Las Vegas is a Scary Place!
by horn-head
Summary: COMPLETE! Sent on a mission by Dumbledore, the presumed dead Sirius Black and the presumed gentleman Remus Lupin are forced to learn the magical and muggle ways of Las Vegas with only the help of three witches and a demented pirate. SB&OC RL
1. Take Off My WHAT?

**Summary: Dumbledore sends Remus and Sirius to America to recruit more people for the order. He gives them a portkey and tells them that they will meet their contacts in a park in Las Vegas, NV. He explains that Las Vegas is full of people and they'll be fairly inconspicuous in such a crowded atmosphere.**

**Warnings: OoTP spoilers and Sirius denial.**

**Disclaimers: That's right, folks, we own it all. Yup, we own it and we're posting on fan fiction. If you believe that, stop reading now. You don't need to read anything that might upset your fragile being.**

**1996**

**Las Vegas, NV**

Sitting under a cluster of trees near a quiet pond, two witches waited. Out from the underbrush rushed a strawberry blonde Irish Setter carrying a bright blue ball. The taller and older of the two witches took the ball from the dog and threw it, watching as the dog woofed happily and ran after it.

The other witch brushed her long, maroon hair out of her eyes and sighed. "Why do you encourage her?"

The tall witch gave a kind smile. "Because if I don't throw the ball, she spends twenty minutes transforming between her human and animagus forms and it is rather pathetic." The redheaded witch rolled her eyes at her companion who continued. "Really, human form, throw the ball; dog form, retrieve the ball; human form, throw the ball; dog form retrieve the ball..."

The redhead sat up a little straighter. "That's why I've never been a dog person."

The other witch ran her fingers through her chocolate brown curls and shook them with feigned disinterest. "Ahh... so that's why. I thought it was something a little closer to home." She gave a thoughtful pause and indicated the dog. "And I don't mean her."

The redhead nodded. "Well, there is that. But try throwing a ball for a cat sometime and see what happens."

The brunette smiled. "I suppose," she responded and continued her game with the Irish Setter. On her last round, the dog looked around to make sure no one else was watching and transformed into a petite strawberry blonde witch. She handed the ball to the brunette, who wiped it on the grass, shrunk it down and placed it in her pocket.

The animagus sat on the grass next to her friends. "So, when are they showing up?"

The oldest of the three witches answered after blowing a stray curl from her face. "Anytime now. The portkey is only operational for another twenty minutes or so." She turned to the redhead. "Do you have the descriptions?"

The redhead laughed. "Yes, but do you really think we'll need them? Two wizards are about to pop into the middle of the Fairy Grove, I think that's description enough."

Her companion sighed. "Fine, but we follow protocol until we are sure." The redhead gave her friend an exasperated sigh, but the other witch continued. "That means no last names, no mention of other members, no unnecessary information, no..."

The redhead interrupted. "Aye, Moody." She proclaimed and burst into a fit of giggles. "Constant vigilance!" she added, mimicking Moody in gruffness of voice.

The animagus piped up, "We wouldn't want to loose a buttock!"

The redhead jumped up and gave her best imitation of Mad-eye Moody. "How'd you know about the buttock?"

Her friend blushed and laughed. "Jack told me one night."

A clear pop was heard a few yards away as the two wizards arrived from Scotland.

Sirius and Remus came to a full stop by a quiet pond surrounded by trees, where they were greeted by three witches. The redheaded witch stepped forward and smiled. "Well, I think I have an idea who you are but introductions are in order for the rest of us." She said and indicated the two witches behind her. "My name is Paige and these are two of my roommates behind me. This is Kate and this is Rose. We will be your contacts while you're here in Vegas and you are welcome to stay with us."

Sirius stepped forward. "Sirius Black, at you service my ladies." He bowed and attempted to kiss each of their hands in turn. He used this action to look each of them over. Paige was of medium height with waist-length maroon hair and big dark brown eyes that seemed to sparkle. She laughed and curtsied as he kissed her hand. Rose was a tiny little thing with shoulder length blonde hair and turquoise eyes. She giggled and blushed as he kissed her hand. And finally, there was Kate. Kate was tall, being only a few inches shorter than Remus and had shoulder-length chocolate brown hair with a few hints of silver and light blue eyes. When he moved to kiss her hand she turned his wrist and shook his hand, making his robe ride up on his forearm.

He smiled at the three witches and motioned toward his companion. "This is my associate Remus Lupin." Remus rolled his eyes at his friend and nodded in greeting to the ladies.

Paige nodded and smiled. "Let's get you settled in then." At this Kate started walking toward the car and Paige followed. Rose, however, didn't follow because she was distracted by some ducks. Paige yelled back, "Are you going with us Rose?" The little witch paused, looking longingly at the ducks.

She turned to Paige and pointed, "But Paige… there are ducks."

Paige rolled her eyes and nodded, "Do you mind apparating home? Us normal people would like to get on with business."

Rose looked at Paige with bliss-filled eyes, "Woohoo," she exclaimed.

Meanwhile, Kate was rearranging what looked to be a small library in the back seat of her car. Paige glanced over, assessing the state of it. "You know, you really need to get those bookshelves put in. Every time I get into your car I feel I am going to be buried under an avalanche."

Kate looked up from the backseat. "I did," she somberly replied and moved to get into the driver's seat. Paige laughed incredulously and shrugged at Remus and Sirius.

"I guess I will take the backseat because I'm used to fighting for my life in a car." She shouted these last seven words towards Kate. "Which one of you is going to be joining me?"

Sirius leaned over to Remus. "So mate, redhead or brunette?" Remus just rolled his eyes and got in the front seat.

He let out a barking laugh. "Good, I like redheads," he exclaimed before making a mental note to categorize his company. _'So, an amazon librarian, a halfling with a fascination for ducks, and someone very interesting indeed,' _he thought

Sirius climbed into the backseat. It had been expanded and was actually much larger then it like looked from the outside. Bookshelves lined the walls and doors of the car. The books and files that had been on the seat were moved to the floor.

Paige turned to Sirius, "You are either very brave or really stupid, only time will tell."

At that Kate rolled her eyes at Paige, "You know I could remove the sticking charm."

"Just drive and leave worrying about dodging projectiles us, thank you," Paige retorted

All was well in the little car, or 'book mobile' as Paige had dubbed it, until Paige asked for Kate to turn it up the radio as the song "Of Wolf and Man" by Mettallica came on and Paige started singing her heart out. Sirius looked amused, and noticed that Remus looked scandalized.

Kate slammed on the brakes as someone cut her off, freaking everyone out. Paige yelled "Ow. Sirius put on your seatbelt. I don't want to be caught in this position again!"

Sirius righted himself and did as she asked, smiling an apology at her.

Kate on the other hand took a deep breath, and calmly stated in the direction of the other car "You really want to get off at the next exit before you hurt someone." At which point, the car that had just cut them off crossed three lanes of traffic to get off at the Russell exit.

Remus then added, "And never breed."

Both witches responded in stereo "My thoughts exactly."

Ten minutes later, they had arrived at Mystic Meadows Apartments behind the Super Wal-Mart. The girls lead Sirius and Remus to their apartment. Kate excused herself to fetch a book from the car and Paige muttered under her breath, "Bloody bookworm," then showed the wizards into the apartment. "Alright boys, this is the living room. That's the kitchen, and I will show you to your room."

Walking past the kitchen, they heard Rose yell, "Tacos or Hot Dogs?"

Paige turned back, "She always picks easy things to make when it's her turn to cook." At which both Sirius and Remus shrugged.

Rose let out an exasperated sigh. She asked again, a little more forcefully, "Tacos or Hot Dogs?"

Sirius looked at Remus, Remus shook his head.

Sirius said, "I'm a taco man myself."

Unfortunately, Kate walked into the room just as Sirius was proclaiming himself to be a "Taco Man' and immediately ran to her bedroom, where the only thing that could be heard was muffled gales of laughter.

Paige looked at Sirius and grinned. "Whatever you say, Tacoman," then yelled out "They want tacos, stop yelling!"

Remus remarked, "Do you realize how ironic it is that you are yelling at her to stop yelling?"

To which Paige replied "So?" At this, Kate returned to the common room eyes still bright from laughter.

Halfway through dinner, Paige's cat Fido came into the dining room. Sniffing the occupants it gave a quick hiss at Kate, who growled causing Fido to flee to the other side of the dining room right into Remus, who was talking with Rose. Fido sensed a dark creature and attacked, sending the dining room into chaos. Remus jumped up, flipped the table over, and flung out his arms knocking Rose into a wall sconce rendering her unconscious. All the food that was on the table landed on Sirius with the exception of the pitcher of pumpkin juice, which landed on Paige. Kate moved around the table and pulled the cat from Remus's leg. It growled and lunged for her throat. Kate took a swing at Fido, tossing the psychotic feline onto the balcony. She turned and shut the door.

Kate was the first to speak, "Why can't I kill your cat, again?"

Paige ignored Kate, "Dinner is usually not this exciting, wouldn't you say Rose... Rose?" She turned to see Rose slumped over on the floor.

Kate rushed over and started checking Rose's vitals. "Well, she's alright. Let's put her to bed." Paige jumped up and helped Kate carry Rose to her room.

Coming back out, Paige looked over at Sirius who was covered in taco ingredients and laughed. "Well, well, well you really are the Tacoman."

Kate led Remus to the bathroom to clean up his wounds. Sirius looked down at Paige's chest and his eyebrows went up.

Paige followed his eyes down and gasped. "I guess I shouldn't have worn white. I think I'd better change."

Sirius grinned and responded, "If you wish. I really don't mind the show."

After changing, Paige returned to find Sirius still dripping salsa. "Aren't you going to change?"

Sirius smiled, embarrassed, and responded in a small voice "I forgot to bring any clothes."

Paige sighed "Well, go take those off. I will get you something to wear." Paige dug out a pair of shorts and a t-shirt for Sirius to change into then quickly maneuvered him into the guestroom and shut the door.

As she passed the bathroom door on her way back down the hall she stopped. She heard Kate pleading, "I can't get a good look at it unless you take your pants off."

To which Remus replied, "It's sticking out right there."

Kate sighed, "I can see that but your pants are covering most of it and I can't very well touch properly if it is covered up."

Sirius opened the door and entered the hallway. Paige let out an evil giggle and motioned for Sirius to come over. They listened as the two continued to bicker.

"Now listen miss, I understand you are trying to make me feel better. However, I really think it would be a much more pleasurable experience for all involved if I keep my pants on."

Kate sounded exasperated, "Mr. Lupin, I will feel much better if you just take your pants off so I can get a good look at it. For heaven's sake, it is already oozing through!" She tsked. "It really can't be comfortable for you, and it won't take more than a few minutes. I'm quite skilled at this."

Remus blanched, "I am not doubting your skill, Kate. However, I do not believe we have been in long enough acquaintance to have you give a demonstration of said skills."

Kate replied, "There is no need to be shy. It happens to everyone from time to time. Just let me take care of it and we'll all be happier."

By this point in the debate, Kate noticed the laughter coming from the hallway. And some pieces of a greater linguistic puzzle finally clicked for Kate, "Excuse me for one minute, Mr. Lupin."

Kate opened the bathroom door, knocking Sirius and Paige over in the hall. Kate stepped over them and grabbed a red sarong from her room. Returning to the bathroom, she burst into the small room and said, "Mr. Lupin please remove your slacks" she pointed to his trousers, "and put this on. I will be back in a minute."

Moving back to the hallway, she flicked Paige on the back of the head. "Why didn't you remind me that pants meant...underwear in the U.K.?"

Paige gasped between howls of laughter, "For all I know, you could have wanted him to remove his underwear."

Kate glared at her good friend, "Very funny Paige, for all I know I probably scarred the poor man for life!"

Sirius spoke up, "Hmmm... A young woman wanting a man to remove his underwear so she can see it better and staunch the oozing? Yes, that may very well scar Moony for life. Now me, on the other hand...but then I'm not wearing pants, as they have already been taken from me." He waggled his eyebrows at Paige.

A seemingly self-righteous Paige responded "Why on earth would you think that I would have a pair of men's underwear lying around in my bedroom?" Paige glanced over at Kate who had raised an eyebrow. "Shut up, Kate."

Remus burst out of the bathroom, knocking Kate to the floor. "Alright, but I'm not happy about it."

Paige's eyes went wide and she giggled. Sirius looked at his friend. "Hey mate, you kind of need to adjust the sarong a little." Remus turned the same shade of crimson as his sarong, and backed into the bathroom.

Paige and Sirius laughed and headed down the hall. Sitting down in a very comfortable chenille armchair, Paige picked up the remote and flicked on the TV. Sirius followed her lead and sat down in a matching armchair and looked at the screen, amazed.

"Wow. Is this a television?" he asked.

Paige flipped through the channels. "Uh-huh. You've never seen one before?"

Sirius watched the channels go by, completely fascinated. "Well, I've seen one once. We don't really have a lot of muggle things in our houses in England. Whoa! What the heck is that?" Sirius asked about a show Paige had stopped on for a second. There was a little blob laughing and what looked to be a dog with very big ears grimacing.

"Oh, that's Ren and Stimpy. It's kind of funny, I guess. I watch it every once in a while." Paige replied.

Sirius moved to the edge of his seat. "Can we watch that now?"

Paige raised an eyebrow. "Ok, sure." She laughed at him over the next half-hour as he loved every minute of the show.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Meanwhile back in the bathroom. Kate had a sudden fascination with the floor as she was speaking with Remus. "Listen, I'm sorry about before. I really wasn't trying to get you to remove your undergarments and look at you in that...umm... way."

As she bustled further into the bathroom, she brushed up against Remus by accident. Unfortunately, it was only a week until the full moon and though Remus was the archetype for a perfect English gentleman, Moony was not. "I see. So you don't want to see me without my pants now?" Moony queried.

Kate went a bright shade of red, "Yes, exactly. I mean no...I mean..."

However, Moony interrupted her. "So now that I have my pants off, are you going to look at it?" Kate lifted Remus's leg to the side of the tub and gently started to wash it off. Moony let out a low growl, and she jumped back and fell towards the floor.

Remus caught her mid-fall. However, his leg hitched on the edge of the tub and he proceeded to topple on top of Kate. As they were both getting up, Kate tripped, pitched forward and found her self on all fours facing away from Remus. Having successfully stood up Moony took notice of Kate's position, which lead to him taking this opportunity to investigate a possible new mate.

Nudging her backside with his legs, Moony let out a slight chuckle "Maybe it would have been better if I had insisted on you removing your pants?"

Kate, or should we say Luna, let out a low growl causing her to snap back into the reality of the situation. _She couldn't do this; werewolves don't have intimate relationships with men. And those that did usually ended up on the wrong side of a silver bullet!_

She had to think, but it felt so good. Moony had gotten on the floor and was running his hands through her hair while he straddled her. He moved his hands over her back and she rolled her hips to brush his stomach. He let out a growl, drawing her attention away from the sensations racing through her body.

In one fluid movement, she pushed him off her. "Sorry, I really have to go now." She mumbled as she left the room, leaving a very frustrated and embarrassed werewolf in her wake.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sirius and Paige were oblivious to all this as they continued to watch the adventures of Ren and Stimpy

When it was over Sirius turned to her. "Can we watch more of that? That was great!"

Paige shook her head. "No, that's over now. It will be on tomorrow night though."

Sirius was disappointed. "Oh. Well, what now?"

Paige shrugged, "I don't know, we could always see if Kate and Remus are going to embarrass themselves even more."

Sirius shook his head. "I think if we do that they'll get a little upset with us, don't you?"

Paige laughed, "Probably. We could go over the plans for what you two are going to do while you're here. Vegas can get kind of tricky if you go into the wrong areas."

Sirius nodded and responded, "Sounds good. Where should I try to avoid?"

Paige laughed. "Well, I'm guessing that you're straight, right?"

Sirius nodded emphatically. "Very much so, couldn't you tell?"

Paige laughed harder this time. "Well, I picked up a few hints, but you never know. I'd say that you should avoid a bar or two then. The Red Rooster comes to mind, it's a swingers club. I wouldn't go in there unless you're REALLY devoted to the Order. I mean, you can meet some really interesting people in there and everything, but on the other hand, you can meet some _really interesting people_ in there. Know what I mean?"

Sirius smiled. "I've got a pretty good idea. Alright, so where do I start?"

Paige thought for a moment then said, "I have an idea. We can just start going around and you can make friends with people and just go with the flow. You'll know who to try to recruit and who not to."

Sirius thought for a second. "Sounds good to me... Alright business is taken care of, now for pleasure."

Paige shrugged, "What do you want to do?"

Sirius rethought what he wanted to say and decided that what he wanted was a bad idea. "Erm, I really should get to bed. We have a lot of work to get done in the next few days and I'm sure you have a job to go to tomorrow."

Paige nodded. "Tomorrow night, anyway, I don't usually work in the mornings. I'll get to bed also. My room is right next to yours, so come on in if you need anything during the night, okay? See you tomorrow."

She walked down the hall and Sirius could hear a door close. He sighed and went to the guest room.

Remus was in there already and Sirius grinned at his friend. "Have a good time, mate?"

Remus glared at him. "Well, let's see. I was completely humiliated by a girl because of a language barrier. I was put in a skirt. I flashed a couple of people. I lost control and my other half became very... umm...fresh with said girl, probably scaring her half to death but not before I became so bloody randy that I couldn't see straight. And to top it all off I had to clean up my leg myself." He let out a wary sigh. "I had a wonderful time, Padfoot. How was your time?"

Sirius grinned. "I watched something called 'Ren and Stimpy'. Interesting show. I got to spend time with Paige, who is pretty interesting as well. To answer your question... I had fun." He flopped down on his bed and fell fast asleep, leaving a very miffed Remus wide-awake.

**A/N: Here we are again, I know you'd rather read about Kate and Remus having lots of wild werewolf sex but you'll have to wait on that one. Not in the cards for today! Next chapter, they will go to Wal-Mart so stay tuned! If you would like to read one possible explanation as to why Dumbledore sent our Marauders to America, read I Wanna Puppy! A story of mystery, of enchantment, of headmasters that can wave without the use of their hands... **

**Messyrs Profpendragon, Hornhead, and Rosi offer their compliments to There Goes my Gun, and beg her forgiveness for not listening to her when she told us this first chapter was crap. We've since gone through it and found that it needed quite a bit of work. In all fairness, it is our first time co-authoring a story and we hadn't gotten the hang of it yet. :D Thank you, Gun, for bringing this to our attention. **


	2. WalMart and Werewolves

**A/N: We don't own it, we just put our spin on it. J. K. Rowling is the genius behind this world and we wish we could be a part of it. Why else would we spend so much time writing and reading it?**

**Thank you for continuing to read our work. We really do appreciate it and we love you for it. Well, another chapter right here for your enjoyment folks! Read on and enjoy!**

_Present Day: Las Vegas Nevada_

Dumbledore sends Remus and Sirius to America to recruit more people for the order. He gives them a portkey and tells them that they will meet their contacts in a park in Las Vegas, as Las Vegas is full of people and they'll be fairly inconspicuous in such a crowded atmosphere.

It was a little after nine, when Sirius rolled out of bed. He noticed Remus was still sound asleep, of course, Remus could sleep soundly through an air raid. Sirius got up, stretched a bit, and walked to the door. He noticed both his and Remus's clothes from the night before were neatly folded on the floor just inside the bedroom door. He quickly dressed and went to explore the house without supervision.

He noticed Paige's door was closed as was Rose's. Kate's door was open and sunlight streamed through the window on to a freshly made bed. Using his 'Paddy sense' as he liked to call it because it flustered Remus, Sirius noted that the room hadn't been occupied for a several hours.

Sirius continued his tour of the house but stopped in the kitchen. Before him stood a pirate, complete with sarong, dreadlocks, and nothing else.

The pirate turned from his huge sandwich, "Hey mate," he said between mouthfuls. "You must be one of those blokes from Dumbledore."

Sirius stared at the pirate, who weaved a bit as he talked to the wizard. The pirate extended his hand "Captain Jack Morgan, head pirate for the TI, at your service."

Sirius extended his hand "Sirius Black, head Marauder for the Order."

Jack laughed, "Well met. I'm Rose's beau."

Jack was going to explain more but Kate stumbled through the door carrying, several sacks of groceries.

The pirate turned to Kate "Good morning, luv."

Kate crossed to the kitchen, where she unceremoniously dumped several bags of groceries on the floor. "Morning Jack, morning Sirius. I'll be back I've got another batch in the car."

Sirius stepped forward "Do you need help, milady? Perhaps some pants?"

Kate blushed furiously and mumbled "No thank you, I'm fine." as she walked back downstairs.

Sirius just watched her retreating form, causing Jack to laugh. "No offense meant mate but you would have better luck with Paige. This one hasn't accepted a date in over the year I've know her and keeps that perfect Mary Poppins image in check 24-7." He paused for a minute as he looked through the bags. "Although..." Sirius just shook his head and began unpacking groceries with Jack.

Kate yawned as she entered the kitchen with the second batch of groceries.

Jack swaggered over to the witch. "So Katie, what is with all the food?"

Kate looked towards the cupboards, "Nothing Jack. Just the monthly supplies, and I thought I would make some fudge and chocolate cookies."

Jack smiled evilly, "Really?" Kate stifled another yawn.

"My Katie, you are yawning an awful lot. Tired, luv?"

Kate glared "I woke up early that's all."

Sirius looked at Kate. "Where did you go?"

Kate gave a worried glance towards Sirius "Well, I went to the office and did some case files. Then I cleaned out my car. Then I walked Sunset Park a few times, went to the grocery store, and then came home. Nothing too much."

Jack gave the most evil of laughs. "So what time did you start your errands this morning?" Kate mumbled something that neither man could make out.

"What was that?" Sirius asked.

Kate sighed and said "I've been up since 4:30."

Jack started to swagger towards her again "So Katie luv, you've been up since 4:30 this morning doing everything imaginable to keep your mind occupied and now you are going to bake enough confections to feed the Spanish fleet. My, aren't we the randy she-wolf! Craving someone to help you bay at the moon?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Kate said through clinched teeth as she moved to grab a bag of walnuts.

Jack waggled his eyebrows at Sirius, and continued on his quest to break Kate's cool. "So luv, who got your dainty perfectly cool, calm, and controlled knickers in a twist?"

Kate slammed the bag down on the counter. "Shut it, Jack."

"Oh come on luv, it's only classified as doggy-style during that time of the moon. Or should I say wolfie style?"

Kate was now fingering her wand, and trying her best not to blast a hole through her twit of a roommate.

Jack patted her on the back. "Stop pouting luv, you are a perfectly charming girl, once you get past the librarian act. You have a very sexy beast lying under that girl next door exterior, you just need to let the world see it. I mean a beautiful witch is a beautiful witch even if she is a were..."

Jack had stopped talking when he finally noticed two things. First, Sirius was in the room and Kate probably didn't want her little secret out. And second, Kate had her wand pointed at his privates.

Remus chose this time to make his appearance and a very flustered Kate went running from the room.

Jack inclined his head towards Remus and asked Sirius "Is it this one then?"

Paige stumbled out of her room, bleary-eyed and yawning, wearing a tiny pair of panties and a tight shirt that said, "I'll try anything once, twice if I like it!" on it. She didn't seem to notice all of the men sitting in the dining room as she walked past them into the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator door and stuck her head inside.

Jack chuckled, "Paige, darling, don't you think you've forgotten to do something?"

Paige yawned loudly and replied, "Oh come off it Jack! It's not like you haven't seen me in my underwear before."

Jack chuckled, "That I have. Last time it was a thong, lucky me. This time you might want to put on a pair of pants."

Paige got annoyed, and growled. "I thought we already went over this, Jack. You have seen me in much less."

Jack bit his hand to keep from laughing out loud, "I have, but I don't think these two gentlemen have before!" Paige straightened up, shock and realization evident on her face. She looked at the two men and smiled. Remus was blushing furiously and staring at the floor like it was the most interesting thing he had ever seen and Sirius was eyeing her and enjoying this little embarrassing spectacle almost as much as Jack.

Paige put her hands on her hips and asked, "Get a good look, Sirius? Or should I come closer and turn around slowly?"

Sirius grinned at her and winked. "Hey, I'm not opposed to getting a good look sometime but Remus looks like he's going to explode. Why don't we continue this in private?"

Paige grinned and shook her head at him. "Well, I'll go put on some pants for Remus' sake."

Sirius followed her to her room and was disappointed when she shut the door in his face.

He went back in the dining room and shrugged at Jack who was chuckling again. "I thought that's what she wanted? Oh well."

Paige rejoined them after a minute and smiled an apology at Remus who still didn't want to look her in the eye.

"Alright, boys, what'll it be? I make a pretty good omelet."

Sirius piped up, "Sunny side up instead please. Oh, and some toast and bacon if you've got it." He gave Remus a wicked glance, "Maybe some pants for my friend."

Remus glared at his friend. "Shut up, Padfoot."

Jack watched the two men interact with Paige and interrupted, "Paige, poppet, have you noticed Katie acting a little strange? It's almost like she fancies someone. If we're not careful, she might turn out to be a very naughty were-"Paige glared fiercely at him, "Um, _woman_. But what do I know? I'm just a pirate who's never even gotten close to that booty. Anyway, I've got a lovely little angel to wake up." Jack grabbed a can of chocolate frosting and headed to Rose's room, a big grin plastered on his face.

Paige chuckled to herself and mumbled, "Lucky girl."

Sirius was the only one who heard her and he winked when she glanced at him. She blushed slightly and smiled at him. This caused Sirius to laugh as she set breakfast in front of him and Remus.

Paige's smile got a little wider and she mumbled, "Just eat the damn food." and walked to her room.

Paige was stopped in the hall by a very angry Captain Jack Morgan, who grabbed Paige and dragged her back to the kitchen.

He glared at the trio and then bellowed "Katie, get your little Mary Sunshine arse out here. Now!" With that he pulled a pistol from his belt and shot it upwards knocking loose the kitchen light.

Kate emerged from her room and came into the kitchen. "Do you mind explaining what the light fixture did Jack? I'm sure it didn't deserve the death penalty."

He glared at Kate. "Shut up you sly wol...woman. I want to know who broke my lovely Rose." Jack exclaimed nearly sobbing out the last part.

Paige giggled and replied, "Jack, honey, she fell into a wall sconce last night when Fido attacked all of us. Remus had to get his leg looked at by Kate." She shared a glance with Sirius and they both smiled. "I got covered in pumpkin juice, and Sirius got all of the other food on him. It wasn't our fault, okay? Put the gun away before you shoot yourself again and we have to explain why you're dressed like that to social services. It was funny once, twice will just be pathetic."

Jack huffed and jabbed his gun back in the holster, making everyone jump and gasp.

Paige yelled, "If you don't have the safety on that piece of shit I'm going to kill you!" and made a grab for the pistol.

Jack jumped out of the way but Kate grabbed him and growled in his ear, "Give me the pistol Jack." Jack reluctantly handed her the pistol.

Straightening himself up he glared at Kate and said, "I meant no harm by it, luv. C'mon, shot's not even silver!"

Paige grabbed him roughly by the collar and dragged him to Rose's room. "If you don't learn to behave with that thing, I'm personally going to make sure it goes off in a very uncomfortable place for you! Now wake up your damn woman so she can take you to work!"

She shoved him into the bedroom and he lost his balance. Paige looked satisfied as he hit the floor with a very loud "thump" and slammed the door as she left.

Though shaken, Remus and Sirius attempted to continue eating breakfast. With a nervous glance at Paige as she entered the room Sirius cleared his throat and said, "So, you said that we could find a place to get me some new clothes today?"

Paige whipped her head around and nodded. "Uh, yeah. Wal-Mart is right in front of us so we can just go there. Remus did you bring anything with you?"

Remus just asked in a small, scared voice, "Why do you have silver bullets in your house?"

Kate hastily replied, "We don't and never will." She paused to think out a reasonable excuse for Jack carrying silver bullets outside the obvious. "Jack carries them because he foolishly thinks they won't set off a metal detector."

Remus relaxed a little and let out a sigh of relief. Kate didn't notice as she began rummaging through the kitchen cupboards.

Paige asked, "What are you looking for, Luna?"

Kate looked slightly annoyed at the use of her nickname, "Well let's see, Rose has been unconscious for fourteen hours. The likelihood of captain obvious actually waking her is slim to none. However this just might." She pulled out a small crystal vial containing a red liquid.

Paige stared blankly, "Kool-aid?"

Kate walked past her and turned back, "No, not kool-aid, pepper-up potion."

Paige giggled. "I knew that. How many times have we needed to use that after psycho-sailor was here?"

Kate smiled, "You mean this month, or total?"

Paige shook her head. "Either way it's too high to count." she said. Kate shrugged and made her way to Rose's room.

Paige smiled at Remus, "Sorry about earlier, didn't mean to embarrass you. You never answered my question, do you need to get some new clothes also?"

Remus nodded. "A few things would be nice but I don't have any muggle money on me."

Paige gave a dismissive wave, "Don't even worry about it, I've got it covered."

Remus started to protest and Sirius kicked him in the shin. "Ow, you git! That hurt."

Sirius shook his head and smiled at Paige. "Breakfast was lovely. I'll just go take a shower and then we can go, alright?"

Paige shrugged and nodded. "Like I said, I have the morning off so I don't really care when. Kate has the day off, so she won't care either way."

Sirius looked confused. "Then why was she in her office this morning?"

Paige thought for a second. "I don't know. She won't tell me what's going on with her right now. I think she's still embarrassed about that whole thing last night with you, Remus."

Remus stared at her horrified. "What did she tell you?!" he almost yelled.

Paige furrowed her eyebrows and responded warily, "I was in the hallway, remember? You thought she wanted you to take off your underwear and she meant your pants. Why? Did anything else happen that I should know about?"

Sirius looked slightly amused and his eyebrow shot up when Remus replied. "Oh, uh, not much else happened really. Just cleaned it up and went to bed. Nothing else happened." He said the last part a little too quickly and jumped up. "I'm going to go get a shower, okay? I think I need one rather desperately."

Sirius stopped a chuckle and Paige nodded. She sat down next to Sirius as Remus left.

Setting her hand on his arm she asked, "So, are you going to tell me what happened or do I have to bug Kate incessantly until she breaks down and tells me?"

Sirius shrugged. "Bothering her that much could prove fatal. As for what happened, I couldn't tell you." Paige pouted and took her hand off his arm.

Sirius laughed and winked. "I really couldn't tell you luv. Even if I could Remus would kill me. You might want to wait a week and a half or so before bothering her."

Paige looked at him suspiciously, her eyes narrowing and her shoulders tensing up. "Why do you say that?"

Sirius merely shrugged, "Oh, I think that if you don't find out in that time that you would get it out of her easier is all." Paige relaxed a little bit but remained wary.

"Alright, I guess I could wait that long. I'll figure it out eventually, it's just that it's driving me crazy." She stood up quickly and ran her hand through her hair. "Well, I guess I'll go get dressed for the day." Sirius chuckled and waited for his turn to use the bathroom.

When everyone was awake/cleaned up/calmed down, they congregated in the living room. Paige motioned for everyone to be quiet and spoke up, "Alright, Sirius and Remus have to go to the store, who is going with us?"

Rose still looked a little woozy and Kate stepped in when she went to speak. "I think it would be best if you rested today, Rose. You can meet us for dinner later on."

Paige let out a sigh of relief when Rose and Jack agreed. "You can even pick the place, alright?"

Rose did a little happy dance on the couch and smiled. Jack made her go back to bed and promised her that he would stay with her the entire day to make sure she had everything she needed.

Paige, looking quite a bit happier, turned to the door. "Let's go, guys." She went down the steps and walked quickly towards the big building that loomed ahead. Remus, Kate and Sirius followed approaching the big box that was (dum dum dum!) Super Wal-Mart.

The two wizards gazed around in wonder as the girls wound around the crowd to the men's clothes.

Paige held up a light blue shirt to Remus and said, "What do you think?"

Remus was still a little put off by the idea of her buying him clothes and shrugged. "Um, it's nice."

Sirius nodded. "That means yes. It's a lot like what he normally wears so he'll be comfortable in it. I'll help you two decipher what he's saying because you won't get a good answer out of him right now."

She grinned and pulled out a few other shirts. "Here, go try them on and come back with what you want. Oh, and Remus? Don't worry about the money, I make more than enough to cover clothes for you two."

Remus left with his pile of clothes as Kate pointed to the dressing rooms. They both blushed as they interacted and Paige walked to another rack of clothes. Sirius followed after her and picked up a leopard print brief.

"What's this?" he asked.

Paige giggled and cast a wicked at Kate. "Pants."

She erupted into loud howls of laughter as Sirius held it up to himself. He noticed Kate suddenly became very interested in a rack of dress shirts. He put it back having gotten the reaction he wanted and moved on to a shelf full of jeans. He pulled a few out and waited for Paige to finish finding him shirts to try on.

She pushed a few at him. "Here, go try these." She continued, "Kate and I will be in the shoe department when you're done." She bounded off, dragging Kate with her. Sirius caught Remus on the way and had him wait while Sirius tried on the mountain of clothes Paige had pulled off the rack for him.

They eventually found the shoes and the two women within.

Sirius eyed Remus and said, "You know mate, you might want to get a new pair of shoes."

Remus gave him a condescending look. "Right, Padfoot! Bloody brilliant idea," He turned and picked up the first shoe on hand, a strappy, black stiletto, and continued, "because the villagers won't mind me rampaging you-know-when if I'm wearing a sexy pump."

Sirius shrugged. "I was talking about a new pair of loafers, but whatever you want mate." Remus glared at him and turned away.

At that moment they heard Kate exclaim, "Yes Paige, my condition won't matter if I'm wearing a pair of boots that say 'take me, big boy!'"

Paige shot back, "Well, it'll get you laid! I know that hasn't happened in a while because you're cranky. Good sex makes everyone happier."

Kate quipped back, "Yeah, until the angry mob shows up and kills the atmosphere."

Sirius cleared his throat and made both girls jump.

Paige grabbed the boot from Kate's hand, "Sirius, what do these say to you?"

"They're not saying anything yet. If they ever speak up, I'll let you know."

Paige glared at him. "What do you know, you're a guy!" She turned without a word and walked to the Halloween aisle.

Sirius shrugged and headed off in the opposite direction. Kate and Remus exchanged a look, blushed, and followed their respective friends. Sirius had made his way to the women's lingerie section and was examining a lacy black teddy when Remus caught up to him.

Sirius asked, "What do you think?"

Remus replied, "It's a little cliché for you to wear black, don't you think?"

Sirius bit back, "I wouldn't be talking about clichés if I were you, Remus LUPIN!"

Remus shrugged, "That's not cliché, old friend, it's poetic irony."

Sirius laughed. "No really... what do you think? If a woman came into the room wearing this for me I'd..."

Remus cut him off, "It's very nice, Padfoot. Now put it away before..." but it was too late.

Kate cleared her throat. They turned around to find Paige giggling madly and Kate failing miserably at not blushing. Sirius let go of the object and Remus kicked it under a rack making Paige convulse into more giggles. Sirius laughed, embarrassed, and did his best to get out of the questions that were hanging in the air.

"Um, what else is here that we might find interesting?"

Paige held back her laughter, "You mean besides all of this?"

Kate nudged her with her elbow. "There's the Halloween section."

They agreed to go there and Sirius found himself looking at a very cheesy mask that had a label that said "werewolf" on it. He threw it at Lupin and grinned. Remus held it out, horrified.

"Is this what I look like? Do I look like that?"

Sirius laughed. "No, I'd say you look more like Snape. They changed the face so it wouldn't scar kids for life. It's made by muggles! What do they know about anything to do with our world?"

Remus looked over to see Paige staring at him inquisitively but she turned back to a candle she had been smelling.

Remus smacked Sirius on the back of the head. "If you're not careful those two are going to find out!"

Sirius held up his hands. "You started it. I just answered your question."

Kate came up with a package that read, "stripper costume" she grinned wickedly. Wide eyed and with an innocent voice she asked, "So Paige, does Nevada still require pasties or is this out of date?"

Paige grinned and replied, "Since when have I ever paid attention to that stuff? It is funny though. Do you think I should get it?" Sirius opened his mouth but he was cut off by a glance from Remus. Kate burst into giggles.

Paige responded, "Stop laughing Kate" which made Kate laugh harder.

Paige muttered, "Stupid mutt, always ruining the good jokes."

Kate shot back, "I don't know, do you ever start out in that much clothing?"

Paige glared at her friend and yelled, "Bad dog! Don't make me get the newspaper!"

Sirius danced back out of reach and responded, "Hey! I didn't even do anything!"

Both witches looked at him blankly and Paige dismissed it with a wave, "Don't worry Sirius, Kate just gets awfully bitchy this time of the moon."

Remus looked confused. "You mean month."

Paige smiled. "Yeah right... month."

Kate turned and walked towards the check out. Paige giggled and followed in her wake and Remus gave Sirius a puzzled glance before following the two strange women. Sirius clapped him on the back and caught up with Paige. He leaned over and whispered something in her ear that made her laugh out loud as he looked back at Remus.

When they got back Paige made them go try on their clothes and model them for her. Coming out into the living room in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt with a dog and a logo that said "SIRIUS" on it (Paige told him it was a satellite company, whatever that was), Sirius stopped to listen to Paige and Kate talking.

"What happened to you last night?" Paige asked.

Kate blushed and stammered, "Umm... well... IkindacameontoRemuslastnightanditwentwronganditwenthorriblyhorriblywrong."

Paige burst into hoots of laughter. "How did it go wrong, Luna?"

Kate spoke quickly, "It just did."

Paige sighed. "Well, I can't help you figure everything out if I don't know how it went wrong." Sirius saw her move to sit next to Kate. "Come on, you can tell me. What happened?" Kate whispered something to Paige. She burst into howls of hysterical laughter and fell onto the floor. "Now that's definitely different. Okay, so what do you want to do about it?"

Kate thought for a moment before responding, "I don't know, Paige! I don't think there's anything I can do, the man's avoiding me like the plague and I really don't blame him."

Paige giggled. "And why is that, little Miss Loonypants?"

Kate sighed. "I think that would be obvious." she responded with sarcasm.

Paige shrugged, "I don't think it's as much of a problem as you might think."

Kate spoke in a small voice, "I really don't think Remus or anyone with an ounce of sanity would want to be with me and I threw myself at him for heaven's sake!"

Paige let out a sigh and nudged her friend. "Well, I guess you're saying that I don't have any sanity whatsoever because I live with you. Granted, I don't sleep with you..." she grinned at Kate and gave her a hug. "I definitely don't want that, but I live with you on good days and bad days."

Kate sighed. "I know."

Paige piped up. "I know! I can coach you on how to get him to do whatever you want!" Kate gave her a disbelieving look. "No, really Kate. You could get Remus to do anything you want just by doing a few well-placed moves. The best part is, he would stay none the wiser. Watch, when Sirius comes back in I'll show you what I mean."

Sirius grew very curious at this and stepped into the room.

Paige hopped up and smiled. "Sirius! Would you come here for a second?" Sirius stepped over to her and she immediately kissed him passionately. She ran her hands down his back and pressed her body into his. Sirius went on auto-pilot and ground his hips into hers. He held her in closer and groaned into her mouth. Paige broke it off and spared a grin at Kate. She looked back up at Sirius and asked, "Sirius, what's your name?"

Sirius couldn't think very clearly and said, "Huh?"

Paige giggled and said, "Sirius, go get me a soda out of the fridge. Oh, and make sure you get a cup of ice to go along with it."

Sirius left and Paige turned to Kate. "You see what I mean? One little kiss and their minds turn to mush. Now, I'm betting that your little pass last night was returned you just didn't see it."

Kate rolled her eyes and tried to hide a smile, "Yeah right, Remus came on to me too. Paige I think you temporarily loose it some times."

Paige sat down next to her again, "Yeah? Well like it or not Kate, I'm the one with the most experience with men. Besides, there's a hell of a lot more to Remus than you're thinking."

Sirius came back in with the soda and ice and gave it to Paige. She grinned at him and blew him a kiss.

"Sirius? Why do you call Remus Moony?" Kate looked up and Sirius got flustered.

"Uh, it's a nickname from school. He's Moony, I'm Padfoot, James is Prongs, and Peter-"he stopped talking and anger flashed in his eyes.

Paige moved and sat next to him. "Okay, but how did he get the nickname? You might as well tell Kate now because she'll find out in about a week anyway."

Sirius sighed and nodded. "He's the only one that can make that decision."

Paige nodded and Kate gave them both a quizzical look.

Paige smiled at him and got up. "I'm going to go have a talk with him, then."

She knocked on the door to the guestroom and Remus opened it. Paige smiled at him, "Can I have a word with you, Remus?"

He shrugged, "I don't see why not. Is there something I can do for you?"

Paige sat down in a rocking chair in the room, "As a matter of fact there is, Remus. I have been talking with Kate."

Remus' eyes went wide and he blushed crimson.

"Oh, don't act like that. It's really just a big mix up. I suggest you tell Kate about yourself. She'll be a hell of a lot more understanding than people might think. Things will turn out better than you think."

Remus shook his head, "How on earth could things possibly turn out ok? I practically shagged her in the bathroom. I molested her and she ran from the bathroom! And I really don't blame her!! I have never put my happiness above anyone else's well being, and I don't intend to start now. I do need to tell Kate but I don't know how to do so."

Paige sighed loudly and growled. "Just tell her, alright? Believe me, she was just as willing last night as you were but she got scared. Do you want me to have her come in here now so you can tell her or would you like to wait until after dinner?"

Just then Jack knocked on the door, "Mate, did I happen to leave a pair of leopard print pants in here?" Both Paige and Remus looked up at a sarong clad pirate with an evil glint in his eye.

Paige cleared her throat, "No, Jack. Now go away."

Jack looked startled "Oh. Well, I'll be leaving then..." he paused for a moment, the evil glint returning to his eyes "Talking about Katie then?" he walked towards Remus and continued in a sing-song voice "She loves you. She wants to kiss you. She so fancies you." He became serious for a moment and began "Remember just go slow and don't catch her at the wrong time of the moon or those love bites could be murder, if you catch my meaning..."

Paige was interrupted from bashing Jack in the head with a random knick-knack, when they heard the sound of Rose and Kate fighting in the living room. They all ran into the front room just in time to see Rose throw a spell at Kate that divested her of all her clothing save for her bra and panties. Kate dove behind the sofa, pulled a blanket off its arm, and wrapped her self up in a makeshift toga. But not before Remus, Sirius, and Jack all had a really good look.

Jack chuckled "Really Katie, I wouldn't have figured you were the type to go for black lace." Rose and Paige sent death glares at him. "Right" he said having the sense to look sheepish.

Paige started in on Rose, "What is going on here? Did that bump on the head cause you to loose what little sense you had to start with?"

Rose turned to Paige and held up her hand, bidding her to be silent. Rose grabbed Kate, who was trying her best to stay covered, and dragged her over to Remus.

Rose turned to Paige and said "Trust me, I am a care of magical creatures professional after all."

She turned back to Remus and Kate. "Female werewolf meet male werewolf. Male werewolf meet female werewolf. Now go make puppies."

Both Kate and Remus were mortified, while Paige and Sirius were on the floor laughing. Rose smiled, quite pleased with herself, and placed Kate's wand back on the counter. Jack's eyes were glazed over as he stared at Remus and Kate as if they were going to go at it in the living room. Rose just sighed and dragged the pirate back to her bedroom.

Kate, Remus, Sirius, and Paige just stared at their retreating figures.

Paige then snapped out of it and banged on Rose's door. "How did you know?" she asked incredulously.

Rose just raised an eyebrow, "I am a professional, Paige. The signs were so clear a child could have deciphered them."

Paige stared at Rose, "A professional? Rose, I work with the dark creatures and you work with all others. I knew, but I didn't figure you would."

Rose looked a little sheepish, "Well that, and a letter came from Dumbledore. It's on the counter. Now if you will excuse me..." Paige heard a silencing spell being muttered and wards being placed on the door.

She headed back towards the living room, where Sirius looked like Christmas had arrived several months early and Remus and Kate were looking anywhere but at each other.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Paige came back into the room. She sighed and sat down on the sofa. "Well, I was going to let you tell her yourself, Remus, but I think Rose's heart was in the right place even if her mind wasn't." Sirius let out a bark of laughter and Remus and Kate exchanged a quick glance. Paige sighed and said, "Come on Sirius, let's give them their privacy." She dragged Sirius back towards her bedroom and whispered to him in the hall, "Meanwhile, I'll call in to work and tell them I'm sick so that I can stay here to see this one out!" Sirius grinned at her and they went into her room.

**A/N: Thank you! Thank you! We aim to please. I won't post another chapter until someone reviews, so review! I'm seeking attention over here! HELLO?! ARG! Just click on the little button and make us happy and no one will get hurt... again. Maybe Jack for being a stupid fuckhead, but that's it.**

**Also, I know what you're thinking. We've already done this part, right? Well, I did explain it in the last chapter beginning A/N. Anyway, we will be replying to all of our other reviews in the next chapter. It's coming I promise. My computer is going completely psycho on me. I mean, just way too weird. Blech. So, I have to take it in to get it looked at. As a result this might take a while longer, sorry about the delay. Really. So, next chapter is coming soon (I hope) As for a hint at what goes on: They go to Messyrs Chop Chop (A fine wizarding Thai food restaurant) and see Lockhart. Hmmm... interesting. Stay with us, please! ï**


	3. Peanut Butter, Togas, and Work Ethics

**Horn-Head: Hello everyone! We're back! No! Don't run away! Damn, we did it again.**

**RosiPadfoot: We loose more reviewers that way.**

**Prof.Pendragon: We have reviewers?**

**RosiPadfoot: Yeah, a bunch!**

**Horn-head: Speaking of which, we should answer a few of them.**

**Blackcharityflint: Capt. Jack Morgan is based off of three things; Jack Sparrow, Captain Morgan (the rum... BUT WHY'S THE RUM GONE?!) and Bob. Bob is a random Vegas pirate and folk singer.**

**Hogwarts Poltergeist: We didn't mean to give off that impression entirely. Though Paige is supposed to be a fairly sexually liberated and independent young woman, Kate is experiencing a reaction to being so close to another werewolf. Paige will explain her theory on the matter to Sirius later in this chapter. We did notice that you didn't find a problem with the way Remus and Sirius were acting, though. So our response is women from Vegas are not loose, (Prof. Pendragon is a good example of that) but wizards from England are entirely too easy with their affections. **

**Sassafras, hiedi, and Speedy: Thank you so much, guys! We love to hear how much people like our work.**

Paige called her work and then flopped down on her bed and looked at Sirius. "So, do you want to make the rounds tonight or save business for when Remus will actually have his mind on it?"

Sirius sat down next to her and chuckled, "I don't think we'll ever get anything done, then."

Paige giggled and nudged him, "Well, in all fairness he isn't exactly alone in that, I think Kate's gonna explode sometime soon if she doesn't allow herself to like him."

Sirius shrugged. "I think that's how most werewolves are, you know? They're so afraid of hurting someone else that they never allow themselves to get close for that person's sake. Remus would never be selfish enough to forget who he is and just go for it."

Paige sighed, "Kate too. I swear, she had guys falling all over her in school and she never even noticed. It was funny then but now it's just getting annoying."

Sirius grinned and winked, "Is she the only one who doesn't notice when a guy likes her?"

Paige grinned and shook her head, "I've noticed, why do you think I kissed you in the living room? I would have just told her how to do it if I didn't want to kiss you."

Sirius grinned, "So you're saying that all of that was just to get a kiss?"

Paige rolled onto her stomach, "No, it definitely was for Kate. I would have done it eventually anyway, but she's kind of naive when it comes to guys because of the lycanthropy. However, I am well experienced with guys." Sirius chuckled softly and got up to look out the window for a while.

Paige was almost asleep when she felt the bed erupt with movement. Her eyes flew open and she saw a big black dog and a demon cat fly around the room. She jumped up and put Fido out the door and turned back to the dog, "Do you mind telling me what you are doing to my cat?"

Sirius transformed back into human form and grinned sheepishly. "It's a cat and I'm a dog. I was just having a little fun."

Paige glared at him for a second and frowned. "Whatever. Hey, are you getting hungry?"

Sirius shrugged, "I could eat. What do you have in mind?"

Paige frowned, "I dunno, peanut butter sandwiches?" Sirius nodded and Paige opened the door to go get some peanut butter.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kate and Remus watched Paige and Sirius retreat to Paige's room. Kate glanced down and remembered her current state of undress and transfigured her makeshift toga into a high collared blouse, long skirt, and a set of work robes. With another flick she put her hair in a severe braid and sat at one end of the couch. Remus sighed and sat on the opposite end.

Kate stared at her lap and began, "Mr. Lupin I am really, really sorry about before. I don't know what came over me, and I certainly don't want to use my... um, _our_ condition as an excuse. I am very sorry I tried to take advantage of and if I offended you in any way. I really was just trying to help and I just..." Kate's shoulders started to shake.

Remus slid down the couch and wrapped his arms around her. He held her and made small soothing circles on her back and whispered into her ear, "Shh, don't cry dear. There was no harm done. I should be the one apologizing I acted in a very unseemly manner." Kate gave a small hiccup as she tried to compose herself. He chuckled and held her closer and smelled her hair. They both muttered, "Sorry" as they backed away from each other. Paige walked through the room just then and gave them both a strange look on her way to the kitchen.

Remus ran his hand through his hair, "My, aren't we the pair? I think James and Lily would have never have let me live this down" He laughed causing his whole face to light up.

Kate smiled "James and Lily?"

Remus gave a sad smile, "Friends of ours," he gave a hand gesture that indicated Sirius and himself. "They died several years ago. "Lily was always teasing me that I should become the poster boy for proper British behavior." He laughed to himself, "She used to tease me about being too sensitive about these things." He then adopted a high pitched voice and continued, "Mr. Lupin, I do believe you would go so far as to send a missive requesting permission to request permission to kiss the hand of your date. And I am afraid that by the time you actually get around to making me a godmother, I will already be a grandmother twice over. "

Kate laughed, "I'm sure it's not that bad."

Remus smiled and returned to his normal voice, "I'm afraid Lils hit the nail right on the head. She would be doubled over in laughter if she saw me now."

Kate quirked a pixyish smile at the werewolf and extended her hand, "Miss Kathleen Gardener at your service, Sir."

Remus raised an eyebrow and extended his hand, "Professor Remus Lupin, it is a pleasure making your acquaintance madam."

Paige rolled her eyes as she crossed through the room carrying peanut butter and bread. "God Kate slow down. If you are already making introductions on the second day, he might think you are easy." she said as she closed the door to her room.

The pair collapsed in a fit of laughter. Kate looked up at Remus, "Perhaps she has a point, I wouldn't want you to get the wrong impression of me."

Remus wiped away the tears that formed in his eyes from laughing too hard, "Quite, I wouldn't want you thinking that you could just get me to take off my pants." He burst into thunderous laughter and fell to the floor. He continued to pant out between guffaws, "I do need you to respect me in the morning."

Kate rolled to the edge of the couch. She gazed down at Remus with a look that made him think he was going to melt. "I think I would respect you no matter what, Professor Lupin."

He stopped laughing and gave Kate a shy smile. Remus sat up and looked into Kate's eyes, swallowing hard he managed to get out a thank you. Kate brushed a few stray hairs out of his eyes, and shifted closer. Remus then leaned forward and kissed Kate with everything he was worth. Kate felt like she was going to faint or melt or faint _and_ melt, but whatever happened she didn't want him to stop. Kate kissed back and pulled Remus closer to her. Remus didn't know what had just come over him but he really did not want it to stop, and when he felt her respond he deepened the kiss and wrapped his arms around her.

The spell between the two was broken by the melodious bellowing of Jack. "Katie, get your bloody phone." Remus looked at Kate, her lips were bruised from his kissing and her hair was mussed. The one thing he failed to notice was the twinkle in her eyes. He quickly moved away from Kate and fled down the hallway.

Kate got up and answered her cell phone. "Hello." She paused and cursed to herself. "Yes, Mr. Lockhart. I did finish Shaun's case file and it should be on my desk." Kate kicked the table after hearing Lockhart's reply. "I will be there as soon as possible." She turned off the cell, and gave an exasperated sigh. As she walked down the hall, she gave a longing look to Remus's door but though better of it.

Kate went to her room and changed into a pair of jeans, Doc Martins, and an oversized man's dress shirt. Though what she was wearing would be acceptable, if the spell that kept turned the blanket into her current ensemble shifted things would be less than comfortable.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Paige came into the room with her findings and grinned. "They're being pretty weird out there. I think we'd better stay in here for quite a while." Sirius laughed and nodded.

He looked at what Paige had brought with her and frowned. "What? Just peanut butter? No jelly or anything?" Paige grinned wickedly at him and winked. She pulled a jar of honey out from a desk drawer and brought it over.

Sirius raised an eyebrow and grinned from ear to ear. "So, what would you be doing with a bottle of honey in you room?" Paige answered by putting her finger in the jar of peanut butter and then in the honey. She then sucked it all off while giving him a smoldering look and smiled.

Sirius felt his body temperature rise very suddenly and managed to croak out, "Ah. I see. Is this something you had planned or did you just make it up?"

Paige finished making the sandwiches and shrugged, "I don't know what you're talking about, Sirius. I was just hungry for a little honey.." Paige gave him an innocent smile and licked a bit of honey off her lips.

Sirius decided to wait for a while to make his move, he didn't want to seem too desperate. "So, what's with Kate and Remus? I've never seen him act that way around anyone before. I mean, he's always had this amazing control over his actions and stuff, you know?"

Paige smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean. Kate is the same way. Has Remus ever met a girl werewolf before?"

Sirius thought back and shook his head. "I don't think so. I wasn't around for about twelve years so I could be wrong. I'm pretty sure, however, that Kate's his first female werewolf encounter."

Paige nodded. "That makes sense. He's pretty much Kate's first male encounter. She has those boys at the center, but they're a little too young. She's an alpha, alphas don't get excited over adolescents. I'm just guessing, but I think Remus might be an alpha too."

Sirius shrugged. "I don't know, I never thought about it. Hey, how would you know?"

Paige swallowed and simply said, "That's my job. I'm a dark creatures specialist with emphasis on lycanthropy. Actually, I work closely with Kate in the social services department. It's an interesting job, to say the least." She smiled at him and took a bite of her food.

Sirius was impressed by her. She had to have gone through a lot of school for that. "Wow. I guess you really do know what you're talking about then, don't you?"

Paige smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I guess I do. I love my job. I get to help kids every day figure out how to deal with themselves and others. I protect them and make sure that they are safe. My kids are amazing to me because they have been through so much, you know? I mean, if I had gone through what some of these kids have... I don't know how I'd react, but I do know that I wouldn't be as sane and happy as they are."

Sirius watched the way she talked about her job, her face seemed to light up when she talked of "her kids" and they way they behaved. He liked seeing someone else who didn't buy into that nonsense of werewolves, while being dark creatures, always being dark wizards themselves. She amazed him with the different layers she seemed to have. In front of people she didn't know she was funny, witty and somewhat callused, but here when it was just the two of them she was openly caring and compassionate about people whom most wizards looked at with disdain and distrust. She was compelling to him in a way that he hadn't experienced in a long time.

He put his sandwich down and leaned over and kissed her softly. Paige gasped a little and then returned it.

Sirius pulled away reluctantly and smiled shyly at her. "You are amazing, Paige. Did you know that?"

Paige blushed a little and tucked a stray bunch of hair back behind her ear. "What do you mean?"

Sirius just laughed softly and shook his head. "You mean you don't know? Merlin, Paige! I've never met anyone like you, you're so passionate about people who most wizards hate! You're so different than I'd expect you to be."

Paige pulled away as if his words had stung, "What do you mean? Did you expect me to be some kind of whore just because I live in Vegas? Do you think I'm just some mindless slut?"

Sirius shook his head quickly, "No, no! Not at all! I just meant that my first impression of you wouldn't leave me thinking of you in this light! Oh, that doesn't work either. Um, well..." Sirius ran his hand through his hair and tried to think of a better way to voice his feelings. "Ah, I guess I'm just saying that you didn't seem the type to befriend a bunch of kids like this. You seemed more the type for a different job, like auror or a cocktail waitress. Not at all like I see you now when you talk of your 'kids', I like this side of you. You're very sweet and sexy."

Paige relaxed and stopped glaring at him. "Oh, ok. Well, then I'm sorry. It's just that people always assume that you have to be loose to live here. I hate that." She paused and looked up at him. "You think I'm sweet?"

Sirius nodded and smiled. "Yes I do. Not at all the way I expected our contacts here to turn out."

Paige laughed. "Oh? And how exactly did you expect us to be?" Sirius smiled looked down at her blanket. "Ah, for one thing I didn't expect you to be girls."

Paige laughed. "Hey! I'm not girl, I'm a woman!" she punched him in the arm playfully and he feigned hurt.

"Ouch. Okay, women! You are all women! Really, though, I expected men. Big, burly, unattractive men."

Paige giggled. "Well as you have seen, I am no man."

Sirius gave her a sly smile and responded, "How do I know that? I'm sorry, but you're going to have to show me proof. For all I know, you're just pretending."

Paige cocked her head to the side, "Well, then that's your problem. You can ask Kate or Rose, they've seen me completely naked before."

Sirius raised an eyebrow and cocked his head to the side, "They've seen you naked? When?"

Paige gave him a look that said, _of course_ and said, "Well, we're all female why wouldn't they?"

Sirius barked out a laugh and lay down on the bed. "I find that hard to believe. What about Kate? You've seen her naked?"

Paige looked confused. "Yeah, at least once a month."

Sirius was now fully amused. "Why would you see her naked once a month?"

Paige lay down next to him and gave him the look again, "How about because after she changes from a werewolf back to a human she's naked because all of her clothes are ripped off from transforming in the first place?"

Sirius felt pretty stupid, "Oh yeah. I forgot about that. Say, if you're an expert on lycanthropy, did you have to become an animagus?"

Paige nodded, "I transform into a mountain lion. It would be kind of impractical not to be an animagus, don't you think? And I really don't think of myself as an expert."

Sirius furrowed his brow, "Mountain Lion. That's a big cat, right?"

Paige nodded. "I turn into a Grimm myself."

Paige let out a short laugh. "That's terrible! What with all of the superstitions surrounding it, don't you ever feel weird about it?"

Sirius sighed, "Well, it does seem to fit into the pattern of my life. As for the superstitions, I don't know. Maybe they're true, maybe they're not."

Paige nodded and on impulse put her head on Sirius' chest and made a contented noise. Sirius laughed softly and looked down at her shiny red hair splayed across her face, "Comfortable?" Paige smiled, "Mmm hmm. Very comfortable. In fact I could probably fall asleep like this."

Sirius shook his head and smiled, "Well, by all means go ahead. It's been too long since I've had a beautiful woman fall asleep on me." Paige giggled and hugged him closer. Sirius stayed quiet so she would fall asleep and soon heard her breathing become deeper. He felt his own eyelids become heavy and drifted off to sleep.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kate entered the government building on 4th street, and waved to the janitor. Using her wand, she tapped out an intricate pattern on the door to the supply closet. The supply closet façade pulled back and revealed the door to her department. She walked down the cubicle-lined passage to her workspace, and promptly picked up Shaun's file that was lying on top of her out box. '_Bloody Lockhart!'_ she thought to herself.

As if she had summoned him, the man came down the hall. Lockhart was the office heartthrob, lusted after by the majority of witches in the office (co-workers and clients alike). Kate was one of the few witches not swayed by the supposed 'Lockhart charm'. She would freely admit that he was very pretty, not distinguished, just pretty. Disturbingly flawless one might say. He also was vapid, vain, self-centered, impatient, callous, and so ill-suited for his position that very few people doubted the rumors that his famous brother was the only reason he was made a senior caseworker in the department. Unfortunately, Kate was a junior caseworker at the moment.

Forcing a smile, Kate turned to Lockhart. "Good Afternoon, Percy. Here is that file you needed."

He flashed her a smile worthy of Witches Weekly. "Hello Kate. Thank you, sweetheart." Percy moved towards Kate, "It is inspiring how much time you put into the little monsters. Personally, I think they would probably make the world a better place as potion ingredients and pelts." He noticed Kate grimace at this, "But you are such a soft touch," he licked his lips, "it is quite attractive."

Trying hard to keep her calm, Kate forced another smile. "Thank you, Percy. I must be going, though. So have a lovely weekend."

"Of course," he purred. He leaned against her desk, and gave her a wolfish grin. "So what have you been up to?"

"Nothing much, we have friends visiting from out of town." She said, wiping all emotion from her face.

"Wonderful" he said with a patronizing laugh. "I'm sorry to have pulled you away from your guests."

"Think nothing of it, but I really need to get going. I will see you in a couple of days, Percy." Kate said as she moved around the annoying little man.

Percy caught Kate's arm as she moved away from her desk. "Why don't you blow off your guests tonight and go out with me?"

Kate turned, "We have already discussed this, Mr. Lockhart. I don't believe in workplace relationships." Percy stood up and faced Kate. He traced his finger down her cheek.

He let out an airy laugh, "Well then, perhaps we could just fuck? I am one of the most desirable wizards in Vegas."

Kate slapped his hand away. "As I said before Mr. Lockhart, I am not interested in pursuing this with you." She spun on her heal and started down the passage to the door.

Percy shouted "Stupefy" and Kate stumbled. "I think Kate, there has been a miscommunication" he chuckled. "I asked you a question. Why won't you go out with me?"

Kate pulled herself forward and stood up. "I have told you, Mr. Lockhart." Lockhart grabbed her arm.

He hissed in her ear, "Yes, I know, Ms. Gardener. But I don't buy it. You aren't attracted to me like every other chit in this office and I want to know why."

Kate just glared at him. He gave a wicked laugh "Is it just me? Or is it all men?"

"Mr. Lockhart, you are not my type. I am not your type, let's just forget this and move on."

But Percy didn't acknowledge her, "Or maybe you are just a 'good little witch'? Saving yourself for love, sweetie?" He pushed her against a cubicle wall and forced a bruising kiss on her. "Do you have any idea what you do to me? Always so caring, so controlled, so polite, so unattainable..."

Kate pushed Percy off her and ran to the door. She crossed the threshold into the hall. Percy shouted from the door, "Run now Kate, the chase makes it all the better." He moved to follow her but the threshold to the street burst into a wall of flame.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Paige and Sirius woke to Rose pounding on the door. Paige sat up and yelled, "What?"

Rose yelled back, "Kate's home and she's upset!"

Paige rolled her eyes and looked up at Sirius. "Hi."

Sirius smiled and yawned. "Hi yourself. Well, that was the most pleasant nap I have had in a long time."

Paige giggled and nodded. "Yeah, has anyone ever told you how comfortable you are?"

Sirius laughed, "Yes, but then it was James." Paige gave him a questioning look.

He answered it with, "It was one of the times we were in the shrieking shack with Moony during the full moon." Paige raised her eyebrows and nodded.

Sirius was about to explain further when Rose burst in, "Kate is upset. Get out of bed. NOW!" Paige grabbed a pillow off her bed and threw it as hard as she could at Rose. Rose ducked out of the way, as this happened to her just about every time she went into Paige's room, and it hit a lamp. The lamp tipped over and fell to the floor causing Paige to growl and jump out of bed.

"Get the fuck out of my room! I'll be out in a second, okay?" Rose pouted and went back into the kitchen to see to Kate and Paige turned back to Sirius, "She does that a lot."

Sirius sat up and swung his legs over the side, "Does what?"

Paige growled and responded, "Bursts into my room. I usually lock the door, but I guess I forgot to this time."

Sirius reached for her and responded, "Well, make sure to lock it from now on so she can't burst in when we're in a very compromising position."

Paige laughed, "Yeah, I can just see it now! Well, I don't think she'd burst in on us any more. Jack might, though."

Sirius laughed and shook his head, "Do you really think so?"

Paige shrugged and brushed her hair. "I gotta go see to Kate. You can sleep some more if you want to."

Sirius got up and shook his head, "Nope, I slept enough. Besides, it wouldn't be nearly as satisfying without you there to keep me warm." Paige shook her head and went out to find Kate.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kate apparated home and ran up the stairs into the apartment slamming the door behind her. She moved into the kitchen and started slamming ingredients for cookies down on the counter. Pulling out a slab of chocolate, she started breaking it apart with the handle from a bread knife.

Paige came out of her bedroom and turned to Kate, "What the fuck, Kate? Are you planning on waking the dead?"

"No Paige, I am making bloody cookies. So where the hell is the peanut butter?" Kate shouted.

Sirius looked between the pair, "I'll get it from your bedroom."

Kate glared at Paige. "What Paige you can't wait a full 48 hours before adding another notch to your belt?"

Paige pulled out her wand. "We made sandwiches. What the hell with wrong with you? Just because you aren't getting any doesn't mean..."

Before Paige could finish, Kate had gone to her room and slammed the door knocking the pictures down in the hall. Paige moved to go after her friend but Sirius stopped her.

"Let her calm down, it is something else." he said.

Remus heard the commotion in the hall and crept outside his room. He moved to Kate's door and tentatively knocked.

"Go away!!" She growled into her pillow. Remus opened the door and crossed to the bed. He pulled her into a hug. On Kate's part she did what any red-blooded American werewolf would do, she broke down and sobbed into his chest.

Ten minutes later, she had quieted down and they were just sitting there holding on to each other.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled as she sniffed.

Remus pulled her a little closer, "What happened?"

"I encountered a monster at work," she mumbled into his chest.

He laughed, "Isn't that the point of your work?"

Kate pulled away and playfully punched Remus in the arm. "Trust me, this monster was very much the human."

"You want me to have a discussion with him? In a few days, I will be very persuasive. Or at least I've been told that I can be very persuasive," he countered.

Kate laughed. "No, it's ok."

Remus sobered, "I'm sorry about before."

Kate gave a shy smile to the werewolf, "Don't be."

Shaking his head he continued, "No, I really am...I just seem to loose control when you're around." Kate giggled and Remus continued. "I'm serious."

Kate laughed. "I thought your friend was Sirius?"

He turned and swayed, nudging her with his shoulder. "Very funny! I've never heard that one before."

Kate got up and offered her hand to Remus. "Come on, I believe I need to apologize to Paige."

Kate crept into the living room where Paige was still fuming. Kate walked toward her and spoke in a small voice; "I'm really sorry Paige."

Paige shook her head, "For me being a slut or you being a psycho?"

Kate sighed. "I guess I deserved that. I'm really sorry for making a very foolish assumption and for getting angry with you for something that you didn't do. I just..." Kate turned away, her eyes brimming with tears again.

Paige sighed and shook her head, "It was him again, wasn't it?" Kate nodded and Paige growled. "What a stupid fuckhead! Let's just go to dinner and forget all about it." Kate smiled and they went to get everyone else.

**A/N: Wow. This was a long one! Thank you for sticking with us. More mayhem to come, we promise.**


	4. Messyrs Chop Chop

A/N: Hello, guys! It is I. I mean... It is US! That just doesn't sound right. No matter. This is the fabulous chapter 4, as if I really needed to tell you.

**I have to answer a few questions before they're asked. The waiter in this chapter is based on a real person, he works at a restaurant we frequent and we all think he's just too funny not to put in a story. We don't mean to get anyone mad at us or think we are putting him down in any way, we think he's great. I just wanted to get that clear before I go on.**

**The badger song that Jack (and occasionally Sirius) is humming comes from a very funny website. If you haven't already seen it, go to and find out what he's driving the girls crazy with.**

The band of friends arrived at Messrs. Chop Chop, a popular wizarding restaurant located near the Super Wal-Mart. Jack was still humming the badger song and every once in a while Sirius would accompany him when Paige wasn't looking.

They were seated at a round table near the front of the restaurant and Sirius and Remus looked at their surroundings appraisingly. Their waiter sashayed over to their table, his flaming red hair matching his personality and Paige ordered a round of Thai iced tea for everyone and the waiter soon returned with the drinks.

However, it didn't escape the girls' notice that Sirius' and Remus' glasses were quite a bit larger than theirs were and adorned with a variety of fruit. The waiter looked concerned as he turned to the British wizards, "I'm sorry, we're all out of cherries boys."

Remus replied, "Oh, that's fine, thank you."

Sirius piped up, "I don't like cherries anyway." The waiter smiled and winked at him. Sirius turned to Paige, "Do you think he has a tick?"

Paige suppressed a smile and responded, "I dunno."

Jack cleared his throat, "I would like to propose a toast. To new friends and old, as well as toast. And to my lovely Rose, who is the toast of the heavenly breakfast of my life!" With that they all clinked glasses and Rose turned to Paige.

She said, "You know, at least he's pretty and he means well. I don't always know what he means... but he means well." Paige snorted into her tea.

The waiter returned and refilled their drinks, and Kate ordered their food. The waiter turned to the two women and said, "You two make such a cute couple. Keep up the fight sisters!"

Paige shook her head unenthusiastically, and said, "You got it."

Remus looked at Paige and Kate, then he turned to Jack and asked, "A couple of what?"

Jack smiled widely and responded, "Just get me a copy of the video." Rose smacked him and he put his arms up to defend himself as he said, "I was just showing my whole-hearted support for whatever endeavors you two do!"

Paige glared at him and said, "It's what you're supporting us with that is the problem."

Remus blinked a couple of times and asked, "What is he supporting?"

Jack smirked, "Double decker tacos, mate. Double decker tacos."

"I like tacos." Sirius commented.

Paige burst out into a shrill giggle and gasped, "Well, you are the Tacoman."

This caused Jack to gasp and turn to Rose. "HE'S the Tacoman?! Do I have to obey him?"

Sirius perked up when he heard this and Rose shook her head. "No dear, you don't have to obey Sirius. even if he claims to be the Tacoman."

Sirius was taken aback. "I never claimed to be the Tacoman. It is a pet name from Paige. Now, if someone wants to obey me, I will gladly give them things to do."

Rose rolled her eyes and turned to Jack, "Honey, remember you're a pirate. Only robotic mongoose dogs have to obey the Tacoman."

Jack paused in his humming to reply, "Oh yeah." and then resumed the badger song once more.

Sirius turned to Paige, "Can you get those robotic mongoose dogs at Wal-Mart?"

Paige smirked and turned to Kate, "Would those be in hardware, pets, or electronics?" Kate choked on her tea and was saved from answering by the arrival of their food.

The waiter turned to Sirius after putting his tray down and asked, "So, how long have you two been together?"

Sirius smiled at the seemingly friendly question. "Oh, about 25 years now. We met in school."

The waiter looked impressed and exclaimed, "Wow! That's a long time!" Sirius smiled at Remus and patted him on the back. The waiter choked back tears as he ran to the kitchen muttering things like, "Beautiful!" and "Amazing!".

Paige turned to Sirius, "I thought you were straight?"

Sirius quirked an eyebrow, "I thought we were going to save the intimate details for later?"

Kate grimaced and put her hand over her eyes. "Sirius, do you realize that our waiter now believes that you two are romantically involved and have been for the past 25 years?"

Remus paled and scooted away from Sirius. The rest of dinner went without incident, outside of Sirius and Remus trying very hard not to touch each other.

Just as the waiter brought the check, however, Kate grimaced and dove under the table. Jack ducked under and said, "Are we playing hide and seek?"

Paige didn't notice what had caused Kate to duck under the table and exclaimed, "Kate! Don't you think that Remus could wait until we get home?" Kate punched her in the shin in response and Paige exclaimed "OW!" Unfortunately, this caught the attention of the man Kate had tried to avoid.

Percival Lockhart, the bane of Kate's professional life, swaggered over. "Well well well, what do we have here?"

Kate came up from under the table and said, "Found it! Oh, Percy, it's you."

Percy gave her his lounge lizard smile, "Why hello Kate. It's wonderful to see you on your knees."

Paige glared at him. "What do you want, Lockhart?" she spat.

Percy focused on Paige and a self-satisfied smile showed on his lips. His eyes glinted as he smirked and said, "My my, Paige. What's this, another one? How many does that make this month? Oh, if the people in the office could see this... but then I can always tell them can't I?"

Kate growled at the git, "Can we help you, Mr. Lockhart?"

Percy turned his gaze back to her and noticed Remus. "Well, Tartarus must have frozen over! The ice princess has a date as well! I guess we don't have to dip you in honey and throw you to the lesbians after all, Kate!"

Jack startled and sat up, "Let's not be too hasty here."

Percy sneered at Jack, "So, Morgan finally found himself something of quality. I'd like to have been the man to take the blossom from that rose!"

Jack stood up and pulled out his pistol, "Sod off, Lockhart!"

Percy smirked and moved to pull out his wand when he noticed that both Remus and Sirius already had their wands pointed at his heart. Sirius gave him a grim smile and spared a glance at Remus, "Heads or tails, mate?"

Remus ignored the comment and took a step towards Lockhart. Clearing his throat he said in a low growl "Sir, I do believe you owe these ladies an apology for your ungentlemanly behavior."

Lockhart guffawed evilly (which sounded rather like a disgruntled chicken) and responded "You call these ladies?" he pointed towards Kate, Rose, and Paige. "Do you realize who you are talking about?" Lockhart then quirked an eyebrow and turned to Kate. "Unless you define a lady as someone whose legs are frozen shut."

Kate muttered a few words under her breath and the can of sterno that was under the Tom Kha Gai exploded. This, in turn, caused Percy to wet himself. The fire alarm sounded and the restaurant emptied out into the street. The party left and returned to the girls' apartment.

The group of friends agreed to settle down to watch another movie. _This time, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves_ was on the docket.

While Kate, Paige, and Rose were preparing tea in the kitchen, Remus turned to Jack. "Who was that Lockhart git?"

Jack grimaced, "His name is Percival Lockhart, real bastard, he works with Kate and Paige. His brother got him the job before he went all wonky."

Remus continued "Why did he say those things about the girls?"

Jack sighed "Cause he's a bastard. They've all have turned him down, haven't they? Kate has the worst of it though. Good girl our Kate. Few people know about the whole" looking to the side Jack made, what he believed to be a wolf like grimace "Grrr.. thing. So she's good dating material out here. Won't give that git the time of day." He stopped talking when Rose entered the room.

Remus frowned, things just didn't click. He really wanted to beat the holy hell out of Lockhart. Remus shook his head, grateful that Jack, Sirius, and Rose were doing other things. He never had wanted to harm anything or anyone, well outside of Peter and Voldemort, in his entire life. _'What is wrong with me?' _he thought. He knew part of it was being a gentleman, ladies were not spoken to in such a manner; but there was something else, he was angry that Lockhart had an interest in Kate, and he was enraged that the git would even think of her in a sexual manner. True, she was lovely. True, he wouldn't mind getting her out of her trousers. _'Damn it, where the hell did that come from?' _he thought. He looked up to see Kate enter the room, her eyes were red from crying and her hair was escaping its braid, framing her face in ringlets. She blew the offending hair out of her eyes, and smiled at him as she looked up from the tea tray. _'Gods, she's pretty.'_ he thought. He just needed to hold her. He was so proud of her for not accepting a lesser creature like Lockhart. He was very proud of his Kate. "Where the fuck did that come from?" he shouted.

Rose looked up, confused. "Cost Plus, they're just short bread cookies."

Jack shrugged at the werewolf as he took the tin Rose had just offered to Remus and proceeded to see how many shortbread biscuits he could shove into his mouth all at once while humming the badger song. The result of this was a shower of crumbs and a swift kick in the shins from Paige as she put the movie into the player.

Remus refocused his attention on the TV Sirius and Paige exchanged a glance as they both noticed that Remus and Kate sat on opposite sides of the room. Ten minutes into the movie Jack announced his boredom and went into Rose's room.

Two hours later Sirius whispered to Paige, "Robin and Azeem are like Harry and Ron."

Remus overheard and gave a sad smile "Harry was thrust into a world, where he has to deal with too much death like Robin but at least he has Ron and Hermione."

Sirius smiled "Of course he does, and Hermione is that Maid Marian."

The friends laughed and Jack came back into room. "What's so funny?" the pirate asked.

Sirius gave a proud grin, "Just talking about Robin and Azeem."

Jack laughed, "Yes, they do fancy each other, don't they?" Sirius and Remus blanched, which Jack took as them not taking his meaning so he continued. "They're ginger, batting for the other team, have a little Greek in them..." Jack was cut off by Sirius's hands closing around his neck.

"My godson is not gay." the animagus growled.

Jack choked out "Azeem's your godson? Funny you don't look Moorish." Sirius started banging Jack's head against the coffee table. Remus tried to pull him off while Kate, Rose, and Paige looked on in mild bemusement. Sirius finally dropped Jack as a knock sounded at the door.

Jack hit the floor with a thud as Sirius and Remus scrambled to hide. Sirius hissed to Paige, "If anyone should happen to ask, we're not here!" as he ducked into the kitchen.

Paige went to the door and looked through the peephole. She gasped and turned to Kate, "Dude, Kate! I think Alan Rickman's at our door!"

Kate looked at her friend in wonder. She turned to Rose and hit her, "You didn't put wormwood in her tea, did you?"

Rose looked at her indignantly and huffed, "No, I didn't. Not this time, anyway."

Paige rolled her eyes and opened the door cautiously. "Can I help you?" she asked the dour-faced man standing on the other side.

He looked her up and down and nodded. "I certainly hope so. I'm looking for two men."

Paige smirked and looked at him in amusement. "Just any two?"

He sneered at her and responded, "Quite. I'm looking for two Englishmen. One is boorish and arrogant, and the other is an insepantly nice, weak willed fool. I was told that they would be staying here."

Paige's eyes hardened and she smiled. "I'm sorry, sir. There is no one fitting that description here."

Jack came to and burst into the conversation. "I know you!" the pirate exclaimed. Snape quirked an eyebrow at him and he continued. "I had you for first year potions."

Snape straightened and nodded. "Yes, I am Snape the potions master." He stared at Jack and a memory crept back to him. "As I recall, you started the fires."

Jack beamed. "You remember! At least I made them better."

Snape sneered, "You made them worse, you dunderhead!"

Jack gave him his best smile, "Do you mean worse, or better...?"

Snape rolled his eyes. "Worse, you made them worse you moronic boob."

Jack shrugged and replied, "If you say so." And walked back to the couch humming the badger song.

Paige gave him a puzzled look. "Ok, well if that's all?" Snape tried to look around Paige into the apartment and Paige stepped into his way. "Do I need to call security?"

Snape moved to say something but Kate called out from the kitchen, cutting him off. "I have the front desk on the line, is everything alright?"

Snape looked at Paige. "No, I will tell Dumbledore that he was mistaken."

Rose perked up and a big smile spread across her face. "Dumbledore? I know Dumbledore. He sent me a letter the other day. Did you know that his brother has a thing for goats?"

Paige's eyes went wide and she gave Snape a fake smile. "Could you excuse us for a moment? Thank you." She closed the door without waiting for an answer and rounded on Rose. What the fuck Rose? Goats?! A possible deatheater shows up on our doorstep and you start spouting off about GOATS?!"

In the kitchen Remus put a hand over Sirius's mouth as he started laughing. Just as Paige opened the door, however, Sirius couldn't breathe through Remus's hand so he bit it. Sirius convulsed into loud laughter again about the goats, which carried out to Snape.

Snape's eyes narrowed and his lip curled. "Only one man has a laugh like that."

Paige glared at him and spat back, "Who would that be?"

Snape gave Paige a look that would have rivaled a gorgon's stare and responded, "Sirius Black."

Paige gave him a withering stare and took a step forward. "Oh really? And what business would you have with this man?" she inquired as she fingered her wand.

Remus stepped out of the kitchen to try and diffuse the situation and Sirius came out reluctantly after him. Remus tapped Paige on the shoulder. "It's alright. Dumbledore probably sent him." Paige stood aside and motioned for him to come in.

Sirius growled, "What do you want, Snivellus?"

Snape looked at him with the utmost loathing and said, "Dumbledore sent me to see why you two haven't recruited anyone yet. I can see the answer standing right next to you." He indicated Paige with a dismissive wave of his hand and continued, "You can have fun with your little harlot here and I'll do all of the work. It will be just like back in England."

Kate stepped forward, her eyes darkening with anger. "Where's your letter?" she demanded.

Snape glared at her. "What letter?"

She circled him and responded, "The letter from Albus telling us not to kill you right where you stand."

Paige spoke up. "Oh, let's not kill him, you can only kill a person once." Her hands were balled into fists and her jaw was clenched.

Snape glanced over at her and noticed that Sirius was red-faced and shaky. "Care to duel, Black? Or are you too afraid now that you don't have your precious Potter to back you up?"

Remus quickly stepped in between the two advancing wizards and they stopped. "That's enough! Now, if you two want to curse each other senseless when we get back home, go ahead. Right now it is neither the time nor the place."

Paige turned to Sirius and patted his shoulder. "Go cool down in my room, okay?" Sirius started to protest but Paige held up a hand. "That wasn't a request, just go." Sirius growled and turned toward the hall.

Snape smirked, "Pussy whipped, Black?"

Sirius rounded on him and Paige shoved him into the hall. She turned to Snape and advanced. "Where the hell do you get off coming into our house, insulting my friends and calling me a harlot?" she shouted.

Remus tried to diffuse the situation once again and spoke calmly, "Severus, I think it would be best if you leave."

Snape sneered at Paige. "I am terribly sorry, Madame. I did forget that Black could just as easily have used the whores back home. And Lupin, well he can't even afford a whore, can he?"

Both Kate and Paige rushed at Snape and slammed him against the door. Kate ripped Snape's cloak open and shoved his sleeve aside, revealing the Dark Lord's mark upon his left forearm. Jack aimed his gun at Snape and cocked it. He smiled when he noticed for once, none of his roommates minded.

Kate glared at the wizard and said, "Funny, you don't have a letter but you do have a dark mark. And for some reason you are trying to provoke Mr. Black and Professor Lupin. Do you want to explain now, or should we just the remains to Dumbledore: or would you prefer them sent to Lord 'I'm a mass-murdering fuckhead' Voldemort?"

Jack piped up, "Can I shoot him? I wanna shoot him!"

Paige shook her head and pushed Snape out of the door, he was visibly shaken. "Come back when you have a letter and can keep a civil tongue in your damned mouth." she snarled as she slammed the door.

A/N: Hello again! Did you like the chapter? If you did, review and tell us so R&R!!! Also thank you to Invader Zim and Potter Puppet Pals for providing inspiration. And thank you to Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves for providing a movie to replace LOTR.


	5. It's Like Talking to a Wall

**Warnings, disclaimers, and other points to ponder: First off, we do not own anything. We are simply borrowing J.K. Rowling's lovingly crafted characters for our own amusement, entertainment, excuse to take up a booth at Denny's for 4 hours twice a week, etc. **

**Secondly, transitions between scenes in temporal and physical space are denoted by a line of x's in an attempt to make the flow a little less confusing. If it works, it will be implemented in the earlier chapters when we do our tertiary beta sweep. If it doesn't work, we will just have to go back to Denny's to come up with a new plan for world domination. Coughs I mean, format continuity. Yes, we will have to come up with a new plan for format continuity.**

**And finally, keep in mind this is a bit of an experiment in group writing. Each member of the group was assigned a set of characters and writes the actions and dialogue for those characters. Group interactions and dynamics are usually hashed out over instant messenger or at Denny's over vast quantities of coffee with some actions being dictated by either the flip of a coin or a dice roll. The cool part is it is a good mechanism to prevent the dread Mary Sue phenomena and it creates a good deal of wriggle room for character development overtime. The downside is it gets a little hairy with two to three people writing at any given time and shifts in style are sometimes very apparent. So that being said I hope you enjoy our latest venture and you will hear from me (or at least read from me) on the other side of this tale. **

Paige muttered something under her breath and headed back to her room. When she entered, she saw Sirius pacing back and forth. She closed the door quietly and locked it. "Are you okay?" she asked him.

Sirius nodded and blew out a breath of air. "Fine. Just fine. Perfectly fine." He huffed. He swiftly turned on his heel and began pacing in the other direction. "What a prat, huh? What a stupid, ignorant PRAT!" He kicked a stool and sent it flying into Paige's bed. Paige winced and whispered a temporary silencing spell on her room. She then went over and picked up the stool, putting it back where it belonged.

"Sirius," she said in her most soothing voice, "it's ok. Don't even think about him. He's just an arrogant prick that was trying to get to you."

Paige sank into her bed and Sirius went back to pacing. He shook his head and growled, then composed himself. "It's not that easy, Paige. He said some horrible things to me tonight. Mentioning James was over the top even for that greasy-haired slime ball!"

Paige nodded and patted the bed next to her, suggesting that he sit down. "So, how do you know him?"

Sirius sat down on the bed and leaned back on his elbows. "Well, James and I made his life a bit harsh when we went to school together. Actually, we made his life a living hell is more like it. I'm not proud of what we did to him, but now I wish for just one more shot at him, you know?"

Paige let out a short laugh and nodded. "So the little school boy fight continues? How childish."

Sirius sat up. "Don't judge me like that! He continues it by tormenting Harry! Harry hasn't done anything to deserve this and Snape just picks on him incessantly! Harry is innocent and Snape knows it! He would keep doing everything he's doing whether or not I stopped, just because he can bother me by doing it." He yelled.

Paige's eyes went wide and she backed away a little. "Alright! I'm sorry! Well, you'll be happy to know that Kate and I attacked him and threw him out."

Sirius smirked and said, "Yes, that does make me happy." Paige laughed and moved over next to him again. Sirius looked at her for a second, placed an arm around her waist and pulled her closer.

Paige giggled and looked at the clock. "Oh my gosh! It's getting pretty late and I have a tennis game with one of my kids in the morning. I'd better get to bed." Sirius nodded and got up to go. Paige put her hand on his arm. "You can sleep in here tonight if you want, I won't mind."

Sirius grinned and winked. "I think I'll do that. Do I need to go get my pajama bottoms?"

Paige shrugged. "I don't care. Do what you want, but I'm going to go change." She walked into her closet and closed the door. Sirius smiled to himself and went to get changed. He came back in and froze when he saw Paige. She was wearing a cream colored silk gown that barely skimmed the top of her thighs. She was gorgeous.

Paige giggled and climbed into bed. "Well Sirius, are you going to gape at me all night or are you going to come to bed and let me get to sleep?" Sirius remembered himself and smiled warmly.

He climbed in next to her and propped himself up on his hand. "Just admiring a work of art." He leaned over and kissed Paige longingly and she put her arms around his neck. Sirius deepened the kiss as Paige pressed her body into his. He let out a soft moan.

Paige then broke the kiss and chided, "Sirius, you're going to keep me awake all night if we keep this up! I have a game tomorrow and then I have to work with Percy. You don't want me to be exhausted for that, do you?"

Sirius rubbed her stomach with his hand and gave her a lop-sided grin. "That depends on the reason, honey." Paige chuckled and pushed him onto his back. She sighed, nuzzling against his neck she made a little happy noise. Sirius chuckled softly and flicked his wand at the light switch, sending the room into darkness. He then put his wand on the table next to his side of the bed and wrapped his arms around Paige and promptly fell asleep.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

While Paige was sorting out Sirius in her bedroom, Remus moved closer to Kate in the living room. He quirked a smile at her, "Mass murdering fuckhead?", he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Kate blushed, "My family isn't too fond of Voldemort."

"Really? I would have never guessed." Remus chuckled.

Kate gently shoved Remus's arm, "I have a tendency to go overboard on the alliteration from time to time."

Remus placed his hand under Kate's chin and gently lifted it so she was gazing into his eyes. "I would never doubt for a moment that you are very clever." he whispered as he leaned forward and placed his forehead against hers. Kate blushed an even deeper shade of crimson and tried to turn her head away from him. He let out a small sigh and wrapped his arms around her. "So you are willing to challenge one of the most powerful wizards in England, but you refuse tell Lockhart to sod off?"

Kate mumbled into Remus's chest, "Um. I guess so..."

Remus pulled her closer, "You are so sweet." He purred as he kissed the top of her head. "And you even fluster more readily than I do." Kate glared up at him and growled. Remus gazed down at her adoringly and laughed harder.

Kate mumbled her response into Remus's chest.

"What was that, love?" he asked.

Kate pulled away from him a little and cleared her throat. She whispered, "He was threatening the ones I care deeply for. And I couldn't leave them or their honor..."

"Unprotected" he said finishing her sentence.

Remus tightened his hold around Kate. "Care deeply for, huh?" Kate tried to pull away but he didn't relinquish his grip around her. "I care deeply for you as well, though things seem to be moving..."

Kate continued his thought and added, "Very quickly."

Remus smiled and nodded. "That would be the gist of it." He continued with a sad smile, "Though I wish I had half the courage you do."

Kate laughed, "You mean stupidity?"

Remus kissed Kate's forehead, "No, I mean courage." He then tilted Kate's head up and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. Kate tilted her head back down. She giggled and proceeded to nuzzle and nip at his neck causing Remus to let out a small moan. Kate pushed him back and grabbed his hand. She turned and started pulling him down the hall to her room. Remus blushed and gave her a perplexed look. Kate smiled, "I promise not to ravish you, but if you keep making me weak at the knees I'm afraid I'll wind up on the floor."

Remus gave her a roguish grin, "We can't have that." He said and then followed her into the bedroom and settled in next to her on the bed without further complaint.

Remus and Kate fell into a comfortable silence. Kate seemed to be lost in her own thoughts, and Remus was busy soaking up the details of the room. He shifted in the bed sinking deeper into the feather mattress and quilts. Kate smiled at him from the far edge of the bed, "Sorry, it's more of a nest than a proper bed."

He grinned at her, "Good, it is far more comfortable that way."

She laughed at him and then gave a small pout. "Well, I'm sorry to say this then."

"Yes?" Remus replied.

Kate grinned sheepishly, "I forgot to ward the front door so I need to get up." He rolled off the bed and followed Kate to the front room. She lifted her wand and was about to start setting the various wards and locking spells when they heard a light knock on the door.

Remus looked through the peephole onto the front porch. He turned to Kate, "I'll handle this." He opened the door and stepped outside closing the door behind him.

Snape was on the doorstep. "Lupin" he snarled.

Remus grimaced and said, "Severus".

Snape glared at the werewolf. "Let me in you miserable half-breed!"

Remus took a step forward so he was nose to nose with Snape, "Has Albus given you a letter yet?"

Snape snarled and spat out, "No! I don't have a letter from that old fool. If you think that harlot and her over zealous bodyguard cu.." He was cut off by the shear force of Remus's fist connecting with his jaw. Snape stumbled backwards down the stairs and landed a flight below with a resounding thud.

Remus let out a menacing, low growl at the potions master. "Come back when you have a letter or not at all. And if I hear you say another thing about any of the young ladies that live in this apartment, I will personally take it upon myself to finish the job Sirius started twenty years ago. You miserable, sniveling, little git! Now go back to England and do what you do best, or is Lucius busy tonight?" Remus turned on his heel and went back into the apartment slamming the door behind him.

Kate looked at the very enraged werewolf before her. "Is everything alright?"

Remus snorted and then looked at Kate. He gave her a wane smile "Yes, I just had to put something in its place."

Kate wrapped her arms around Remus, "Thank you."

He bowed his head and smiled into her neck as he whispered, "Don't mention it." Kate took his hand and pulled him back to the bedroom after setting the wards for the night.

Remus lounged on Kate's bed as she shut the door. Turning towards the bed, Kate started unbuttoning her jeans.

Remus flustered, "Kate! What are you doing?"

Kate laughed, "These aren't comfortable to sleep in." She continued as she finished pulling her pants off and started removing her bra from under her shirt. "I trust you, Remus."

Remus swallowed hard. "Awfully trusting aren't you?", he stammered as she moved towards the bed.

Kate giggled, "Yes." She then pushed Remus over so she could crawl into bed and under the covers. "Get comfortable." Kate raised her wand in her right hand mimicking a wizard's oath, "As I said before, I solemnly swear not to ravish you."

Remus kicked off his shoes and removed his shirt. "I see. So does that mean I can ravish you then?" he said with a twinkle in his eyes. Kate just yawned and curled deeper under the covers. "Is that a yes?" Remus asked hopefully.

Kate gave a sleepy sigh as Remus joined her under the blankets. "It's an 'I trust you'." She answered then kissed him on the cheek and placed her head on his chest.

Gathering her in his arms, Remus smiled to himself as Kate nodded off. "Good" was all he said as he flicked his wand turning off the lights.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A few hours later, Paige woke suddenly with one thought screaming in her head. _Did Kate take her wolfsbane?_ She scrambled out of bed and walked over to the door.

"Whatcha doin'?" Sirius mumbled behind her. Paige jumped, she'd forgotten he was in her room.

She willed her heart to slow down and responded, "I'm checking on Kate." Then walked into the hall.

She knocked softly on Kate's door so as not to rouse anyone else... no answer. She knocked a little louder.... still no answer. Paige bit her lip and opened the door. She walked in and whispered, "I'm sorry to wake you, Kate. Did you take your wolfsbane?" She walked forward and stubbed her toe on something. She hissed and almost cursed out loud. _Merlin, it's dark in here!,_ she thought. She cautiously made her way over to the light and flipped it on. Paige was in no way ready for the sight that met her eyes. Kate, good, reliable, dependable Kate had a man in her bed, one whom she'd only known for two days. Paige stopped herself from laughing and watched as Kate sat up and rubbed her eyes.

Kate hissed at her, "Turn off the light!" Paige complied and couldn't help but giggle while Kate dragged her out into the hall.

Paige looked at her friend with eyes full of mirth. "Sorry to interrupt. I was just wondering if you two had remembered to take your potions tonight."

Kate gasped. "Damn, I forgot." She whispered.

Paige smirked as Kate ran down the hall and began warming the potion in the kitchen. Paige sighed and followed after her into the kitchen. "Having a bit too much fun, are we?"

Kate blushed and then glared at her friend. "We were just sleeping."

Paige shook her head. "I'll bet."

Kate lightly smacked her friend on the arm. "We just slept, honest."

Paige looked unconvinced. "Uh huh, well the next time you might want to save the little love pats for Remus. I hear werewolves like it rough."

Kate glared at Paige and quickly poured the potion into two coffee cups. "Oh grow up, Paige. My door wasn't warded, if anything had happened you would have heard something."

Paige turned red trying to contain her laughter and gasped out, "Yeah, two yips and a woof."

Kate rolled her eyes and headed down the hall, unwilling to encourage her friend. Paige followed and put her hands on her hips. "Oh come on! I KNOW you thought that was funny!", she said in an accusing tone.

Kate turned to Paige and stuck out her tongue. Paige smirked and said, "Be careful young lady, I don't know where that tongue has been." Then she walked into her room before Kate could respond.

Paige gratefully crawled back into her warm bed and Sirius's arms. He kissed her forehead. "Is everything alright?", he inquired.

Paige sighed contentedly and nodded. "Everything is fine, I just had to make sure Kate took her potion."

Sirius nodded then thought of Remus and started to get up but Paige pushed him back down. "Don't worry, he's all taken care of."

Sirius quirked an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Paige giggled. "He's 'sleeping' in Kate's room." Sirius gave her a disbelieving look for a second and then let out a great barking laugh before Paige could stifle it with a kiss.

"Stop that! You'll wake Jack and Rose!" Sirius remembered himself and calmed down.

He suddenly got the urge to kiss Paige and pulled her up to his mouth. He brought his lips to hers and gave her a soft kiss which Paige returned. Sirius took this as a sign to continue and ran his fingers through her hair. Paige then ran her hands over his back and Sirius broke the kiss to move down her jaw onto her neck. Paige pulled away. "Sirius, I have to work tomorrow, with Lockhart of all people, I need to sleep."

Sirius nodded, disappointment showing on his face. Paige pouted underneath him and stroked his cheek. "You don't want me tired when I deal with Lockhart, do you? I need to be at my best."

Sirius winked and hugged her to him. He gave her his best smile and biggest puppy dog eyes.

Paige giggled and sighed. "I want to, too. How about we continue this tomorrow night, hmm? We can turn in early and take all the time we want."

Sirius smiled at her and forgot that they didn't have a silencing spell on the room anymore and yelled. "Yippee!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kate sighed as Paige closed the door to her room. Kate entered her room and closed the door behind her. She set the potion down on her dresser and lit a couple of candles next to it.

She crossed to the bed and gently shook Remus. He simply rolled over and snuggled deeper into the bed. Kate sat down next to him and gently kissed him on the cheek. His eyes fluttered open and Kate smiled down at him. "Hello Sleeping Beauty, potion time."

Remus bolted straight up knocking Kate on her side. "Damn it! I forgot", he exclaimed.

She laughed pushing herself up and crossing to the dresser. "Not to worry." She returned with his potion and after handing it to him, she raised her cup. "Cheers" she whispered with a wink, right before taking a large gulp of the foul concoction. Remus laughed at the face she gave him.

Right on cue, they heard a bark of laughter from the room next door. Remus smiled "Looks like he thinks it is humorous as well." Kate laughed and they finished their potions. She placed the mugs on the dresser and blew out the candles before returning to bed.

Remus moved so she could climb in and quickly wrapped her in a warm embrace. He let out a contented sigh and started to settle back to sleep. He looked at Kate nestled in his arms "What was that about?", he asked as he nuzzled her neck.

Kate giggled "Paige came in to remind me about my potion." She gave a small yawn as she continued, "I guess she just told Sirius."

Again right on cue the couple heard Sirius exclaim "Yippee!!" from the next room.

Kate and Remus busted into gales of laughter. Through the tears that were forming in his eyes Remus exclaimed, "Remember Sirius, discretion is the better part of valor and gentlemen use silencing spells."

Just then Jack emerged from Rose's room and shouted "Ride'm Cowboy"

into the hallway. He then returned to Rose's room, slamming the door behind him.

Kate and Remus howled with laughter. In fact, Kate was laughing so hard she started to make whimpering noises.

Paige yelled from the other room, "Wow Remus!! I haven't heard Kate make those noises before." She laughed so hard at her comment, she fell off the bed dragging Sirius with her.

Sirius exclaimed, "Paige, I didn't know you were so strong!"

Kate stifled her laughter long enough to call to Paige, "Remember two yips and a woof!"

Paige yelled back, "No Kate! That was two yips and a wolf. Or should that be two wolves and a yip?" She then climbed back into bed with Sirius.

Kate was laughing so hard she could hardly breathe. An evil gleam appeared in Remus's eyes and he began to tickle Kate without mercy. As Kate tried to push Remus off, she exclaimed, "Gods Remus!" between gasps for air.

Sirius yelled at the wall between barks of laughter "Remember Remus, a gentleman always lets the lady come first."

Remus paused for a moment. "Don't you mean go, Sirius?"

Sirius barked out laughter yet again. "Not if you are doing right."

In an attempt to hide his embarrassment, Remus buried his face into the pillows.

Kate on the other hand was not backing down. "Okay Sirius, I will just ask Paige how much of a gentleman you were in the morning." She nuzzled closer to Remus.

Paige replied from the other room, "Just so you know Kate, I spiked the tea with Viagra."

Sirius smiled at Paige and yelled "Silencio!" With that done, he pulled Paige close and smirked. "What's Viagra?", he asked.

Paige giggled again and bit her lip. "Um, it's sort of an aphrodisiac used by muggles. Basically it makes your blood pump really fast which causes men to get erections."

Sirius's mouth fell open and then curled into a smile. "You didn't!"

Paige grinned. "No, I didn't. Kate doesn't know that, though."

Sirius chuckled softly and said in a low voice, "You are positively evil some times, you know that?" He started nibbling on her ear and Paige sighed.

"Yes I am, but only to my friends and most trusted confidants." She said. Paige turned around so that she was facing away from him and stroked his hand. "Sirius, who is James? I've heard you talk about him but you haven't told me who he is."

Sirius sighed heavily and thought for a minute before replying. "He was my best friend in all the world, my brother. Fifteen years ago, Voldemort murdered him and his wife, Lily. Their son is my godson, Harry."

Paige sobered and nodded. "Oh, I don't want to bring up bad memories. You don't have to talk about it any more if you don't want to."

Sirius cringed, he had to tell her about Azkaban sometime and now seemed as good as any. He didn't want to loose her, though. He wanted to be selfish and ignore the issue completely. His conscience got the better of him and he closed his eyes, afraid of her reaction and said, "Paige, I've got to tell you something. Before I do, just know that I'm innocent and that I would never do anything like this, alright?" Paige nodded. "I was sent to Azkaban for their murders." Paige sat up and started to pull away and Sirius added, "I didn't do it! I was framed."

Paige relaxed a bit, but still kept a guarded look on her face. "Why do they think you did it and how on earth did you escape?"

Sirius ran his fingers through his hair. "I was to be their secret keeper and I convinced James to change to Peter. No one knew about the switch except for me, Peter and James so it made perfect sense to everyone else that I was the one who did it."

Paige noticed how sorrowful he looked and decided to talk to Remus about it later rather than bring it up again for Sirius. "Oh, I'm sorry Sirius. I didn't mean to bring up horrible memories for you. You don't have to tell me any more, ok?" She snuggled up next to him again and hugged him, making Sirius feel completely happy and content.

"It's just as well, I wanted to tell you about that anyway. I wasn't sure how to bring it up, though. As Order members, you three have a right to know and now you know how important it is for me to keep a low profile."

Paige nodded and smiled up at him. "Yeah, I'll tell you to go down whenever a cop walks by."

Sirius looked at her in confusion. "Don't you mean get down?"

Paige smiled wickedly and shook her head. "No, I definitely mean go down."

Understanding dawned on Sirius and he barked out a laugh. "By all means love, tell me that any time. Now, on to previous business, I wanted to tell you about Azkaban before. I really did, but it's hard to say something like that when it could mean the end of such a perfect friendship."

Paige bit her lip pensively and asked, "Friendship? You only consider me a friend?"

Sirius looked into her eyes, "Yes. I consider you a friend. No relationship, romantic or otherwise, can be healthy without a friendship being involved."

Paige closed her eyes and yawned. "That's a nice way to think. In that case, I'm happy to consider you a friend."

Sirius smiled and stroked her hair, marveling in it's softness. Soon enough he heard her breath getting deeper and more rhythmical as she drifted off to sleep. He laughed softly at the way the woman in his arms responded to him and the way he responded back. If only James were around to see Sirius Black getting pushed around by a woman and then sleeping with her later that night, he'd laugh.

Not for the first time and certainly not for the last, Sirius fell asleep mourning the loss of the dearest friend he could ever hope for.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After a few minutes of silence from the other room, Remus muttered "Silencio", and pulled Kate closer. "So what is Viagra?", he asked nonchalantly as he drew lazy circles on her arm.

"It is an aphrodisiac used by muggles", she replied. Remus's body stiffened. "Don't worry yourself, it would have taken effect and worn off by now." she added.

He relaxed and gently kissed the tip of her ear. "So what does it do?"

Kate gave a nervous laugh as her mind finally acknowledged that Remus had kept her from lying against his lower body most of the night. "It increases blood pressure and causes an erection." She stammered on, "It doesn't have too high of an impact on desire, it is mainly used to enable or enhance performance."

Half listening, he ran his finger tips down Kate's neck and traced her collar bones. "No need to worry about that", he mumbled to himself as he began to place feathery kisses down her neck following the trail his finger tips had blazed moments before. Much to Kate's dismay, his sensual topography exercise screeched to a complete stop as his brain finally fully absorbed the effect of Viagra and his attention was drawn to an extreme tightness in his trousers.

Kate gave him a shy smile. "Would you rather sleep in the guest room?"

Remus thought for a moment. "No." He finally answered and then blurted out. "Though I should probably warn you that I have been having to concentrate on Albus Dumbledore naked on a cold day just to keep some sense of control since Rose vanished your clothes." Kate burst out in a fit of giggles causing feign indignation. "So what is so funny about that, Miss Gardener?"

Kate nuzzled his chest and placed a kiss over his heart. "It's not too funny actually. I'm just glad I'm not the only fighting to maintain control of baser instincts." She paused for a moment. "Good night, Remus."

Remus closed his eyes. "Good night, Kate."

**A/N: Good night, John boy. Clears throat I mean we have reached the conclusion of the ever exciting chapter 5. Thank you for taking the time to read the adventures of Remus and Sirius in fabulous Las Vegas. **

**Please stay tuned for the next titillating and exotic installment...Phone rings....The lawyer says it's not quite titillating and exotic but it is better than getting a data beam in the squigglyspooch. And it will feature many things, such as eruptors, the mysterious organization known as "la prima generazione", and clues as to the origin of Jack. **

**As always, thank you to our reviewers (past, present and future), we appreciate the feedback. Some of us live for all of it, others of us live for the good stuff, while still others of us are just happy the guys in the white coats haven't shown up yet. **

**And thank you to our various forms of inspiration including Eddie Izzard, Potter Puppet Pals, , the Young Ones, Benny Hill, Monty Python, the Bagenders, Sponge Bob Square Pants, Invader Zim, and many others. Please don't sue. Prof. Pendragon. **


	6. Sirius Black? Orion Evans? Jack Morgan? ...

**Warnings, disclaimers, points to ponder: Angsty/dark topic alert. We are now straddling the line between fluffy/dark in Fab Las Vegas boys and girls, so be forewarned. Also as always this story is a little on the racy side, so cover your eyes if you are excessively easily offended by extremely mild smut. **

**As always, J. K. Rowling must love us for she created Remus and Sirius for us to play with. She owns everything, and the poor college students that write this serial own nothing. sob**

Kate awoke the next morning and gazed at the ceiling. She gave a contented sigh; she felt refreshed, well rested, and pinned. She glanced down at her chest and saw a light brown head threaded with silver. Kate chuckled to herself, _thank goodness he is only a couple of inches taller then me otherwise he'd be half off the bed, _she thought. Remus shifted in his sleep and nuzzled against her breasts. She could feel him smile against her. Kate stifled a giggle as he unconsciously stroked her hip in his sleep.

Kate smiled, _He is so handsome_, she thought. Running her fingers through his hair and continued her train of thought, _so gentle, so kind, so good. He could be my..._but the reality of whom and what she was came crashing down. _Don't get too attached Katie. He's too good for you; he only knows half of what you are. _She scolded herself. _He probably has a lovely creature waiting for him in England, a beauty from a good family that hasn't dirty her hands in your world. You're just another old werewolf with a questionable background, who cleans up to be plain at best. The last thing he needs is someone like you. _Kate stiffened under Remus, and moved to shimmy out from under him.

He rolled over on his side facing her chest as Kate rolled backwards; he wrapped her in a hug and pulled her closer. "Stay", he mumbled. She struggled to move again, and he continued "Please, Kate. I just want to savor the moment."

Remus inhaled her scent. "You smell good," he said as he pushed his face further into her chest.

Kate giggled, "Careful, you don't want to suffocate."

"Oh, but what way to go!" he mutter as he started playing with a button on her blouse.

Kate rolled away, "I'm serious."

Remus quirked an eyebrow, "Nope, Padfoot is Sirius. You are Kate, the spiced honey scented werewolf with the very comfy chest." He proclaimed as he pulled her back toward him and began to unbutton her shirt.

Kate pushed him back. "No", she admonished.

He whimpered. "Alright," he sighed and pushed himself off the bed.

He bent over, and gave Kate a quick peck on the cheek before he headed towards the door. Stepping into the hall way, he gently closed the door behind him. Remus had almost made it to the bathroom as Sirius left Paige's room.

Sirius smirked, "So mate, did she get your pants this time?"

Remus turned to face his friend and patted the sides of his legs. "Nope, still have them." At that he quickly entered the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Almost as an afterthought, he warded the door.

Sirius yelled through the door, "I'm very disappointed in you, Moony."

He heard several cracks and pops as Remus took down the wards in the bathroom and cracked open the door. "What on earth are you going on about?" the werewolf asked.

Sirius tsked "The least you could have done is buy the girl a drink."

Remus closed the door for a second, and then opened it again only to throw an unlabeled, white box at Sirius. He shut the door again and reset the wards.

Sirius laughed, picked up the box, and headed for the kitchen. He sat at the counter and opened the box to see that it was filled with thin, tube-like packets. He pulled out one of the packets and opened it revealing a pink, cardboard cylinder filled with cotton and string. Pondering for a moment, he thought it looked rather like a snitch. He tossed it in the air and it fell to the floor._ Oh well, that didn't work, _he thought.

Sirius picked up the pink cardboard thing and noticed that if you pushed the hollow end of the contraption up, the cotton came out of the top. After playing with the device for a few minutes, he found that if you pushed hard enough you could make it erupt from the tube. Several minutes of experimenting and a few incantations later, he found that the cotton portion could be launched out of the tube into the air several feet. Soon Jack joined Sirius and they were competing to see who could make their 'eruptor' go higher. Thus the scene was set as Kate and Remus emerged from the hall to a kitchen littered with pink cardboard tubes and unused tampons.

Kate blinked and turned to Jack. "You know Paige is going to be in a tissy because of this, you used all her tampons." She stated matter-of-factly as she crossed to the cabinet.

Sirius turned to Kate. "Tampons?" he queried.

Jack used this distraction to his advantage and rigged his tampon to go higher.

Sirius glared at Jack, "You cheated."

Jack smiled and raised his hand. "Pirate."

Kate rolled her eyes, "You aren't really a pirate. You realize that don't you?" Jack appeared scandalized as she continued. "Your name isn't even Jack."

Jack slammed his tampon tube on the counter. "Lies!!" he shouted and ran into Rose's room.

Sirius shrugged and pocketed the last unopened tampon. Kate ignored the questions concerning feminine hygiene products and gathered items from the cabinets, and then she started making breakfast.

Sirius headed to the shower, leaving Kate and Remus unchaparoned. He turned just outside the bathroom and shouted down the hall. "Just make sure you save me some whipped cream for my pancakes!" He then quickly ducked into the bathroom and heavily warded the door.

Remus sighed and rolled his eyes. Kate just giggled and continued organizing breakfast. She finally turned to Remus. "So do you want to do some recruiting today?"

Remus grinned "That would probably be a good idea."

With a few flicks of her wand, Kate set the breakfast to making itself and pulled a notebook and pen from one of the drawers. "So what types of recruits do you need?"

Remus arched an eyebrow, "Any type... I suppose?"

Kate laughed, "Alright. Do you need military contacts, medics, clerics, spies, underground liaisons, ministry recruits, or assassins?"

He blinked, "Yes."

Kate rolled her eyes, "Alrighty then. Where do you want to start? Who do you want to be the liaison?"

Remus sighed, "Well, we can't send Sirius..." He was interrupted as Sirius re-entered the room.

Sirius shook the water off his hair. "Can't send Sirius where?" Remus gave Sirius a thoughtful look causing him to blanch. "Oh that." Sirius said under his breath.

Sirius cleared his throat. "Kate, I was sent to Azkaban for a crime I was wrongly accused of." Kate smiled and nodded as she started plating up breakfast.

He cast a worried glance to Remus and continued, "I also escaped from Azkaban."

Kate dropped the plate she was working on. "You escaped from Azkaban?" she asked in something akin to childlike wonder as she started clearing up the mess.

Sirius was confused, fear he was used to but wonderment was not a common response to the statement _I escaped from Azkaban_. He gave Kate an uneasy smile. "Yes." he replied.

"By the gods! That's fantastic!!" she exclaimed as she moved towards Sirius. "Before or after the dementors abandoned their posts?"

Remus gave Kate a puzzled look. "You do realize he just said he is an escaped convict from Azkaban, the highest security prison in the Wizarding world?"

Kate gave him a bright smile, "Of course, I realize what he just said. It's amazing." She turned back to Sirius. "So are you still wanted? What security priority are you? How did you get past the dementors?" She worried her lip for a moment before continuing her onslaught. "Oh wait a minute, you never said if your guards were dementors. Do you have another identity lined up yet? Who else knows where you are? Have you set up underground connections yet?"

Sirius gaped at Kate; this was not how she was supposed to react. "Umm...well..." he began to stutter.

Remus interrupted Sirius's attempt to answer Kate's questions. "How do you know so much about a place like Azkaban?"

Kate's face fell as she quickly sobered "Well..." She started but Sirius had regained his composure.

"Yes, Kate. How do you know so much about Azkaban and Dementors, not to mention security priorities and identities?" he said.

Kate flustered and dropped her head to look at the floor. _Shit!!_ _How could I be so fucking stupid? Rule number one, keep your mouth shut Kate. _She berated herself. Kate whispered "Sorry" to no one in particular and ran to her room. Sirius and Remus just gaped at her retreating form.

Sirius turned to Remus, "Bugger me, that girl's got a dark side to her after all."

Remus gave a nod to Sirius and headed down the hall to Kate's room. He knocked on the door and counted to twenty. There was no response, so he tried the handle. It was locked. He knocked again. "Kate, let me in." Remus knocked louder and yelled "Come on Kate, don't lock me out." He waited for an answer, a sound, something but her only response was silence. He pounded on the door one last time, "Damn it, Kate! Fine have it your way." and he apparated into the bedroom.

He gave the room a cursory glance and saw her on the bed staring blankly at a photograph of two wolves on the wall by the window. He sat beside her on the bed, "What was that about?" he queried as he pulled her into a hug.

"Don't!" she snarled and pulled away.

Remus grabbed her by the arms forcing her to face him. "Tell me", he growled.

Kate stifled a sob and turned her gaze to his chest. He tightened his grip on her arms and she gave a small whimper. "Please Remus. It's nothing to be proud of or talk about."

He loosened his grip. "You can tell me anything." Kate shook her head and he continued "Let's see Sirius is an escaped convict and I'm a monster..."

Kate pushed him away. "No you aren't..." she growled.

She glanced up at him. He looked at her with a pained expression, "I thought you trusted me."

Her voice was weak, "I do trust you. I don't trust me, there is a difference."

He could see the tears streaming down her face now, "What's not to trust?"

Kate turned away from him, "Ummm...I don't know. Dark creature, daughter of a high ranking member in a supposedly dark organization, suspect in several cases of aiding and abetting known criminals, you tell me?" She finished as she rubbed the tears from her eyes.

Remus stood up. "I will see you in the kitchen in ten minutes" he said in a stern voice before apparating back to the hall.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jack was standing outside Kate's door when it opened. He gave a very endearing smile to the werewolf, "He found out didn't he?" Kate just nodded and fell into the pirate's arms sobbing. "Shhh....Don't worry, luv. Gerry will make it better."

Kate looked up horrified, "No Jack. It's too soon we were supposed to ease them into this."

Jack gave her a cocky grin, "Best way to learn to swim is to jump in the ocean. We don't have enough time to ease into things, Katie." He reached behind her and swiped her wand from her back pocket. "Sorry Katie, but it's for your own good." He said right before casting a sleeping spell on the werewolf.

Jack carried Kate back into bed, and whispered "Well, I think it's time our guests get a history lesson. Don't worry Katie, it will work out for the best." He closed the door to her room and cast a few quick spells on himself on his way to meet the two wizards.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Remus entered the kitchen and turned to Sirius, "She will be in to explain in a few minutes." and sat next to him.

Sirius moved to say something but thought better of it after seeing his friend's eyes. The man looked like he did when they had first found out about his condition. Sirius was furious with Kate, _how could she treat Remus like that?_

Jack entered the kitchen. Remus noticed he was dressed as a wizard, a very professional and high ranking wizard.

Sirius gave him a suspicious glance. "You look good Jack. Where's the pirate costume?"

Jack smiled at the animagus. "As you know Mr. Black, appearances can be deceiving." He said with a very proper British accent. Sirius busted out laughing. Jack joined him with a subtle chuckle and then shouted "Accio wands." Their wands appeared in Jack's hand but before they could jump up, Jack cast a body bind and a silencing charm on the pair.

Remus and Sirius glared at Jack frozen to their chairs and unable to speak. Jack let out a hearty laugh. "Sorry gentleman, but this was the only way", he said with a twinkle in his eyes. He noticed Remus's eyes drift to the hall. Jack laughed again, "She's sleeping. If you are good, I will let you wake her up."

He walked into the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee. "I told a small fib before, when I hinted that I only have known Kate for a year. Captain Jack has known Kate for a year, I've known Kate since she was fifteen. She came to my aid, after I had been given several helpings of Crucio." Sirius and Remus exchanged worried glances. "But where are my manners. It is time for introductions, I suppose. My name is not Jack Morgan if you haven't already guessed. It is actually Gerald Dorsey and I work for an organization known as La Prima Generazione. I met Kate when I went to her father's house for help after a run in with some Deatheaters. Her father is a director in the Generation Corporation, the more reputable side of La Generazione." He gave the wizards a serious look, "Now I'm going to take the silencing spell off and let you ask questions. I am not going to unbind you or wake up Kate until we have reached a favorable understanding." With a flick of Kate's wand he lifted the silencing spell.

Remus looked at Jack. Tempering his voice he asked, "Why are you telling us this? I'm sure Kate was going to tell us everything."

Jack nodded. "Yes, she was. I found her in the hall and that was when I decided to take things in hand as it were." He gave a thoughtful pause, "It wasn't her choice to be what she is. She was bitten as a little girl, the only job her father could get after the attack was for Generation." He looked into Remus's eyes, "She has never killed anyone, stolen, or caused harm that wasn't absolutely necessary. She has protected those weaker than her and helped those who are unjustly hunted hide. Kate knows darkness, she has tended more wounded and seen more death than... " Jack shuddered for a moment lost in thought, he frowned "She has never done anything. Yet if she were to tell it, you would think that she had orchestrated the Devinshire massacre."

Sirius finally spoke up, "The what?"

Jack smiled though his eyes went cold, "The Devinshire Massacre, the ministry found the heads of twelve prominent pureblood wizards in a carriage house outside of Devinshire in October of 1985.

Remus gave a stiff nod, "La Prima Generazione is also known as the Mudblood Mafia."

Jack frowned, "I wouldn't suggest saying that name in Vegas." He sighed and rubbed his temples "All twelve heads belonged to deatheaters, a present of sorts. Four were delivered to Nott, four were delivered to Malfoy, and four were delivered to Goyle as a message that their kind was no longer welcome here." He cracked a smile, "Evidently they didn't like the extra company in bed, so they dumped them in the carriage house."

Sirius nodded, "Word of that swept through Azkaban."

Jack smiled and gestured at the pair. "You were sent here because there are no known Deatheaters in Vegas and no one will notice Mr. Black. You were sent here because you", he pointed to Remus "can get respectable recruits with Paige." He turned and pointed to Sirius, "And you can access very effective but not very respectable connections through Kate and myself.

Remus spoke up, "How do you intend to hide Sirius?"

Jack warmed, "In plain sight of course, that is why I'm going into work today. Sirius, we need to get your records updated. Sirius Black is supposedly dead, evidently he fell through a veil or something." He said with a wink, "Do you have a name in mind?"

Sirius looked thoughtful for a moment. "Um, I would like to keep a name that has something to do with the stars. How about Orion?"

Remus sighed, "Sounds fine. Jack...I mean Gerald, could you please unbind us?"

Jack gave an evil laugh, "Only if you promise to never call me Gerald." He said as he released the binding spell.

Sirius stretched "Okay, Gerry" and Jack cast him a killer glare. He barked out a laugh. "Fine, Jack."

Jack stood up straighter "That's better." He summoned parchment and a quill. "So first name Orion, last name?"

Sirius pondered for a moment. "I don't know. Any ideas Remus?"

Remus raised an eyebrow, "How about Snape?"

Sirius glared at him, "How about I buy you a silver necklace?"

Jack ignored the exchange, "Bad idea, deatheater family. You would be better off with something muggle or fairly new. Also it should not be easily recognizable so no Potters or Dumbledores."

Sirius sobered "Fine, my answer is Evans." Remus clasped his shoulder in support.

Jack noted the name on the paper. "Anything else gentlemen?"

Remus broke the silence. "Yes. Why Jack Morgan, the pirate?"

Jack laughed, "It was better than Engelbert Humperdinck." He sobered, "Or Gerald Dorsey, the identity specialist for Generation that was wanted by the Ministry of Magic." He shook his head and smiled. "Well I have to get the paperwork started for Mr. Evans."

Jack turned to leave but stopped just short of the door. "Gentlemen, you are seeing me in rare form today, so don't get used to it. And more importantly, though the girls know about Gerry Dorsey; only Kate knows I don't have the I.Q. of a tin of biscuits so let's keep it that way."

Sirius huffed "Why don't you tell Paige and Rose then?"

Jack scowled "I don't want to put them in danger, if they knew too much it could be used against them and I refuse to loose another family. Plus it's fun to have a reason to play pirate." With that he inclined his head and closed the door.

**A/N: Wasn't that fun, boys and girls? Now, if you really want to laugh, go read_ I Wanna Puppy_. It's the prequel (one shot) to this story and it explains one point of view as to why Dumbledore sent the men to Vegas. **

**Thank you all our lovely readers for making it this far. And thank you to our fantabulous reviewers. **

**To Lightning Rain: Yes, Hornhead is a bit slow on the up take sometimes. Don't worry, she's just as odd as she seems. A bit preoccupied with something to do about rubber ducks and spud gaskets. **

**To plushii: Our pond is a synthesis of Sunset Park, Lorenzi Park, and a section of a friend's apartment complex. In other words a work of fiction based on reality. Or maybe it's just Wizarding park on Sunset and Eastern, accessed through the Fairy Grove at Sunset Park... Thank you for the review. **

**Thanks to Sassafrass and There goes my Gun. **

**As always we give praise to Eddie Izzard, god of British Humor and all around sexy bitch. We want his shoes. **


	7. Can I kill You with my Fountain Pen?

A/N: Yes, it has arrived! Another breathtaking installment of the adventures of Sirius and Remus! pause to grab a tissue I'm just so happy! I could cry.... No scratch that, just a sneeze. For those of you who haven't already seen, we have redone chapter 1, it needed work. I suggest going back and reading it again because we've done quite a bit to it, not to mention describe the girls in better detail. Chapters two and three will be worked on in the next few weeks.

**There goes my gun: Thank you for the review. We really appreiciate it. :D**

**Lightning Rain: YOU STOLE MY FREAKIN' DUCK!!!!**

**Sassafras: I wanna puppy! Is part of this fic, it will be explained in future chapters. Poor Remus, he's nothing more than a breeding stud. cringe **

**Surfergurl: The brilliance of Kate's past was thought up entirely by Prof, she's good at stuff like that. :p**

Sirius and Remus watched Jack walk out the door and turned to look at each other. "You know," Sirius said. "I always get surrounded by oddballs."

Remus smirked. "Well, you know what they say, like attracts like."

"Yes, but what does that say about you? After all, you are my best friend." Sirius laughed and raised an eyebrow at him.

Remus looked thoughtful for a moment and replied, "It means, Padfoot, that I am completely out of my element."

Sirius laughed harder and shook his head. "Dung isn't an element, Moony!"

Remus leaned against the counter and replied, "Oh I don't know, Sirius. There are times when so much fertilizer comes out of your mouth that you could supply Professor Sprout for a year. If that isn't a sign of elemental force, I don't know what is." Remus folded his arms and waited for a come back.

Sirius thought for a moment and then shook his head. "Go tend to your woman!" he growled and went back into the guest room.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Remus entered the bedroom to find Kate lying face up in the center of the bed. Her hands were folded over her waist and her hair spread out on the pillows behind her. He cleared his throat, "Kate. Wake up, Kate." He crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed. "Kate, time to get up." He gently shook her shoulder "Come on Kate." Her breathing was deep and she didn't seem to move outside the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest. He leaned over her face and shouted "Wake up!" Kate continued sleeping, something was wrong.

Remus got up and went to the guestroom. "Sirius, wake up!"

Sirius mumbled "What?", and rolled over.

Remus moved towards his friend "Kate won't wake up."

Sirius stretched and yawned, "Then shake her."

Remus paced "I have already tried that."

Sirius rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "What do you mean she won't wake up?"

Remus gave an exasperated sigh, "Just come with me." He said as he headed back to Kate's room. Sirius followed.

Remus took a heavy book from the shelf and slammed it on the floor making Sirius jump. "See she doesn't even flinch, let alone wake up."

Sirius picked the book off the floor. "Calm down Moony, there has to be logical explanation for this. Maybe she's a heavy sleeper."

Remus picked up a pillow from a chair in the corner and tossed it at Kate. It hit her square in the face and bounced on to the floor. She didn't move and seemed to remain asleep. He started to pace again out of frustration.

Sirius jumped up on the bed and started to bounce. "Wakey, wakey!! Time for all good little werewolves to join the land of the living!!"

When that didn't work, he straddled her and shook her shoulders lifting her off the bed. He paused, gently placing her back on the pillows. "I think it's a spell, mate."

Remus stared at Sirius and nodded. "Any ideas?"

Sirius looked at him "How about a counter-spell?"

Remus pulled out his wand and said a counter-spell. The room went dark for a few seconds, and then every candle in the room ignited bathing everything in a soft light. A gramophone near the dresser kicked on and the song "All I Ask of You" from Phantom of the Opera began to electrify the room.

Sirius around the room, "I've got to remember that one."

Remus gave a nervous laugh, "Any other ideas?"

"Maybe if you felt her up, she would start to stir?" he said with a lecherous grin.

Remus glared at Sirius. "I am not molesting her", he gallantly proclaimed. However, inside Remus's head was a wolfish drawl. _We had no problem molesting her this morning or last night or the night before for that matter_ was Moony's roguish response to the situation. _She can be ours, we just have to court her and this morning can be just the beginning. _Remus felt his body responding to memories of that morning, and he began to visibly pale as he fought to stay in control.

Sirius noticed the blood draining from his friend's face. "I was just kidding Remus. Why don't you try something simpler? A kiss maybe?" He noticed Remus relaxed and couldn't resist adding "If it doesn't work, you can always work your way up to molestation."

Remus glared "Not with witnesses." He moved to the head of the bed, leaned down and kissed Kate on her forehead.

Sirius tsked, "Well, that's not going to work", as he sat back on her thighs and stretched. "Use more passion, Moony."

Remus leaned down again and moved to kiss her lips but froze for as Moony made another suggestion. _Yes, more passion. Move the dog, I know just the place to kiss. _Remus stiffened and kissed Kate chastely on the cheek.

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Look mate, if you don't do it right I will."

Moony let out a warning growl and leaned over Kate giving her a passionate kiss on the lips. He pulled back a little to see her bruised lips turn up at the corners. Kate's eyes fluttered open to see Remus's smiling face above her, she gave him a sleepy sigh as she gathered her wits.

Feeling pressure on her thighs, Kate looked down to see Sirius straddling her legs. She glanced up and saw Remus looming over her with his hands braced on her shoulders. Her wand was in his back pocket and she didn't remember coming to bed. These facts combined with a defensive mindset perfected over years due to being a werewolf and an instinct dead set against being trapped resulted in the last reaction Sirius and Remus expected, blind rage.

Without changing her facial expression, Kate swiftly pulled her knees up striking Sirius in the groin and loosening his hold on her legs. She then twisted her body and rolled to the edge of the bed causing Sirius to tumble to the floor and Remus to loose his grip on her shoulders. Kate shot off the bed but not before pushing Remus back and clawing his hand. He drew back instinctively leaving her enough room to start backing towards the door.

Remus saw the mixture of fear and rage in her eyes and knew that he had to talk to her before she got out of the room, otherwise things would get much worse. He strode towards her and reached her shoulder when her attention was trained on Sirius. Kate evaded his grasp and shoved him up against the wall and pressed something onto his neck. "If you value your life, leave me alone", she said in a low growl.

Remus was at a loss, he had dealt with other werewolves in rages but this was different. This wasn't an upstart male vying for status or a death eater looking to take out a half-blood Order member, this was an equal that given the circumstances had every right to react this way and his last instinct was to fight her. Praying to any passing deity that it would be the right decision, he willingly let Moony take over the situation.

Still in human form, Moony cast his eyes downward, declaring that he did not want a confrontation. He let out a quiet whimper and exposed his neck. She released him and withdrew the article at his neck. He ducked his head and submissively nudged her shoulder. She replied with a rough snort, but didn't push him away or move to harm him. He whimpered again and kissed her collar bone. She gave a soft trill and rubbed the side of her face against his hair.

He waited until she was facing forward again, and looked up at her face still avoiding eye contact. The werewolf transitioned back to Remus fairly smoothly. Clearing his throat, Remus quietly spoke. "We were not going to hurt you. Jack told us everything, and we came in here to wake you up. He used a spell to knock you out."

Kate blinked in recognition, the sleeping beauty spell. She drew her hand up to her mouth. "I'm so sorry," she squeaked. Sirius groaned from across the room. She paled as she saw him curled up in a ball near the foot of the bed. "Oh my gods, I'm so sorry," she whispered and rushed to Sirius's aid.

She turned to Remus, "Can I have my wand?" He crossed over to where she was kneeling over Sirius and handed it to her.

Three potions, seven healing spells, and a couple dozen apologizes later Sirius and Remus were in fairly good condition considering. After reassuring Kate for the eleventh time that it was alright, Sirius announced he was going to the other room to lay down, leaving Kate and Remus alone.

Kate sighed and plopped down on the bed, placing her head in her hands. Remus sat next to her. He watched her for a moment and noticed that sobs were not racking her body, she was laughing. He looked at her with something akin to bemusement. "What do you find so amusing?"

She looked up with tears in her eyes. "Everything. Nothing, with how this week is going it's either laugh or cry at this point and I prefer the latter at the moment." She wiped the tears from her eyes and gave Remus a sheepish grin. "Sorry."

"What happened this week?" he queried.

She gave a self deprecating smile and began to tick items off on her fingers. "Well, I was harassed at work, I have abused house guests, I have molested one house guest, I have being entirely too free with my virtue, I have been forced to withhold information from someone I care about, I have been placed under a sleeping beauty spell, and to top it off in less than 12 hours I have become afflicted with something I never thought I would have to worry about."

Remus quirked an eyebrow, "What sort of affliction?"

She gazed at him lovingly. "You see two days ago a wizard was sent by Dumbledore to acquire recruits for the Order of the Phoenix and we got on well." He nodded and she continued "It seems as if I've been struck smitten and afflicted by him. Despite the fact, I am sure it is impossible to fall in love in such a short period let alone become this besotted, especially by someone like me."

He interrupted "Why is that?"

"What?" she replied.

"Why is it impossible to fall in love with someone in such a short period of time? And why is it impossible for some like you?" he asked again.

She shifted uncomfortably. "Because...because it's just isn't done."

He quirked an eyebrow, "What about love at first sight? James was completely besotted with Lily the moment he saw her. Of course, he was eleven at the time so he proceeded to turn her hair into snakes causing her to despise him for the next six years but still he was besotted by her at first sight."

Kate sighed, "Fine, there is love at first sight."

He gave her a smug grin, "So why are you supposedly immune to it?"

She looked down at her hands, "Some of us are destined to be loved by animals and small children." Remus stroked her back, and she turned to look at him. "I am spinster material. I'm bookish, awkward, and shy. I'm not a tiny wisp of a girl, who knows the latest glamories and can recite Witches Weekly. In fact the last time I was forced to read Witches Weekly, Jack had to restrain me from banging my head against a wall." He just laughed, flustering Kate to no end. "Do you realize I restrained you with a fountain pen?" She pulled the pen from her jeans pocket and handed it to him. "What kind of freak knows how to kill someone with a damn fountain pen?"

Remus opened the pen and tested the sharpness of the nib. "A very clever witch knows everything can be used as a weapon." He smiled and pulled her on to his lap.

Kate tried to push away but it was to no avail, he wasn't letting go. "No Remus, I'm too big. You'll hurt yourself." She protested.

"I'm a werewolf, we have two to three times the strength of a normal human or wolf depending on the time of the month. So unless you weigh upwards of 36 stone, I think I shall be alright with you on my lap." He countered. "Now hold still, it is my turn to talk."

She tried to say something but he placed a finger on her lips. "Quiet please." Kate nodded, and Remus smiled. "Thank you. First, you are the most fascinating woman I have ever met. Second, I would rather marry Snape than the supposed ideal woman you described. And finally, I'm just as scared by all this as you are because...if you haven't noticed I'm not exactly husband material either...and this is all going rather fast..." His voice faded out. They just sat in the in companionable silence for the next quarter hour.

Kate finally broke the silence, "I have an exercise, if you like." She said shyly.

"Go on," he said.

"Well, we banter questions back and forth. I tell you something and then you tell me something. I mainly use it when interviewing clients, it evens the playing field." She gazed down at her lap as she finished her suggestion.

He chuckled. "What's your favorite color?" he asked.

"Blue." she replied. "Why does Sirius call you Moony?" she continued.

Remus snorted, "Not one to beat around the bush, are you?" She didn't reply but silently awaited his answer. "James and Sirius gave me the nickname, when they found out about me being a werewolf." He looked around the room. "What can you tell me about that picture?" he pointed to the Wizarding photograph of two wolves on a snow covered mountain.

"Jack took it four years ago at Christmas on Mount Charleston. It is of my Dad and me on the night of the full moon. I'm the smaller one with the black markings." She drew a deep breath, "How old were you when you were bitten?"

Remus shuddered, "Eight. How old were you?"

"Seven," Kate answered factually. "How old are you now?"

He quirked an eyebrow, "Wasn't that in our descriptive?"

Kate blushed, "Paige never let me read the descriptive."

"Is that why you shook Sirius's hand so hard? So you could inconspicuously check for a dark mark?" he queried.

Kate smiled. "Yes. And now you are up by three questions."

"Yes. However, you only gave me two answers." He scratched his chin. "I'm 36. How old are you?"

"I turned 30 in August." She replied and continued. "Have you ever had a girlfriend?"

Remus looked away from Kate. "Not really. I dated Lily for about a week in 5th year, so we would each have a date to the Halloween ball but I have never been willing to risk getting too close to someone. You?"

Kate smirked, "No, I've never had a girlfriend." Remus lightly punched her in the arm and gave her a mock stern look. "No, I have never had a boyfriend." She acquiesced, but gave an impish grin. "Are you ticklish?"

Remus shook his head, "Nope, afraid not much to Sirius's dismay." He cocked his head, "Why did Paige call you Luna?"

Kate rolled her eyes, "Because she's a brat." Remus gave her his best professor glare, causing her to laugh. "Fine, because that is the nickname her and Rose gave me the first night we went out on a full moon. They thought the wolf should have a name so they gave me one. In turn, I named Paige, Pixie, and Rose, Sunshine, much to their dismay." She grinned "Where were you born?"

"Northern Scotland, which I think is funny because everyone describes me as the perfect English Gentleman." He said with a small smile and moved to his question. "What is Luna like?"

She laughed, "That sounds like a double barreled question, how do you mean?"

"Double barreled question?" he asked.

Kate shook her head, "Never mind. Umm...Luna is silver with black markings. Quiet, very protective of loved ones, likes to lope through forests and desert, doesn't like to be pinned or cornered...I don't know what else to tell you." She ended with a nervous laugh.

Remus sobered and looked at the scars on his wrists. "Does she ever get violent?"

Kate looked wistful for a moment. "No so much, between being on wolfsbane and having contact with other wolves the drive to harm humans isn't very great. You?"

"Not so much, since the potion. I really haven't been around any other werewolves outside of trying to recruit for the Order." He said non-challantely, until his voice cracked at the end of his reply. He looked a Kate nervously, "Does Luna fight for control with you?"

Kate shrugged, "Not really...It depends I guess. She usually comes out on full moon or during times that require a more instinctual response, I usually just step back and let her." Remus gave a horrified look to Kate. She gave short laugh, "My instincts really tell me to attack anyone with the exception of self defense or when I feel someone is threatening my pack. It's just like being a regular wolf. Wolf packs are maintained through loyalty, communication, and love; violence is always a last resort." He gave her a disbelieving look and she sighed. "If you don't knock it off, I will make you read." She pointed to a bookshelf filled with books on wolves for emphasis. "Wolves, contrary to what most think, rarely settle things with violence or are unnecessarily cruel. That is the human part of us."

Remus could tell that Kate was started to get agitated and shifted his question. "So are there any other instinctual things that Luna has input on?"

"Um...that I think has been part of the problem this week. She has been causing some uncharacteristic behaviors on my part." She replied shyly.

Remus laughed. "Hmm...Moony has been having a similar effect. So what do you think we should do about it?"

She nuzzled close to him. "We could trust them."

"What?" he replied taken off guard "I don't think that is a good idea."

"Why not? The worst they have subjected us to has been some light teasing and a strong desire to literally sleep together." Kate said with a yawn.

He tucked her under his chin and smiled into her hair. "Are you always this sleepy?"

She yawned again, "Only before my coffee and the full moon. You are changing the subject."

He relented, "I don't know if I can, Kate. He's too dangerous."

"Can you let me up?" She asked and he complied. Stretching, Kate went over the bookshelf and grabbed a text. She returned to the bed and sat next to him. "Read. I'm going to go make some coffee." She simply stated and headed to the kitchen.

Remus turned the book over in his hand and read the title, _Children of the Night, Children of the Gods: Alternative Essays on Dark Creatures. _He flipped to the citation page to see it was published in 1977 by Generation Press and the compiling editor was one Robert Gardener. He skimmed over the book, the first section contained four essays on werewolves. The first essay spoke of the historical nature of the werewolf codes and the monetary rewards received by both wizards and the ministry for convicting neighbors of being werewolves. The second essay discussed the practice of lynching werewolves and how the rational behind said lynching was based on cultural myths designed to maintain the hegemony of the Wizarding world. The last two essays covered case studies of two werewolf communities in Europe.

When Kate returned to the room with coffee, Remus was completely immersed in the book. She handed him a cup and settled on the floor to sort through some files.

A few hours later Remus looked up at Kate, his face an open book. "Why don't they tell this side of it?" he asked to no one in particular.

Kate got off the floor and wrapped him in a hug. "The Ministry won't allow its distribution in Europe. Evidently, it is subversive."

Remus shook his head "But afflicted werewolves kill people."

"Correlation is not causation, just because the instinct is there doesn't mean you follow it. How many people have you killed?" She replied sounding a little like McGonagall.

Remus cocked his head, "I haven't killed anyone."

"How many deaths have been due to werewolf attacks in Europe over the past 100 years?" she continued.

"Seventeen, I believe." He replied.

"So over the past 100 years, seventeen people died at the hands of werewolves. Or more precisely seventeen people died due to the action of five werewolves, three of which were employed by Grindelwald and killed in their wizard form. How many wizards have killed muggles, werewolves, or even their own kind in the past 100 years?" She replied solemnly.

He placed his head on her chest. "I don't know. Something to think about, I suppose."

The pair laid down on the bed and took a nap.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Paige went into her room and changed into blue jeans and a tank top after work. She then went to look for Sirius and found him asleep, curled up on the floor of the guest bedroom. Paige giggled and Sirius stirred. He opened his eyes and yelled, "Stop with the cupcake!"

Paige's giggles turned into laughter. "Okay, but I'm just as deadly with a croissant."

Sirius rubbed his eyes and then gave her a warm smile. "Sorry, I just had the weirdest dream."

Paige quirked an eyebrow. "I'll bet. Why didn't you call me today? We were supposed to have lunch."

Sirius stretched after he stood up. "Oh, I'm sorry. I fell asleep on the floor."

Paige smirked and led him to her room. "You fell asleep on the floor? You can't be serious? How does one manage that?"

Sirius grinned. "You're right, I'm Orion now."

She rolled her eyes and sat down on the bed. "I see that Jack finally decided to do his job."

Sirius bowed. "Orion Evans, at your service milady."

Paige smiled and replied, "Alright, but that still doesn't explain why you fell asleep on the floor."

Sirius sat down next to her and sighed. "Well, first I got in an argument with Remus, then I got frustrated because I couldn't think of a comeback so I came in here. Then I fell asleep, when I woke up I was hungry so I went and ate some toast. I went back to my room and crawled back on the bed but it was too soft and I couldn't sleep so I stretched out on the floor. I guess I nodded off again."

Paige giggled. "Do you realize how much like a dog you really are?"

Sirius nodded, a mischievous gleam in his eye. "Yes, I'm loyal, I'm sweet, I'm fairly housebroken, and I love to give big, wet, sloppy kisses." He turned into a Grimm and started licking her face.

Paige shrieked and tried to pull him off, but he was too strong and much to heavy for her to do much good. Besides, he had the element of surprise. She laughed and sputtered. When he licked inside her mouth, it was too much for her and she transformed into her animagus form. She raised a paw in warning and Sirius sat back on his haunches. He cocked his head to the side and gave an inquisitive growl. Paige pulled herself up and hopped off the bed indignantly, flicking him in the face with her tail as she did so.

Padfoot yipped playfully and pounced on her, sending her tumbling to the floor. Paige twisted and turned until she was on top of him and purred loudly before Padfoot kicked her off, sending her into the wall. Paige righted herself and let out a low growl before tackling him. She quickly pinned him down and nipped his neck, eliciting a small bark from her captive. She sat up and batted him on the head a few times before leaping off of him and rushed to the door. She crouched, waiting for retaliation, and trilled a challenge.

Padfoot growled and rushed at her. Paige jumped out of the way and before he could stop, he crashed into the door with a loud bang. Sitting back, Sirius felt a bit dazed and Paige nudged him to make sure that he was alright. Padfoot took this opportunity to jump on her and he barked.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Remus opened his eyes to find himself laying in the forbidden forest. Kate was snuggled behind him and they were laying in a next of moss and leaves. A few yards in front of them, stood a large silver wolf with light brown markings. It was intently watching the pair.

Remus slowly sat up. For the first time since he was eight, he was alone in his head. The wolf gave a slight bow and approached stopping two yards from the pair. Remus moved for his wand and the wolf whimpered ducking its head. Remus stopped and the wolf looked up.

"Good morning, Remus." It said.

Remus shook his head. "Do I know you?"

The wolf gave a low growl that sounded like a chuckle. "You should, I've been with you for almost thirty years. But I don't think so."

Remus blinked, "Moony?"

The wolf bowed again. "You got it right." and he took a step forward.

Remus pulled his wand out and pointed at the wolf. "Stay away from her."

Moony cocked his head to the side, "Sorry, but I can't. You see, I'm hers."

"What?! Are you mad? You just can't claim people, she doesn't belong to you." The man shouted.

Moony snorted "Humans." He gave Remus a bemused look and took another step forward. "I never said she is mine. I said I am hers, I plan on offering myself to her. And if she accepts and then gives herself to me, she is mine."

Remus shook his head, "What?!"

Moony shook his head in response, humans were definitely slow creatures. "She is only mine because she says she is mine. I am hers because I say I am hers. She isn't an object, I can't own her."

Remus looked confused, "But you were possessive of her this morning when Padfoot tried to kiss her."

Moony gave a wolf's equivalent of a sigh. "Just because she's not mine, doesn't mean I want her finding another to give herself to. She's mine.

"But you just said..." Remus interjected.

Moony groaned, if the boy got any denser. "She is mine, but she does not belong to me." He explained in a manner one might to a small child.

Remus turned to look back at Kate, and found a large gray and black wolf in her place. He looked at Moony again and moved to say something but there was a loud crash, which snapped him back to Kate's room.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kate awoke to the sound of something very large crashing against the wall, followed by several small thumps. She sat up for a moment and startled when something slammed into the down in Paige's room.

Kate and Remus got out of bed and headed to Paige's room. Kate moved to open the door but Remus pushed her behind him in a protective gesture and reached for the door handle. He startled as he heard Sirius bark and threw open the door, revealing Padfoot on top of a mountain lion.

Kate pushed past him, "Pixie, I think you've finally found an original sin." She laughed. Pixie pushed Padfoot off of her and let out a small annoyed trill. Flicking her tail at Kate, she hopped on the bed and laid down. Kate smiled, "Well, kindly keep it down, some of us were sleeping." Pixie sniffed the air and turned to face away from Kate.

Kate shrugged and dragged Remus out of the room. He gave her a questioning look but she smiled, "They were just playing." She stretched and started towards the kitchen. "Well, what would you like for dinner?"

He wrapped her in a hug and nipped at her neck. "Hmm...Good question."

She gave him a gentle shove. "What sort of food would you like for dinner?"

Remus gave an evil grin and spun her so she faced away from him. "I'm not really hungry for food." he said as he ran his hand through her curls and kissed a trail down the side of her neck, stopping to apply just the right amount pressure at her jugular. Kate let out a soft mewl and felt her legs go all wobbly.

She pushed him again and giggled. "No, bad Moony." She admonished as she ran to the front room.

Remus took his time and followed her into the living room. He gazed appreciatively at her and thoughtfully scratched his chin. "Hmmm...Wishing to engage Moony, my dear? Not a wise decision, if you ask me." He laughed as he stalked her around the coffee table a few times.

She smiled as she paused letting him catch her. "So you think you can win this one?" She said grabbing his wrists and pushing them down to his sides.

Chuckling he reversed the hold and pulled her arms up over her head. Twisting she broke his hold, and they spent the next few minutes wrestling and laughing on the living room floor. At one point Kate managed to get back on her feet, but Remus toppled into her pushing backwards over the coffee table. "Ow" she exclaimed, before she started giggling. She moved to get up, but Remus climbed on top of her. Unfortunately, there combined weight was too much for the coffee table and it collapsed with a loud crash.

Remus tried to look innocent and proclaimed "Oops." Kate threw her head back and laughed, he took advantage of her new position kissing her neck and collar. He moved to open her blouse and let out a low growl, just as Sirius entered the room unnoticed.

Sirius spoke up, "At least we kept it in the bedroom."

The pair ignored him for the moment. Kate rolled Remus on to the floor and straddled his back. "Surrender?", she growled in his ear.

He pushed her off him and pinned her on the floor. "Never" he exclaimed and began to tickle her.

Sirius cleared his throat, "Could you keep it down out there? Some of us are trying to sleep."

Remus looked over his shoulder and smirked at him. "Oh, I forgot. Would you like to watch, Sirius?"

Sirius grinned, "Sounds like fun." He moved further into the room and sat on the floor.

Remus continued tickling Kate, after she started to seem out of breath he paused. "Surrender?" he cooed.

Kate gasped, "You cheated."

He started tickling her again "Surrender?"

She squealed. "Yes!" she shouted in between fits of laughter. Remus relented and pulled her off the floor.

Just then Pixie ran out and knocked Sirius sideways. She growled before running back to her room and slamming the door. Kate giggled and started to sway. Thinking ahead, Remus grabbed her and held her up as she tried to compose herself.

Sirius pushed himself up. "Well, that was different."

Kate stifled her laughter for a moment and said, "Kitty drive-by."

Sirius gave her an evil grin, "So it has happened before?"

Kate nodded, "Too often to count. If you really want to irk her just ignore it until she comes out of the bedroom again." With that she pulled out her wand and fixed the coffee table. She gave Remus a quick peck on the cheek and headed to the kitchen.

Sirius stood up. "Guess I will take her advice. Good night, Moony."

Remus looked at the clock, "It's only 7:00?"

Sirius smirked "You plan on being out in the living room the rest of the night?" He then headed down the hall to the guest room and closed the door behind him.

Remus chuckled and followed Kate to the kitchen. He entered the kitchen to find her chopping various ingredients, while a cauldron bubbled away on the stove. "Where were we?" he drawled.

She raised an eyebrow and pointed her knife in his direction, "I'm making dinner."

He grinned, "I thought we were in the middle of discussing dinner." He said as he moved towards her.

"We were, Professor Lupin, but I couldn't seem to convince you that I was not on the menu so I made the decision for you." She said with a wry grin.

Remus smirked. "I'm not going to dignify that with a comment." He crossed to the stove and lifted the lid on the cauldron. "What are we having then?"

She sashayed over to the stove. "Fesenjan, rice, and roasted eggplant and peppers, any other questions?"

"Yes," he announced quite boldly. "What is Fesenjan?" He peered into the pot, "It smells sweet."

Kate twirled one of her curls around her finger. "I like sweet." He quirked an eyebrow in response and she giggled. "It is chicken in walnut and pomegranate sauce, it's Middle Eastern."

"Are you going to belly dance for us then?" he asked with a small smile.

"I could" she replied and performed a few hips circles and a quick shimmy to prove her point.

He gave her a roguish grin. "That really isn't helping me behave."

She batted her eyes at him. "Whatever do you mean?" she asked coyly.

He let out a husky chuckle. "Little girls should know better than to bait wolves." He said as he stepped towards her. He stop in front of her and raked over her with his eyes. _Gods, we are both playing with fire here, _he thought.

She ran the back of her hand across his chest. It brushed one of his nipples on it path to his shoulder causing him to suck in his breath. She looked up at him and gave an impish grin. "Why Moony what nice lips you have."

He leaned down and captured her lips in a kiss. Tracing them with his tongue, he caused her to let out a soft moan. Moony took the opportunity and slid his tongue into her mouth deepening the kiss. He encircled her waist with his arms and cupped her backside, pulling her against him.

In return, she tangled her hands in his hair and ground her hips against him as he started kneeding her bottom. She gasped into his mouth as his erection pressed into her thigh. Turning so he could rub against a more intimate and demanding area, she stumbled into the stove causing the cauldron to topple off its flame and crash into the stove top.

The noise brought Kate and Remus back to their senses. Breaking the kiss, they both paused to catch their breath. Kate blushed, "Wow."

Remus gave a shy smile. "That does say it, doesn't it?"

She ducked her head and put the cauldron back on its tripod on the stove. "Definitely wow." She gathered the ingredients for the rice and with a few flicks of her wand another cauldron was assembled and cooking on the stove.

Remus touched her shoulder, "I'm guessing that was Luna."

Kate blushed and gave a nervous twitter. "Yes, I take it that was Moony?"

He laughed, "Yes, it seems he is quite taken with you."

They spent the next thirty minutes in comfortable silence setting the table and finishing dinner. Every once in a while, Kate and Remus would brush against one another or share glance, causing them to grin like school children.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sirius flopped down onto the bed, determined to make Paige come find him. He smiled when he heard a thump come from her room. _'Probably pouting by now'_ he thought.

He laughed softly when he heard her door open. After a few minutes, she knocked on his door. Sirius got up and stifled a grin before opening the door. He feigned a concerned look and ushered her into the room. "Yes, darling, is anything wrong?" he asked.

Paige wrinkled her nose at him and he laughed. Walking over to the bed, Sirius grinned. "Are you mad at me for some reason, Paige?" he asked innocently.

She walked over to him and tilted her head up to look at him. "Yes, I am." She said.

Sirius tried to kiss her but she ducked and backed away. "Not, I'm mad at you. You don't get kissed when you're in trouble."

Sirius sat down on the bed and gave her his best puppy dog eyes. Paige didn't change her stance or expression at all, however, and resisted when he pulled her into his lap. He started kissing her neck and Paige sighed. "Sirius, as good as that feels there are things we can do besides shag each other senseless."

Sirius stopped long enough to say, "But none of them are nearly as appealing, dear."

Paige shifted uncomfortably on top of him and smiled. "I'm not kidding, Sirius. All we've done so far is snog and practically fuck."

Sirius nodded. "I know that. I personally think it's a bloody good plan, though." He ran his hand up her shirt and nipped at her neck.

Paige pushed his hand away and jumped up. "Hey, be serious for a minute."

Sirius grinned. "The name's Orion."

Paige gave an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes. "Alright then, Orion, listen to me, alright?" Sirius slumped over and put his hands in between his knees. Paige glowered at him for a moment before sitting next to him. "I'm not saying that I never want to, I'm just saying that I feel that's all you want me for."

Sirius frowned. "You think that I'm that immature?"

Paige shrugged. "I don't know... maybe. It wouldn't be the first time."

He gave her a hurt look. "Well, I'm not."

Paige looked at the floor, unable to watch his expression any longer. "I know, Sirius."

Sirius ran his hand through his hair. "Well then, tell me what the problem is, Paige."

A tear slid down her cheek and she didn't answer. Sirius felt the anger and frustration rising and growled. "Fine, when you decide to answer me, I'll be waiting."

Paige got up and ran out of the room.

Sirius sighed and slumped over on the bed. _'Well, that could have gone a lot better.'_ He thought. _'I really need to work on my skills again; they've been out of practice too long. Although they've probably rusted shut by now.'_

He gave a rueful look into the kitchen before going back to Paige's room. Remus and Kate were getting along well. _'They better take that to the bedroom before they go any further.'_

A/N: You people wanna hear something really scary? We cut this chapter in half, it was much longer. That's because we can't ever seem to shut up. Oh well, you people are still reading it so we must be doing something right. Next chapter will be shorter, I promise. :D Thank you reading-type people! We love you!

runs after Lightning rain, wrenches duck out of her hands hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! My duckie!


	8. Shall I knock You Up?

A/N: Hello everyone! New chapter as promised! (unlike my other story, sorry to anyone who reads that one, next chapter is coming I swear) I guess I'll answer reviews at the bottom this time so that people who want to skip them can. Also, if you haven't done it yet, please go read "I Wanna Puppy" It is the prequel to this and you'll get kind of confused in a few chapters if you don't read it. So, for both stories; read and review!

After dinner was set on the table, Kate turned to Remus and wrapped her arms around his neck. She gave him a quick kiss on the lips and looked adoringly into his amber eyes.

Remus gave her a goofy grin. "Hello beautiful, fancy meeting you here." He said right before he kissed her back.

Kate's eyes were dark with passion, she gave a weak sigh and moved her hands to straighten his shirt. "I think you should get Sirius before we get out of hand."

Remus gave a pouty look worthy of a first year Hufflepuff. "Please Kate." He pleaded in between brushing light kisses across her face. "Please, please, please..." She stepped away but he dropped to his knees and began in a dramatic voice "Being around you is addictive. I need you, I want you, I can't go on without you." He threw himself at her knees and wrapped them in a hug in an act of exaggerated melodrama. She laughed hysterically but he continued. "You are warmer than the warmest sunshine, you are softer than a sigh, you are brighter than the brightest star that shines every night above." As he ended his silly declaration, he leaned back and brushed a stray hair from his eyes. He then flashed her a charming smile.

Kate giggled, "You will not win this one, even with the cunning use of Petula Clark." He gazed at her with puppy dog eyes and she shoved him playfully. "Come on, you know we have to eat sometime tonight." she gently admonished.

"Fine" he huffed as he got up off the floor and stuck his tongue out at her. He winked at her as he left to head down the hall. Remus entered the guest room and saw Sirius wasn't there. He went to Paige's room and knocked on the door.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sirius hesitated outside her door for a minute before knocking. She didn't answer, not that he expected her to so he went in. Surprisingly, she was wearing a pair of wire-rimmed glasses, something Sirius never thought she'd have, and was sitting at her desk, quill in one hand, and parchment in the other. She held up her parchment to get a good look at it for a minute, intent on ignoring him.

Sirius closed the door and leaned against it. "Paige, can we talk?" he asked in a quiet voice. She set her jaw and Sirius knelt down in front of her. "I'm sorry, love. I lost my temper a bit. I guess I just need to work on my patience level."

Paige's resolve crumbled and she set the quill and parchment down. She turned to face him and responded, "Yes, you do."

Sirius took her hands into his own and looked into her eyes. "I just want to know what's bothering you, Paige."

She opened her mouth to answer when there was a knock at the door. Instead she said, "Yes, come in."

Remus opened the door and smiled. "Dinner's ready." Paige jumped up and all but ran out of the room.

He watched her leave and looked at his friend, concerned. "What's wrong, Padfoot?"

Sirius sighed. "I don't quite know." He stood up and straightened his clothes.

Remus gave him a reassuring smile. "Well, things will work out for you, they always do."

Sirius nodded. "I certainly hope so. Let's go eat."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dinner was a relatively quiet affair. Paige was very tense and only spoke when asked a question. Sirius was silent and picked at his food. Kate and Remus made quiet conversation discussing possible contacts but seemed somewhat distracted by one another. At one point, Paige mumbled under her breath for them to stop acting like teenagers.

After they finished with dinner, Kate and Remus headed to the kitchen to clean up, leaving Paige and Sirius to talk this over. Paige returned to her room without saying a word to Sirius, who just went to the living room.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When they were finished with cleaning, Kate and Remus found Sirius sitting in an armchair. Kate turned to the animagus, "Go talk to her." she said as she pulled him out of the chair and pushed him in the direction of Paige's room.

He turned to protest but was faced with his Kate and Remus giving him matching parental glares. Sirius barked out a laugh, "Okay Mum and Dad, I will go talk to Paige." Kate stuck her tongue out at him as he disappeared into the hallway.

Remus chuckled and watched as Kate pulled out a box of tarot cards and set them on the table. "You know how to play?" she enquired.

He gave her a playful smile, "Why as a matter of fact, I do...Oh wait, you meant cards." He laughed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Yes. I know how to play though it has been a while."

"Good, then I stand a chance." She smirked. "Basic rules, take the fool through the major arcana cards to achieve the world." Kate said as she laid the cards out on the table. At one point in the game Jack called, but Kate quickly answered his question and the pair continued to play in companionable silence.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sirius knocked on Paige's door and went in without waiting for a response. "So, are you going to tell me what is bothering you?"

Paige was sitting on her bed and looked like she had been crying. She wiped her eyes and shrugged. "Um, I don't know."

Sirius closed the door and leaned on it. He crossed his arms and asked, "Oh really?" Paige looked away and nodded. "Well then, Paige, if you won't tell me why you're mad at me then I'll go somewhere else so that you don't have to talk to me."

Sirius was about to leave when Paige whispered, "It's not about you."

He quirked an eyebrow at her, "Oh really, then what is it about? You certainly seem to be taking it out on me, whatever it is."

Paige whipped her head around and glared at him. "You don't know what you're talking about, Sirius. If I'm being such a bitch, why are you trying to talk to me? You don't have to, you know. I get along just fine by myself."

Sirius sighed. "If you want me to leave, I will. All you have to do is tell me so. Do you want me to?" Paige wiped her eyes again and shook her head and Sirius sighed. "Then what do you want me to do, Paige?"

She gave him a sad half smile. "Would you just comfort me for a little while?"

Sirius walked over to the bed and sat down next to her. She shuddered when he out his arms around her and he pulled her in tight. Paige sighed gratefully and Sirius kissed her forehead. "What is it? Would you at least tell me what bothered you? That way I won't do it again."

Paige gave a soft, embarrassed laugh. "I don't really know how to tell you."

Sirius responded, "Well, how about just being straight forward like you normally are? I rather like that about you, you know."

Paige sighed and gathered her thoughts. "Well," she stated. "I guess it's because I'm kind of confused about us. I mean, I like everything just fine, but I've never had any sort of relationship that started out like this. I'm not just talking about long-term, although I haven't really had very many of those, I'm talking about one-night stands too."

Sirius knit his brow. "What do you mean? Are you telling me that you don't have feelings for me?"

Paige shook her head. "No, that's not it at all. I mean we've started off so abrupt, you know? Everything just seemed to go so fast."

Sirius finally understood. "Oh, okay. I guess that's mainly my fault."

Paige nudged him. "If there's any fault in that it's _our_ fault, not just yours."

Sirius shrugged. "Well, I'm the one who's not quite practiced in how to treat a woman like you. I've been in Azkaban too long, my skills have dwindled." Paige laughed and nestled into his neck. Sirius laid his head on hers and continued. "I need to know what you want me to do to make you feel better. Do you want us to back down somewhat?"

Paige nodded. "I guess so. I just don't want things to move so fast that they end up not working out. That happens to me pretty often and I like you a lot."

Sirius smiled and ran his fingers through her hair. "I understand. I like you a lot, too."

Paige pulled her head up and grinned. "Really?" Sirius nodded and she went back to his neck. "Good, 'cause Jack would have a fit if you lied. He gets kind of protective of me. At least I don't have it as bad as Kate. He gets completely psycho over her."

Sirius laughed. "I'll bet. Well then, I've got to tell Remus. He'll want to know something like that."

Paige giggled. "Naw, let him find out on his own. It's funnier that way. Besides, he's a big boy, he can very well take care of himself."

Sirius shrugged, jostling Paige from his shoulder. She sat up and wrinkled her nose at him and he grinned. "Oops, sorry about that."

Paige folded her arms across her chest and sniffed. "Yeah right, that's why you're smiling." Sirius tried to give her a sympathetic frown and she shoved him. She laughed and gave him a playful glare. "You prat. Hey, you want to see some pictures?"

Sirius nodded and Paige pulled out a huge album and sat back down. She opened it up to reveal various pictures of her and Kate. "This one," she pointed to a picture of Kate in a sombrero, "is from when we went to Mexico. Jack got caught doing something he wasn't supposed to and we had to spend five hours bailing him out of jail." Sirius laughed, imagining what Jack could have done to get himself jail time. Paige pointed to another one, this time of her hugging a little boy while he laughed at a big dog circling around him. "This is my nephew, Corbin. Isn't he cute? He'll be five next month. That's Rose circling around us."

She turned the page and indicated a huge photograph of people standing around a woman in a bridal gown. "This is my sister, Elizabeth, at her wedding. You wouldn't believe how much work went in to gathering all of us for this shot."

Sirius smiled and realized how much Page looked like her sister. "So, where are you in this?"

Paige blushed slightly. "I'm not telling. I look stupid."

Sirius gave her a look and responded, "Oh come on. I promise I won't laugh."

Paige pouted for a second and weighed the sincerity of his words. She gave a resigned sigh and pointed to a girl with brown hair, braces, and the ugliest powder blue dress Sirius had ever seen. His eyebrows went up and he stifled a chuckle. Paige smacked his arm and gave him a dirty look. "You aren't supposed to do that. You promised! I look stupid."

Sirius conceded that with a nod. "Well," he said, "The head full of ringlets does make you look like a poodle." He couldn't stop a laugh when Paige glared at him.

She turned the page and barely concealed a smile. "Shut up."

Sirius noticed many of the same people standing around an old man in a wheel chair with a huge birthday cake in front of him. He was trying to blow out the candles, many of which kept re-igniting while everyone looked on and laughed. He pointed to it and asked, "Who are all of these people?"

Paige smiled. "These are all of my aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers, and sisters standing around my great-grandfather at his 125th birthday party. Poor guy, I used trick candles. It's hard enough trying to blow out 125 candles, but when I made them trick ones..." She laughed softly and shook her head. "It cost a lot to buy that many, too."

Sirius picked her out of the crowd of people. She was laughing the hardest of all of them, along with a girl who looked quite tired. "Who's that?"

Paige giggled. "That's my cousin, Susan. She and I stayed up all night rigging my brother's car to sing 'I feel pretty' whenever he passed a group of girls. I'm glad I paid attention in Charms."

Sirius laughed and filed that idea away for future use. "Merlin! How did you think that one up?" Paige giggled harder.

"We had just watched West Side Story and thought it up. He was so mad when he found out what we did." She yawned and stretched, reminding Sirius of her cat form.

He stood up. "Well, I think I'll go to bed. We have both had a long day and Kate wanted to get started on those contacts tomorrow." Sirius made a mental note to ask Paige more about her family in the morning.

Paige nodded and stood up on her bed. She grabbed his shoulders and placed a small kiss on his lips before getting off the bed and disappearing in her closet. She rummaged around for a minute and pulled out a pair of flannel footie pajamas. She smiled at Sirius and said, "I do like sleeping in the same bed as you, but under the circumstances, I'll just have to see you in the morning."

Sirius nodded. "Right. I'll be up early so I'll knock you up around eight?"

Paige smiled, "Sounds good."

He hadn't had much at dinner as he had been thinking about the way Paige was acting, so he went out into the kitchen and got something to eat.

After he had finished two bowls of Fesenjan and rice, he looked in the fridge for something to drink. He found the stuff Paige had that night at dinner, something called Vernors. Deciding it was worth a try, he opened a can and took a sip and immediately started coughing. He held the can up to read the ingredients, a lot of stuff that he didn't even know how to pronounce much less know what they were. He thought for a minute and decided to try again. He held his breath as he brought it up to his lips, when he didn't start coughing he sipped some. Again, he started coughing. He tried to look inside the can, but he couldn't see much.

Sirius went out into the living room and looked at Kate. "How on Earth does Paige drink this stuff? I can't stop coughing."

Kate looked up from her cards. "Which stuff?"

Sirius held up the can of soda. "This stuff. Vernons, or whatever it's called."

Kate smiled at Sirius over her cards, "It's Vernors. You inhaled didn't you? The trick is not to inhale right before you drink."

Sirius nodded and took a drink then smiled at her. "Wow, this is pretty good stuff, once you know how to drink it."

Sirius thanked her and said his goodnights to both of them, before turning to head back to the guestroom.

He paused and looked at Kate, "Do you want me to knock you up in the morning so we can get an early start?"

Kate startled for a moment and looked up from the game. "Pardon?"

"Do you want me to knock you in the morning?" he repeated.

Kate blushed and glanced at Remus. "Do I want him to knock me up in the morning?"

Remus smiled, "Sounds lovely. Sirius, you can knock me up as well."

Sirius grinned. "Great."

Kate swallowed hard. "Are you going to be knocking Paige up as well?"

Remus noticed the color draining from Kate's face. "Is something wrong, dear?"

Kate gave a vague nod and started to gather the cards for the night, either she was losing it or knocking up meant something other than to be knocked up. She gave a wane smile "Remus, why can't you just knock me up in the morning?"

Remus blushed, "Well, I assumed I would be sleeping in your room again. If not, I'm sure I could knock you up in the morning."

Kate froze for a minute as a feral voice in the back of her head snickered, _Come February you could take him up on that offer. _

She worried her lip in thought for a moment, and finally asked "What does knocking some one up entail?" Sirius and Remus looked at her as if she were quite mad for a moment. Kate continued, "It's just after the misunderstanding over 'pants', I think I'm a bit confused."

Sirius gave a short laugh. "It means that I'll knock on your door and wake you up. Is there a reason you would rather I not wake you up Kate? Would I be walking in on something?" He gave her a big smile and winked.

Kate blushed and shyly replied. "No, that's fine, thank you." Sirius nodded and headed down the hall.

Sirius was almost to the guest room when he turned and went back to the threshold to the frontroom. "Kate, just out of curiosity, what does it mean here?"

Kate averted her eyes from Sirius's gaze. "It means to impregnate someone." She stammered out, while quickly fixing her gaze on the coffee table.

Sirius barked out an incredulous laugh in the hall and went almost as red as Kate. He cast a sidelong glance at Remus and shrugged. "Well, I'll leave that decision up to you and my counterpart. Goodnight."

"Good night" she replied.

Remus was amused and wished Sirius goodnight again then helped Kate gather the cards. The pair then took their potion and retired for the night.

A/N: Goodnight Clementine, goodnight Pa, goodnight Jebediah.... Oh sorry.

**Lightning Rain: Once again you stole my duck. But since I now have another one, I'll forgive you this little indiscretion. So, you want us to fight over dickies? Sounds to me like you're reading the wrong fic! I don't do that stuff here. :p**

**Surfergurl: Yeah, that was half. We were giong over it and found that it was 23 pages long. We thought that 14 was a much better number.**

**Sassafrass: No, Jack knows exactly who he is. This takes place in '96 so he hasn't seen the movie... yet. I'll make Prof write a short story depicting that scene. I can just see it now...**

"**He stole my name! That bloody git! That's my line!!!!"**

**We did, however, base him partially off of Jack Sparrow, so you were half right. ï **

**Okay everybody, now please review. All it takes is a little click and something as short as "I like your story" to make my day. (No, really, you can ask Rosi and Prof, I spend all day being happy about it.) **


	9. They Kicked Me Out of the Scouts for Eat...

**Disclaimers: **

**Prof. Pendragon: Greetings and salutations, gentle readers. Thank you for reading our story. **

**Rosi Padfoot: (Starts pushing Prof. Pendragon) Bother, bother, bother, bother...**

**Prof. Pendragon: (rolls eyes) Alrighty then, as I was saying, all this gestures with a dramatic sweep of her arm belongs to J.K. Rowling. **

**Rosi Padfoot: What?? The computer? **

**Prof. Pendragon: No, not the computer. The characters of Sirius Black and Remus Lupin belong to J.K. Rowling. She also owns the Wizarding world featured in Harry Potter and 1/15 of Portugal. As always, we thank her and beg that she and Time Warner not smite us with their litigation dementors. **

**Warning: This chapter features a description of mild addiction. Remember kids, friends don't let friends play hide the Fesenjan (stops to listening to the dozens of back button selections and shrugs) I sort of expected that. Anyway for those still with us, on with the story and we will see you at the end, where the Jello Muppet will respond to our reviews, your questions, and a rubber duck abduction report. **

Chapter Nine: They Kicked Me Out of Scouts for Eating a Brownie.

5:00 AM PST

Jack was back to his normal self the next morning, well normal for Jack anyway. He was turning the kitchen upside down in search of Fesenjan. When he had called Kate the night before, she had told him that she had made it for dinner. And Kate always made extra, so he now searched for his treasure. It called to him like a siren's song, _Jack, Jack come delight in my pomegranatey goodness._

After his third time through the fridge, he slammed the door. Straightening his vest, he gathered himself, took a deep relaxing breath, and proceeded to charge down the hallway.

He first tried Kate's room but it was locked and warded as was Paige's room. He knew Rose was in San Francisco on business so there was no use searching her room. He slumped against the wall and thought, _If I were filled with pomegrantey goodness where would I hide, or more precisely where would someone hide me? And who would that someone be? And why would that someone not know that pomegrantey goodness was meant to be shared and not horded? Pomegrantey goodness is a gift, a gift from Pomona herself. _

Jack shifted against the wall and moved toward the guestroom. The door wasn't locked or warded. He burst through the door, garnishing his pistol and frantically looking about the room. The beds were empty, he moved further into the room and tripped over the prone form of Sirius Black. "Bloody Hell", Jack cried as he came crashing down over the animagus.

Sirius bolted upright and looked at the pirate strewn across his lap. "There are nicer ways to wake someone up, Gerry. And just for your information you are looking to the wrong wizard for that sort of fun."

Jack jumped up and staggered a bit. "First off mate, it's Jack. Second, I was just looking for Fesenjan. And finally, who sleeps on the floor?"

Sirius gave him an amused look. "You were looking for Fesenjan in my lap?"

Jack rolled his eyes and lifted his hands in a placating gesture. "Mate I don't swing that way. I just want the pomegrantey goodness, now where is it?" He turned and started rifling through the dresser.

Sirius let out a short laugh. "So I won't let you look in my drawers so you're going to look through my drawers?"

Jack snorted. "Listen, we all have cooking duty. Rose is passable, Paige is mainly based on her ability to speed dial, and Kate is" he paused not wanting to make his friend sound too attractive to the cur that was probably hiding his Fesenjan "Kate only makes Fesenjan for company or at holidays, so if I don't get my pomegrantey goodness now I won't get any for another six weeks. Now where is it?"

Sirius shrugged, "It's gone."

Jack fell to his knees and let out a high pitched keening sound. "No!!! But why is all the Fesenjan gone? Why?"

After blinking a few times and shaking his head, the deranged pirate was still in his bedroom. Sirius looked at the clock and sighed. "Do you know what time it is?"

Jack paused. "It's 5:30 and the Fesenjan is still gone. No walnuts. No pomegrantey goodness. All gone. But why? Why is all Fesenjan gone? Why the Fesenjan?" he wailed.

Sirius was not amused and debated throwing Jack out by force but yesterday's display made him pause. Instead, he apparated into Paige's room. She stirred in her sleep at the popping sound that proceeded him. Sirius hesitated before lightly shaking her shoulder. Paige's eyes fluttered open and she looked at him questioningly.

Sirius whispered, "Sorry Paige, but Jack is in my room going on about Fesenjan and won't leave."

Paige rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock. "Fucking psycho pirate." she muttered. "Fine come in bed with me. He's not stupid enough to come in her uninvited." Sirius accepted her invitation and went back to sleep.

10: 00 AM PST

Paige rolled over and yawned. She opened her eyes to see that she was face to face with a sleeping Sirius. She was confused and stared at her bedmate willing him to wake up. When that didn't work, she shook him soundly. "Wake up, Sirius."

Sirius grunted in response and rolled over. Paige scowled and shook him harder. He stirred but didn't wake. Paige sighed in frustration, "Sirius, wake up the dementors are here."

He shifted in the bed, "Oh come on James, five more minutes."

Paige glowered at Sirius. "I am not James, and you have to wake up now! Now wake up!!" she yelled.

Sirius awoke dazed and confused. "I didn't do it!" he cried.

Paige rolled her eyes. "Sirius, is there a reason why you are in my bed?"

He sat up. "To paraphrase you, the fucking psycho pirate isn't stupid enough to come in here uninvited."

Paige blinked. "And you are?"

Sirius frowned. "You invited me."

Paige furrowed her brow. "When did I do that?"

Sirius let out a shot laugh. "About 5:30 this morning?"

She thought for a moment. "I vaguely remember that."

Sirius arose from the bed. "Well, that's good because after wrestling with you last night, I'd hate to tangle with you in a fight."

Paige gave him a smug smile. "That's because cats are superior to dogs." she said airly.

"So you think." he scoffed in response. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go knock up Kate." he said as he ducked out the door.

Sirius knocked on Kate's door and a grinning Remus opened it. "Good morning, Sirius."

The animagus smiled evilly "Knocked you up."

Remus laughed, "So you did. If it's a boy, I'll be sure to name it after you."

"I'll hold you to that." Sirius replied and laughing he went to the kitchen to get something to eat.

He found Jack sound asleep on the kitchen floor. Sirius stifled his laughter and went to get Kate and Paige. The three returned to the kitchen and gazed at the sleeping pirate.

Kate kneeled next to Jack, and gently shook him awake. He awoke with a start. "Fesenjan!!" he cried.

Kate tried not to giggle. "Jack, why don't you go to bed?"

Jack hugged Kate, "Oh Katie, my sweet angel. You are like a sister to me. Tell me, tell me where the Fesenjan is?"

Kate smoothed down Jack's hair. "I don't know, Jack." she said in a gentle mothering voice.

Jack pushed past Kate and stood up. He advanced on the wizard. "Where is the Fesenjan?" he demanded.

Paige stepped between Jack and Sirius. "Jack, go to bed."

"But Paige," he simpered. "The Fesenjan is gone and Kate won't make it for another six weeks."

She snorted, "Then show up for dinner. Now go to bed." At this, Jack hung his head and went to his room.

Paige looked at Kate and Sirius. "Well, we are getting a late start so why don't we catch breakfast on the road?"

Kate nodded "I'll meet you in the living room, Sirius." And she returned to her room. Paige and Sirius headed down the hall after her and went to their respective rooms.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius found Remus changing into the more professional clothes Paige had purchased for him. "Looking to make a good impression?" Sirius asked.

Remus straightened his tie. "Not really, but these are supposedly respectable folk so I thought I might look the part at least." he said with a grim smile. He looked over his warn teaching robes and began folding them 'just in case'.

"So Moony, how goes it?" Sirius queried as he plopped on his bed.

"Fine, I suppose. How are things progressing with Paige?" he replied.

Sirius grinned. "Fairly good."

Remus shrank his robes and placed them in his shirt pocket. "Alright see you out front." He was halfway to the door, when he turned to look at Sirius. "Padfoot, do you know what it is like to be... you know?"

"Boy do I ever, but I'm sure the girls have a potion for that?" Sirius rolled over on his side and patted his stomach.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Not like that Sirius. I mean, you've been with a lot of women and ..."

Sirius startled. "Oh, been there. Yes, quite nice there. I highly recommend it." he said with a wicked grin.

He blushed. "Not there, necessarily. Have you ever been in love?" Remus stammered.

"Sorry mate, I can't help you there. I was a little young when I went into Azkaban and things have been a bit slow lately." Sirius replied.

Remus looked apologetic. "Sorry, Padfoot." He stated quietly and reached for the door handle.

Sirius shook his head. "Don't be Moony. I'm just stating a fact."

"I know Padfoot, I just forget sometimes and then it all just comes flooding back." Remus said as he walked over to his bed.

Sirius sat next to him and slapped him on the back. "Well, aren't we cheery today?"

"Quite" Remus replied as he began to straighten a pillow case.

"Alright Moony, tell me about Kate." Sirius stated as he pulled the pillow away from Remus.

He sighed and started speaking in a sing-song voice. "She is a social worker and a counselor. She is a member of the Order of the Phoenix..."

Sirius cut him off. "No, tell me what you think about Kate."

Remus shifted uncomfortably. "She is very clever and witty. She is very sweet. She is brave, you should have seen it when she stood up to Severus." He paused for a moment remembering her actions. "And she is rather lovely. She is quirky but it adorable when I think about it."

Sirius nodded. "So you fancy her?" Remus just nodded and the animagus continued. "So I'm guessing by your earlier question, you are wondering whether or not you are in love with her?"

"Yes..No..I mean I can't be now can I?" He replied shaking his head.

"Have you ever been in love?" Sirius countered. Remus shook his head. Sirius patted him on the back, and headed for the door. "Then how do you know?" he called behind as he left the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus, Kate, Sirius, and Paige had gathered in the living room. Paige was on the phone with her office. "No, I'm sorry there is no way we can come in today. That's right, she's very contagious. Ok, see you in few days." She hung up and turned to Kate "So that is settled."

Kate smiled, "Thanks."

Remus moved to stand by Paige. "We should be going."

Paige nodded and grabbed her keys heading out the door. "Good luck guys" she said as she and Remus left.

Paige led Remus down to her car, a sporty gray four-seater, and got in. Remus instantly realized why she teased Kate about the 'Bookmobile', Paige's car was immaculate. He glanced in the back seat and noticed that it was very tiny. He felt a little claustrophobic, having gotten used to the expanded wizarding cars back in England.

Paige smiled, sensing his discomfort. "I know, it's small. I can't use magic on it because it's run by computers. I tried once, fried the entire system. My mechanic is muggle and I couldn't tell him what really happened, making me look like a complete idiot. You wouldn't believe the looks I got on that one. It almost cost more than the car is worth to fix, luckily I have full insurance and I told them that it was struck by lightning so they paid for it."

Remus laughed. "They believed you?"

Paige shrugged. "They did, the mechanic didn't. He knows me well enough to know that something probably happened that he wouldn't want to know about so he just let it slide. That's why I got the weird looks from him."

She backed out of the parking space and stopped. "So, what do you want to eat?"

Remus blinked a few times. "Um, breakfast?"

Paige giggled. "Alright, then we'll go to Denny's. Good breakfasts, I like the sausage slam, or whatever it's called."

They soon arrived at a green-roofed building down the street from where the girls live and got out of the car. On the way to the door, Paige glanced at Remus. "By the way, you look really nice in those clothes. The Green brings out your eyes."

Remus smiled and reddened slightly before mumbling a thank you and they went in. When they were seated, Remus saw a little notepad with pictures on a stand at the end of the table. He picked it up and flipped through until he found something of interest. He pointed to the hot fudge brownie and gave Paige a huge grin. "I'm getting this."

Paige raised an eyebrow. "It's desert." Remus's face fell and she shrugged. "Alright, whatever you want." The grin he had previously returned in full force, making Paige shake her head.

They talked for the next half-hour about the differences between American-English and English-English, with Paige telling Remus what words and phrases to avoid. His favorite was "freakin-A" which Paige didn't really know what the A stood for. She did, however, admit to using it quite a bit and said she didn't care if she didn't know exactly what it meant, making Remus laugh. She finally pouted and wrinkled her nose at him before crossing her arms and almost yelling, "If you want to know so bad, ask Kate. She's the smart one, she'll know the answer!"

He said he would and happily finished off his brownie, before thinking about Kate. "Paige, tell me about Kate. I mean, I'm... ah... well, I'm getting rather fond of her and I'd like to know a little more about her."

Paige swallowed the food she had been chewing and grinned. "You are? That's great because I've never seen her act the way she acts around you. You just made me very happy, I'm protective of her. Not as much as Jack, but I'm still protective." Remus smiled and Paige shook herself back into the right train of thought. "Anyway, what is Katie like. Well, first of all, she hates to be called Katie. I only use it when I want her attention, and I wouldn't recommend using it as I usually get hurt when I do. Ah, she's incredibly nice to everyone. She's also really silly once you get to know her. She's made up tons of songs that make the rest of us laugh."

Remus cut in. "Like what?"

Paige laughed. "Well, there's the Oedipus Song, Little Demon Foofoo, My Underwear is on Fire, and Never Give a Baby a Weed-Whacker, to name a few." Remus raised an eyebrow and Paige laughed even more. "I know; that one is one of the funnier ones. Getting back to your question, now. She doesn't date much, if ever. Um, she's an excellent fighter, I've had lots of times when I limp away from a wrestling match with her. Twice I've even had to go to the hospital, though that was deserved. She has a lot of control, over herself and subconsciously over others, that's because of her being an Alpha. She's probably the only person that can order me around and actually expect me to do what she says. Well, I'll do whatever she wants me to _most_ of the time, anyway. Um, what else do you want to know about her?"

Remus thought for a minute. "What did you have to go to the hospital for? What did she do to you?"

Paige grinned. "Well, one time I had a broken arm. She did that when I accidentally popped her knee out of socket. The other time I had to get fifteen stitches, but I won't tell you why I deserved that one."

Remus's eyes went wide. "You two play rough, don't you?"

Paige gave an embarrassed laugh. "Well, yes we do. I'm used to it from having three older brothers who made me fight with them whether I wanted to or not. I'm also used to it from work as I have a pretty physical job where I have to defend myself and children almost every time I'm on duty."

Remus nodded his understanding and Paige hopped up to go pay the check. She then took him to her office, knowing that he'd be very successful there.

Remus gazed around at the busy atmosphere, noting how noisy it was. He followed her back through a maze of corridors to a small cubicle. The first thing he noticed was that the walls were covered in pictures, notices, and newspaper clippings from the local wizarding press. The next thing he noticed was that the pile of files on her desk had a big box full of silver sitting next to it. He backed up a few steps and Paige plopped down in her chair.

"Don't worry, Remus, they're in there permanently. I've put a charm on the entire box so that I'm the only one who can lift them out. I'm not doing that any time soon, you can sit down and relax now." She moved the box to the floor next to her desk and started sorting through the files.

Remus did as he was told and looked at the pictures adorning her walls. Paige sitting on 'Santa' at a party, Paige playing in the mud with a bunch of kids and laughing so hard that she looked like she was going to pass out from lack of exhaustion. Paige hugging a young man in his graduating robes. One picture had somewhere around twenty to thirty children in it and they were holding up a sign that said, "Thank you Miss Kitty." He laughed. "Miss Kitty?"

Paige looked back at him. "Huh? Oh, that's what the kids call me. They like my animagus form. The picture you're looking at is from the first grade class at the school here. Most of them have Kate for a case worker."

Remus smiled. "So, what exactly do you do here?"

Paige turned back to her sorting and said, "Well, I'm mainly security. When the headlines say something about a child being bitten by a werewolf, there's always some idiot who thinks he should put the child out of his misery. Someone from this department is there to make sure this person doesn't succeed. Also, we take care of the children of Death Eaters for much the same reason. We do have a few vampires here, but not many, mainly just the others."

Remus glanced at the box of silver. "So, this is what you meant about your job?"

Paige nodded. "Yup. Last week I confiscated a silver knife from a man going after a four-year old werewolf, to give an example. That type of stuff happens all too often around here and we're getting stretched thin to protect them all. People are too cruel and too ignorant, you know what I mean?"

Remus nodded. "That sounds about right. Things seem to be better here than in England, though. I never had people like you and Kate to look after me."

Paige smiled and Remus noticed a picture of Kate on the wall above her desk. He moved to look at it but Paige stood up and pushed him back. Remus stood up to his full height, towering over her and growled out, "Do you mind?"

Paige realized that she just challenged him and quickly dropped her gaze and took a step back. She hunched over submissively and spoke in a quiet voice. "I'm sorry, Remus. I just need you to promise me something before you look at that picture."

Remus startled and shook himself. "No, Paige, I'm sorry. What do you want me to promise you?"

She straightened up and blocked his view of the picture. "I need you to promise that you won't tell Kate that I showed you this picture."

Remus furrowed his brow. "Why? Does she have a boyfriend?"

Paige smirked. "Yes, I believe she does."

Remus dropped down into a chair and sighed. "I knew it. She's too good to be true. How long have they been together?"

Paige stopped herself from laughing. "Oh, about three days I think."

Remus looked up at her, something wasn't right. "When was this picture taken?" He had to hope that this wasn't a picture of the bastard who took his Kate or he'd go hunt them down.

Paige raised an eyebrow, thinking that he was catching on. "Four months ago."

Remus gave a relieved sigh. "Alright, I promise I won't tell her." Paige moved out of the way and Remus rushed to get a closer look. He almost laughed at it. Kate was wearing mary janes, knee-high socks, a skirt that would show everyone what God had given her if she moved at all. On top of that, she had on a white men's dress shirt knotted right below her breasts revealing a black satin bra that she was all but spilling out of. Her hair was in two pig-tails and had glitter covering her face. All in all, this picture made him aroused, possessive, and amused all at the same time. Next to her was Paige wearing a pair of skin-tight jeans with numerous strategically placed holes and the shirt she was wearing the morning that she came into the kitchen in her underwear. He raised an eyebrow, opting for showing how funny he thought it was rather than yelling out, "Mine!" for everyone to hear.

Paige grinned. "I made her go to a Rave. She lost a bet to Jack and as a result she had to wear that. Jack didn't specify where and she intended to stay at home in it but I dragged her out with me. Doesn't she look good?"

Remus chuckled. "Well, she looks something alright. Are we going to go talk to people?"

Paige sighed. "I suppose we must. I was having fun talking to you, too. I'll introduce you to a few people and then I need to come back and get some more paperwork done. The people in this office don't care about my little system and I just got everything the way I want it, so now I need to fill out a few forms and stuff. Is that alright with you?"

Remus felt a little nervous without Paige there to fill in the quiet times, but soon found four people interested in the Order. When she came back to get him, he was in the middle of a story about Sirius and James and the time they had charmed all of the suits of armor to follow the teachers around, singing love songs whenever they tried to teach a class. He looked up at her through the throng of women surrounding him and she winked. He turned back to his audience and said, "It took them a full week to lift that charm, meanwhile the armor had to be locked up in the dungeon so that the teachers could do their job." The women laughed heartily and Paige smirked. He stood up and said, "Well, ladies, it's been a pleasure talking with all of you. I need to go now, I think Paige would like to get some lunch and I'm famished."

Rachel, a tall woman with black hair pouted. "But Remus, I'll share my lunch with you."

Another witch nodded enthusiastically. "Yes Remus, if we feed you, will you stay?"

Paige came up at this point and looped her arm through his. "Sorry ladies, he's taken. We're going to go eat sushi and the last time someone brought in sushi Rita had to stay home in bed for a week with food poisoning." She flashed them a smile as she led Remus out of the room. They made their way down to the car and Paige made it inside before laughing. "Oh my, Remus! Those women loved you!" She laughed some more and batted her eyes at him. "Stay with me, Remus. I'll feed you" she said in a mocking voice.

Remus smiled. "They were just being friendly, Paige."

Paige shook her head. "Remus, if Rachel was any friendlier, she'd be in your bed." Remus blushed furiously and Paige patted his shoulder. "That was a lot more than friendly, those women were fawning over you."

Remus mumbled, "Were not." He didn't want them to be, he was Kate's and that's all there was to it. '_Why would they like me? I'm a tired old werewolf with gray hair and wrinkles, hardly something to admire.'_ He thought.

After lunch, Paige took Remus out to meet some of her friends and acquaintances. He spent the next several hours talking people about the Order and trying his best to feel like he fit in with these people before Paige mercifully took them home.

They were walking up to the door when Remus stopped. "Paige, normally I'm not this forward about things, but I'm concerned about your intentions with Sirius."

Paige smiled. "Yes?"

Remus ran his hand through his hair. "Yes. What exactly are they?"

Paige furrowed her brow for a minute and bit her lip. "Um, I'm not quite sure yet. I think he's great, but I don't want to rush into anything, you know?"

He nodded and stopped her from going inside. "I do feel that I should warn you," he said solemnly, "of the consequences of hurting a member of a lycan's family."

Paige smiled. "Do you now? Well, Remus, I don't intend to hurt him at all. I don't know what I intend to do with him, but I don't intend to hurt him. Is that alright?"

Remus nodded and they went inside the apartment.

**A/N: hello, everyone! I hope you enjoyed this little adventure as much as I did. No? Oh, well then, SCREW YOU! Anyway, Prof has made me answer the reviews so here goes:**

**Sassafrass: Yes, I am happy. You are definitely inspiration, right up there with Denny's, Eddie Izzard, and Prof's roommate. No really, you are all inspiration for us. g **

**Surfergurl: Prof would like to know what your secret is, as she can't seem to shut up when she writes. I fully expect the next chapter to be just as long, considering Prof is the one writing it. We do have an advantage as far as writing long chapters goes since there is more than one of us, but Prof still can't write a short chapter. **

**Lightning Rain: Still thinking about dickies, eh? One track mind. **

**Now my mind on the other hand... Oh wait a minute, I've just gotten word that my mind ran off with the dish and the spoon to go join a popular children's story somewhere near Lubbock, TX. Can someone file a missing person's report? What do you mean, you can't file a Missing Person's report for a mind? It is too a person! Well, part of one anyway. You people just hate me 'cause I'm beautiful! Stop laughing!!!!!!!! Grr. **

**Stay tuned and read I Wanna Puppy! It will come into play later in the story, so you don't' want to be left out! I'll even give you the link, just copy and **

**K? Now go read it. It isn't very long and you'll enjoy it. Review it while you're at it, ok? Now, be a good little reader and copy and paste. Good reader, see you there.**


	10. But of Course He's a Flamer

**Disclaimer: We the party of the first part, agree that the party of the second part, J. K. Rowling, owns Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. Though if she really did kill Sirius off in book five, we call dibs. This chapter does contain swearing, fantabulous individuals, and awkward moments. **

Chapter 10: Of course he's a flamer?

Kate gave Sirius a nervous smile as the door closed behind Paige and Remus. "We'd better get going, I guess." she ventured.

Sirius smiled and nodded. "After you, milady.", he said with a bow and the pair headed out the door.

They rode in uncomfortable silence until Kate put a CD into the stereo and _Sing, Sing, Sing_ played in the little car.

Halfway through the song, Sirius grew tired of the lack of conversation. "So you like this type of music?" he asked. She nodded and continued driving. "Remus likes this type of music too. When we at school, he listened to it all the time. Lily used to call it his battle theme because he would play it when he was studying DADA.", he managed to get out.

"Nifty.", she replied.

Sirius glanced out the passenger window at the passing buildings. _Tall, dour, and silent._ _Well Moony, you always were one for social butterflies. _He thought before taking a moment to ponder his friend's taste in witches. _Definitely not much of a talker. How he could think that she has a great sense of humor is beyond me, she doesn't say anything. She's pretty enough, but she dresses like McGonagall. Actually, scratch that I've seen McGonagall in more revealing outfits, though Kate's knickers were promising. _Sirius fidgeted with his safety belt. _She never bloody talks, how can a living being be so blasted quiet. Maybe she doesn't like me? I mean, after all, I did go to Azkaban and I was straddling her when she woke up the other day. _He glanced at Kate, who had just turned a knob decreasing the volume of the music. _Bugger, blasted, bloody hell!! For gods sake woman, say something. _

Kate sensed his discomfort and attempted to make conversation. "We go swing dancing sometimes," she said as she motioned towards the CD player. "Maybe you could join us, while you're in Vegas."

He gave her an uneasy smile, "That sounds fantastic! You know we all used to go dancing. James, Lily, Remus, Peter, and I used to go out to this pub once a month. It was loads of fun, we did that until Peter told James about...", Sirius sobered and fell silent.

She gave him a wane smile "We will have to go dancing sometime then." Kate moved to say something else when her stomach growled. "Sorry. Do you mind if we grab something to eat on the way?"

Sirius laughed grateful for the distraction "Of course not!", he exclaimed. He seemed content the rest of the ride.

They got out of the car at Einstein's Bagels across from the magical annex at UNLV. The place was full of muggles with a few wizards and witches scattered about. These magical folk went relatively unnoticed and were easily written off as part of the strange element universities attract. He was so distracted by the sight of a young man with long purple hair and multiple piercings that he stumbled into the dairy case. "Excuse me.", he muttered under his breath.

Kate laughed at his wonderment. "It is not always like this, class is in session and Roma is closed for the day. It is usually a lot more conformist." She pointed to a couple of posh freshman girls. Sirius smiled in their direction and was rewarded with a giggle.

Kate gave him a nudge when they reached the counter. "What do you want?"

Sirius shrugged and winked at the college girls in the corner. "Whatever."

Kate chuckled. "Okay. How many bagels do you want?", she asked as she pointed towards the bakery case.

He looked over the selection. "I'll start out with four." he said decisively.

Kate shook her head in mild amusement. "Could you please get us a table, while I place the order then?" Sirius saluted and grabbed the only open table, which was far away from the objects of his affection.

Every good werewolf expert knows that being a lycan has both its assets and liabilities. At the moment, Kate was certain that at the forefront of those liabilities was enhanced hearing. Particularly, enhanced hearing within earshot of vapid, overly indulged freshman girls. Needless to say she was thrilled to reach the end of the line after five minutes of "God, did you see that girl in restaurant management class? She is so creepy.", "What do you think of Professor Wilson? He is so creepy.", "Do you remember the girl my brother dated last month? She was so creepy." and "My dog Snickers is getting so big. I swear he's probably going to be creepy."

After paying for their order, Kate crossed in front of the freshman girls' table and overhead one of them saying "Do you see that guy? You know the one that smiled at us from the counter? He is so creepy."

Kate gave a feral grimace and pulled her wand out of her sleeve. She mumbled something under her breath as she headed towards Sirius. Before she was out of ear shot, she heard the same girl say "Look at that woman in the old fashion clothes, she is just so creepy."

Sirius was joined by Kate at a small table by the window. "It will be about fifteen minutes, they're a little busy today." She told the animagus, who was staring at the pair of co-eds.

In what seemed to be a strange turn of events to Sirius, the girls had started screaming as they noticed every word in their textbooks, homework, notebooks, and day planners had been replaced with the word "creepy".

"Should we help them?" Sirius asked.

Kate mumbled something to herself and turned towards Sirius with a look of interest. "No, I think they'll be fine.", she replied with a smile.

One of the girls was now hysterical. "But everything was creepy! Really it was all creepy.", she was telling the store manager, who was escorting the young woman and her friend out.

Sirius nodded and the pair sat in deafening silence. A few minutes later Sirius couldn't take it any more. "Do you like me?", he blurted out.

Kate looked up from her coffee. "Yes."

He shook his head. "No really, do you like me?"

She gave him a comforting smile. "You seem like a good guy, you are good for Paige, and Remus trusts you. So, yes Sirius, I do like you. Why?"

He shot her a nervous glance. "You don't really talk to me", he said meekly.

Kate laughed. "I'm shy, Sirius. I generally don't talk unless I'm working or I'm good friends with someone." He looked as if he didn't quite believe her, so she continued. "Honestly, it's nothing to do with you. I've been mistaken for a mute at several dinner parties. It is very embarrassing."

He barked out a deep laugh, drawing attention to the table. Kate touched his the back of his hand. "So, how about we come up with a workable solution so you're not surrounded by silence? I will answer any questions you might have and you can chat about anything you like."

Sirius grinned "Deal." Just then the food arrived and he quirked an eyebrow at Kate. "Is that cake?" he asked.

She smiled. "No, technically it's a brownie."

"But it's breakfast, you aren't supposed to eat sweets for breakfast.", he stated as he furrowed his brow.

Kate pulled off the brownie wrapper and began to read aloud. "Flour, eggs, milk, chocolate, and sugar; a very balanced list of ingredients." After she finished reading, she took a large bite of the brownie.

"Why didn't I get a brownie?", Sirius asked.

She finished chewing and took a swig of her coffee. "You didn't ask for a brownie."

He feigned a pout. "You never offered. Trust me, if you would have offered I would have jumped on the idea of sweets for breakfast."

Kate laughed, pulled out a brownie from the paper bag on the tray and tossed it to Sirius. "Here, have a brownie." Sirius grinned and continued eating his bagels placing the brownie in his pocket.

The pair finished their breakfast and headed to their appointment. On the drive to Generation headquarters, Sirius turned to Kate. "Does Paige date a lot?"

Kate furrowed her brow. "Sometimes, she has cycles."

"Has she ever been serious?" he asked.

"Nope, you're the first Sirius that I know of.", she replied with a twinkle in her eye. Sirius chuckled and she continued. "She has had two long-term relationships."

Sirius quirked an eyebrow, "What were they like?"

Kate gave a small sigh. "Well, Erik was from a wealthy pureblood family. He was a hot tempered chauvinistic control freak, who was as arrogant as they come without a sense of humor. He was good with kids though and very pretty.", she finished, pondering what to say next.

"He was very pretty?", Sirius asked.

"Sorry, handsome but handsome in the pretty sort of way, too perfect. That is the best way to describe him perfect, unfortunately his idea of perfection included Paige not attending Auror training in England. He forbid her to go, so she broke off the engagement." Sirius grimaced and Kate continued, "On the other hand, Charlie was a sweetheart from a big family in England. The distance was too much for the relationship; they are still good friends.", she finished.

Sirius frowned, "What kind of guy does she fancy?"

Giving him a reassuring smile, Kate parked the car. "Generally, she goes for the boy-next-door type, but she likes you so don't stress out over it." He gave her a weak smile and the pair headed into the casino.

When Sirius entered the casino, he was overwhelmed. It was loud, smoky and filled with flashing lights. Everything seemed to be too much and he swooned as he felt his energy lessen. Kate noted his reaction and pulled him back to the entrance. He was sweating bullets and shivering. "I've got to get out of here.", he whispered to Kate as he clutched his chest.

Kate pulled him outside the building so they were standing outside the glass doors. Sirius' eyes were bright with unshed tears and stood shaking next to her. She gathered him into a protective hug, "What is wrong Sirius?", she asked. He shook his head and she stepped back for a moment. She ran hand down his cheek, "It's alright. Take a deep breath." Kate moved her hand to his chest, placed her hand over his heart, and whispered some words in a foreign language. He felt as if he was being filled with light and enveloped in a warm blanket. His breathing came easier and things weren't as overwhelming or loud.

She gave him motherly smile and took his hand. "We are going to cross the casino to the elevator." She pointed through the door to the far end of the casino floor. "Just hold my hand and we'll get there, I promise." She gave his hand a squeeze and they headed to the elevator.

As the door closed, Sirius let out a deep breath and shuddered. "What happened? I felt like I was back in Azkaban."

A piece of chocolate was placed in his hand. "Here eat this.", she said as she smoothed down his hair. He ate the chocolate, while Kate explained what had happened. "You had a panic attack. Casinos can be a bit overwhelming and tend to suck energy.", she told him.

She handed him another piece of chocolate. He gave her a weak smile. "Thanks.", he murmured.

"Next time you visit we can apparate directly to the offices.", she said to reassure him. The elevator stopped. "Ready?", she asked. Sirius nodded and the door opened.

The pair stepped into a waiting room with no doors or windows. Sirius turned to see the elevator doors disappear, leaving a blank wall in their wake. Kate tugged his sleeve and pulled him towards an ancient witch at the desk on the far side of room. Kate smiled down at the woman and rang a bell on her desk.

The woman glanced up from her typing. "You're expected, Miss Gardener.", she cackled. She pressed a large red button causing a buzzer to sound and a set of double doors to appear on the wall behind the desk.

Kate ushered Sirius through the doors and thanked the old crone as they passed. They entered a long hallway lined with doors. Kate paused for a moment and turned to Sirius, "Alright. If you see anything out of the ordinary, please don't stare or draw attention to yourself."

Sirius nodded in ascent but was soon drawn to glance about wildly. After they passed what looked like a balrog, Sirius turned to Kate. "Is that a balrog?", he asked as he pointed out the creature.

"Stop pointing.", Kate hissed.

The balrog had noticed though and stomped towards them. "You want something?", the creature boomed while snapping it fingers.

Kate stood between the huge creature and Sirius. "Oh hello, Bret. You look lovely today. How is demon control going?"

Bret huffed filling the hall with smoke. "Oh hell no! Don't 'Oh hello, Bret' me, wolf girl. Who is this crazy bastard pointing at people like we're in a zoo or some shit?" the balrog demanded. Kate pushed Sirius further behind her as he peeked around her trying to get a better look at the balrog. Bret rolled the coal black orbs that were its eyes at Kate. "Who the fuck do you think you are, mother-fucking Glorfindel or something? Trying to hide the wizard like I didn't see the bitch pointing at me. Back down little Mama wolf, he ain't one of your strays."

Kate gave her best scathing look at the Bret and stepped to the side. She gestured to Sirius. "This is Orion Evans, he was sent to speak with my father.", she announced aristocratically.

Bret snapped his head back and flick the flames around his head like mane. "Don't be getting all Divalicious on me, Princess.", he directed towards Kate and then turned to Sirius. "In the future, just don't go pointing at people it's tacky. But it is a pleasure to have more muggle divas in this den of fantabulous inequity. See ya." With that, Bret snapped his fingers again, and sashayed down the hallway.

Kate turned to Sirius, "What did I say about pointing?", she admonished in a hushed voice.

Sirius raised his right hand. "I solemnly swear, I will never point again.", he said before casting a quick glance in Bret's direction. "Let me guess, flamer?", he smirked.

"I'll tell you later.", she replied and lead him down the corridor.

At the end of the hallway, there was another waiting room similar to the one outside the elevator. The receptionist looked up from her knitting and smiled at Kate, before pressing a blue button revealing a large oak door with a lunar chart carved into its frame.

"Thank you, Mrs. Segal.", Kate said to the elderly witch and entered the office with Sirius.

The office was inviting, decorated in deep blues and regal golds with cherry wood furniture and several enchanted windows. On the far wall was a huge fireplace, big enough to floo 10 men easily. Near the fireplace, a gentleman with long wavy gray hair and glasses sat doing calculations.

The man looked up from his work and smiled, his blue eyes twinkling at the pair. He brushed some stray silver curls out of his face and spoke, "Good afternoon Katie, Mr. Evans."

Kate moved to stand next to him. "It is still morning, Dad.", she stated as she kissed his cheek.

Mr. Gardener pulled out his pocket watch and checked. "Of course it is, darling.", he laughed, a southern twang coloring his speech. He patted her hand, "Why don't you show Mr. Evans around and come back in an hour or so?", he asked.

Sirius stepped forward to talk to Mr. Gardener but Kate pulled him into the fireplace and dropped some floo powder. "Security." She announced and the pair reemerged in a long hall containing several hundred cubicles.

Sirius gawked for a moment, the room was the same size as the Great Hall at Hogwarts. The ceilings were at least 40 feet high and the hall itself was a few hundred feet across. He looked at Kate, "You have a lot of security here, must make you feel really safe.", he said trying not to stare at what looked like a hag.

Kate didn't respond right away but instead gave a genteel smile and a wave to a group of wizards that were walking past them. When they were out of earshot, she whispered to Sirius, "Everyone that is not officially on the books in terms of the U.S. Department of Magic is classified as security."

"So, I'm security?", he questioned.

Kate waved at a passing half-giantess. "We'll know what you are classified as after we meet with my father.", she replied.

Sirius pondered aloud, "So if we don't find out, am I insecurity."

Kate giggled, drawing the attention of a middle-aged witch with one eye. The witch stepped close to Kate and sniffed the air. She then embraced the young werewolf and laughed, "When is the wedding?", she asked. Sirius stifled a laugh.

Kate seemed nonplussed. "Hello Abigail. How is John?"

Abigail patted the younger girls arm. "Everything is fine. When did you meet him? This isn't him is it? He seems awfully tall." She turned towards Sirius and wrinkled her nose. "No, not this one. I can smell a wolf a mile off and he's no wolf." She winked at the animagus, "Though you can be a dog at times. No offense."

Sirius barked out a laugh, "None taken, Madame."

Kate pulled away from Abigail and smiled. "No, this is Paige's friend, Orion Evans. He has an appointment with my father about getting recruits for Dumbledore."

The older woman cackled. "I thought I smelled the remnants of lemon drops.", she said and shook Sirius's hand. "A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Evans."

"The same Ms.?", he replied.

Kate blushed. "Sorry, Orion this is Mrs. Abigail Blooms."

Sirius bowed. "Mrs. Blooms. Would you be interested in learning about my cause?"

Abigail grinned, "I actually know a great deal about your cause Mr. Evans and I would be honored to be one of your first recruits."

He nodded and handed Abigail a piece of parchment, she signed her name and wished the pair a good afternoon.

Sirius gazed at his first signature. "Well, that was random, easy but very random. Why did she sniff you?"

Kate shrugged. "Abigail is a werewolf, so she can probably smell Remus on my clothes. Nothing to be concerned about." Sirius opened his mouth to make a comment about Remus and her clothes, but thought better of it.

They spent the next hour recruiting wizards and various magical creatures for the Order. Sirius even managed to befriend Bret with a little help from Kate and half his brownie.

The pair arrived at Mr. Gardener's office just as he finished his paperwork. He smiled up at them. "Oh good, you're here.", he said as he stood and offered them a seat.

Sirius quickly noted that Mr. Gardener standing was more imposing than Mr. Gardener sitting. He was only an inch shorter than the animagus and had a very intimidating build that Sirius was willing to wager was nearly all muscle. Sitting behind the desk, Mr. Gardener had given off a mild mannered and docile appearance, but up close Sirius could see the wolf just under the surface in the older man's eyes.

The werewolf shook Sirius's hand. "Mr. Evans, Jack told me all about you yesterday. It is a pleasure to finally meet you.", he said as he flashed the younger wizard a wolfish grin.

"Bloody hell, you're strong.", Sirius exclaimed before clamping his hand over his mouth.

Mr. Gardener laughed, "Relax, son, we don't bite."

"Thank you, Mr. Gardener.", Sirius replied.

"No son, just call me Bob. None of this Mr. Gardener nonsense.", the older man replied.

"Thank you, Sir. Please call me Orion.", he answered.

Bob smiled and called to Kate. "Katiebug, why don't you go get us some lunch from Antonio upstairs?"

Kate glanced suspiciously at her father. "Alright, Dad.", she stated before leaving the room.

Bob watched his daughter leave the room and then turned to Sirius. "So Mr. Black, what are you intentions with my daughter?"

Sirius blanched. "Sir?", he squeaked.

The werewolf growled. "Are you romantically involved with my little girl, Mr. Black?"

"No, sir. I'm not.", Sirius said as he backed away and reached for his wand.

Bob was faster though and shouted "Expelliarmus", capturing Sirius's wand. "Now tell me. Is it that Mr. Lupin, then?", he asked in a soothing voice.

Sirius looked gobsmacked. "I don't know."

The old werewolf advanced on Sirius again. "Is he sleeping with my baby girl?", he purred. Sirius's eyes got wide and he started to answer when Kate cleared her throat and placed the bag with the lunch order on a side table.

"Yes, I am sleeping with Professor Lupin. No, we have not had sex. Any other questions, Dad?", she asked as she studied her nails for a moment. He father and Sirius were shocked into silence, and hardly noticed when she stated, "Accio Sirius Black's wand". Kate crossed the room and gave Sirius his wand back, stepping between the animagus and Bob. "Is there a problem, father?", she innocently asked.

Bob glared at Kate. "Seems to me there is a problem. Evidently, you are sleeping with some man I've never even heard of."

Kate laughed and mirrored her father's accent. "Well, ya know his name is Mr. Lupin so ya musta heard sumpin." She turned to Sirius, "Orion we are leaving." she said without an accent.

The older man chuckled, "Now calm down Katiebug, this is nothin' to get upset over."

Kate growled at Bob, "Father, I am 30 years old. Stop calling me Katiebug and don't but into my love-life."

Bob snorted. "Now listen here, you are my little girl and I have some say in who you see."

"Yes, you had a say when I was 16. And you would still have a say if you hadn't pushed every unattached male werewolf in the United States and Canada at me over the last 14 years. Just be happy that I'm interested in someone.", Kate said with exasperation weaved into her tone.

Bob straightened. "Edgar was a nice boy and he was local."

Kate threw up her arms. "Edgar was a dimwitted, passive-aggressive bastard, who thought euthanasia was the subject of the newest Lockhart book on the Orient."

The old werewolf relented. "Fine then, Mr. Black tell me about Mr. Lupin."

Kate turned to Sirius. "No, _Mr. Evans_. You are not obligated to tell him anything."

"Really Mr. Black, are you going to let this little pup push you around? It really isn't manly.", Bob drawled.

Kate locked gazes with her father. "Stop playing."

Bob tsked and then smirked at his daughter. "I have no idea what you are talking about sweetheart. I just wanted to have an innocent conversation about Mr. Lupin with Mr. Black. Why would that be so upsetting? Is there something I should know about?", he said in a sickeningly sweet tone.

Kate broke eye contact with her father and headed to the door. "I don't know. Perhaps when you're done playing mind games with Mr. Evans, you can ask me.", she growled.

"Young lady, I resent that remark.", Bob huffed.

"No Papa, more likely resemble it.", she snapped before calming herself. "Dad, this is important. We all know who Mr. Evans is and that you know who Mr. Evans is. He knows about as much about my relationship with Remus as Jack does so you aren't going to learn anything new or make any friends by mentally hunting the poor man.", she said with a hint of disappointment in her voice.

Bob gave her an apologetic look. "I'm sorry sweetheart. I'll behave.", he paused for a moment. "I will behave, if you agree to bring this new beau of yours over to the house tomorrow."

Kate forced a smile. "Whatever you like, Dad."

The older man gave a smug grin. "Well then let's negotiate Mr. Bla... I mean Orion." He nodded at Kate and motioned for them to sit.

An hour later, Sirius had eaten two bowls of pasta and a quarter of a chocolate cake. More importantly, he had convinced Generation Inc. to pledge its support to the Order of the Phoenix in the form of funds, training, weapons, and access to identity services (an office response for making friends safely disappear and hiding enemies reappear). Sirius was also given full permission to recruit as many Generation employees and associates as he wished, along with now having the title of International Security Liaison.

When their meeting concluded, the pair apparated back to Kate's car and stopped at the 7-Eleven before heading to the apartment. Sirius seemed impressed and was smitten with Kate when she bought him a couple bars of chocolate and something called a super big gulp containing a sweet fizzy drink called Mountain Dew.

As Kate opened the door, Sirius bounded inside the apartment causing her to question her choice of soft drinks for the animagus. "So would you like a book to read or a movie to watch?", she asked the bouncing wizard.

"No, I want to talk.", Sirius said as he pulled Kate towards the couch. "Talk with me, Kate. It will be loads of fun, promise."

"Okay.", Kate answered as she settled herself on the couch. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Who is Edgar?", he asked.

Kate sighed. "Edgar is a werewolf, who works at the university. I dated him once as a favor to my father."

"Not your type, huh?" he asked as he landed awkwardly after a rather energetic bounce. "What is your type?", he questioned as he attempted to not fall off the couch.

Kate blushed. "I don't have a type."

"All women have a type. Name three men you greatly admire." Kate shook her head and Sirius vowed not to let up. "Trust me.", he said.

Kate gave him a shy glance. "Ok. My dad, Merlin, and Faramir."

Sirius gave a wicked smile. "Never heard of Faramir, who is he?"

Kate fidgeted, "He's a character from a book based on several historical Wizarding figures. He is a second son and a scholar, a man of honor that refuses power for its own sake."

Sirius scratched his chin in thought. "Hmmm...a werewolf, an English Wizard, and an honorable scholar. The answer of who you fancy is quite obvious." He paused and waggled his eyebrows at Kate. "You fancy me, I knew it. No female can resist the Padfoot charm. What was it my stunning good looks, my dazzling personality, or my shiny black coat?"

Kate held her hand to her forehead and feigned a swoon. "Oh, Mr. Evans! I do declare, you have discovered my poorly masked secret but I must confess that it was your ability to out eat an entire regiment of teenage werewolf boys that has captured my poor misguided heart.", she said in her sweetest Georgia accent.

Sirius barked out a laugh. "I can see why Remus fancies you.", he blurted out. A look of shock washed over Kate's face and he scrambled to save the situation. "You did know Remus fancies you, didn't you?"

Kate blushed. "No, I didn't. I didn't think he..." she broke off and took a deep breath. "I like a lot him, too.", she whispered.

Sirius broke into a huge grin. "So, what about Paige?"

She gave Sirius a grin worthy of a pixie. "She goes through partners too quickly for me. Plus she would probably expect me to put out and I'm really not that kind of werewolf. Then there is the whole children issue, I mean I love Paige and all but she whines if she has to carry a bag down the length of the mall."

Sirius looked awestruck for a moment and Kate laughed. "I think she likes you though, so I don't think you have to worry about it. She has dated tall, dark, and handsome wizards in the past. You would be good for her and Paige wouldn't hurt a fly so you'd be safe." She shifted uncomfortably. "Ok, so she did kill a couple of boyfriends and come to think of it they were both purebloods with dark hair that were over six feet tall, but you'll be fine."

Sirius's jaw dropped. "Really?"

Kate then burst into giggles. "Sorry, but you have to admit you were an easy mark."

Sirius shook his head and let out a deep laugh that had him wiping tears from his eyes. "Who are you? What did you do with Kate Gardener, you know the nice girl from the park? Or even the warrior maiden that supposedly threw Snivellus up against the wall?"

"First, it was a door not a wall. Second, nothing really happened to her, those aspects are still there. I'm just letting you in because I like you." She gave him a sympathetic look. "You poor thing."

Sirius rolled on the floor laughing and the pair fell into a friendly and high-spirited conversation.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**A/N: Well, that is all for today. New chapters will be arriving shortly, so stay tuned for snogging, the return of eruptors, and the introduction of the magical, mystical, sensual, and fantabulous lycanthrope book. As always, thank you to everyone who took the time to read this. And a very special thank you to those that reviewed. **

**Lightning Rain: Thanks for the support. Sorry to hear about the computer, very much a downer. On the upside, Cherry Pepsi makes everything better. Well, either that or morphine, I think it was Cherry Pepsi though. And who WAS kicked out of the scouts for eating a brownie? The world may never know. **

**Sassafras: Thank you for the review, I'm sure it was Hornhead's mind that ran off with your Muse. My mind has been out touring Europe since 2000, searching for Faramir. Bookverse Faramir mind you, none of this blonde, ring coveting, and no scenes with Eowyn shite but I digress. I don't know about the severe blood loss, honestly Kate was dead at the time, she was on the moon, she was on the moon with Steve. And no we aren't from Texas, though we wish we were. Your Ren. Faire is much bigger than ours. We are but three lost souls from Northwestern Arizona and Southeastern Nevada (sighs). **

_**(Hornhead would like to note that she has an entire horde of family in Texas. Also,if you ever find the baton that her mother took away from her at the family reunion that they attended when she was six, please let her know. G )**_

**Surfergurl6:  Thank you for your review, still waiting on the writer's block to kick in as you can see by this chapter. **

**Thank you, thank you, thank you to all our reviewers. We love reviews they are soft and fluffy with lots of white fur. Oh wait, that is Severus's animagus form. Anyway, thank you and goodnight. Prof. Pendragon**


	11. Spice Up the Night

Hello, everyone!!! It's us again. We've brought you yet another fantastic scene of intrigue, mystery, and excitement all the way from our computers!!! Never mind that mine is the biggest hunk of junk I could find, it still let's me type. YAY! Anyway, on with the show.

Chapter 11: Sinking the Flag Ship.

Paige and Remus walked into the apartment and spotted Kate and Sirius talking on the couch. Kate was laughing hysterically as Sirius spun a tale for her amusement. Sirius had his arms spread wide describing something. "And then he started flopping around on the floor like a fish shouting, 'You see this is why I don't eat pork!'" he turned to see Paige and Remus.

He smiled at Paige. "Oh! 'Allo guys." he said meekly as he met Remus's eyes.

Remus's face flushed with anger. "Sirius, what were you telling Kate?" he growled.

Sirius tried to look innocent. "About that one time in third year, you remember?"

Remus scowled "Yes." he hissed. "Why were you telling Kate?"

"Because it was funny." he said with a shrug.

Remus lunged over the coffee table at Sirius, who successfully dodged the attack. This caused Remus to crash into Kate.

She smoothed Remus's hair and kissed the tip of his ear. "Don't worry, I thought it was very noble of you." she whispered. He smiled at her and move to sit next to her on the sofa.

Sirius gave a sly grin. "No harm done, Moony?"

The werewolf sighed, "No harm done, Padfoot."

Paige quirked an eyebrow. "I would like to hear this story sometime with your permission of course." she said gesturing towards Remus.

He nodded. "Perhaps another time."

Paige turned to Kate. "So how did you do?"

Sirius bounded towards Paige. "It was bloody wonderful. We secured funding and training. And at least 15 recruits. Then we had lunch with Kate's Dad, who is a very interesting yet frightening man. And I met a balrog named Bret, and he's one of the recruits." He beamed as he told her of his day, getting more and more involved in the telling. Paige gave an amused smile and nodded as he babbled on. "Then we went to 7-Eleven and Kate bought me a super big gulp containing something called Mountain Dew." Paige shot Kate a death glare but Sirius didn't seem to notice. "And then we came home and started talking." he ended his recap of the days events and sipped on his soda.

Kate chuckled, "How did you two do?"

Paige gave a sideward glance to Remus. "Oh, we did just great. All the women at the office were fawning all over him..."

Remus interrupted, "I'm sure Paige is exaggerating."

Paige gave him an incredulous look. "If I hadn't been there, three of them would have literally thrown themselves at you."

Remus cast a nervous glance at Kate, who shifted uncomfortably on the couch. He let out a low sigh. "It was nothing, Paige." he said as he rubbed his temples. The last thing he wanted was for Kate to think he wasn't interested.

Paige giggled. "They just couldn't get enough of the proper English gentleman. 'Always so nice and sweet, no matter what', they said. I can just hear them now. 'Can I get you something, Mr. Lupin?'; 'How do you like America, Mr. Lupin?'; 'Can I crawl up in your lap and have your babies, Mr. Lupin?' It was absolutely mind boggling."

Kate let out a low growl and clenched her fists. "Why isn't that lovely?" she said through clenched teeth as she stood up and walked towards the door.

Realization flooded over Paige's face and she opened her mouth to rectify the damage, but Sirius nudged her. "Bad idea." he whispered.

She opened her mouth again to speak but then thought better of it. "Same idea." she whispered to Sirius as the pair looked on at the solemn pair of werewolves before them. Paige plastered a smile on her face. "Sirius, why don't we get dinner?" Kate, Remus, why don't you two bring each other up to speed on today's details?" She pulled Sirius to the door and the animagi quickly made their escape.

Remus turned to Kate as the door closed. "What is the matter?", he asked.

"Nothing, everything is wonderful. How was the office?" she enquired careful not to meet his gaze.

"Oh, it was _wonderful_. I managed to get a few recruits. Paige introduced me to some interesting witches that proved to be quite helpful." he said casually as he rose from the couch.

Kate grimaced. "Lovely, just lovely. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself and met so many potential new playmates." she pouted.

Remus let a small smile slip, _She can't be jealous can she? I still might have a chance, boyfriend or no. _he thought. "Kate, why don't you tell what is the matter? I know something's wrong, you are playing with your necklace." he said as he moved to stand next to her.

Kate let the chain drop back down to her chest. "Nothing's wrong, Remus. I'm just being immature." she replied.

"Really? I thought muses didn't act anything less than perfect." he purred as he played with her curls.

"Muse?" she asked as she blushed.

"Oh yes, most definitely a muse. You do inspire me, Kate. You have awakened things that I thought were long dead and I ... I ...", he paused for a moment as the color in his cheeks began to rise. He ran his hand through his hair and looked to the floor. "Anyway, I haven't seen Sirius open up like that since we were in school. And if his reaction is any indication of how well you work with children, you seem to be one of the most remarkable witches of your age." As he finished he tilted her chin up, and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. "But you are avoiding the question, Miss. Why do you think you are acting immature?" he queried.

"I'm just a little jealous that's all." she bashfully replied.

"Jealous? Of what?" he laughed, while congratulating himself on winning Kate's attention.

"I don't know, half the women in Vegas throwing themselves at you is a good start." Kate mumbled.

Remus twirled a piece of Kate's hair around his finger. "Paige is a nice girl. I think she might imagine things occasionally because I didn't see a single woman express interest in me. And even if every woman in Las Vegas threw themselves at me, I would only really want to catch one." He gave her another gentle kiss.

Kate blushed but then paled, when she remember her meeting with her father. "My Dad wants to meet you tomorrow." she timidly stated.

Remus shrugged and pulled her into a hug. "Alright, you know I'd face far worse for you, fair lady."

Kate giggled and he stepped back to look her over. His face broke into a huge grin and he tapped her nose. "You look very snoggable at the moment." he said.

She pulled her face away playfully. "What?"

"I really want to snog you." he said as if explaining a defensive arts maneuver.

"Ok, what is involved in the snog process?" she tentatively asked.

Remus traced Kate's lips with his fingertip. "To begin, it is properly referred to as snogging not the snog process, which sounds slightly disturbing and highly unromantic." He directed towards the couch. "First, take off any restricting clothing." He removed his suit jacket and helped her remove hers, leaving her in a vest, blouse, and skirt and him in a vest, dress shirt, tie, and trousers. "Second, sit down." Kate sat demurely near the corner of the sofa, Remus sat next to her and smiled. "Now, you put your hands here." He placed her hands around his neck. "And I put my hands like this." He put one hand on her shoulder and the other on her hip. "Finally, just relax and think of it as highly involved kissing." he finished.

She opened her mouth to say something but it was quickly lost as Remus captured her lips. He leaned her back on the couch and ran his hands down her sides, eliciting a small moan from her. Remus took advantage of her parted lips and darted his tongue into her mouth as she moved her hands into his hair. He pulled back for a moment so they could catch their breath. He beamed at a flushed and breathless Kate. "That is snogging." he declared.

Kate giggled. "So it's making out."

He feigned a scandalized look for her benefit. "It is not making out, it is snogging. Uncoordinated hormonally driven boys, proper gentlemen snog the ladies they respect and desire."

Kate kissed the tip of his nose. "Really?"

Remus chuckled and ran his hand through his hair. "No, but it sounded better than saying more or less." he said. She laughed and resumed their kiss. The pair then proceeded to study the snogging process.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paige took Sirius to get carry-out from her favorite pizza place, Papa John's. After they had ordered they sat down and waited expectantly for the order to be called. Paige rested her head on his shoulder and Sirius laced his fingers through hers. She laughed. "You know, you ordered enough pizza to feed about ten people. Two extra large Works, is a lot of food."

Sirius frowned. "Hey, I'll eat all of it. Besides, the rest of you are getting one, too."

Paige giggled and shook her head. "You're right, Sirius. The rest of us are getting _one_ pizza. You are going to eat two all by yourself." She closed her eyes and yawned.

Sirius smiled down at her and kissed her forehead. "I need to gain back a lot of weight. I lost so much when I went to... went north of London." He tensed up a little bit and Paige rubbed his belly in a comforting motion.

She chuckled softly. "Well hun, I don't mind. I just think it's funny that you'll eat that much pizza in one meal." Sirius relaxed and felt a bulge in his pocket. He frowned and tried to remember what it was when Paige jumped up and started talking to a young woman working there.

She didn't notice when he pulled his eruptor out of his pocket and smiled. _'Well, this will pass the time somewhat.'_ He thought and shot it into the air. Everyone seemed to stop and stared at him. Paige whipped around, her eyes wide and her face rapidly turning red. She looked at the cardboard tube in his hands and her mouth fell open. All of the workers burst into laughter and Paige forcibly pulled Sirius out of the store.

"What the _hell_ are you doing, Sirius?!" she asked... well, more like demanded. She covered her burning face with her hands and gave a short laugh.

Sirius furrowed his brow and held up the cardboard tube. "I was playing with my eruptor. Is that a problem?"

Paige swiped the tube from his hands and nodded. "Yes, that is a problem. In a crowded restaurant where I know almost everybody, that's a problem!"

Sirius was slightly confused. "Why?"

Paige gave an incredulous laugh and responded, "Sirius, do you know what you were playing with?"

He nodded and sucked on his upper lip. "Yeah, a tampon." Paige grimaced and Sirius cocked his head to the side. "Paige, what's a tampon?"

She groaned in a mixture of frustration and embarrassment. "A tampon is something women use when they are on their period, Sirius! You shot one of those in the store and it landed in a pizza!"

His mouth fell open and his eyes went wide with shock. "You mean, everyone in there knew what that was?" he asked in a small voice. Paige nodded. "I'm not going back in there then."

She folded her arms and glared at him. "Orion Evans, you most certainly will! If I have to go get the pizzas, you have to help me carry them."

He blanched and acquiesced, he had never been so embarrassed in his life as when he went back in and all eyes were on him. Thankfully their order was up and they left a moment later. Before the door closed on their way out, Sirius heard all of the workers start laughing hysterically.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus and Kate were still snogging when the lock on the front door turned over. The pair didn't seem to notice. Kate simply pulled Remus closer and ran her fingers through his tawny locks.

Paige opened the door and froze when she looked over the room and its inhabitants. Both Kate and Remus had removed their jackets and vests, and were in the process of making out on the sofa. "Well, this is just great. Kate gets off and I get utterly embarrassed at Papa Johns." she pouted.

Sirius spoke up. "Can I come in now?" he asked meekly.

She took a few steps forward and Sirius came into the apartment. He set the pizzas down on the library table. He looked toward the couch and stifled a laugh. "Paige, why can't we do that?"

She snorted. "Maybe because you flung a tampon across a restaurant tonight!" Remus shifted moving his hands to Kate's bottom, oblivious to the quarrelling of Paige and Sirius.

"I didn't do it on purpose." Sirius whined.

Paige glanced over at the pair on the couch and rolled her eyes, she picked up a throw pillow and flung it at Kate's head. "Hey snogging beauty, dinner's here." she bellowed as the pillow connected with Kate's head.

Kate pulled away from Remus. "Did you hear something?"

Remus reclined on Kate's lounging form. "No", he responded breathlessly before resuming their kiss.

Paige glared at the pair on the sofa and was about to say something when Jack barged through the front door. "Turtle shatting bastards!" he exclaimed as he slammed the door behind him. He froze as he saw the tableau on the couch. It seemed as if his little Katie; his sweet, innocent, little Katie; his sweet, innocent, virginal, little Katie was being molested by that rogue, that letch, that wolf in gentleman's clothing. Jack jumped the coffee table and forcibly broke the lovers' embrace.

"Get off her, you scoundrel!" he screamed as he pushed Remus on the floor and pulled his pistol.

It took a moment for Kate's passion drunk mind to register what was going on. She jumped to her feet and cast 'petrifictus totalis' on the pirate. Stepping around the now frozen Jack, she helped Remus up and turned to Paige. "When did you get home?" she asked.

Paige put her hands on her hips. "I think somewhere between the first and second orgasms."

Kate blushed furiously. "We were just snogging." she stammered lamely and returned her attention to Jack. "Before, I let you go, you are going to promise not to hurt Remus."

Jack blinked his ascent and Kate unfroze the pirate, who lunged at Remus yet again. "You bastard, I'm going to kill you." he snarled.

Kate sighed and cast another binding spell so Jack could talk but not move. "Alrighty then, let's try this again. Why are you trying to harm Remus?"

Jack scowled at the scoundrel that was molesting his little Katie. "I wasn't going to hurt him, Katie. Everyone knows death doesn't really hurt." he growled but Kate just shook her head at him. "Fine, because that pervert was trying to deflower you on the sofa." he snorted.

Paige giggled. "Sorry, I've already done that to the couch."

Kate rubbed her temples. "We were just kissing, Jack." she sighed.

He glared at her. "You should know better Katie. What would your father say?"

"He already knows we are sleeping together." she calmly replied.

"You miserable letch, you bastard." he roared at Remus. "Come over here and let me bite your throat out like a man! Cradle Robber! Enemy of morality and virtue! Fiend! Animal! Sex Maniac!!" Jack's face was bright red from exertion and rage.

Kate patted Jack's head. "Calm down or you will pass out." She crossed to Remus and took his hand. "I care very much for Remus and if I choose to be intimate with him, it's my choice. End of discussion." she asserted.

"But Katie..." the pirate whimpered.

"Don't 'But Katie,' me. Remus has been a perfect gentleman. Now grow the fuck up or stay out of my way." she growled and released the spell. Jack glared at Remus but knew enough not to challenge Katie when she got like this. He went to his room slamming the door behind him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dinner went off without a hitch. Sirius didn't quite make it through both pizzas, though both he and Remus did make a sizable dent. Paige and Kate went to the kitchen to put the leftovers away and straighten up things, leaving Sirius and Remus in the dining room.

Sirius turned to Remus, who had a pained expression on his face. "What's the matter, Moony?"

Remus carefully cleared his expression. "Nothing, Padfoot. I just need to go to the lavatory."

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, pizza does that to me too sometimes."

Remus gave Sirius a nervous smile. "Right.", he said a little too brightly as he tried to stand up.

Sirius frowned. "No really, Moony. What's wrong?"

Remus sighed. "I would rather not say."

Sirius glared at the werewolf. "I'm your best friend and you can't tell me?"

The werewolf glanced at his friend and resigned to his fate. "Well, Sirius maybe you can help me. I have an extremely painful erection." he said bashfully.

Sirius swallowed hard. "And how exactly do you expect me to help with this?"

Remus furrowed his brow. "What do you do to make it stop? This has been going on for three and a half days now and the usual measures are not proving reliable."

"Well, there is the obvious measure." he laughed.

Remus grimaced. "Trust me, if I use the obvious measure any more, I'm going to come down with carpal tunnel."

"Remus, I'm surprised at you. You're not supposed to only use your hand, that's why you have the erection in the first place." he replied with a smirk.

Remus looked perplexed. "What else would I use?" he asked philosophically.

Sirius's eyes went wide. "Moony, didn't your parents ever give you The Talk? When a boy and a girl really like each other, they get completely starkers and share a 'special hug.'"

Remus groaned. "I know about sex, Padfoot. But I'm asking, what do you think of to get rid of an erection?"

Sirius beamed, "I think it's a good idea to get rid of them only if the situation is right."

Remus glowered. "Get real, Sirius."

The animagus was taken a back. "I am really serious! You don't want to be sinking the flag ship when there is a harbor waiting for you to dock." he lectured.

Remus moved awkwardly toward the door. "Fine, Padfoot."

Sirius sighed. "I think of Azkaban, friend. I think of Azkaban."

Remus gave him a small smile. "Thanks. I'll remember that." And the werewolf headed to the bathroom.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jack opted to have dinner in his room that night but rejoined the group as they settled in to watch another movie. This time it was _Brahm Stoker's Dracula_ staring Gary Oldman.

Kate protectively arranged herself between Jack and Remus, sitting in front of Remus on the floor. Jack ignored the first quarter of the movie, opting to cast death glares at the object of Kate's affections instead. His staring became particularly bad when Remus began stroking her neck and shoulders.

His attention was drawn back to the movie though as a seemingly familiar face appeared on the screen. Jack cast a suspicious look at Sirius and ran to the kitchen. Looking through the cabinets, he retrieved a jar of garlic salt and returned to the living room. Every time the film or Paige distracted Sirius, the sanity-challenged pirate would toss a pinch of the powder on him.

Paige suddenly burst out. "Stop doing that Jack!"

Jack turned to Paige and gave an innocent look. "Doing what? I'm not doing anything, except enjoying this truly educational film."

"What are you throwing at Sirius?" she clarified.

Jack glanced back at Sirius. "Nothing, I'm just enjoying yet another documentary about the monsters of England, since we seem to housing an awful lot of them." He glared at both Remus and Sirius before stomping out of the room.

Wasn't that fun, boys and girls? I just love garlic salt in a love story, just seems to spice everything up. groan from audience What? You don't like my humor? Well then, I'll get on with reviews.

**Sassafras: The creepy thing actually happened to Prof and I. It was at a coffee house in my hometown and then, when we left, they called us creepy, too. I almost did something to get us thrown out just so I could show those two bimbos who's creepy, but didn't. frown I should have. Rhett, unfortunately, ran off with a good friend of Rosi's, his name is Chris. But we'll tell him that you miss him the next time we talk to them.**

**Surefgurl, Lightning Rain, MissMoony, and Siriuszsecretlover; Thank you guys so much for the reviews! We love this stuff. Help us hit 100 by the time this is over. (Prof and I don't think that it's ever going to end, but we're just impatient)**

**Anyway, I know that some of you are wondering where the smut is, well, it's going to be coming up very soon. Some stuff in the ent chapter, although not all of you will appreciate it because I suck at writing smut. So, stay tuned and thank you as always for continuing to read! **


	12. Chocolate frosting is good on anything

**Disclaimer: Sirius, Remus, and Tonks all belong to J.K. Rowling. Jack is a joint custody project between Disney and Prof. Pendragon, who just keeps making him creepier cause no one has seen fit to stop her as of yet. **

**Warnings: This chapter contains sexual language, sexual situations, swearing, mild violence, and frosting. You have been warned, this is an R rated fanfic for a reason. Also this chapter is really fucking long, not just long, not just really long, not just really, really long, it's really fucking long. We're sorry, we were stalling so Rosi could open the next chapter and got carried away. Names have been taken, lives have been spared, and our squirrel is covered in make-up. **

**A/N: Just as a reminder, in our last installment our neon-crossed lovebirds had settled down to watch _Brahm Stoker's Dracula_ and Jack stormed out of room after forming a strange fixation with garlic salt. **

Chapter 12: Don't Eat the Eel.

The group was quite cozy in spite of Jack's early scene and current absence. Paige and Sirius sat next to each other on the sofa and Kate sat on the floor in front of Remus, who was absently plaiting strands of her hair.

They were to the part of the movie, where Van Heilsing beheads Lucy when a knock sounded at the front door making them all jump.

Kate disentangled herself from Remus and rose to answer it. Through the peephole, she saw a petite witch with flamingo pink hair facing the door. Kate pulled out her wand and held it behind the door as she cracked it open. "Can I help you?", she asked in a professional tone.

The woman smiled brightly. "I'm looking for Paige Pierce.", she stated with a bubbly-air.

Kate gave a reassuring smile. "Who may I say is calling?", she queried still blocking the younger witch from viewing the room.

"Just tell her 'Dori' is here to see her, and Moody sends his regards.", she said as she tried to peer around Kate.

"One moment please.", Kate said with a curt nod and closed the door. She moved back into the room and looked at Paige. "There is a Dori to see you.", she calmly stated, while still holding her wand.

Paige thought for a second. "Dori, Dori, Dori. I don't know any Doris in America.", she pondered.

"She said Moody sends his regards.", Kate said casually.

The realization of who was at the door hit Paige like a ton of bricks. She threw open the door in excitement, making Kate cringe. 'Dori!", she exclaimed and hugged the laughing witch. "What are you doing in America?" she asked.

Dori produced a letter and a thick tome with yellowing pages. "Dumbledore sent me. He said that you were being rather rough on Snape."

Paige giggled and dragged her inside. "Dori!" she exclaimed happily. "This is everybody. Everybody this is Dori." She took the letter from her old friend and handed it to Kate, who promptly opened it and began to scan its contents.

Dori smiled. 'Snape was right, she is as bad as Moody."

Remus had walked over to where the girls were standing. "So it's Dori now, is it?"

Dori glared at him. "Wotcher Remus. If you call me Dori again, I'll hex you. Only Paige can call me Dori."

Paige laughed and Remus raised his hands in defense. "Fine, Nymphadora have it your way.", he said with a cheeky grin.

Sirius crossed the room and embraced his cousin. "Good to see you again, Tonks."

She smiled. "Well, someone knows what to call me."

"I know what to call you, but you don't like it.", Paige quipped.

Remus turned to Tonks. "Oh come on, Tonks. Nymphadora is a lovely and endearing name for a beautiful girl.", he said wrapping her in a friendly hug.

Tonks scoffed, "Yeah, until you have people like Paige around you."

Paige's face fell. "What did I do?", she asked innocently.

Tonks gave her an admonishing glare worthy of McGonagall. "How about how you convinced me to let you call me Dori?"

Paige grinned. "Oh yeah. Nothing like being called Nympho for a week straight to change someone's mind."

Sirius and Remus burst out laughing. Paige giggled and gave Kate a sideward glance. Kate had plastered a neutral expression on her and was tightly gripping the letter, which was starting to singe around the edges from the anger radiating off the werewolf.

"Hey Katie, help me find a place for this on my bookshelf." Paige chirped and dragged her down the hall. Kate avoided Remus's gaze as she followed.

"What's wrong, Kate?", Paige asked as she closed her door.

"Nothing. I think I need to work through some things at my Dad's house.", she started as she moved toward the door.

Paige paused for a moment. For Kate, working through things at her Dad's house usually meant deforesting half of Mount Charleston in an effort to restock the firewood stores of Clark County, which meant Kate was mad enough to be destructive. Paige stopped Kate from heading out the door. "Oh no, you don't. You aren't going to run away from me right now."

Kate sighed. "I'm not running away from you. I am simply removing myself from a situation where my presence is not required and is in fact rather dangerous.", she explained.

She stared at Kate for a moment_. Ahh...Fuck,_ Paige thought. _Kate is going to leave me here with the pirate and the wizards, while probably avoiding the apartment for the next two weeks just because she thinks she might hurt somebody._ "What on earth are you talking about?', Paige exclaimed.

Kate sat on Paige's bed. "Look Paige, I'm far too volatile for the little tea party going on in the front room. I think it would be best for all parties, if I stayed with Dad until Remus and Sirius head back to England with Ms. Tonks."

Paige nodded, "So this is about Remus. I thought you two were getting along really well?"

Kate paled, "We are...I mean were...I never said it had anything to do with Remus or that little pink haired siren in the front room.", she blurted out quite flustered.

Paige nodded again. "Ah-ha. So what about this pink haired siren is not bothering you?"

"Nothing is bothering me.", she pouted.

"I never said anything was bothering you, but what about Dori isn't bothering you?", Paige asked.

"Why would anything about Ms. Tonks bother me? I mean really she's petite, vivacious, beautiful girl. Why would anything bother me?" Kate implored in her sweetest voice as she ripped the letter from Dumbledore.

"Oh I don't know. You are just beating up defenseless pieces of parchment." She calmly replied.

"Reparo", Kate whispered and handed the letter over to Paige. "Here, good as new. Now I must be going."

Paige shrugged. "Running away from him isn't going to solve anything."

"No, but it will make me feel better. I won't be standing in his way. He can just pick someone else, if he hasn't already, and be done with it.", she said matter-of-factly.

Paige frowned. "He doesn't want to pick anyone else, Kate."

Kate pinched the bridge of her nose. "Really? Paige, I have yet to see any evidence to the contrary. According to you, he had half the office throwing themselves at him. And tonight, he is hugging and flirting with a little pink haired girl in the front room. I'm a thirty-year old lycanthrope, who resigned herself to a fate of being loved solely by small children and animals a long time ago. I'm not going to ruin Remus's chances at happiness or the likelihood of Sirius's and Remus's mission being a success just because I can't keep my emotions in check."

Paige sat down next to her and raised her voice. "I don't know how to get it through your head, Kate. I don't know why you feel threatened by other women, the man is completely infatuated with you and could care less about anyone else."

Kate sighed, "Sorry, Paige. I just can't do this."

Paige stood up and placed her hands on her hips. "Fine, I'll let you out the front door as soon as you explain to Remus the real reason why you are leaving or I'll hex you into the middle of next week. Oh, and I'll make sure your clothes disappear when you get there."

Kate quirked an eyebrow and acquiesced to Paige's demands. "Alright, I'm not leaving. Are you happy now?"

Paige nodded. "Could you wait here, I have to got get something?" Kate shrugged and Paige disappeared into the hall. She went into the living room. "Remus, Kate would like to have a word with you in my room."

Remus nodded and headed to Paige's room. He entered to find Kate lounging on the bed. "Paige, said you wanted to speak with me?", he said.

Kate's eyes got wide. _Memo to self, never tell your friend anything regarding your love life ever again, _she thought right before calming her expression. "No Remus, I'm fine and I didn't mention anything to Paige about needing to talk to you. Maybe we should go back to the other room.", she said in the voice she reserved for emotionally charged clients and dreaded co-workers and headed toward the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paige stifled a laugh and waved for Sirius and Tonks to follow her. She put her finger to her lips and whispered "Follow my lead."

She stopped in front of her door and pulled her wand. Sirius and Tonks exchanged a look before copying her move. Just then the door flew open, and Kate faced the group of armed witches and wizard.

Paige smiled. "Get back in there and talk to him."

Kate growled and pulled her wand. Paige laughed. "Watch it Kate, there are three of us and one of you. All three of us have trained under Moody in one form or another, and you aren't looking to hurt anyone remember."

The werewolf took a moment to rethink her position and withdrew her wand. She straightened to her full height so she towered over Paige and Tonks. "Karma, Paige.", she calmly stated as she closed the door. She could get past them, but not without causing major damage.

Kate went back into the room and sat on the bed. Remus followed her, "I guess Paige wants you to talk?", he said.

"It seems something has come up and I'm going to stay with my Dad for the next few weeks.", she said.

Remus's face dropped and he held her hand out of concern. "Is everything alright?"

Kate blanched, "Everything is fine. I just think with this much company at the house, it would be best if I wasn't in the way."

"Company? You mean Nymphadora?" he questioned. Kate nodded and moved to stand, but Remus pulled her back on to the bed. "Do you think there is something going on between me and Tonks?"

Kate stared at the bedspread. "She is quite lovely, Remus. I don't have any hard feelings" She stood up again and moved to the door. She stopped when she heard Remus laughing, she turned to see him wiping tears from his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, dearest, but Tonks?" he managed to get out before laughing again.

"It's not funny, Remus." Kate admonished.

"Oh yes, it is! In fact, if you knew Tonks, I could guarantee you would be beside yourself with laughter.", he said as he stood next to her.

Remus brushed his fingertips down Kate's cheek. "Forgive me, if I find you more my type."

Kate quirked an eyebrow. "Your type?"

Remus let out a low chuckle. "Oh yes, you are very much my type.", he said raking his eyes over her. "You are one of the loveliest creatures , I have ever seen." He murmured sounding almost reverent. She ducked her head out of shyness, and he tilted her chin up. A hint of sadness crept into his voice. "Don't ever hide yourself, Kate. You quite precious and I am only sorry that I met you too late.", he said in a whisper before stepping back and heading for the door.

Kate followed him and tapped his shoulder. "Why are you too late? Is there someone else?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm a bachelor by fate. I meant you already have someone."

Kate looked lost. "I have someone?"

"Paige said you have a boyfriend.", he replied, trying to coax himself away from her. _She's too much of a temptation, its better not to bait fate_., he thought.

"She what?", Kate demanded.

Remus straightened. "She said you have a boyfriend. I understand, Kate. I'm just sorry you were already taken." Kate just blinked, her face showing her shock but he nervously continued. "Paige told me when I asked to see a picture of you."

Kate let out an angry growl and her eyes flashed with something that wasn't quite human. "I'll be back, I need to have a word with Ms. Pierce.", she announced as she walked to the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paige smiled smugly as Kate shut the door. She led Sirius and Tonks back into the living room. "Well, that went well.", she stated happily.

Sirius gave her a confused look. "Why are they in your room and why did we just force Kate to talk to Remus?"

"Ask Remus in the morning.", she replied slyly as she opened the book. After reading a bit, Paige said "It's a book on werewolves."

Sirius restarted the movie and Tonks joined him in watching it. Occasionally, he glanced over at Paige and the book. 'What language is that?", he finally asked.

Paige distantly replied "Old Norse."

Tonks let out a short laugh. "She's gone now, Sirius. No use trying to talk to her."

Sirius looked from the book to Paige as she turned yet another page. "She can read Old Norse?"

Paige smiled. "Uh-huh, Ancient Greek too." She turned the page, her eyes went wide, and she let out a strangled yelp. Sirius looked over and let out a barking laugh. While Tonks clamored to see what they were looking at, knocking over a glass of water in the process.

Tonks looked at the book. "Now there's a pose I've never seen before."

Sirius gazed at the book in admiration. "What exactly is this, Paige?"

Paige grinned, 'Evidently the Werewolf Kama Sutra.", she said wickedly

Tonks cackled. "Well, they look happy. Though, why would Dumbledore send you a Werewolf Kama Sutra book?"

Paige raised an eyebrow. "I guess my reputation proceeds me."

"Yeah, but why werewolves? I mean Remus is gayer than the Queen's hat on Easter." Tonks said with a giggle.

Paige cocked an eyebrow. "Oh, really? That's not what I found out last night."

Sirius looked up. "What?! But I thought..."

Paige gave him a silencing glance and turned back to Tonks. "Really, he's not gay at all."

Tonks quirked an eyebrow. "Really? I've been throwing myself at him for over a year and the most I've gotten is a pat on the head and a quick hug."

Paige sighed. "Yeah, well you didn't approach him the right way."

"And what way would that be? I tried everything, short of molesting him.", she replied. "I mean, the man's so British it's like he's dead from the neck down."

Sirius sat up. "Hey! I resent that!" Tonks simply shrugged in response to his dismay.

Paige giggled. "Well, ask Kate some time, she could tell you."

Tonks looked unimpressed. "Your roommate? No offense, Paige. I'm sure she' s a sweet bird but she' s stiffer than McGonagall."

Paige smirked. "Oh, you have to know Katie to get her to open up. Right, Sirius?"

"Right." he chirped

"I'm sure she's wonderful." Tonks said while rolling her eyes. "It's just that half the women in the Order, and that's not including Hogwarts' staff, have been trying to get into Remus's pants for years. I very much doubt your roommate can pull it off in four days."

Paige and Sirius burst into laughter and Paige gasped out, "Oh, she did that the first night."

Sirius laughed even harder and said, "Uh huh, she got him into a sarong."

"Let me guess, he was wounded?" Tonks said with an exasperated sigh. "Really, you two. If nothing else, I know Remus wouldn't willing take off his clothes for anyone. I'm surprised he wasn't in his jacket, vest, and full robes when I arrived. Honestly, between your stories and Snape, you'd think the man had gone mental."

Paige shook her head. "No, really, we heard them. He had to take off his trousers and put on a sarong, but apparently he took off his pants, too."

Sirius said, "Yes he did, we both saw that for our own eyes, didn't we, luv?"

Paige giggled. "Yes we did. Kate is a lucky girl."

"I'm sure she is Paige, I just don't believe..." Tonks paused for a moment. "You saw it? I mean you saw his equipment?"

Paige started laughing so hard that she couldn't breathe and Sirius stayed silent.

After a minute or so, Paige calmed down enough to answer her. "He doesn't know how to wear a sarong. Like I said, Kate is a very lucky girl."

Tonks leaned in closer to Paige. "I want details. Do you have any idea how many girls would kill for this information?", she said with a wicked gleam in her eyes.

Paige shook her head. "I am not going to tell you until you promise me that you won't pass the information on."

Sirius groaned. "Do we have to discuss Remus's bits? We do have a very informative book to look at."

Paige responded, "Then look at the book." Sirius took the book from her and started examing the text.

"I swear on Moody's good eye, that I will not share this sacred information." Tonks said solemnly.

Paige eyed her for a moment, weighing her sincerity and leaned in close so that Sirius couldn't hear. "It was at least five inches and it was soft.", Paige whispered into her ear.

Tonks' eyes lit up. "Wow. I never knew the old boy had it in him."

Paige raised an eyebrow. "Well, he does have it in him, most definitely. I caught a section in the book stating that the lycanthropy makes them thicker, too. Lucky Kate, huh?"

"Very lucky, Kate, indeed." Tonks smirked. "Though so will be the girl that is there to pick up the pieces when he returns home without his mousy school teacher.", she finished, while flipping her hair creating long brown tresses.

"Don't talk about Kate that way." Paige glared at her. "Werewolves mate for life so don't think of trying because you'll only get embarrassed."

"Oh, don't be that way Paige." Tonks said with a giggle. "I wasn't insulting your friend, she just doesn't seem the sex goddess type and if she is as docile as Remus is I really don't have anything to worry about do I?"

Paige contiued to glare at her. "You know what, Dori,you go ahead and hit on him in front of her, we'll see how docile she really is."

Just then Kate threw open the bedroom door causing it to slam against the hallway wall with such force that the entire apartment shook. Paige grabbed the book from Sirius and hid it under a couch cushion.

Kate barreled down the hall and burst into the living room, wand pointed at Paige with her hair flying in every direction. Paige bit back a laugh at Tonks' expression.

The air crackled around Kate as she spoke in a dangerous whisper. "Paige, what did you tell Remus this afternoon?"

Paige giggled. "Well, I told him not to eat the eel?"

Kate paused, the sharp edges of her tempest fading in confusion. She furrowed her brow. "What?"

Paige bounced slightly. "I told him not to eat the eel."

She shook her head and pressed two fingers to her forehead to block out the imagery currently flooding her mind. 'Why? What?", she managed to stammer.

Jack took this opportunity to pass through the living room and go to the kitchen, where he grabbed a trash bag and hurried from the room unwilling to get caught in the crossfire. No one thought very much about it though, because Paige was clearly enjoying her little game with Kate and Tonks, and Kate was trying to figure out how, where, and why Remus would have eaten an eel.

Kate huffed. "Well, where were you?"

Paige blinked. "At the office."

The werewolf let out a low growl and turned to Remus. "When did Paige tell you not to eat the eel?"

Remus stifled a laugh. "At the Japanese Restaurant."

Kate cocked her head relieved but still furious at Paige. "Why in the name of all that is good in this world, did you tell Remus that I have a boyfriend?

Paige looked confused for a moment and then realized what Kate was talking about. "Oh yeah, that. 'Cause you do."

Kate gave Paige a death glare. "Paige Gwendolyn Pierce, since when have I ever had a boyfriend?"

Paige grinned widely at Remus. "I don't know, when did you two start sleeping in the same bed?"

Tonks let out a small gasp and Sirius chuckled.

Remus was gobsmacked for a moment. He tried to grasp what had just been said. _I am Kate's boyfriend, but I don't want to be her boyfriend. Boyfriends were schoolboys that were easily replaced. I will not stand by and be replaced. If she isn't spoken for than by Merlin, I am going to claim her and I will be her mate_, he thought. He straightened to his full height and glared at Paige, "I'm not her boyfriend.", he growled.

Kate looked taken a back. _Great, he doesn't want to be my boyfriend. What does he want then?, _she thought as her heart sank. She quickly masked her feelings and spoke. "Remus is not my boyfriend, Paige. And he has never said that he was or that he wanted to be.", she stated coolly.

Paige raised an eyebrow. "If you two aren't together, what are you?"

The werewolves looked at each other for a moment. Kate shrugged. "He's my...umm...he's my Remus...I guess", she stammered out.

Remus smiled and felt strangely giddy about her answer. "Yes, I'm her Remus.", he concurred and Kate let out the breath she was holding.

Sirius smirked. "Careful mate, that could be a body part." Paige and Tonks started laughing.

The werewolf folded his arms across his chest and glared at Sirius. "Sod off, Padfoot.", he snarled.

Sirius cringed, hearing the wolf that close to the surface was never a good sign with Remus. "Sorry Moony, just trying to lighten the mood."

Moony turned and stalked down the hallway to Kate's room, slamming the door behind him. Kate shuddered as the door slammed.

Tonks stood up, "I think I will just go and comfort him.", she said brightly.

Kate stepped in front of the metamorphmagus. "Accio wand." She stood there with a feral smile plastered across her face twirling the smaller witch's wand. Kate stopped and bent down to look Tonks in the eye. "Ms. Tonks, you're association with my roommate will only win you so much immunity within my domicile. Might I suggest that you return to England tonight, unless you wish to enjoy the rest of your stay decomposing in a mine shaft. I mean after all, it is an awfully big desert and you are an awfully small human.", she said as if speaking to a child.

"What?", Tonks squeaked.

"In the future Ms. Tonks, I would appreciate if you did not attempt to claim beings that do not belong to you. As Professor Lupin has agreed, he's my Remus. My Remus as in not yours so until he says otherwise, he is mine." Kate continued in her best school marm voice. "I don't share well, Ms. Tonks. Therefore, I think it would be in your best interest, if you did not chase after my Remus. Do we have an understanding?" Tonks nodded. Kate tossed the wand to Sirius and gave a warm smile. "Glad to hear it, I hope you have a pleasant evening in our lovely city. Sirius, please return the wand to your cousin when she has left the apartment and not before. Goodnight." With that Kate turned and walked down the hall.

Tonks paused for a moment. "Let me guess, she's a werewolf as well?", she said in awe. Paige just laughed. "Fuck me, she is worse than Moody.", Tonks exclaimed before collapsing in a chair.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kate found Remus spread out on the bed with his face buried under the pillows. She sat next to him. "Aren't you a little old to be acting angsty?"

Remus moved the pillows to glare at her and gave a warning growl. Kate whimpered in response and ducked her head, he stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. She paused for a moment and kissed his palm before laying her head on his chest.

After what seemed like an eternity, Remus finally spoke. "I am not angsty.", he snarled.

Kate couldn't help herself, she laughed into his chest. "Are you sure? You gave a pretty good impression of Heathcliffe out there, but then I don't have room to talk." She gave a small sigh and continued. "I've been giving a pretty good impression of Jane Eyre the past few days." Remus gave another growl but Kate snuggled closer. "What's the matter?", she asked in a soft whimper.

He gave a grim laugh. "I wish I knew. One minute everything is perfect, the next minute I just want to rip someone's throat out." She nodded in understanding and he continued. "Everything is just moving so fast and I don't want it to slow down. I just don't know what to do.", he ended in exasperation.

Kate sat up and looked down at him. "And when you put it into words, the reality of the matter seems quite chaotic and violent. Don't feel too bad, you have yet to threaten any of my friends, which is more than I can say for myself."

Remus quirked an eyebrow. "Who?" he asked, quite surprised Kate would become possessive.

"Ms. Tonks and I had a miscommunication but I think things are settled now." she stated casually.

"What happened?" he queried.

"Oh nothing. Ijustthreatenedherandimpliedthatifsheevermadeaplayforyouwhile

youstillwantedtobemineIwoulddisposeofherbodyinanabandonedmineshaft.", she mumbled under her breath. Remus laughed and kissed the top of her head. She moved to get off of the bed.

He grabbed her hand. "Can I hold you, please? I just don't want to loose you right now." She nodded and lay back next to him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

All was quiet in the little living room until Tonks stood up. "Well, as scary and entertaining as that was, I really have to get back to England." She gave Sirius and Paige a lop-sided smile. "I have to work in a few hours." She embraced Sirius and Paige. "It was good to see you, cousin. I'll see you back in London soon I hope with a huge list of people you've recruited over here."

Sirius laughed and then said, "Well, where else are we recruiting from? India? China?"

Tonks stopped. "Well, India had a few promising people, China went nutters when we suggested it and quite a few virtually threw themselves at Moody when he went. Um, Charlie has gotten around ten people so far... and I think Bill and Fleur are getting the veelas to join. Other than that I don't know."

Paige bit her lip. "Have you tried elsewhere in the U.S? I think you'd do well in Texas, I'll get Bob to look into it."

Tonks quirked an eyebrow. "Who's Bob?"

Sirius piped up, "Kate's really tall werewolf dad. He threatened me today when he thought that I was Kate's boyfriend."

Tonks raised her eyebrows and nodded. "Good to know. I'll make a mental note to never date Kate."

Paige giggled. "Well, since both of you are heterosexual females I don't think there was much of a problem to begin with. I'll tell Kate that you aren't interested in her though. Don't worry, I'll try not to break her heart too much."

Tonks laughed. "You do that. I'll see you two later, ok? Bye." Sirius gave her back her wand and she apparated out of the house, leaving Sirius and Paige to look at each other and smile.

Paige yawned and went down the hall. "Alright, let's get to bed, I have a full day tomorrow and I think we both need sleep." Sirius nodded and followed her to his bedroom where she sat on the bed. He plopped down on the floor and sighed. "Well, I guess I'd better switch forms so that I can be more comfortable on the ground."

Paige stifled a smile. "Yep, I guess you should. Wouldn't want a crick in your neck tomorrow."

Sirius pouted. "You know, Paige, a good hostess would do anything to make her houseguests more comfortable. Can't I sleep in your bed... _please?_"

Paige giggled at him as he gave her his trademark puppy dog eyes and bit her lip. "Um, no. I guess I'm just not a very good hostess, am I? Anyway, what ELSE can I do to make you more comfortable?"

Sirius thought for a minute, deciding she truly did want him to be happy, and smiled. "An extra blanket would be nice."

Paige hopped up and pulled out a large plastic bin and put it on the bed. She opened it up and pulled out a large blue quilt and wrapped it around him. "Is this better?" Sirius nodded and she sat down in front of him. "Well, good, because I made this quilt and it's one of my favorites."

Sirius inspected the blanket for a moment, reveling at its warmth and softness. "You made this? That's amazing!"

Paige shrugged. "Well, I grew up in a home where everyone knew how to sew. This was my first quilt, I made it when I was twelve."

Sirius hugged it around him and smiled at her. "Why did you all know how to sew?"

"Because my mom owns a dress making shop. She'll make anything. It's kind of a dying art, which is sad. Women go in there and tell her what they want and she makes it. It's especially popular for wedding dresses, as most women know more or less what they want and can't find it in a price range that's comfortable for them."

Sirius noticed her shivering and opened the quilt to invite her in. She gratefully accepted and crawled into his lap. "That's better. Has anyone ever told you how comfy you are?"

Sirius snorted. "Are you sure? Let me move around a little, I bet I'll poke you with my ribs."

Paige looked up at him. "What?"

Sirius responded, "Azkaban doesn't exactly help a person's physique, luv."

He shuddered and she stroked his chest, making him relax somewhat.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Sirius, I find you extremely attractive."

Sirius pulled her away from him and smiled when she pouted. "I'm malnourished, I'm rude, short-tempered, and insecure but good at hiding it. I'm hunted all over Europe; it's only a miracle that they're not looking for me here. My entire family hates me more than you could imagine. I've let down every single friend I've ever had, my godson still believes that I'm dead. And to top it all off, I'm probably somewhat insane due to all of those years in Azkaban. You sit for a minute and think of all of that. If you still find me attractive after that, then you're crazier than I thought."

Paige fell into a thoughtful silence while Sirius waited for an answer. She leaned up and gave him a feather-light kiss that turned into a more insistent and passionate one. "Does that answer your question?"

He put his hands on her hips and rubbed her sides. "Are you sure? You really haven't gotten to know me fully yet."

She smiled at him after a few minutes and snuggled back into him. "Alright, fair's fair. Now it's my turn. I'm a bitch, impulsive, callused, extremely ill tempered, and as Kate puts it, I have non-traditional sexual morals. I treat my family far worse than they deserve. I usually end up walking all over my boyfriends. I spend money entirely too frivolously. My personal best, though, would have to be leaving a guy at the altar. What do you think about me?"

Sirius cocked an eyebrow. "You've left a guy at the altar?"

Paige sighed. "Yes I have, four years ago." She very visibly tensed and hid her face in his chest.

Sirius said, "Would this be Erik, then?" Paige lifted her head and Sirius gave her a reassuring smile.

Her eyes went wide and she grimaced. "You've heard about him?" she asked in a small voice.

Sirius nodded. "Well, Kate mentioned a little about him, not as much as you just told me though."

She put her head back down and hugged him. "It wasn't my finest moment, but I stand by my decision."

She stood up and grinned. "Come on, I have a feeling both of us could use a little chocolate."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus was very relaxed, Kate had a calming effect on him and at the moment he would be quite content to hold her for the rest of the night. Between the warmth of their bodies and the closeness of the full moon, Kate began to nod off.

She was alerted, when she glanced at the clock and noticed how late it was. As she turned to get up, Remus pulled her closer. "Remus, I'm not a teddy bear. I need to get up." she giggled.

Remus gave a contented sigh. "Hmm...I think you could be a teddy. You are soft and warm. Not to mention, you are very comforting." Kate squirmed in his arms, "Not to forget, I am in need of a good teddy. However, there are some things I would never like to do to you that no respectable teddy should witness." he said in a husky voice.

Kate stilled in his arms. "Moony, I need to get our potion and I would like to sleep in a nightgown tonight."

Remus reluctantly let her up. "Come right back." he whispered.

She nodded and grabbed a nightgown out of her dresser. She changed in her closet, coming out in her ankle length, long sleeve, high-collar muslin nightgown. She left the room and headed towards the kitchen.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She and Sirius went into the kitchen and she started rummaging around in the cupboards. "So, what brought about this little journey into insecurity anyway?"

Sirius furrowed his brow and leaned against the counter. "I don't know. Well, I guess it's something that's been nagging at me since that first day in the park. I never really thought about it before then."

Paige cursed under her breath and then spoke louder. "It has to be here somewhere! I know I saw another one in here when I got that other jar out a week ago." She moved to a different cupboard and immediately pulled out a white plastic container. She held it out victoriously. "Bum ba da bum!"

Sirius felt a smile creep across his face. "What am I looking at, Paige?"

She opened it up and tore off the foil, revealing a smooth brown substance. "Chocolate frosting, want some?" Sirius shrugged and watched as Paige dipped a finger in before doing the same. Paige sucked the frosting off her finger and grinned at Sirius before getting more and wiping it down the bridge of his nose.

Sirius had been in the process of getting more himself and froze, sending Paige convulsing into giggles. He looked down at the brown blob, making his eyes cross and Paige's giggles turned into all-out laughter. Sirius gave her a reproachful look and subtly dug his finger deeper into the frosting as he stated, "Oh, very mature Paige."

She sobered up some and moved right in front of him. Sirius saw his chance and pounced. He used his clean hand and a few well-practiced moves to send her to the floor. He sat on top of her and started smearing frosting all over her face as she shrieked and tried to wriggle free.

Sirius knew she wouldn't be able to, having pinned down the other Marauders and even Snape several times before. He grinned down at her and got more frosting to coat her face. Paige, for the most part, was laughing so hard she couldn't even breathe. She did manage to gasp out, "Dammit, Sirius! I would have cleaned your nose off!"

Sirius's grin went even wider and he set the frosting down. "You know, Paige, you're absolutely right. I think I'll be just as nice and do the same for you." He then grabbed her wrists and pinned them to the floor, making her gasp in surprise. He leaned over her and waggled an eyebrow before licking her face from chin to forehead and sat back. Paige tried to glare at him but was laughing too hard and shouted, "Sirius Black, get off of me and for God's sake stop licking my face!"

Sirius shook his head and started licking her with earnest when Kate walked into the kitchen. He froze, mid-lick and winked at her before continuing.

Kate stifled a giggle. "Uh, hi Paige... Sirius. I take it I need to pick up frosting in the morning?" Kate stepped over the pair as she headed to the cabinet for the Wolfsbane.

Paige tried to bite Sirius but missed and growled, "Dammit, Kate! Help me!"

Kate set the potion down in the cauldron and kneeled down next to Paige. She licked her forehead, then spit it out into her hand and made a disgusted face. "I guess I don't like girls."

Sirius sat back. "Then I guess I'm not that lucky after all. Can you get me a glass of water? This stuff makes me thirsty."

Kate rinsed her hand off in the sink and brought Sirius the water. He took it, freeing Paige's hand.

Kate started pouring the potion into the coffee cups and looked over at the pair. "Remember, Sirius, constant vigilance."

Sirius didn't have time to think about the meaning of this as he tipped the glass back. Paige wasn't one to miss an opportunity and pushed the glass all the way up, drenching Sirius and herself. He sputtered and looked down at her smug expression. "Well, this makes me glad that you're wearing a white T-shirt. The blue lace on top of the black is a nice combination. Can I see more?" Paige punched him in response.

Kate chuckled. "On that note, I'll leave you two love birds alone." and left.

Paige screamed "Traitor!" at Kate and started beating on Sirius's chest.

Paige growled when she heard Kate shout "Karma" from the hall.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kate returned to the room to find Remus in his pajamas lounging on the bed. He looked up at her. "You look ravishing.", he complimented.

She laughed and walked towards him. "Sweet talk all you want. You still have to take this.", she said and handed him a mug full of potion.

Remus downed the vile concoction in one shot and handed the mug back to Kate. She took her own dose of the potion and banished mugs to the kitchen.

Settling back into bed, Remus spooned behind Kate and wrapped his arms around her. "You do look lovely." he finally said.

Kate giggled, "I think you've finally lost it. I look like a conservative version of Mary Poppins. I mean, you can't see anything. I might as well become the poster girl for virtuous Victorian attire." He chuckled and licked the shell of her ear causing her to let out a soft whimper.

"Miss Gardener, you have no idea how much I've always wanted my own Mary Poppins." He shifted, pinning her under him. "Now that I've taken my medicine, will you give me something sweet?"

"I thought you were a gentleman?", Kate said as she wriggled to get some leverage.

"I am always a gentleman and trust me when I say gentlemen like me are...Oh no, you don't." he jokingly admonished as she tried to flip their positions.

Straddling her hips, he unbuttoned her collar exposing her neck, placing a kiss at each new bare space. "I quite like this nightgown actually, it leaves a lot to the imagination." he said with a twinkle in his eyes. Then he rolled back on to his side and nudged her to spoon up against him again.

Remus brushed his hand down her side. "I like that you are modest, it leaves a lot to the imagination and I find it very feminine. I could take hours slowly exposing every delicious inch of skin to find out what lies beneath all your wrapping." he said as he drew lazy circles on her hip.

Kate felt like her whole body was on fire. Every time Remus growled in her ear, she felt a shock of electricity trace the length of her spine and coil like a serpent in her womb. "So what am I then, a muse, teddy bear, or a present?" she managed to stammer out.

He continued his ministrations, wrapping his leg around her thigh and sprawling his hand across her stomach. "You are Kate and I would be quite happy to have you. I want to know every bit of you." he growled as his erection pressed into her bottom. She felt as if she was going to burst out of her skin, every inch of her screamed to be touched.

Remus didn't know how much more he was going to be able to take, but he needed to tease her, he needed to make her crave him like he craved her. He ground his hips into her and nipped at her ear and neck. "Gods Kate, I want you so much. I need to pleasure you, please Kate." he pleaded. She stiffened and turned in on herself, rolling into a ball.

"Remus, I think we need to talk." she said meekly.

"What's wrong, I thought you were enjoying this?" he asked.

"I am, I'm enjoying it a lot. It's just." she paused and took a deep breath. "Remus, I'm a virgin. I've never gone further than a third kiss with anyone before you and this is definitely going too fast." she managed to get out before loosing her courage.

He was silent for a moment and protectively pulled her back towards him. "Nothing to worry about, I can wait until you are ready." he said gently.

"Thank you." Kate replied and nestled into his arms.

"Good night, dearest." he whispered and tried not to think of his current plight as they fell asleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius set the empty cup down and grabbed her wrist, pinning it to the floor again. He bent down to kiss her but stopped short of her face. "You know, I really did like that bra." Paige tilted her head up and captured his lips in a kiss.

Sirius smiled. "Ligo." Paige's arms were suddenly fastened to the floor and she gasped in surprise.

Sirius popped his fingers and stated, "Much better." He smiled evilly down at his captive. "Hmm, what to do with you? A problem easily solved by one such as myself." He murmured.

Paige laughed. "Sirius, I didn't know you were into bondage?"

Sirius climbed off of her and ran a finger down her side, making her twitch at the tickling sensation. "Oh I'm not, really. But it certainly does help when I plan on tickling someone." He traced a path to the inside of her thigh and stopped. He looked into her eyes, issuing a challenge and Paige shook her head vehemently. He cocked his head to the side and asked, "No? Why shouldn't I?"

Paige's eyes went wide and she searched for an answer. "Uhhhhhhm, because I'm asking you nicely?" Sirius scoffed and Paige continued. "Because I know where you sleep?" He shook his head. Paige thought for a second and gave him a mischievous smile. "Because I will grant you one wish?"

Sirius cocked an eyebrow. "Anything I wish?" Paige nodded. "Hmm, well that does sound like a good idea. Sure, why not?" He helped her to her feet and pulled her close. "Now for my wish..." Paige bit her lip and waited for the obvious answer. Sirius gave her an impish grin, though, and said, "I'm going to sleep in your bed tonight and you're going to sleep on the floor in the guest room."

Paige's mouth dropped open and she whined, "Sirius, that is _not_ the type of wish you were supposed to make! Can you pick another one instead?"

Sirius's smile quickly went from impish to sweet and he kissed her forehead. "Well then, let me sleep with you tonight." Paige raised an eyebrow and Sirius put a finger to her lips. "Shh, let me explain. I won't touch you or try to shag you; I just want to sleep with you. I've been alone for so long and it feels so good not to be anymore that, well, I don't think I can handle going back to that."

Paige nodded. "Because of Azkaban?" Sirius shuddered and she held him close. "Of course you can. Is this why you tried to convince me earlier?"

Sirius sighed and smiled half-heartedly. "Yes, but I didn't tell you why because I would have looked like I wanted pity. So, can I sleep with you?"

Paige's heart melted but she hid it with a smirk. "Are you sure that that's your wish?" Sirius nodded. "Ok, I was willing to go a hell of a lot farther than that, but your wish is my command." Sirius's heart leaped and Paige pinched his butt before heading down the hall. "Bummer, I was looking forward to a very kinky night."

Sirius headed after her and turned her around. "You mean... I could have wished for anything at all?"

Paige laughed. "You might want to take off your trousers, they will be rather uncomfortable to sleep in." She started rummaging through her dresser and glanced over at him, realizing that he was waiting for an answer to his question. "Yes, Sirius, that's what I meant when I said that you were supposed to pick another kind of wish, but you had to just pick the sleeping one. Oh well, some other time then. I'm getting rather sleepy myself." She pulled out a light pink cotton camisole and matching shorts and laughed at the expression on his face.

"But... but... But I thought that that would be going to fast for you!" He said incredulously.

Paige changed while Sirius stripped out of his pants. She walked over and pulled on his shirt. "Take it off."

Sirius blinked in surprise. "What?"

Paige licked her lips and tugged on it again. "Take it off. I want to see you."

Sirius laughed and piled it with his pants before climbing into bed. "Now, about you being attracted to me."

Paige felt him pull her on top of him and giggled. "Yes, about me being attracted to you, I think it's an absolutely wonderful idea." She nibbled on his neck and slid her hands down to his waist, making him shiver.

He laughed at her. "Well then, if that's how you truly feel, I won't try to convince you otherwise."

Paige rolled off and burrowed under the covers. Sirius yelped when she goosed him and heard muffled laughter. He pulled the blanket over his head and grabbed her foot before she could get away and yanked her closer. Paige turned onto her back and kicked his hand away before sitting up and lunging at him. Her momentum and his position carried them both to the floor in a mass of blankets and laughter.

Sirius managed to get the blankets off and sat up. "Ouch, this floor is hard and you play too rough."

Paige poked her head out and replied with mock concern. "Aww, did I hurt you?"

Sirius helped her get out and said, "No, I'm just stating a fact."

Paige crawled over to him and into his lap, facing him. "Good, because I like it rough." She ground her hips into his, making him clutch her to him and groan. She gave a pained expression. "I'm sorry, I guess I have a hard time taking it slow." She pushed his hand away and crawled into the bed with a resigned pout.

Sirius was breathing pretty hard by this point and grimaced when she pulled away. "Well, to be fair I think we both do. Am I still allowed to sleep here? At least on the floor?"

Paige smiled. "Sirius Black, I don't want you to sleep on the floor ever again. Now get in here and keep me warm!"

Sirius spread the blanket back out and bowed. "Yes, Ma'am!" before jumping onto the bed. He felt her curl up next to him and put his arm around her. She closed her eyes and yawned, making him smile. "Paige?"

She opened her eyes. "Hmm?"

Sirius waited a bit, forming the right words before saying them out loud to try to avoid too much embarrassment. "Well, umm.... Are you sure you want to take things slow?"

Paige frowned. "Well, not exactly. Actually, no, I don't. Not at all. But I think we should, why?"

Sirius felt more than a little irritated and growled out, "Because you just created a little problem for me that won't go away."

Paige smiled sympathetically. "I'm sorry. I guess I should learn to control myself better, huh? So, what do you want to do about your not-so-little problem?"

Sirius gave her an annoyed look, getting more and more irritated at her reactions. "What do you think I want to do?" He shifted uncomfortably and sighed. "I will, however, abide by you wishes."

Paige patted him on the stomach, pleased that he thought so much of her. "Alright, do you want me to get rid of it for you?" Sirius nodded emphatically and she slid her hand down to the waistband of his boxers. "You get to clean everything up, I've never been too fond of that part."

Sirius felt her inch her hand in and gripped the sheet. "Yes, whatever, just please." Paige inched her hand in more and stopped. Sirius whimpered, "Please, Paige, it's been so long."

Paige clasped his penis in her hand, causing him to jump. The feeling of her warm hand wrapped around him made him light-headed. He gasped, the sensation all but brand-new to him after so long. He closed his eyes, enjoying the soft stimulation that she was causing. She started stroking him slowly, making him tense and pant. He was determined to last longer than he normally would. Paige, however, was just too experienced with this and he had to still her hand. He groaned and grit his teeth. "I'm sorry, luv, but it's been a while and I'm out of practice."

Paige kissed him, squeezing him as she did so. "It's alright, Sirius, I understand. Believe me, you've already lasted longer than some."

Sirius pulled his hand away, reassured, and she resumed her pace. "Do you want to come now?"

Sirius's eyes glazed over and he moaned, making Paige get a smug expression. "Sirius, do you want to come?" she asked in a more insistent voice. He nodded faintly and her pace picked up making him loose all ability for speech as he very suddenly felt his orgasm wash over him in waves.

He moaned and arched his back, his eyes shut again, and he yelled out, "Oh God, Paige, yes!" Then he felt the most intense rush he'd had in years. He panted for a minute before looking over at Paige. She was staring at him rather intensely, a strange gleam in her eye.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kate and Remus were both jostled from their sleep by the sound of Sirius yelling. Remus bolted up and was halfway to the door before he turned to find Kate snuggling into the pillows. "Kate, shouldn't we go check on them?" he asked frustrated at her lack of response.

"I really wouldn't recommend it, you would probably just disrupt whatever it is they are doing." she said through a yawn.

He crossed back to the bed and forcibly pulled her to edge. "Come on, we should check on them."

She glanced up at him. "Remus, people generally don't yell 'Oh God, yes.', when they are being attacked. Paige and Sirius are probably just playing."

Remus blushed. "Oh, right." he stammered.

Kate smiled, "Come back to bed, beloved." she said without thinking as she pulled him closer. He gave her a sleepy smile and acquiesced.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius cast a cleaning spell and lay back, sated and fully relaxed. "What are you looking at me like that for?"

Paige shrugged. "Well, I've never actually watched a guy's face while I've done that before, it's quite interesting."

Sirius sighed contentedly. "Really? How so?"

Paige snuggled up into him and blushed. "I don't know, just is. You also seemed to enjoy it an awful lot."

Sirius kissed her forehead; emotions seemed to overwhelm him now that he was thinking about it. "Well, I don't think you know just what you have done for me."

Paige smirked. "I have a pretty good idea, I do that type of thing fairly often."

Sirius shook his head. "No, really. I have been alone for fifteen years, no memory of being loved and cherished; every intimate moment had been all but destroyed completely. You've started more happy memories and made me remember what it's like to feel everything again. For all of that I'm really grateful."

Paige smiled warmly at him. "I've never had that kind of impact on anyone before, it's kind of nice."

Sirius caressed her cheek. "Anytime, luv, anytime!"

Paige giggled at him. "I'll keep that in mind. On the same lines, just how big are you?"

"Why?" he asked.

She kissed his cheek, remembering the feel of him in her hand. "Well, because I noticed that you're pretty big."

Sirius puffed up a bit, this was a good thing to hear. "I am rather large. It's the one thing that makes me happy about being a Black."

Paige responded, "Alright, well how big are you? I really want to know, so that when you go back to England, I have something to boast about."

Sirius gave a great barking laugh. "Since it's for the sake of reputation, I guess I'll tell you." Paige grinned at him triumphantly and he went on. "It's twenty-three centimeters, luv."

Paige's eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open. "Holy shit! That's huge!"

Sirius gave her a smug smile and ran his hand down her back. "Yes it is. I'm rather proud of it, too."

Paige nodded, still in awe. "You should be. I'll make sure that you get to meet everyone first so that they have a name to put with a size, ok?"

"Sounds fine with me." Sirius yawned. "I think we both need to sleep, what do you think?"

Paige blinked a few times. "After what just happened and your reaction, I'd say that you should be tired! Me on the other hand, but that's another story."

Sirius thought about this for a second. "What was that, luv?"

Paige snuggled down into his chest. "Nothing, just punishing myself."

He smiled at her. "What are you punishing yourself about, luv?"

Paige pouted. "I'm the one that wanted to take it slow and I've made you so horny that you had to have a little help from me, so to speak."

Sirius nodded. "Ah, so you would like a helping hand? I can do that, just say the word."

Paige giggled. "A helping hand? You make it sound like charity. No, I'm punishing myself or you would have gotten a lot more than a hand from me tonight."

Sirius squinted at her, deciding whether or not to let her punish herself or bring her to orgasm. Eventually, his curiosity won out and he decided to see how long she would last when she was sexually frustrated.

She huffed and snuggled into his chest, intent on ignoring her body's impulses and getting some sleep.

An: woohoo! Sirius finally got something! Not what he would have preferred, but it's better than nothing. So, all you little kiddies out there who have just read this part... shame on you. It's rated R for a reason so don't tell us if we just contributed to the corruption of a minor. Still review, just don't tell us.

**Now that that's over with, on to reviews, or answers of them in any case.**

**Miss Moony is now our favorite person, everyone should know that. We love her and Horn head would like an email stating what your first name is so that we can write you into the fic. Two more chapters and another reviewer is already being written in, although I forgot to ask permission first.**

**Hey, lightning Rain, mind if I use you in a few chapters?**

Anyway, Siriuszsecretlover is now Hornhead's favorite person, too, since she complimented Paige and Sirius and she's the first freakin' person to do so. A grr on the rest of you!

Prof. Pendragon: (Looks up from writing a scene involving Benny Hill music, Remus, and a group of sexually ambigious Slytherians) Why would you want to give them a robotic mongoose dog, if they are doing something you don't like? Wouldn't it be better to punish them?

_Hornhead: Grr would be a punishment, at least after the 52nd verse of the Doom song_

Prof. Pendragon: Ahh..very true. Please continue. (starts singing something involving underpants and fire)

_Hornhead: Or even the song that you're singing now_

Prof. Pendragon: Right again, but that is true of many songs. Songs from films, songs from the internet, songs I have written ...I mean Kate has written. I claim no responsiblity for such songs. Damn it. (checks online for indentity services).

_Hornhead: It won't work, we already know who wrote the songs. Mind you, I came up with the title for two of them, but whatever._

Prof. Pendragon: True, but then I wrote them. I mean Kate wrote them, blast they are going to start eying me at the department again.

_Hornhead: I didn't do it! I'm just sitting here, talking to people. Oh yeah, I guess I should be more convincing and actually talk to them, huh?_

**So anyway!!! I forgot to answer Sassafras last chapter about the whole Balrog thingy, I'll do that now. _Any comments, Prof? No? Good._ Anyway, Bret the Balrog is the same waiter that we wrote in that second (or was it third?) chapter. He's definitely a flamer and about the sweetest person you could meet. He's also the happiest person I think I have come into contact with. He dyed his hair recently and giggled and blushed when I commented on it. Anyway! Back to the balrog... we had to put it in there for our sequel that we'll do eventually. You'll see why. **

**At the moment, as I write this, there are no more revi3ews this chapter. If someone reviews and I forget to thank them here, I will next chapter and, as always, thank you to all of our readers and especially our reviewers. **

**Gracias! **


	13. Idiots Shouldn't Speak Unless Spoken To

**Disclaimer: (Gets off phone with lawyer). We still don't own it, drat. **

**Warnings: Violence and Profanity!! Woohoo!! I mean bad, very bad, you shouldn't part-take in such things and neither should our characters but their rolls were bad leading to a hack and slash mentality towards the end. **

**Pondering Point: The writers of this piece are the tricky sort so pay attention to hints, inconsistencies, and odd goings on that aren't really mentioned because they will tie into how the story develops. Congratulations to ****Katarina McGonagall**** to catching Jack with the garbage bag, good show. **

Chapter 13: Just call me Sir Mix-a-Lot.

Rose opened the door to the apartment as the first rays of dawn warmed the Eastern sky. Stepping inside, she dropped her bag and jacket to the floor. Shutting, locking, and warding the door behind her, she looked around and grinned. She collapsed onto the middle of the couch and stretched herself out, reveling in the relaxing motion. "Home, home, home", she muttered to herself. "Finally home."

A huge yawn and a loud rumble from her stomach interrupted her musings. _Hmm…food or bed, food or bed, food or Jack and bed, _she thought and stood up, her choice easily made. Actually, there was no choice, Jack and bed were an unbeatable combination.

Rose walked quietly down the hall to their room. She opened the door, entered the room, and quietly shut the door behind her in a few quick moves. Glancing at the bed, she giggled. Jack lay sprawled across his side of the bed on his stomach with one arm flung across her side of the bed. Rose stripped to her underwear, lifted Jack's arm, and crawled in. She gently replaced his arm across her stomach. Jack grunted in his sleep but didn't stir.

Rose was drifting off to sleep, when she felt the bed shift. Jack rolled onto his side facing her and snuggled into her side. He tightened his grip around her waist and held her close to him. Laying his head on her chest, he sighed contentedly.

"Mmm…Much better than a stuffed puppy. I missed you Blossom.", he spoke into her chest.

Rose opened her eyes and smiled at the sight of the dark head. She settled back into the bed. "I missed you too, love. More than you can imagine.", she murmured sleepily.

At the sound of her voice, Jack looked up into his Blossom's face. He took in her pale features, the dark circles under her eyes, and the exhausted look that had settled in her eyes and let out a low growl. "Bloody hell, didn't you get any sleep over the past two days?"

Rose shook her head. "Not really, the tiger transfer was a bit more difficult than we originally planned for."

At that Jack quirked an eyebrow. "Tiger transfer?", he asked in confusion.

Rose sighed. "Don't ask. Please don't ask. It doesn't matter now, anyway. I'm officially on paid vacation for two weeks."

Jack nipped at the curve of her breast. "Two weeks? We're never leaving this bed."

Rose giggled and closed her eyes. "Sounds incredible, my Captain.", she whispered. As she drifted off, Rose felt Jack place a kiss above her heart and laid his head back on her chest.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus woke to the sound of a bizarre chirping that was growing insistently louder. He rolled over and noticed that Kate wasn't in the bed. The chirping was becoming more desperate; he looked about the room for the source of the disruption and found a small black object with numbers on the front that seemed too small to be a phone. It stopped chirping as he picked it up and he set it back down. He moved to leave the room in search of Kate and the chirping started again. He picked up the object and walked out into the hall.

Kate was just stepping out of the bathroom, when she spotted Remus with her ringing cell phone. "Thanks", she whispered and kissed him on the cheek before answering the phone and stepping back into the bathroom. He shrugged and headed back to Kate's room to get dressed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After breakfast, Kate returned to her room to straighten up the bed. Remus followed closing the door behind him.

"So who was on the chirping device?", he asked picking up a pillow from the floor to toss on the bed.

Kate laughed. "It was just my godmother, I had left a message with her this morning to call and she was just getting back to me."

"Why weren't you in bed this morning?", he asked trying to keep his calm façade in place.

Kate turned to Remus and raised an eyebrow. "I woke up a couple hours before you did and I really needed to take a shower."

"Why?", Remus snapped.

Kate ducked her head and took a step away from him. "I had to take care of some things this morning.", she said as she began to blush.

He paused for a minute as realization set in. "You had to?", he said slightly flustered.

Kate gave a swift nod, "Yes, you got me a little riled up last night.", she mumbled.

"But I thought…" he began but they were interrupted by a knock at the door.

Paige entered the room. "Sorry, to interrupt but Kate we need to pick that stuff up.", she commanded and motioned for Kate to get moving.

Kate gazed apologetically at Remus. "I'm sorry. I promised Paige I would help her pick out stuff for tomorrow.", she soothed. She kissed his cheek and moved towards the door. "I really want to talk to you about this though, I'll be back soon.", she concluded as she left the room.

Remus watched as the door shut behind her and sighed. _Why does this have to be so complicated?_, he thought before his temper flared and he kicked the dresser.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paige dragged Kate into Fredrick's of Hollywood on Maryland Parkway in search of sleepwear. She picked up a black bra with apparently easy nipple access and gave Kate a wicked glance. "Would this match your costume?", she asked innocently.

Kate playfully hit her arm. "I think it would be a bit cold."

Paige smirked. "Not once Remus saw it."

Kate blushed. "I wouldn't know about that.", she stated and headed towards the hosiery.

"Oh…shiny!", Paige exclaimed and headed to take a closer look at a rhinestone bra.

A few minutes later Kate stood next to her, holding a hosiery package. "Anything new?", she inquired.

Paige shrugged. "Not since last week but I think I will get the red baby-doll nightie, I saw."

Kate smiled. "Good for you, I'm glad you and Orion are getting along." She moved to a rack filled with underwear and started searching through it.

"He was so sweet last night.", Paige sighed.

"Actually with all the frosting, I thought you were the sweet one last night.", Kate countered.

Paige rolled her eyes. "No, really. I told him I would grant him one wish and do you know what he asked for?"

"Not off the top of my head, Sirius is hard to read sometimes." Kate picked out a pair of sheer crimson panties and pulled a swatch of fabric from her purse to compare the two.

"He didn't want to be alone. He wanted to sleep in my bed.", Paige said dreamily.

Kate quirked her head. "What's so extraordinary about that? You just slept together, it's only natural really." She stated before putting the fabric back in her purse and placing her selection with the hosiery.

"Well maybe it is for you, but it was different for me." Paige snapped.

Giving Paige a hopeful smile, Kate patted the younger witch on the back. "I'm very happy for you, Pixie.", she said and turned to walk to the check out only to stop abruptly. "What do you mean maybe for me?"

Paige made a show of looking through a rack of bras. "I'll explain later. Sirius was so sweet and vulnerable."

Kate bit back a laugh. "Well, as I said I'm happy it's working out." As her purchases were being checked out, Kate turned to Paige. "Do you think I should invite Remus tomorrow?", she asked slightly dreamily.

"No!", Paige exclaimed. "I have a book at home that I have been reading, and I think that it would be a bad idea if he came tomorrow." Noticing Kate's scowl, she added "I'll show it to you when we get back."

Kate picked up her package. "A book?", she queried. "What kind of book?" Kate always had a weak spot for anything to do with books.

"A very useful one. Really, you might want it for future reference." Paige said with a giggle. "Just don't destroy it until I'm finished reading it.", she quickly added. Kate was confused but chose to follow her friend home instead of harassing her with questions.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

About ten minutes after Kate and Paige had headed out, Remus began pacing. He had started in the bedroom and quickly found he needed more space so he was now pacing the length of the living room. It was only a few minutes later when a clear pattern emerged: pace the room, turn, glance at the front door, pace the room, turn, glance at the front door, pace the room, turn, glance at the front door. His speed increased with each lap through the room. _She only left less than a half-hour ago, she'll be back soon. She wouldn't leave me, _he tried to calm himself as he continued to pace. _She could be hurt in or danger or worse, _a voice inside his head countered. _Another could be trying to touch her, be with her, claim her as his own, _the voice growled as he sped up. _She wouldn't do that, _he argued. _She wouldn't, but it doesn't mean someone else wouldn't. It does mean someone else wouldn't want to hurt her, wouldn't want to take her away, take what's ours, _the voice snapped.

Sirius walked into the room and watched Remus. "Are you alright, Moony?"

Remus turned to his friend and growled. "No, I'm not fucking alright. She's gone.", he snapped.

Sirius's eyes widened. "Do you know where she went?"

Remus snarled at him. "She went out with Paige to Gods' know where, she could be in bum fuck Egypt for all I know."

"They went to pick up a few things over at Bob's. He'll protect her.", he lied.

Remus seemed placated for the moment. "I guess that is acceptable. I just rather wish she'd get back.", He said as he rubbed his chest and continued to pace.

"Remus, why don't you sit down?", Sirius suggested. Remus nodded and plopped into a chair. Sirius sat across from him on the couch and decided to get his mind off of Kate being gone. "So you're having fun with Kate?"

"Umm…Well…Yes, we do enjoy each other's company. She's smart and pretty. Really pretty. Beautiful actually, with lovely eyes and a soft smile.", he got a wistful look in his eyes and seemed to ignore Sirius's presence. "She has a face like an angel and the body like a bloody fertility goddess with full breasts, wide hips and a big arse.", he had his hands extended as is he was reaching for something. Noticing Sirius in the room, he swiftly let his arms settle at his sides.

If Sirius had a drink, he would have done a spit take. He didn't so he settled for choking back laughter. "You like all these qualities in her?", he asked his eyes full of mirth.

He gave a goofy grin and stared off into space again. "Of course. She is amazing…" he said wistfully. Drawing himself from his revelry, Remus turned to Sirius. "Padfoot, if I ask you something, can you promise not to laugh?", he tentatively asked.

"I won't laugh much.", Sirius quipped.

Remus nodded and took a deep breath. "What does one do to ensure a lady's first time isn't unnecessarily horrific?"

"Well, it won't exactly be complete bliss for her the first time but it won't be horrific.," he said slowly. "But then the books we read when trained with Moody said that werewolf mating rituals are pretty grizzly to begin with. I mean the biting, the clawing, the mounting, the bleeding…" Remus visibly paled at Sirius's words. Sirius noticed his friend's discomfort and felt like kicking himself. "Though, I'm sure that is all probably exaggerated.", he added quickly.

Remus looked positively queasy. "Are you sure?", he quietly queried. "I don't think… I couldn't live with myself if I hurt her. I mean she deserves better than that and the idea of me doing it…doing that to her is nauseating.", he choked out as he ran his fingers through his hair anxiously.

"Well, it will be a bit bloody the first time but afterwards she will warm up to you, after the pain clears.", he said brightly.

Remus put his head in his hands and sighed. "Thanks, that really helps a lot. It makes it sound fabulous in fact. I suppose I could just go up to her and say 'Kate, I know you're anxious about this whole thing but you'll warm up it eventually after the pain and bleeding stop.", he said with a bitter edge.

"I'm sure she knows all about it. She does have Paige for a roommate.", Sirius comforted.

"Yes, she does have an idea of what will happen. Unfortunately, outside of library research I don't!", he yelled and began pacing again.

"Oh, that's what this is all about.", Sirius said as realization dawned on him. "Just relax and take it slow. You'll know if something is working or not, and instincts usually point you in the right direction.", he finished.

Just then Jack burst into the room with his pistol drawn. "Well, if it isn't the black-hearted scalawags of Hogwarts."

"What do you want Jack?", Sirius asked keeping an eye on Moony.

"Funny you should ask that Orion or should I say 'Vlad'. I know what you two are up to and you aren't going to get away with it. You may have seen through my plans, but even Marauders have their weaknesses!", he proclaimed and tried to stare the pair down.

"What on earth are you talking about Jack?", Remus said with a sigh.

"What on earth am I talking about? What on earth am I talking about? I am talking about you are two of the members of the infamous Marauders and even though you are both dark creatures now, it doesn't mean…"

Remus growled and stepped up to the pirate, his patience wearing thin. "What the fuck are you talking about Jack?"

"I purposefully encouraged you to go after Katie because I knew you were the shy one, the one that let his best friend have Lily Evans, despite the fact she was throwing herself at you for five years. I knew you would shy away from the bait, and what do you do? What do you do?", Jack said while flailing his arms about wildly.

"What did you do?", Sirius whispered to Remus, who shrugged.

"You go after her! You don't just go after her… Oh no, you snog her on the couch and sleep in her bed, like she's a two knut third-year date to Madame Puddifoot's." Jack started to pace the room and came to stand in front of Sirius. "And you, you, you vampire.", he said as he poked Sirius in the chest.

"Jack, I would seriously reconsider taking the two of us on if I were you." he said and hit Jack's hand away from his chest. "What do you mean, calling me a vampire?"

He swaggered closer to Sirius so he was looking into the animagus's chest and resumed poking him. "I saw that movie last night, you look exactly like him. Of course, you are taller and have finer features. And are a bit younger but still the resemblance is striking enough, Count.", he sneered.

Sirius looked at him in wonderment, then started laughing. "You watch some movie with a vampire and just because I sort of look like him I'm now a vampire?"

"Stop laughing, you blood-suckering creature of the night. I will not let you seduce Paige using your evil ways, I'm on to you.", Jack said before he stumbled slightly.

Sirius smirked. "Well, so far Paige and I haven't sucked on anything, but I'll let you know when we do. I'll bet she's good at it."

"I think not, Son of Satan!" Jack said before pulling a Star of David from his pocket. "The power of Christ compels you, the power of Christ compels you, the power of Christ compels you.", he yelled at Sirius, while pressing the talisman into his chest.

Sirius grinned at Jack, a feral gleam in his eye. "Yes Jack, the power of Christ compels me. Do you want to know what it compels me to do?"

Jack glanced at Remus. "Don't look to me Mr. Morgan, I'm a subscriber to nature based religion myself.", the werewolf laughed.

"First, it's _Captain_ Morgan." Jack exclaimed. "More importantly, I wasn't looking at you, you sex maniac.", he snapped and turned to Sirius. "Fine, what does it compel you to do? I'm evidently doing something wrong because you were supposed to have burst into flames about now."

Sirius licked his lips and advanced on Jack. "It compels me to find every conceivable way to pleasure Paige. I will defile her in ways you couldn't even imagine on every surface I can find. I'm going to shag her up, down, and sideways in as many positions as my twisted mind can imagine. She'll be begging me for release by the time I'm finished. What do you say to that, Gerry?"

Jack shifted his leg and moved to knee Sirius in the groin. Sirius stepped to the side and Jack lost his footing, falling to the ground. He moved to get up and Sirius punched him in the side of head knocking him to the floor. Jack swept his leg to kick Sirius's legs out from under him, and kicked the air as Sirius sidestepped him. Jack bent back and flipped up off the floor. Sirius stood back and waited for Jack's next move. Jack let out a loud roar and charged Sirius, knocking him to the ground. Thinking quickly, Sirius grabbed the good Captain and took him down with him.

No longer finding the situation amusing, Remus cast a full body bind on Jack. "Captain Morgan, please control yourself.", he said in a dangerously low voice. He advanced on the pair, reaching down to pull Jack up by his belt.

Sirius growled, "I'm going to love doing this to you, Jack." As the front door opened and Kate walked in followed by Paige.

Paige looked at the three men, blinked a few times, and shut the door; removing herself from the situation and unwittingly sealing Kate in with the assumed all-male ménage trios in the front room.

Remus turned to see Kate gaping at them and quickly dropped Jack on Sirius. "You're back!", He exclaimed and wrapped Kate in a hug, twirling her about. "I missed you so much.", he continued as he feathered her face with kisses.

"Remus! Now the crazy bugger is humping my leg. Get him off!" Sirius yelled as he squirmed under the pirate.

"Unhand her, you randy fiend!" Jack shouted at Remus. "Run, Katie, they can't be trusted. Traitors, murders and black-hearted villains the lot of them.", he spat.

Sirius growled and kneed the pirate, causing Jack's eyes to cross. "Git him off me Moony, NOW!" Sirius shouted.

Remus gently set Kate down and broke their embrace. "Stay right there, I'll be back in a tick." He said as he kissed the tip of her nose. He pulled the pirate off Padfoot and set him on the floor, face down.

Sirius jumped to his feet and rolled Jack over. He then leapt on him and began punching him repeatedly in the face.

Kate rushed forward to try to pull Sirius off, but Remus pulled her away. "This isn't your fight, Kate.", he growled.

"Sirius, please stop." Kate pleaded. "He doesn't know."

Sirius paused and looked up at Kate, suddenly feeling guilty for reacting so strongly. The guilt left completely as Jack yelled, "I know what he is, he's a traitor and a murderer. He'd sell out his best friend, if he had the chance."

Sirius grabbed Jack's throat and started squeezing as hard as he could, causing his captive to redden and gag.

Remus let go of Kate and they rushed forward to pull Sirius off of Jack. Remus managed to pry one arm off, but Sirius's other arm was still firmly gripping Jack's neck.

"Padfoot." Remus said in a soft voice. "Padfoot, you're not a murderer and now isn't the time to become one." Sirius didn't listen to him and fought to free his arm.

Kate tugged on Sirius's free arm. "Sirius, don't throw everything away. This isn't worth it. He isn't worth it."

Sirius struggled even harder to free his arm and snarled "Get off me or you two are next."

"Well that is a plan, Padfoot. Why don't you do that? Then you can be the one to tell Harry why you did it.", Remus said as he tried to rationalize with Sirius.

Sirius dug his thumb into Jack's trachea and scoffed. "He would do it too. I don't have anything to explain to James."

"Fuck", Kate cursed under her breath as she remembered that she was a witch and quickly cast a freezing charm on Sirius, placing Remus out of harm's way but causing Sirius's hand to be frozen to Jack's throat. Kate gasped at the result. "Any ideas?", she asked Remus.

Remus turned to Kate and calmly said, "Get Paige." Kate ran out the front door in search of her. Remus let go of Sirius and stepped in front of him. He bent down so that he was talking in the animagus's ear. "Yes, Sirius, James would have probably done the same thing. In fact, up until seventh year, James probably wouldn't have given it a second thought. James was a good man and the best friend a person could possibly ask for, but until he met Lily he was a calloused bastard, who went off half-cocked more often than not.", he said in a quiet, cold voice.

Before he could continue, Paige and Kate entered the room and stood behind Sirius. Remus stood up and exchanged a quick glance with Kate. She lifted the freezing charm and the three jumped Sirius knocking him off Jack.

Sirius relaxed under them. "Get off me, I promise not to kill the nutter, yet."

Kate was the first to get off the dog pile on Sirius and stood next to Jack. She let out a low growl and nudged him in the stomach with her foot. "If you ever do anything like that in my house again, I will dispose of you myself.", she snarled.

Paige got off of Sirius and looked to Kate and Remus. "Could you three give us a moment alone?" Remus stood up and grabbed Jack by the back of his shirt and hoisted him to his feet. He then set him walking and shoved him down the hall to Kate's room. Kate followed leaving Paige and Sirius alone.

**A/N: Dang, it must be PMS day at the apartment let's just hope the day gets better. (Checks outline) Oh yeah, forgot about that and that and oh yeah, there's that. Anyway, this chapter was the result of a long roll playing session in which several characters regularly failed Will, Intelligence, and Wisdom checks but for some odd reason rolled high on physical interactions so it turned out a bit different than we had originally planned. **

**As always, thank you to you, the reader, for reading this far. And many thanks to our wonderful reviewers. **

**Katarina McGonagall****: Woohoo, you are the clever one. We will have to work on being trickesier…hmmm…anyway in answer to your question. Sorry, we can't say anything about Jack and the garbage bag. However, we can promise that it will be explained in the next chapter. **

**Miss Moony: Yay! Thanks for the info, that will definitely be used in the story. Why is pudding so funny? Hehehe, anyway…. **

**Lightning rain: Just wait, everything will get better… Or was that worse? Ah, doesn't matter for now, Sirius has cum all the way from England and now he's happy. (horrible pun, I know.)**

**Siriuszsecretlover: the only special priveledges are that you too get to go have writing sessions at Denny's largely governed by the use of dice and D&D type character sheets. Yep, not much but it works for us. Comes in quite handy, actually.**

Alrighty then. How many of you already own POA? (I do, bought it yesterday morning) I'm watching it right now. Hehehe This little list is entirely HornHead's doing, so any praise or ridicule goes to me. (RIDICULE ME!!! RIDICULE ME!!!!!!) (please note that this isn't necessarily in any order)

Lists of things the three of us have seen when we watch the movie (POA):

What the heck kind of show is Dudley watching at dinner with Aunt Marge? A guy with pants around his ankles is getting dragged around by a girl in a tutu who must REALLY want to dance.

Sir Cadogan, during the scene where they realize that the Fat Lady's portrait has been slashed is behind Dumbledore molesting a girl (or something) He looks rather happy while he's doing it, too.

In the scene where Harry goes out looking for Peter Pettigrew in the Hogwarts hallways, there's a man with a metal funnel on his head in one of the paintings.

Why on earth would there be a piano in the shrieking shack? DO werewolves normally play the piano during the full moon?

Why would Aunt Marge's clothes stretch and bust a little at the seams but not totally rip off her body? Not that I want to see her naked, mind you, but they should stay consistent.

Well kiddies, that's all for now. Maybe we'll post more next time.

Ta!


	14. They Named the Monkey Jack

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns the Potterverse. Steve Wynn owned most of Vegas in 1996. And Ziegal and Troy are parodies of famous stage magicians though we can't tell you who. As always, though Jack has POTC parentage we claim all other responsibilities for him.**

**Warnings: Mild violence, sexual references, and emotionally unstable werewolves. **

Chapter 14: What of the Children?

Kate closed the door behind her as Remus pushed Jack on to the bed. The male werewolf stood back as she stepped forward and began casting healing spells on the pirate.

When most of the major damage was healed or in the process of setting, Kate stood up and walked to the door. "I will be back in a minute, keep an eye on him.", she told Remus as she left.

"Bastard.", Jack snarled at Remus after the door was closed.

"What was that Jack?", Remus asked. He was furious over the incident in the living and would have been quite content to let dread pirate moron figure out ways to heal himself.

"You're a right bastard.", Jack spat.

"I'm not going to fight you, Jack.", he replied calmly.

"She's not yours, never will be. Why don't you just go back to your castle, Professor?", Jack spoke deliberately, annunciating every syllable.

Remus clinched his fists and took a deep breath. "You are mistaken, Jack. I have no intention of leaving Kate."

"She isn't going anywhere, you know.", Jack growled. "Kate belongs here, it's in her blood. When it's time to chose, she won't go with you.", Jack growled.

"Stop trying to bait me, Morgan.," Remus said in an almost whisper, anger oozing in every word.

"Why is the big bad werewolf going to hurt me? You haven't got it in you, you're the weak one. Always letting others dictate your actions, never standing for anything, just riding the fence so that everyone will like you. Yet you're never brave or strong enough to stand up and be disliked.", Jack sneered. Remus's breathing was heavy and he began to shake, causing the pirate to laugh. "You didn't even fight when they kicked you out of their little clique. If you would have said something, if you would have done something other than lay down and take it, maybe your friends wouldn't be dead."

Remus lunged at Jack and grabbed his shoulders, lifting him off the bed. "Listen to me you bloody toerag, you know nothing about me or my decisions.", he said in a tone that was steadily getting louder as he began to violently shake him. "Kate decides who she is with not you, you hear me, NOT YOU!!", Remus bellowed.

Kate stepped into the room and cleared her throat, causing Remus to stop shaking Jack and look at her. "Sorry to interrupt, but he does need to take this.", she said quietly.

Remus gave her weary nod and dropped Jack on the bed. He then moved to stand away from the pirate, who was moaning dramatically in pain.

"Oh Katie, he's a monster. You need to go some place safe. You need to be with someone safe. Why not go back to that nice Dale boy?", Jack pleaded.

Remus advanced on the pirate. "You horrid piece of shit, if you don't shut it right now…"

Kate placed her hand on Remus's shoulder. "Moony, don't let him get to you. Let me take care of this…please." He stepped back and snorted at the pirate.

Kate released Jack from the binding spell and handed him a flask. "For you information, I never felt anything for Jasper other than friendship and he is currently happily married to a very kind witch in Canada.", she said before glaring at him. "Now drink the darn potion."

Jack drank the potion and blinked a few times. He gave Kate a slightly glazed look. "Fuck Katie, what did you give me?", he asked in a dazed fashion.

"Two healing potions, a painkiller, and three drops of veritaserum.", she said casually.

Jack rolled over and faced the wall. "Veritaserum is a highly controlled substance, where did you get it?"

Kate sat next to him on bed. "Paige bet me that I couldn't brew it so I did and I conveniently forgot to throw it out afterwards. And technically only the sale and mass production is controlled, I can make small batches and give them as Christmas presents if I like."

Remus's jaw dropped. "You can brew Veritaserum?", he said in a whisper. Kate had to stifle a laugh at his reaction.

"Of course, she can brew Veritaserum. What do you think she's stupid? Do you think she's only worthy of baring your mangy puppies? What do you plan to do to her, have her barefoot and pregnant in some shack?", Jack growled.

Remus lunged at the pirate again but Kate blocked him. "He's trying to get a rise out of you. He wins if you get angry." Remus nodded and reluctantly backed away. Kate sighed. "Your plan is quite ingenious, Gerry, but kindly stop tormenting our guests."

"What?", Jack snapped.

"Oh, I don't know. Provoking Sirius into attacking you was a good start and now you are hell bent on getting Remus to hurt you. I only wish I knew why.", she said with a hint of sadness in her voice.

"Are you angry?", he asked.

"No, just disappointed, Gerry. Why did you do it?", she queried.

"I wasn't trying to bait Sirius, poppet. I was trying to make that…that creature angry so you would come to your senses and see him for what he is.", he said glaring at Remus over his shoulder.

"Why, Gerry? Remus hasn't caused any harm.", Kate soothed, rubbing circles on Jack's back. Remus let out a low growl and she pulled her hand away as if she'd been burned.

Jack rolled over and grabbed for Kate's arm, causing Remus to pull Kate off the bed and out of Jack's reach.

"Katie!!", Jack exclaimed. "That's what I don't want, you're not his. You are supposed to stay little Katie and if you keep this up with him, you won't be. You won't drop the world for me anymore and I won't be able to protect you from it.", he sniffed.

Tears pricked Kate's eyes. "I'm not yours, Jack. I'm my own, you know that.", she whispered and Remus wrapped his arms around her. Brushing the tears out of her eyes she continued "And like it or not, I want Remus to be a part of my life."

Remus pulled her into a full hug and kissed her cheek. "Shhh…dearest. It will be alright.", he cooed as he held her tight.

He looked over Kate's shoulder at Jack who was glaring at them. Remus smirked at the pirate and lowered his hands to Kate's bottom. His hands skimmed across her bum and she let out a soft sigh. Remus kissed Kate's neck and gave her arse a visible squeeze, before mouthing the word "MINE" to Jack.

Jack jumped off the bed. "Get your filthy paws off her.", he bellowed.

Kate stiffened in Remus's arms and he quickly pushed her behind him so he stood between her and the pirate. "Jack, Kate needs to rest. Get out.", he ordered.

"No!", Jack shrieked. "Get away from her.", he said as he pushed Remus hard in the chest.

"If you want her, you have to come through me. Now get out, she needs to rest.", Remus growled.

"Get away from her.", Jack replied.

Kate stepped forward, slightly shaking. "Gerry, I was serious about what I said in the front room.", she said quietly.

"You won't kill me, Kate. It's not in your nature.", the pirate laughed.

"No, Gerry, I won't kill you. I will, however, destroy all evidence of Jack Morgan.", she said in a low growl. Remus leaned forward to support her as she stumbled forward.

"What do you mean, Katie?", Jack asked, fear flickering in his eyes.

She moved carefully forward so she could whisper in Jack's ear. "I will destroy, Jack. He will no longer exist, every forged document, every record, every minute detail connected to Jack Morgan, age 35, head pirate at the Treasure Island resort and casino, will vanish. What is that old Marxist saying 'All that is solid will melt into air.'? Captain Jack Morgan will melt into air, because quite frankly if you want to act like Gerry, I think you should be forced to be him."

"You wouldn't.", Jack snapped.

"Try me." She paused for a moment and kissed his cheek. "Do you understand?" Jack glared at Remus and nodded. "Good, now please just go.", she ordered and stepped back from him.

Jack stormed out of the room like a petulant child and slammed the door behind him. Remus turned to Kate just in time to see her start to stagger and carefully directed her to the bed.

"Sorry, about that. He seems to have this whole Vestial Virgin complex, where I'm concerned.", she said weakly.

"Are you alright? Should I floo someone, or call hospital?", Remus asked concern flooding his voice.

"No, I'm fine. I haven't been reacting well to this batch of wolfsbane that's all. I usually make it myself, but we've been so busy Jack offered to bring some from Generation for me.", she said pulling her self to a comfortable position on the bed.

Remus helped her settle on the bed. "You can brew the wolfsbane potion?"

Kate nodded. "I have been since I was 24, it really is quite interesting stuff.", she said with a yawn.

"You are a Potions Mistress?", he asked slightly amazed.

She laughed. "Nope, I can't be certified because of my condition. Not to mention, that though I am very good at it and it is useful, it also is as boring as all hell." She stifled another yawn and fought to keep her eyes open.

Remus kissed her forehead and snuggled in close. "Rest now, you can tell me all about it later."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paige bent down over Sirius and put a hand to his forehead. "Are you okay?" she asked pensively.

Sirius grimaced shook so hard that he could barely speak. "That bloody arsehole...", he said before his voice broke and he covered his face with his hand.

Paige helped him up and gave him a hug. "I'm sorry, Sirius. Kate told me a bit of what he said and he was out of line. Maybe you need to sit down with all of us and tell us exactly what happened when you were framed. I trust you and didn't want to push the matter before, but I think you need to tell us all."

Sirius sighed into her hair and a tear slid down his cheek. "I'm not a murderer, luv. I don't plan on ever becoming one, either." He pulled his head away from hers to that he could look her in the eye and stood up to his full height. "Why did you automatically trust me, anyway? Are you mad, I could have easily lied to you and killed you in your

sleep!"

Paige giggled up at the man towering over a foot above her and replied, "Um, first of all, I'm not as harmless as I look. Second, I trust people more than I should, but in this case I relied on Moody's unfailingly thorough investigative skills." Sirius gave her a quizzical look and she elaborated. "He sent me a letter telling me that you were innocent, but he didn't give me any details. I trust him more than anybody, so his word is pretty much law for me." Paige kissed Sirius's chin, as it was the most convenient body part that she could reach without either the use of a stool or stilts. " And third, I could have just as easily tied you to my bed and tortured you for days on end. Kate wouldn't even ask questions about it; in fact she'd avoid it and ignore it at all costs."

Sirius laughed a bit finding it hard to imagine her doing anything outright cruel, and said, "Why wouldn't she do that, luv? Do you tie men up to your bed often?"

Paige looked up at him with a twinkle in her eye. "Not really, but that's not the point. Kate has learned the hard way never to ask what goes on in my bedroom, especially when a man's involved. I'm not a shy person and I will answer her questions, giving even the minutest of details. She normally ends up yelling obscenities at me to get me to stop, but I figure by now she's a grown girl and will need the information some day… Besides, to hear her yell anything worse than "Heck" is a rare treat for me."

Sirius sighed, his tension and anger towards Jack melting at her humor. "You tell her everything? I think Remus needs to ask you a question or two, then." Paige's eyebrows shot up and Sirius slapped his hands over his mouth. "Bollocks, you didn't just hear that. I didn't just imply in any way that Remus is in need of any sort of lecture on the female

anatomy, alright?"

Paige giggled helplessly against his chest and buried her face in his shirt. "You are just too funny sometimes, you know that? I won't say anything about it to Remus, I promise."

Sirius nodded, kicking himself for blurting that out to her. "So, what do you want to do today?"

Paige shrugged. "I dunno, we could split up like last time and go do some recruiting."

Sirius, having been a witness to Remus's little tirade, shook his head vigorously. "No, I think we should leave the two love birds alone today, let them get better… acquainted if you know what I mean?"

Paige smiled. "I know what you mean but that book says that werewolf couples almost always wait until after their first full moon together, so they will just have to get to know each other in different ways."

Sirius cocked his head. "Different? Are they going to pass us up for how far they are going to go sexually?"

Paige frowned. "Well, if you mean are they going to have sex before we do, I don't know. I haven't asked them what they plan on doing. We, at least, have started. That's more than I think I can safely say for them."

Sirius nibbled on her ear, eliciting a small growl from her and rubbed her stomach with his hands before moving them around to her back and then down to her butt. "We could just stay in today and spend the entire day shagging in your bedroom. I was known to be a freak in the Seventies, I can do things you have never experienced." He gave her a long kiss, which deepened when he squeezed her rear and lifted her up slightly.

Paige broke away, out of breath. "Wow. I was thinking that I could take you out shopping and show you around the town."

Sirius pulled her back to him, pressing his erection into her belly and responded, "Oh really? What are we going to buy?"

Paige rubbed the bulge through his pants and shrugged. "I dunno, I'll probably start getting more Christmas presents. Is there anything that you want?"

Sirius thought about it for a minute. "Oh I don't know, maybe a haircut."

Paige brightened up. "I'll take you to Paulo! He does my hair and he's really good." She pushed away from him and made a quick phone call. Sirius stared after her in mild amusement, she had certainly switched gears fast. Here he was, thinking he was going to get shagged and ended up getting her excited about hair care instead. _For future reference, I really shouldn't talk about hair when I'm trying to get her in bed._ He thought.

Paige came back into the room and smiled before kissing him on the cheek and pulling him out the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kate woke to find Remus sprawled out across both her and the bed, snoring gently. She moved to wake him, but paused a minute to study him. He had a kind face that was currently half-covered by her hair. It sounded cliché but he did look less burdened in his sleep, his relaxed state lessened the creases in his brow and softened the lines around his eyes.

She stifled a laugh as he turned and brushed his hair across the underside of her arm. His hair wasn't as long as Sirius's but it fell a few inches above his shoulders. Kate thought it suited him, softening his features.

Raking her gaze over his body, she gasped a little when she noticed how thin he was. Much thinner than he should be she thought worriedly. He wasn't skeletal but looked haggard and underfed. A very dangerous combination for werewolf, a creature that hunted based on need, the greater the need the greater the desire to hunt and kill.

She distracted herself from such unpleasant thoughts and continued her survey. His hands were graceful yet strong with long fingers. Remus's hands dwarfed hers, something that she found amusing. It made her feel dainty and delicate something that was truly exotic for her.

Her gaze had drifted down to his waist, when Remus cleared his throat. "See something you like?", he asked huskily. Kate blushed and he took it as a cue to continue teasing her. "Ogling, my dearest?", he chided.

She smiled and jumped out of the bed. "No, I was just admiring the scenery for purely educational and ascetic purposes.", she retorted and went into the closet to change.

Remus quirked his eyebrow. "So does that make me a work of art or a text book? Or perhaps an exhibit in a museum of oddities? I can see it now, come see Remus the Wolf Man." Though he was joking, his voice reflected an underlying vulnerability.

Kate poked her head out of the closet. "More like a study in the beauty of the male form.", she said with a warm smile before continuing to change.

"Why are you changing in the closet?", he asked slightly amused.

"I don't want you seeing all my less than flattering features.", she said through the door.

"I already saw you in just your knickers a few a days ago. I think I survived quite nicely.", he replied back to the door .

"Yes, but that was a very quick view.", she quipped.

"You mean there was a possibility of a longer show." Remus chuckled.

"No, there wasn't. I don't want to go around scarring you for life.", she shouted through the door.

"I will see you naked eventually, you know.", he retorted. "Or I hope will.", he said quietly to himself.

Kate emerged from the closet, looking as if she had stepped out of a Waterhouse print. She was clad in forest green dress robes that were edged with gold and copper embroidery. Her hair was pulled to one side in a tail, causing dark curls to cascade over her shoulder. She looked at Remus and raised an eyebrow. "Let me guess, I've mixed up my blush and face powder again."

He didn't answer right away, opting to gaze at Kate. "No, you look perfect. I just think I've got the wrong room, I didn't know Nimue lived here." She blushed and turned away. Remus stepped forward and reached for her hand. "You look divine in proper robes, you should wear them more often." He looked down at his trousers, dress shirt, and worn sweater. "I feel very under-dressed."

"Don't, I'm overdressing on purpose.", she said with a hint of irony in her voice.

"You do look beautiful.", he said solemnly. "Not to mention highly educational.", he added with a smirk. "Why are you overdressing?" He wrapped her in hug and tenderly kissed her cheek.

She returned his kiss. "If I look the part of the sorceress, my father is less likely to treat me as a little girl. And trust me if Jack's little performance today is any indication, we are going to need all the leverage we can get."

"Come on, buck up, Kate. We will present a united front and everything will go perfectly." Kate gave him a wary smile for his attempt to calm her. "I mean it, I will not let anything go wrong.", he said confidently. "Why don't you make sure the coast is clear? I don't think I can handle any more of Gerry today."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rose awoke that afternoon to a silent house and an empty bed. She went to the bathroom for a quick shower and returned to get dressed. She quickly threw on her undergarments and pair of jeans before turning to Jack's closet to steal a shirt. She grabbed his favorite black t-shirt and hugged it, before slipping it on. She then padded barefoot into the kitchen.

Jack stood clad in front of his smokeless grill, clad in a pair of jeans and a black poet's shirt. Everyone and a while, he would take a piece of unidentified meat from the garbage bag on the floor on the grill and place the cooked pieces of meet in a bowl off to the side. He did this, while softly humming the theme from _Felix the Cat_.

"What are you doing, Jack?", Rose asked slightly amused by the spectacle Jack made.

Jack grinned at her over his shoulder. "Cooking", he replied, turning back to his task.

"I guessed that. What are you cooking? It's not penguin again, right?", Rose asked worry creeping into her voice.

Jack sighed and turned around. "A man cooks penguin once… once mind you, and he's marked for life."

"Once?" Rose asked incredulously.

"Alright, three…five times but it was a really cold winter, Rose, and I had no idea when I was going to be able to break out of Sea World." Jack said as he pulled more meat from the garbage bag.

Rose watched him place a cutlet on the grill. "Is that fur?", she asked.

"It's all legal, luv. Don't worry. Remember don't ask, don't tell…like the military.", he said with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

Rose giggled and stepped behind him, wrapping him in a hug. Jack stiffened in her arms and pulled away. "Careful, luv. I've gotten rough up a bit by some unsavory characters today."

She gasped and stepped back concerned for her lover. "Are you ok?", she asked.

"I'll survive, blossom.", he said bravely.

"Are Paige and Kate, alright? What happened? There weren't any lemurs involved were there?", she queried.

Jack snorted. "Paige and Kate", he spat "are fine. And you know damn good and well, that I haven't been near a lemur since the court order in May."

"Well, that's good.", she said relieved. "We wouldn't want a repeat of the whole fruit bowl incident. So what happened?"

Jack gave a heavy sigh. "It's too horrible to tell, luv. I wouldn't want to darken you view of the world, my shining star.", he said as he turned to face her.

She reached out and stroked his arm. "Tell me what happened, Jack."

"Alright, you forced it out of me, my dearest blossom. I was attacked.", he said with a shrug and returned to grilling.

Rose gave an agitated sigh. "Just tell me what happened, Jack. I'll understand, promise."

Jack put down the tongs and turned, crushing Rose to him. She let out an uncomfortable squeak and he loosened his grip a bit. "Oh luv, it was awful. There were 27 of them, 9 hula dancers, 9 wizards, 8 pirates, and a monkey. They hurt me, Rose. Kicked me, punched me, flicked my nipples, such horrors no man should ever experience. They all hurt me, except for the blasted monkey." Jack took a deep breath and continued. "No, the monkey was far worse. He mocked me, Rose. The stupid blighter just stood there mocking me with his hat and his eye-patch. They all mocked with that monkey, Rose. They named him Jack. They named the sodding monkey Jack.", he finished tears filling his eyes.

Rose patted his back and he continued, shaken but bent on telling his story. "After the fight, I returned home. That was when the worse of it happened, I could have lived with the nipple flicking, the kicking, the punching and even the monkey taunting but this was far worse. Sirius beat me and choked me in the living room, without good cause I might add. And Remus, that wanker, just stood there laughing, laughing at my pain.", he sniffed and wiped his nose on his sleeve.

Rose kissed his cheek and smoothed his hair. "So you and Sirius got into a fight?", she said gently.

"Yes, if you want to condense it like that.", he said indignantly.

"So what did you two fight over?", she whispered into his ear.

"They were being mean to me, Rose. They started it, the bloody gits.", he whined.

Rose chuckled. "So let me guess, you finished it?"

Jack stuck out his chest. "Of course, luv."

"How were they being mean to you?", she said with a frown.

"It was horrendous. Sirius beat me and then Remus, that scoundrel, he flung me into Kate's bedroom and threatened me." He then looked at the floor. "AndthenKateyelledatme.", he said so quickly and quietly that Rose almost didn't understand him.

"Why would Kate yell at you if Remus and Sirius were beating you up? They were obviously in the wrong.", she said slightly confused.

" 'Cos those black hearted devils are controlling her with the cunning use of Wizarding mind control devices, which they hide …they hide in their pants.", he said conspiratorially.

"Mind control devices in that reside in their pants? Are you saying that Remus is controlling Kate with his pe…", she was stopped from finishing her question when Jack covered her mouth with his hand.

"Katie is not interested in that bloody beast's naughty bits. She has been misled, misled through the use of that lecherous wolf's manly wiles.", he said and gently lowered his hand.

"Manly wiles?", Rose asked, trying desperately not to laugh.

"Yes, manly wiles. He's turned our Kate against me. He's sleeping with her.", he choked. "But that's not all. Yesterday, he tried to deflower her on the sofa. What would have happened, if I would have had small children with me? How do you explain that? What of the children, Rose? What of the children?", he pleaded.

"Jack there are no children.", she responded matter-of-factly . "Kate's a grown woman, if she wants to be blinded by manly wiles, then that is her choice."

"No, it isn't.", Jack snapped. "He fondled her buttocks today. He squeezed her bum, right in front of me. And what does she do?"

"Squeeze him back?", Rose asked carefully.

"No!", Jack screamed and began rocking back and forth.

"Ok, she didn't squeeze him back.", Rose quickly backpedaled. "What did she do?"

"Right.", Jack said noticeably calmer. "She didn't push him away, she just let him play with her bottom like she didn't mind his dirty, stinking paws on her virginal flesh; like he wasn't sullying the temple of her chastity. She is a healer and a teacher; not some 10 sickle trollop to be felt up by pervy old men.", he stated his anger reflected in his voice. "And then to top it off, that scurvy knave tells me that she was his, she was his. Can you believe that, Rose?" Jack said tearfully.

"Jack, maybe Kate likes Remus.", she said thoughtfully.

"Of course, she likes Remus. He's quite likeable." Jack admitted grudgingly. "But she likes him too much for my liking and that can only be due to his clever use of manly wiles."

"Maybe she likes him for more than his wiles." Rose purred, kissing Jack's neck. "I like you for more than yours." Jack let out a roguish laugh and scooped Rose up into his arms, carrying her to their bedroom.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jack and Rose snuggled under the covers, sated and very happy after their little romp. Eventually, Jack began to doze, slowly drifting into sleep.

A fierce knock sounded at the front door, causing Jack to jump. "Honestly, I don't know who put the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop!", he shouted.

Rose glared at him from where he had knocked her on the floor. "Go get the door, sweetheart.", she asked as she pulled herself back up on the bed. Jack nodded and headed out the bedroom door. Rose giggled. "Jack, aren't you forgetting something?"

Jack turned and smiled at Rose. "Of course, luv." He walked back to the bed and kissed her cheek. He then proceeded to walk to the front door naked as the day he was born.

He opened the door, flashing the two magicians on the door step. "Ach, put vat avay.", the blonde magician snapped.

"Yes, it is like a snake like thing erupting from a bush like thing.", the brunette magician concurred.

Jack shrugged and wrapped a blanket around his waist. "What do you lot want?", he growled.

"Ve vant, zee Rose girl. Ze one zat takes care of ze animals.", spat the blonde.

"And who are you then that want my precious Rose?", Jack queried.

The blonde struck a dramatic pose. "I am Ziegal and zis is Troy. And ve are Ziegal and Troy, master illusionists, magicians, and polka enthusiasts. Now fetch ze Rose girl, you pathetic ren faire reject." Ziegal snarled.

"Now hold up, mate. Only three people are allow to call me pathetic, and you are not Kate, Rose, or Stevie Wonder. So bugger off, you sequenced Eurotrash arsebandits.", Jack growled.

"Ooh feisty!!", Troy squealed resulting in Ziegal smacking his arm.

"Shut up, Berliner Bimbo.", he whispered to Troy and then turned to Jack. "You vill bring us ze Rose girl. Now!", Ziegal ordered.

Before Jack could comment, Rose entered the living room fully dressed. "Ziegal, Troy, what do you want?"

Troy stepped forward tossling his ebony locks. "Fetch us ze Rose girl", he ordered Rose.

Ziegal stepped forward and elbowed Troy. "She is ze Rose girl, you putz." He turned to Rose. "Oh, Rose girl, so good to see you. Now ve need you to go to Australia. So come on." Rose stared at the magician for a moment and then Ziegal started herding her towards the door. "Now, off you get. Come on, Rose girl. Australia vill not be there forever."

Rose stopped in her tracks. "Vy…I mean…Why do you want me to go to Australia?"

Troy turned to her. "Ve need ze hedgehog for our new show."

"There aren't any hedgehogs in Australia. Hedgehogs are native to Europe not Australia. More importantly, I just got back from San Francisco an you promised me two weeks paid vacation. So, no." She said putting her foot down.

"But ve need a specific hedgehog, and she lives in Australia. So as of now all vacations are canceled until ve get our solution our hedgehog shortage." Ziegal said sternly.

Jack stood next to Rose. "She ain't going nowhere, savvy?" He moved to escort Ziegal and Troy out of the apartment."

"Please, Mr. Pirate. Rose must get us our hedgehog." Troy said and grabbed Jack's arm. "Vow, you are tight. Tight like a tiger, grrowwll."

Jack jumped away from Troy and hid behind the petite form of his girlfriend. "Go away!!", he shouted before huddling behind Rose.

"Rose girl, if you do not go ve vill fire you.", Ziegal warned.

Rose shrugged. "Okay, fire me."

"No Rose girl, you must get ze hedgehog. If you do not, ve vill cry." Troy threatened with big puppy dog eyes full of tears.

Rose sighed and walked towards the door. "Sorry, but I'm not going. Now get out."

Ziegal stepped forward and glanced between Jack and Rose. "If you do not get ze hedgehog, ve vill vork on ze other act. Ze act with ze nine hula girls, eight pirates, and ze spectacular monkey named Jack."

Jack gasped. "No, not them. Not the monkey!"

Ziegal stepped towards Jack. "Yah, ze monkey!"

Jack turned to Rose. "Please Rose don't let them. It's a monkey, Rose, a monkey."

"Yes, Jack it's just a monkey." Rose said non-plussed.

"No Rose, it's not just a monkey. It's a Jack monkey, that monkey haunts me. It will be mocking me, pretending to be me. Maybe it will become me. Oh Rose, don't let me be a monkey. Don't let them embarrass me with a monkey.", Jack cried on knees in front of Rose.

Rose shook her head. "I will be down in twenty-minutes."

Ziegal and Roy lifted their arms in the arm. "Excellent!!", the said in unison and headed down the stairs.

Jack grabbed Rose around the waist and hugged her. "Thank you, Rose. Thank you. I don't think I could handle being embarrassed by a monkey."

**A/N: So ends yet another exciting chapter of Las Vegas is a Scary Place. Remember, boys and girls being embarrassed by a monkey is bad. But now on to more important business. **

**Prof. Pendragon: Several people have mentioned the Remus/Bob experience in their reviews, it will be coming up in Chapter 16, along with some lime flavored goodness concerning Remus and Kate. **

**hornhead: Lime flavored? Like margaritas? I want one!!! Prof, can I have a lime flavored margarita?**

**Prof. Pendragon: Yes, you may, though it's a Virgin Margarita on FFN. Though Chapter 16 will have a hint of lemon Absolut on Adult Fanfiction. **

**Hornhead: Cool, enough to get drunk off of? There's no other reason to drink, really.**

**Prof. Pendragon: Perhaps, you might just have to read to find out. Because knowing is half the battle, the other half is action, and then there is maintaining power. Wait, knowing is a third of the battle.**

**Hornhead: But I don't like to battle. If I did, I would go and get my sword and make people let me drink.**

**Prof. Pendragon: On that sentiment, perhaps you better answer some reviews and I'll hit Vons for some hard cider.**

**Hornhead: Sounds good, get me some Jack Daniels. (I'm a girl who likes the traditional stuff) Anyway, here I am rambling on about alcohol when there are innocents to corrupt!**

**Letdown: It's The BeautifulLetdown now, huh? Good name. Anyway, now you know why Jack was acting the way he was. Tryping is fun, but we might want to save that kind of behavior for AFFN, as it might get all of us in trouble for FFN. (If you're confused take a look at your review)**

**KatrinaMacGonagall: Did you mean where Paige is going when she walks in, sees the guy she's been sleeping with practically raping her roommate (at least that's what it looked like), and leaves? If so, then she wasn't going anywhere but getting away from that mess. It was pretty funny, wasn't it? "I'm going to love doing this to you, Jack." Hehehhe, I'd leave too.**

**Sassafras: You're just going to have to wait and see for the question about Remus, but it will be answered. We even have that part written already. Actually, we have a lot of it written already. What part of Texas were you in?! Geez, that's really weird. I don't see that many weird billboards in Vegas! Half naked women smiling from ear to ear, but no condoms to go or anything.**

**Lightning Rain: Sir Cadogan can be seen better doing whatever he's doing to that girl in the deleted scenes. He's having 'fun' I guess. Sirius didn't attack Jack, he responded physically to Jack's verbal attack. That's the way I see it, anyway. Stupid Jack, he's an asshole. Actually, Gerry's an asshole, but Jack works too.**

**Thank you for reading this, everyone! Please please review, good or bad, we like reviews. Also, for those of you who are in to this sort of humor (If you're not and you've read this far you have issues) go read Prof's story Santa Claws. I've read what she has posted so far and it's great. Also, there's a challenge at the end of it for those of you who want to get into the Christmas spirit, Harry-style. I like that phrase, Harry-style. **


	15. I Promise

**A/N: What the heck, guys? We only got one review last chapter. Really, please review from now on (that goes for everybody, really) and we'll get these chapters out faster. It's a whole incentive thing for us, the more reviews we get, the more we want to post because people are telling us they like our work. Anyway, thank you bunches to our two reviewers who, as always, will be answered at the end of the fic.**

Chapter 15: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

They went down to the car, Paige happily buzzing on and on about Paulo and everything else that they could find at the mall. Sirius half listened and nodded from time to time in what seemed like the appropriate spots, wondering what a mall was.

They arrived at a massive building at Paige parked, still talking about the mall. Sirius decided to start paying attention to the conversation and got completely confused when she said, "But I usually like to get my underwear somewhere else, like Fredrick's of Hollywood."

He got out of the car, still eyeing the building looming in front of him. "What?!"

Paige furrowed her brow. "I said that Victoria's Secret has some really well made underwear in some pretty colors but I like to get mine at Fredrick's."

Sirius laughed slightly. "Ahh, ok. I kind of lost track of the conversation when I saw this place and only caught the end of that.", he lied.

Paige set off towards the entrance and Sirius followed close behind. They got inside and he noticed that it was very airy, with small groups of people walking up and down, carrying big bags. He turned to Paige. "So, this is the mall, huh?"

Paige walked towards a shop with a little sign above it naming it "Hyperbeauty" and motioned for him to follow. "Yep. My favorite place to be. Are you ready to see Paulo?"

Sirius grinned. "Yes, I am. So, why is this such a big deal? What all is he going to do to my hair?"

Paige walked inside. "I don't know, depends on whether or not I can convince him to see you."

Sirius was going to ask her why but she brushed past him and walked up to a short, balding man. "Paulo! How are you?"

Paulo smiled widely at Paige and pushed a woman out of his salon chair. "Miss Pierce, I already have a place for you, eh?" Sirius almost laughed at the indignant woman stalking out of the salon and noticed Paulo's strange accent. Paulo patted his chair. "What will it be today? A hot oil treatment? A new color? Maybe you want to cut it all off, eh?"

Paige laughed as Sirius blurted out, "Dear Merlin, I hope not!"

She motioned for him to come forward and turned to Paulo. "Not today. Actually, I brought you a project and I was hoping you'd have time for him?"

Paulo threw Sirius a disdainful glance and turned away. "No Paige, I cannot work with such hair. Now take him away before I loose my lunch."

Paige rolled her eyes and whispered something in his ear. He brightened and ushered Sirius into the chair before standing back and eyeing him thoughtfully. "Alright, he's going to need a lot of work, so we'll start with Paige's favorite."

Paige grinned at Sirius and nodded. Paulo disappeared for a moment and brought back a strange smelling goop. He put the barber's cape on Sirius and started coating his hair.

Sirius furrowed his brow and sniffed. "What is this stuff?"

Paige raised her eyebrows. "Um, you probably don't want to know. Just remember that it will make your hair really soft and shiny."

Sirius nodded slightly. "Alright, but tell me what it is."

Paige responded, "Are you sure about that?"

Sirius sniffed again and grimaced. "I think so. This smells like strange chemicals."

"Well, it's placenta." Paige chirped.

Sirius jerked and yelled, "I've got WHAT on my head?!"

Paige nodded. "Yep, deer placenta. I get it done to my hair quite often. It's really not that bad, I can think of worse."

Sirius snorted and crossed his arms.

Paige shrugged and went over to a woman with short blonde hair and hugged her. "Madelyne! How are you?"

Madelyne smiled as the woman doing her hair gave her a mirror so she could see her new 'do.. "Good, just here for the weekend and then I go to Rome. You?"

"I work in Dark Arts Security now here in Vegas." Paige answered and smiled as her former-study partner looked shocked. "At the moment I'm here with a friend." She pointed over to Sirius and Madelyne cocked an eyebrow.

"Nyr mark?", she asked in Old Norse, the language they had struggled through together in school.

Paige bit her lip and nodded. "Ja, svass fremir.:"

Madelyne smirked and they continued the conversation for a few minutes before Paige got a little offended and refused to talk any more.

Paige smiled as Sirius was shampooed, conditioned, and then toweled off. He kissed her when he walked past her and went back to the chair for another treatment and a hair cut.

Madelyne looked at her watch. "Oh, I need to go now, I have a meeting in half an hour."

Paige hugged her, deciding to forget the little comment earlier. "It was good to see you. Stop by my office the next time you're in town, ok?"

Madelyne responded, "I will. It was good to see you, too. Bye now."

Paige waved and turned to a large stack of hair styling books. She picked up a few and went to a chair to find a new look for Sirius.

She finally decided on an appropriate look for him and brought it over to Paulo, who agreed with her choice. Sirius craned his neck to see but couldn't get a good look at it. He sighed, resigned to being surprised and hoped he would like it when the hair started falling around him from Paulo's scissors.

Half an hour later, Sirius was feeling quite restless. Paulo was becoming impatient with his fidgeting and almost stopped working on him, but Paige had convinced him to finish and had laughed it away when he grumbled the rest of the time.

Paulo was currently using a hair dryer, something that had scared the crap out of Sirius when he turned it on, but Paige explained what it was and he calmed down. The hot air wasn't very pleasant, but he would live with it until Paulo decided he was dry enough. He hadn't even taken a peek in the mirror yet and was very anxious to see what he looked like now.

Finally, Paulo turned off the dryer, swiped a comb through his hair a couple of times and proclaimed that he was finished.

Paige looked up from a magazine she was reading and her eyebrows shot up. "Oh, wow. Sirius, you look fantastic."

He wasn't quite so sure but Paulo confirmed it when he gazed at Sirius hungrily. "A masterpiece indeed. Of course, he was under my care so he would be."

Sirius stood up and turned towards the mirror and froze. It was him, only a younger, cleaner cut version of him. Gone was the shaggy, unkempt mop that he'd sported for the last fourteen years. The Sirius in the mirror had shiny hair, which was full of body and was cut very short for his usual taste. It was a couple of inches at the top but quickly tapered to about an inch or so. His jaw dropped. "I look like an entirely new person. This is really… brilliant. Bloody brilliant."

Paige jumped up and hugged him. "Then you like it?"

Sirius gave a huge smile and kissed her soundly. "I look right as rain, luv. I'm not such a barmy old berk anymore."

Paige smiled up at him and ran her fingers through his hair. "That was always debatable. You don't look _barmy_, anyway."

Sirius laughed and Paige went up to pay. He looked in the mirror again, making sure that he wasn't just seeing things and he really did look like this. They walked out into the main part of the mall and he pulled her into a great bear hug, swinging her around once before putting her down. "Thank you!"

She laughed at him, completely pleased that he liked the hair cut and said "No problem, just use these hair care products I got you so that your hair stays this way, ok?"

He shrugged. "I'll do as you say until I go back to England. Then it's going to be hard to march in to a store and buy more, I'm still wanted over there."

Paige watched as a few high school girls walked by and looked Sirius up and down. "You know what, I think you're pretty wanted here. Not just by me, although you're making it harder and harder to not throw you up against a wall and completely ravage you."

Sirius quirked an eyebrow. "Really? I'm game any time."

Paige frowned playfully at him and broke away. "Let's go into Sak's."

Sirius followed her into a big store and looked around. "There's a lot more than that in here."

Paige looked up at him in confusion. "Huh? A lot more than what?"

Sirius laughed a little. "Sacks. There's clothes and other things in here, too."

Paige giggled and wound her way through to the men's clothing. "I know that, Sirius. Sak's is the name of the store, not what's inside it." She pulled out a pair of black slacks and put them up to him, seeing how they would look.

Sirius responded, "Oh, alright, then. What are we getting here?"

Paige put a few dress shirts in his hands along with the slacks and pointed towards a dressing room. "I'm going to take you out dancing tonight. Do you like to dance?"

Sirius walked dutifully to try on his new clothes and shut the door. "Well, yes I do. But I'm not sure I know how to dance the same way that you do." He took a shirt off the hanger and pulled the one he was wearing off.

Paige looked at a rack nearby that was full of men's underwear and smirked. "Unless they changed the waltz, tango, and such in the last few years, I'm sure you know how. I plan on taking you to a place I can dress up for."

Sirius pulled on the trousers and buttoned them. He looked in the mirror and nodded. "I look good."

Paige smiled. "I'm sure you do. Now come out so that I can see, too." Sirius came out and spun around once for her. "Yes. We'll find you a jacket to match and then let's go to Sonic for lunch, I'm hungry."

Sirius happily went back in and changed, hurrying now that they were going to get food soon. He found Paige a little ways away from where they were, scrutinizing jackets.

She held up the pants to match the color to a particular jacket and nodded. "Please give me the clothes and try this on. It matches but I have to make sure it fits." Sirius sighed and gave her the clothes in his hands before pulling on the new article. He looked at Paige, who grinned. "Yup, we'll go pay for these and then it's off to get food!"

Sirius brightened considerably and followed her to the checkout stands.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After lunch, Paige took Sirius to her office. He marveled at the tiny cubicles dividing the large room up into offices and grinned at a few women that stopped to talk to Paige. She brushed them off and took him to her cubicle, obviously in on some joke that he wasn't quite privy to yet. They walked in and he immediately asked, "Why are you smiling?"

Paige giggled a bit and shrugged. "Well, they're obviously very curious about you, like they are about all of the guys I bring here, which a few and far between."

Sirius glanced at a picture on the wall and smiled. "Why is that? I think your job is very fascinating."

She smiled at him. "Really? Not many guys say that and mean it."

Sirius nodded. "Really, I wish they had some sort of job like this back in England, I'd have gone for it instead of just wasting my youth getting drunk every night and fighting for the Order."

Paige frowned at him, clearly he had just said the wrong thing. "You know what, Sirius, I wouldn't call being an Order member a waste of time in any fashion. You have joined a very noble cause and I don't think that you should take it so lightly."

Sirius laughed at her. "Yes Mum." Paige blushed slightly and sat down at her desk. Sirius sobered up a bit and sat down next to her. "I do not take it as lightly as it seems, it just sounds that way. I've given everything for the Order, Paige. You don't know exactly how much and it hurts too much to talk about. I've always taken the Order seriously, and especially now that Harry's a part of everything."

Paige placed her hand on his cheek, comforting him. "I'm sorry, I just get a little more bossy when I'm here. I think it's the atmosphere. Anyway, I'm here if you ever do want to talk about it, that goes for anything at all."

He smiled warmly at her, knowing that she truly meant everything she just said. "Thank you, Paige. You're a doll, you know that?"

Paige smiled and turned back to her desk. "I have a lot of work to do, do you mind just hanging out until I get it under control? Then we can go have fun."

Sirius nodded. "Sure, if hanging out doesn't mean what it would literally mean." Paige laughed and he continued. "Hey, after our little discussion last night I have to be sure. For all I know you could want me to give your coworkers a demonstration."

Paige turned around and let out a deep breath. "You're too funny sometimes. You want a book to read?"

Sirius watched as she pulled one off her bookshelf and handed it to him with a smirk. He read the title. "The Count of Monte Cristo? I've never heard of it."

Paige turned back to her desk and looked over a paper. "It's a muggle classic. I'm sure you'll like it, as there are similarities between you two. Might make you a bit depressed, but I'll cheer you up afterwards."

Sirius studied the cover. "Similarities? Like what?"

Paige shrugged. "Just read it and find out, Hun. I never spoil books for people. Dumas is an excellent writer."

Sirius looked up. "Speaking of which, have you been translating that book for everyone to read?"

Paige nodded. "Yep, have a few pages done. Would you like to read them when we get back tonight?"

Sirius nodded and opened the book, reading the first line with interest.

On the 24th of February, 1810, the look-out at Notre-Dame de la Garde signalled the three-master, the Pharaon from Smyrna, Trieste, and Naples.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A few hours later, Paige looked over to see Sirius looking very grim and upset as he read. She started regretting her choice of literature for him and put a hand on his knee. "Are you alright?"

Sirius tore his eyes away from the text. "Yes, I think so. Just brings me back to a time and a place I don't want to be."

Paige took his hand in hers and stroked it. "Well then, maybe you should put the book down. I didn't really think about the consequences when I handed it to you."

Sirius shook his head, frowning. "No, I do like it, just not the memories it brings up. Perhaps I'll pick it back up later, though." He set the book down on Paige's desk and smiled half-heartedly at her.

Paige picked it up and placed it in his hands. "I've read it several times, you go ahead and take it and read it at your own pace, alright?" Sirius looked down at the book and tucked it under his arm. Paige stood up. "Alright. Now to cheer you up, as I said I would."

Sirius looked up at her, still fighting off the melancholy that had set over him. "Where are we going?"

Paige grinned at him and picked up a light sweater that she had left there some time before. "Well, first we have to go back to my room and change, then I'm taking you out for dinner, dancing, and a movie."

Sirius stood up and hugged her. He suddenly noticed that human contact seemed to help get rid of the memories of the past. "That sounds fun. Are we apparating back to the apartment?" Paige nodded and disapparated before he could comment any more.

He followed after her and found that she had actually gone to her car before going back to her room. "Aren't we the quick one?"

Paige looked over at him from her closet. "Yes. I bought those clothes specifically so that you could wear them tonight, put them on." She pulled out a red halter dress and matching heels and started to change.

Sirius looked at her in amusement. "Yes, Ma'am! My, but you've got a bossy office demeanor, haven't you?"

Paige blushed slightly and pulled off her top, revealing a purple push-up bra that Sirius found intriguing and retorted, "Well, you do what I say, so why shouldn't I?" before pulling the bra off and tossing it in the laundry basket.

He pulled the new clothes out of the bag and shot a glance at her. "I'm not a pushover, Paige. Don't try to treat me as such."

Paige winced and tied her dress behind her neck. "I'm sorry, old habits die hard. Will you forgive me?"

Sirius changed his clothes in silence, making her wait for the answer. He finally decided she'd waited long enough and said, "Yes, of course. But just remember that for the future, ok?"

Paige blew him a kiss in response and went over to her make-up and mirror on top of her dresser. "Gotcha. Need anything?"

Sirius shook his head and watched her primp enjoying the way the dress clung to her in strategic spots and flowed in others. The open back that dipped down past her waist was something he wasn't used to in England and he decided he liked it quite a bit.

When she was finished, the over all effect was quite stunning. Her hair was pulled up into a complicated twist with ringlets spiraling down in different places, her dress was calf-length and her shoes were rather high, placing her at about eye level with Kate. He whistled in appreciation and she grinned at him before taking his hand. "Ready for a night on the town?" Sirius nodded and they apparated back to her office to get her car.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paige seemed to take a lot longer leading him out of the office than she did when she brought him in. Sirius didn't remember any of the things he was passing, either. He shot her a confused look and almost burst out laughing when he figured out what was going on. Paige walked up to a tall woman with short brown hair who had her back turned to them and cleared her throat. The woman turned around and Sirius saw one of the most beautiful people he had ever seen before.

Paige smiled a sickly-sweet smile at her. "I'll be leaving now, Mrs. Mills, is there anything else?"

Mrs. Mills looked from Sirius to Paige and her eyes flashed with anger for a minute before replying, "No of course not, Paige. Have fun."

Paige smiled at her prettily and walked down the corridor, her arm around Sirius's waist.

They got outside and Sirius stopped her. "Showing me off?"

Paige grinned. "Not in the way that you're thinking, no. That's Erik's mom."

Sirius smirked at her. "Aren't you being a little childish?"

Paige set her jaw, knowing he was right didn't mean that she would give in. "Yes, but you'd have to know the old bat to know why I'm doing this."

Sirius kissed her forehead, silently laughing at how much alike they were. "Then tell me over dinner, I'm hungry."

Paige growled something into his chest and he walked her to the car.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They had dinner at the Old Black Magic Lounge in the Desert Inn. Sirius smiled when Paige explained why she had acted that way towards Erik's mother. Mrs. Mills had always disliked her and even more so when she left him to go to England for training. Mrs. Mills was now her supervisor and had no idea what they actually did when they were on duty protecting a child, as she had never even bothered to learn anything about the "little monsters."

Paige spoke of her with obvious disdain, stating that if the government worked the way it was supposed to, she would be flipping burgers at MacDonald's instead of using her sex appeal to rise higher and higher in the system.

Paige had glared at him with such intensity that he flinched when he had said, "But you have to admit, she _is_ very lovely." Causing him to try to recover with, "But you look nice, too." Which didn't work… at all.

Paige didn't stay upset with him long, however, because he asked her to dance. They glided over the floor, waltzing to an old song from long ago. Paige was an excellent dancer, Sirius noticed. He was thankful he remembered somewhat where to place his feet and how to do everything, only stepping on her foot once and making another mistake that made him bump into a pretty woman with shoulder length blonde hair and ample cleavage. He'd made his apologies, but had been glared at by the woman because the position he was in afforded him a very good look down the green velvet barely covering her bosom. He shrugged to Paige who was smiling at him when he turned back to her and blushed a bit. "Um, you said we could go see a movie?"

She nodded and they walked off the dance floor. "Yeah, had enough of dancing?"

Sirius nodded. "Yes, I don't think I quite have the mind frame for it right now."

Paige arched an eyebrow. "Oh really? It seemed as though you had the frame of mind for a few other things in there, though." Sirius started to get a little embarrassed and Paige shrugged. "They were fake, just to let you know."

"What?", Sirius asked.

"They were fake." Paige answered. She could see he didn't understand and sighed. "You know, she's had implants put in her breasts to make them larger. I could tell because no woman would be like that naturally. I mean with that tiny little waist and the weight on top, she'd break in half. Not to mention the fact that they didn't move a millimeter during the foxtrot, even though she wasn't wearing a bra."

Sirius nodded, still not familiar with a woman putting anything more than some tissue in her bra to make herself bigger. "Well, do you have implants?"

Paige laughed. "What? Why would you think I have them? My chest isn't that big."

Sirius eyed the cleavage peeking out of the top of her dress and smiled. "Well, they're a handful for me, and I have big hands. They are a good size, luv. As for the implants, I don't really know what they are. The most a girl ever did in school was use socks in her bra, but I figured it out almost every time." He paused for a moment before laughing and saying, "No, I take that back. Senora Shadowgrove did use an enlarging spell on hers, fourth year. It didn't work the way she wanted it to, though, and she spent the next three weeks in the hospital wing while Poppy shrunk them so that she could walk again. It was all everyone could talk about for the rest of the year."

Paige's mouth dropped open and she grimaced. "That's horrible! The poor girl had to put up with that the rest of the year, didn't she?"

Sirius sniggered and nodded. "Sure did. But that's what you get when you try to get immediate effects like that."

Paige smirked and nodded. "I guess so."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They got in the car and went to the movie theatre, a busy place teeming with teenagers and parents with kids. Sirius started to back away towards the car, the noise and activity around him wasn't something he was used to, and Paige felt him tug on her arm. She looked up to see him wide eyed and short of breath and they quickly went back to the car. "Are you alright?" she asked.

Sirius grimaced and nodded. "Fine, luv. I didn't expect it to look like that out there. I don't think I want to see a movie tonight, is that alright?"

Paige smiled. "That's fine. We can go back to my room and get to bed early."

Sirius frowned. "I'm not tired, Paige. Could we watch a movie at your house?"

Paige giggled. "I wasn't talking about sleeping, Sirius. We can watch a movie anyway, though, if that's what you want."

Sirius buckled himself in and caressed Paige thigh. "I thought you wanted to wait?" he asked. He did hope that she would go ahead with her plans of shagging, but he wanted to make sure that's what she wanted.

Paige started the car and shrugged. "I've waited long enough. I mean, you two might get called back to England for who knows what reason and then I'll be left here without any chance of orgasm." She paused. "Well, I could always find a way, but that's not the point."

Sirius laughed and dipped his hand down between her legs for a second before Paige pulled it back out. He feigned indignation and said, "Hey! I was playing with that! What do you think you're doing, taking my hand away?"

Paige smiled and started home. "Well, unless you want me to crash, I'd suggest not doing that in the car. I won't be able to concentrate on both things and I think I know which one I would pay attention to."

Sirius pouted but was careful not to break her concentration from the road the rest of the way home.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They opened the door to see an empty living room, so Sirius immediately pushed Paige up against the wall and kissed a soft trail down her neck while wrapping his hands around her waist. Paige sighed into his neck and then sneezed. Sirius straightened up and wrinkled his nose as he used his sleeve to wipe the fresh coat of wetness off of his neck and shoulders. "Ew."

Paige giggled a little and buried her head in his chest to keep him from seeing how embarrassed she was. "I'm so sorry, Sirius. Your cologne tickled my nose."

Sirius chuckled and tapped on the crown of her head to get her to look up at him. "No harm done, luv. It was rather surprising and killed the moment a bit, but no real damage done, I guess."

Paige tried to keep from laughing further and failed. She burst into fits of laughter, getting very relieved when Sirius joined in, and took his hand to lead him to the couch.

She pushed him down onto it and turned to lock the front door before disappearing into the kitchen for a minute and coming out with two glasses of wine. She set them down on the coffee table and winked before stepping away and then she started stripping, moving in a way that Sirius had never seen before. He watched for a while before asking, "Luv, where did you learn to move like this?"

Paige threw her dress onto the floor, now clad in only heels, thigh highs, a bra, and a thong. "Does it matter? I took a belly dancing class, which is the basis for some of it."

Sirius smiled and gripped the couch before shifting restlessly. "That's enough, come here.", he ordered. Paige grinned and sauntered towards him, but she tripped on her dress and landed chin-first in his lap. Sirius let out a low whine and doubled up, his face was red and tears were forming in his eyes. Paige gasped and ran to the kitchen for a bag of frozen vegetables and a towel.

She came back in the room and grimaced before putting a hand on Sirius's shoulder. "Sirius? I've got something here that will help." Sirius relaxed some and let Paige slip her hand down to his pants. She banished them and patted his hand before stating, "This will be cold at first."

Sirius didn't pay attention, though and gave a strangled gasp when she put the towel-covered cold pack on his groin. "Oh bloody hell!" he cried and tried to pull the offending bag off.

Paige swiped his hands away and put her face next to his, struggling to keep his hands from the veggies. "No, Sirius. This will help, just give it a minute to numb you." Paige said softly. She smiled as he relaxed and stroked his cheek, feeling the tension slip away from him.

Sirius sat up a few minutes later, wincing as he felt a slight pang when he put his legs together. He quickly opened his legs again and looked over to see a red-faced Paige staring sulkily at the floor and sitting on her hands. He couldn't help it and gave a barking laugh before Paige's glare cut him short. He put an arm around her and kissed her head, stifling another laugh when she looked back at the floor. "Well luv, what are you so embarrassed about?"

Paige sniffed and grumbled, "For starters, you're laughing at me. I'm not usually this clumsy."

Sirius raised his eyebrows and nodded his understanding. "Ah, so you're being the stereo-typical cat and getting mad when people find your mistakes funny?" Paige snorted and crossed her arms, refusing to look at him. "Well, go ahead and be mad if you want. I won't fault you for acting like your animagus form, after all, I sleep on the floor."

Paige smiled grudgingly and Sirius tightened his hold on her. "You see? It is funny, isn't it?"

Paige nudged him with her shoulder and sighed, finally looking at him. "You don't understand, Sirius. I'm the cat, I'm always graceful and poised. I don't go sneezing on guys and head-butting their crotch." She laughed as she said this last part and Sirius's smile got even bigger. Paige sighed and put her head on his shoulder. "I guess it is kind of funny, though."

Sirius let out a big laugh and replied, "Yeah, next thing I know, you'll be passing gas in my face."

Paige's mouth fell open and she blushed again. "Sirius Black! I will not do that!"

He chuckled and cocked his head to the side. "Well, it's something cats do from time to time, but I'll have to thank you for not doing this little cat action."

Paige giggled and playfully smacked his chest. "Sicko, you'd probably like it. I promise to never fart in your face, as long as the favor is returned."

Sirius thought for a moment and erupted into a fit of laughter again. "I think I can handle that. Although, this has to be one of the weirdest promises I've ever made."

Paige startled as they heard a pronounced growl come from Kate's room and they rushed to see what was going on.

**A/N: Romantic, isn't it? I'll never fart in your face…. Has to be a line from some Danielle Steele novel or something. Lol Anyway, on with answers to our wonderful reviewer.**

**Katrina: Paige was just trying to tell Kate that it might not be such a great idea to take Remus to their thing the next day. As to where they go, you'll just have to wait and find out. There is another chapter for this day still (I know, that makes four, but they're good chapters.) I might have Paige tell Sirius but I might not.**

**By the way, you're our only reviewer for this chapter. We have now switched all of our favoritism to you and we say, "Screw everyone else!" Actually, no we don't, but we are wondering why there were so few reviews. I guess you guys don't like Prof's characters, since that's the main part of chapter 14. If that's the case, I would just like to go on record as saying that Prof rules.**


	16. Rampaging through Downtown Tokyo

**Disclaimer: The characters of Sirius Black and Remus Lupin belong to J. K. Rowling. We are simply taking them out for walkies, we'll be back in twenty minutes or so. **

**Warning: This chapter contains a high level of male/female sexuality and sensuality. If this offends you or is simply just not your cup of tea, just read the first half of the chapter and then skip to Chapter 17 for allusions as to what you might have missed. This story is rated R for a reason. **

**Sponsors: This story is brought to you , a day early I might add, by our fantabulous reviewers. Yay!!! **

Chapter 16: Just playing around…

Kate and Remus headed to the car. Halfway there, Remus turned to Kate. "Why don't we just apparate?"

"We will have to walk about a half mile to get there then. Do you mind?", she asked.

"A walk sounds delightful.", he replied with a smile.

Kate continued to the car and pulled a red velvet cloak out of the trunk. "It will be about 25 degrees colder up there. Do you think you'll be warm enough?" Remus nodded and Kate wrapped her arms around him to apparate.

They arrived in a Coniferous forest growing on a mountain side. Kate pointed out a footpath to Remus and began to follow it. He caught up to her and held her hand as they ascended the mountain. The temperature dropped and Kate tightly wrapped her cloak around her body.

"Cold?", Remus queried.

"Just a little, you?", she replied.

He just shook his head. "This isn't too bad really. I think it was colder when we left Scotland.", he said with a chuckle as they continued down the path.

After several minutes of silence, he turned to Kate. "Why is your cloak red?"

Kate, who was looking at wild flowers, turned. "What?"

"Why is your cloak red?", Remus repeated.

"Family joke.", she stated and went back to weaving on and off the path in search of flowers.

"What is it?", he asked, his curiosity eating him up.

Kate sighed. "When I was eight, my Dad found out that I had ripped up two of my story books.", she said, looking at a piece of quartz from the trail.

"Let me guess, one of them was _Little Red Riding Hood_.", he chuckled.

"Your powers of deduction are truly amazing.", she said sarcastically before sticking her tongue out. "Anyway, Dad rewrote the story for me and gave me a red cloak for my ninth birthday."

"What was the story about?", he asked as he jumped a small ravine that divided the path.

"Little Red Writing Wolf.", she exclaimed with a flourish causing Remus to laugh. She just smirked at him and moved to inspected a nearby tree. "It's about a little girl named Katie, who just happens to be a werewolf. Katie writes stories and wears a red cloak, whenever she plays in the forest. One day, she saves some elves from the clutches of an evil Deatheater and three savage boars from the Ministry of Magic, which she does with grand style and cunning. After the elves are safe, she returns home to her father and they all live happily ever after."

"So I take it the Ministry and Deatheaters were a general theme for villains growing up?", Remus asked and Kate gave him a sad smile. "Your Dad certainly sounds interesting.", he concluded thoughtfully.

Kate grinned. "Well in about three minutes, you'll find out.", she laughed and raced down the path. Remus stood shocked for a second and then ran after her.

He caught her in front of a large single story cottage and twirled her in his arms. "Gotcha.", he proclaimed as the door swung open revealing Bob and three strapping teenage boys.

Kate startled upon seeing her father and his current cohort of foster children. "Hi Dad, James, Mac, Bert."

"Kathleen, who is your friend?", Bob growled.

Kate stiffened but managed to pull Remus towards her father. "Dad, this is Professor Remus Lupin.", she turned to Remus and gestured to Bob "Remus, this is my father, Dr. Robert Gardener."

Remus stepped forward and shook Bob's hand. "Dr. Gardener, it is a pleasure to finally meet you."

Bob glared at Remus and tightened his grip, hoping the man would flinch. "I'm sure.", he growled.

Remus didn't seem to notice, he simply smiled and turned to the boys behind Bob. "Lads.", he nodded in greeting. "Kate, you didn't mention you had brothers."

Bob moved to say something but the oldest boy stepped forward. "James Baker, at your service.", he said as he extended his hand in greeting.

Remus took the boy's hand and smiled at the lad, who looked to be only a year or two older than Harry. "Remus Lupin, at your service and your family's service." This was met with a snort from Bob, who went back in the house as the boys introduced themselves.

As they went inside, Kate pulled James to the side. "What's the matter with Dad?"

James laughed. "He was expecting a plain wizard, not another werewolf and certainly not him.", he said as he gestured to Remus, who was chatting animatedly with Bert.

The next hour was spent in a lively conversation that included everyone but Bob, who was too busy scowling at Kate's friend. Every once and a while, Remus would try to bring Bob into the conversation but Bob would only grunt and continue scowling.

Eventually, Bob grunted "Kathleen, go check on dinner."

Before Kate had a chance to respond, Remus spoke for her. "Dr. Gardener, Kate may be your daughter but she is a guest in your house and should be treated as such."

The boys all backed away from Bob's line of sight as he growled out "Listen here you young upstart, I will do what I want in my house with my daughter." He stood up and walked towards Kate.

Remus leapt to his feet and stood between Kate and Bob. "She is an adult and a lady, and will be treated as such."

Bob stood toe to toe with Remus and stared into his eyes. "She is mine.", he growled.

At that moment, Remus desperately wanted to say _No Bob, she's mine, _but quickly thought better of it. Opting to calming state "No, Mr. Gardener, she is an adult and belongs to herself."

The older werewolf bared his teeth in a feral snarl. "She isn't yours."

Remus let out a deep growl and held his ground. "Who she chooses to give herself to is her business, not yours." Bob leapt forward knocking Remus to the ground but Remus soon gained the upper hand.

Remus pinned Bob to the ground. "Will you please stop trying to attack me and calm down?"

"No! You no'count citified pretty boy. You best just let me go and skedaddle 'fore I whoop those tea-sipping notions right outta ya.", Bob growled and began to try to push Remus off of him.

Kate cleared her throat. "Dad, you live near and work in a city.", Bob grunted but Kate sighed and continued. "Not to mention, you went to school at Hogwarts and Oxford so kindly tone down the accent and the self-righteous Missouri indignation."

"Don't you get uppity with me, Kathleen Rosemary Gardener!", Bob growled as Remus helped him off the floor. He pointed a finger at Remus. "And you…"

"What about him Dad? I think he is pretty darn wonderful, so kindly don't criticize him in front of me. Now if you'll excuse me I will go check on dinner.", she stated in an even tone.

"Uppity lil' pup." Bob muttered before turning to Remus. "You sure you want her? She's a handful, nothin' but spit and vinegar and wilder than a pet hare."

Remus dusted off his clothes and smiled at the older man. "Yes, I most definitely want her. If I had wanted a doormat, I would have gotten one years ago."

Bob gave a resigned sigh. "Well, I'll go get cleaned up then, maybe she'll have cooled down by the time I get back." He turned to walk out, but hesitated "If it works, I think you'll be good for her. But don't let her know I said that.", he commented before leaving the room.

Remus went into the kitchen and found Kate warming plates of food, while James, Bert, and Mac set the table. Bob entered the kitchen and the group ate.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After dinner, James dragged Kate off to his room to show off his acceptance letter from the Masters Program at Santa Cruz Magical Arts Institute, leaving Remus and Bob alone in the library. Bob poured them each a small brandy and sat next to Remus in a leather chair near the fire. The pair sat in silence for a few moments, until Remus worked up the nerve to so say something.

"Your sons seem to be quite the gentlemen.", Remus said politely.

Bob laughed. "They're not my sons. Though thanks for the compliment, they are fine men.", he said with a wistful smile.

"Sorry, I thought they were.", Remus said taking a sip of his brandy.

"Nah, Katie just has a knack for picking up strays and thought it best if they stayed with me rather than their folks.", the old man said with a proud smile. "She's gotten them where they are to day, not the likes of me.", his expression sobered and he turned to Remus. "She's a soft touch, ya know. She'd try to save the world, if you let her. And gods help you, if you are stupid enough to get between her and someone she loves."

Remus noticed that Bob's accent had softened. "I will take care of her and I will do my best to protect her.", he said solemnly.

Bob nodded. "I know you will." He got out of his chair and walked over to a bookcase and pulled down a photo album, promptly shrinking it and handing to Remus. "Here."

The younger werewolf raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"

Bob chuckled. "Everything, you ever wanted to know about Kate and more. Just don't read it around her, she tends to get upset about some of the rougher memories." Remus nodded and pocketed the miniature book, as Kate entered the room with James.

"Now you two had best get moving, you've only got about another hour of daylight. You watch out for her, ya' hear?", Bob said his eyes bright with unshed tears.

Remus inclined his head. "Yes, sir. You have my word." Bob nodded and moved to hug his little girl.

"Bye, Dad. I love you.", she said as she kissed his cheek.

"I love you too, Katiebug. Be safe, little one.", he said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kate and Remus headed back down the mountain path towards the apparition point. She took his hand and they walked in companionable silence. A few hundred yards from their destination, Kate pushed Remus and ran down the path.

He let out a low chuckle. "I thought I already caught you?"

Kate let out a defiant laugh. "True, but you were silly enough to let me go.", she proclaimed, while weaving among the trees along the path. As she turned to look for Remus, he startled her and pinned her against a tree.

Pushing against his chest, she couldn't break his position. He smirked at her. "I don't think so, Miss.", he purred before kissing the tip of her nose.

"Please Moony.", she pleaded and tried to duck under his arms. Remus let out a warning growl and stepped closer.

"No, I'm sorry. I caught you fair and square so you are mine now.", he replied sympathetically, before licking from the base of her neck up to her ear. He nipped her ear gently and then feathered her forehead and cheeks with soft kisses. After every kiss he would whisper the word 'mine', causing her to giggle. When he was finished, he pulled back and beamed at her.

Kate gently cupped his face with her hand. "My Remus.", she whispered.

He pulled her into a deep kiss, making her quite grateful for the support of the tree she staggered back into. After what seemed like too short a time, Remus broke their kiss. "My Kate.", he stated as he traced her cheek with his fingertips.

She placed her hand on his heart and smiled sweetly at him. "Yes, Remus, I'm your Kate. I'm your Kate for as long as you want me to be."

Remus gave a full and joyful laugh that echoed off the mountains. He then swept her into his arms and off her feet, carrying her the few feet to the apparition point.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

If Kate had thought he was going to set her down once they arrived the apartment, she would have been greatly mistaken. Remus carried Kate all the way back to her room, where he proceeded to set her in front of the bed.

He then removed her cloak, pausing for a moment he glanced between the cloak and her dress. "Looks like Christmas is early this year.", he said with a chuckle as he gathered the material and tossed it to the floor. Remus ran his hands down her body and let out a low strumming sound from his chest, drawing a whimper from her.

He arranged Kate in a sitting position on the edge of the bed. Kneeling in front of her, he started to remove her shoes.

Kate moved forward. "What are you doing?"

Remus flashed an impish grin at her before continuing to remove her shoes. "Seeing what exactly is mine."

"Remus, I don't think this is a good idea.", she squeaked and pulled her foot away.

"No, it is a brilliant idea. Now please give me your foot back so I can finish removing your shoe.", he calmly retorted.

"No, Remus. I'm not much to look at and there are scars.", she said, tucking her feet under her. He leaned forward and grabbed her leg, successfully removing her shoe. He captured her other leg and snatched the other shoe, as well.

"Remus, knock it off. I'm not a supermodel, I don't have a slim waif-like body. Trust me, it's much better to just touch me in the dark, fully clothed. If you want to see naked women, there is a place on Industrial that I would be more that happy to take you.", she squeaked as she struggled to get her leg back.

Remus stood up and paced in front of Kate. "Kathleen," he said in his most imposing professor voice. "I do not want to see other women, I want to see you. And when I say I want to see you that means all of you, scars and all."

Kate recoiled a bit and pulled her legs up to her chest. "Remus…", she started.

"No, Kate. You are going to hear me out. I want to see all of you, and quite frankly, I'm glad you're not a waif. I'm thrilled that you are soft yet strong, that you are warm, quirky, and passionate, and that you are…what you are... I happen to like the fact that you look like a mature woman and not a little girl. If I wanted little girls, I would pull a Flitwick and pick up 7th years at the graduation ceremony. I want you, not some little girl or frigid ideal.", he said raising his voice slightly.

Remus stopped pacing and crouched down in front of her. Reaching up, he tugged on the ribbon holding her hair in place and released her hair. He then tilted her chin so she was forced to look him in the eyes. "Listen, I'm not one to be fickle now am I? You've got scars, good, so do I. Scars are nothing to be ashamed about, a scar means you survived." He released her chin and rocked back on his heels, making a show of studying her figure. "And love, you are not a supermodel by muggle or wizarding standards." Kate looked away, and he cupped her face again. "Which is good. I do not have the patience to put up with that mindset. For mercy's sake, I almost lost it with the girls in my classes, who thought make-up application was more important than knowing the proper way to defend oneself from a boggart." She moved to say something, but Remus simply raised his hand. "Nor do I want to be forced to sleep with someone thinner than I myself. You look the way I want you to look. Now, stop fighting me and let me take off your bloody clothes.", he finally commanded..

Kate finally relented and gave her foot back to him. He ran his hand up under her dress to her thigh. "Garters?", he said with a smirk and ran his hand back down her leg. He moved to the other leg and she pulled away giggling. Moony growled causing Kate to blush and duck her head. "Sorry, I'm ticklish.", she whispered as she gave her leg back to him. He pulled the hem up of her robes up and viewed her legs.

Under her stockings, he could make out the angry red trail of a recent wound on her left calf. He traced it with his fingertip, "What happened?", he queried.

"A scuffle with a younger werewolf last full moon, she thought it would be a good idea to snap at one of the pups.", Kate whispered.

"Pups?", he asked slightly dazed.

"We have three children that transform in our pack, they are all under the age of ten so they don't transform into full adult wolves. The child took something from the older wolf, who decided to reinforce her position. I stepped in and got between the two of them." Kate noticed the expression on his face, and quickly added "It's nothing really, I've had worse."

Remus motioned for her to stand and gave her a reassuring smile. He untied the cord at her waist and proceeded to tug her robe up over her head, tossing it on the floor by her cloak. She moved to cover herself and he pulled her arms out to her sides. "Lovely, absolutely lovely.", he muttered as he traced the outline of her lace bra.

She was right, she did have scars ranging from small bite marks to slashes from claws and hexes but they weren't unseemly or too numerous. She also wasn't a waif but she wasn't out of proportion, her body was firm with padding and curves in all the right places. And the sight of her standing there in nothing but her light pink under things was having a very pronounced effect on Remus.

He reached around her and unfastened her garter belt. It fell to her thighs, dangling from the top of her stockings where it was still attached. "Well, that didn't go as planned.", he muttered to himself and unfastened the belt from her stocking, flinging it to the side. He then rolled each stocking slowly down; he figured out after removing the stocking from her right leg that for strategic balancing purposes having her sit during this part was probably a wise idea in the future. Especially, after Kate stumbled forward as he tried to get the last bit off her foot.

Recovering quickly, Remus wrapped his arms around Kate and engulfed her in a passionate embrace, letting his hands roughly wander her body. Unfortunately for him, his mind was wandering just as roughly though in more than two directions. Four to be precise, though in all fairness they had evenly split on to two sides. Remus's adult self and higher self were of the mindset that this was going too fast and they should slow down. On the other side of the divide was Moony, who wanted to rip what little clothing Kate had on so he could inspect and lick every inch of his desired mate; and Remus's younger self, who was currently matured to the ripe old age of 15, was just thrilled with the prospect of actually getting to see the naked woman he desired up close.

His hands drifted down and grasped Kate's ass. Moony let out a low growl in triumph as she responded with a passionate whimper urging him to continue. He slid his hands up her back to the fastening on her bra and began to tug at it empathically. Kate stepped out of his arms and unfastened the bra, sliding it off. Much to both Moony's and Remus's disappointment she managed to capture her breasts before they were fully revealed.

He glanced at her face and noticed the uncertainty in her eyes. Remus stepped forward and placed his hands over hers. "It's alright dearest. Anytime you want to stop, I promise I will.", he reassured. She nodded and moved her hands so he cupped her breasts.

Remus let out a ragged breath, as his hands came into contact with her pronounced nipples and soft breasts. The argument over the properness of the situation ceased in his head, and he paused to just revel in the feel of her skin. He heard her breath hitch as he gave her a soft squeeze. _Bob was wrong he thought to himself, she is definitely more than a handful, _he thought smugly to himself as he gave her another tentative squeeze and spread his legs slightly to adjust for a growing problem.

He took a step back and raked his eyes over her. _Only one piece left, _he assured himself as he looked at her knickers. They were odd, slightly old fashioned made of a light pink silk and edged with white lace, they covered her like a pair of small shorts. His hands slid down to her waist and tucked his thumbs into the band. Edging them down her hips, he felt his cock twitch. _Slow, go slow, you don't want to scare her off, _he thought to himself.

He tugged her knickers down to thighs and they slid gracefully to her ankles. Lending her a hand to steady herself, Kate awkwardly stepped out of her panties. He gazed silently at her and she gave a slight shiver. "Alright, I'm naked. Now what?", she finally asked.

Remus motioned his finger in a circle. "Turn," he softly commanded. She turned so she faced away from him and he took a moment to admire the view. He wanted to tell her how truly lovely she was, how he wanted to worship and admire her forever, how truly moved he was that she trusted him enough to share her visage with him. Unfortunately, his brain was currently deprived of a proper blood supply and he blurted out "Gods, you've got a big arse." He quickly slammed his hand over his mouth and Kate burst into gales of laughter.

"Sorry, I mean it's quite nice and round, not that it's fat or abnormally huge or anything. It's lush and ripe like a lush, ripe thing. Blast, I'm not very good at this.", he stammered turning bright red.

Kate wiped the tears from her eyes and pulled the sheet off the bed. "So I take it your like my backside?", she asked as she wrapped the sheet around herself.

"Yes", he paused for a moment. "Why are you covering up? I just got you undressed, stay undressed.", he said empathically.

"Why am I the only one naked?", she asked innocently, batting her eyelashes at him.

He folded his arms in front of his chest. "Because I've already seen me naked and I've worked quite hard to get you naked so kindly take that off get back so I can see you in your all together.", he said indignantly.

"Yes, but I haven't seen you naked.", she said with a slight pout. "It's only fair."

"You saw me in a sarong already, now take off that sheet.", he said as he chased her across the room.

She doubled-back towards the bed and climbed out of his reach. "No, you've already seen me naked, now take off your pants."

"I will do no such thing. Anyway, I'm far too thin to be of interest when there is such lush scenery about.", he mused, casting her a meaningful gaze. "Now take off that sheet!", he growled and made a grab for her, which she easily dodged.

"Good, I'm glad you're thin. Maybe it will balance out my leviathan sized ass.", she quipped.

"Now really Kate, I think you're getting a little a bit of an ego.", He said calmly. "I mean you're arse is quite lovely, but it is not the stuff biblical literature.", he drawled wickedly, causing her to pause. Remus took this moment of hesitation on her part to his advantage and pounced on her, pinning her to the bed belly down.

She moved her hips in an attempt to buck him off and he laughed at her, kissing down her back. "Please let me see you.", he pleaded between kisses.

"No, if I take my sheet off, my ass might try to rampage through downtown Tokyo.", she playfully growled as she continued to struggle against him.

He smiled and bit down on the bottom of her right cheek, making her yelp. "No Kate, your arse isn't that big. Your hips maybe?", he teased.

"Well, if I'm such a monster, why don't you sleep with Sirius tonight?", she playfully goaded.

"Because, pet, he's far too thin for my tastes. I prefer playmates with a bit more meat on them." He bit the top of her thigh through the sheet for emphasis. "Not to mention, you my dear are sweet enough to eat.", he said before licking the area he had just bit down on. "Now take it off."

She whimpered at his ministrations. "Not until you take off your clothes.", she weakly challenged, her resolve slowly breaking.

"Fine", he huffed and got off her. "Turn around.", he ordered as he stood up.

Kate turned her head to look at him "Please take off your clothes."

"Kate, turn around.", he growled.

"Fine", she said and rolled over on her side so she faced the other direction. "I don't see what all the fuss is about, you saw me and I have seen you without your shirt on."

He was unbuttoning his shirt, when he finally spoke to her. "That was different. You have not seen me in the all together and you have not seen me in the context of…of…doing whatever it is we are doing.", he snapped.

She stifled a laugh and let part of the sheet fall, revealing her back to him. Remus let his shirt fall to the floor and stepped forward so he could look down the length of the bed. He stopped undressing and stared at her. She was posed with one hand holding the sheet at her waist and the other propping her head up as she gazed at the wall. Her hair grazed her back and her breasts fell a little to the side under their weight, rose colored nipples pointing towards the wall. Kate sensed him staring at her. "Yes, I know my breasts are large as well.", she said in a self-deprecating tone.

Remus was getting angry now, though he didn't quite know why. He violently undid his belt and started unbuttoning his fly. "There is nothing wrong with the way you look. You look like a bloody goddess." Kate snorted and he let his trousers hit the floor. "I mean it, I quite fancy the way you look." As if to emphasize his point, Remus's penis tented his boxers and he was very grateful she was facing the wall.

He pulled down his pants and took a step towards the bed, promptly stumling forward as he tripped over his trousers. Kate shifted to turn.

"Don't turn around.", he commanded and she remained facing the wall. He quickly dived under the comforter and tried to strike a causal pose. "Alright, I'm starkers. Now take off the sheet.", he said.

"Can I turn around?", she asked.

"Yes.", he confirmed. "But only if you take off the sheet."

Kate dropped the sheet and rolled over so she was facing him. Remus sucked in a breath, taking in her form. Reaching out, he moved to run his hand down her torso and she gently hit him away. "Why are you covered up still?" He shrugged and gave her an innocent look. "Fine", she sighed and scrambled under the comforter with him.

"No, you don't young lady.", he admonished. "I want to see you." He tried to pull the comforter back, but she quickly tucked it in around her.

"No, this is not coming off.", she said with a smile and pressed her body against his causing him to suck in a breath at the sensation of skin on skin. She ran her hand over his chest, before ducking under the covers and straddling his legs. Bending down, she licked his nipple.

"Oh Gods Kate.", Remus moaned. She gave a husky chuckle and began to suckle on it making him push her away. "Where did you learn to do that?"

She pinned him to bed and stuck her head out of the covers to kiss him. "Just because I don't have practical experience doesn't mean that I don't have a wealth of academic knowledge. Now are you going to let me see you or do I need to cast a night vision spell so I can play with you under the covers?"

Shocked Remus rolled over on his side pushing her off him and on to the floor. Kate burst out laughing. "Kate, I'm sorry. I just ...", he tried to apologize.

"Don't worry, the comforter cushioned my fall.", she laughed.

He looked down to see her laying on the comforter, smiling up at him. "Nice view.", he chuckled.

"I was thinking the same thing.", she replied and climbed on the bed, swatting his butt before settling on the pillows.

He looked at her concerned. "I thought you wanted to take it slow.", he whispered, leaning his side against her.

She gave him a kind smile and scooted away giving him space. "Sorry", she said. Remus let out a small whimper missing the contact with her body.

"No, I just thought …you said that you were a virgin…and I thought you didn't want me to…you know.", he managed to get out whilst turning an amazing shade of red.

Kate giggled and he frowned at her. "I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at you, I just find the whole situation funny and it's either laugh or cry at this point."

"And why is the situation funny?", Remus huffed and turned away from Kate.

She rolled over and spooned up to his, threading her arms around him. "Oh, I don't know. Two thirty-something virgin werewolves fighting over who gets to see who naked is pretty comical.", she said warmly.

"I am not.", Remus pouted.

Kate smirked but tried to keep the humor from her voice. "So when did your first mate die?", she asked.

"What?!", he exclaimed.

"When did your first mate die? I talked with Abby this morning and got 'the wolves and the trees talk'. Werewolves mate for life, so the only way for you to have had more experience than I have would be if you were widowed.", she said with an impish gleam to her eyes.

"Fine, I am not intimately acquainted with the female anatomy. Are you happy now?", he pouted.

She nuzzled his neck. "It is nothing to be ashamed about, it's a species trait, it's not like you really had a choice in the matter.", she soothed. "I really wanted to last night."

Remus's eyes lit up. "You did?"

"Yes, very much so but sex isn't just sex, Remus.", she said cryptically and he rolled over to face her. "Once we take that step, we're stuck with each other and according to my godmother it's best to make sure we get along with each other at full moon before we do anything that we can't take back.", Kate explained as she picked up his hand and placed a kiss in his palm.

He gave a dejected sigh. "Yes, you're right that does seem to be the best course of action.", he said as he moved to leave the bed.

Kate caught his wrist. "Why are you so quick to give up? You are almost as bad as me. Please just hear me out.", she requested and he remained on the edge of the bed. "Evidently, it is quite common for courting pairs to play.", she said bashfully.

"Play?", he asked still trying to process everything she had just said that just happened to be very inconveniently absent for every book he had ever read on werewolves. Not to mention the fact that according to all the experts at the Ministry, he was supposed to be violent, insatiable sex fiend. "Play?", he repeated. Trying to ignore the deep growl in his mind, urging him to shut up and play with the woman.

"Yes, play.", she replied shyly. "It is part of courtship. When a pair is interested in each other, they spend time getting to know each other…," she blushed and fell silent her courage failing her. "You're right it was a silly idea, maybe we should stop.", she finally said, dropping his wrist and moving to get out of the bed.

Remus stopped her. "What does playing entail exactly?"

Kate looked down at the sheets, feeling very exposed and vulnerable at the moment. "Well, Abigail said it is pretty much what we have been doing but it can go further. Essentially, it is everything but…" He cut her off with a possessive kiss.

Pulling back, he gazed into her eyes. "Would you like to then? Play that is?", he asked, ruffling his hair. She nodded and resumed kissing him.

She gasped as he laid her back on the bed and straddled her. She let out a whimper as he ground his erection against her curls. Smiling at his success he repeated the action but hissed in pain as his aching member came into contact with her.

"Did I hurt you?", she asked, concern washing over her face.

"No, I'm fine.", he said in a slighter higher than average voice.

"No, you're not fine. You're in pain, Remus. What's the matter?"

He didn't answer and rolled to the side. Tentatively, she reached her hand out to his erection. He grabbed her hand. "No, Kate. I want you to go first."

Kate silenced him with a kiss and dropped her hand down to his arousal. "This isn't a competition, let me help you.", she purred before kissing him again and tracing a finger down his length drawing another hiss from him. She grabbed his hand and guided it to his erection. "Please, show me how.", she requested. He lead her through the motions and much to his embarrassment ended rather quickly. Kate cast a quick cleansing spell and kissed his forehead.

"I'm sorry that was so…", he started but she pressed a finger to his lips.

"I'm quite flattered that you find me that attractive.", she said before kissing him on the lips.

He broke the kiss and flipped her on her back. He began stroking her sides. "You are amazing.", he chuckled. "And I do believe it is my turn.", he said with a wicked smile and began feathering her neck, shoulders, and breasts with kisses. She writhed under him and gasped as he flicked his tongue over her nipple.

Noticing her reaction, he closed his lips around it and began to gently suck, while rolling it's twin between his fingers. Kate whimpered and wriggled hips as the tension at her center increased. Remus switched breasts and dropped his hand so it rested on her mound. Looking at Kate, he saw a look ecstasy on her face and smiled.

Remus broke contact with her breast and smiled shyly at her. He took her hand and guided it down to her center. "I need you to show me as well.", he said reverently.

Guiding his hand, Kate taught Remus where and how to touch her. "Gods, you're a quick learner.", she gasped as his fingers followed her lead. She let out a giggle and tilted her head back overcome with the joy spreading through her body. She look positively radiant and he was awestruck that he was the cause of such pleasure.

He felt her contract around his fingers and notice her grasping at the bedding, as if holding on for dear life. What had started as giggles, whimpers and gasps, escalated into growls. As she shattered, she screamed out his name and arched her back off the bed. She fell back on the bed, eyes closed and a smile plastered on her face.

He gently removed his hand and cast a cleansing charm. Propping himself up next to her, Remus laid gazing at her in wonder.

Finally, she opened her eyes and smiled at him. "Thank you. You were wonderful, thank you, thank you, thank you.", she said punctuating each thank you with a kiss. She then looked towards the door and burst into giggles. Remus stopped her giggling with a deep kiss and some rather pleasant fondling.

"Oh Fuck!", Kate suddenly whispered. "We didn't cast a silencing spell."

"So?", He replied before the reality of the situation hit him. "Oh, I forgot about that.", he said before breaking into a roaring laugh.

**A/N: Ahhh… young love or at least thirty-something mutual masturbation. Well, now you know what all the growling was about. This should make for an interesting scene, once Paige and Sirius arrive to investigate. For all our age of majority readers, the NC-17 version of this scene will be posted on AFFN. The scene is about a page and a half longer with more detail, a higher level of descriptive language, and more comedy at the expense of poor Kate and Remus. It would have been posted here but I didn't want to corrupt too many minors or lumberjacks or farmers or anyone whose main role in society is the harvesting of natural resources. **

**As always, thank you for reading. It is wonderful to have the opportunity to play and create in this chaos, and it is even better to have people who are willing it witness it. And a special thank you to all our reviewers, who are so awesome and very lovely answered the threat put out by Hornhead. **

**Jen: I'm ecstatic that we have an addict. Thank you for the review and for continuing to read our story. **

**Miss Moony16: Wow, you get that wonder pup, Miss Moony. You get him. Congrats on foiling the machine, we appreciate all the reviews. To answer your question, full moon is in a day and a half, which explains part of what is going on. **

**Surfergurl16: Thank you for your glowing review. Yes, chapter 15 was rather romantic wasn't it and it is all Hornhead's fault because she rocks. **

**LighteningRain: You get that stereo. Lame Christmas music is rather painful, so I do sympathize. **

**Sassafras: Relatives from Dallas, huh? Well then, nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more. Or was that the response for relatives from Amsterdam? I forget. Anyway, good luck on the SAT II's. And just for the comfort and safety of everyone reading, Jack did give Kate wolfsbane but you are correct in pointing out that said wolfsbane isn't on the up and up. **

**And last but definitely not least…**

**Katrina McGonagall: Your reviews are absolutely fabulous, so don't you ever call them lame again or we'll send you Jack and you'll be forced to endure the owl and bungee cord song. As far as Paige goes, she is the creation of our totally terrific, wonderful, and creative Hornhead, who sends her thanks for your most excellent compliments. **

**Anyway, that is about it I think. Please feel free to review, I wrote this chapter so if you don't like anything or have any questions feel free to bring them up. Again thank you for reading, Prof. Pendragon. **


	17. Montgomery Manor

**Disclaimer: We seek to free Harry Potter, he has been locked in that cupboard for too long. Until that day, he belongs to J.K. Rowling. **

**Warning: Sexual situations, mild violence and dark topics. The darker aspects of our characters' personalities are going to become more and more visible the closer our story draws to full moon due to numerous factors, which will be discussed in the story (coughs) and have been subtly hinted at already. So please pay attention to the warnings from this point on. Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy ride. We are disembarking from the land of fluffiness, don't say we didn't warn you.**

**Hornhead: This is what we get when we have Sociology major as an author! hehehe**

Chapter 17: Dumbledore on line two…

Paige and Sirius started warily walking down the hall, listening for anything unusual. The growling was getting louder and was punctuated with gasps and whimpers. Sirius nudged Paige. "I thought you said this wouldn't happen until after the full moon?"

As if answering his question, Kate could be heard screaming out. "Yes, Remus. Oh Gods, YES!"

Paige covered her mouth as she burst into laughter. "I don't know.", she managed to gasp out.

The room fell silent for a few moments. Paige crossed her arms and stared at the door, willing it to open. Suddenly the sound of laughter erupted fro the room, a few seconds later a sarong clad Remus flung open the door. "That would be a yes.", he yelled into the room, after seeing Paige and Sirius in the hall.

Paige snorted. "Didn't Kate already cover that part with the yelling?"

Moony took in their state of dress and quirked an eyebrow. "Actually, she wanted to know if anyone else was home. Though, she did cover a lot of things."

Sirius gave his friend a scolding look. "Moony, I thought you said gentlemen use silencing spells?", he said as he tried to peer into the room.

Moony stretched blocking the doorway and shrugged. "You also said that gentlemen let ladies come first.", he said thoughtfully as he scratched his chest. "Guess I'm not much of a gentleman."

Kate laughed from inside the bedroom. "That was my fault actually."

Moony turned to look at her over his shoulder. "Quite, you bloody blue stocking.", he teased. "I'll have to remedy that in the future."

Paige raised her eyebrows and nodded. "Right, I think we'll just go to bed now. Bed her well, Moony. I'd hate to have a frustrated werewolf on my hands."

Moony watched them head down the hallway and ducked back into the room, closing the door behind him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Moony looked about the room and saw Kate lounging on bed, naked and smiling. He let out a deep chuckle. "You look happy.", he declared as he raked his eyes over her with a predatory gaze. "Up to playing some more?", he drawled and crossed to the bed.

Kate nodded and he placed his right hand over her heart. Giving a contented sigh, he slid his hand down to her belly. He gave another chuckle, noticing the soft swell it had to it. Almost out of instinct, Kate shied away from his touch. As she drew away, Moony let out a possessive growl.

She ignored his protest and moved to cover herself. "Maybe we should get some sleep?", she meekly suggested.

Moony pushed back the covers and pounced on her, straddling her legs. "Why don't you want me to notice you?", he said in a gruff voice.

"It's dangerous to be noticed.", Kate said in a whisper.

Moony let out a gentle thrumming sound and ran his hands over her body, stopping again at her belly. "I would never hurt you dear one." He leaned down and placed a kiss just under her belly button before gazing at her adoringly.

She was about to reproach him for this action but noticed his eyes were different, almost glowing with a bright gold color. "Moony?", she asked timidly.

"Yes, love.", he replied before going back to kissing her torso. "You're perfect you know, healthy and fertile.", he commented kissing and licking a trail to her hip, where he gave her a playful nip causing her to whimper. "Beautiful."

He moved down her body and laid his head on her belly. He looked up at her and she saw love in his eyes. Kate felt as if she had been thrown into a tempest of emotions, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath and let go, allowing her other half take over.

Luna blinked and ice blue eyes met golden ones. Moony smirked and nuzzled his intended's belly, drawing a contented thrum from her. Kissing down lower, he nuzzled her curls and kissed the top of her mound, moving to kiss, nip, and lick at the inside of her thighs. He paused as she opened her legs wider for him, his mind reeling in four different directions.

Moony desperately wanted to investigate her more, to lave her thoroughly and to learn every inch of her. Much to his annoyance, he was having to fight Remus for control. Not that Remus didn't want to do that to Kate, he did, very much so in fact. The problem was that both the younger and older Remus desperately wanted to thrust into the lush blossom Kate had just offered to them. This created an interesting prospect, because for the first time in almost thirty years, Moony and Remus's higher self were on the same side.

This didn't really disturb them, well not too much anyway. What was disturbing them were the thoughts of the younger Remus. Where the older Remus was simply tempted to revel in the feeling of being enveloped by Kate, Remus's fifteen year-old self wanted to possess Kate and was quite willing to do almost anything to get her. He didn't seem to care that it would essentially be rape, he just wanted to keep her and with one swift thrust she would be his forever. She wouldn't leave him because with one inalterable action she wouldn't be able to, and he would never have to loose her. He would be loved and cared for, and no one would be able to take that a way. It didn't matter what he had to do to get her, nothing matter outside the fact that she would be his seemed to matter.

Kate opened her eyes to see Remus, sitting between her legs staring at her with a conflicted look in his amber eyes. She was about to say something, when the cell phone rang and she gently prodded him. "I'm sorry, Remus. I need to get that it's the emergency line."

Moony shook his head trying to regain control and moved to the side, letting Kate up. "Hello, Yes, Abigail. What's wrong?", she spoke into the phone before pausing to write something down. "Alright, I think I've got it. Thank you, have a good night.", she finished and hung up the phone.

Kate turned to Moony. "Dumbledore will be placing a firecall in about five minutes. You can take it in the dining room, if you like.", she said gently.

He just nodded and readjusted his sarong. Closing the door behind him, Moony left the room and headed for the bathroom, where a painfully cold shower was waiting for him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paige changed into her PJ's and noticed that Sirius did the same. He opted to not wear a shirt and his pants sat rather low on his hips, giving Paige an eyeful of his toned abs as he wasn't wearing a shirt. Sirius didn't sit for long, however, and opted to lay on his stomach and took a picture frame sitting on her nightstand. He studied the picture of a teenage Paige and a boy with dark brown hair. He had her in a head-lock and was messing up her hair while she tried to break free, hitting and kicking him for all she was worth. Paige giggled and stretched out next to him. Pointing to the picture she said "That's Randy, my youngest older brother."

Sirius smiled as the Paige in the photograph finally managed to bite Randy and broke free. "You two look a lot alike."

Paige nodded. "Yeah, we do. I just thought of a game."

He raised an eyebrow. "What game is that, luv?"

"Well, we take turns asking questions about each other. Just remember turn about is fair play, so don't ask anything you wouldn't want to answer." Paige said.

Sirius frowned. "How would this help me?"

Paige ran her fingers through his soft new hair and rolled onto her back to stretch for a minute before resuming her previous position. "You were saying the other day that you could think of some memories if you tried long enough, I just plan on helping you bring that about. You look handsome normally, but when you start thinking of your school days, you're absolutely beautiful."

Sirius laughed softly and nodded. "Alright, I'll go first. How many brothers and sisters do you have?"

Paige yawned and replied, "I have two sisters and two brothers, plus in-laws. Randal and I are the only two who aren't married, so that gives you an idea of family gatherings. My turn, how many brothers and sisters do you have?"

Sirius looked down at the picture of Paige and Randy. "I had one, but he was killed.", he answered tonelessly. "He was a deatheater who wanted out. Mum and Dad were proud of him when he first joined up with Voldemort, I can't say that they were quite so happy in the end."

Paige winced and nodded. "I know what you mean, that's kind of hard to deal with."

Sirius looked at her sharply. "What are you playing at?"

Paige grimaced and bit her lip. "Nothing, just… something I don't like to talk about."

Sirius gave her a curious look and said, "Well, then my next question is how do you know what that feels like?"

Paige turned her head away from him and looked at the floor. "Sirius, it's something I really don't want to talk about. Just accept that I know about that and ask a different question, please?"

Sirius shook his head, frowning at her sudden withholding of information. "I'm afraid not, luv. If you say that you know what this is like, I want to know why." Paige sighed and Sirius tapped on her shoulder, getting her to turn back to him. He looked into her eyes searchingly and asked, "Please?"

"Fine.", she grumbled. "I know what that's like because I have a murdering, orphaning, fucking prejudiced sister; okay?"

Sirius knit his brow and replied, "I don't understand, Paige. How is your sister a murderer?"

Paige made a sour face. "Because she's a bigger idiot than our family gives her credit for.", she snapped. "Randal is the only other person in my family who knows about what she is, everyone else just thinks she spends all of her time over in England ignoring all of us because I pissed her off. The real reason is because she crucioed two people until they were literally insane and I beat the hell out of her when I found out." Paige stopped and closed her eyes, willing herself not to cry.

Sirius pulled her closer and gave her a reassuring hug. "I'm sorry, luv, I shouldn't have pushed you like this."

Paige wiped a tear away from her eye and gave a short laugh. "Well, that just means that I get to ask you a hard question. I'll save it, though, until I think of a good one. My next question is…. How did you and Remus meet?"

Sirius grinned and pointed a finger at her. "That is one I remember. It was our first night in our dorm at Hogwarts. He, James, Peter, Frank and I all shared the room. At first I didn't pay much attention to him because he wasn't a pureblood. Instead, I focused on James and Frank. He kept to himself most of the time, and you've seen how quiet he can be, so it wasn't hard to forget about him that night. A few days later, James and I were trying to figure out how to do a prank that we had dreamed up and he pointed out a charm in a book that would help us. Well, he just became a part of our group from then on and we became inseparable."

Paige giggled and nodded. "I can tell, he seems to relax around you in the same way that Kate relaxes around her friends."

Sirius smiled. "Alright, next question." He put his chin in his hand and regarded Paige curiously. "Hmm. What to ask you? Ah, how about what is your favorite thing about yourself?"

Paige chuckled and raised her eyebrows. "Wow, there's a tough question. My favorite thing… I guess it would have to be… Geez, you couldn't give me an easy one, could you?"

Sirius shrugged. "Well, it reveals a lot about a person. What you like about yourself is probably the thing you try to project the most to the world."

"I'm impressed. Well, I would have to say that my favorite thing about myself is my loyalty to people and my sense of humor.", Paige responded. "My turn, what are you like when no one else is around?"

Sirius laughed and shook his head. "I don't know, drunk?" Paige gave him an admonishing look and he smiled again. "I guess I'm not as happy as I am around people, so I withdraw into myself."

"Withdraw? How so?", Paige asked, getting up and pulling a bottle of whiskey out of her desk.

Sirius looked at the bottle and sat up, ready for the effects it could bring. "I think about things and imagine how things could be. What's that?"

Paige held up the bottle before pulling out two shot glasses and winked. "Jack Daniels, my favorite kind of alcohol. Care for some?"

Sirius got up and reached for a shot glass, noticing Paige was watching him intently. He tipped it back, surprised at the bite it had considering it was muggle. He held the glass out for more and commented, "Good, not nearly as strong as firewhiskey, but pretty good. Kind of like butterbeer with a kick." He looked up at Paige and saw her eyeing him intently and grinned, making her smile bashfully and look away. "Having a good time, luv?"

Paige held her head up. "I was just thinking of how toned your stomach is, for someone who considers himself malnourished. My turn."

Sirius shook his head. "No, I haven't asked a question yet."

Paige grinned back at him and responded, "You asked if I was having a good time, that's a question about me. My turn." Sirius accepted this and waited for the next question while Paige thought. She finally looked at him carefully and leaned back on the desk, suddenly more melancholy. "Sirius, what was the worst thing about Azkaban?"

Sirius sighed and looked at the bottle in her hand. "It's going to take more alcohol than this to make me comfortable answering that one."

Paige started to protest and Sirius held up a hand in defeat. "Alright, I did ask you a hard one, so I guess I have to answer this one, don't I?" He ran his hand through his hair, still surprised at how soft it felt. "It would be the silence. After a while, people just couldn't take it any more and they would start screaming, or laughing maniacally, and it would last for a few days. When it finally stopped, when everything went quiet again, they had given up and would be dead within a day or two." He stared at nothing for a while before shaking himself of the memories. He looked up to see Paige regarding him sadly and tried to laugh it off. The sound coming out of his throat was eerie and hollow, even to him.

"Alright, luv. I'm going to get us out of this mood. My next question is, what is your favorite piece of lingerie?"

Paige forced a giggle and set the Jack down, drinking a shot as she did so. "My favorite piece of lingerie?

"Well, that would have to be my light blue thong and the green sports bra that I wear to work out."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Sports bra? What's that?"

Paige wordlessly got up and walked into her closet, shutting the door and came out a moment later with her shirt off. Sirius regarded the band of elasticized fabric squeezing her breasts together and scrunched his nose up. "Eh, they look better in your other bras, but this is good."

Paige put her hands on her hips and smiled. "Well, someone is getting used to them! Let's see how good they look when you don't get to see them for a while."

Sirius stepped toward her and she pushed him away, dancing out of his reach. He grinned at her and grabbed her arm, forcefully pulling her back to him. "No, I have just seen them at their best. This does look good, very good, but I like it when they aren't so… flat."

Paige tried to smack him, but he caught her hand instead and there was a mad struggle for the other one. Sirius won and repositioned himself so that he had both hands grasped firmly in one of his. Paige's gaze stayed even with his, not flinching at all, and he smiled. "You keep getting yourself into these situations, don't you luv? Last time I tickled you, what should I do this time?"

Paige stuck her tongue out at him and wriggled, but stayed in his hands. "Why don't you let me go so I can sneeze on you some more?"

Sirius laughed and replied. "No, I think I'll save that one for another time. I could tie you up and see what you have hidden in here, but that might be an invasion of privacy." Paige nodded her approval for disregarding that idea and Sirius continued. "There's always the frosting… but I don't feel like that much sugar tonight." His eyes traveled to the almost full bottle on her desk and he perked up. "I am in the mood for more of your liquor. It sounds very good right now."

Paige sighed. "Alright, but can I stay untied for this one? This is best when I can move around and such."

Sirius winked. "I was just joking, luv." He picked her up and tossed her on the bed, eyeing her prone form. She had an athletic build; with toned legs, a firm butt, and defined arms. The tattoo on her back was something he hadn't noticed before, or hadn't paid attention to, in any case. It was a large set of butterfly wings that spanned her entire back, dipping down below her pajama bottoms.

She rolled over to face him and he admired her front, the ample cleavage was very appealing and she had a firm defined stomach, much thinner than he'd like to see, but it was appealing in it's own way. Her face, of course, was always very pretty to him, with it's rose bud lips, high cheekbones, and large dark brown eyes that he found quite compelling when she stared at him. She was currently doing just that and waiting for him to move on. He smiled sheepishly at her, getting caught looking at someone so intently was kind of embarrassing.

She smiled at him and sat up, pulling him toward the bed. He fell onto it next to her and she giggled. "Ok, I've got it figured out. How many girls have you shagged?" She laid back casually and waited for her answer, unknowingly putting pressure on Sirius.

He gulped tentatively and grimaced. "Well… Um, I… ah… not that many?" He knew he couldn't lie completely, she would find out sooner or later.

Paige shook her head and knocked her knee into his. "I asked how many."

Sirius's voice cracked as he said, "Three." Paige nodded and Sirius suddenly felt like she was comparing him to herself. "I know it's not that many and you've been with loads more than that but-"

Paige cut him off with, "No, Sirius, don't think like that. I'm just curious."

He smiled weakly at her and nodded again. "Ok, now it's my turn. I won't ask you how many you've slept with, partially because I don't want to hear it. I will, however, ask you who was your first kiss and when was it?"

Paige smiled at the memory and replied, "Jeffery Sethlenn, my first boyfriend. We were at the Spring Dance my great aunt would hold every year in the manor and went outside for a walk in the gardens. It was always so neat out there and the blooms had started falling off the apple trees so we had a shower of flowers falling around us."

Sirius gave her an impressed look and chuckled. "Sounds like a good memory. What manor is this?"

Paige tilted her head to the side and closed her eyes, picturing all of it in her mind. "The Montgomery Manor. Great Aunt Ruthie left it to me when she died, as I was the person in the family whom she hated the least. It's a fantastic place, or at least it used to be, with lush gardens that always seemed to be on the verge of being overgrown. The walkways that went through them were filled with fountains and benches and such, nice if you want to find a place to sit and think or read. Inside, if you go in the front door, was the formal dining room. It always seemed to sparkle to me, plates and such on the table at all times. The mahogany table and chairs is an antique that has been handed down since my Great-Great-Grandmother came here from Ireland. The inlay on it was fantastic and I was always so scared at her dinner parties that I would scratch it, so I didn't like sitting at it. The kitchen was big, with an enormous stone fireplace that even had a stand for a cauldron if needed. I would always go in there and get the cook to give me freshly baked cookies and even homemade mints at Christmas time. The room where the parties would take place is the ballroom. Aunt Ruthie had it built after she bought the house in the 30's for all of her grand get togethers and such. Uncle Rodolpho was always fascinated by history and learning, so he had a good sized library and I used to go in there for hours and read." Paige opened her eyes and grinned at Sirius, who had been listening raptly the entire time. "Sorry, I tend to ramble about Montgomery Manor."

Sirius regarded her keenly. "I like it, you get an incredibly serene look on your face when you talk about it." Paige put her arms behind her head and Sirius asked, "you inherited a house but you live in an apartment?"

She nodded, a bit of sadness peeking through on her face. "Yes, the last few years of Ruthie's life were harsh and it started deteriorating pretty badly. By the time it was given to me, along with all of her assets and bank accounts, it was no longer habitable. I want to get it looking good, but I don't have the time or energy to oversee the construction right now."

Sirius thought for a moment and perked up. "You have the money, though?" Paige nodded and he continued excitedly. "If we're here for very long, Remus and I could do it for you!"

Paige shook her head and replied, "No, I'd rather do it myself. I want it to look how it did when I was little. I appreciate the thought, but I'd rather do it myself."

He shrugged. "Well, you talk about it so affectionately that I thought you might want help."

Paige smiled and clapped her hands in front of her. "Alright, now for the next questions. What nicknames do you have and which one is the most embarrassing for you?"

Sirius groaned and dramatically slumped down next to her. "Ugh, you sure like picking the ones I don't want to answer, don't you? Well, there's Padfoot, Filth, Blood-traitor (my dear old mums personal favorite), Lapdog, and your newest addition, Tacoman."

Paige took all of this in and patted him on the back. "Which one is the most embarrassing?"

Sirius gazed into her eyes and Paige knew the answer before he told her. Sighing, he responded, "Blood-traitor. Mum started calling me that when I was put into Gryffindor."

Paige grimaced and tugged on his arm, deciding that the game was over. "C'mon, I'm getting tired. Let's get to sleep, huh?"

Sirius nodded absently and they settled in under the covers. The only thoughts that stayed very clearly with him throughout Azkaban to now were the memories of his family. Those were some of the worst he had, only being trumped by the night that he had gone to Godric's Hollow and found James and Lily dead.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Remus emerged from the bathroom and rapped on Paige's door. He was greeted by Paige, who was clad only in a thong and her sports bra. "What?", she whined.

Remus looked at Paige and out of habit glanced down, inadvertently seeing her skimpy attire. "Oh!", he exclaimed, covering his eyes with his hand. He blushed and looked anywhere but at the young witch. "Sorry to wake you, but Dumbledore will firecalling here shortly and Sirius needs to be present.", he stammered out.

"Okay", she replied and shut the door. Remus took a deep breath and headed toward the dining room, pondering if Kate owned abbreviated knickers as well.

Sirius walked out into the living room, tying the pajamas as he entered. Looking over at Remus, Sirius noticed he was clad in nothing but a sarong. He smirked at the half-naked werewolf on the couch and asked, "You too, huh?"

Remus nodded and led the way into the dining room where Dumbledore was already waiting for them. Sirius spoke up first, afraid that something was wrong with Harry. "Is everything alright, Professor?"

Dumbledore took in the state of the two men before him and twinkled. "Of course, gentleman. This call isn't for anything horrible. Don't worry, Sirius, Harry is fine." He paused for a moment. "It must be hotter than I thought in Vegas.", he remarked. Both men shifted uneasily and Dumbledore continued, having gotten the reaction he wanted. "I'm calling in concerns to Mr. Pettigrew."

Sirius smirked, unable to resist the sarcasm that he usually used when he attended Hogwarts. "Well, if he were here, we'd sic the girls on him. Unfortunately, he's not, so we'll just have to settle for hoping that he meets a big hungry cat somewhere."

Remus cleared his throat. "What does this have to do with us, Albus?"

"It has a great deal to do with you, to be sure. He's risking being seen, which means we may be able to capture him soon and clear Sirius's name."

Sirius whooped and hugged Remus before turning back to Dumbledore. "Where was he seen at? How easily could he be caught? Was it a reliable source who saw him? What was he doing?"

Albus laughed at the excited man and yelled, "Calm down, my boy! Calm down! He was spotted in a mountainous region of Japan trying to recruit an order of Samurai Wizards. Posing as a photographer, he was taking pictures of everything he could feasibly be interested in. However, we are very fortunate to have posted three Order members there already and they saw him quite clearly.

"What do you want us to do?" Remus asked.

"Just keep a low profile for now, we can't risk Sirius getting caught. Oh, and kindly have a word with Miss Gardener in regards to Order members, she scared Tonks half to death."

Sirius laughed. "Consider it done, Professor. Anything else you'd like us to do?"

"No, but I will let you know if something comes up. And keep up the good work, if you maintain this pace, you might be back in time for Halloween. Good night fellows. Rest well" Dumbledore said before disappearing from the fireplace.

Sirius hugged Remus excitedly. "He's getting sloppy, Remus. Do you know what this means?"

"Yes, old friend.", Remus replied thoughtfully.

Sirius scoffed at him and shook him slightly. "Remus, I've waited fifteen years for that bastard to be brought to justice, how can you remain so calm?"

Remus took a deep breath and gave him his brightest smile. "It is fucking fantastic, Sirius. I guess it just really hasn't sunk in yet."

Sirius stepped away from him and frowned. "What's wrong, Moony?", he said as he patted Remus on the shoulder.

"Nothing to worry yourself over Padfoot. Get some rest.", Remus said with a weak smile and headed toward the door.

Sirius caught Remus's arm and pulled him back over. "No, you don't. I'm your best friend, you can tell me."

Remus sighed. "What's today's date?"

"I don't know, why?" Sirius inquired.

A flicker of pain flashed in Remus's eyes. "I just wanted to know how many days I have left with her. Maybe, it's better not to ask."

Sirius frowned and nodded his understanding. "Remus, we may not end up going back to England any time soon, remember? That's why you and I were sent, because we don't have jobs in England to get back to and we could easily have to stay here months. I wouldn't mind it, I actually get to go places and see people here."

Remus smiled and nodded unenthused. "Sorry friend, it's just close to that time of month."

Sirius sighed. "Is that all?" he asked. "By the way you sound, it's close to the end of the world."

"Yes, I'm sure.", the werewolf responded.

Sirius could see that he wouldn't get anything out of Remus in this mood and shrugged. "Well, I'm here if you need to talk to me, as always."

Remus nodded and headed back to bed. "Goodnight, Padfoot."

"Night." Sirius said and sauntered into the kitchen for a snack.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When Sirius got back into Paige's room, he saw that she was waiting for him. "I thought you were asleep?"

She looked up from her translations and winked. "Well, it's a lot more fun when I have someone to keep me warm. What on earth did he want at this time of night?"

"Oh! Peter has been rallying people for Voldemort and he's getting a bit haphazard with whom he lets see him. A few members of the Phoenix saw him over in China."

Paige nodded and scribbled something on the parchment before putting it away for the night. "My guess is that Tom saw him."

Sirius walked over to the bed and crawled in, grateful for her warmth. "Who's Tom?"

She yawned and smiled. "Oh, just a guy that used to work around here, once he got recruited he was sent over there to keep an eye on things for Albus. Kinda cute, but too short for my tastes."

"Oh? From what I've heard, you don't really have a preference." Sirius teased.

Paige snorted beneath him and poked him in the ribs. "Well, I like guys who are taller than me. That way I can wear high heels and not make him look short."

Sirius laughed loudly, causing Paige to cast a silencing spell over the room. "Well, then you must love me."

Paige looked up at him from her pillow and patted his chest. "I'd like you a lot more if you were quiet."

Sirius grinned at her and nodded his comprehension, resigning himself to silence so she could sleep.

**A/N: There goes Paige again always after the tall, silent types. Anyway, that's all for today. For those of you that may be wondering, werewolves in our little universe have a condition psychologists refer to as MPD or Multiple Personality Disorder because of the split in their physical form once a month. The socially integrated werewolves have smaller the gaps between their personalities and have less fragmented personalities. For example, Kate's human and wolf personas get along fairly well because she was raised around other werewolves and socialized in the ways of using both aspects to her fullest advantage. Remus on the other hand…**

**But enough of boring subtext on to the reviews as brought to you by hornhead. ;**

**Hello, everyone! First of all, I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed my one-shot stories, as I won't be able to on them. (hence why they are one shots) I really appreciate it guys, you people rock!**

**Anyway, back to this world! **

**Miss Moony; You wana know something funny? I had absolutely NO idea what you were talking about when I read your review, 'cause I wasn't the one who answered the reviews and I hadn't read Prof's author's notes, so I just thought you were going nutters until she explained. NOW I know, so I've decided that you are only half way to insane, not all the way there as I originally thought when I read your review. ;p**

**Katrina McGonagall; I'd enjoy some Jack action, too. The bad thing about that is that he would break into song while he's 'having fun'….. (think of the way you'd react to him singing I Feel Pretty) so I'm not sure he's the guy for me. Sirius, on the other hand, now there's something I could live with. **

**Lightning Rain; It got lost when you complained about the stereo? I'm lost. How….? Something tells me it's a lot simpler than my mind is making it out to be. Because I'm seeing flying ninjas, pink hippos, and a hell of a lot of spam.**

**Surfergurl; I think the scene where Kate and Remus have sex will be far more interesting to read. I can think that, because I'm one of the authors, but maybe I'm wrong. As it's already written, I'll have to reread it in a few days and decide whether I like it or not. Hehehe, romance isn't lost… it just moved to Las Vegas.**

**Sassafras; Bob is just really protective of his daughter. He could be worse, but he knows that she'd defend Remus and he doesn't want to fight his daughter.**

**That's all for now, folks. Stay tuned for another exciting installment and please don't sue!**


	18. In the Altogether

**Disclaimer: For the 18th time, we don't own it. Come on now, let's all get on the same page. (Unlike Sirius, who will get on the same Paige… sorry, bad joke)**

**Warnings: Mild violence, sexual language, Remus angst, Jack is still being Gerry, and yet more compelling mysteries. **

**Sponsors: This chapter was brought quickly by our reviewers, who gave us some really juicy reviews that made us so happy we pushed to get this little chapter out in less than 24 hours. **

Chapter 18: What is Jack Eating?

Remus was not in a chipper mood when he woke up the next morning. In fact, most would describe his mood as dark, if not full out brooding. Kate had changed into nightgown and had fallen asleep by the time he returned to the room the night before, a fact that both relieved and frustrated him. He awoke to find her missing and her side of the bed neatly made.

He groggily climbed out of bed and noticed several things out of place. Kate's closet was considerably less full and her jewelry box was no longer on the dresser. Also the large traveling trunk that Kate used as a makeshift side table was missing. Remus threw open the door and stormed out into the hall, stumbling over the missing steamer trunk.

Kate, who was exiting the bathroom, helped him up. "Are you alright?", she asked concern flooding her voice.

Remus nodded. "I'm fine, I just…", he started before remembering the state of the bedroom. "Why weren't you there when I woke up this morning? Why did you get dressed last night? Why did you make your side of the bed? Why is the trunk out in the hallway?", he rapidly fired his questions at her never really giving her a chance to answer.

Kate finally raised her hand and quieted the agitated werewolf. "Beloved, calm down." The term of endearment seemed to settle him a bit. "I wasn't in bed this morning because I have an early appointment and I thought you had wanted to sleep. I put on a nightgown last night because I was cold. I made my side of the bed because I felt like it. And the trunk is in the hallway because there isn't enough room for it in the living room right now.", she answered all his questions soothingly and ended by kissing his cheek. "Now if you will please excuse me, I would like to wear more than my robe today." She then stepped over the trunk and retreated into her room. He stared blankly at the door for a moment before going into the guest bedroom to search for clothes.

As Remus was buttoning his trousers, doubt started to flood his mind. _Why does she need a trunk anyway? It's not like she's going anywhere._ Remus's thoughts stilled as he came to the conclusion that she was going somewhere and that somewhere was probably far away from him. _I mean, why would she stay? It's not like we've had sex, it's not like we are bound or anything. And why would she want to be bound to me? For heaven's sake, I was ready to…_He snorted in self-disgust as he remembered just what he was willing to do to Kate last night. He let out a defeated sigh and laid down on his guest bed, thinking for the first time in years that maybe it would have been better if the wolf had simply killed him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kate walked into Paige's room and locked the door behind her.

Paige was brushing out her hair. "Hey, Kate. Could you do my hair for me?"

"Sure.", Kate replied and pulled out her wand. She then proceeded to spell Paige's hair to cascade down her back in waves. "There, that should last five hours or so.", she said putting her wand away.

Paige looked in the mirror and grinned. "Thank you. Want me to do yours?"

Kate smiled and twirled one of her locks around her finger. "Sure, though I don't know if there is much you can do with it."

Paige humphed. "Shows how little faith you have in me." A moment later, Kate's hair was skimming her waist. "That's a good look for you, Luna. You should keep it."

"Thank you", she said blushing.

Paige began applying her make-up and got down to business. "So, Sirius told me Remus wasn't very experienced..."

Kate turned to face Paige, after hiding her longer hair in a snood. "Of course, he isn't.", she said with a chuckle.

"So he hasn't had any other mates? That's good, no heavy emotional baggage.", Paige responded thoughtfully.

Kate blushed. "I suppose."

"So how have things been going between you two? Judging by last night, I'd say rather well.", she said while curling her eyelashes.

"Alright, I guess. How are things with Sirius?", Kate asked trying to get Paige to change the subject.

"Surprisingly well, all things considered.", Paige said with a cocky smile.

Kate chuckled. "Sounds interesting."

"I'm a cat, cats are supposed to be graceful and posed. I wasn't either one last night.", she quipped, frustration coloring her voice.

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad.", Kate reassured her.

"Oh yes, it was. I headbutted him in the crotch and sneezed on his neck.", Paige growled.

Kate tried to hide her smile. "Hey, at least the paramedics weren't called out this time."

"Shut up.", Paige ordered and smacked the werewolf's arm.

Kate shrugged and began folding Paige's items for the trunk.

The door handle jiggled and Sirius called out. "Let me in, luv. I'm in my all together."

Paige opened the door and pouted. "Liar, you're wearing a towel." Sirius came into the room and noticed Kate covering her eyes.

"Well luv, everything considered I'm glad I'm wearing a towel." Sirius stated as he glanced at Kate.

Paige giggled. "Terrycloth turns you on?"

Sirius grinned. "Maybe, but at the moment I'd rather not flash Kate."

Kate blushed. "Thanks for the courtesy."

Sirius smirked at the werewolf. "So I take it Remus caught you up on some English phrases?" Kate blushed a deeper shade of red and nodded, causing Sirius to laugh. "I could flash you, if you'd like."

"Oh no, I'm fine really. I wouldn't want to disparage your virtue." Kate said with a small grin, her eyes still firmly shut.

Sirius pulled on a pair of trousers forgoing his underwear. "Come now, Katie. You know you peeked."

"I'm only interested in the virility of one male in this apartment, thank you.", she said calmly.

Paige smirked. "So Kate, just how big is Remus's virility?"

Kate quirked a smile. "Sirius, are you covered?"

"If I wasn't and told you I was, would you still look?", Sirius asked.

Kate gave a dramatic sigh. "Yes, but every time I'd see you afterwards I would point and laugh."

Paige burst into the conversation. "Yeah, at me."

"Why would I laugh at you? Grown something I should I know about?", she teased.

"No, but if his grows any more he could take over a small village.", Paige retorted.

Sirius shook his head at the girls' banter. "You can open your eyes, Kate."

Kate opened her eyes and Sirius struck a dashing pose. "Yes, I am the master of all hugeness."

Paige started to laugh uncontrollably.

Kate simply rolled her eyes and patted his shoulder. "Of course, you are dear."

Sirius puffed his chest out. "Really, I am. Women have swooned, men have cowered, and children have fainted. This one time, in seventh year…"

Kate quickly raised her hand to interrupt the animagus. "I believe you, really. I'm sure your hugeness is legendary."

"Please stop now, Sirius. I will fill her in on the all the little…I mean big details later on.", Paige gasped out.

"I'm sure it's bigger now that it's swollen. Of course, you do that to me sometimes.", he said looking at Paige.

"Alrighty then, I think I have enough information on this subject.", Kate firmly stated as she gathered the necessary items from Paige's room and headed into the hall.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus glanced up as Kate entered the guestroom and closed the door behind her. She was wearing a pair of soft cotton slacks and a t-shirt with her hair in a bundle at the back of her neck.

She walked over to the bed and sat next to him. "Are you alright?", she quietly asked, brushing her fingers over his arm.

"I'm fine.", he stated curtly, drawing his arm away. "Why aren't you wearing more clothing?"

Kate looked down at her outfit. "What?"

"You heard me, why aren't you wearing more clothes? You look like you are wearing pajamas.", he continued.

"Actually, it's my yoga outfit. I wear it for yoga and dance classes, we are going down to the park today.", she said patiently.

"You are going to be seen in public in that?", he asked incredulously.

"Yes, I'm perfectly covered and I will be back soon. Now, are you going to tell me what is bothering you?", she asked, desperately trying to keep her temper in check.

"Nothing is bothering me, with the possible exception that you are going out half-dressed to Gods know where.", he growled.

Kate leapt from the bed. "What in the name of Shiva has gotten into you? Did you wake up on the war path this morning or did I actually do something wrong?"

"Don't you dare push this off on me, I am just concerned that you find it necessary to go gallivanting about in parks, half-dressed in broad daylight.", he growled standing up.

"I hate to break this to you, Professor Lupin, but you don't own me. I'm not some lapdog that you can just dress up and order about. If you want to have a relationship with me, I would hope that you would trust me a little.", Kate countered.

"Kate, dearest…Oh love, I do trust you.", he acquiesced and ran his fingers down her cheek. "You just need to be here with me and not flaunting yourself for the world that's all.", he purred and moved to embrace her.

Kate stepped back and glared at him. "I am going to the park and I am wearing this. And I'm sorry if you don't like it, but it's comfortable and lets me move how I need to move."

"How do you need to move? Your other clothes let you move, why do you need clothes for other movements? What sort of movements do you plan on doing that you need special clothes for them?", Remus demanded.

"It's just going to the park, Remus. That's all, why are you doing this?", she pleaded.

"No, Kate. I think the question is why are you doing this? Do you want to find someone else? Do you want men ogling you?", he bellowed.

"They're yoga clothes, baggy yoga clothes at that. Men don't ogle me even in normal clothes, they aren't going to make a run at me in my workout togs.", she declared.

"Ha!", he shouted. "They don't ogle you. What do you call Lockhart then?"

"An idiot.", Kate snapped.

"Alright, he's a horrid example. But I've seen the way other men look at you. They look at you like you are some kind of treat and I will not allow you to be displayed in such an unseemly fashion.", Remus protested.

"I have to leave now. I will talk to you later, Remus.", she said before closing the door and heading outside with her trunk.

Moony smacked himself in the head. "Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why don't you just try chaining her to the bed, old boy?", he chastised himself before flopping back down on the bed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kate was already waiting outside the apartment when Paige finally cornered Jack.

"Now, you'll keep Sirius and Remus with you at all times today. Don't let them out of your sight. And absolutely under no circumstances hurt or provoke them. Have a good day and we'll see you when we get back.", she said and Jack nodded sedately. He watched her walk out the door and smiled evilly.

Jack headed towards the kitchen, where Remus and Sirius were eating breakfast. "Hey mates, how goes it?", he asked cheerfully. Sirius glared at Jack.

Remus thoughtfully chewed his toast. "Why did Kate take a trunk out with her this morning?"

Jack crossed the kitchen and pulled the bowl of grilled meat out of the refrigerator. "She's leaving on a jet plane, I don't know when she'll be back again." He took a big bite of meat and continued with his mouthful. "Yep, she's leaving, and going far, far away. She might not ever return.", he said smiling at the werewolf.

Sirius shot Jack a death glare. "Quiet, you worthless excuse for a friend."

Jack sobered. "I was just playing with him. She went out to the park with Paige. Happy now, she's not leaving you.", he said before taking another bite of meat.

Remus put his toast down and stood up. "Why does she need a suitcase at the park?"

"Taking her clothes out for a walk, I guess." Jack said. Remus rounded on Jack, and pinned his arms behind him.

"Those were Paige's things, Kate just let her borrow her trunk.", Sirius lied.

"Why would Paige need a suitcase?", Remus asked as he released Jack.

"Because we had a fight and she was going to stay at her parents.", Sirius said thinking quick on his feet.

Remus stalked out of the room. He re-entered the kitchen a few moments later. "Sirius, why would Paige need Kate's clothes, if she was going to her parents?"

"Because their washing machine is better.", Sirius said as he fumbled for a reason.

"Padfoot.", Remus admonished.

"No really, I broke it last night when I washed some dishes.", he said trying to convince his friend. "Who knew that it was only for clothes?"

"Padfoot. I won't get angry with you friend. I know the washing machine is fine. Just tell me what's going on.", he said kindly.

Jack laughed darkly. "If you come with me, mate, I'll do you one better. I will show you what you're little Katie is doing.", he announced as he left the kitchen. The pirate smiled to himself. _Paige, never said anything about Kate provoking him, _he thought smugly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After the nightmare of parking and getting tickets, the unlikely trio entered the Las Vegas Age of Chivalry Renaissance Festival. Jack led the way to a small festival stage that was surrounded by bales of hay. Jack motioned for Sirius and Remus to sit, joining them after speaking briefly with another man dressed as a pirate.

After a few minutes, the bales of hay began to fill with people. When every seat in the house had been taken and a line of people stood at the edges of clearing, Kate appeared onstage and was greeted with a warm round of applause.

**A/N: Hahaha…evil cliff hanger. What is going on, you ask? Will Remus go mental? What are Kate and Paige doing? What kind of meat is Jack eating? The answer to some of these and other strange questions will be found in the next installment of Las Vegas is a Scary Place. **

**As always thank you for reading our little story, we appreciate that you take time out of your lives to do so. And a very special thank you to our most lovely reviewers. **

**Jen: Thank you for the review and thank you for catching our mistake. Peter is hiding out in Japina …I mean Chipan. No actually Peter is hiding out in Japan, posing as a photographer, which was amusing to us because Timothy Spall played Peter in the PoA movie and a photographer in Last Samurai. Unfortunately, we seemed to have lost the joke in the transposition. **

**MissMoony16: Well, thank for the support on my choice of major. I am a big sociology geek, as reinforced by being enrolled in a Sociology M.A. program. But do your Spanish it will come in handy in the future. As far as Harry goes, Dumbledore in his infinite control freak Gryffindor with a Slytherin rising ways has yet to inform Harry that Sirius isn't really dead. Harry is back in school and the current date for our story is October 27, 1996. Our heroes have only been in Vegas for 6 days or 18 chapters and just to make things interesting full moon hits on October 28th. **

**Katarina McGonagall: Thank for your lovely review as always. We aren't going to come out and say what Jack is eating, however, we have dropped a few hints and we will drop a few more before the truth is revealed fully; feel free to make guesses. As far as abbreviated knickers go, I found the term in a story a few months back and fell in love with it. I've seen it used in a few stories since then but I will try to find the original source, I really wish it was me because it is a great line. As far as Montgomery Manor goes, I have no idea what lies in store for that plot point because that is Hornhead's creation. **

**And that's all we wrote for today anyway. Thank you. **

**FYI: We have the next chapter already written, but we are feeling very lazy at the moment so reviews might persuade us to do the ever so hard job of pushing the upload document button. –Prof. Pendragon**


	19. Sirius and the Peanut Butter

**Disclaimer: We are working tirelessly to free Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, but as far was we know they are still enslaved by J.K. Rowling and Time Warner. **

**Warnings: Wigged out werewolves, scantily clad women, and veiled references to really (coughs) different fanfics. **

**A/N: The entirety of this chapter takes place at the Age of Chivalry, a Renaissance Faire that has been hosted in Las Vegas since 1993. We have taken a bit of artistic license and set the faire a lot later in October than when it's usually held. **

Chapter 19: Wolves two for a penny…

Remus growled and clenched his fists as he gazed up at Kate on stage. _She was gorgeous, absolutely ravishing and had no business looking like that in public_, he thought angrily. He was desperately wishing she was still wearing the outfit she had on this morning. _For Gods sake, yoga pants and a t-shirt were downright conservative compared to what she was wearing now. It hugs every curve_. _And her hair it's so long, it's quite nice really. I would love to just…It is totally inappropriate for this venue. Not to mention, she's wearing make-up like some common tart... though it is quite flattering and it does bring out a wild quality about her eyes. By Gods, she looks like bleeding Salome. Why doesn't she just come out starkers with a sign saying 'free to a good harem'? _

Jack bit back a laugh at the look of horror on Remus's face. Kate wasn't showing much really, in fact, he'd seen nuns in fewer layers. Looking around the audience at women clad in everything from full Elizabethan Court dress to Xena costumes, she seemed to be quite conservative and ladylike. No cleavage showing, no leg showing, just the silhouette of her form clad in layers of silk, velvet and brocade, which was enough to send the prudish professor over the edge.

Kate turned to the audience and smiled. She was wearing a very conservative tribal belly dance costume with a full red velvet Ghawazee coat with a high line collar, black harem pants, and layered red skirts.

"Good morning, it is wonderful to see you all here at the third Renaissance Festival to be held in the Vegas valley.", she announced to the spectators, who had come to the festival to take part in a historical and mythical recreation gone mad. The crowd of wizards and muggles erupted into cheers. She lifted her arms to silence the crowd and continued. "My name is Durga, I'm the belly dance instructor for the Isis-Kali studio in Indian Springs." There was a scattering of applause in the audience. "We will be bringing you three routines today, two troupe pieces and a solo so I hope you enjoy what we have to offer this afternoon." Kate looked offstage for a moment and thirteen women in similar costumes filed on to the stage to the sound of catcalls and wolf whistles from the audience.

Kate signaled the musicians to start the music and the troupe began a simple Greek wedding dance to the song "Nina Ni Nigh" The group moved in fluid, graceful movements through the dance and as it ended the ensemble bowed in unison. After waiting for applause, eight of the dances exited off the stage.

The remaining dancers removed their Ghawazee coats to reveal choli tops, backless midriff blouses that are cut low in the front. Remus shifted uncomfortably in his seat, confronted with the sight of Kate's exposed cleavage, back and midriff in front of a crowd of forty people. He growled the word "mine" as a muggle man walked close to the stage and snapped Kate's picture.

Sirius on the other hand was quite pleased at the display of feminine wiles, and scanned the group for familiar faces. He pointed to a dancer next to Kate. "Hey! Paige is up there.", he said with a bright smile, which quickly faded as he noticed the death glares Remus was sending some bloke clad in poorly recreated robes in the front row.

Remus and Sirius watched as the group donned zills and the music started. The song was a flirty call and response piece with a bouncy rhythm. The dancers teased the audience with their skirts and placed a high emphasis on hip movements and shoulder shimmies. Remus dug his nails into the palm of his hand and let out a pained whimpered, causing Jack to smile.

Sirius smiled as well but for different reasons. His gaze was focused on Paige. _I've got to get a private show sometime, _thought as Paige undulated in time with the music.

The music stopped and the troupe exited the stage with a graceful bow. Paige whispered something to Kate and took the stage again, raising her hands to get the audience's attention. "So did you guys like that?", she asked the crowd, who answered with ziggreets, applause, huzzahs and catcalls. Paige laughed at their reaction. "Good to hear. To be perfectly honest, I'm just up her stalling until our final act finishes her costume change. But if you would like information about classes or Middle Eastern dance feel free to ask any of our troupe after the show." Paige looked off stage and saw the signal that Kate was ready. "So with no further ado, Durga!!"

A figure fully wrapped in a black silk veil stepped through the crowd onto the stage as the opening of "Ojos Asi" started. As the introduction ended, the veil dropped revealing Kate in a red choli vest that was pulled around a black and gold coin bra, red and black harem pants and a tribal skirt with a matching coin belt. She began dancing to the fast rhythm twisting and turning her body and veil with the music. Remus's eyes narrowed and he bared his teeth in a feral snarl.

Sirius tugged on his sleeve getting his attention and shook his head. The music sped up again and Kate dropped her veil offstage focusing on intricate locks and shimmies. Remus's mouth dropped open and snapped shut. He moved to stand up but he was pushed back down by Jack and Sirius, who held him there.

As music neared its climax and Kate entered a spin sending her skirts up and revealing the long slit in her semi-transparent harem pants. Remus whimpered and struggled against the two men. When the music hit its climax, Kate performed a perfect Turkish drop causing her to lay on the stage in a position similar to a backbend with her head facing the audience, her shoulders flat on the stage and her hips slightly elevated . Remus started violently struggling against Sirius and Jack. He growled "mine" over and over again, slowing getting louder.

In three deft movements, Kate was on her feet again. She gave a quick spin and hurried offstage to change. Paige thanked the crowd as Jack and Sirius dragged Remus through the teaming mass of people.

Sirius patted Remus's back. "Calm down, it wasn't anything…"

Remus interrupted "Wasn't anything?! Wasn't anything?! That was definitely something!", he bellowed, drawing the crowd's attention. "That was indecent and should not be viewed in a public arena where children are present."

Jack shrugged and mumbled something, sending a wave a disinterest through the masses. "Well mate, I guess you know why she didn't want you around." Remus growled and tried to break away from the pair. Jack took a bite of an apple and continued baiting the werewolf. "She does this for herself, some spiritual…feminist…empowerment nonsense about tapping into her divine sexual power. She doesn't do it to come on to any guys." Jack paused thoughtfully as he saw Remus relax a little. "But from the looks they give her you wouldn't think that. You're lucky though, she only performs once or twice a year. You got to experience a rare treat, just think you might not have even been the privilege of seeing her in all her lusciousness."

Sirius glared at Jack. "What in the bloody hell made you think that it was a good idea to bring a werewolf to see his potential mate dance in front of other potential suitors?"

Jack smirked at the animagus. "I never said it was."

"Remus, we should go.", Sirius said running his hand through his hair.

"No, I'm not leaving her.", Moony growled.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Alright Moony, we will follow them around for a while to keep her safe.

"Fine.", Moony spat and quickened his stride to follow the girls.

Jack tugged at Remus's sleeve. "Slow up. She can't see us here. Savy?" Moony glowered at Jack but slowed his pace. They ducked behind some trees as the girls left the pavilion and headed towards the vendors.

Jack pointed to Kate. "See, she's dressed.", he said with a wink and moved to follow the girls at a safe distance.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kate had changed back into her first costume and had wrapped a red and gold silk veil around herself. Paige was still in her second costume and was leading her like an excited child dragging a parent through a toy store. Kate on the other hand looked miserable.

Paige glanced at her friend. "What's wrong? You were wonderful."

Kate looked quite downtrodden and moved to cover herself more fully with her veil. "I should have told him."

Paige rolled her eyes. "No, you shouldn't have. You did the right thing, you heard him this morning. He was upset over yoga clothes, he would have had a coronary if he saw you in your solo costume."

"It doesn't matter, I still lied to him.", Kate whispered.

Paige stopped walking and turned to face her friend. "You did not lie. You are at the park and you met up with your dance class. What Remus doesn't know won't hurt you. And you need to learn how to play hard to get, you are making this too easy for him.", she said with a sly grin.

"No Paige, I lied to him and to make it worse the only thing I could think of during the entire performance was him. How much I want to tell him everything about myself, how I want to know everything about him, and especially, how much I want to tell him about my dancing.", Kate growled.

Paige wrapped her arm around her friend. "You can tell him about everything and more, after full moon…Katie, you have to trust me on this one. The book specifically states that male werewolves become violent towards the end of the courtship process when they feel their mates are in danger of choosing another partner. If he knew about this you wouldn't have been able to perform, the dance school would have lost money and would have gone back on the scholarships for our kids next year. You did the right thing, now enjoy yourself." Paige let go of Kate and walked over to a booth full of coin belts and jewelry.

Kate sighed and reluctantly followed her friend. "This was such a bad idea.", she muttered to herself.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After walking the Faire for about an hour, the girls decided to head to a friends booth with a conveniently located tent in the back to relax. On the way, a man with long curly brown hair came up to Paige and lifted her into a bear hug. Paige laughed and hugged him back. "Jacob! How's the porn shop?", she chirped.

He laughed and ruffled Paige's hair. "Oh, I quit that a while ago."

She smiled as he set her down and gave him a gentle shove in the direction they were heading. "Come with me, I haven't talked to you in a while." He nodded and fell into step with Kate. Paige stopped and turned to Kate and Jacob. "Oh, I almost forgot! Jacob this is Kate. Kate this is Jacob.", she said and ran over to a booth full of weaponry. Kate gave a small wave 'hello' to Jacob and followed Paige.

Paige and Jacob chatted as they walked through the rows of vendors on the way to Oak's large army tent, which was covered in brightly colored sarongs and feature a doorplate that proclaimed '_better to be hunted as a wolf than to be a sheep led blindly to the slaughter_'. On the other side of the tent flap were patches with symbols designating it an area friendly to werewolves, witches, wizards, magical creatures, and those baring gifts of beer.

A tiny woman in brightly colored skirts and a choli leapt out of the tent and proclaimed "Kate Der!" She then proceeded to twirl Kate around, which was quite a sight considering she was only four and half feet tall and Kate was close to six feet.

When they stopped spinning, Kate bent down and lifted the girl into a hug. "Hi, Raven.", she said quietly.

"Now, no more of that, Ren Faire comes but once a year to the valley and you are going to enjoy it. Or do I have to get my drilling equipment?", the tiny woman playfully chastised and they both burst into giggles. Paige sidestepped them and plopped herself down in the tent on one of the various piles of pillows on the floor.

Kate and Raven went into the tent giggling and settled on some pillows occasionally saying silly things like "Would you like a cup of coffee?", "Sometimes when I have sex I pretend I'm a greyhound." and "Running, jumping, climbing trees, putting on make up when you're up there."

Paige glanced at them and exclaimed. "I'd go up there and those squirrels would be covered in make-up!" Kate and Raven laughed even harder and began to tickle each other. Paige sighed, "Silly werewolves."

Suddenly a boy with black hair and glasses fell into the tent and yelled "Rabid Gofer!!" He then began to gnaw on the girls' feet.

After lounging in the tent for twenty minutes, Kate decided she needed to move a little. She walked outside the tent and stretched in the noonday sun. Unbeknownst to her, she was being stalked by two werewolves.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus stood at a nearby booth and watched her every move. He had tried to escape the watchful gazes of Sirius and Jack twice already, but without much success. To make matters worse, his ongoing mental debate had escalated. His higher self just wanted to go back to the apartment and have Kate explain later. His adult self wanted to join Kate, and tell her how lovely she looked today. Moony just wanted to keep her in range to make sure she was safe, and give other perspective suitors the idea that he had already staked his claim. And younger Remus was being his 15 year old git-self at the moment. He wanted nothing more than to grab Kate and drag her forcibly back to the apartment. It was about the time he was arguing with adult Remus about taking up Moony's earlier sarcastic suggestion of chaining Kate to the bed that his train of was derailed. In a flurry of movement, a very large man in a broomstick skirt had scooped up Kate.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Oak had snuck behind Kate and easily swung her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. "Pillage, plunder and rape! Pillage, plunder, and rape! Nice, ripe, sweet wolves two for a penny."

Kate just laid there unwilling to hurt the almost seven foot tall man. "Good afternoon, Oak.", she said in a bored tone.

Paige ran out of the tent. "Oak! You put my roommate down!", she chastised.

Oak smiled down at her. "My Kate Der.", he said lovingly and patted Kate's head. "Pretty Der, I will love you and pet and keep you for always."

Paige gave Oak a stern look. "Oak, put her down."

Oak shook his head. "Nope, my Kate Der. I plundered her fair and square."

Paige smiled. "I'll take you to Denny's."

Oak look scandalized. "Paige, I'm surprised at you; trying to buy your friend with French toast."

Raven burst forth from the tent and began smacking him repeatedly in the chest. "Oak," she growled.

He looked down at her and politely enquired "Yes, dearest?"

"What are you doing?", she huffed. "Are you trying to get up in my Kool-Aid?"

"Ummm…maybe later.", he replied and called out to the crowd. "Wolves for sale two for a penny. Nice luscious wolves, the finest the valley has to offer"

Raven kicked him. "Put Kate Der down."

Oak sighed. "Alright, but can I watch?", he pleaded as he set Kate down.

Kate playfully shoved Raven. "Really, now?"

Raven laughed and pulled away Kate's veil. "Really.", she said and moved so she was eye level with Kate's breasts. "Hey baby, what's your names?", she asked in a psuedo sleazy voice as she stared at Kate's chest. Kate just laughed and went back into the tent, replacing her veil. Raven turned to Oak. "Guess not.", she said and smacked him on the ass before turning to follow Kate.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jack slowly got off the ground and raised his hand to his broken lip. Sirius stood with his wand pointed at Remus, who was in a full body bind and doing everything in his power to fight it.

"Calm down, mate.", Jack started. "The big one and the little one are werewolves and married to each other. They are just fooling around, Katie does it all the time. It's a form of teasing."

Moony nodded and Sirius released his friend. He took a deep breath. _She's safe with her pack, _he thought trying to find comfort. Moony paused for a momentto contain the younger Remus, who was becoming more and more of a problem.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paige looked out at the crowd before going back into the tent. "Pop!", she shrieked and ran to an enormous man and hugged him, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

The man smiled down at her. "Hello Paige! How are you?"

Paige grinned. "I'm doing well, and you?"

He stroked his graying beard. "I'm good. Just here with Ruby. We saw your performance."

A blonde woman walked up and gave Paige a hug. "Hi Mom! So, what did you two think?", she asked the older woman.

The man looked down at the two women and gave Paige a lecherous grin. "I liked it a lot. Why do you think I came to find you? Ruby and I want a private show."

Ruby smiled and smacked him on the arm. "We did not, Gregor behave yourself. Actually, we wanted to finally meet Durga."

Paige pouted. "Oh, I see how it is! Just using me to get to my roommate. Well, that is going to cost you lunch!"

Ruby smiled. "Ok, we planned on doing that anyway."

Gregor, Ruby, and Paige went back inside the tent to find Kate sprawled across some pillows on the floor talking with Oak and Raven.

Paige lightly kicked Kate's leg. "Sorry to interrupt, but I have a couple of people here that want to meet the almighty Durga."

Kate yawned and nuzzled further into the pillows, while Raven stroked her hair. "Tell them the Hindu temple is open seven days a week from eight to seven.", Kate mumbled.

Paige rolled her eyes. "They really want to meet you and they offered to buy us lunch, so come on."

Kate stretched and then stood up. "You aren't going to let me politely decline again are you?" Paige shook her head. "Alright then, let's go.", Kate said with a sigh.

Raven grabbed Kate's hand. "No, My Kate Der, my precious, my own.", she playfully pleaded. Kate gave the woman a hug and pulled away so she could head for the door.

Paige grinned as Kate walked by her and turned to Raven. "I think you might have some competition for her ownership, Remus seems very attached." Paige then walked out of the tent before Raven could respond.

Kate paused at the exit. "I shall return.", she stated melodramatically with a flourish as gave one last look into the tent, causing Oak and Raven to burst into laughter.

Paige pulled Kate out of the tent and dragged her over to meet Gregor and Ruby. "Kate this is Gregor and Ruby. Mom, Dad, this is Durga."

Kate extended her hand in greeting. "It's a pleasure to meet the both of you."

Gregor shook her hand and Ruby beamed at the werewolf. "We've heard a lot about you, it's nice to put a face with the name.", she said enthusiastically.

Kate grinned back. "It's wonderful to finally meet you as well."

Gregor then put an arm around Paige and hugged her to his side. "So, what do you want to eat?"

Paige shrugged. "Eh, bread bowls sound good. I'm glad I saw you two, I've got something to talk to you about."

Ruby opened her mouth to say something when the group was distracted by the sound of breaking glass at a nearby booth. She glanced over and continued talking. "Right, when don't you have something to talk about?" Paige laughed and Ruby motioned to a picnic table. "Greg and Kate can go save us a spot while we go get food and talk, sound good?"

Paige waved to Kate and left with Ruby, leaving Kate and Gregor together.

Gregor sat at a table and looked up expectantly at Kate. "You did a great job, I don't think I've seen a Turkish drop like that in years."

Kate blushed and mumbled a thank you.

Gregor motioned for her to sit. "So, how long have you been belly dancing?"

Kate nervously sat down and glanced at Paige, who was busy chatting with Ruby. "Nine years.", she quietly replied.

Gregor smiled. "Really? How did you get started in it?"

Kate shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "I tutored a witch in potions and she gave me belly dance lessons in return.", she replied and then cleared her throat. "How long have you been a squire?"

Gregor laughed. "You have a keen eye. About two years now to Sir Dougal."

Kate nodded. "So, how is that working for you?", she awkwardly asked.

He stifled a laugh and Kate smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, I'm not exactly SCA literate."

"That's ok, Paige has been in for eight years and she's still learning new things.", he replied. Kate nodded and the pair sat in comfortable silence until Paige and Ruby returned with the bread bowls.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Over the course of the past hour, all the voices in Remus's head had come to the consensus that he was right and she was wrong, and they weren't going to stand by and let her out of their sight until after full moon. Remus was angry, actually, angry wasn't quite the word for it. Sirius summed it up as a rage filled psychotic tempest just looking for a village to desolate and Remus was well on his way of doing just that. In the course of the past two hours, calm, controlled Remus Lupin had broken an entire table full of glass, bent three swords, smashed two wooden shields, and terrified a group of school children. This wouldn't have been so bad if you didn't take into account the numerous fights he had been in with everything from teenage boys to a very confused half-giant, who had all made the mistake of admiring his Kate.

On the other hand, Sirius was having a great time looking at everything. The faire was a blend of muggle and wizarding cultures with booths selling everything from robes and crystal balls to utilakilts and Chinese food. He was trying to find a present for Paige but didn't know what she would like. So his only problem seemed to be trying to figure out what to get her, while keeping Remus from rampaging. He looked over at Moony and shook his head sympathetically. Remus was currently glaring a very small and timid man with such vehemence that the man would probably wet himself if he was ever perceptive enough to notice.

Sirius glanced over at the girls long enough to see a tall boy with jet black hair run up behind Paige. She didn't notice him right away so he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off the ground, simultaneously cupping her breasts. Sirius froze waiting for her retaliation but was sorely disappointed when all she did was laugh at the strange man.

Sirius turned to Jack. "Why isn't she killing him?"

Jack , who was dancing along with a belly dance troupe, looked over to where Sirius was pointing. "Oh, that's just Justin."

"Why can he have his hands on her breasts and I can't?", Sirius asked indignantly.

" Cos he's Justin, mate. They've been friends for six years.", Jack answered, while attempting a hip circle.

"Have they dated?", he asked, keeping a wary eye on Remus.

Jack sighed dramatically. "It's Ren Faire, Orion. Throw a rock and you'll probably hit someone Paige has dated.", he replied acidly. "Uh-oh.", Jack said under his breath as he watched Paige.

Sirius looked concerned. "What's wrong?"

"Just a bit of trouble headed Paige's way.", he responded casually. "Not to worry, she's surrounded by friends."

As if on cue, a gorgeous man pulled Paige to a quiet spot. Sirius noted Paige looked highly annoyed. "Who's that?", he demanded.

Jack glared at the animagus and then at the man standing next to Paige. "Erik the schmucking.", he responded.

Sirius tensed. "The ex-fiancé Erik?", he asked as he saw Erik put his hand on Paige's arm and her slap it away.

He nodded. "The same." Jack was going to continued but was distracted as Paige began yelling something unintelligible at Erik.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Does she need help?"

Jack let out a deep laugh. "No, but he might need a mediwitch, when this is all over." He pointed out four large men, who were closing in on the pair.

"Just so long as she's safe." Sirius anxiously stated. He clinched his fists when Erik took a few steps toward Paige. "Could I get closer without her noticing?", Sirius asked to no one in particular.

Jack inclined his head towards Remus. "She's so far gone, she wouldn't notice him at this point." Sirius gave the pirate a cynical look, but decided to take a closer look anyway. He crept close enough to the couple to hear what they were saying to each other.

Paige rounded on Erik. "You fucking arrogant sexist pig! I already have a boyfriend, one who treats me like a human being. Why the fuck, would I want you?!", she bellowed.

Erik smirked. "Just tell me this Paige, what does he have that I don't?"

Paige crossed her arms under her chest. "A huge fucking dick that isn't attached to his neck."

"You never complained about mine before.", he said sounding almost bored.

Paige snorted. "I would have if you would have listened. If a girl says it's just the right size, it really means that she can't decide if you've got a micro-penis or an overly endowed clit down there."

"You're just trying to justify being with him. I know you want me.", he grabbed her face and pulled her into a rough kiss.

Paige broke free and slammed the heel of her hand into his solar plexus causing him to drop to his knees gasping for air. She pulled her wand and jerked his head back by his hair. "I will only tell you this once. If you ever come near me again, I will personally see to it that you are castrated."

Sirius stepped in line with the four other men, who had formed a circle around Paige and Erik. Kate was watching the whole affair from a close distance and noticed him join them. He was staring at the pair with grim determination.

Paige threw Erik forcibly to the ground and looked around, finally noticing the circle of men around her. "Come to protect me?", she asked.

They all nodded and Gregor stepped forward. "Let's get you back over to Kate.", he said kindly. Paige glanced down at Erik and Gregor grinned. "Oh don't worry about him. We're going to have a little chat and then he can go back to being a spoiled little asshole." Paige happily nodded and stood beside Kate as three of the men forcibly dragged Erik out of the park.

Jack glanced at Kate and noticed her line of sight was focused on Sirius. He dragged Remus behind a cluster of trees. "Remus listen... Something has come up and my services are needed….elsewhere. Keep watching Kate but remember to not let her or Paige see you. Good luck, mate.", the pirate said with a forced grin before he took off in a dead run out sight.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kate was still staring at Sirius as Paige and Gregor discussed Erik. Paige laughed, "Yes, that was fun but he should never do that again." She noticed Kate wasn't paying any attention to her. "Kate, earth to Kate. What's wrong?"

The werewolf held her gaze. "Why is Sirius here?"

Paige startled and looked around. "He is? Where?" Her reaction was enough for Kate to loose Sirius in the crowd for a moment.

He quietly snuck up on Paige and tapped her on the shoulder. "Right here, luv."

Paige whirled around and hugged him. "Hi! What are you doing her?", she then gasped. "Where's Jack and Remus?"

"Why would Jack and Remus be here?", Sirius asked nervously.

"Because he was supposed to stay with both of you today. How did you find out about this?', she asked a little bit shaky.

"Calm down, luv. Jack said you were at the park and I thought I would come down and surprise you, but you sure surprised me.", he said with his most charming smile.

"Ah…well…why don't you come back with us to Oak's tent and sit for a while.", she offered. Sirius couldn't really see any way out of it so he nodded and accompanied them.

When they got back to the tent, several people had gathered and were having a lively discussion on various erotic stories they had read in the past year. Sirius took a seat on a large pillow and was pleasantly surprised when Paige sat on his lap, leaning back on him.

Oak piped up. "Alright, ladies and jelly spoons, you know the game. The worst one wins, so I challenge you to beat this one. A gentle and delicate love story of a pureblood orphan, his archenemy, and his pet toad."

Paige grimaced. "Ew! Who thinks of this stuff anyway? Well, I read one about two men and a teddy bear but that really doesn't compete."

Anthony stood with a flourish. "I'll see your teddy bear and your toad and raise you a male werewolf and a first edition copy of Dorian Grey."

Raven giggled. "How exactly does that work?"

Paige laughed. "Let's just hope he doesn't get a paper cut." She sat up for a moment, remembering a good one. "Picture this one. A boy, waiting on the edge of this bed for his lover. The lover enters the room and it's the same boy with a time turner and a bottle of KY."

Kate cleared her throat. "I'll see your time-turner, book, teddy bear and toad and raise you a half-giant and a hippogriff."

Raven cackled. "That is an awfully big order, turning into a bit of a size queen Kate." Kate blushed furiously and the room broke into laughter. "But seriously, I take that challenge and raise you a male and female house elf and a geriatric wizard."

Paige gave her an odd look. "What the hell kind of stories do you read?"

Leah laughed. "Well, I'll see your …well, everything and raise you a sixteen year old boy and a tea service."

Raven jumped up. "I've got you all beat. I raise you all, on black king snake and a sixteen year old girl."

Sirius piped up. "Well, I know a true story to beat all of you. An animagus rat climbs up inside a teenage virgin girl and makes her orgasm."

Paige jerked away from him, a horrified expression on her face. "This isn't fiction?! That's disgusting!"

Oak lifted his hands. "You win, game over. I don't want to hear the one that tops that one."

Sirius grinned. "Well, Paige can attest that I turn into a dog so you know it wasn't me."

Anthony grinned. "A dog, really? Do you have a fondness for peanut butter?"

Sirius didn't know what the two had in common but answered anyway. "It's not bad, Paige and I had some my first day her." Everyone started laughing and Paige's eyes went wide.

"Wow, Sirius, you Brits really have a knack for misunderstandings, don't you?"

Sirius frowned. "What didn't I understand?"

Paige reddened a little bit. "Um…I will tell you later."

Kate took that as her cue and left the tent. She stretched in the sunshine and was tackled by a little girl of 5 or 6 with light brown curls. "Miss Kathleen!", the little girl squealed.

Kate looked down at the child hugging her knees. "Zoe, what are you doing here? Where is your Dad?"

Zoe chewed on her fingers for a moment in thought. "He's talking to Oak. I was sent outside because it was in proper for me to hear things." She tugged on Kate's skirt. "You smell sad. Why are you sad?" Kate picked up the little girl and headed for a stand of trees a hundred feet from the tent.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus watched as Kate carried a little girl towards the trees he was hiding amongst. She sat in front of the largest tree and faced the tent she had just emerged from. He was close enough to hear them chatting, and paused to listen.

Zoe settled onto Kate as the witch wrapped them both in her veil. "There all cozy, little one."

"Miss Kathleen, why are you sad?", Zoe asked snuggling closer.

"I miss someone I care for very much.", she said with a forced smile.

"Then why don't you see them?", Zoe asked logically.

"Well, it's not that easy. I messed up and didn't tell him about Ren Faire so I had to go without him.", she quietly answered smoothing the girl's wild curls.

"Next time ask him!", Zoe commanded causing Kate to laugh.

"I will little one, I will.", she replied and kissed the top of Zoe's head.

"Miss Kathleen, can I call you Katie like Paige does sometimes?", Zoe asked.

"Yes", Kate responded.

"Katie, do you love him?", she asked with wide eyes.

"Yes, Zoe. I love him very much.", Kate replied and watched as Zoe broke into giggles.

Remus swallowed hard and stared at the pair under the tree. _She loves me, _he thought amazed at the fact. He was taken from his revelry by the sight of Kate tickling Zoe.

"You are such a little monkey. You know that?", Kate playfully admonished.

"I'm not a monkey, I'm a wolf.", Zoe crowed in between giggles. Kate stopped tickling her and Zoe grasped Kate in a tight hug. The older werewolf hummed as the little girl snuggled back into her arms and slowly fell asleep.

Remus looked on at the scene with something akin to awe. _Kate is a natural mother. She is going to be a wonderful mother to our children, _he thought, watching Kate affectionately care for the little one on her lap. He was filled with hope as he thought on the idea of being the one to father Kate's children. Remus startled though as a tall man with a shaved head stood next to Kate.

"She's sleeping, Ashley. I'll take her up to the tent in a few minutes.", Kate whispered.

"I actually wanted to talk to you. You're really good with her you know.", Ashley said with an adoring smile aimed at his daughter.

"Well, she's a wonderful child. She'll make this world a much better place than we've ever known.", she said lovingly kissing the top of Zoe's head.

"Kate, I know you said you weren't looking but I think you would be good for Zoe to have around. After Melanie died, I didn't think she'd pull through but look at her. That is all thanks to you Kate.", Ashley said reverently.

"Ash, you already know my answer. We have been over this before.", Kate said in hushed tones careful not to wake Zoe.

Ashley frowned at her. "Listen, it's not like it would be that bad being married to me. Ok, so we don't love each other now and I can't give you any children. We could adopt and I would give you Zoe. We could learn to love each other Kate. ", he said raising his voice.

Zoe stirred and Kate held her close. "Pumpkin, it's time to wake up. We need to go back to the tent.", she whispered in the little girl's ear.

Zoe woke up and smiled at her father. "Daddy! Miss Kathleen says I can call her Katie now. And she also said that she's in love with a boy.", she was careful to say the last part in a whisper to convey that it was secret.

"Really? I see that congratulations are in order Kate. Who is the lucky fellow?", Ashley asked in clipped tones.

"Zoe, go get Paige or Oak for me.", she said to the little girl and pushed in the direction of the tent. Kate stood up and waited for her to be out of earshot.

"Ashley, I don't love you. You know that and I know you don't love me. Zoe has an entire pack to take care of her, she'll be fine.", Kate said.

"Zoe needs a mother, Kate. I need a wife, I know you don't think so but you are a very beautiful woman. I want to make an honest woman of you Kate, I'm human I can legally marry you. I want to marry you. We're not getting any younger …", Ashley started.

"Ash, don't. It is not meant to be, I'm in love with someone else.", she said softly.

"Who, Kate? Who is this boy you're in love with? What can he give to you?", he bellowed and took a step towards her. "Can he give you this?" Ashley pushed Kate against the tree and kissed her. She responded with a quick knee to his groin. Kate pulled back to punch Ashley in the chest but notice that he was facing away from her and floating a few feet above the ground.

Remus threw Ashley down on the ground and kicked him in the stomach. "Don't you ever try to force your intentions on her again. She said no, you miserable git." He then turned to a very confused Kate and grabbed her by the wrist. "Come along.", he ordered and began to drag her away from the trees.

About this time, Oak, Paige, and Sirius were walking out of the tent. Oak rushed up to the pair. "What's going on here?", he demanded.

Remus pushed past him dragging Kate. "She has gotten into enough trouble for one day, and I am taking her home." He stopped behind some tents and turned to Sirius. "I will see you at the apartment.", he said curtly and apparated Kate and himself home.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paige and Sirius watched Remus drag Kate off with worried faces. "Do you suppose they're ok?", Paige asked Sirius pensively.

Sirius furrowed his brow and nodded. "Remus is angry, but he's a gentle person. He won't hurt her."

Paige nodded and turned to Oak. "Well, I guess we'll go exploring now."

Oak grinned. "Yeah, I don't want to hear any true stories about what Sirius does in his spare time.

Paige burst into giggles and nodded. "Yeah, for all we know, he's a polyanimagus who really can turn into a rat." A warning look from Sirius brought Paige's laughter to a halt as she realized whom he was talking about. "Uh, but I'm sure he's not. Sirius is too noble to ever turn into anything less than a dog."

Oak cocked an eyebrow at her and shook his head, not understanding what went on between them. "Are you alright, Paige? I don't think I've ever seen you backpedal so quickly before. Unlike you, to say the least."

Sirius gave him a wane smile and shook his head. "She just hit a sore spot for me, that's all." Oak nodded and Sirius clapped his hands together once. "So, what are you taking me to see?"

Paige shrugged and pointed to a clothing vendor. "How about getting you a new set of clothes?"

Oak interrupted, "So, you're not a muggle, then?"

Sirius glanced over to where Paige was pointing and gave an appreciative nod. "Sure, luv, sounds great. I need some new wizarding clothes." To Oak he added, "I'm a wizard. How else would I be able to be an animagus?"

"Oh yeah. Forgot about that. However, that means Paige needs to tell you why the peanut butter is so funny." Oak replied.

Paige shot him a glare and turned to Sirius. "There's a muggle urban legend about desperate girls smearing peanut butter on, ah, themselves and getting a dog to lick it off. Apparently, it takes the dog such a long time to finish that they can orgasm during this time."

Sirius stared at her blankly for a minute before bursting into a great barking laugh that made people stop and stare at him for a moment before continuing on. "Oh luv, that's a great one. I fell right into that joke, didn't I?"

Paige's face burned a bit as she nodded. "Yes, Sirius, you did. Now, the next time one of my friends asks you if you like peanut butter, please don't answer at all.", she asked. "Let's get going, okay?"

Oak grinned at them and waved as they left. Paige nodded a greeting to the vendor and Sirius started looking at the clothes. He pulled out a white linen poet's shirt. "How about this one?"

Paige smiled at him. "Uh huh. Go try it on and I will get you more clothes, ok?"

Sirius picked a pair of brown trousers out as well and disappeared behind a curtain while Paige continued trough the racks. Pulling out several more and a pair of boots, she smiled at the tiny woman selling everything and joined Sirius in the changing booth.

He was currently in nothing but his underwear, which made Paige snigger, as he was bent over trying to pull the trousers on. He stood up and turned around indignantly and put his hands on his hips. "Hey! Are you supposed to be in here?"

Paige laid the clothes on the chair provided and shrugged. "I'm here to help you choose. Now, back to what you were doing." She twirled her finger around, eyeing Sirius and smiling. "Get back to it."

Sirius chuckled and pulled the pants on, admiring the fabric. It was soft and supple, a buttery warm hue that looked as soft as it felt. After tugging on the shirt Sirius turned for Paige. "Well, what do you think?"

Paige nodded, liking what she saw. "Yes, that's a good look for you. The brown is nice, suede pants are always the best."

Sirius nodded and started to pull the shirt off, but felt Paige's hand on his arm. Looking at her questioningly, Sirius asked, "Yes?"

She ran her hand down his arm and licked her lips. "I love a guy in this style shirt. Let me help." She trailed her fingers over his chest, up to the laces and undid them. Tugging a bit on it so she could see his chest, she kissed it quickly and stepped back. "That's a look I could see you in every day."

The small woman outside piped up, "Mind coming out so I can see?"

Sirius felt Paige push on his back and walked out, feeling rather silly. The woman looked him up and down for a minute and said, "If you buy them both, I'll give you twenty dollars off."

Paige stood next to him and asked, "How much are the pants?"

"One fifty, with the shirt, that will be one seventy." The woman replied.

Paige made a face but nodded. "Alright. Are they what you want?" Sirius shrugged and Paige gave the woman cash before they left.

Sirius, now clad in his new attire, suddenly became nervous about Kate and Remus. "Luv?"

Paige turned to look at him from the juggling act they had been admiring. "Hmm?"

"Ah, maybe we should get back now. Remus should have cooled off by now and I think we should go talk to him." Sirius bounced nervously and Paige gave her assent, putting a ten in the artist's tip jar as she left.

**A/N: Just when you thought it was safe to go back to Ren Faire. Oh well, something tells me though the day is far from over and Paige and Sirius might be in for a surprise when they return to the apartment. And our readers are left with a subtle cliff to ponder. **

**For a general idea of what our dancers were wearing and an overview of American tribal belly dance you can visit : or . ****Kate's Ghawazee coat is based on . ****For those of you who are infinitely cooler than the writers of this fic and have no idea what a Ren Faire is, feel free to visit .**

**As always thank you for reading, it makes us feel all warm and fuzzy to have people enjoying what we had so much fun writing. And a special thank you to all our wonderful reviewers. **

**MissMoony16: Congratulations on foiling fido yet again. We appreciate your efforts, and desperately hope you did not die due to the stress of waiting for the next chapter. Thank you for all your support. **

**Sassafras: Thank you for the review. Now you know what Kate and Paige were doing, pretty boring huh? Maybe it would have been more interesting if they were setting off fireworks for hobbits or grilling something. Oh wait, that would have been Jack's department. **

**Jen: Thank you for the review, a Renaissance Festive is about 3 to 4 days usually unless you are lucky enough to live in a region with Ren Faires that last for months. Hopefully, we gave a better idea of what the Renaissance Festival is in this chapter. As far as Kate goes, well she wanted to tell him and not telling is going to be the source of some major problems in the very immediate future. In general though, Kate does have a pattern of not being very trusting and therefore, not being very forth coming with information. **

**Katatina McGonagall: Woohoo! Thanks for the review, see Remus didn't go on too much of a rampage nothing to worry about (coughs). As far as the Moony/Remus divide I think they are both pretty well cracked (ears perk up at growl from behind Christmas tree). In a good way of course, cracked as in open to new experiences and they will be pay for any trespasses of the past few days with lemony goodness, eventually, maybe, probably, possibly. **

**Lightning Rain: Thank you for the quick note on Chapter 17, sorry again to hear about the issues with the server and posting reviews. Remember to be wary of ninjas. **

**And that is all for this fabulous morning. We are still reworking the opening scene for the next chapter, but we will be working hard this weekend to get it out ASAP. Also just as a heads up, the next few chapters will be a little on the rough side so don't say we didn't warn you. **


	20. Snogging Severus

**Disclaimer: The original characters of Remus Lupin and Sirius Black belong to the brilliant mind of J.K. Rowling.**

**Warning: Buckle your safety belts it's going to be a bumpy night… **

_The apartment the girls and Jack shared was laid out in a quite peculiar manner. One of the major selling points of it had been that kitchen looked out over the front room and was surrounded by a half-wall that formed a breakfast bar. The upside of this arrangement at the time had been, if one was cooking in the kitchen one had a clear view of the front door yet there was enough space that conversations in the kitchen or at the front door wouldn't be easily discernable. The high counter at the time was viewed as good cover, ensuring that someone in the kitchen could hide and/or take cover from an attack coming in the front door. Needless to say, it sounded like a great idea at the time…_

Chapter 20: It's the Crazy Remus Show…

When Sirius and Paige entered the front room, they could see Remus rummaging through the kitchen cupboards and preparing a tea kettle. He was wearing the same plain oxford shirt and slacks from that afternoon, his hair slightly disheveled from the wind and running his hands through it too many times. Occasionally, he would glare towards the far end of the living room in between banging cupboard doors and slamming things into the counter.

Kate was curled up on the couch in the corner of the living furthest from the kitchen. She looked pretty much how she did when she had left that morning, her face was scrubbed clean of make-up and her hair had returned to its original length. She sat quietly reading a thick book, posed as if preparing herself to meet an executioner. She looked up at Sirius and Paige, and inclined her head towards the kitchen. "He said he didn't want to talk until I was decently attired and he had made some tea. Evidently, civilized people discuss major crises only after drinking enough to fill Boston harbor.", she said quietly with a hint of acid in her voice.

Paige nodded. "Well, my parents always discussed these things over a hundred eighty decibels."

Kate sighed. "Wonderful.", she said flatly before returning to her book.

Sirius looked towards the kitchen. "Hey Paige, should we make dinner?", he asked hopefully, trying to get out of the line of fire.

"Let's wait until Remus is out of the kitchen.", she whispered.

On cue, Remus looked up from the tea set and acknowledged Paige and Sirius with a nod. He entered the far end of the living room and set the tea set down on the table in front of Kate, who set her book down on the coffee table. "Good, I thought I heard you come in.", he chirped in a brittle tone. "I'm quite glad you came home actually.", he continued handing a cup to Paige and Sirius.

"And why would that be, Remus?", Paige asked hesitantly staring at the tea leaves floating in her cup.

Remus glanced at Paige. "I just figured that between the two of you, I might be able to get a few honest answers." He turned and glared at Kate. "Since it seems that I can't get more than the precise time of day out of Kate.", he growled.

"Remus, I said I was sorry. I wish there was something more I could say and I wish I could take it back but I can't. I'm sorry.", Kate pleaded.

Sirius looked between the two and then at Paige, who had moved to speak. "Bad idea, bad idea.", he quietly chanted and Paige nodded in agreement.

Remus clenched his tea cup and shattered the handle. He set it down on the table and turned to her. "Sorry…Sorry, Kate. You're sorry, well how nice for you.", Remus spat. "Well, I'm sorry you're sorry. Perhaps you should discuss this with Ashley since he seems so keen on you. Would that make you less sorry, Kate? Perhaps, it would make you more talkative? Because from where I am standing that was a hell of a lot more than just going to the park."

Kate curled into a tighter ball and tucked her head into her chest. She began to whimper before he advanced on her and pulled her chin up. "Look at me!", he snarled. "What did you think you were doing out there?"

Paige cleared her throat and put a hand on Remus's shoulder. He jerked away and she gestured towards one of the chairs across from the couch. "Why don't you sit down in this chair and we'll go make dinner."

He sat down hard in the chair and scowled at his intended. Paige and Sirius took this for a good sign and went into the kitchen, where Sirius began cooking and Paige kept a watchful eye on Remus and Kate.

Kate looked up at him. "I am so sorry. I felt awful about not telling you…I really did want you there and I didn't think Ashley would actually do anything.", she stated docilely.

"What did you expect?", he snapped, causing her to flinch. "You paraded yourself for the whole world to see."

"But I didn't…I don't want the whole world to see me…", she started.

"Well, for someone who doesn't want to be seen, you sure did a bang up job of showing yourself off this morning.", he interrupted.

Paige threw a knife down on the cutting board. "Yep, it's sharp enough.", she said as she cast a warning glance towards Remus, who got the message and sat back in the chair.

Kate straightened a bit. "I was covered with the exception of one routine, which lasted all of three minutes. I really don't see why you are getting so upset about all this. I didn't show myself to anyone."

Remus stood up and stalked over to where Kate sat. "Can't see why I'm getting upset? Can't see why I'm getting upset? I will bloody well tell you why I'm upset. In front of a group of strangers you danced like a harlot and flaunted yourself like an ordered bride on the auction block to married to the highest bidder."

Kate moved to stand up but Remus pushed her back down. "Don't touch me.", she growled and leaned away from him.

He leaned in closer to her face. "Then who would you rather have touch you?"

'Accio wands" Sirius called out and Paige turned to him. "Just in case.", he whispered with a sheepish grin.

Paige nodded. "Remus go sit back in your chair.", she called from the kitchen over the counter. Remus glared at the pair and snorted but sat back in the chair.

Moving to the edge of her chair, Kate stared Remus in the eyes. "I'm sorry for not telling you. I'm sorry if how I dressed threatened you in some way and I'm sorry I wasn't able to dance for you. However, I will not be sorry for dancing and I will not be sorry for looking the way I look, especially after last night. Far from popular belief, I wasn't trying to provoke anyone."

Remus stared back into her eyes. "You could have fooled me.", he growled.

"Maybe I'm not sorry then. Maybe the book was right. Maybe you are too irrational at the moment to see past your own petty bullshit or perhaps it is something more sinister and you can't bear to see me as anything more than an object, a warm body to sleep with.", she growled in response.

Paige gave an exasperated sigh and called out, "Both of you behave!"

"Yes, Kate. Why don't you behave? Oh wait, you haven't all day so why start now. Did you even think of the consequences of your actions?", he said accusingly.

"Yes, Remus. I did think through the consequences of my actions and I didn't want to hurt others beyond myself so I did it.", she proudly responded still holding his gaze.

"Really, Kate? And who exactly did you help by providing masturbation material to the masses? I'm truly sorry I didn't realize that Americans could achieve sainthood by gyrating in front of a bunch of horny men.", he spat.

"Either you two behave or I will send you to separate rooms.", Paige warned from the kitchen.

Remus ignored her. "Please forgive me, Saint Kathleen, our lady of the bump and grind. Perhaps you could tell me, why it is supposedly irrational that I would be upset by all this? Why you would turn to a book instead of the man you supposed love for answers?", he growled before intensifying his gaze.

"Maybe because the man I do love decided to become a jealous control freak overnight, who would rather have a Stepford wife than a life mate.", Kate snarled meeting his eyes.

"Maybe I wouldn't be jealous if you could manage to not seduce everyman within twenty yards of yourself every time you leave the bloody house.", Remus snarled back.

'Name three men outside yourself, I have supposedly seduced. Name three…", she growled as her cup of tea shattered on the table between them. "Lockhart wants me because I'm something he can't have and he thinks that I will make a good accessory. I'm pretty enough to draw attention but mousy enough not to draw the spotlight away from him. Ashley wants just wants someone to be Zoë's mother and complete his image as family man. A nanny with sexual benefits, who will allow him to climb the Las Vegas social ladder. So Remus, what do you want?", Kate said in hushed voice as the lights began to flicker.

"Katie, you're gonna short out the microwave like last time. Please calm down.", Paige said emphatically and the flickering stopped.

Remus broke eye contact and glanced at Paige and Sirius in the kitchen. Returning his gaze to Kate, he gave her a pained smile. "I want you, Kate. I want all of you but for some reason you don't want to share that with me.", he said his voice slowly climbing as the dishes on the table began to shake. "Do you actually want me Kate or is this some twisted game to you? You just tease some poor bloke into desiring you…craving you…needing you but never really let him see you."

"Sorry, Remus you've got the two of us mixed up.", Paige piped in from the kitchen.

Remus glared at the witch. "Why don't you bloody well stay out of this?", he snapped.

"Why don't you get a goddamn brain?", she retorted.

"Shut it, you meddlesome chit.", Remus paused for a moment as dark realization crossed his features. "You told her not to tell me didn't you?", he growled accusingly.

"Yes, I did actually. Though I can't really see why since your acting every inch the thoughtful gentleman.", she said sarcastically. "Oh wait, did I say gentleman? What I meant to say was dumbass."

"You squalid voluptuary harpy, how dare you try to keep her from me? Who the fuck do you think you are?", he bellowed. Both Kate and Sirius grimaced at this last comment.

"Dark Arts Security, specializing in lycanthropy. You overbearing pigheaded zealot.", she spat back.

Sirius grabbed Paige's arm. "Paige, let's go.", he said calmly.

Paige pulled away. "Sirius, I've got a knife, don't touch me again if you want to keep yourself intact." He pulled the knife from her hand and moved to speak but Remus interrupted.

"Wow, threatening the masses now. No wonder you work for the Ministry. Why don't you just chain Kate up and give her some nice silver earrings while you're at it?", he said in a dangerously low tone.

"Maybe I will, if it means she doesn't have to hear you, Remus the super-psycho!", she yelled.

"Maybe if everyone just let us alone we wouldn't be fighting. Have you ever thought of that, Miss. Pierce?", Remus growled as he stood up and crossed in front of the couch, taking a protective stance between Paige and Kate.

"Have you read the books on lycanthropy, Remus? Have you ever sat in on one of Moody's lectures? First, you'll rape her. Then you'll tear a chunk out of her shoulder with your teeth and beat her into submission. And if she just happens to make it through the night, you'll not let her out of your sight until you've successfully knocked her up and her spirit is so broken, it wouldn't even cross her mind to do something without your permission.", she hissed.

Sirius forcibly turned Paige to face him and said the first thing that came to mind. "Paige, I don't have a gag reflex. Wanna see? In fact, I think you should this…outside."

"No, Sirius. I would rather not. For future reference, not having a gag reflex is only beneficial for sword-swallowers and deep-throaters.", she responded.

Sirius nodded. "Well, come for a walk with me. These two need to work this out on their own." Paige shot a death glare at Remus but nodded and left with Sirius.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius pulled Paige out of the apartment and down the stairs, starting for the walkway so she could cool off. She stopped however, and looked up at the apartment. "Do you think it's safe to leave? He's acting very strange right now."

Sirius smiled and put his arm around her shoulder. "He's gentle as a kitten, that one. Wouldn't hurt her for anything. Kate is a strong person, he won't hurt her."

Paige looked away, the wind blowing her hair into her eyes. "I know, but I'm just worried about her. She's never had a guy she cared about so much for before and I don't want her to get hurt. Besides, Remus is acting a little off his rocker right now, no offense."

Sirius chuckled and laced his fingers through hers, tugging her down the walkway. "Come on, luv. You'll feel better after a good stroll."

Paige took one last glance up at the balcony window before grudgingly starting down the leave strewn path. Sirius seemed to really enjoy himself, sniffing the air with a big smile on his face. Paige gave him an amused smile and nudged his side. "Having fun?"

He glanced down and nodded. "Well, this is the first walk I've gone on in fifteen years. It's amazing how much you miss this kind of thing when the option is taken away from you."

Paige giggled and took off running down the path to a little trail behind the storage shed, causing Sirius to follow out of curiosity.

He followed her retreating form around a corner and stopped, there was no sign of her. Walking warily forward, he called out, "Paige?", and was promptly tugged back into a big clump of bushes. He lost his balance and fell on the ground where laughing brown eyes met his startled grey ones as he stared up into Paige's face. "Don't do that to me, I almost pissed myself!", he shouted.

Paige burst into giggles and extended a hand, helping Sirius back to his feet. "Well, I wanted to play a little joke on you. I'm sorry that you didn't enjoy my little sneak attack. I'm also glad that you kept your bodily functions in check, cause that would totally ruin the mood that I'm trying to create."

Sirius chuckled at her and asked, "What mood would that be, luv?"

"Well, doesn't it seem a bit odd to you that there's a bench right behind you in the middle of a big patch of honeysuckle bushes?", she asked. Sirius glanced back and nodded. "I put it here because a bed would be too obvious."

He furrowed his brow and sat down on the bench, noticing Paige doing the same and sitting rather close. "What do you mean?"

She put her arms around him, rubbing her leg up against his. "I mean that I planned on shagging you tonight and upstairs wouldn't be a very good spot for it right now because I would get in a fight with Remus before we could do anything. Do you like the idea of shagging outside?"

Sirius gave her a wide-eyed stare, drawing in a shaky breath before nodding. He decided to make the first move and kissed her neck, bringing a soft moan from her and fumbled with the buttons on her shirt. He looked up into her eyes, noting the dark brown shade of them had grown ever darker from passion. Now they looked almost black, reminding him somewhat of Snape.

The effect was instantaneous upon him. He grimaced, not wanting this to make Paige think he's too old for her because his erection had gone down. He kissed her, probing her mouth with his tongue, hoping something would happen so that she wouldn't find out that he thought of Snape when she wanted sex. He traced small circles down her arms, trying to prolong the inevitable, and kissed the hollow of her neck. He smiled when he felt a shiver run through her and tugged on her shirt.

"Sirius?", she asked, gasping as he nibbled on her ear.

"Hmm?", he asked, cringing at the thought of revealing his current state.

"Why aren't you putting your entire body on mine? I want to feel you against me."

Sirius sighed and was about to answer when Paige suddenly bucked him off. "I saw police lights. Let's go see what is going on."

Sirius silently thanked whatever deity was suddenly being so nice to him and followed after.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As the door closed behind Paige and Sirius, Remus returned to his chair and the room fell silent. The werewolves sat across from each other, silently challenging the other to be the first to speak. Kate shifted in her chair and uncrossed her legs.

Remus leapt off his chair and stood beside the coffee table. "Don't you dare think about leaving.", he spat causing the lights to flicker.

Kate leaned further back into the couch. "I had no intention of leaving yet." The last word stung Remus in more ways than Kate could imagine.

He cringed, and shifted on the balls of his feet. "Yet? So you do plan on leaving me then?", he said in a raised voice. _Don't let her go, _ordered a young voice in Remus's head.

"Remus, I don't plan on leaving the apartment and I don't want to leave you.", she said in a soft voice.

"You don't want to leave me? But you never said you wouldn't leave. You'll probably run the first chance you get, leave me alone and heartbroken like they all did. Is that what you want Kate?", he whispered next to her ear.

"What are you talking about? I am not leaving, unless I have an urgent reason to leave.", she declared pulling away from him, causing him to step back.

"Well Kate, it isn't like you haven't tried to leave in the past." His words thrusted at her like a sword. She pulled her legs under herself and clasped a throw pillow to her chest. "A little late for modesty now, Kathleen or should I say Durga.", he spat at her as if the words were poisoned, before forcibly taking the pillow away from her.

Kate grimaced, before straightening in the chair and meeting his eyes. "I told you before I was covered for the entire performance.", she growled and the remaining tea cup shattered. She startled at the noise and grabbed another pillow. "It doesn't really matter, the only one I want is you.", she said softening her tone.

Remus paused for a minute, but as he tried to collect himself the voice chimed in again. _She'll leave you if you let her. She'll leave and never come back like the others. She'll be taken away from you like James and Lily. _

He shook his head for a moment but couldn't stop himself. Standing in front of Kate, Remus towered over her. "But it does matter to me, it matters that you are flaunting yourself in front of other men. It matters that you let them see you, be near you, touch you.", he growled just as the bookshelf collapsed on itself.

She curled into a tighter ball. "No one touched me, Remus. I didn't want anyone of them to touch me.", she whimpered.

He grabbed the pillow from her and tossed it across the room. "Look at me, Kate!", he bellowed causing her to flinch. "Look at me.", he repeated in a quiet growl. "I saw you. I saw him kiss you. I saw the perfect little family he has planned for you.", he said in an almost whisper as the television exploded.

Kate pushed him away and stood up, meeting his eyes. "I don't want Ashley and he doesn't want me, Remus."

"Funny, Kate!! That's not what I saw. I saw a man kissing you on the lips. He wants you and I won't let him have you.", he growled as he pressed her against the edge of the couch.

Kate swiftly maneuvered herself so that she could back towards the door. "Remus, listen to me. I don't want him, I never have and never will. He is just a friend, who is confused after the death of his wife.", she said as she backed away.

"I don't care if he is confused because his last partner was a fucking llama.", he whispered as all the light bulbs in the room exploded leaving only the moonlight to illuminate the room. _Make her see, she has to see that she can't leave, you can't let her leave, _the voice in Remus's head pleaded. He grabbed her shoulders, bruising her with his fingertips. "He signaled that he wanted you and he can't have you because you are mine." As he said the last word, Remus pulled her into a crushing kiss.

Kate broke away and stumbled back towards the door. "You're not in your right mind. Remus, please listen to me. I don't want Ashley, I only want you. And I won't fight you, please don't make me.", she pleaded.

Remus matched her step for step. "You are not leaving me.", he said physically shaking with each step.

"I'm not leaving you, Remus. It is just better if we both cool off before this gets anymore out of hand. You need to calm down. Please Moony, I don't want to hurt you and I trust you don't want to hurt me.", she said trying to calm him.

Remus shook his head and his eyes changed from amber to a glowing gold for a second, as concern flashed across his face. "Run.", he whispered as he tried to throw himself backwards but whipped around to face Kate instead. His eyes were now more hazel in color with a fair sprinkling of green. "I don't want to hurt you, Kate. But I cannot let you leave, it hurts just too much.", he said his eyes bright with unshed tears.

Kate's heart went out to him, but Luna was strongly urging her to flee so that he could cool down. She took a hesitant step towards the door. Remus tackled her pushing her to the floor, his weight dislocating her hip. Kate let out a blood curdling scream.

Remus flinched at the sound and covered her mouth. "Shh…it will be alright, darling. I'm sorry, love, but I can't let you go.", he cooed, trying to comfort her. Tears streamed down her face and he brushed kisses on the top of her head. "It's alright. I didn't mean to hurt you, sweetness. I'm sorry.", he said as if talking to a small child.

After she stopped struggling for a few minutes, he moved his fingers and she bit down on them. She shrieked and clawed at him, still unable to push him off her. After struggling for several minutes, Remus pinned Kate securely to the floor. He held her arms away from her, so that her palms laid flat on the floor. "Calm down, you are going to hurt yourself if you don't stop struggling.", he admonished in an eerily gentle voice.

She sobbed into the rug. "Let me go, Remus. Please just let me go."

Remus kissed the back of her neck. "I can't let you go Kate. I've lost too much, I will not risk loosing you."

She screamed again and began to thrash about wildly. Unable to restrain her any other way, he bit down on the back of her neck, drawing blood. Kate's body stilled and she fell silent.

The metallic taste of blood snapped Remus back to the reality of what he was doing. A deep growled sounded in his head. _You promised to protect her you bastard. You promised not to harm her, how could you. You love her, _Moony shouted at him.

He released his jaws and sobbed into her curls. "Please stop making me hurt you.", he pleaded. "I'll let you up. I'll give you everything I have and am, just please don't leave me. Please Kate, please just stay with me. You don't have to be mine just let me be yours. I love you so much I just …I'm so sorry, please don't leave."

If she wasn't pinned to the floor, Kate would have kicked herself. _Fucking hell Kate, why the hell didn't you see it before? Why didn't you see it at the Faire? How many cases have you had where the client just wanted to gain the promise that you wouldn't leave? How many times did they just not want to be left alone_, she thought, chastising herself. If the two greatest motivators in the world were fear and love, the greatest human fear was the loss of love. And if his words were any indication, Remus had lost a lot of love over the course of his lifetime.

"Remus, I love you. I wanted you, and I mean all of you to be my mate ever since that first night.", she said quietly. Pausing to take a deep breath, she heard him take a shuddering one. "I am yours, I told you that in the forest. I don't want anyone else, I only want you."

Remus whimpered and licked the wound on the back of her neck. "I'm so sorry, Kate.", he whispered as the front door came crashing down a few inches away from the pair. As the dust cleared, Las Vegas Magical Metropolitan Law Enforcement stormed the room with their wands and guns drawn.

**A/N: Happy Christmas!!! Don't say we didn't warn you. **

**Hornhead: We didn't warn you. Ha, hahahaha… ha!**

**Also we are terribly sorry we didn't bring this up earlier but the apartment is laid out with a front door that leads to a large living area with open kitchen. On the North side of the living area is a door that leads to the dining room which contains to the door to the balcony and a fireplace. On the Westside of the living area is a hall that leads to the bedrooms. Kate's room is the first room on the right, Paige's is the second room, and the guestroom is the third room. The guestroom is magically expandable and collapsible as is the dining room. Across the hall from the guest room is a bathroom, and a Southward hall that leads to the master bedroom where Jack and Rose stay. **

**Hornhead: So here's our Christmas/Yule present to you all. A chapter that will make you all sad. Ha-ha! The next chapter will piss you all off. Especially at me, as Paige is my character. Hehehe, none of you know what is going to happen and what Paige is going to do to piss you all off. So, there's my personal present to you all, a great big nagging suspicion. **

**Sassafras: Do you think Remus is still mad? We don't know, we can't decide. Please tell us so we can sleep at night! By the way, you really picked up fast on that whole Jack thing. Good job!**

**Thebeautifulletdown: hehehe, he's a dog and we had to put that in somewhere. Since this is FFN and not AFFN and I don't really feel like writing a lemon with peanut butter, this seemed like the better choice.**

**Jen: WOOHOO! We actually have someone reading this who's of age to even go see a rated R movie, much less read our story. That makes us happy. We're not corrupting you. The peanut butter myth is something I hadn't heard of either, but Prof told me about it. I think those women must be pretty desperate… icky!**

**Katrina McGonagall: We'll see about the little room idea. The sad part about the girls' friends in the tent is, those are all based on our friends. We stuck very close to the original people, too. They aren't _usually_ on anything, that's just the way they act. Raven and Oak are Prof's roommates and they will be showing up in future chapters, still as crazy and seemingly tripping as ever.**

**For those of you who would like to give us something in return, please review and put us over 100. (Multiple reveiws of chapters don't count)**

**Next chapter will be out Boxing Day. See you then.**


	21. Bad Wolf, Bad Wolf

**Disclaimer: We don't own it, and J.K. Rowling might faint if she actually read this chapter. However, we do thank her for creating two of our characters. Oh well, at least it's not slash.**

**Warnings: Violence, adult language, and dark subjects. **

Chapter 21: When Did We Start Hosting Fight Club at Our Apartment?

Paige rounded the corner and froze. "Shit!", she exclaimed and turned to Sirius. "Stay here.", she ordered and took off towards the apartment at a run.

She raced up the apartment stairs only to see Remus being dragged away in handcuffs by Vegas Magical Metro. Two officers were visible through the smashed door; they were helping a very battered Kate to the couch. Jack was in the bushes singing a bastardized version of the COPS song, as the officers escorted Remus to the squad car.

Paige walked over to Jack. "What the hell is going on?", she demanded.

Jack was too enthralled by his song to notice her. "Bad wolf, bad wolf, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you…"

Paige smacked him. "What the fuck happened, Jack?"

Jack beamed. "Evidently, they fought. You know how werewolves get.", he said gleefully.

"I'm gonna kill Sirius.", she growled in response.

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Why? What is going on, Paige?", he said in a somber tone.

"If I knew that Jack, I wouldn't have asked you.", Paige sneered. She climbed the stairs to the apartment to find a female officer resetting Kate's hip. Kate let out a squeak as a loud crack indicated that it had popped back into place.

Paige's eyes went wide. "What the fuck did he do to you?" She didn't get an answer though, because Kate had fainted from the shock. Paige looked at the female officer.

The officer looked at Paige. "We were called on a domestic, when the downstairs neighbors heard a woman screaming. We found her pinned to the floor by the perp in custody a few minutes ago. She wasn't coherent enough to comment."

Paige narrowed her eyes. "What all did he do to her?"

"I'm sorry I can't tell you unless you are an officer.", the officer replied.

Paige pulled out her badge from her back pocket. "Agent Paige Pierce, Dark Arts Security."

The other woman nodded. "When we found her, she had a dislocated hip, cuts and bruises on her arms, and a bad bite on the back of the neck. Typical domestic though; she was begging us not to take him away, probably scared half to death of him by the looks of it."

"I'm assuming he's being taken to jail." Paige stated.

The officer shook her head. "Airport, actually. He's a non-citizen so we are sending him back to England to have their Ministry handle it."

Paige dashed down the stairs and caught up with the arresting officer before he closed the door to the squad car. "Agent Paige Pierce, Dark Arts Security. Can I have a word?", she asked breathlessly. The arresting officer stepped out of the car. "Oberon?", she exclaimed.

Oberon smiled. "Hey, Paige. What's up? You're not assigned to this jerk are you?"

Paige smiled. _Thank God, I've dated him, _she thought. "No nothing like that but the situation is a little on the rough side. This guy is a werewolf." Oberon snorted but Paige continued. "Unfortunately for us, the person he attacked is also a werewolf. If you go through with the arrest we will all be doing paperwork for months and that's if we are lucky enough to not have the ACLU or MCDCDL involved." He nodded and gave Paige a thoughtful look. "We could do this under the radar?", she asked coyly.

Oberon smiled. "I could give him a warning, maybe rough him up a bit."

"The victim is my roommate. I'll take care of it.", she stated, cracking her knuckles for effect.

He grinned. "You sure? Ol' Marty and I would love to have a chat with him.", he said as he fingered his nightstick.

Paige stepped up to him, running her hands down his chest as she leaned in. "Oberon, I'm perfectly capable of handling one little werewolf. If you get another call, I'll let you rough him up.", she said in his ear.

He gave her a wicked grin. "As you wish, but if I get another call tonight I doubt I'll let him out of the desert.", he declared as he threw Remus out of the patrol car. "He's all yours." He tipped his hat to Paige and drove off.

Paige helped Remus up. "Before we go back to the apartment, you're going to have to tell me why you hurt Kate." She lead him behind the dumpster at the back of the complex.

Remus studied the ground. "I didn't mean to. She was going to leave and I couldn't let her, Paige. I love her; I just couldn't let her walk out."

Paige nodded calmly. "Would you like to go up the apartment to revive Kate?"

Remus blanched. "What's wrong with Kate? She was awake when I left…"

"Well for starters, she passed out after the officer reset her hip.", Paige casually remarked as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Remus started shaking. "Is she alright? Why didn't you take her to a mediwitch?"

Paige set her jaw. "Do you want to go up there?"

Remus's eyes lit up. "Yes", he stated and moved to push past her. Paige grabbed for him but he dodged her stepping towards the apartment.

She whipped her wand out and cast "Imperio."

She leaned against the dumpster and smiled as he ran full force into the stucco wall. He came to stand before her. "Now, this is more like it. You can go back up when I've taught you not to abuse my friend."

Sirius stepped behind the dumpsters. "Paige, what are you doing?"

She shrugged. "Getting to the bottom of things."

Sirius paled. "What happened?"

"Explain everything, Remus.", she demanded.

Remus smiled brightly. "Nothing to worry about, mate. I'm just planning a surprise for Kate and Paige is helping me."

Paige looked at her nails. "You see. Now can you go check on Kate?" Sirius nodded warily and headed back.

Paige smiled and straightened up getting down to business. "Now where were we? Ah…yes. Finite Incantatum. I want you in your right mind for this."

Remus shook off the after effects of the Imperio. "Paige, I realize I deserve this. I probably deserve more than this but I need to see Kate now.", he growled.

Paige blocked the exit. "You're not going to see her until I say you can."

He took a small step towards the exit. "I need to see her. She's hurt, she needs me."

Paige narrowed her eyes. "She's hurt because of you.", she said before she stepped forward and punched him in the stomach.

Remus bent at the waist. "Paige, listen…"

"No, it's your turn to listen.", she hissed in his ear. She slammed her knee into his groin making him completely double over before she elbowed him in the kidney. "I just saved your goddamn life, after you beat my roommate into submission." She pushed him over on to the ground and kicked him soundly in the stomach. "And if you think a little apology is going to stop me, you're wrong. Kate's gonna be pissed at me, but you deserve this."

Remus groaned and retracted into a ball. Paige gave a sadistic smile in satisfaction. "And to prove what I nice person I am, I'll send Sirius down for you in a while." She turned and went back to the apartment without a second glance.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius entered the apartment to find Kate lying unattended and unconscious on the sofa. He picked her up and took her to bed wincing when he saw the bite on the back of her neck. Out of practice with healing spells, he decided it was safer for Paige to handle it when she got back. He sat down in a chair near the bed and studied Kate, while he waited.

Guilt coursed through him and his eyes came to rest on the bite mark just barely visible at this position. "Damn it, Moony. I didn't think you'd go this far. Paige tried to warn me and I didn't listen. She's smarter than I give her credit for.", he said to himself and sighed heavily.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After staring at Kate for around twenty-minutes, Sirius walked out into the living to find the front door mended and Paige crying. "What's wrong, Paige? Why is Kate unconscious?"

Paige drew in a calming breath and went to the bathroom to get supplies. "Go get a towel and wrap it over some ice, alright? Then I'll explain." Sirius nodded and quickly came back with said materials to see Paige still crying as she performed several spells on Kate's neck trying to get the wound to close.

He gave her the towel and the ice. "Paige, I'm so sorry I didn't believe you. This is all my fault.", he said quietly.

Paige shook her head vigorously and pulled the band of Kate's pants down so she could put the ice on her hip. "No, Sirius. The monster behind this is Remus."

Sirius looked around. "Where is he anyway?"

Paige stifled a satisfied smile. "Oh, he's outside thinking things over." She stood up and pulled out her wand. "This isn't going to be pretty. Enerv…"

Sirius quickly placed his hand over Paige's mouth. "Sorry, but we don't want the aurors to show up again. Silencio."

Paige nodded. "Right.", she replied and cast "Envervate" on Kate.

Kate bolted upright in the bed and let out a bone chilling shriek. Paige cringed at the sound and crawled on the bed to hold her while she sobbed uncontrollably.

Sirius stood staring awkwardly at the pair, until both he and Paige startled at the sound of the new repaired front door slamming open.

"Where the hell is my daughter?", Bob bellowed from the front room.

Paige looked at Sirius. "Show him in."

Sirius went into the hall and motioned for Bob to follow him. Bob and Abigail went to the bedroom, and an unknown man took a seat on the couch.

Bob saw Kate on the bed in Paige's arms and stifled a gasp. "What happened?", he growled.

Paige sighed. "Calm down, Bob. She'll be fine. Take a deep breath and I'll tell you."

He grunted and took a deep breath before continuing. "What happened, Paige?"

"Jack brought Remus to Kate's performance today and a fight ensued when we got back. Against my better judgment, Sirius and I left so they could work it out in private and things got out of hand from there.", she stated.

"Where is that son of a bitch?", Bob growled.

Abigail stepped forward and rubbed Bob's back. "Calm down, Robert. It's done, no use making things worse." The one eyed witch opened the door and called down the hall. "John, we need you."

Sirius took a step back as John entered the room. He was a striking African wizard with amber eyes and a mane of gray and black braids. He was a few inches taller than Sirius and seemed to radiate energy. He gave a nod to the wizard as he stepped further into the room.

John adjusted his spectacles and turned to his wife. "Yes, Abby?"

"John, can you please escort Bob home?", she asked.

He clasped Bob on the shoulder. "Come on, Bob. We can't do anything here.". He then led his pack mate out of the apartment.

Abigail watched them leave before climbing on the bed. She stroked Kate's hair, causing her sobs to lessen to a quiet whimper. Abby turned to Paige. "Where is he?", she whispered.

"Thinking about things.", she snapped and Kate gave a slightly louder whimper.

"Shah…It's alright, sweetheart." Abigail frowned at Paige but refrained from commenting. "We need to get her on her stomach so we can tend to the bite."

Paige gave the older werewolf a forced smile. "I already did all that Abby."

Abigail nodded and looked at the back of Kate's neck. "Well, it's healing, that's a good sign. I don't like how the left side is scabbing; you'll need to keep an eye on that."

Paige got slightly annoyed and Sirius piped up. "Can I go get Remus now? He's been thinking for an awfully long time."

"Nope, I gave him a lot to think about.", she replied.

At the mention of Remus's name, Kate gave a high pitched keen and started to shake. Paige rubbed her back and made shhing sounds.

Abby brushed the hair out of Kate's face. "What happened, sweetheart?"

"All my fault.", Kate sobbed, wrapping herself around Abby.

"Bullshit!", Paige snorted.

Kate pulled away from Paige and whimpered. Abigail held her protectively and glared at Paige. "What happened, Katie?", she coaxed.

"I forgot, I didn't see it right away. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.", Kate whimpered.

Paige sniffed on the verge of crying again. "You didn't do anything wrong, Kate. What happened after we left?"

Kate gasped for a breath and tried to calm herself. "I didn't read him right at Ren. Faire. He was showing all the symptoms of Parlo anxiety. I should have just stayed with him until he calmed down but I just reacted and wanted to flee.", she said, between sobs.

Paige let out a breath. "Shit."

"He didn't mean to hurt me, it's just the reaction. Remember when we brought James to Dad's house?" Kate said settling some.

Abigail nodded. "He wouldn't let you out of his sight the first week. Did he hurt you out of anger?"

Paige grimaced. "Sirius go get him and take him into my room.", she whispered.

Kate started sobbing again. "No, he just didn't want me to leave."

Abigail stroked her hair and made a low thrumming sound. "It will work itself out, sweetie. You just need to get some sleep and this will all look better in the morning. You know, before our first full moon John put me in the hospital. Of course, that was the same time I put him in intensive care." She pulled two vials from her robes. "Here, drink these." Kate drank the potions and fell asleep within a few minutes.

Paige eased off the bed. "Well, do you want to help me clean up some of my own handiwork?"

Abby smiled. "Of course.", she replied and followed Paige into the hall.

Sirius and Remus were walking down the hall, when Sirius spotted Paige. He glared at her. "You have a lot of explaining to do."

Paige nodded. "Maybe later, for right now I need to take care of Remus."

Sirius stepped between them. "I think you've done quite enough of that. Stay away from him."

Paige gritted her teeth. "You know what, Sirius? I've gone through quite enough tonight and I don't need to deal with you. Now move before I hurt you!"

Abigail took a step forward. "Paige, kindly talk to Sirius. Mr. Lupin, please follow me.", she said gently as she directed Remus towards the guestroom.

Paige held her ground. "Sirius can wait. He's used to doing that because he got so much practice in Azkaban."

Sirius turned white and pulled his wand on Paige. "Shut it, bitch.", he spat.

Paige clenched her fists and moved to stand next to Remus. "Please let me just clean you up."

"I just want to see Kate.", he said barely above a whisper, not bothering or unable to look up.

Paige grimaced. "We'll clean you up in Kate's room. Please let me repair some of the damage I've done to you."

Remus ran his hand across Kate's door with a far away look. "I'll be fine. I just need to see that she's alright."

Paige cast a sidelong glance to Abigail, who motioned her head towards the door, suggesting they go in. "She's sleeping at the moment." Paige paused, thinking over the decision to take Remus into Kate. "Why don't we go into the guestroom and get you cleaned up first? Please just let me apologize."

Abigail stepped behind Remus. "Where do you need to be Remus?", she asked, ignoring the glares Sirius and Paige sent her. He made a soft keening noise and fell to his knees, pawing at the door.

Sirius pushed Paige out the way. He crouched to hug Remus and avoided her gaze.

Remus ran his hand down the door again. "I'm so sorry. I didn't want to hurt her. I didn't realize…", he broke down into sobs.

Paige shoved Sirius off and opened Kate's door. "She's fine, Remus. In the morning, she'll be a little achy but no major damage."

Remus turned to Paige. "Thank you.", he whispered and headed into the room.

Abigail cut in front of Paige before she could enter the room. "Leave them be. I will check him out and get him to sleep." Paige opened her mouth to protest. "I think a little guilt is not uncalled for on your part, you can wait until morning to clear your conscience. He needs sleep more than apologies at this point anyway." Paige clenched her jaw and nodded. Abigail then closed the door to Kate's room, leaving Paige and Sirius alone in the hall.

Paige brushed past Sirius, intent on sleeping and cooling off. She went straight into her room and tried to close the door, but Sirius had other ideas.

He forced the door open, knocking Paige back into the wall, and stormed into the room. He looked around, realized where she was, and grabbed her arm. "Just what in Agrippa's name possessed you to put Remus in the state he's in? Do you _enjoy_ hurting people?"

Paige glared at him. "If the situation is right, I do what I feel is necessary to make sure that it doesn't happen again."

"Tell me, Paige, is being a sadistic freak something that comes natural to you or is it something you learned in school?", Sirius sneered.

Paige willed herself to calm down and responded, "Sirius, I'm really wound up right now and we're both very tired. Why don't we discuss this in the morning when we feel better and have had time to think things over?"

His grip on her arm tightened and he shook his head slightly. "No, Paige. I want to talk about this _now_, not in the morning. You've hurt Remus and I can't allow you to avoid facing the consequences."

Paige swallowed, suddenly appreciating how dangerous Sirius could be, and regained her composure. "I lost my temper tonight, Sirius. I wanted to tell Remus that I am very sorry; you couldn't keep your mouth shut long enough to let that happen. If you will just leave me alone and go away, I'll be able to do it first thing in the morning before work, alright?"

Sirius laughed coldly and shook her slightly. "Oh, so it is my fault that he didn't get to receive the apology that he deserves? I guess I should do the right thing, then, and let you go."

Paige shook her head and tried to break free, but Sirius's hold on her was too tight. For her struggles, she was rewarded with a backhand that left her tasting blood.

She looked away from him and wiped her mouth. "You fucking bastard.", she spat.

Sirius glowered at her, deciding what to do next. "It's better to be a bastard than a stupid chit with twisted ideas of justice."

Paige whipped her head up to look at him and he backhanded her again, but she was ready this time and kept looking into his eyes. "Keep it up, Sirius, I deserve it and I want it. Hit me again, though, and I will fight back."

Sirius took this as a challenge and punched her in the face, his fist connected with her eye. Paige lost the little self-control she had left and wrenched out of his grip. "Sirius, you will regret this.", she said and threw a hex at him. He managed to dodge out of the way and was caught off guard when she threw him to the ground. He used the move he'd seen her use on Erik use earlier that day, and thrust his palm upward, firmly hitting her solar plexus. She gave a strangled gasp and he pushed her off.

Gritting his teeth, he growled, "You have hurt one of the few things I hold dear. I won't regret anything I do here tonight!", he looked down at her impassively and continued. "You, on the other hand, I'm quite sure will learn to never, ever upset a Marauder."

Paige had gathered her wits back together and hooked a foot behind his knee as she kicked him in the thigh. He toppled over backwards and hit his head on the corner of her desk. He growled when blood started flowing freely down into his face. Paige used this distraction to stand up and stepped back, allowing Sirius to stand. "Be careful, Sirius, this is what I do for a living and I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing here more than you do. My patience is wearing very thin about now, especially with you, so please leave.", she asked. As an after thought, she muttered, "Silencio."

Sirius glared at her and looked around for his wand, which seemed to have gotten away from him at one point. He didn't see it right away and opened his mouth to summon it, but no sound came out. He tried again and had the same results. He cast a nervous glance at Paige and readied himself to dodge whatever she planned on doing, making her laugh.

"Sirius, I have no intention of hurting you if you leave now, alright? I just know that you can do wandless magic and I am in no mood to put up with whatever half thought out spell you throw at me. If you decide to stay, we do this purely physical, no magic.", she stated and took a fighting stance.

Now more furious than ever, Sirius lunged at her. His hands locked around her neck, making Paige grimace. She tried to break free, but couldn't, so she whirled him around into the wall. His grip loosened just enough for get out of and she danced back. Sirius recovered and swung a fist at her, knocking her to the ground as he split her lip. She stood back up, facing away from him and he put her in a head lock. Paige dropped to her knee and rolled her shoulder, throwing him to the ground. She punched his chest, right below the collar bone, next to the socket for his arm, and backed away.

Sirius groaned as his arm went numb, yet every nerve in it seemed to be on fire, and rolled onto his side. Tears started forming in his eyes, but he didn't notice them.

Paige did, however, and stood back from him. "Sirius, I'm sorry, I didn't have the whole story alright? I lost my temper and hurt someone very dear to two of my friends."

He opened his eyes and saw his wand lying under her bed. He lunged for it and cast a sonorus before jumping to his feet. He glared at her and raised his wand.

Paige froze completely, he wasn't stable at the moment and she didn't want to do anything to provoke him. She realized that she was completely unarmed and started inching toward her desk, her mind on the gun in the top drawer. Sirius didn't waste any time, though, and sneered, "Locomotor mortis."

Paige's legs shut together and her eyes went wide as she realized how much Sirius was in control. She made her face impassive again after a moment, and matched Sirius's unflinching gaze. As he stared at her, he tried to figure out what to do next. "You know, I was starting to care for you. You have done things for me that no one has; but I can't forget that you have betrayed me and I am tired of people doing that."

Paige felt a tear make it's way down her cheek and shook her head. "Sirius, I'm sorry. My temper got the best of me and I made a mistake, alright? Please, let's just talk about this later when we're not so high-strung. Please?"

Sirius let her out of the leg lock and slumped back against the bed frame tired of fighting. "Alright, but I want to know why I should listen to you. How will I know that you aren't lying?"

Paige kneeled down, where she was, and took a deep breath. "I lost my temper, Sirius…"

"You already said that part", he snapped, interrupting her.

Paige nodded. "Yes, I know, but you don't seem to be getting anything through your head right now so I thought that I should repeat it. The point is, I am not perfect and I messed up. It's not the only time someone here tonight has done something that they regret."

"I don't regret anything, I've done tonight." Sirius growled.

"Yes, Sirius, I get it. You feel completely at home kicking the crap out of a woman, okay? You don't care who it is or what they want, you like hurting people. Now shut up so I can talk!", she shouted.

Sirius sat up straight and pointed his wand at Paige. "Don't you talk to me that way!"

"Well, stop interrupting me and I might. For now, though, I wish that the silencing spell was still on you so I could talk without getting interrupted!", she retorted.

Sirius sat back warily and crossed his arms, huffing as he waited for her to speak again. Paige looked at him for a minute, letting him have a chance to speak before she continued and said, "I messed up, Sirius. I don't expect you to be okay with that, but I do believe you understand what that is like. I messed up and I wanted to apologize to Remus tonight. If you hadn't started yelling in my face, I would have gotten that chance. Now, I'll have to wait until after work tomorrow, since he won't be up by the time I leave. If that isn't what you want, then I'm sorry. I can't please anyone today and tomorrow is just too busy."

Sirius frowned. "I can understand that but I....I...What would you do if I started beating Kate? How would you react?"

Wincing, Paige responded, "I think that question has already been answered when Remus did it."

"Maybe we aren't so different then.", he announced, turned on his heel and left the room.

Paige swore under her breath and reached for the phone; she needed a friend right now…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Soon enough, Justin was knocking at the front door. Paige opened it and threw her arms around him. "Thank you for coming, Gopher."

Justin smiled at her and stepped inside. "Is everything ok? You sounded really upset on the phone."

Tears sprang to Paige's eyes and she looked away. "The entire fucking house has been brawling all night and it's my fault. Now Kate's passed out in her room, after having her hip popped back in place. Remus suffered quite a few blows to the stomach, and I got the crap kicked out of me by Sirius."

Justin tilted her chin up and surveyed the damage. Her lip was swollen, her neck bruised, and her cheek was starting to purple. "That guy you were with today, that's Sirius?" Paige nodded somberly and Justin straightened up. "Where is that abusive bastard?", he demanded, clenching his fists.

Paige took his hand and led him to her room. "Don't worry about him. Please. I will take care of it in the morning. For now, could you do me a favor?"

Justin let out a breath and wiped some of the blood from her nose with a Kleenex. "Anything, just ask."

"Will you stay the night?", Paige asked softly.

**A/N: Aw… one of the romantic leads went to bed with a man, who is not one of the heroes of our tale. Oh well, even Sin City has its off nights. Anyway, just FYI, in Nevada arrests are required on Domestic Violence calls and it is illegal for an officer to reset someone's hip. Kate would have been taken by paramedics to a local hospital, where a doctor would have reset her hip; but this is fanfiction and we needed a handy-dandy plot device. **

**So thank you for reading our lovely little tale, I know it seems bleak but the sun will rise again. And as always thank you to our wonderful reviewers. **

**Sassafras: Well, the good news is Remus is no longer mad at Kate. Unfortunately, he is pretty broken at the moment and he will get mad again, but not to worry it will be a more constructive anger. Thanks for the review. **

**Jen: I greatly appreciate that you don't mind crazy Remus, too much. He was rather hard to write and I claim full responsibility for him. He will get better, he just has a lot of baggage to work out. Actually, all our characters have a lot of baggage to work out; must be why we chose boxing day for the release date on this chapter…Hmmm…But I digress, Sirius is safe from LVMMLE for the moment. Thank you for the review. **

**Surfergurl16: Thanks for the review, we really don't know why the cops showed up. But we think it was either Kate slamming into the floor and alerting the downstairs neighbors or the screaming thing. One of the two, perhaps they were simply profiling English werewolves. **

**TheBeautifulLetDown: Yay! They didn't take Remus away. Oh wait a minute…Ow, that's got to hurt…Maybe Azkaban wasn't such a bad option. Thank you for reviewing. **

**And that is all for today folks. Happy Boxing Day!! Our next installment will be on New Year's Eve. Feel free to review and tell us what you think, we appreciate the input. Thank you, Prof. Pendragon. **


	22. Don't Envy Him

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns the Potterverse and will be releasing her newest book in July 2005, hence why we both love her and feel a great deal more pressure to get this done before all our facts change.**

Warnings: Um…language, dark topics, more violence and chocolate muffins.

Chapter 22: I Only Have Eye for You…

Remus shifted in bed and gave a muffled grunt, everything hurt. Not that that was a new experience, after 28 years as a werewolf he was used to everything hurting. What was different was everything was hurting, yet he was in a soft bed next to a warm, soft body. To add to his confusion, everything smelled. This is not to say everything smelled bad, on the contrary several things including the warm, soft body next to him smelled very good. Keeping his eyes closed, Remus sniffed the air and remembered Kate. So that's what she smells like, he thought to himself with a small smile. _Gods, she smells good, too good. I haven't smelled this well in…four years_. He sniffed her again and began to gag at the forgotten scent of lacerations and bruises, nauseated at the thought of what he had done last night.

He let out a small snort, _'last night'_, he thought. After it was all done, Abigail had cleaned him up and had given him some wolfsbane potion and a mild muscle relaxant. After which, he and older witch had held Kate upright as she took her wolfsbane and passed out again. At that moment, he had wished Paige had killed him because he wanted to die. And he was pretty sure that he deserved to die but Kate had just smiled at him as he held her steady and Abigail poured the potion in her mouth.

The potion had been different, evidently Abigail brewed it herself. It was red in color and tasted like bitter cranberries rather than the rancid lupin flowers that made up the potion's base. He remembered Abigail asking about the potion he and Kate had been taking before he fell asleep.

He slowly opened his eyes and saw Kate staring adoringly at him. Remus let out a soft whimper and nuzzled her neck. "I'm so sorry."

Kate kissed the top of his head and he looked up. "What happened?", she asked as she traced the cuts on his face with her fingertips.

Remus blinked. "Paige and I got into an argument.", he said nervously.

Kate sighed and kissed a cut by his eye. "I'm sorry. She should know better.", she sadly stated.

"Don't be. I deserved this and more… I'm so sorry, Kate.", he said, tears forming in his eyes.

She shifted in the bed and held him to her chest, stroking his hair. "Sh… It's ok. I understand.", she crooned.

Remus pulled away. "No, stop trying to make me feel better. I'm horrible, Kate. I'm a monster; I should be locked up or worse. I hurt the most precious thing…"

She held up her hand to his lips. "You made a mistake. I love you, I understand, stop beating yourself up over it."

"Stop being so blasted understanding! How can you understand? You were doing everything in your power last night to not fight me.", he shouted, tears streaming down his face.

"When we were at my father's did you notice he had a foot long scar on his upper left arm? He has a matching one on his chest, and three claw marks raked across his back." Remus gave her a confused look but settled in closer. "Did you notice Abigail only has one eye?", she asked casually as she nuzzled closer to him, taking his hand in hers. "I did that. I was seven when I blinded my godmother and put my father into ICU. And you are now one of only four people who know. So trust me beloved, I understand."

He gave her a disbelieving look but she continued. "After the attack, my Dad refused to see me. He said it was his fault that it had happened. He was afraid he would hurt me and he was ashamed that he couldn't protect me. So he left me with John and Abby because he thought they would be better equipped to deal with me, and after a few months I bonded with Abby. Needless to say, I became very violent when he tried to take me home and away from her."

Remus spoke up. "I'm sorry."

Kate raised her hand. "It is in the past. Nothing can change it, you can only move on and make the world better despite the setbacks."

"Is that why you wouldn't attack?", he said tentatively.

"I learned along time ago to only attack if you are willing to go in for the kill. If you can't make that commitment there is no need to use violence. I play fight with Paige and some of the kids, but that is as far as it ever goes.", Kate gave Remus a wane smile.

"Paige had mentioned an incident…", Remus started but trailed off.

"That was in the defense of a client. And I didn't attack her, I just kept her at bay. That was not my choice, she couldn't keep her temper in check long enough to take the time to think out the situation. Compassion and forethought aren't exactly her strong suits when she is in the field.", she answered matter-of-factly.

"Why would your Dad feel guilty about the attack? It was random wasn't it?", he asked confusedly.

Kate gave a grim laugh. "Oh well, might as tell you everything. I wish the attack had been random. My father is Muggleborn from a poor rural family in Missouri. He was extremely talented though and Dumbledore sought him out to attend Hogwarts. He managed to be sorted into Slytherian without a single member of English Wizarding society knowing until the day after he graduated at the top of his class and announced it to the Prophet." Remus couldn't help himself and let out a chuckle. She squeezed his hand and continued. "After graduating from Hogwarts, he worked for equal rights for Muggleborn, Half-Blood, and Non-human wizards. He then married a Pureblood witch from a prominent family…Needless to say in 1973, he was at the top of Voldemort's list."

She paused for a moment and looked at her hands. Remus wrapped his arm around her. "You don't have to go on, if you don't want to."

"It's alright, you'll need to know eventually." Kate took a deep breath. "I was four when we were visiting England and my mother's family killed her for marrying a Mudblood and bearing him a daughter. Actually, they had planned on killing him but they didn't think of the possibility that she would answer the door. I guess logic isn't a strong point in families where first cousins regularly marry. When I was six, we moved back to Missouri and my father started working in the Magical Creature/Dark Creature Defense League with his best friend John near Kirksville." She started shaking at this point and he pulled her closer to him. "A group of American Purists wanted to gain favor with Voldemort, so they paid a female werewolf from an isolated area to kill him. She was chosen for propaganda reasons; my father's death would have proven that dark creatures show no mercy even to those on their side. Her bonus for a job well done was that she got to keep the child, which was why she agreed to the whole thing."

Kate's eyes glazed over a bit and she began to talk as if she was in a trance. "At the trial the wizard, who had hired her, thought she was going to eat me or some nonsense. She just wanted a child of her own and being an outcast Alpha female, she didn't see any other way. I wasn't supposed to be at the attack site and by being there my father ceased being the prime target. She only bit him so she could get close enough to bite me." She fell silent and the pair just sat there until Kate cried herself back to sleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Moony decided to leave Kate for a little while to search out food for the both of them. He stepped outside the door and was inundated with smells, the most prominent being chocolate and female pheromones similar to how Kate smelled but not quite.

"Abigail?", he asked as he rounded the corner to the kitchen.

"In here, Mr. Lupin.", she called back, poking her head over the counter.

He warily entered the kitchen to see the older witch, pulling something from the oven. "Please call me, Remus. Thank you for your help last night, Mrs.???"

She quickly cast a cooling charm on the batch of chocolate muffins and set a knife to frosting them. She turned to look over the wizard and gave him a warm smile. "Mrs. Blooms. Abigail Blooms, but please just call me Abby. It seems you've made quite an impression on our Kate." Remus paled and held on to the counter to steady himself. "It's alright, dear, I wasn't talking about last night."

He relaxed a little. "I'm terribly sorry about that."

"I'm sure you will punish yourself enough on that point over time.", she said with a laugh and offered him a muffin. Remus took the proffered muffin and gave it an inquisitive sniff.

"I see the potion is working.", she kindly noted, and he cast her a confused look. "I'm glad to see that, English wolfsbane is horrid stuff."

Remus quirked an eyebrow. "How so?"

Abigail frowned. "It isn't poisoned, you know.", she said pointing at the muffin, he complied and took a large bite as she continued. "English wolfsbane has too many extras and not enough to help keep your mind clear. For example, sexual inhibitors, beta blockers, appetite suppressants, and olfactory depressants serve no purpose other than making a lycanthropic wizard compliant, apathetic, tired, unable to easily discern members of his own kind, and overly volatile when confronted with strong emotions."

"Is that why I can smell?", Remus said warily.

"No, you can smell normally now because the potion you took last night didn't have any of that.", she said sternly. "Gods know why Kate was taking such horrid stuff, she usually brews her own. I'm surprised the two of you didn't come to blows sooner."

Remus shook his head. "She said Jack had obtained it for her because she was so busy with work"

Abigail furrowed her brow. "I see.", she said quietly and went about cleaning the kitchen.

The kitchen was silent for a few minutes as Abigail cleaned and Remus ate his muffin. Eventually, he opened this mouth to ask a question but quickly snapped it shut. "Whatever it is you wanted to ask, go ahead. Knowledge is power after all.", she said sagely.

He colored slightly. "Why do you and Kate have a similar scent?", he asked shyly.

The older witch laughed. "You haven't been around very many female werewolves have you? Well, we smell alike because we are both werewolves." Remus nodded his understanding and Abby thrust four muffins into his arms. "Now, take those back to Kate and get some rest.", she gently ordered and bustled out of the room before he could speak.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

An hour after Remus made his way back to Kate's room, Abigail sat cleaning her nails with a dagger in the front room. She was about to give up waiting, when her prey stumbled in the front door.

"Rat-buggering, sparrow-fucking, monkey-fellatiating gits! How dare they?!", Jack cursed to himself as he entered the apartment.

"Good morning, Jack. Rough night?", Abigail asked.

Jack jumped and stumbled backwards, slamming the door shut. "No Abby, luv. Just got arrested, something about disrupting an investigation and improper conduct towards a female officer."

Abigail smiled but it didn't quite make it to her eye. "So when did Bob change the wolfsbane order? I happen to know he only uses Japanese grade from our Canadian supplier."

Jack startled and looked at the werewolf, who was now preening her hair with aid of the dagger's reflective surface. She had her wand strategically placed behind her ear, causing a wave of fear to wash over the pirate. "He didn't, he ordered from the Canadian supplier as always."

"So why has Kate been taking English wolfsbane?", she asked coolly.

"As a Cyclopic lycanthrope, you should know that mistakes happen. We were sent some in the shipment.", he replied nervously.

"Why didn't you return it then? I'm sure the company would have gladly acknowledged their mistake.", she stated boredly.

Jack turned to run and slammed into the wall, where the door had been. It had very inconveniently vanished leaving him trapped. "I figured Kate could use it since we didn't have the facilities to brew it in the apartment.", he stammered.

"And it had nothing to do with what's in it?", she said in a quiet growl.

Jack blanched. "It was just for the sexual inhibitor, so she wouldn't get frustrated and sleep with Lockhart."

"Why would she sleep with Lockhart, other than a severe bout of dementia?", she demanded.

"I have no idea, it was just for peace of mind, a safety precaution if you will, Abby-luv. No harm was meant by it.", he stated, waving his hands about.

"So no harm done?", Abby growled. "You just gave her enough mood altering meds to cause her to explode if an emergency came up. You just put her in danger by rendering her unable to identify unknown werewolves by smell. You've made her weak and dulled her senses, but no harm was done. I'm surprised she even figured out Remus was a werewolf!"

"Well, about that?", Jack said with a slight sway.

"Let me guess, she didn't realize he was a werewolf right away? But then again no harm done.", she growled.

"Look Abby, it was a mistake.", Jack backpedaled.

Abigail let out a low chuckle. "You will never do that again, Jack. In fact, if I ever hear of you switching any potion again, I will keelhaul you using your own ships at Treasure Island during the pyrotechnic spectacular. Savy?"

Jack swallowed hard. "Yes, Ma'am." He turned to leave the room and began to mutter to himself. "Bloody Remus, if he hadn't gone for Kate in the first place, I wouldn't be in this predicament. Stupid git…"

His train of thought was broken, when Abigail slammed him against the wall. "You will not speak ill of Kate's choice and you will not blame him for your mistakes."

"Alright.", he squeaked as her wand pressed against his neck.

Paige stumbled into the living room and saw Abby pinning Jack to the wall. "No more fighting right now! Can we just wait a week, please?", she begged.

Jack looked hopefully at the werewolf. "Yes, Abby can't we all just get along? All I'm saying is give peace a chance!"

Abigail released the pirate, and turned to Paige. "What the hell is wrong with you kids? It's like a dog pit in here." Paige cast her a confused look, before Abigail motioned towards Paige's damaged face. "Do you want me to take care of that for you?"

Paige glared at the woman. "What are you talking about?"

Abigail sighed and conjured a mirror for Paige to look into. "I don't know, you look like you could use a few healing spells or a good coroner."

The animagus blushed and looked sheepishly at the floor. "Yes, please. Justin isn't very good at those." Jack snorted at this proclamation.

Abigail glared at Jack and he backed away, raising his hands. "I didn't touch anyone."

"No, you just saw fit to switch potions.", she growled and began casting healing spells on Paige.

Paige looked confused and swayed a bit. "I was the one that beat up Sirius and Remus. Abby, please tell Remus I'm sorry."

Jack perked up and moved towards the witches. "How come she gets to beat up Remus? If I beat up Remus, you'd send out the bloody brute squad.", he stated indignantly.

Paige sighed. "I did it because of a misguided belief."

Abigail finished her set of spells, making Paige look more human. "Jack, why don't you go away for the next couple of days?", she ordered and the pirate gladly stumbled out the manifested front door. "Paige, do you need anything else?"

Paige swayed a bit. "I need to go to work... I think."

The older witch gave Paige a skeptical look. "Can you make it there?"

Paige thought for a moment. "No, I don't think so. Can you drive me?"

"Yes, dear. Come along, I'll send John over later to check on everyone.", she said in a motherly tone.

"Oh good! Can you have him feed Fido? I haven't seen him in a few days.", Paige mumbled as she staggered out the door and Abigail closed it behind her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius stayed in the guestroom until his hunger drove him to get food. He had to change into his human form to turn the door knob, but he quickly transformed back into a dog to escape the torrent of emotions running through his mind.

He trotted out into the living room and spied some muffins on the surface of the coffee table. Padfoot liked them so much that he ate three before he was sated. He then proceeded to lick the chocolate frosting off half the muffins, before hopping on the couch. He found a comfortable spot on the sofa and curled up, still sad about the previous night's encounters.

A young man sauntered into the living room, tousled black hair running rampant on his head. He pulled his glasses off his face to clean them as he regarded the dog. "Hey boy! Who do you belong to?" He crossed room and scratched Padfoot's head. Padfoot leaned into his hand and Justin scratched harder. "Well, you're friendly, aren't ya', sport? And a handsome fella to boot." He gave Padfoot a final pat on the head and turned to get a muffin, wiping his hand on his pants.

Remus walked into the room and did a double-take at the sight of Padfoot and the boy. "Good morning.", he said with a slight wave. "Um…Who are you?"

Justin looked up and smiled. "Hi, Justin Griffin. You must be Remus.", he said before taking a bite of muffin.

Remus looked between the muffins and Padfoot, stopping his gaze at the dog. "Those muffins had frosting on them earlier."

The boy choked and dropped the muffin. "So I take it he's yours then?", he asked Remus after wiping his tongue on a tissue.

"What makes you think that?", Remus replied as he grabbed a muffin that still had its frosting intact.

"Well, you were talking to him and Paige absolutely hates dogs, I mean really loathes them. And Kate... well, she really isn't much of a pet person, more of a pet once a month to the truth.", he cheerfully joked.

Remus nodded and bit into his muffin. "Good call.", he said in a gruff voice and sat next to Padfoot, who grabbed Remus's muffin and stood next to Justin.

"Snuffles!", the werewolf snapped and Padfoot returned the muffin covered in slobber. Remus looked at the muffin and sighed, setting it on the table. "So why are you here, Mr. Griffin?", he asked.

"I spent the night with Paige.", Justin replied rather proudly.

"Oh, is she your aunt?", Remus asked innocently.

"Hardly, I'm the closest thing to a boyfriend she's got.", Justin retorted.

The hair on Padfoot's back stood on end and he let out a low growl. Justin took a step back. "Is he ok?", he asked as he pointed at Padfoot.

"Snuffles, behave!", Remus barked making Justin jump. "I think you better head out, Mr. Griffin. He gets like this from time to time and it could get ugly."

Justin nodded and headed for the door. "Could you tell Paige I'll give her a call in the afternoon?"

Padfoot started barking menacingly at the boy and Remus nodded at the young man, who left with a quick wave.

Sirius transformed back cursing. "What is he, a bloody twelve year old? Damn blighter. I'd call him a wanker but I strongly doubt his balls have dropped yet."

"Are you quite finished?", Remus snapped.

"No, I'm not bloody well finished! Why the hell did Paige call him?", he growled.

Remus sat on the couch and looked at his hands. "Calm down, Padfoot. We've all been on edge. Is this because Paige rang him last night? Or is it because he looks like James?"

Sirius ignored the question and continued to rant. "Did you smell her on him?"

"Yes, I did, Padfoot. What of it? Are you two together?", he asked patiently.

"What the hell do you mean 'what of it?' And of course we're not together, but I have been sleeping in her bed every bloody night!", Sirius bellowed.

"And how many girls did you do that to in school, Sirius? Paige, has the right to sleep with who she wants unless there is an agreed upon arrangement between you.", He replied sensibly.

"So are you saying that Kate could just go out and sleep with anyone?", Sirius snapped. "I'm sure that Percy fellow would love to."

Remus jumped to his feet. "Kate would never do that.", he said quietly and moved away from Sirius.

"Well, how would you feel if she did? I'll wager you wouldn't say what of it." Sirius barked as he stepped up to Remus.

"No, I wouldn't but it's different for Kate.", he replied in a dangerous whisper.

"Of course, it's different!! It's a little hard to date outside your species. Who would want to shag a bloody werewolf anyway? Especially, a bloody ice queen with the social skills of a blasted field mouse.", Sirius spat, hoping to was enough to get a rise out of the werewolf.

It evidently was enough and Remus punched Sirius in the mouth, knocking him unconscious. Remus sighed and looked out at his friend sprawled across the floor. "You always were one to pick a fight when you felt threatened, weren't you old boy?". He picked up Sirius and propped him up on the couch, taking a seat across from him.

Sirius woke up groaning and clutching his mouth. "Buddy Howl", he mumbled and spit out a tooth.

"Would you like a healing spell?", the werewolf casually offered.

"Huck uff", Sirius growled.

Remus quirked an eyebrow and stood up from his chair. "Suit yourself.", he stated and started heading out of the room.

Sirius launched from the couch and tackled Remus sending them both to the ground. Remus responded by kneeing his attacker in the groin. Sirius seem unphased and headbutted Remus, who in turned clawed at the animagus. Sirius punched him in the side of the head. Remus struggled to push Sirius off him and only managed to knock Sirius on top of him.

Sirius pulled back and headbutted Remus again rendering him unconscious. The animagus slowly stood up and staggered back to the guestroom, locking and warding the door behind him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

John entered the apartment carrying a box of supplies for the evening, where he found a bloodied Remus sprawled across the living room floor. He set the box down and bent down to check the younger werewolf's vitals. Seeing that Remus was just a little roughed up, he moved him to the couch.

He walked down the hall and checked on Kate, who was still sleeping. "Ok, well it wasn't her.", he said to no one in particular. John turned to the guestroom. "Sirius, come out here and wake up your friend.", he stated at the closed door.

"No!", Sirius bellowed back.

"Mr. Black, you are trying my patience and I really don't want to drag

you out.", he responded quietly.

"It's Mr. Evans! And I would like to see you try!" Sirius taunted. John shrugged and returned to the living room.

"Accio door!", he proclaimed sending the door down the hall. "Mr. Black this is the last time I'm going to ask. Now please come out her and wake up your friend.", John said casually.

Sirius sauntered into the living room and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms. "Well, if I wake him up, you won't like it."

"That is a possibility, but I still want you to. Think of it as a test of sorts.", John said in a fatherly tone.

"But I don't want to wake him up!", Sirius pouted.

John chuckled. "Please wake your friend up, Mr. Black?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and gently shook Remus. Remus woke up and rolled off the couch, slamming into the floor, causing the animagus to wince. He crouched down and helped Remus to sit up.

John bent down and helped Remus to his feet. "Go wait in Kate's room.", he said gently.

Remus shook his head. "No, I'm alright. We were just letting off some tension.", he said holding up his hand and swaying slightly. "Why do you have a twin?"

"John can you help me take him to the guestroom so we can talk in private?", Sirius asked.

John nodded and helped Sirius carry Remus to the guest quarters. Sirius set Remus on the bed. "Can I have my door back?"

"No.", John stated nonchalantly and headed back to the living room.

"Bloody werewolves.", Sirius cursed under his breath and cast a silencing charm. He turned back to Remus, who was swaying a bit on the bed. "We haven't fought like this since sixth year. Have we?"

Remus quirked his head to look at Sirius and froze. "My head rattles a bit when I do that."

"I'm sorry, Moony. Unlike last time, I'm not going to be stupid enough to wait a week to tell you that.", Sirius apologized.

"It's alright, Sirius. Not as bad this time.", he said with a weak smile.

"You're right, I'm not as bad off as I was last time. Threatening to make me sodemize myself was a nice touch.", Sirius retorted playfully.

"Ah…yes, those were the days. I guess we're both getting older, this time you apologized and I don't think I can feel anything below my third rib.", Remus replied.

Sirius laughed. "I believe those were my words last time."

"I thought your words were 'it doesn't go around that way'?", he asked with a chuckle.

"What did you expect, you broke my arm. And if I remember clearly my next words were 'Arraghrerrerr!'", Sirius said and rubbed his arm.

"Yes, I was quite surprised that you were fluent in little girl.", he teased.

Sirius laughed loudly and sat next to Remus on the bed, steadying him as he swayed. "The last thing I remember before waking up in the hospital wing was Peter passing out at the sight of me in the hallway.", he paused for a moment trying hard to remember. "No, actually the last thing I remember is Lily crying, which I could never figure out."

Remus sobered. "She was concerned about us. Gods, we were stupid."

Sirius nodded and put a hand on Remus's shoulder. "Are we back to normal, then?"

"Yes... for us at least.", Remus replied, patting Sirius's hand.

Sirius embraced his friend like a brother, causing Remus to whimper. Pulling back as if stung, Sirius winced. "You're having a tough week.", he said and paused for a minute. "Come to think of it so am I."

Remus quirked a wry grin. "Compared to some weeks, this one hasn't been that bad.", he said philosophically.

"Well, I guess you're right. How is Kate?", Sirius asked.

Remus winced. "Still sleeping, I think. How is Paige?"

Scowling, Sirius growled "Apparently, I'm the wrong man to ask about that."

Remus snorted. "Ah…yes, I almost forgot. Did you two fight last night?"

Sirius nodded and responded. "For a girl, she's a good fighter. The bitch doesn't fight fair."

Remus nodded. "I know… I should probably go check on Kate."

"Wait." Sirius begged. "What do you think I should do about her?"

Remus shrugged. "After last night, I think I'm the wrong bloke to ask."

Sighing, the animagus slumped his shoulders. "But I need an opinion.", he stated in a pleading voice.

"I would hear her out before I did anything rash.", he said warily. "You don't know the whole story, maybe there is a logical explanation for all of this."

Sirius nodded and waved him out of the room, wanting to think alone. On the one hand, what she did was horrible. But Sirius couldn't say that he wouldn't do the same for his friends. She had slept with someone else, someone younger with opportunities that life had never afforded him. The fact that Justin looked so much like James was very unnerving to say the least. This, coupled with every other insecurity Sirius had, came out to be a fairly big problem.

He suddenly felt very old and very much out of place. Vegas was too different, too alien, for him to be of much use for the Order. Feeling very alone without Remus, Sirius lay down on the bed and stared despondently out the window.

**AN: Awwww, poor Sirius. I'm horrible to my characters, aren't I? Happy New Year to all, and to all a good night! Oh wait, that's not right… anyway, on with reviews**

**Miss Moony: HAHAHA! Yer funny. Everything will get fixed, though Remus is now shaped like a banana. A really hair banana… but Kate still loves him, and his penis.**

**Luna: Yay! We have (yet another) Kate fan! We have yet another reviewer as well. We love you guys. (I know it's going to take you forever to get to this point, our chapters are long!) Keep reviewing and please don't hesitate to tell us it's crap.**

**Lighting Rain: Remember Zigfield and Troy? Yeah… Lots of ouchiness, but time heals all wounds, unless they kill you first. And then it's just sad. (But you're dead, so you don't care as much)**

**Katrina: We love the crack about all four of Remus. I laughed pretty hard when I read that. Paige did knock the shit out of him, and while he deserved it on some points, she wouldn't have had she gotten the whole story first. Sirius does care more about Remus than he does Paige, keep in mind that they've only known each other a week and he's known Remus for 20 years. Remus and Sirius do have flaws, they are humans, albeit fictional ones. Being human means that you're bound to have them and we wouldn't have our fic any other way.  There's other stuff to come in later chapters that you probably have never seen in any fic before.**

**Also, to your review for 20, that would be horrible to come home to. Remus has Parlow syndrome, you can look up the experiment on the internet to tell you exactly what that is (it was an animal study of sorts on monkeys, pretty interesting, if sad, stuff. Parlo is a physcological theorist. It's called the Monkey Experiment.) Paige didn't really believe what she said, although that is what she was taught, she just said that to get a rise out of Remus and try to make him rethink what he was doing, but mainly just to piss him off.**

**Beautiful Letdown: Sirius did punch Paige, he was reacting to what she had done earlier. Hehe**

**Surfergurl: Paige was protecting Kate by doing what she thought was necessary. She didn't have the whole answer, so things were a bit off. Still, consider it from her angle. This guy that says he loves her friend got mad about her friend dancing in public, treated her like he was her owner and not her lover, and then hurt her very badly. I'd have to say that I would do the same for my friends. So, do feel bad for her and I hope you understand why she did what she did.**


	23. Of Ninjas and Feather Pillows

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is a super genius; we are merely roadrunners that try to borrow her characters.**

**Warnings: Mild language, ****sex****ual situations, drug references and a fluffy goodness chaser for chapters 20-22.**

**A/N: This is the repost for this chapter, sorry for the inconvenience.**

Chapter 23: There's a Bad Moon on the Rise…

Remus entered Kate's room and closed the door behind him. He found her awake and sitting on the foot of the bed looking out the window. "Are you alright?"

"Just thinking.", she replied.

He stepped further into the room. "Are we alright? I mean… I know you said that you understood but…"

Kate sighed. "I don't know."

"I know this has all happened very fast but I do love you, Kate. I know I probably sound rather pathetic considering all that has happened, but I really didn't mean to hurt you and I really want to be with you.", he said longingly.

"I know, Remus. I… I just… I'm afraid. And it's irrational and I know you won't hurt me. I know you love me and I know last night wasn't entirely your fault but…", she replied.

"I promise I will never purposefully I lay a hand on you. I love you, Kate. You are the most precious thing in the world to me, and I hate myself for what I did.", he said sincerely. "You are the loveliest creature, I have ever laid eyes. I would love for you to choose me as your mate, but I know that it is your choice to make. And I know this has extremely insane and chaotic. And I need you to know that I will thank the Gods that I had the honor of meeting you even if you choose to be with someone else, which I really wouldn't blame you for considering what a complete nutter I've been the past couple of days"

"I love you , Remus.", she said turning to face him. "And I have already made my choice, so stop worrying about it."

Remus walked over to her and pulled her off the bed, sweeping her into a warm embrace. "Thank you, I promise to cherish you always and to never harm you.", he said as he kissed the top of her head. "And I normally am a very peaceful person. You know of the four of us, Lily always used to say I was the gentlest soul."

"So why did you and Sirius fight?", she asked sweetly.

"Just a misunderstanding.", he said sheepishly.

"Let me guess, Paige?", she said with a small chuckle. "Most things are usually over her, better social skills and all."

"You heard? Sirius was just being a stupid wanker, he…", Remus stammered out.

"…pushes obvious buttons trying to get a reaction, when he doesn't want to deal with his own feelings because it is easier to pick a fight." Remus opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish a few times, causing Kate to laugh. "Sorry, it's part of the job description. Thank you for defending me, it was very noble of you. And stop fretting, I only heard about minute of your argument before the room feel silent and I dozed back off.", she said lovingly as she pulled him towards the bed. "Come here, it looks as if you could do with some healing spells."

"Why aren't you upset? We fought. He attacked your honor, he shouldn't have attacked your honor, Kate. You should be upset.", he said quizzically.

"He was just pushing your buttons; he knew you would defend me. And it's not like he said anything untrue in his view of me, I'm not exactly a dating queen like Paige or a social butterfly like Rose. If he saw me around our kind, he might have a much different picture of me or he might not.", she said calmly and pushed him on the bed, making him sit down so she could heal him.

Remus took this opportunity and pulled her into his arms, laying his head on her chest. "I think you are the furthest thing from frigid, you are so caring and passionate." Kate giggled as he nuzzled her bosom. "And warm… and soft… and sweet smelling." He started guiding her backwards and pulling up her t-shirt. "And good tasting", he said kissing up her torso. He pulled back and caught his breath. "You'd better stop me, Kate, or I will take off all your clothes and have my wicked way with you."

Kate smiled up at him. "You need some healing spells, beloved.", she said teasingly.

Remus gazed at her through hooded eyes, her words causing his heart to pump harder. "You need to stop saying that, you have no idea what it does to me."

"Saying what, beloved?", she asked coyly.

"Yes, stop saying that.", he growled.

"Beloved? What is wrong with the word beloved, my love?", she asked a little too innocently, batting her eyelashes.

"You are going the right way to being ravished, you know that, Kate?", he drawled.

"Am I, beloved?", she queried licking her lips.

"That's it! I can't be held responsible for my actions.", he declared before pulling her shirt up and raspberrying her stomach, making her burst out laughing. He then ducked his head under her t-shirt and began nuzzling her breasts.

"Remus , get out of there.", she gasped as he nipped at her through the lace of her bra. "I am warning you, you had better heed me now.", she admonished.

Remus placed a rough kiss on her sternum, before roughly nuzzling and cupping her breasts. "Oh heed, oh glorious, wondrous heed. Oh, how I love to take thee.", he proclaimed rolling her across the bed, while Kate laughed loudly. He pinned her to the bed again and pulled himself out of her shirt, casting a regal look at his intended "Oh such heed, you have given me. But I feel I must partake in heed, once more. ", he said before letting out a playful growl and burying his face between her breasts mumbling "Oh heed, wonderful, glorious heed."

"Are you two finished?", they heard John ask from the bedroom door, causing them both to freeze.

"Um…yes?", Kate said meekly and Remus jumped off her.

John walked into the room. "Good, Kate, go tend to Sirius and I will take care of Remus." Remus nodded at Kate and she leapt off the bed. She walked out of the room to the bathroom, where she gathered supplies.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kate knocked on the door jam to the guest bedroom.

Sirius turned to face the door. "It's open, luv.", he said jokingly.

Kate stepped into the room. "I can see that. John said you might be in need of a healing spell or twelve." She moved forward to hand Sirius a vial. "Here this should knock out most of the pain."

Sirius reached for the vial and hissed bringing his arm back down and holding it. "Ow."

Kate stepped closer to the animagus and held the vial to his lips. He took it in his mouth and tilted his head back, drinking its contents. "Thank you.", he mumbled and spat out the vial.

"So where else did Paige get you?", she absently asked as she pulled out her wand.

"I had a good reason.", he quickly yelped, eyeing her wand.

Kate put her wand down. "I'm just going to cast a few healing spells. I promise I'm not going to hurt you.", she said and stepped away from him with her head lowered as if he was a wounded animal.

"Oh, ok.", he said relieved. "You were pulling your wand out and I didn't know what to expect."

She nodded. "It's ok, I'm not going to pull a Paige.", she said lightly.

Sirius sat down on the bed and took off his shirt. Kate started casting healing spells over him beginning with the gash on the side of his head.

"Actually, I started it. I need to watch my temper.", he said solemnly.

Kate chuckled. "That could be said for most of the people in this apartment so don't worry over it too much."

"I won't.", he said. "Kate, who is Justin?"

Kate, who was having some trouble with his shoulder, sighed. "Justin is one of Paige's... lifelines. She calls him when she feels she needs something or someone, and he gives her a laugh or just a warm body to hold on to."

"Hmmm…he's rude.", he stated.

"He's a little abrasive. I'm sure he'll mellow with age, most boys do.", she said gently.

"I'm sure once he reaches ten he'll be a lot better.", he sniped.

Kate uncomfortably shifted, smelling the anger and hurt coming off him. "So what else hurts?", she asked trying to change the subject.

"Does Paige shag him regularly?", he asked, his temper flaring.

"Sirius, anger is a powerful motivator and tool but at the moment it is only serving to keep your wounds from closing so please just let it go. He's a twenty-two year old boy, who still lives with his parents. You are a man, who has braved things that most aurors would wet themselves over. It is not a competition, just let it go.", she pleaded.

"You're right, I have braved things or more appropriately, I've cowered in a corner whenever the dementors came by. Compared to him, I'm a broken old man.", he finished dejectedly.

"Gods, do I know how to pick them. I really like you, Sirius, and I'm sure in years to come you will be a very close and dear friend but at the moment you are just being irritating. Let it go!"

Sirius just looked up at her expectantly and Kate sighed. "Fine. Do you know what a fuck buddy is Sirius?" He shook his head no and she continued. "Paige, only calls Justin when she needs something whether that is a quick fuck or a shoulder to cry on. He doesn't matter to her in the grand scheme of things. He's a toy, Sirius. He's nothing more than an object to be used and then thrown away. She cared enough for you to get upset when you were angry with her." Kate shifted uncomfortably and her voice became filled with remorse. "Justin doesn't even qualify as a fuck-buddy because…because she never gives anything back. He is operating under the delusion that she loves him, but the truth of the matter is that when she's done with him, she will leave him broken without so much as a second thought. Trust me, Sirius, don't envy him.", she ended and let her wand drop to her side, looking far older than her thirty years. "Now kindly just tell me where it hurts?"

"Well, there is one more area…but I don't think that would be appropriate.", he said with a shy smile.

Kate blushed. "Oh."

"Tell your boyfriend he has bony knees.", he stated with a small wince. "And I just about knocked myself silly on his thick head."

Remus cleared his throat from the door way. "Now that's the cauldron calling the kettle black."

"Actually, I'd call you a Lupin.", Sirius said brightly. "You look much improved."

"Ah…yes, John happens to be a fine healer as do you my dear.", he said kindly to Kate, noticing Sirius's improved condition. "But on the topic of lupins, you might want to have a look at this, Kate." He handed her a red vial and a dark purple vial of wolfsbane.

"It's wolfsbane.", she said looking at him as if he'd gone mad.

Sirius shook his head at the colors appearing before his eyes and piped up. "Kate, can I have my door back? I think I had better lay down."

"One minute, Sirius.", she said, inspecting the vials. "Where did John go?"

"He said that he had things to attend to and to tell you that the moon would be split as usual and this stuff is not Scottish, whatever that means.", Remus recounted, noticing that Kate's eyes got very large.

"Not Scottish?" Kate sniffed the vial questioningly. "That fucking weasel! How could he?", she growled.

Sirius quirked his head and stared at the four werewolves in front of him. "I know a family of weasels. They all have red hair and the youngest one is hot."

Remus wrapped his arms around Kate, who was now crying. "How could he have done that? So many things could have gone wrong. What if...", she said visibly paling.

"What did he do?", Sirius asked brightly and started swinging his legs in time with the green fairy sitting next to him.

Remus turned to Sirius. "He switched the wolfsbane potions."

"That bastard!" he said, outraged. He remembered that he didn't know who exactly was a bastard so he turned to Kate. "Who?"

Remus cast a worried glance at Sirius. "Jack."

"Well, that's not very nice of him. Can I have a biscuit? I love biscuits. Well, I like them. Now Peter, he loved biscuits remember that one year we found him humping the tin that Circe Potter sent? James was livid. Hmm… maybe he loved biscuit tins and not the biscuits necessarily.", he pondered.

Kate broke from Remus's embrace and ran over to Sirius. "Sirius, are you allergic to Kava?"

"No, I'm alright. I don't need any caffeine.", he said politely and petted her hair. "Your hair is soft like mine, touch it!", he ordered and bent forward for Kate to stroke his hair.

Remus burst out laughing. Kate turned to look at him. "Has he done this before?"

He was currently on the floor laughing. "Yes, in third year.", he managed to gasp out.

Sirius leaned forward to see what Remus found so funny and fell on Kate. "Oops. I squished you."

Kate helped Sirius off her. "Nothing to worry about.", she said gently before turning to the other wizard. "Remus, I think he might be reacting to the potion I gave him. What did he take in third year?"

"I took Divination and Potions and I took Transig… Transf…McGonagall's class and I took Herbology." Sirius said proudly and fell back on Kate.

She shifted Sirius off her again. "Remus, a little help please?", she pleaded but Remus was laughing too hard to be of much help.

"Their like two big feather pillows aren't they?", Sirius said observationally, poking at her right breast..

Kate blushed. "Padfoot, what herbs did you take in third year that made you feel like this?"

"You called me Padfoot, can I call you Luna?", Sirius asked.

"Yes, you can call me Luna. Just tell me what you took in third year that make you feel like this?", said the mildly irritated werewolf.

"Luna, I don't know, but I'm starting to think I should do it again.", he said helpfully.

Kate turned to Remus again and shook her head in dismay. "Sirius, would you like some Mountain Dew?"

"No, Luna, tap water is fine. You don't need to go all the way to a mountain just to get me some water.", he replied.

Kate bit back a laugh. "Can you help me get some water in the kitchen?"

"Luna, don't you already have some in there?", he responded.

Remus stood up, wiping tears from his eyes. "What can I do to help?"

"Finally", Kate said under her breath. "The stuff that made him loopy, was it supposed to help him sleep?"

Sirius jumped on the bed. "I don't wanna take a nap, Luna!" He started bouncing higher and higher on the bed until he hit the ceiling and fell to the floor. "Ow!"

Remus shook his head. "They were brownies my Mother made to calm me down."

Kate sighed in relief. "Ok, he is having a reaction to the pain killer. We just need to get some caffeine in him."

"Hey Moony, your Mum and I smoked pot once. Then the ninjas on the lawn tried to kill us but we got away. Then she told me that my Dad didn't like Muggleborns because Pureblood witches won't tell you if your hung like a hummingbird.", he said swaying slightly. Remus and Kate burst into laughter as he continued. "Moony, am I hung like a hummingbird?"

Remus tried to control his laughter. "I don't know, Padfoot."

"Luna, would you check for me?", he asked innocently.

Kate blushed. "How about we check that out after we go to the kitchen?"

"Ok", he replied and the trio headed down the hall, stopping only to occasionally pick Sirius off the floor.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus was laughing so hard at the sight of his best friend that he could hardly breathe. "Sirius, you might not want to crawl under the refrigerator.", he suggested, holding his side.

"But I lost my cookie and I think I see some ham!", he replied excitedly, reaching under the appliance. "Luna, can you pick this up? It's getting in my way."

Kate sighed and stepped over the animagus, casting a levitation charm on the fridge. "There you go, Padfoot. Now will you please drink this?", she asked holding out a can of Mountain Dew.

Sirius got off the floor. "Alright.", he said as he took the container. Kate turned away from him to pick up the box of cereal that had fallen off the fridge.

Sirius set down the untouched soda and opened the first cupboard he saw. Pulling a tall white cylinder from the shelf, he removed the lid to find a little yellow knob. He pressed on it with his finger, coating the area around his nose and mouth with nonstick cooking spray. He set it down startled and continued to rummage through the spice cabinet. He found he liked the smell of several jars but cloves were his favorite. This was the one he was currently sniffing, he was so intent on the smell that after inhaling he snorted the powdered cloves covering his muzzle. He jerked back spilling the cloves and knocking over his soda. "Ow… Ow… OW… Bloody OW!", he exclaimed. Kate turned and with a flick of her wand took care of Sirius's clove problem. "Well, that was full.", she sighed. "Are you alright?"

Sirius gave her a watery eyed nod. "That hurt. Luna, what's PAM?"

Kate stifled a laugh. "Non-stick cooking spray. Paige uses it when she bakes things."

"It's greasy.", he observed. "Can I have another Mountain Dew, Luna?"

Kate grimaced. "Let me guess, you didn't drink any before you spilled it?" Sirius nodded and she turned to Remus. "Keep him out of trouble, I need to make a call."

Remus nodded. "I'll do my best."

She patted Sirius on the top of his head and crossed the front room to the dining room, grabbing her cell phone on the way. She dialed her office and waited. "Hello? Yes, can you please connect me to Paige Pierce in the DAS office. Thank you."

Paige picked up her office phone. "Agent Pierce speaking.", she declared.

"Hey Paige, we've had a bit of an incident. Could you please pick up some Mountain Dew or Jolt on the way home?", Kate asked hopefully.

"Why are you and Remus going to do body shots?", Paige teased.

"Nothing that fun, Sirius had a reaction to the painkiller I gave him after he got into it with Remus this morning.", she said frustration coating her words.

"He's just fighting with everyone isn't he?", Paige snapped. "What did they fight about?"

"Sirius was upset about Justin and when Remus tried to calm him down things escalated.", she replied.

"I know, I already got a call from Justin this morning. He said my friend's rabid dog tried to attack him.", Paige declared exasperatedly.

Kate sighed. "I'm sorry to hear that, but it still doesn't change the fact that I have a stoned wizard rummaging through the kitchen. And there are less than four hours to full moon.", she explained.

Paige was quiet for a moment. "I can't Kate. I have things to do. Besides, isn't he still mad at me? After last night, I'd say he would be.", she said softly.

"Paige, I don't know what you two fought about and I understand if you don't want to come into the apartment. But I need to deal with the situation at hand and that situation is a 36 year old ADD chemically altered wizard. Throw a liter through the front door and run, if you have to." Kate growled.

"Well," Paige retorted, "I have a meeting in fifteen minutes on the new lanyards that I just can't possibly miss. I can't get the soda, so go get some yourself."

Kate slammed her cell phone down, smashing it and stalked into the living room. She grabbed the land line and pulled it into the dining room, not paying attention to the exclamations escaping the kitchen.

She dialed John's cell. "John, hi.", she said shakily. "No, I'm ok. Can I ask you a huge favor? Can you get me a Mountain Dew or a Jolt or even just a cup of coffee? Thank you, I will see in a couple minutes." Kate hung up the phone and walked back into the living room, stumbling as she beheld the sight in front of the sofa.

Remus was lying face down on the floor bound in hot pink rope and clad in a pale pink silk and black lace bra and panties set. He was gagged with one of Sirius's socks from the day before. Sirius sat on top of him and surveyed the living room; whilst bouncing up and down, and eating Cheetos. He waved an orange colored hand at Kate. " 'Allo luv, your boyfriend isn't very comfy. Can I bounce on you now?"

"No, Sirius. Why don't you let Remus go?", she asked tentatively.

"Nope, he lost the race. Rules are I get to sit on him.", he declared merrily, bouncing higher for emphasis.

"What race was this?", Kate asked.

"The race from the kitchen to the living room, of course. Can I bounce on you now?", he asked.

"No, Sirius maybe another time. Where are Remus's clothes?", she asked cautiously.

"I thought you might like him like this.", he chirped as he patted Remus's bottom.

"I appreciate the thought but I prefer him in men's clothing. Can you change his clothes back for me?", she asked, stifling a laugh.

"Alright luv.", he replied and Kate let out a sigh of relief. He flicked his wand and Remus clad in nothing but a man's g-string. "Paige bought me one of these. It's men's clothing and you can still see his bum." Sirius turned and patted Remus's bottom. "It's kind of scrawny isn't it?"

"I really like his bottom, Sirius.", she said gently.

"Do you like the knickers? I put little moons on them for you, that way you can leave them up or pull them down and you'll still get mooned. Want to see?", Sirius asked giddily.

Kate chuckled warmly. "They are quite lovely. Thank you, Padfoot."

"Anything for you, Luna.", he said confidently before pulling down Remus's knickers, just as John walked in the front door.

John stared at the animagus, who was currently straddling a naked male werewolf. "What do you think you are doing?", he asked in a fatherly tone.

Sirius beamed at John. "I think I'm showing Kate Remus's bum."

John mumbled a few words under his breath and repaired the guestroom door. He then turned and glared down at Sirius. "Sirius, stop being a dumbass and drink this… NOW!"

"Alrighty then.", Sirius said with a salute, before reaching for the soda. John handed it to him, and steadied the beverage in Sirius's hands.

Sirius drank the soda, while still straddling Remus. After the first few sips, he began bouncing on his friend again, splashing him with cold Mountain Dew. "That is refreshing isn't it, Moony?"

John lowered his voice to a deep growl. "Get off Remus and unbind him.", he ordered. Sirius nodded and got off Remus's back. He sat next to the werewolf and patted his head.

John leaned down and locked eyes with Sirius. "Unbind him now.", he ordered and Sirius swallowed hard, suddenly sobering as the caffeine hit his blood stream.

Sirius threw Remus a guilty glance and burst into gales of laughter. After a few tries, he did manage to unbind him. Remus pulled up his pants, and stood up. But not before Sirius smacked his arse gleefully. "This is priceless, Moony. Do you have a camera, Kate?", he asked the effects of the potion quickly wearing off.

Kate handed Remus a blanket from the back of a chair. "No, Sirius, I don't have a camera."

"Pity.", Sirius said through a yawn. "I think I will have a bit of a lie down then.", he said as he headed down the hall.

John and Kate stared in confusion as Sirius retreated down the hall. "Has he always been like this?", the older werewolf asked.

Remus pulled the blanket tighter around his waist. "No, actually. He's mellowed with age."

Kate giggled at this proclamation and John let out a hearty chuckle. "Well, at least he's consistent. Anyway, I've got a moon to set up for. Kate remember the stuff you've got isn't Scottish so take what Abby put in the cabinet.". With that said, John gave Kate and Remus a nod, leaving the apartment.

Remus turned to Kate. "Not Scottish? Of course the potion isn't Scottish, it's English Wolfsbane. Although, if the potion were brewed in Scotland it would probably be same as if it were brewed in England because of Ministry Regulation."

Kate laughed at her intended. "No, he meant it wasn't Scottish."

"What on earth are you talking about, woman?", he playfully growled.

"It's code, silly. If something is below par, it's not Scottish.", she said coyly before moving towards the hall.

"Really? Well, I'm Scottish does that make me acceptable?", he said in a deep brogue. She nodded shyly and he continued. "So why are good things Scottish, lass?"

"One of the older members of our clan, developed a few little eccentricities when he hit 180. He started going on and on about the virtues of everything Scottish. So now everything that isn't wonderful is simply not Scottish or in his words everything is either Scottish or crap.", she said with a giggle.

"You know Kate, I really don't see why that is so funny. Lots of wonderful things come from Scotland, perhaps he is just nostalgic.", he said slightly concerned.

"Yes, that would be the case normally, but he came to the United States from Bombay and has never visited the U.K..", she said stifling a laugh.

"Tsk… Such negative language about Scotland from such a lovely mouth, I think I need to show you some of the virtues of Scottish men.", Remus admonished, adopting his brogue once more and closing the distance between them.

"I was just relaying information.", she said gently, wrapping her arms around him.

"Ah yes, information. What is the difference between a clan and a pack?", he asked in his best professorial tone and then kissed her deeply.

She broke away and caught her breath. "A pack has one alpha pair to lead it. A clan has several pairs that lead in a council. And a tribe is made up of multiple clans."

"And Vegas has a clan?", he asked, directing her toward the bedroom.

"Yes, Vegas is a clan.", she said gently.

"Hmm...Very interesting. "How much time do we have before we have to leave?"

"We need to be there in three hours.", she said calmly before doubling back to the kitchen and grabbing the potions. "Almost forgot.", she said as she entered the room and handed him his vial. They downed their potions and Kate banished the empty containers to the kitchen. She then crossed to her dresser and took out a small vial of oil. She gave Remus an impish smile. "This will make transformation a lot smoother tonight, but you'll have to something you don't like doing."

"And what would that be?", he said lecherously

"Let Moony be in control through the transformation." Remus opened his mouth to protest. "I know it sounds like a really bad idea, but between the potion and the other wolves, everything will be fine. And the change will be a lot less traumatic. Do you trust me?", she asked.

Remus nodded and whispered "Yes".

Kate stood in front of him and dabbed the oil on his forehead and mumbled something he just couldn't make out. She repeated the process on herself and sat on the bed. "Do you want to take a nap?" Remus yawned and nodded.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Moony snorted as he rolled over to lift himself off the ground. _Wait a minute…these aren't my paws_, he thought as he fell back on the bed, face first into some pillows. Rolling over on his side, he saw his intended still resting in human form. After he shifted again she began to stir, then stretched back on all fours next to him.

Never one to miss an opportunity, Moony mounted Luna only to be thrown off and glared at. Moony tried to make the appropriate noise but it was too high and sounded squeaky, causing her to chuckle. "Talking usually works better in this form.", she said sagely before gracefully bounding off the bed. She then began pulling off her clothes with an air of distain. "Why she likes being confined I will never know.", she growled as she threw off her bra.

Moony stared at the creature in front of him. "Kate?", he asked quizzically.

Luna chuckled and turned to face him, naked as the day she was born and totally unashamed. "Some call me that. My family calls me blue-eyes. The cat and dog call me Luna.", she said as she loosened her hair from its bonds and shook her head, letting her hair frame her face in wild curls.

"I've seen you.", he said, cautiously standing up. She nodded and crossed to a box in the corner; pulling out two robes and tossing one to him. "What is this for?", he asked.

"You'll be cold until moonrise and then cold again at sun up.", she simply stated.

Moony nodded and started removing Remus's clothes. After he had changed into his robe, he glanced at her and let out a low whine that still didn't sound right. "Do you agree?", he asked.

"That depends on how we get along.", she said curtly.

Moony dashed towards her and moved to pounce on her. She dodged and swiftly pinned him to the floor. "If you want docile, I suggest you find yourself a nice Beta or perhaps even a human. Now get ready.", she growled.

He gently flipped her over so that he straddled her hips. "I have no intention of hurting you, but I'm not going to let you push me around. I am yours because I choose to be. Now, are you mine?", he growled back and then licked from the base of her neck to her earlobe. He snorted at the fact that his tongue wasn't well suited for the task.

Luna thrust her hips up and pushed him off her. Standing, she threw the robe on. "We will be late.", she said briskly.

"What do I have to do?", he asked, frustrated at her behavior.

"Show me what you truly are.", she said with a strange mix of authority and mischief, sweeping out the door.

**A/N: Well that is it for today's exciting installment of Las Vegas is a Scary Place. We worked hard to make it less violent and angsty, though I must admit I got a bit misty when Sirius couldn't reach the cookie. **

**As always thank you reading our lovely piece of brain crack, and a very special thank you to our reviewers. First in general response to everyone, yes, Jack is currently in line to visit the proctologist to help with his breathing problem. For some reason, he can't get enough oxygen at the moment. And he will probably get a little karmic payback. So now on to the individual responses: **

**MissMoony16: As you can see we did update, woohoo! And as far as banana's go, I have no idea. Hornhead was in charge of the reviews last chapter and she just found it funny to make Remus shaped like a banana, I wish I knew why. Actually, strike that, I really don't think I want to know why. **

**Katarina McGonagall: Thank you for the review as always. I'm glad you are becoming addicted to our fic (hehehe) and that you liked Abby, she took a little while to develop and this is her third incarnation.**

**Jen: Why of course Monkey-fellatiating. Where did you think monkey juice came from? Anyway, feel free to dislike anything about the story, we fought amongst ourselves over the last couple chapters. Thank you for the great reviews. **

**Surfergurl16: Yes, poor Sirius. We feel the same way, but things can only get better right? Thanks for the review. **

**TheBeautifulLetdown : Yes, violence and random acts of people. How do we do it? Why do we do it? Umm…I don't know. But thanks for the review. **

**And finally, **

**Darth Gilthoron: Thank you for reviewing chapter 16. Hmm...Don't like the mudblood mafia? Well, that is fine. Really, it is. And if a black van with men in Italian suits and thin ties follow you a bit, just ignore it. They will go away eventually (j/k). Thank you for the male input, Hornhead is absolutely thrilled that you like Paige. **

**But on to a bigger matter or smaller matter, Sirius's measurement. Yes, 23cm or 9 inches is a bit on the large side and really isn't probable, though, it is possible with .1 of the male population measuring 23cm or more while erect according to a recent study out of the University of California, San Francisco. The current largest functioning penis is twelve inches and the largest penis recorded of a native of the British Isles is 10 ½ inches. Most women can accommodate up to a 9 ½ inches or 24 cm long penis, an excess in length simply means that not all of it will be used in the sexual act. That being said (catches breath), men have been known to exaggerate and Hornhead wanted choose that number as his response. (rereads informative blurb) Gods, I need to stop teaching the human sexuality sections of my sociology classes. Thank you very much for your review, it made me really think out my reply. **

**So that's all for tonight. The next installment will be out in 3 to 5 days. Happy New Year!! Prof. Pendragon. **


	24. I Can't Compete With That

**Disclaimer #1: J.K. Rowling set the framework, which we are playing with so we thank her and beg her not to sue. **

**Disclaimer #2: No werewolves or Animagi were harmed in the writing of this chapter. **

**Warnings: Sexual situations, nudity, references to magical rituals…**

Chapter 24: It's Not Polite to Point.

Sirius sat cross-legged on the ground near a Joshua tree; looking almost as bedraggled as he did the day he fled Azkaban. He was covered in cuts and scratches, caked in mud, and thoroughly exhausted. He started pulling cactus spines out of his hands, wincing occasionally. He glanced over and saw a pair of teenage girls giggling together as they stared quite obviously at certain parts of him. He blushed furiously as he dropped his hands down block their view, making them giggle even harder.

"Why are you naked?", a voice queried behind him. He turned around to see Paige staring down at him, his clothes in her hand.

"Give me those, these girls can see my private bits!", he demanded.

Paige pulled the clothes from his reach. "Didn't your mother teach you any manners? What's the magic word?"

Sirius grinned as he replied. "Accio!" The clothes now in his grasp, he tried to shimmy into them where he sat. That was taking too long, so he stood up with his pants around his thighs and promptly lost his balance, falling very ungracefully into a sticker bush. The girls and Paige started laughing as he yelped. They all rushed forward to help him up.

One crouched down, pulling on his arm to help him up. However, she slipped on the gravel and landed on her butt right in front of him. Looking up at him, she smirked. "Gosh, you're big for a human.", she blurted out.

Paige burst out laughing as Luna walked up behind the girl. "Laura, how are we supposed to treat our allies?", she said quietly.

Laura gave a guilty smile. "I was being nice, I said it was big.", she said as she pointed at the topic of conversation.

Sirius hid behind Paige, who was laughing hysterically. "Would you pull these out? They itch like mad."

Paige glanced down over her shoulder at his crotch. "Maybe, why don't' you walk over and see if Remus will do it?"

Sirius looked over at Remus, who was helping to get people organized to leave. He gave Paige a pained expression. "You saw what he did to me last night, I don't want to trust him to fix my bum.", he said.

This caused the girls to burst into another fit of giggles. "I'll help you, Sirius." Laura said.

The other girl piped up, "Yes, Sirius, can I fix your bum?", she said with a coy smile and a wink.

A tall, muscular boy with black hair heard her and stalked over. "Maddy! You know better than that.", he reprimanded.

"Sorry, Clayton, it's just so hard to resist sometimes.", she replied sweetly.

Clayton stared at the naked animagus for a moment and then walked up to Paige and Sirius. Putting his arm around Sirius's waist, he winked and said suggestively, "She's right you know. Why don't we go someplace private, and I'll fix your bottom?"

Sirius's eyes went wide. "Well, um, you're a nice bloke and all, but, ah, you're too young for me and I like Paige.", Sirius stammered as he tried to break free.

Moony walked over and gave an admonishing look to Clayton. "Young man kindly get your hands off him."

Clayton nodded and released Sirius, who breathed a sigh of relief. Moony slung his arm possessively around his shoulders. "He's my bitch, get your own.", he lisped, causing all assembled werewolves to howl with laughter. Moony then winked and walked away.

"Aren't you going to help me?", Sirius cried after him.

"Um…No, I might have but the dirty sock was a bit much.," he called back.

Sirius pouted and stepped closer to Paige. "Would you please help me?"

Paige shook her head, "I don't want to see that view right now."

Sirius looked to Luna and back at Paige. "Please?", he pleaded to Paige.

Luna shooed the girls and Clayton away. "Sirius, would you like some help?", she asked kindly.

Paige sighed. "I'll do it.", she said as she waved Luna away. She turned him around and started pulling stickers out one by one, hiding a grin as Sirius winced. After about the sixth one he spoke up. "Couldn't you just use magic?"

Paige pulled out her wand and the rest disappeared. Sirius sighed in relief. "Thank you.", he said as he turned around and saw Paige walking away.

He pulled up his trousers and hurriedly buttoned them before running after her. "Hey, I'm not finished talking to you.", he said and Paige walked faster. Sirius jogged and caught up. He put a hand on her arm. "Hey, I said I'm not finished."

Paige pulled away, and kept walking. "I don't have time right now, Sirius. I have things I have to get done. I don't have time to listen to you.", she replied, hoping he would just go away.

He didn't, though, he kept right after her. "What do you need to do? I can help.", he said. Paige didn't answer and he grabbed her forcefully. "Let me help you.", he commanded.

Paige pulled a small tube of healing salve out of the pocket of her sweatshirt and shoved it at him. "Here, go see if anyone need some and put on them if they do.", she growled and yanked her arm back before stalking away.

Sirius looked between the tube and the remaining three people. He offered, was politely refused, and went back after Paige. "What else can I do?"

She looked around and back up at Sirius. "Everything is done, so we can go home now."

He nodded. "Good, now you and I can talk." Paige scowled and Sirius stepped nearer in case she tried to leave again. "What is the matter, Paige? Why are you so reluctant to talk to me?"

She shook her head and looked away. "Nothing is wrong, Sirius. Why do you insist on talking?"

Sirius furrowed his brow and put a hand on her arm. "I just wanted to talk to you about some things.", he faltered, not knowing what to say next.

"What, Sirius? What do you have to say to me? After hurting your best friend and the way you acted to Justin yesterday morning, I think I want Kate and Remus around when you finally talk to me."

Sirius glanced over at Remus, who was deep in conversation with Clayton. "Have you apologized to him yet?" Paige nodded and Sirius continued "Did he accept it?" Again, she nodded. "Well then, I won't be mad. As for Justin, the arrogant little berk had it coming."

Paige saw Luna walking up and waved her away again. "What did you want to talk about then?"

"I dunno… I wanted to say that I was sorry, and that I hope it didn't do much damage.", Sirius replied sheepishly.

Paige scoffed and crossed her arms. "Well, I got some strange looks but I'm fine now." Sirius flinched but Paige didn't stop. "My eye is almost back to normal and you practically can't see the swelling in my cheek any more." He moved to speak but Paige cut him off. "But you know what? I don't blame you, I deserved it.", she admitted and looked down at the ground.

Sirius pulled her into a hug and kissed Paige's forehead. "I shouldn't have done that, luv. I just got so angry and …"

Paige pulled away and looked toward the gate. "Everyone is gone, let's go home."

Sirius looked around at the quiet landscape and heard a crack as Paige disapparated.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Moony and Luna stumbled down the hallway after apparating back to the apartment. Luna entered the bedroom and set a small, sealed clay jar on her dresser. She removed her robes and hastily tossed them to the floor, before crawling naked into bed.

Moony went to the guestroom and quickly gathered Remus's things, moving them into Luna's room. He closed the door after setting everything down and began shedding his robes. He climbed into bed next to his intended and the pair quickly nodded off, enjoying the comfort of the bed and each other.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paige entered the apartment and went directly to her bedroom, pausing only to look for her cat. Fido was nowhere to be found, so she assumed that Jack had just let him out again. She locked herself in her room, cursing the day she decided it was a good idea to move in with the pirate.

Exhausted, she peeled off her clothes and happily went to bed. Paige reveled in the peace of the moment, falling asleep the minute her head hit her pillow.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius got out of his much needed shower, feeling much recovered from the paces Moony and his new friends had put him through the night before. He hummed to himself as he combed his hair and brushed his teeth.

Surveying his reflection, he decided he liked this new clean cut look. _Yes, _he thought. _It does seem to suit me. I'd even say I look rather stunning. The eyes are a little off and I'm a bit thinner, but I've still got it!_ Sirius struck a pose and smiled at his reflection in the mirror. He then headed to go show himself off to Paige, sauntering out to her bedroom.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paige woke up to an insistent rapping on her door. She turned over, saw that she had only slept for half an hour and let out a groan. She grudgingly crawled out of bed and slumped into the door. "Who the hell is it?", she asked.

"Can I please come in, luv? I really want to apologize and make it up to you.", she heard from the hall.

She grimaced and looked to the ceiling. "Sirius, I really need to sleep. Can we do this later?"

Everything was quiet for a minute. "Please? I really just want to straighten everything out before I go to bed.", he stated. "I won't be able to sleep, if you still hate me. All I need is to know that you forgive me and I'll be happy again."

Paige opened the door a little and gave him a half-smile. "I don't hate you, Sirius. I can't, you have an annoying ability to be intensely likeable."

Sirius pouted back. "So, you like me?"

"At the moment.", she responded and beckoned him into the room. "Didn't you think you might need clothes today?"

Sirius glanced down at his towel clad form. "Actually, I thought I'd be more irresistible like this.", he admitted sheepishly. Paige quirked an eyebrow and nodded. Sirius, in return, flexed as he struck a pose. "What's the matter, luv? Don't you think I'm sexy?"

Paige shrugged and started giggling when Sirius's little friend started peeking out of the little towel around his waist. 'Oh, I guess so. Guys in hair towels are always a hit at bachelorette parties."

Sirius looked down and back at her. "Oh look! I think he likes you!", he said and grinned as Paige started laughing. "Now, about my apology…"

Paige shook her head at him. "No, it was all my fault the other night. I will go on record as saying that you were a little rough on Justin, though. Are you mad at me?"

"At first I was, but then Kate told me about him.", he responded and started dancing around the room.

Paige watched in amusement. "Oh? What did she tell you? Nothing good, I'll bet. She doesn't like him."

Sirius tried to shimmy like he saw the girls do at the faire and replied, "I now know that he's an auror, lives with his parents, and likes dogs. He was quite a nice fellow until he started talking to Moony. Actually, I almost feel bad for the guy, being in love with you and all." He hid a smirk, noticing that Paige let out a small squeak and her eyes widened. "Come on, doll, dance with me."

Paige protested as Sirius took her hands and forced her to dance. "No, Sirius. Hey! That's…No, I don't want to dance!", she yelled and laughed.

Sirius pulled her close and kissed her cheek. "So, I was a stupid bastard and I'm sorry. Do you forgive me?"

Paige nodded and stroked him to a full erection. She looked down at it and back up at him. "Yes, I do. Although, I have to say I'm glad you're not really nine-and-a-half inches, that's a lot to handle. Seven-and-a-half is much better."

Sirius blushed and caught her hands in his. "When did you figure this out?"

"I've known all along that you lied. I wasn't totally sure how much shorter you were, but I knew.", Paige replied and Sirius's face fell. "Seven and a half is a good size, average length is five and a half."

Sirius looked at her, confused. "But we all compared in seventh year, after Lily said James wouldn't possibly fit." Paige stifled a laugh and he continued. "James was six inches, Peter was four, I'm seven and a half and Remus is eight and a half! I can't compete with that!"

Paige smirked. "Well, it sounds like the three of you are nicely hung.", she stated and sobered. "Really, though, I need to be honest about something. I haven't apologized to Remus yet. I just told you I did because I wanted you to leave me alone."

"What? Why would you want that? I mean, I know hitting you upset you and all but…", Sirius queried.

Paige sighed. "Sirius, that's exactly why. I was mad and I wanted to be left alone. Surely, you can understand that." The look on his face said otherwise and she elaborated. "When I'm mad, I don't want to be cheered up. I want to be left alone so I can sort things out for myself."

Sirius nodded and moved his hands to her lower back, suddenly remembering his earlier excitement. Paige stroked him again, sending a shiver through him. He moved his hands lower, cupping her bottom, and gave her a soft kiss.

"So, I guess that means we forgive each other?", he asked, chuckling softly.

Paige regarded him thoughtfully for a moment. "I think we do.", she replied before laying her head on his chest. She thought back to the other night. "Sirius, can I ask you a question?"

He grinned. "Just did, but I'll allow another one."

Paige made a face at him. "Smartass. My question that I have been so gracefully granted needs a serious answer."

"That was a Sirius answer. Who else would you be talking to?"

Paige gave him an admonishing glance. "Really, I want a truthful answer. Did you mean it the other night when you said you were starting to care for me?", she asked, brow furrowed.

Sirius gave her an embarrassed smile. "Yes, I care for you as a friend. Since I've seen what a loyal person you can be, your friendship would mean a lot to me.", he said softly and looked at the floor.

Paige tipped his chin up, and placed her hand on his cheek. After he hesitantly met her eyes, she said "You are so sweet, you know that? You definitely have my friendship."

Sirius's face lit up. "Really, luv? That brings my total up to three.", he blurted out in relief. She knitted her eyebrows, making him realize what he had just said. "Um, forget that. Anyway, could you do something for me?"

Paige gave a sad smile. "Anything, just ask."

Sirius gave her a mischievous grin and suddenly swung her over his shoulder. Paige shrieked and beat her fist on his back. He chuckled and patted her bottom before starting out into the hall. He set her down in front of Kate's door and put his hands on her waist. "Apologize to Remus, please. I feel like I'm betraying him by talking to you before he forgives you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Much to his delight, Remus woke up to find himself naked and entwined with an equally naked Kate. He smiled as she shifted in her sleep and her breast pressed into his chest. Adjusting to make himself more comfortable, Remus noticed that he felt wonderful; alive, energized, and very aroused. Something that was only compounded by the way Kate's body pressed against his. She shifted again rubbing his stiff member with her thigh.

Remus sucked in a breath, and counted backwards from fifty. When he was finished, he glanced down at his groin which was obscured by the way Kate had weaved her legs around him. _To bad I'd have to wake her up to take care of you in the privacy of the bathroom, _he thought at his erection. Kate shifted again and her thatch of curls dusted the head of the source of his current distress. _Gods, Kate are you trying to kill me, _he thought.

He glanced over at the clock on her dresser and saw the jar, images from the night before began to flood his mind. _The sense of belonging and accomplishment after finally winning her approval after several hours of courting her. The joy of running through the desert in an actual pack. The comfort of waking up in human form, protectively tucked around her. _And the last memory, the one that was clearer than crystal and made his whole body tingle.

_A clan elder had lead them into an outcropping of stone. She turned to Kate. "Do you freely give yourself to be his mate?"_

_Kate turned to him. "Yes, I am his." _

_The old crone turned to him. "Do you freely give yourself to be her mate?" _

_He had responded. "Yes, I am hers." _

_The elder then handed Kate a dagger made of bone. "Give but an ounce of blood to the other as you give yourself." _

_Kate took the dagger and made a small incision over her heart. The crone caught the blood in the jar and handed the dagger to Remus, who mimicked Kate's actions. _

_When he was finished the crone healed their wounds and sealed the jar. Her mate, a wizard that appeared older than Dumbledore, apparated beside her. She then handed the jar to Kate and placed Remus's hand on the stopper. "Your intention has been cast out into the world. If you wish to proceed, you both know the last step. Love transforms all things, if you chose to solidify your bond open this jar together the next morning at dawn. If you do not chose that path, bring it back on the next full moon so its contents may be returned to the earth.", the old crone said before her mate handed Kate and Remus their robes. The ancient alpha pair then apparated away. _

Remus blinked and tore his gaze away from the jar. He looked at Kate and then down at tiny silver scar on his chest. "Well, that was far easier than I was led to believe.", he said out loud causing Kate to stir. "Good morning, dearest.", he said looking at her intently with a hint of mischief in his eyes.

Kate gave a sleepy sigh. "Mmm…Beloved.", she murmured before twisting out of his grasp and burrowing under the covers.

"Come on, now. This is no time to lay slug-a-bed.", he playfully chastised as he pressed himself against her.

"Sleepy.", she mumbled and pulled away.

"No, all the pieces are finally in place and you don't get to sleep. I've waited patiently for this and there is no point putting it off any longer.", he argued playfully. Kate simply dived deeper into the pillows and blankets. "Kate, this is the time for mating not sleeping.", he said as he pulled the blankets off the bed.

"Remus, no.", she whined. "Paige and Sirius might hear us and I'm sleepy and cold.", she pouted, reaching for something to cover herself with. "I just want to sleep, I don't want to deal with them this morning.", she protested. He ran his hands up her legs massaging her inner thighs. "Remus, knock it off. You haven't been waiting that long."

"Yes, I have. I have been waiting for an eternity.", he purred before kissing behind her knee.

"You have been waiting seven days, you can give me another ten minutes…Please?", she said burying her head under the pillows. Remus sighed and placed a blanket over her and she drifted back to sleep.

Dutifully, he propped himself up on some pillows and waited, staring adoringly at his soon to be mate. Kate peaked out from under a pillow. "Why are you staring at me?"

'I'm not staring at you.", he said glibly.

"Yes, you are. Stop staring at me, while I'm sleeping.", she mumbled, before ducking under the blanket.

Remus gave a contented sigh and Kate peaked out of her nest. "What?"

"Nothing, dearest. Just remembering this morning, how you agreed to be mine.", he said longingly.

Kate smiled at him. "Yes, and you agreed to be mine, which means you'll let me sleep."

He let out a playful growl and pounced on her. "Mine and since you are mine, I feel that you don't need to sleep.", he said pinning her to the bed.

She quickly reversed the move and kissed the tip of his nose. "Mine and since you are mine, I feel that you should want me to sleep.", she said laying on top of him.

Remus lifted his hips and brushed the head of his penis against her curls. "Vixen! You're wet!", he exclaimed as he reversed their position again. "You naughty werewolf, you're excited too.", he teased as he captured a nipple in his mouth.

"I am not…oh, gods.", she said as he swirled his tongue around the little point and gave it a gentle suck, he let go with a small 'pop'. "Remus, I really want to but I'm not comfortable doing this with all the people in the house. Maybe it would be better if we just slept for a while?"

He moved up and captured her lips in a passionate kiss. He broke the connection and began to playfully sprinkle kisses on her face, neck and shoulders. "No, it wouldn't. I want you, you want me. We are both ready for this. Please Kate, just forget about everything except you and me. We are the only ones that matter at this moment, they aren't here. Please just forget about everything and let me pleasure you. Let me show you how much I want you."

Kate looked deeply into his eyes and captured his mouth in kiss. "I love you.", she whispered in his ear and began to place kisses along his neck as his hands ran rampant along her body. The pair froze at the sound of a gentle rap on the door.

"Ignore it and they will go away.", he reassured her before moving downing her body and recapturing one of her nipples with his mouth. The rapping started getting louder and slowly grew into a pounding noise.

"Stay right there, dearest. I will be right back.", Remus said with a sigh and walked to the door wrapping a spare sarong around his waist.

He opened the door to find Paige clad in her bra and knickers standing in front of him and Sirius clad in a towel looking on from across the hall. "Yes?", he asked helpfully.

Paige looked up at the half-dressed and very disheveled werewolf. "Remus, I'm so sorry. I was just protecting Kate, and I didn't understand."

He lifted up his hand, signally her to stop. "I completely understand. Thank you for the apology. No harm done...Have a lovely morning, Cheerio.", he said gently and closed the door.

Paige quirked an eyebrow at Sirius. "What a fruit loop."

Sirius stared at the door in confusion. "I think you'd better try again, that didn't sound convincing."

Paige sighed. "You do realize that he's probably trying to sleep? I'll try again later, obviously he simply isn't ready to accept my apology.", she said with a yawn.

He cast her a pleading look. "Do it now, please? Last time I owed him an apology, I waited a week. Remus broke my arm, knocked out three of my teeth, and gave me two black eyes. Apologize now before he gets that mad again."

Paige rolled her eyes and knocked again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus tossed off the sarong and returned to the bed. "Now that that is taken care of, where was I?", he said wickedly and trailed his tongue clockwise over her areolas, giving each nipple a quick flick with his tongue as he would alternate between her breasts. "Oh yes, now I remember.", he chuckled.

Kate arched into his ministrations and gave a quiet moan. "Oh Remus, that feels so good."

He smiled and moved to kiss down her abdomen. "I love you, dearest. I love you so much, I can't seem to put it into words.", he said before the knocking started again. "Ignore it and it will go away.", he said as he kissed her solar plexus.

The knocking only grew louder, causing Remus to growl. He jumped up and hastily tied his sarong back on. Throwing open the door he stared down at Paige. "What?!", he snapped.

Paige looked sheepishly up at the werewolf. "You didn't let me finish. I'm so sorry and I hope you won't stay mad at me for long. But I really didn't understand what was going on. Do you forgive me?"

Remus sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Paige, really it's fine. It doesn't matter. It's in the past, we just need to move on and remember you're not here.", he said a little too quickly and closed the door.

Paige gave a confused look to Sirius. He shrugged and she angrily pounded on the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus smiled apologetically at Kate. "No worries, dear one. I think they won't be bothering us again this morning." He moved to unknot his sarong and the knocking started again. He turned around and opened the door. "What is the matter, Paige? I forgive you, now please just go away.", he pleaded.

Paige tapped her foot and looked up at him. 'What do you mean I'm not here? You're still mad at me, aren't you?"

"No, Paige I'm not mad at you.", he said trying to keep his temper in check. "I'm just rather busy at the moment, so I will talk to you in a few hours.", he calmly stated, before quickly closing and locking the door.

Paige turned to leave but Sirius grabbed her arm. "So how long will you be out of work once Remus breaks your arm? He's not happy, please try again."

She shook her head and knocked on the door yet again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus turned to look at Kate and was distracted by yet another knock. He turned to yell at the animagus but Kate beat him to the door. She motioned for him to sit down and gently opened the door. "What do you need, Paige?"

Paige looked up to see Kate clad in a bed sheet. "Sirius won't let up until I get a happy answer out of Remus."

"Well, I'm doing my best to get a happy answer but you keep interrupting.", she replied, blowing a stray strand of hair out of her eyes.

Paige swallowed hard. "What?"

Kate sighed and stepped into the hallway closing the door behind her. "Remus is not mad at you. He forgives you, he's just really frustrated at the moment. And if you interrupt again he will more than likely kill you and I will help."

Paige visibly paled. "This is like that one time with me and Xavier and you kept knocking because of work, isn't it?"

"Yes."

Sirius stumbled forward as Paige dragged him back to her room. "Condoms are on the top shelf of the medicine cabinet. I'm going to my parents…Bye.", she said in a rush before closing her bedroom door.

**A/N: Aw…Poor Remus, no lemony goodness yet…maybe next chapter. Thank you for reading thus far and we promise there will be lemons soon. **

**(Instant message from Moonilicious)**

**Remus: Did you mean what you just put in the author's note? You're not just having me on? **

**Prof. Pendragon: Yes, there will be lemons soon. **

**Remus: Are you sure? You've been leading me on for the past 23 chapters, and the most I've gotten out of this deal is a little manual stimulation. I'm going to get a bit cross with you, if something doesn't happen soon. **

**Prof. Pendragon: Yes, I'm sure. You will get some. **

**Remus: And they will be fan fiction based lemons? You're not going to just have Jack got to the grocers, buy actual lemons, and throw them at me? **

**Prof. Pendragon: Yes. **

**Remus: Yes, they will be fan fiction based lemons or yes, they will be actual lemons? Good grief, woman, I need to know so stop being cryptic and just bloody well tell me. **

**Prof. Pendragon: Chill out. You will be getting some quality time with Kate. And I have to log off now because …um…I need to put a sock in a toaster and jam on a magnet.**

**(Logs off)Gods, he's neurotic at times. Thank heaven for Eddie Izzard lines, or I'd never be able to escape. (Sighs) Well, now that that is settled, on to reviews. **

**Surfergurl16: Yes, Sirius is great when he is stoned and Remus shall have revenge. Thank you for the review. **

**Katarina McGonagall: Well, sorry we didn't go into too much detail about the full moon adventures. What happened will come out in bits and pieces over the next few chapters, I can tell you Moony was very sweet to Luna in a wolfie-sort-of way, made lots of new friends, and had a bit of fun at Padfoot's expense. And things are looking up for our crew, Yay! Thanks for the review and I forgot to mention last time. Nice work spotting the wolfsbane and the secret of the meat will be revealed in good time. **

**To those of you that are interested, whoever guesses the origin of the meat correctly first will get to submit a scene idea/chapter idea for the next story with Paige and Kate. And we promise to do that scene/chapter within reason (i.e. we won't kill off major characters, though we have no problem causing Jack incredible amounts of pain).**

**And that's all. Stay tuned for our next exciting installment. As always, reviews are welcome and make us write faster. Thank you to all our reviewers for helping us to reach 100 reviews so quickly, it makes us feel loved. Also my apologies if I offended anyone with my dissertation on penis size, I promise to try to never do that again but I am a bit of a geek so it's really hard sometimes. --Good Afternoon, Prof. Pendragon. **


	25. He Had a Big Head

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling created the Potterverse and Remus Lupin for the entertainment of millions of children. On the other hand, I borrowed him and his world for a chapter worthy of a penny dreadful, lust in the dust, bodice ripper. Oh well, I guess I'm not the better person. **

**Warning: Sexual situations, naughty werewolves and a writer with a really twisted sense of romantic humor. **

Chapter 25: Mating for beginners…

Kate stepped back inside the room, closing the door behind her. She cast a shy smile at Remus, who was admiring her approach towards the bed. "All taken care of.", she said as she sat next to him and dropped the sheet.

He took a deep breath and stared at her chest for a moment. "Good.", he stated before pulling his gaze away. He kissed the top of her head and wrapped his arms around her. He sat holding her for a moment and gave a nervous laugh. "I have been thinking and I believe we need to talk about what we are going to be doing."

"Hmm?", she inquired, while kissing down his chest. She captured his nipple, causing him to groan. He pushed her away. "What's wrong, beloved?", she concernedly asked.

"Kate, I really don't want to hurt you.", he said glancing from his erection to her lap.

"Oh! I guess you have a point.", she said staring at his length. "Do you think it will fit?", she asked anxiously.

Remus looked sheepishly down at his erection that was flagging a bit, due the blood being drawn back to his brain. "I think so, every book I've read on the topic said that females can accommodate up to nine and half inches. Are you …um…intact?", he asked timidly.

Kate blushed and looked down at her lap. "No, I had a very bad fall from a broom when I was twelve, though I've never…done it."

He breathed a small sigh of relief. "Well, that's good" He took notice of her arched eyebrow. "I mean, I'm sorry you fell but it is one less thing for us to worry about." He kissed her gently.

She responded to his kiss, tentatively teasing his lips with her tongue. He pulled her closer deepening the kiss. Kate was enjoying the feeling of being pressed closed to him, unfortunately, she startled when she felt his erection press into her belly. "Um…How big is it exactly?", she asked, pulling away from her intended.

Remus gave her a hurt look. "How big is what?", he asked confused.

"How big is your penis?", she asked, blushing.

"Smaller than nine and a half inches.", he said hopefully. She looked questioningly at him and he sighed. "Around seven and half inches, which relatively not that big. I mean babies are easily ten inches long…"

She couldn't help herself and giggled. "If it is the size of a new born, I think we need to think to have a discussion about artificial insemination."

He licked his lips and smirked at her. "Nay, love. It's not that big, more like a baby's arm holding an apple.", he said before sticking his tongue out at her. "And it's not like the size of it is a shock, I mean you have played with him before.", he stated with a cheeky grin.

"I know that was just a little different. I didn't really think about…", she mumbled.

He placed a finger on her lips. "I want this to be pleasant for you. I know the act might not be…ideal the first time, but I will do my best to make it adequate. I love you, dearest, and the last thing I want to do is hurt you."

Kate gazed into his eyes and saw nothing but love. "I trust you.", she said before kissing the scar above his heart. "I guess we just need to what comes naturally."

With her words, he visibly paled and his erection flagged again. "According to Paige and most experts in Britain…"

She cupped his cheek and interrupted him with a kiss. "According to Paige and most experts, male werewolves urinate on the houses of their intended mates. She was just trying to get a rise out of you." Kate pushed him back on the bed and pulled the sheet from her waist, before straddling him. "Anyway, she's not here."

Remus reversed their positions and laid over her. "You look wonderful, you know?" He purred then kissed her forehead and began kissing down her body, stopping to tease her nipples and nip at the areas that elicited gentle mews from her. He paused at the patch of neatly trimmed curls at the nexus of her thighs and torso. Chuckling, he gently blew across her curls.

Kate squirmed and tried to push him away. "You really don't need to do that.", she protested and pulled her legs tighter together. "There are much more scenic points of interest, you could visit. Look I have breasts, why don't you play with them for a bit. "

"You said to do what comes naturally, and male wolves smell, nuzzle, and lick the genitals of their partners before they mate.", he said placing a kiss on her mound. "I do have to make sure you're ready after all.", he playfully growled, before he pushed her legs apart. He then demonstrated how cunning of a linguist he could be, bringing her to a state of ecstasy three times before he paused to let her catch her breath.

He kissed his way back up her body and captured her mouth, allowing her to taste herself on his lips and tongue. He then ran his hands over her. "You are so perfect", he mumbled, positioning himself between her legs. Looking down, he blushed. "Could you …open your legs a little…wider?"

Kate nodded and spread her legs, wrapping them around him. "I'll be alright, beloved.", she reassured him. He balanced himself on his arms, careful not to crush her.

He took a deep breath and thrust forward. "Ow.", she squeaked as he missed his mark.

"Sorry ", he apologized and tried to adjust himself. "Could you give me a hand?", he asked shyly, causing her to giggle. She slid her hand between them and aligned him with her entrance.

Moving her hands to his back, she locked eyes with him. "I am yours.", she said intently and he slowly pushed into her. Kate winced at the pain of being stretched.

Remus stilled when he was mostly inside her. He sucked in his breath in reaction to how perfect she felt, it was all he could do to keep from wildly thrusting into her. "Are you ok?", he asked noticing the look of concentration on her face.

"Yeah, it just hurts a bit. I think I'm going to need some practice.", she joked.

He smiled down at her. "You feel incredible." He leaned down and kissed her deeply. He then slowly began moving within her. He grunted as he thrust forward again and again, each move bringing him closer to release. She smiled up at him, warmed by the bliss that was so clearly expressed on his features. She concentrated on matching his rhythm, occasional jolts of pleasure breaking through the ache of being stretched. She held on to his shoulders feeling as if he was going to cleave her in half.

Remus's pace quickened and he opened his eyes gaze into hers. "I am yours.", he growled as he spilled into her and collapsed. After a moment, he wrapped his arms around her and held on to her as if his life depended on it. "Don't ever leave me, please. I don't think I could handle it if I ever lost you." He whispered into her hair, tears rolling down his cheeks. After a few moments, he recovered and kissed her forehead. "Thank you, dearest.", he said adoringly. He then rolled off her and pulled her into his arms, where she fell asleep to his heart beat.

Once she was asleep, Remus kissed the top of her head. "I will always yours, my dearest. I will always be yours.", he whispered before nodding off to sleep himself.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus awoke at noon to the sound of a soft tapping on the window pane. Careful not to wake Kate, he shifted out of the bed and opened the window, allowing a small dust colored owl to fly into the room. The owl gave a high pitched hoot and stuck out its leg. Remus removed the letter from the owl's leg and found that it was addressed to him. He carefully unrolled the scroll and read the missive.

_Dear Remus, _

_If my instincts are correct, you should have become Kate' s mate a few hours ago. Congratulations and welcome to our tribe and family. Hopefully, the following instructions will come in handy over the course of the day and you're first time wasn't too traumatic for either of you. Let me reassure you that it will get much better and generally the first time is nothing like how it is made out to be in stories or in the fantasies of young teenagers. Not to mention that it almost always has a tendency to be a bit rough. _

_When Kate wakes up, please give her a pepper-up potion and a pain killer, preferably, an anti-inflammatory potion/pain killer combo. This will help ease any soreness. Next, get her a cup of tea or hot chocolate and something to eat. After she's had something to eat, run a warm or hot bath for her, and feel free to join her if you like. Light masturbation will help to relieve some of the pain so if you are so inclined feel free to fondle Kate. Do not penetrate her, however, and be very careful of any area around the vagina as it will be very tender if not sore. Finally, make sure Kate doesn't do anything too strenuous for the next few hours. Sleeping and lounging are highly recommended. She should be good to go by tomorrow morning. _

_I know it may seem like you are doing a lot of pampering, but she will appreciate all the TLC and will remember it quite fondly. _

_You are a good man and I am quite glad our Kate was blessed enough to find you. _

_Love, _

_Your Godmother-in-love, _

_Abigail (Abby) Blooms_

_P.S. Just from past experience, do not under any circumstances have sex if she is bleeding, even if it is just spotting. Trust me on this one, spending the time directly following a second love-making attempt in the emergency room for blood loss is not the best way to get to know each other. _

_P.P.S. If my instincts were completely off the mark, I hope you and Kate have a good laugh over this. _

Remus broke from his reading when he heard the owl flap its wings anxiously. He found it perched on Kate's dresser staring intently at a wooden box. The owl leapt forward as Remus opened the box and snatched up several large grasshoppers. The werewolf looked at the very smug owl, which gave a happy high pitched hoot and flew out the window. Remus looked in the box and saw one grasshopper left. It looked as if it had been put under a status spell. Looking out the window, he saw the owl hovering like a humming-bird. Feeling generous, he threw the last grasshopper to it, which it deftly caught.

He then shut the window and returned to bed, happy with the knowledge that Kate would soon recover.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kate's eyes fluttered open to see Remus gazing at her. "Don't stare at me while I'm sleeping.", she mumbled.

He chuckled. "You stare at me while I'm sleeping. Anyway, I don't stare, I gaze adoringly."

"I see.", she yawned. "Well, isn't there something more constructive you could be doing?", she asked tentatively.

"Already, did it.", he beamed, before retrieving a tray from the side table.

"What's this?", she queried.

"Breakfast.", he stated proudly before adjusting the tray on the bed. The tray was laden with two mugs of hot chocolate, toast, grilled tomatoes and a fluffy omelet. "Hope you don't mind mushrooms."

"Wow, it looks wonderful. You really didn't have to, I'm sure you're tired.", she lovingly stated before kissing his cheek.

Remus blushed. "No trouble really, I have to make sure you are well provided for after all."

Kate giggled. "Well, you've done an excellent job. You are truly a wonderful mate.", she said before kissing his lips. She looked down at the plate. "Do you want to share with me? I'm still a little full from last night."

He fluffed his hair and shyly looked up at her. "Sorry, about that. I got a little carried away."

"Don't you dare be sorry, it was a wonderful gift. I really liked it.", she said with a sweet smile. "Thank you, beloved. No one has ever been considerate enough to bring me cows before." He graced her with a wide grin for her praise.

Remus chuckled as he remembered the night before. _After an hour of gaining their trust, Moony had led a group of seven teenage werewolves and Padfoot to the edge of the perimeter and successfully tracked a small herd of cattle. Working as a team, the small pack successfully killed six cows and dragged five of them back to the encampment. Luna had been tending the younger cubs and seemed quite pleased to have a fresh kill. She trotted over to Moony, who bowed. She raised her head to expose her throat to him in an action of trust, before ripping into a carcass and setting the younger members of the clan to eating. She did the same to three more, before bowing to him and indicating that he could go first. He stepped forward and made the initial tear. He then stepped back and nudged her forward. After she took what she wanted, he took his portion and laid next to her as he ate. From that point in the evening, he was a constant at her side. The pair spent the rest of the night playing and resting together. _

"Is that enough?", Kate asked, breaking Remus from his revelry.

He looked down at the plate she had handed him. "Yes, thank you.", he said gratefully, digging in. The couple ate in comfortable silence, thinking over the events of the past day.

"It was really good, thank you.", she whispered, when she finished her portion of the mushroom omelet.

"You are quite welcome.", he replied and banished the dishes to the kitchen sink. "Now, Abigail said you needed to take these.", he said in a fatherly tone.

"Yes, sir.", she replied coyly and drank the potions. "Any other instructions I need to follow?"

"Yes, actually.", he playfully growled before sweeping her off the bed.

"Remus Lupin, you put me down right now.", she gasped.

"Don't worry, dearest. It's all just good clean fun.", he announced as he carried her through the bathroom door.

She stared wide-eyed at the room. Remus had lit a few dozen candles and had charmed the bathtub into a small bathing pool that could easily hold four people. He had also lit some incense and filled the tub with rose petals. "Oh Remus, it's beautiful."

"Perfect, then you will fit right in.", he whispered in her ear before gently setting her in the very warm water. He then pulled a wash cloth out of the cabinet and began to sniff bottles of body wash. He finally found Kate's and closed the cabinet. "Do you mind if I join you, my dear?"

She smiled up at him. "Of course not, I would be disappointed if you didn't.", she said huskily as she reached up and stroked his member, causing it to spring back to life.

Remus grinned and swatted her hand away. "You've given me enough today, it's my turn to pamper you.", he said before climbing into the tub with her. He pulled her closer and maneuvered her so she sat between his legs. He pushed her hair to one side and began to lather her neck and back.

She melted under his fingers as he massaged her neck and shoulders. "That feels divine.", she moaned as he worked his fingers down her spine. She leaned forward allowing him better access to her lower back. He then turned her so she faced him and began massaging her legs. "Where did you learn to do that?", she simpered as he worked out a knot in her calf. She gasped for air in an effort not to swoon and fall into the water behind her as her body relaxed.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked as he massaged her foot.

"Oh gods, please don't stop.", she whimpered as he moved up her leg kneading and stretching the muscles.

He continued to work on her body until she laid back in the water, completely relaxed. "You look like a nymph floating in the water like that.", he commented.

"I feel wonderful, thank you.", she purred. "Do you want me to work on you a bit?", she asked as she licked her lips.

Remus swallowed hard. "No, I'm good, thanks. Though I'd appreciate it, if you could get my back.", he asked handing her the wash cloth.

She gently washed his back and neck, and then started working out some of the tension in his shoulders. "Would you like me to do your hair?", she asked when she was done.

"Yes, please.", he replied, tensing for a moment as she poured warm water over his hair. He leaned back into her as she massaged his scalp, her nails gently scratching the skin behind his ears and the base of his skull.

He quietly moaned at the sensation of her fingers in his hair. She moved to rinse out the shampoo and he stopped her. "Please don't stop, it feels so good.", he said closing his eyes. Kate chuckled and rinsed his hair, but continued to massage his scalp drawing moans from her mate. When he was sated he leaned back into her shoulder, and kissed her neck. "I think I'll keep you.", he teased before ducking under the water. He resurfaced and shook himself, splattering Kate with water.

"You ready to get out or do you want to soak for a bit?", she asked.

"I think soaking would be nice, we could relax and talk for a bit.", he replied, twisting the excess water out of his hair. "But first.", he said as he stood up and stepped out of the tub, grabbing his wand so he could cast a warming spell on the bath water.

Kate let out a contented sigh. "This is really nice.", she purred as she stretched in the water and stifled a giggle at the reaction she was inducing in her mate. "So what would you like to talk about?"

"I don't know. I just thought we should get to know each other better.", he said as he climbed in the tub.

"What do you want to know?", she asked coyly and dived under the water so she could tease him. He tried to push her away, but she wasn't going to give up so quickly.

He moved to the other side of the tub and sat against on the edge so he leaned against the wall. "No, you don't. You need to just sit back and let me pamper you." Kate rose up from the water looking all the more like Waterhouse nymph and licked her lips, before kissing the inside of his thigh. "Kate, stop.", he paused as he took a shuddering breath in reaction to her ministrations. "Gods, Kate!", he growled as Kate continued to curiously explore his body. "Please …oh gods.", he whimpered as she moved higher to place kisses in rather sensitive areas, finally taking him in her hands and mouth. It didn't take too long before he was completely undone, pleading with her not to stop in between growls and declarations of his undying love. He felt dizzy and disoriented as his world exploded around him and he slumped against the tile wall.

Kate giggled and dove under the water for a moment. She resurfaced and laid her head on his lap. He took a deep breath and looked down on her smiling face. "You are going to be the death of me, woman.", he panted. Stroking her hair, he bent down and kissed her cheek. "You are just full of surprises, where did you learn that?"

"I read an awful lot and Abigail was rather good at getting me books, I think I found in Veronica Franco's _Atto D'Amore Benedetto_.", she replied.

"The Blessed Act of Love?", he asked trying to get a rough translation.

"The same, have you read it?", she said, moving backwards to let him sink back into the tub.

He shivered adjusting to the water's temperature. "No, I haven't. I gave it to Lily as a wedding present."

"She must have enjoyed it.", Kate replied with a cheeky grin.

"If that was just a sample of what the text has to offer, I think I will enjoy it more.", he said in a husky tone. "But you are supposed to be the one being pampered not me.", he stated as he moved his hands down to her breasts.

"You're fun to play with though.", she said with a slight pout.

"I think I would like to get to know you better though.", he said. "So, let's begin then. When is your birthday?"

"August 1st, you?", she replied.

"February 1st. You're only a day off from Harry.", he said with a smile.

"So tell me about Harry.", she said as she moved to sit behind him.

Remus broke into a large smile and leaned forward so she could slide behind him. He then snuggled back into her, letting his legs stretch in front of him. "Harry is Lily and James's son. I had him and his friends when I taught at Hogwarts. We met again when Sirius and I moved back into Order Headquarters."

"He must be something really special.", she encouragingly and kissed his shoulder.

"He is, Kate, he is. He is just as kind hearted and smart as his mother.", he let out a sad chuckle. "He's also just as mischievous as James ever was. I still can't get over the fact that he's already sixteen." Kate gave him a reassuring squeeze.

"I can still remember how happy we all were the day he was born. I think it is fair to say Lily was more relieved than the rest of us.", he said with a laugh. "She was in labor for 37 hours. James and I took turns feeding her ice chips and walking with her in the halls. Sirius would pop in to calm James down and tease Lily about how his godson needed to hurry up so he could play with him.", he said with a warm chuckle. He turned and quirked a smile towards his mate. "Strictly off the record, for as great as he has become, when Harry was born he was just this little wrinkly thing with a huge head full of black messy hair. I still don't know how Lily pulled it off. She was so beautiful holding him, tears filling her eyes. I was the first to hold him after her, you know?"

Kate smiled at him and kissed the back of his neck. " Really? That most have been awesome."

"James fainted as soon as the mediwitch suggested he cut the cord. Sirius had to leave because it was just too much for him, so I was under orders to fetch him once the more gooey parts were over. And Lily just smiled up at me, and handed me this little bundle. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen so pure and full of promise." His voice wobbled a bit. "I saw him once, after Lily and James died. It was just after his forth birthday, he playing in a park near his Aunt's house on Privet Drive, he looked so sad. I wanted…I wanted to say 'hello'. I wanted to see what he was like, to just tell him how loved he was but I couldn't. Even if it weren't for the laws, what would they have said if some shabby stranger just walked up and started talking to him?", he somehow managed to get the last part out before breaking down.

Kate turned him around and held him. "He sounds wonderful, I can't wait to meet him.", she said gently, while rubbing small circles on his back.

After he calmed a bit, he gave Kate a watery smile. "I'm usually a lot better about this, you must think me quite the wimp.

She gave him a deep kiss. "You're not a wimp, you are one of the most noble and brave men I know."

"You really are too good to me.", he said.

"Why don't we get dressed and relax inside for a bit? I think we've been in here long enough." She wriggled her wrinkled fingertips to illustrate her point, causing him to laugh.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus entered the bedroom, dressed in a pair of jeans and one of Kate's concert t-shirts. He found Kate standing naked near the bed, rubbing lotion over her body. Crossing behind her, he took the lotion from her hand. "Need some help?", he queried.

"No, I'm fine.", she said with a small blush.

"Please, I want to help.", he pleaded.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Fine."

Remus chuckled and bounced a little, before coughing and putting on a serious façade. "Thank you, my dear." He squeezed some lotion into his hand and began to smooth it over her body. After he finished her back, he led her to the bed and laid her down. He then began smoothing lotion into her legs. "Do you mind if I?", he asked timidly as he rubbed lotion into her breasts.

"I am yours, do as your heart desires.", she said gently.

Encouraged by her words, Remus quirked an eyebrow and let out a wicked laugh. 'Really, my dear? That could prove dangerous.", he said, raking his gaze over her.

Kate smirked at him. "I trust you."

"Foolish girl.", he chuckled. "Sweet, innocent, naïve Kate. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Giving yourself to a Marauder and a werewolf…"Before he could finish, she pulled him on the bed and straddled him.

"You were saying?", she queried, bending over and kissing the tip of his nose.

"I can't pull off big and scary with you, can I?", he asked innocently.

"No, but it's fun to play.", she replied, grinding her hips into him.

"We are supposed to wait until morning. I don't want you getting hurt.", he stated.

"Oh come on, please? It doesn't ache any more, at least not in a bad way.", she pleaded.

"Really?", he asked hopefully, but thought better of it. "No, you need to be properly rested."

"Please? Pretty please? Come on, I really want to.", she coyly purred.

"No.", he growled. "You need to rest, my love."

"But Remus…", she whined and twirled a curl around her finger. "I really, really want to and if I get you off one more time today, we will be tied.", she stated enthusiastically.

"I thought this wasn't a competition?", he asked sweetly.

"It isn't but I still want to be ahead or at the very least tied.", she said rubbing small circles into his chest. "Not mention, you've gotten me pretty wound up."

He smiled up at her and reversed their position. She gasped at the feeling of his clothing against her bare skin. He gently ground against her and ran his hands teasingly over her body, causing her to whimper. "I think I like being in the lead, in fact, I think I need to secure my position.", he growled before nipping at he her neck. "And I think that I really need to repay you for your efforts in the bath." He squeezed and kneaded her hips, eliciting a moan from her.

"Please Remus, I want you so bad.", she pleaded as she tried to capture his mouth.

"No, my sweet.", he whispered before licking the shell of her ear. "You might want that now, but you need me to be gentle, Abby said so in her letter."

Kate let out a frustrated groan. "We don't have to tell her."

He chuckled and captured her mouth in a consuming kiss. Tentatively, he placed his hand between her legs and inserted a finger. She stiffened and whimpered into his mouth. He broke the kiss and gazed deeply into her eyes. "Still sore?", he asked and moved to remove the offending digit.

She held his hand in place. "No, please don't stop. It feels good, it is just a little tender.", she panted.

"I will be very gentle then, I wouldn't want to hurt my Kate.", he reverently whispered, before kissing her cheek. Holding his hand still between her legs, he moved down her torso and licked, kissed, and suckled her breasts, making her quiver beneath him. "You are so lovely.", he gently growled into her chest, slowly moving his hand between her legs. Lifting his head, he looked into her eyes, which were now a deep shade of cobalt. He released a shaky breath at the sight of her.

"Please beloved.", she pleaded, grinding her hips against his hand.

Experimentally, he inserted another finger. She stilled at the feeling but slowly began rolling her hips. She moaned and huskily growled out his name. "Please, Remus. Please, I need you…I need you to…", she pleaded in between gasps for air.

"Need me to do what, dearest?", he said, his eyes wide in wonder.

"Please.", she ground harder into his hand and moved her hands down her body. Remus nodded and kissed down her body to her center. She let out a feral growl as he dropped his head down and began gently moving his fingers. Carefully, he began soothing and teasing her with his tongue. She began to whimper and whisper endearments, begging him not to stop. Soon she shattered, again and again, under his loving ministrations. As her world exploded for the final time, she fainted just after he called out his name.

Kate woke up in Remus's arms. He was gazing at her and quietly running his fingers through her hair. "Hello beautiful.", he whispered. "Do you feel alright?"

"Mm… I feel glorious. Thank you.", she hummed before kissing him. "I probably should get cleaned up."

"No, need my love. I took care of it while you were…resting.", he said with a huge smile.

"Do you feel up to getting dressed? I have a surprise for you in the other room.", he stated, twirling several strands of her hair around his finger.

"Alright.", she agreed and moved out of the bed.

Remus got out of the bed and picked up a stack of clothes sitting on the chair. "Would you mind wearing these?", he asked timidly.

Kate looked over the clothing, which seemed to be nothing out of the ordinary a long comfortable skirt, tank top, and sweater. She was quite surprised at his choice of under garments. She blushed as she held up her only pair of thong underwear.

"I saw Paige in a similar pair and I thought they would look quite…", he said, pausing to lick his lips in thought, "delectable on you."

She blushed and smiled shyly at him. "Of course, I will wear them. Thank you for taking the time to pick them out."

"Do you mind if I watch you get dressed?", he asked quietly.

Kate nodded and slowly slid the panties on. Remus's breath caught as she shyly turned, modeling them for him. "They look perfect on you.", he said as he gawked at her. She then slipped on her bra and he pulled her towards him, wrapping her in a hug. He then helped her put on the rest of her clothes. "I will meet you out front, I need to do a few last minute touches."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kate walked out into the living room and looked around unable to see her mate. "Remus? Remus, where are you?", she called out.

'In here.", he called back from the dining room.

She entered the dining room and gaped at her surroundings. Remus had transfigured the dining room table and chairs into a low table and floor pillows. He had arranged them cozily around the fireplace, which contained a merrily crackling fire.

"It looks lovely, beloved.", she told him as she kissed his cheek.

"I'm glad you like it. I was just thinking…", he started as his stomach rumbled. "Sorry, I guess I'm hungry."

Kate smiled at him. "Do you mind Thai food, again?"

"No, that sounds good.", he replied.

"I will just put an order in then.", she chirped happily and headed out to use the phone.

Remus took the moment to plop down on one of the stacks of floor pillows. _Well, old boy, it has been quite a day, _he thought blissfully to himself. _Now, all I have to do is sit back and wait for my mate to come back. _He chuckled for a moment. _My mate, Kate is my mate. I have a mate and she loves me, _he thought gleefully as he settled into the pillows and waited.

**A/N: Aw…Isn't that sweet? Just so you know the line, **"There are much more scenic points of interest, you could visit. Look I have breasts, why don't you play with them for a bit. " **is not an original idea, it was borrowed from The Corset Diaries by Katie MacAlister. But as promised we have provided, lovely lemons for you to feast upon.**

**(Padmyster77 has messaged Prof. Pendragon)**

**Sirius: Why the bloody hell does Remus get all the lemons? What the hell has the world come to when Remus gets lemons before me? I want some bloody lemons.**

**Prof. Pendragon: I'm sorry, Sirius but I'm not responsible for writing your character.**

**Sirius: That is a load of rubbish, you write my character from time to time. **

**Prof. Pendragon: Fine, I don't usually write your character and I don't write Paige, she's not my creation. **

**Sirius: I don't care, I want some lemons. **

**Prof. Pendragon: And how am I supposed to do that? Who do you want to shag Remus, Kate, or Jack? **

**Sirius: Well, Kate is nice enough and Remus is rather the sentimental sort. Wait a minute, I refuse to shag any of them. I want bloody lemons, not psychological games, Professor. **

**Prof. Pendragon: Calm down, Sirius. **

**Sirius: It's because I'm Black, isn't it? **

**Prof. Pendragon: What?!**

**Sirius: I know how Americans are, you just won't give me lemons because I'm Black. **

**Prof. Pendragon: Sirius you are a member of the elite: a wealthy, white, male, heterosexual wizard. Outside of being an escaped convict you really don't have a lot holding you back socially. **

**Sirius: I know, they always send the Blacks to prison. Strip them of their rights, take away their ability to achieve lemons. **

**Prof. Pendragon: Ok, well. I'm going to hand you over to Hornhead and maybe she can write some sense into you and write up the responses to our reviewers while she's at it. Thank you everyone for reading and reviewing, you are truly fabulous. (Logs off)**

**Sirius: Hey, get back here. (Hornhead logs on)**

**Hornhead: Yes, Sirius. I hear you have some issues to discuss with me. **

**Sirius: Yes, I do. Why the bloody hell haven't I been shagged?!**

**Hornhead: Oh, I don't know. Beating the crap out of my OC might be a start.**

**Sirius: T'was only a flesh wound! Besides, she forgave me. I deserve a good roll in the hay. **

**Hornhead: Good? Is that all you think she'd be? Try spectacular, mind-blowing, or even awe inspiring!**

**Sirius: All the more reason for me to get it now! What am I doing in the next chapter? Do I get any there?**

**Hornhead: No, you do not 'Get Any', you go to Paige's parents house with her. And keep it up, I just delayed it one more day. **

**Sirius: FINE! (Logs off)**

**Hornhead: Well, that was certainly different. **

**Cherokeegirl: Thanks for the review. We're really glad you like the story so far and we hope we can keep up the good work. **

**LightningRain: No dice for Jack, he's off doing other things. You're right, it is about time for Remus to get some action. Poor little banana. **

**Katarina : Kudos on being the winner! The one and only guess and you guessed right. Take your time deciding, we've got a while before it takes effect. **

**Jen: Is there a good way to be 'drawn and quartered'? Don't worry about Jack, Karma is a bitch. **

**Sassafras: Sirius is adorable when he's high. It might happen again, but probably not. As for Kate and Remus, I hope they borrowed a condom (they probably didn't). **

**Miss Moony: Not to worry, Jack won't push his luck. It's almost past the breaking point as it is. **

**Thank you everyone for reviewing I must go now, I have French toast waiting. –Hornhead. **


	26. Intermission

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns the Potterverse. We own their screen names. **

**Also we apologize if we have used anyone's real screen name, website, or chat room, we just sort of made this stuff up on the fly at Denny's so as far as we know none of this really exists. **

**Intermission or we've misplaced the opening to chapter 26. **

And so the pixies of the land thought it would be a brilliant idea to misplace the first half of chapter 26, delaying the story and providing an opportunity to sneak into the author's chat room.

User Chaospixies has joined MystikDennys

Moonilicious: What do you mean you lost the opening of chapter 26? How in the world did you manage that one?

Prongsy-baby: I like bananas myself.

Prof. Pendragon: I'm sorry, Remus. It's just been misplaced; it is sometimes hard to keep track of hundreds of handwritten pages between Arizona and Nevada. I must have left it somewhere, Hornhead is sure she gave it to me at Denny's.

Potiongurl has logged off

Potionmaster69: Potiongurl come back.

Hornhead: I like bananas too but I'm fonder of peaches.

XXXiNceNdoCALIENTEXXX has joined

XXXiNceNdoCALIENTEXXX: come view my web cam at wwwpotionnymphcom 

Potionmaster69 has logged off

Padmyster: Was that a scene with me in it?

Prof. Pendragon: Yes, it was. I think you ate a bug and were hit on by some girls with large breasts and small IQ's

Padmyster: Will it be rewritten?

BlingMasterDumblyD: I like lemon drops myself.

Padmyster: Will the breasts be bigger? Will I get laid?

Hornhead: Lemon drops aren't fruit.

Padmyster: Damn it, tell me when I'm gonna get laid.

Prongsy-baby : I don't like anything with more fuzz than I have.

Padmyster: Are you talking about women?

Prof. Pendragon: Hornhead is going to do the rewrite for the scene. I have no idea about when you are going to get laid.

BlingMasterDumblyD: NAKED TIME!!!

Moonilicious: BTW. Thank you for the lemon, it was lovely.

XXXiNceNdoCALIENTEXXX has logged out

Prongsy-baby: Them too, but I was talking about fruit.

BlingMasterDumblyD: I like lemon drops.

Potionmaster69 has rejoined

Potionmaster69: Don't go there, it's a dreadful site. It was just naked pics of Nicolas Flamel.

Hornhead: (twitches)

Prongsy-baby: Ha Ha!

Potionmaster69: Shut it, Potter!!

Prongsy-baby: Make me, Snivelly!!

Padmyster: Hey Hornhead! Will you get me laid already?

Prof. Pendragon: YW Moony.

Hornhead: Maybe? Will you get me laid?

Potionmaster69: Excuse me, since when do the flea bitten duo get to play slap and tickle with others. I thought they'd already had a civil ceremony.

Moonilicious: Any idea when Kate and I might get a chance to walk through cupid's garden again?

Prongsy-baby: Are you jealous?

Padmyster: Yes, I'm fucking jealous. Since when does Moony come before Padfoot?

Hornhead: Since his balls dropped first.

Potionmaster69: Well Black, I guess the premature ejaculator rumors are true.

Prongsy-baby: You would know, you greasy git. I caught you watching him in sixth year.

Hornhead: That's not really fair, Sirius. I'm pretty sure you came first will the hand job.

Prof. Pendragon: Chapter 29 or 30, Moony.

Padmyster: Big deal, a hand job. I want something more.

XXXiNceNdoCALIENTEXXX has rejoined

Hornhead: You want a foot job?

XXXiNceNdoCALIENTEXXX: Come view my web cam wwwanimagicallydeliciouscom 

Prongsy-baby: So, you're not denying it Snivelus?

Potionsmaster69: I would never watch that cur. You talk an awful lot for a dead man, Potter.

BlingMasterDumblyD: Does anyone want to celebrate naked time with me?

Prongsy-baby: I quit being dead, when I heard about the LOTR movies.

Prof. Pendragon: You quit being dead?

Prongsy-baby: Yes, it was very boring. You just lay there day after day. My muscles got stiff.

Potionsmaster69: That was Rigermortis, you git.

Prongsy-baby: Exactly why I quit.

XXXiNceNdoCALIENTEXXX: Come view my web cam. HOT XXX Animagus Action. wwwthePlaidPussyCatcom 

Potionsmaster69 has logged out

BlingMasterDumblyD has logged out

Padmyster: So what am I doing in the next chapter?

Prongsy-baby: You are going with me to see ROTK.

Padmyster: Must you go on about that?

Prongsy-baby: Yes, remember in third year when we wrote stories about LOTR.

Padmyster: And then we turned Snivelus into Gollum. LMOA. He didn't seem to like that much.

Prof. Pendragon: Alright, any suggestions for the rest of the story?

Padmyster: I want to get laid.

Prongsy-baby: I want to get laid too.

Potionsmaster69 has rejoined

Hornhead: Dead men always have a stiffie.

Prongsy-baby: Hey! If Vestia can get some, so can I.

Moonilicious: Don't call me Vestia.

Prongsy-baby: Who said I was talking about you?

BlingMasterDumblyD has rejoined

BlingMasterDumblyD: You looked at Minnie, didn't you?

Potionsmaster69: Unfortunately

Hornhead: Please tell me you are talking about a mouse.

Prof. Pendragon: I think they are talking about a cat.

Padmyster: Eww..

Hornhead: Paige is a cat.

Padmyster has logged off

Moonilicious: So, how is Lily?

BlingMasterDumblyD: Dead, last time I checked.

Prongsy-baby: She got a gig modeling for Victoria's Secret.

Potionsmaster69: Spring 2004 catalog?

Moonilicious: Don't look at her, you greasy bastard.

Padmyster has rejoined

Padmyster: That wasn't Paige (shudders)

Hornhead : You can't hear me but I'm laughing evilly.

Hornhead : Hey Prof. (blushes) I found the chapter opening.

Prof. Pendragon: Finally. Where was it?

Prongsy-baby: Damn it, Snape. Why don't you grow up and just get a date?

Potionsmaster69: I'm sure there is a certain red head I could dig up.

Hornhead : You two behave. We are in charge of your fates after all.

Prof. Pendragon: Not to mention we have rather deviant senses of humor.

Potionsmaster69 : Do your worst.

Prof. Pendragon: So I'll be by to pick up the scene and I should be able to get the chapter out by the end of the week.

Potionsmaster69: What did you do with my pants?

Hornhead: Cool.

Potionsmaster69: Hand over my pants this instant, you sophomoric harpies.

BlingMasterDumblyD: Oh Severus, you finally decided to join in naked time with me.

Chaospixies has logged off

**A/N: We are insane, thank for validating our insanity by reading our fic. We hope that is was easy to distinguish who was who. Also the "."s in the web addresses were purposefully left out so they would appear in accordance to FFN formatting.**

**Thank you to all our reviewers. We will post our responses to your lovely reviews for Chapter 25 at the end Chapter 26, which will be coming out shortly. **


	27. Meet the Parents

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns all, sees alls, and does all…well, with the possible exception of Dallas. We're pretty sure that belongs to some woman named Debbie. **

**Warnings: Um…deals with racial prejudices and bugs. Also just FYI, the section completely in italics is a dream sequence. **

Chapter 26: Meeting the Parents

Paige and Sirius got into her car and set off for her parent's house. A few minutes into the ride, Paige turned on the radio. Intrigued, Sirius started fiddling with it, amazed at how many types of music came blaring into the car. She put up with the station changing every few seconds and answered his questions good naturedly.

Ten minutes later, Sirius had stopped switching stations to Paige's relief. However, he was currently dancing in his seat to the Macarena courtesy of Mix 94.7. She didn't like the song a year ago when it first came out and she sure didn't like it now, but she chose to hold her tongue since they had only reconciled a few hours before.

Twenty minutes later, Sirius was inspecting the dashboard. He pointed at a button with wavy lines drawn upon it. "What's that button?"

Paige glanced over. "That's the rear defrost."

"What's a rear defrost?", he asked.

"It warms up my back window and keeps it from fogging up.", she said with a small sigh.

"Can I defrost your rear?", Sirius asked suggestively.

Paige giggled. "Charming, but no."

Sirius huffed and pointed to another button. "What's this button do?"

"That's the hazard lights."

"This one, what's it do?"

"That's the AC."

"What's this one on the ceiling?"

"That's the sun roof, you push the button to open it."

Sirius opened it and cautiously stuck his head out. He whooped as the wind rushed around him and blew his hair back. His happiness ended when the car was suddenly enveloped in a dust-devil. Dirt, rocks, and bugs stung his face, making him gasp. A giant grasshopper splattered against his teeth. He almost reflexively bit down on it, but stopped and spit it out before going back into the car and closing the roof.

He made a face at Paige. "Yuck, do you have something I could wipe my face with?"

Paige shook her head. "Nope, dust bothering you?"

Sirius started hacking like a cat with a fur ball. "No, but that bug did." He licked his teeth a few times.

Paige looked horrified. "Oh God, Sirius! Please tell me you're joking!"

Sirius laughed. "Well, they taste better than rats so I can't complain." He gave her a toothy grin. "Do I have any in my teeth?"

Paige determinedly stared at the road. "I don't know and I am not going to look."

"Come on, luv, I don't want to show up at your mum's house with bits of bug in my teeth, what will she think of me?", he whined.

Paige snorted. "She'll think you're related to Jack." Sirius laughed and Paige continued. "We'll stop at this next exit and get you some mouthwash."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Fifteen minutes later, a very amused Paige leaned against her care as Sirius repeatedly rinsed his mouth out. He walked back over to the car, passing four young women in Mustang. He winked at them, causing one to blow him a kiss and another to flash him. He stopped and blinked, making the four girls laugh. Shaking his head in amusement, he headed back towards Paige.

She stretched and yawned. "All better?"

Sirius nodded. "Yep. That bug had a rather nutty flavor." He heard giggles and hushed voices behind him. He turned to see the women he had just flirted with staring at him. He shrugged. "Sun roof.", he said with a laugh and turned back to Paige. "So are we going?"

Paige moved to the driver's side and got in. As her door closed, one of the women behind him spoke up, causing Sirius to turn and face her. "So, you eat bugs? I've been known to swallow serpents.", she took a step towards him and ran her hands up his chest and around his shoulders.

Sirius smiled down at her. "So does she", he motioned to the car, "and she's got references." The woman huffed and rejoined her friends, while Sirius got in the car.

Paige smiled at him. "Having fun out there?"

"Yes, I guess so. She said she swallowed serpents."

Paige put her head against the steering wheel and laughed. "Sirius, that has got to be the funniest thing I have ever heard. These girls are falling all over you after hearing that you eat_ bugs_."

Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "What of it?"

Paige squeezed his knee before caressing his crotch briefly. "People in America don't normally eat bugs, dearie. They saw how absolutely striking you are and practically threw themselves at you. Not that I could blame them."

"Well, I'm not overly fond of them talking so blatantly about things.", Sirius commented, coloring slightly.

Paige glanced over and smiled, getting a rough idea of why Sirius was embarrassed. "Are you blushing?"

He adverted his gaze and replied "No. I just don't like ladies talking like that."

"Do you like me talking like that?", she teased. Sirius nodded but then shifted uncomfortably. Paige smirked and continued. "Good, because I had planned on doing so with you soon."

After seeing that there was no getting out of this conversation, Sirius decided to take a different approach. "Really, luv? Giving or receiving?", he asked exasperatedly.

Paige patted his leg. "Oh, I'm fond of both I've been told that I am very good at giving blow jobs."

"Wouldn't know, you've never given me one.", he stated, looking out the window.

Paige was quiet for a bit, giving them both time to think. Finally, she asked "Sirius? How many girls have you done this with?"

He sighed. "The thing you have to understand, luv, is that this sort of thing is somewhat kinky for me. The Wizarding world in England is a good twenty years behind the times. I don't know what it is like here now, but it's not easy for me to just talk about it. I will answer your question, though. I have only given and received oral sex three times with one girl. Any more questions?", he finished, raising an eyebrow.

Paige grinned. "Well, maybe. Did you like receiving it?"

He turned back from the window somberly. "Yes, of course. It's kind of embarrassing to talk about, though, so can we change the subject?"

Shaking her head, she pressed onward. "Did you like giving it?"

"Yes, luv, I liked it all. If I didn't, I wouldn't have done IT.", Sirius replied exasperatedly.

Patting his knee, she smiled. "Alright, didn't mean to upset you." Sirius crossed his arms, making Paige change the subject. "So, we're almost there…"

He looked eagerly out the window. "Good. I'm getting restless."

"Well, we still have another fifteen minutes or so. You'll be able to run around with the kids when we get there. Mom and Dad have a big yard, so feel free."

"Good to know. Is this a big family thing or do these kids you speak of live nearby?", Sirius asked.

Paige turned onto a bumpy dirt road. The car and its passengers were jostled about were jostled about with each dip and rise, making Sirius feel somewhat sick. He grimaced and put his hand on his stomach. Paige looked over and gave a concerned look. "Are you okay?"

"Fine, I'm just not used to this kind of movement in a car. Will we be there soon?", he asked, before swallowing hard.

"Yes, soon. Why don't you switch forms until we get there? You'll feel better as a dog."

Paige looked over and saw a big black dog sitting in the passenger seat. She scratched his ears and petted him, making him lean into her hand. "Good boy. Feel better?" Padfoot licked her hand and she chuckled softly. "Good. I'd hate for you to be sick over here."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius saw Paige get out and hug a little boy. "Corbin!", she exclaimed. "Where's your Mom?" Sirius smiled and got out of the car, listening to Corbin berate Paige for not bringing Rose.

"But she turns into a dog and plays with me!", the boy shouted.

Paige looked up at Sirius and stifled a smile. "Well, I brought another friend for you to play with. This is Orion."

Corbin turned to Sirius with a skeptical look on his face. "Well, you aren't as furry as Rose, but I guess I like you.", he grumbled.

Sirius smiled and spared a glance at Paige and was going to respond when the sound of a door closing caused him to turn around.

A man walked up, carrying a grease covered object. "Hey, Paige. You might want to watch out, Mom's in one of her moods. I just got grease all over the bathroom and she expected you about two hours ago so she is convinced you're dead."

Paige growled, "They won't hurt me, why doesn't she understand that?"

"Why don't I understand what, dear?", a woman said from behind Sirius. He whirled around to see a disheveled older version of Paige coming down the porch steps in a long pink gingham dress with a white lace half apron over the skirt. Her long brown hair was pinned in a messy bun.

Paige looked at her mom and snorted. "Mom, you look like Ma Wilder in that dress."

"Well", she huffed. "I'd like to see how you'd look after spending the morning making funeral arrangements for your daughter."

"Alright, Mum, I will call next time I drive in. I just decided to bring a friend last minute.", she said and motioned to Sirius.

Paige's Mom blew a strand of hair out of her eyes. "Mum, is it? He must be from England."

Sirius stepped forward and shook her hand. "Orion Evans, madam. I hope I'm not inconveniencing you by arriving unannounced."

She smiled at his formality and shook her head. "Oh no, honey; the kids always bring friends. We'll just set another plate at the table.", she said and ushered the two inside.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The inside of the house was much bigger than it looked on the outside. This was a good thing, because it was packed full of people; laughing, talking, and shouting. Most of the noise was coming from the family room, where a big screen television could be seen.

Paige smiled. "Dad and the guys are watching football. You can join them in a bit, if you want."

Sirius followed her to the kitchen, where several women were cooking. Paige hugged a little woman that was working on a cherry pie. "Hi, Gramma."

She hugged Paige back, getting flour on Paige's clothes. "Well, hello Miss. Paige.", she said with a Texas lilt.

Paige looked down at her white-blotched clothes and chuckled. "Making my favorite food?"

Gramma brushed some flour off Paige's cheek and laughed. "Oh, I'm sorry. I got this all over you."

Paige shrugged it away and hugged another woman. "That's ok, you've been busy cooking."

Her mom pulled a dish out of the oven. "Your grandma has been busier'n a bee in a bucket a honey today getting everything cooked. Michael and I had it out over the upstairs bathroom, too."

Paige smiled. "He told me. So, what is he doing to his bike this time?"

"Who knows? He hasn't left it alone since he got it.", her Mom replied.

Paige shrugged and they left the room. After a quick hug for her father and brother, she and Sirius went upstairs.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She lead him down the hall to her room, a cozy little place crammed full of furniture. Sirius eyed the yellow walls with amusement, wondering how this sunny color would look in Grimmauld Place. The bed was small, hardly big enough for one person, and had a down comforter on top with a daisy print. A worn blue doll with white pants and hat sat on the pillow.

Her dresser top was packed with various pieces of make-up and perfume. A mirror on the wall behind it was covered in pictures and had necklaces hanging off of it, virtually hiding the fact that it was a mirror at all.

Her desk had a strange contraption on it. Paige called it a computer and turned it on. Next to it was a doll dressed in brightly colored dress with vibrant orange hair. On the right of the desk was a big bookshelf packed full of books. The overall feel of the room was cramped but cozy.

Paige pulled out a set of robes from the dresser and started to change. Sirius watched her strip her shirt and pants off and stilled her hand before she could grab the robes. He smiled and kissed her softly, tugging her underwear down.

Paige pushed him away and pulled the underwear back up. "No! My family is downstairs!"

Sirius cast a silencing spell on the room and advanced on her. "They are downstairs, not up here.", he reasoned.

Paige giggled and stepped away again. "What if one of the kids came in? I'm not going to answer for that one."

Sirius grabbed for her and missed. She grabbed his wrists. "No", she said firmly.

The wizard pouted and sat on her bed, crossing his arms. "Fine, just remember that you won't have that excuse tonight when we get back to the apartment.", he warned.

Paige slipped into the clothes she had out and turned to the mirror. "You're right, I won't. I have to work tonight, though, so you're still out of luck", she retorted as she brushed her hair out.

"All the more reason to do it now, luv.", he purred. Paige made no response and Sirius laid down on the bed, his feet hanging over the edge.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius awoke to a sharp rapping on the door. He went over to it, wondering where he was. A young man was standing outside in a baggy sweatshirt and jeans. Sirius looked at him questioningly.

"I've been sent to tell you that lunch is ready.", he said. Sirius nodded and cautiously shut the door, leaving a confused man on the other side.

Randal shook his head and walked away muttering, "Why does she go for the quiet ones?" as he headed downstairs.

He saw Paige, through the passage to the kitchen, having a creamed horseradish fight with Susie. Paige ducked and a large blob of sauce landed on Michael as he walked by. Michael looked down and the substance on his arm and then at Paige. "This better be something that belongs in a kitchen, Winnie, or you will die soon.", he warned.

Paige burst into laughter. "Well, Mikie, it's either horseradish sauce or Susan got really excited."

Michael grabbed a napkin and wiped the white goo off his shirt. "Well, with you I can never be too careful.", he responded and walked away.

Randal watched the exchange in amusement, before tapping Paige on the shoulder. "Hey, that guy in your bedroom is strange, but I told him to come down for lunch anyway."

Paige stopped her cleaning of the mess from the fight. "How is he strange? I asked you to go up and say two things to him, you wouldn't know in that amount of time.", she asked.

Randal grabbed a wet wash cloth and helped clean everything up. "First of all, he acted like Erik and didn't even acknowledge me. Secondly, I don't know if he knew where he was."

Paige cast an annoyed look at her brother. "Orion isn't Erik, believe me. Matter of fact, his best friend is completely broke and probably will be for a while, so don't think that way. As for not knowing where he is, he just woke up after helping me last night.", she explained and ruffled his hair.

Randal peeked out into the living room and turned back to Paige. "Well, he still isn't down yet. Want me to check on him?"

Paige bit her lip. "No, I'll do it. He's kind of grumpy when he wakes up." Randal raised an eyebrow and playfully hit her in the shoulder, making her recover with "I know this because he's staying in the guest room and he was cranky last week in the morning." Randal nodded, although he didn't believe her, and waved her out of the kitchen.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paige went up and knocked twice before entering to see Sirius looking up intently at her. He smiled and she walked in. "What are you doing? Lunch is ready."

Sirius startled and let out a small laugh. "Sorry, luv, I was waiting for you because I don't want to say anything to upset your family.", he explained.

Paige smirked and took his hand as she started walking out the door. "You'll do fine. You're not going to offend anyone. Besides, I already told my parents that you are just a friend visiting from London. They only put you under the gun if you're my 'boyfriend'."

Sirius looked at her quizzically. "Under the gun? That's a phrase I've never heard before."

Paige stopped on the stairs and turned around. "Really?", she asked. He nodded and she shrugged in response. "Huh. Well, as long as you know what it means."

They went to the living room, where everyone had seemed to have gathered. Paige dragged Sirius to one side and got everyone's attention with a loud whistle. "Ok, everyone this is Orion. Orion, I'll introduce you to everyone, but I don't expect you to remember everyone's name." Sirius nodded as Paige pointed to each person as she told him the names. "First of all, this is my dad, just call him Phil." Sirius shook Phil's hand and Paige turned him to the left. "This is my mom, Victoria, either call her Vickie or just call her Mom like the rest of us do. Here's Randal, he woke you up. Next to him is Corbin, who has now decided you aren't hairy enough so he doesn't like you. His dad, Mike is sitting next to him. This is Mike's wife, Anelle with their new baby, Katie. Then there's Megan, Susie, Grant, John John, and Agatha in the back. Next to her is Caitlin, and her husband Leeland should be around here somewhere. And then Alex is behind you.", she finished.

Sirius turned around to see a boy with bright blue hair standing a few feet away. He smiled at Alex and took in the boy's indifferent expression, dismissive gesture and the way he walked away when Sirius tried to shake his hand. He chuckled and felt Paige's hand on his arm. He turned back to everyone and inclined his head to Phil and Vickie. "It's a pleasure to meet you and your lovely family. Thank you for inviting me into your home."

Vickie smiled her approval and guided Sirius into the dining room, where she sat him on her left and signaled Paige to sit across from him as everyone else took their places at the table.

Sirius watched as everyone started passing dishes around and helped himself to everything he was offered. Vickie asked him about his background, getting a threatening look from Paige. He tried to respond truthfully, but had to lie about having a job.

Everything was going fine until Vickie asked Sirius about where he lived in England. He gave a dazzling smile and replied, "I inherited a house in London, and I spend a lot of time fixing it up."

Phil took a sip of iced tea before saying, "That's where Christina lives."

Vickie brightened. "Oh, yes, do you know her? Of course, she changed her first name when she married Rabastan."

Sirius glanced up at Paige, who had become very still and was currently staring at her food. He turned back to Vickie. "Um, what would her name be now?"

"Hasn't Paige mentioned her? I guess not, seeing as they're not speaking to each other. Her name is now Cashlan Lestrange.", Vickie said cheerfully.

Sirius choked on his food and looked up at Paige again. She wouldn't meet his gaze so he swallowed and managed a weak smile. "I know of her. I'm muggleborn, though, so I don't have very much contact with her."

The room fell silent for a moment before Randal cleared his throat. "So, how did you like running with the pack last night? From what Paige tells us, it can be pretty exhausting."

Then animagus grinned at Paige's brother. "It was very tiring, but I think it's a wonderful idea for them to organize such a safe area for the kids."

Michael spoke up. "How can you say it's safe when all we ever hear is how dangerous those creatures are?"

Sirius thought for a moment before replying. "It can be unsafe when the proper precautions aren't taken."

Michael raised an eyebrow at the venomous glare he was receiving from Paige but remained nonplussed. "Are you so sure that they remember every step to safeguard humans every moon? Judging by all the werewolves I've met, they don't hardly think anything out before they act."

Sirius glanced at Vickie and Phil, who only looked at him with mild curiosity. "Oh? How many have you met?", he asked trying to keep calm.

Michael scoffed. "I've met enough. The question here, though is do you honestly believe that these creatures could possibly do everything in their power to protect people like you and me before each transformation?"

Sirius took a deep breath, and couldn't help but say. "No, I don't think they are protecting people like you. I believe that they are protecting themselves from us."

Michael snorted. "Us? What do they have to fear from us?", he asked as he challenged Sirius with a dark look.

The animagus matched his gaze and replied, "Too much ignorance and never enough tolerance." Michael moved to speak but Sirius cut him off. "I'm sorry, you wanted me to reassure you. With someone as diligent and thorough as Paige on the job, you have nothing to worry about from this pack.", he finished with a smile for Paige and noticed that both she and Randal were ready to speak up should Michael say anything more.

Vickie stood up and started gathering dishes. "Alright boys, that's enough."

Sirius wiped his mouth with napkin and stood up. "Would you like some help?", he asked as he watched her busy herself.

Vickie smiled. "Of course I would. Paige never wants to help me with the cleaning up, but I think she might now."

Paige handed her plate to Sirius and started herding the children outside. "Guess again, Mother. If Orion wants to deal with stinky dishwater, he can. I'm going to keep the kids outside like I always do so they don't drive you crazy.", she responded and ducked out the front door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius and Vickie made short work of the mound of dishes they dirtied at lunch and he even mopped the floor for her. Once that was done, Vickie shooed him out of the kitchen saying "Go have fun, I'll finish up."

He shook his head. "No, ma'am, I'll stay. I don't mind, really."

Vickie smiled and started wiping down the counters. "No, you go have fun. Paige will be getting the kids ready for a hike about now. Go help her keep track of them, she'll need as many adults around as possible."

Sirius brightened. "A hike? That sounds lovely. I haven't been on a hike in years."

Vickie waved him away and he walked to the front door. He was just about to walk onto the front porch when he heard raised voices coming from the family room.

"Mike, if you would learn something about these people before you opened your mouth, you might rethink a thing or two. Maybe if you did that, you would realize what an idiot you are.", Paige growled.

Michael yelled back, "I don't need to learn anything. I already know enough. They are dangerous monsters."

Paige smirked and crossed her arms. "So is stupidity. You don't seem to have a problem with that though."

Michael replied, "You were bad before, but now you've got that bleeding-heart liberal telling you even more crap. And you're buying it! What do you think Mom and Dad think of him and his pathetic views on your little friends?"

Paige clenched his fists. "Mom loves him, she thinks he's great. You know what? Maybe if they taught us a little more tolerance of other people's opinions, just maybe the world would be a better place.", she yelled and stormed upstairs.

Sirius watched all of this and followed Paige upstairs. He knocked softly on her door and heard he say, "It's open."

He went in the room to see her sitting on her bed, pouting. In her arms was a worn teddy bear with a plaid bow tie. He raised an eyebrow at her and she scowled. He laughed and closed the door before sitting next to her. "So, I'm a liberal? I thought I was a social democrat."

Paige gave a short laugh and sniffed. "Don't listen to him. He's always a little drama queen."

Sirius chuckled and put an arm around her. "Well, don't let him get you down, luv. He only acts like this because it bothers you. Trust me as an older brother I know these things.", he said and took the bear out of her hands. Eyeing it, he set it down on her pillow. Paige sniffed again and slumped over on the bed. "I know he does, but that doesn't make it any better right now."

Sirius patted her shoulder and brushed the hair out of her eyes. "What can I do to make you feel better?"

Paige shrugged. "Can I curl up with Padfoot? I really liked that last night."

She looked up to see Padfoot sitting on the bed, his tail wagging furiously. She scooted against the wall and threw an arm over the big warm dog as he curled up next to her. Giving a contented sigh, she soon fell asleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_They were running through the desert, the moon high in sky. Black Mane turned suddenly, sighting a rabbit. Pixie raced to catch up with him, the scent of fear radiating off the prey. _

_Black Mane anticipated a turn and caught the quarry in his jaws. It gave a final scream before the wolf broke it's neck and began eating. Pixie trotted up and sat down, her purring making the wolf look up at her. She trilled and sauntered over to the rest of the pack. Padfoot came up and whined before nudging her with his snout. Pixie growled and flicked her tail in an agitated manner, signaling for him to back off. _

_Padfoot paid no attention to the warning and licked her neck, nuzzling her as he did so. Pixie snapped at him and he shied away for a moment. _

_He came back and she growled a warning as she took up a fighting stance. He whined and trotted away to Moony. _

_Pixie went to Quiet Paws and Brown Tail, swatting them both in the head before bolting. They chased her for a bit, pouncing on her when she finally collapsed on the ground. They nipped at her tail and ears, earning a swat to the nose before sauntering off in search of food. _

_She was brought out of her slumber sometime later by Padfoot. He tugged on her paw and yipped, trying to get her to follow him. Pixie stood up and stretched before yawning and looking at him. Padfoot yipped and the two trotted off over the land. _

_The came upon a cow carcass and Padfoot nudged her forward. Pixie approached cautiously, sniffing the air first and then the cow. Deciding that it was fresh enough, she ripped it open. After eating her fill, she laid down and watched as Padfoot began to eat. _

_After he was sated, he lay down a few feet from her and gave her a sideways glance. She was curled up in a ball, facing away from him. Her ears pricked up when he crawled towards her and she lifted her head. He nuzzled her chin and throat, making his apology. Pixie pulled away, chirping her displeasure. Padfoot didn't give up, though, and was soon curled up beside her fast asleep. _

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paige woke up her face being licked. She pushed Padfoot off the bed and rolled over. He barked and put his paws on the bed, sniffing her ear. He woofed, earning a swipe to the snout. "Go 'way", she mumbled and rolled onto her back. He hopped up on the bed and licked her stomach. Paige pushed him away again so he moved down a bit. He nosed her crotch and got the reaction he wanted. Paige sat up, yawned, and lifted his face up. "That's something you'd have to be in human form to do. Why do you want me awake, anyway?"

Padfoot looked out the window and Paige followed his gaze. Michael was revving up the engine of his motorcycle, ready to leave. She sighed. "Do you even know how to ride one? Even if you do, he wouldn't let you ride it. He's more protective of it than he is over his own children."

Padfoot whined and put his head on his paws, shaggy fur falling into his eyes. Paige patted him on the head. "Aw, don't be like that. It's a very expensive bike and he doesn't want to damage it."

Padfoot snorted and turned back into Sirius. "My bike was better.", he stated.

Paige rolled her eyes and sat down at her computer. She turned it on and waited for it to boot. Sirius sat entranced, he'd never seen anything like this before. She checked her email and got off. Walking to the door, she noticed the look of wonder on Sirius's face. Stifling a smile, she chided, "It's just a computer, Sirius."

He looked up at her, eyes wide. "Can I do that?"

Paige looked at her watch and then back at him. "I'll show you how at home. For now, we need to go on a hike. I have to work in a few hours."

Sirius stretched and yawned. "Alright, luv, sounds good."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The horde of kids burst through the door, excited by their hike. A weary Paige and Sirius followed after, still trying to contain them. Alex followed purposefully staying a few steps behind the chaos. He had started warming up to Sirius, after noticing the tattoos on his arms. Apparently, they meant that he wasn't as straight laced as he appeared.

Paige paused by the kitchen counter, noticing several containers of leftovers and shook her head. "Mom, you don't have to feed me. Kate, Rose, and I can all cook."

Vickie wiped some hair out of her eyes and nodded. "I know. It's just Randal living here with your dad and I, we won't eat all of this."

Sirius eyed the food and gave Vickie his most charming smile. "Not to worry, I'll eat it all, Mrs. Pierce."

Vickie hugged Paige and patted Sirius's arm. "Please dear, call me Mom."

Sirius grinned. "Any request you make will be granted, Mom."

Paige giggled. "Oh my gosh, you've adopted another one. How many surrogates do you have now?"

Vickie gazed at her daughter with a lofty expression, making it almost impossible to tell the two apart. "None, they're all my children."

Paige shook her head and walked to the family room, where her dad was watching television. "Bye, Dad, have fun with the big screen."

Phil hugged his daughter and shook Sirius's hand. "I already have. It's football season.", he said earning a laugh from Paige.

Sirius looked at the television and back at Phil. "It's been nice to meet you, Mr. Pierce. Thank you for the fantastic lunch."

Phil smiled up at Sirius from his recliner. "Please call me Phil. It was interesting to hear your viewpoints on Paige's friends."

Sirius nodded and took the food from Vickie's hands before saying a final farewell.

Paige followed after, saying, "Bye, Momma. Bye, Daddy. See you in a month."

**A/N: Oh well, you got to love family. Nothing like a good old Gondorian family reunion, I'll get the lamp oil, you fetch the lighter. Oops…wrong fanverse. Thank you Bagenders. And now for something completely different…**

**Hmm…where to begin? Well, first Hornhead's computer died. Then Hornhead misplaced the opening of this chapter and tried to convince me that I had it. And finally, I started a new job which has left me very little time to type and lots of time to work in a casino. Needless to say this fic has not been abandoned; it is just slowing down a bit. So thank you for your patience and for reading thus far. **

**Also a warm thank you to our reviewers for both Chapter 25 and Intermission. **

**Chapter 25**

**Amanda: Thank you for the encouragement it makes us feel all warm and fuzzy. **

**Surfergurl16: Not to worry, there is more Paige and Snuffles action on the way. Though, my lawyer has suggested I not say when because of certain escaped convicts that keep sending us howlers. Anyway, thank you for the review. **

**Sassafras:  They are cute aren't they. As far as puppies go, werewolves (at least in this story)have a set fertility cycle because wolves have a set fertility cycle and both halves have to be fertile for a pregnancy to occur. So puppies are a possibility if lemons occur in February or March in the story timeline, otherwise they just get lots of practice time. (evil giggle)**

**MissMoony16: Never try to steal a werewolf's man, it gets really messy though he is very, very cute and sweet. (Leans over and checks Remus out) I mean if you could put literary characters on a "Guys I'd like to Shag" list I think he would be right up there with Mr. Darcy and Faramir. (Growling is heard to the left of Prof. Pendragon) But then he belongs to Kate so I really wouldn't want to do anything to upset her. Miss Gardener could you please lower your wand? **

**Jen: You always write really cool reviews, so I'm usually at a lost of where to start. So I guess I will start with a question. What is this cannon which you speak of? Sirius isn't dead. No, really he's not. He's at Radio Shack, the commercials are on cable constantly. Sirius is at Radio Shack, I guess Remus hasn't gotten the funds together to get him back yet. Oh well, I guess Da' Nile is just a river in Egypt and Luxor is just a hotel in Vegas for some of us. **

**Anyway on to Remus, he is very considerate and gentle. Which is partly a werewolf thing, they really are against harming their mates. Partly personal experience thing on my part, because I have been lucky enough to know a few really considerate men (keyword being few), whom I've modeled some Remus's personality quirks after. Part of it is the age card, Remus is 36 so he is going to be a little more mature than most men just starting off on the relationship adventure. And finally, it was her first time so he was being a gentleman and a very giving lover. As things progress, I really don't think she will have to ask a second time.**

**Lightning Rain: Yes, the rough patch is over well for a few chapters anyway. And lots of fluff is on the way. Woohoo!**

**Katarina McGonagall: Thank you for the review, I will try not to discriminate against Sirius but since he's not my character (evil giggle) so I really can't help his feelings of alienation and social inequality. **

**Intermission**

**Lightning Rain: (Blinks) I know sometimes we scare ourselves. **

**Miss Moony: Hornhead wishes me to convey the following message. "You can do whatever you like with Dumbly, just don't tell us any particulars! PotionsMaster69 would like pictures, though." **

**And that is all I'm going to write for the night. As always, thank you for witnessing our madness and reviews are most welcomed. Cheers—Prof. Pendragon.**


	28. The In Between Place

**Disclaimer: Sirius Black and Remus Lupin are the literary children of J.K. Rowling; however, we are still waiting to find out who the father is.**

**Warning: Sexual language. **

Chapter 27: Pull up your pants, Clayton.

They had been driving for about half an hour, when Sirius spoke up. "Paige, why did you ask me earlier if I had performed oral sex?"

Paige grinned. "I thought you didn't want to talk about it?"

Sirius shifted in his seat, she was right. "Well, luv, as uncomfortable as I am about it, I have a feeling it will come up eventually." Paige raised an eyebrow and Sirius smiled. "Well, one can certainly hope."

Paige smiled in return and patted his leg. "Yes, one can hope. So what of it?"

"Well," Sirius started as he ran his hand through his hair, "why were you asking?"

She shrugged and fiddled with the vents on the dashboard. "Well, it's good to know about a potential partner before sex. That way, you know if they could be a risk for you as far as sexually transmitted diseases. I knew you had had three partners, but oral sex can be thought of in a different way."

Sirius mulled this over for a moment before asking, "How many men have you been with?"

Paige bit her lip and responded, "Well…more than you. I don't have any STD's, so don't worry."

"Is that the only reason?", he asked.

Paige glanced over, a coy smile on her face. "No, of course not, I had to make sure that's something you're not opposed to doing. I happen to like oral a lot."

Sirius grinned. "I do too, luv.", he responded, putting his hand on her leg. His fingers caressed her as he looked her over.

Paige scooted his hand up her leg, then rested her palm on the stick shift. "Your arm was in the way, I couldn't get around it in an emergency.", she explained.

He raised his hand a little and brushed against her center. Paige's legs opened a little wider and Sirius stroked her harder. "Am I in the way now?", he asked in amusement.

She shook her head and stilled his hand. "No, but I won't be able to concentrate much longer if you keep that up."

Sirius pulled his hand away and crossed his arms in a pout. Paige looked over, noticing a bulge forming in his pants. Her hand traveled to his lap, gently skimming his fly. She unzipped his trousers and slid her hand in to grasp the semi-hard penis inside.

She stroked him awkwardly, his pants making the action difficult. She didn't have to wait long before he propped himself off and pulled them, along with his underwear, down. Her strokes were better now and she earned a moan from Sirius. She looked over to see that his eyes were closed and he was gripping the seat tightly. Reading all the signs, she pulled away just before he came.

Sirius looked over at her incredulously. "Why did you stop?", he asked. Paige smirked and looked outside the car. Sirius looked around, they were back at the apartments. "Well, you're going to finish me, aren't you? Please?"

Paige raised an eyebrow and shrugged, before getting out of the car. She reached into the backseat to retrieve the food and then shut the door. "I gotta get to work, babe. Otherwise I would."

Sirius hurriedly pulled up his pants and climbed out of the car, remembering to zip up only after Paige pointed out his open fly. "But, I really need to finish.", he pouted.

She laughed as she climbed the stairs. "I'd like to finish myself, but I'm just too busy tonight."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kate's leg hooked on some pillows, knocking over an empty take-out container. "Oops", she squeaked as she made a grab for Remus.

"Not to worry, it's empty.", he said reassuredly and pinned her to the floor.

"Let me up.", she playfully growled.

Remus chuckled and nipped at her ear. "And what if I don't?", he teased.

"I will be forced to huff and puff and blow your house in.", she said with a giggle, while trying to displace his balance by moving her hips.

"Hufflepuff! And her I thought you'd be in Gryffindor, though, your blowing skills are quite exemplary.", he said impishly, fighting to hold her still.

"Now where were we?", he asked suggestively, waggling his eyebrows.

"You promised to tell me about your friends.", she coyly stated.

"Very few of them are left, dearest.", he replied softly, the light dimming in his eyes. "I would rather talk of happier things this evening."

Kate stopped struggling and gave him a gentle smile. "Who was your first friend in school, then?"

"Oh, that's easy. Lily Evans, she was the first person I met on the express. We were both outcasts of sorts, so we stuck together.', he said with a broad smile. "Even after Sirius and James adopted me; we were still close. She just accepted everyone."

Kate ran her fingers down his cheek. "She sounds perfect."

Remus let out a deep laugh. "Far from it, she snorted when she laughed too hard, she would always steal my chocolate, she stole the covers, and she snored."

"And how do you know about the snoring and cover stealing activities of your best friend's wife?", she asked as she quirked an eyebrow.

"Well, there was many a night when we would fall asleep in the common room studying. Our head of house would usually just throw a blanket over the two of us, evidently we were overly trustworthy and extremely boring. But in spite of that, Lily was a great lady." He bent down and kissed Kate's forehead. "She found out about my condition in 6th year. And do you know what she said?"

"What?', she said lovingly, capturing his lips for a chaste kiss.

"Well, that explains the bitchiness once a month.", he said with a wide smile. Kate laughed and he continued. "She never brought it up again, just accepted it as part of me." He looked whimsical for a moment, before Kate reversed their positions.

"Constant vigilance, my love.", she said coquettishly.

"Dear Gods, you sound like Alastor.", he said with a twinkle in his eye. "That reminds me, Albus says you need to be gentler with Order Members. Tonks was half-dead from fright when she got back"

She quirked an eyebrow. "Really? I guess I will have to try harder next time."

"Kate.", he growled. "You need to learn to play nice."

She bit her bottom lip and started to pout. "But I always play nice."

He chuckled and rolled her under him. "You always play nice with me, you need to play nice with the other Order members."

'Fine.", she pouted. She turned her face to the side and looked away from him.

"Don't pout, it's quite unbecoming.", he said with mock severity and kissed her cheek. Balancing his weight on one arm, he used his free hand to draw her gaze back to him. "Anyway, I'm quite fond of the way you play with me.", he stated, a blush creeping over his face. "You feel…I mean you felt brilliant."

Kate stretched and wrapped her arms around her bashful mate, pulling him on to her before kissing the tip of his nose. "Thank you for a wonderful day."

Remus let out a contented sigh. "Thank you, dearest. I'm sorry I…"

She quieted him by placing her finger on his lips. "It was wonderful. Stop worrying.", she sweetly commanded as she moved her finger away.

"I can't promise, dearest, but I will try to stop worrying. I just wanted you to enjoy it as much as I did. I'm just being selfish I guess, you felt so incredible and I just don't want you to swear off having sex.", he said rather sheepishly, reminding Kate of a lovesick teenager.

She let out a soft sigh and rolled him onto him back. "Why would I ever do that? We fit so well together, it is just a little snug at the moment that's all."

Remus furrowed his brow. "I am sorry about that, I really didn't want to hurt you."

Kate placed kisses and licks along his jaw line, causing him to relax a little. "You didn't hurt me, so stop worrying and enjoy the moment.", she whispered in between kisses. She slowly dropped her hand to his waist and began massaging him through his trousers.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius sighed and readjusted himself. That woman doesn't play fair, he thought as he whimpered in frustration. He was walking towards the hall, when his ears perked up at the sound of laughter coming from the dining room. He quickly walked closer to the door and placed his ear against it and gasped. Silently stepping forward, he pushed the door open and stared at Kate splayed across Remus.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kate smirked at her lover and then licked her lips. "Your fingers were quite nice and your mouth is very talented. I just think that I am going to have to get used to the size of harder and larger things.", she said coyly, giving him a squeeze to punctuate her statement.

Remus let out a low growl. "Well, we will just have to practice then.", he said and pulled her into a possessive kiss. They paused their snogging as they heard a strangled sound from the doorway.

Remus looked up to find Sirius staring at them with his mouth agape. "Sirius, how was your trip?", he politely managed.

"Um…Fine. How was your day at home?", Sirius asked feebly.

"Oh, wonderful.", Remus replied with a bright smile and pulled Kate in for a quick kiss on the lips, causing Sirius's jaw to drop.

Paige walked into the living from the hallway. "Sirius, what are you doing?"

Sirius looked at the animagus and then pointed into the dining room. "They…they…no fair. I want to have sex."

Paige let out a nervous giggle. "Sirius, I don't think the chairs have had sex."

"Paige, have you gone bonkers?", he exclaimed.

"I'm not so sure you should be the one asking that question right now, Sirius.", she replied.

"I was talking about Kate and Remus", he snapped back.

"Oh!", she exclaimed. "Hi Guys!" She paused for a moment. "Kate and Remus had sex?"

Remus grinned at Sirius and then chuckled. Kate cast her mate an admonishing look. "We're in here, Paige.", she called out. "There is extra Thai food in the fridge if you want it.

"You didn't answer my question.", Paige called back.

"Yes, we made love.", Remus replied and lovingly stroked the side of Kate's face.

"Well, Katie I'm happy for you and you too, Remus. It's about fuckin' time.", she replied teasingly, ending on a note of exasperation.

"Sorry to have kept you waiting, Paige. We had a few mixed chemical signals.", Kate said with a laugh.

"What's this?", Paige questioned and walked toward the dining room to see Kate and Remus lounging on the floor in front of the fire. "What are you talking about, Kate?"

"Nothing to worry about. It's been taken care of.", Kate replied as she rolled off Remus and sat up. Remus quickly followed suit and pulled her on to his lap.

"Sirius, what is she talking about?", Paige asked.

"I'll tell you later, luv.", Sirius replied.

The room fell into silence as Paige and Sirius looked on just in time to see Kate snuggle closer to her mate and Remus grace her with a shy smile that reached his eyes. Sirius blinked back a tear, completely moved by the scene. _I haven't really seen Moony this happy and unguarded since we graduated_, he pondered. _No, actually, the last time I saw him this content was when he was holding Harry the night before we decided…_Suddenly the silence became overwhelming for him and he blurted out "So just where did the Thai food figure into all of this?"

Paige covered her mouth with her hand. _Why did it have to be so silent in Azkaban?_, she silently asked the universe.

Remus tried to stifle a laugh but his attempt proved futile, when Kate started laughing into his chest. Remus regained his composure long enough to say, "About six hours later for dinner, Padfoot."

"Oh, just checking. It's in the fridge right?", he asked casually.

"Careful Sirius, there might be some foreign substances in that.", Paige said with a smirk.

Sirius paused for a moment to look over at the pair of giggling werewolves before going in for the Thai food.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The fire in the dining room grate had burned down and the pair of werewolves were snuggled together, dozing on the nest of pillows. Paige had left for work an hour before and Sirius was currently in her room, leaving the house relatively silent.

Kate startled awake as the phone rang. Quickly she wriggled out of Remus's embrace and ran to pick up the phone in the living room.

She cleared her throat. "Hello? Oh hi, Paige. What's up? Okay, hang on a minute." She gently set down the phone and padded down the hall to Paige's room.

The door was open and Sirius was sprawled across the bed. She quietly crept in and cautiously opened up the desk drawer.

"Looking for condoms?", Sirius playfully shouted, causing her to jump a few inches.

Kate spun around, clasping her chest. "Sirius, you startled me." She leaned down and pulled out a black book. "It's not condoms, but it is a bit late for those anyway.", she said with a wink and bustled out the door.

She picked up the phone. "You still there? Tom's number is international code 86 standard number 436-75921. Anything else? Ok, give Clayton a hug for me." She hung up the phone, and headed back to Paige's room.

Sirius stared at the werewolf as she entered the room and replaced the book in the drawer. "Kate, just how experienced is Paige?", he asked in a solemn tone.

Kate looked up from the desk. "I really don't know for sure, Sirius. I think you should just ask her, I mean it's not too uncommon of a question nowadays."

He looked down at his hands for a moment. "I don't want to sound to forward.", he said shyly.

Kate let out a sigh and moved to sit next to him. "She's experienced, more than I am anyway but that really isn't exactly saying much is it? What exactly do you want to know?"

Sirius looked over at her and gave her a bright smile, knowing he had worn her down. "How many guys has she been with?"

She frowned and looked at her lap. "I really don't know, Sirius. A fair share, I guess."

He let out a loud sigh and glared at the werewolf. "Have I ever told you how incredibly like Remus you are? I want details, Kate."

"I don't know, Sirius. It has never been my place to ask.", she snapped, wishing he would just ask Paige these questions. He looked up at her and gave her his best puppy dog eyes, the ones that could even break McGonagall. "You aren't making this easy. Fine, but I strongly recommend you just ask Paige." Kate sighed and stood up. "If I were looking for that kind of information, I would check out her black book unless she told me specifically not to."

Sirius smiled in triumph. "The book you were just looking in?", he queried.

"Yes, it would be a good place to start but you aren't going to like what you find there. There are some things that are better left to trust and first hand accounts.", she replied and crossed towards the door.

"I'll take my chances. Thank you, Kate", he declared as he watched her leave.

"You're welcome, Pandora.", she called out over her shoulder as she shut the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paige arrived at Clayton's house and felt a little guilty about what she done to Sirius. She had timed it just right, slowing her speed when she thought he was getting close. The end result was exactly what she'd wanted, he was left unsatisfied and wanting while she was amused.

The only problem was she felt bad for doing it. Normally, she wouldn't give the poor guy she was dating a second thought afterwards. This time, however, her conscience was getting the better of her. She didn't like it one bit. Normally, her idea of fun was to tease and torment a guy until he was ready to look else where. Normally, it was only after all this had happened that she would take a guy to her bed. Normally, she'd have so much fun with her actions that she would work on more than one guy at a time.

This was not a normal situation, though. Sirius was like her normal interests in many ways. He was handsome, physically fit and well off, just like them.

On the other hand, he was very different. He didn't seem as disposable as most of the others. He had the ability to make her laugh, even when she was in her worst moods. He could be very endearing and sweet when he wanted to be, his compliments and comments sincere.

He even valued her as a person, really wanting to know what she thought. Of course, she could be wrong about this one. He couldn't stand silence, so he could just want to avoid it and found this to be the best way.

This lead Paige to thinking of Azkaban, Sirius had been there for twelve years when most people died within the first two. This fact alone meant that he was probably wasn't the sanest person. There was an abandonment issue that he managed to hide most of the time, but it had definitely come out the other night.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Clayton slammed a book down on the coffee table, breaking Paige from her reverie. "Are you going to be like this all night!"

Paige slumped further into the couch and smiled. "Maybe I will, maybe I won't. Maybe later on, I'll shave your eyebrows off while you sleep."

Clayton picked up the Play Station controller and shook it. "We have some serious Spyro to play, here! Stop brooding!", he yelled.

She chuckled and waved him on. "It's one player, Clay, start it up. I'll brood, while it's your turn."

Clayton rolled his eyes, making Paige throw a pillow at him. "Don't be such a teenager!"

He stuck out his tongue and turned around. Hooking his thumbs in his shorts, he exclaimed "Look! I'm a werewolf and it's going to be a full moon!"

Paige hurriedly closed her eyes, knowing he would go through with it. "Clayton Marie Adams! You pull your pants up NOW! I could get fired."

She opened her eyes and Clayton asked "Marie? My middle name is John."

Paige giggled. "It fit and it certainly got your attention. Anyway, what did you think of Remus?"

Clayton shrugged and turned on the system. "He's cool. He's Kate's mate, right? That's why he was with us last night?"

Paige nodded. "Yeah, they were seeing if they were compatible."

He moved to say something but paused. "Paige, there's someone outside."

She motioned for him to get into his hiding spot and peeked outside.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus finished warding the front door and headed down the hall to check on Sirius before turning in. The animagus was passed out on Paige's bed, curled around one of her pillows. Remus pulled the covers up over his friend and headed to his room.

He smiled to himself and entered the room to see Kate already bedded down for the night. Closing the door, he changed into his pajamas and slipped into bed behind her.

"Hmmm…good night, beloved.", she hummed, leaning against him.

Remus wrapped his arms around her and kissed her cheek. "Good night, my Kate. Sleep well.", he whispered, before sleepily mumbling Nox.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius tripped over a rock, bloodying his knees on the jagged earth. He stood up and shivered in the freezing wind. The sunrise to the East and the sunset to the West did nothing to warm the plains.

The mist surrounding him swirled a bit, his view clouding. He stood still until it passed and was rewarded with the sight of someone walking in the distance.

He called out, his voice resounding over the land. The figure stopped and Sirius hurried over.

He looked at the haggard man before him. "Thank you for stopping. You're the fourth person I've seen in as many days." Sirius passed, looking out at the never moving sunrise and sunset. "Well, I think it's been four days. Where are we?", he asked the stranger.

"The shadow realm.", the man responded, glancing about wildly.

Sirius looked around, puzzled. "But then why am I here? I never performed any dark magic."

The stranger shrugged. "Don't know. Listen, I really need to get going. It's never safe to stand in one spot for long."

Sirius nodded and watched the man take a few steps before hundreds of claws reached out of a blob of shadow, dragging the screaming man off into the West.

Sirius gasped and sat up, his heart pounding in his chest. He looked at the empty space in the bed next to him and wished Paige was with him. He gazed around the empty room and got out of bed, his thoughts on the one person, who had comforted him after dreams like these.

**And now it's time for the author's note by Hornhead.**

_**A/N: WOOHOO! We've put another chapter out within a month of the last one! Go us! **_

**_Feigning Innocence: Paige's sister, Cashlan, is married to Bella's brother-in-law. She went to England when Paige was ten to find herself a proper pure-blood husband, and found him. As for Sirius's reaction, I had a very clear picture of what that would look like when I wrote it. You'll see more of this, Remus hasn't found out yet, remember? (evil grin)_**

**_surfergurl: Sirius and Paige fluff! Yay! Finally! Paige's family is pretty awesome, each in their own way. I know, because I've taken quite a bit of time to develop them. (Just the names alone took quite a while)_**

**_jenonymous: Yay! You've registered! Now to start posting... _**

_**Sirius and Paige have taken the time so far, partially because of a reason that has been named in this chapter. She really is an evil little bitch, isn't she?**_

_**If you want to make your characters cannon, by all means, go ahead. Please clean up after yourself when you're done, fanfic characters make an awful mess. Hehe. Who's to say that your Sirius wouldn't be canon? Mine might not be exactly like the books, but then the Sirius in the books doesn't spend any time in Vegas with a woman who's interested in him, either. I'll grant that he is slightly on the silly side, but I like that about him.**_

**_Katarina: Isn't he so cute? I think he's adorable, myself. The controversy issues came up because I suddenly thought up a great line and wanted to use it. Plus, Paige's family is pure blood, so they would have quite a few of the pureblood prejudices that she seems to have gotten past. _**

**That's all for now, folks. Stay tuned for yet another exciting installment of Vegas, and find out whether or not Clayton keeps his pants up!**


	29. Be Gentle, Little Bees

**Disclaimer: Hello, all. Don't own it, don't really wish I did, because then I'd be even more disturbed by some of the stuff I find on AFFN and restricted section. (Shudders) For now, though, we are just borrowing Sirius and Remus and promise to return them almost whole and only partially used.**

**Warning: Violence, magic, racial issues, and spell-o-tape**

Chapter 28: When It Rains, It Pours...

Kate's eyes snapped open as the alarm under her pillow started buzzing. She turned her head to have her view of Remus blocked by Sirius's nose. She shifted to find the animagus sprawled between her and her mate, his limbs flung over both their forms. It took a moment for her to remember how he got into that position, his face turned towards her and his chest flat against the mattress. _At least it's better than his famous knee against my kidney and elbow in Remus's ribs position, _she thought sleepily as the alarm vibrated at a more fevered pitch.

Gathering her wits, Kate turned off the alarm and shimmied out from under Sirius. She then dropped to the floor and crawled over to Remus' side of the bed. "Beloved", she whispered as she gently shook his shoulder.

He adjusted in his sleep. "Funny, I didn't know monkeys had forks.", he murmured.

She giggled before kissing his cheek. "Remus, we need to perform the ritual, now."

"Interesting, but doesn't mining effect banana harvesting; the ones in pajamas are the best.", he mumbled before pulling a pillow over his eyes.

Moving closer, Kate nipped at Remus's ear causing him to sit up.

"Call off the hedgehogs, the spiders have gravy!", he shouted before the room came back into focus.

Sirius simply grunted and rolled over, commandeering Kate's side of the bed and the entire down comforter. "The earwigs make all the chutney so I can live in a cloud. Be gentle little bees for wasps make fuck-all."

Remus scratched his head. "Earwigs make chutney?"

"I don't know, do spiders make gravy?", Kate asked with an impish grin.

"What?", he replied as he stretched.

"Never mind", she said and stood up. "We have to open the jar and then you can go back to sleep."

Remus stood up and wrapped her in a hug. "Will you be joining me?"

"I wish I could but I need to go to work today.", she whispered as she nuzzled his neck.

"Alright, dearest. But only if you promise not to let that git get to you and to return to me as soon as possible.", he purred into her hair.

"I promise I will come straight home as soon as I get off at six.", she purred and kissed his cheek. " I will also leave you a list of contacts to call so you don't get too bored.", she replied, punctuating her statement with a yawn.

"Are you sure you can't stay? I think you could use the rest.", he said concern flooding his voice.

Kate gave him a knowing smile and pulled him towards the window, stopping only to pick up the clay jar from the dresser. The pair held the jar between them as the pre-dawn light turned the clouds various shades of purple and pink. As the first rays of dawn filtered into the room, the seal on the jar exploded with a flash of white light, illuminating the entire room.

Sirius groaned in his sleep and covered his head with a pillow. "James, you stupid wanker, cover up the bloody disco ball before the griffin wakes up.", he growled as the light diminished to candle like glow.

"Hogwarts must have been interesting.", Kate said with a smirk before turning the jar over in Remus's hand.

"Well, the seventh years in Hufflepuff already had a bear.", he said innocently causing Kate to giggle. He then righted the jar and turned it over in her hand.

Kate closed her hand around the object that fell from the jar and placed the now empty vessel on the windowsill. She and Remus locked eyes and smiled at one another. "You go first.", they said simultaneously.

Remus chuckled. "You go first", he gently commanded.

Taking a shaky breath, she opened her hand and gasped in awe. The blood Moony had given had transfigured into a flat crystal disk in the shape of a stylized sun. In the center of the sun, there was a carved representation of the world tree linking the heavens and the earth. Kate held the piece so it caught the light, causing the little sun to reflect the golds and oranges of the summer sun. Where the tree was carved, the light shone a deep garnet. "It's beautiful, Remus", she whispered.

Remus gave her a shy smile and slowly opened his hand to reveal a silvery white full moon. He carefully turned the piece over to reveal a phoenix rising from the flames of a large bonfire in front of the moon. As he held it to the light, the moon took on an opalescent quality and the flame shown with orange and red with undertones blue. The phoenix sparkled in a wide range of reds and golds, seeming to soar against its backdrop. Clumsily he wiped a tear from his eye and pulled Kate into a tight embrace, not finding the right words to say.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

By the time Paige arrived back at the apartment, the sky had clouded over and a gentle misting of raindrops could be seen over the valley. She hobbled in the door and started for her bed. Peering into her room, she found it to be empty. Hoping to find someone, anyone to give her hand, she closed the door and headed to Kate's room.

Looking inside, she saw Remus on his side hugging Kate's pillow and Sirius laying face down over him. She laughed at the sight of them, each breath causing pain to shoot through her body.

The wizards on the bed stirred and looked at her, taking in her battered appearance. Considering that she was on crutches, her leg was in a brace, her head and hands were bandaged; the guys were justifiably shocked.

Remus jumped up. "What happened?", he asked as he guided her to sit on the bed.

Paige smiled weakly. "Evidently, Kevin Costner movies aren't the best guide for being a body guard."

Sirius kneeled before the animagus and eased the shoe off of her good foot. "What? Who's Kevin Costner? Did he do this to you?"

Paige winced as she laughed again. "No, just a bad joke. I'll be fine by evening, don't worry."

Sirius gently laid her back and wiped a strand of hair out of her eyes. "What happened? Is Clayton alright?"

Paige gave a short nod and winced. "Ow, I shouldn't do that. Clayton is fine. I was attacked by nine fuck-head know-it-alls, whose idea of a good time is to play hide the silver in the werewolf."

Remus cut in. "How badly were you hurt? Are there any special instructions from the healers?"

Paige smiled. "The important thing is I'm okay. I had just passed out when the aurors arrived. If they hadn't I wouldn't' be as well off as I am now. I still have a broken leg, three cracked ribs, a mild concussion, and my arm will be somewhat fragile for the next three hours." The two men stared at her dumbly ands she added "Oh, and I burned my hands."

Sirius's jaw dropped and he asked, "Okay, so what are the instructions for you? Why couldn't they fix everything right away?"

Paige waved to the living room. "I've got another potion to take at 10:30. It will kind of mess with me, so don't get worried if I start mixing my words up. I'm not to go to sleep for another hour, because of the concussion. I can't grip or lift anything, and I am not to put my weight down on my leg under any circumstances until at least 6:00 tonight. I was also told no rugby until after I sleep."

Sirius grinned. "Rugby? You asked about rugby?", he queried, slightly dazed by all the information that had been thrown at him.

Paige giggled and held her side. "Nope, that's just what I call sex when I'm trying to be covert about it. It just sounded funny in this situation. Can you get my next potion?"

Remus left the room and Paige looked at Sirius. "Can you get me my cell phone and a glass of tea? I'm really thirsty and I need to call Kate and Clayton." Sirius smiled reassuringly and walked out to get the phone.

He walked back into the room to see her drinking from a vial. She laid back and sighed. "K, I'll start talking funny in a moment. Don't pay any attention to it, I have a reaction to this particular potion every time.", she warned and reached for her phone.

Sirius handed it to her and watched as she dialed Kate's office. After about a minute, she shook her head and hung up. "No one's anshuring.", she proclaimed, causing Sirius to chuckle. He sat down next to her as she called Clayton. "Damsit, no one is anshuring.", she whined and hung up. She gave a big yawn and looked at the clock. Sighing, she stared at the ceiling for a while and brightened when the doorbell rang.

Clayton came into the room a moment later followed by Remus. The young werewolf sat on the bed next to her. "Are you alright? What did the healers say? Why aren't you still in the hospital?"

Paige smiled. "Firsh of shawl, I'm fine. The eelers said I'll be fine by donight. I'm not in the hoshpital 'cause I raised hell about comin' home."

Clayton smirked and tired to hide a laugh, but was unsuccessful. Paige glared at him and turned her head away, making the situation all the more amusing to him. He gave her a hug before motioning for Sirius to give him a moment alone with her.

Remus led Clayton out a few minutes later. The boy flopped on the couch next to Sirius, unshed tears in his eyes. "Is she really alright? She wouldn't tell me anything other than that she wanted a glass of tea and then she told me I need a haircut."

Sirius chuckled and patted the boy on the shoulder. 'She's fine now. Sure, she was in a fight at work and all, but it wasn't that bad.", he reassured.

"I guess she hasn't told you everything, yet. She almost died, all because I wanted to stay home last night instead of going to the safe house."

Sirius frowned "What? Alright, tell me what happened."

Clayton looked at his hands and sniffed. "I was playing a video game and I heard a noise outside. Paige told me to go and wait in the closet, my safe spot when I need it, and went to investigate. I took her cell phone with me and called the office to get her backup. The next thing I heard from anyone was that I needed to come out and see if I knew any of the attackers. I went outside to see a lot of blood on the ground, by the smell of it most of it belonged to Paige. They told me what happened and I've been anxious about her ever since."

Sirius furrowed his brow as he listened. "What did they tell you?"

Clayton drew in a breath before replying, "They told me that she was attacked by nine men and wouldn't have lived more than an hour if she didn't receive any medical attention."

Sirius's eyes widened. "Dear God, she didn't say anything like that."

Clayton nodded, a tear running down his cheek. "They only caught six of them, three of them are still out there. They were after me. They wanted me dead and they almost got her instead. People think I'm this terrible monster, but the real horrors are hidden inside themselves."

Remus took a step towards Clayton, a sympathic smile on his face. "Well spoken, Clayton. Although, I fear you have learned that lesson at too young of an age. It is knowledge of people's inner workings that will keep you alive in life and grant you the compassion for others you will need to keep from going mad." Clayton looked up at the older wizard and gave him a watery smile.

Sirius patted the teen on the shoulder. "Paige is strong, she'll be alright. Even if she wasn't, I think she'd stay alive because she's too mean to die.", he joked.

Clayton laughed and shook his head. "You have no idea how right you are.", he replied and sniffed. "That's the worst I've ever seen her.", he continued quietly.

Remus sat next to the younger werewolf. "She'll be fine. Now have you slept at all?" Clayton shook his head. "Do you want to rest or would you just like to sit up for a while?", he asked, feeling rather protective of the young man before him.

Clayton thought for a moment. "I wanna stay here. Do you mind if I sleep here?"

Sirius stood and walked to the kitchen. "Go ahead, there are two beds in the spare room that aren't being used. I'll wake you when Paige is better."

Clayton wordlessly walked down the hall. Sirius gave Remus a lop-sided grin as he filled a glass with tea. "Poor kid, he looks exhausted."

Remus sighed. "He's a strong young man. He'll pull through, he just needs a few hours sleep."

Sirius chuckled. "More than a few hours, but you're right. I'm going to go keep an eye on Paige."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus sat in an arm chair next to the phone, sipping on tea as he listened to the witch on the other end of the line. He was on his twentieth call of the day and had successfully recruited fifteen members for the Order from the list Kate had left for him. He hung up the phone after thanking the witch on the end for her time. He sighed taking a moment to enjoy the sound of the steady beat of the pouring rain; it had been coming down in sheets for the past hour and didn't look like it was going to let up anytime soon. Taking a swig of tea, he dialed the next number on his list.

Kate stumbled in the door a few minutes later, carrying a file box and looking like a half-drowned kitten. Droplets of water spiraled down her curls, dripping on to her cloak and face. Remus looked up, flashing a bright smile that quickly faded as he took into account her appearance.

"Is everything alright?", he mouthed still holding the phone up to his ear. Kate nodded and set the box down. Remus jerked his head towards the hallway and mouthed "Bedroom". She mumbled a quick spell to unlace her boots and kicked them off, before padding down the hall to their bedroom.

Walking in, she saw Paige sleeping in her bed and Sirius reading in the chair next to her. Kate wrinkled her nose as the smell of Paige's injuries hit her. She strode towards the bed and looked over her roommate. "What happened?", she quietly asked.

"Hmmm?", Sirius responded, not bothering to look up from his book.

Kate cleared her throat. "Sirius, what happened to Paige?", she repeated more forcibly.

Sirius turned the page. 'There was an attack last night. Nine men were after Clayton."

She swallowed hard and brushed some wet curls out of her face. "Is he ok?", she stammered.

"He's fine, he's asleep in the guest room.", he said sounding almost bored.

"How badly was she hurt?", she said in a whisper.

"Clayton said she almost died.", he said matter-of-factly and turned another page.

Kate kneeled next to the bed. "Why is she home then? They should have kept for at least twelve hours."

Clayton stepped behind her. "They tried but Paige raised hell so they gave her a Mithra's Light potion."

Kate turned and looked at the young wizard. "Are you alright?", she asked shakily.

"Better now I've slept some.", he answered with a yawn.

Kate stood and led him to the door. "You can lie back down if you like. We'll wake you when she comes to."

Clayton nodded and went back into the other room.

She turned to Sirius. "Do you want to watch her or would you like a break?"

Sirius looked up from his book and waggled his eyebrows. "Why, what did you have in mind?" , he asked smoothly, his smile dropping when he finally saw her.

She sighed. "I don't know. I thought you might want a drink or a bathroom break."

Sirius got up and tried to walk casually towards the door. "Ok, she's boring to watch anyway." Kate simply nodded and turned back to the animagus sprawled on her bed. Sirius quickly walked down the hallway to the living room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius strode into the living room to find Remus glaring at the inside of a box by the front door. He walked behind the werewolf and glanced inside to find nothing really out of the ordinary, a stapler, some photos, diplomas, some spell-o-tape, and a few other odds and ends.

The two friends looked up at each other. Sirius cleared his throat. "She's a little shaken up. You might want to check on her."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus walked into the bedroom to see Kate kneeling beside the bed, stroking Paige's hair. She had shrugged off her cloak. He shivered at the sight of her, she had been soaked clear through, her blouse clung to her like a second skin and was almost transparent. Her skirt didn't fair much better.

He stepped behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "You should really dry off, you'll catch your death.", he murmured. Kate shrugged and he cast a few drying spells on her.

"Thanks", she said with a weak smile. "She's so drained, they probably came close to loosing her at the clinic."

"That is what Clayton said.", Remus stated thoughtfully.

"When it rains, it pours I guess.", she said wryly. She was running her hands over Paige's body, and occasionally making motions as if she was pulling something off of the animagus. She started to hum gently and her motions became more precise.

"What are you doing?", he asked,

"Close your eyes and you tell me.", she responded gently and continued running her hands over her friend.

Remus closed his eyes and saw the auras of both women silhouetted against the bed. Paige looked almost faded compared to Kate, who was pulling small black, red and green thorns off of Paige's aura and sealing the holes in her shields that were leaking energy. He opened his eyes and stared dumbfounded at Kate for a moment. _She knows Reiki, _he thought.

Kate shrugged. "Hexes leave holes in the energetic body and a nasty residue that attracts other things, which can cause infections and other …complications."

He nodded and watched as Kate mumbled something under her breath and placed her hands over Paige's heart sending a surge of energy through the animagus. Holding her position for two minutes, she flooded Paige's body with energy. Kate finally stemmed the flow of energy and fell backwards.

Remus deftly caught her before she hid the floor. "Let me help you.", he whispered and scooped her up into his arms. He carried her to the chair and then situated her into his lap.

"Where did you learn that?", he finally asked.

"I finished my NEWT's early and entered university late, so I had time to be trained in different healing methods.", she replied, looking at Paige.

He smiled and started rubbing small circles on her back. "So what are you? First or Second degree?", he asked conversationally, trying to distract her.

"Third degree, Master status since 1985.", she answered factually.

"That is wonderful, you could teach others then.", he brightly.

Kate gave a hollow laugh. "A lot of good it does me.", she said and pushed off his lap. She walked down the hall and passed Sirius in the living room on her way to the balcony.

She stared down over the ledge at the water pooling on the sidewalk and angrily picked at the stucco on the railing. Letting out a heavy sigh, she hurled a few pieces down into the water.

Remus followed her out and stood in the doorway. "I'm sorry this happened, Kate. I'm sorry Paige was injured. I'm sorry, they came after Clayton.", he paused and looked at her thoughtfully for a moment. "And I'm sorry about your job."

"It's not your fault, you have nothing to be sorry about." She gave him a forced smile and then continued, "Really, no worries, we are all survivors. That's what we do, we survive. We get the crap kicked out of us and we keep going in spite of it all", she said bitterly and looked out across the complex into the downpour.

"You'll find another job, dearest.", he said moving closer.

She gave him a sad smile. "I know I will. It just won't be what I want. No one seems to want a monster around their loved ones these days." Remus moved to say something, but she held up her hand. "I excelled on my NEWT's at the age of fifteen. I have been trained as a Healer, Reiki

Mistress, and Potions Mistress. I have Muggle degrees in Psychology and Social Work. I also have three years experience as a social worker and tonight I will be talking to John about a bar tending job at his club because all I am evidently qualified to do in this world is pour drinks, wash glasses, and show overly intoxicated patrons the door.", she said with a hollow laugh.

"Kate, calm down. It really isn't that bad, you are an inspiration and…", she cut him off with a dark look.

"An inspiration? Of course, why didn't I see it before? I am a credit to my race, aren't I? Well, guess fucking what? All of the training and schooling doesn't matter in the end. I can be the most pristine example of everything good in the Wizarding world and it won't fucking change the God damn fucking fact that I am still a werewolf and none of it fucking matters. The best I can hope for is working at a few werewolf friendly locations and occasionally patching up people and creatures that won't be let into a respectable hospital because it is more honorable to let them bleed to death in the gutter than for respectable witches and wizards dirty their hands by caring for them.", Kate was shaking with rage by this point and her voice nothing more than a rough whisper. Remus wrapped his arms around her and she struggled to get away. "Let me go.", she growled.

"No.", he replied gently and kissed the top of her head. "I love you too much, I won't let you go." With those words, all of her walls came crashing down. The wall of professionalism Kate had built up around herself since she had been asked to resign that morning and Lockhart had ever so politely informed her that she could have her job back if she were willing to let him fuck her during the lunch hour. The wall of being a nurturer, who just took care of others and didn't have time to acknowledge the emotions threatening to break her calm façade, which was erected when she saw Paige laying there. And finally, the wall of anger at a world that seemed to have nothing but contempt for her and all she loved. It all came crashing down and Kate broke, knowing she couldn't keep him out. She buried her face into Remus's chest and sobbed like she had never been given the chance to cry in her life.

For his part, Remus just held on to her and stroked her hair. "It's alright, dearest. We'll find a way through this together. No matter what happens.", he whispered lovingly.

Sirius decided to take this as his cue to cheer Kate up. He burst onto the balcony covered in spell-o-tape, which caused his face to contort in several different directions. "Kate, I think there is something wrong with me. I'm having a few problems."

Remus pulled Kate closer and glared at the animagus, his eyes flashing a dangerous shade of gold. "That is the understatement of the century.", he growled.

Sirius blinked and looked at the floor. "Right then, I think I will look in on Paige.", he said quickly and backed into the dining room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius adjusted another book from the bookcase, and levitated the slinky to the top of his make shift staircase for the fourth time that afternoon. He had to hand it to Kate, the box she brought home did contain some interesting toys and all her books did come in handy. Although, he still couldn't figure out why she took everything out of her office.

Paige looked on as he set the slinky in motion. "Do you realize I've watched you do this for the past half hour?"

Sirius turned to look at her and his face lit up. "Do you realize I've been doing it for the past three?"

She let out a warm laugh, which caused her to wince. "No, I didn't realize that."

He gave her an appraising look. "How are you doing?"

"My eyes keep wanting to cross, but other than that I'm fine. How are you?", she replied giving him a sleepy smile.

Sirius crossed his arms and took on a very solemn posture. "Today, I learned that it hurts to take tape off your eyebrow.", he declared before sticking his tongue out at her.

Paige giggled. "How is Clayton?"

"Asleep in the guestroom.", he replied casually.

She chuckled and began to sit up with some difficulty. "Cool, I'm going to go scare the shit out of him."

Gingerly, she stood up and walked to the guestroom; to his credit, Sirius followed her every step of the way. Crouching down, Paige took a running leap and landed on Clayton. Unfortunately, Clayton acted on instinct and placed Paige in a stranglehold.

Wincing, Paige let out a low groan. "Ow. I shouldn't have done that."

Clayton quickly let go of the animagus and glowered at her. "Don't do that to me!", he shouted.

Paige attempted to wriggle off him without any success. "Ow", she whimpered.

Kate and Remus ran into the room wands drawn, but after seeing Paige laying on Clayton quickly sheathed them.

"I see you are feeling a little better.", Kate drawled as she helped Paige off of Clayton.

"I can move, so I'm feeling a lot better.", Paige replied happily and then did a double-take. "What the hell are you doing home?"

Kate gave Paige a silencing glance and nodded her head towards Clayton. "I will tell you later, but first, Clayton your parents called and you need to head back home. You can use the fireplace in the dining room."

Clayton rolled his eyes and sighed. "Fine."

Kate gave him a small smile and turned to her mate. "Remus, why don't you walk him out? I need to give Paige her next round of Potions." She gave Clayton a quick hug. "You be safe, young man."

Clayton nodded and gave Paige a quick hug. "No more full moons for your protectors.", Paige chastised causing him to laugh.

Remus then gave Kate a quick a nod and walked Clayton to the dining room. When they were both out of the room, Kate pulled a turquoise potion out of her pocket and handed to Paige.

"Thanks, Katie, you are a life saver.", Paige said with much relief as the potion kicked in.

Kate shrugged and gave her roommate a shy smile. "I try. How bad was it?"

Paige shuddered. "Half an hour and I would have been dead. I have to call my contacts. This wasn't a random attack."

"Doesn't sound like it. What did they give you besides Mithra's Light?", Kate asked more concerned over Paige's current condition at the moment.

Paige shook her head. "I don't remember. I think they gave me two doses."

Kate sucked in a breath through her teeth. "You were in Searchlight, weren't you? Help would have come a lot faster in the city."

Paige nodded. "Clayton wanted to stay home for once and I didn't think there was a threat."

Kate patted her friend's hand. "That's understandable." She pulled Paige's cell phone from her pocket and handed it to her. "Here make some calls, and I will talk to Dad tonight to see if he has heard anything." She then returned to her room to set her bookcase to rights.

Sirius gave Paige a sheepish grin. "I think I better help her clean up, luv. I will be back."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius and Kate came running into the room as they heard Paige scream. "That stupid little fuck! What the hell did he think he was doing!" was all they could make out before the animagus just started yelling obscenities.

Kate raised an eyebrow as Paige composed herself and dialed the phone. "Hello, Mrs. Wynn. Can I talk to Clayton for a minute? Thank you…What the fucking hell did you do, dipshit? So you think it's a good idea to go chatting up pureblood bitches? I'm sure you did a great job of kicking his ass, but honey you should have stayed away. Yes, that's why they were after you…Okay…You get back to your homework…Bye."

Sirius winced. "Don't you think you were a little hard on him?"

Paige and Kate both turned to Sirius. "No!", they shouted in unison.

Paige furrowed her brow and tried to calm herself. "Because he saw a pretty girl, he drew attention to himself. They weren't going to kill him, Sirius."

He looked between the two witches; Kate looked rather disillusioned for some reason and Paige looked positively livid. "What were they going to do?", he asked hesitantly.

Paige huffed and threw up her arms. "Evidently, Lord 'I'm a cheap imitation of Hitler' Voldemort has been getting bored and wanted a new toy. Clay drew attention to himself as always, and the Deatheaters thought it would be fun to play 'how long can the werewolf last'!"

Kate rubbed her temples. "I will be back", she said in a hushed voice.

Paige glanced up at the werewolf. "Try to make him understand this time."

Kate sighed. "I will do my best."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paige went back to her room and sat down on the bed, smiling as Sirius followed her into the room like a puppy. "That boy always seems to do what he can to get me in trouble."

Sirius sat down in the chair at her desk. "How many times has he done this to you so far?"

She sighed as she slumped over. "This year or total? He just can't seem to live with current standards. "

Sirius nodded and replied, "Complacency is a dangerous thing, luv. He shouldn't accept things as they are now."

Paige let out a short laugh. "I'm not saying he should accept them, but he can't resist even the smallest chance to push the envelope. He's always trying to show up 'the stupid purebloods'"

Sirius nodded. "That's a good thing, though. It means he'll be the type to change things for werewolves. He'll stop the prejudice."

Paige let out a short laugh. "Yeah, just call him Clayton Luther King, Jr.", she joked, then turned more serious. "I know he will. He's extremely intelligent, charismatic, stubborn and a born leader. He'll go far in life. For now, I just wish he'd stop beating people up."

Sirius barked out a laugh. "You know how many times James and I heard that about ourselves in school?"

Paige smiled. "How many times have you beaten up a man more than twice your age?" Sirius almost answered but stopped and Paige went on. "Yep, he did. Incidentally, Michael has only met one werewolf that he knows of. I guess he should learn what not to say to Clay."

Sirius quirked an eyebrow. "What did Clay do? Surely, Michael can best a fourteen year old boy?"

Paige laughed. "No, he couldn't. One of the perks of being a Generation kid is that you get taught how to fight extremely well." Sirius looked skeptical and Paige continued, "Test it out sometime you'll lose, I did."

Sirius smiled and went to the bed. "Are you sure you're alright?"

She smiled and nodded. "I'm fine, tired and still slightly achy but fine."

Sirius frowned. "Sleep, then. I'll read a book at the desk so I can get you anything you need."

Paige yawned. "I could definitely go for a nap right now.", she admitted as she laid back, sighed, and closed her eyes.

Sirius wondered at how peaceful she looked when, not ten minutes earlier she was yelling at Clayton so violently it had startled him. He turned back to his book and continued reading.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kate smiled at Sirius as he left to give the two witches some privacy. "Thanks, Sirius. You should be able to come back in a few minutes." As the door closed, she turned to the witch that was sound asleep on the bed. "Might as well get this over with.", Kate mumbled to herself before gently shaking Paige's shoulder. "Hey, hon. We had our talk."

Paige's eyes blinked open, and she let out a rather large yawn. "And?"

Kate sighed and sat next to her on the bed. "He promises to watch himself but he thinks the double standard is stupid and unfair, as always."

Paige snorted and sat up. "He always promises."

Kate twisted her neck so that it let out a loud pop and then rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Yes, but he was very scared so I think he will stick to it this time."

Paige shook her head. "I can hope."

Kate brushed some stray hairs out of Paige's face. "He will be good this time, you being hurt scared him senseless. Now, are you going to be ok?"

Paige nodded. "I'm fine, just a little upset that all of this was over a girl."

Kate sighed. "He's fourteen. How far would have gotten if every time you flirted it was an excuse for the purist moral majority to lynch or rape you? It's not an excuse but he's still struggling with it. He was bitten at twelve it's not like he's had it drilled into him from day one. He has freedom here, the minute he leaves the Valley it's gone."

Paige rolled her eyes. "You forget, I come from a family of purists."

Kate smiled and patted Paige's hand. "I remember, Paige. You would have gotten a stern talking to if you were that girl. And Clayton would have gotten what he deserved for being a half-breed that decided to get uppity with the wizards, a half-blood half-breed at that." Paige grimaced at Kate's choice of words. "Sorry, it hasn't been the best of days."

Paige nodded. "That's alright. What other precautions can we take?"

Kate's smile dropped. "Keep him in the city or send him to the Bay. Generation took out three Deatheaters near Decatur and Charleston last night. They were evidently celebrating something and said something to the wrong wizard, namely Clayton's uncle." Paige gave Kate a questioning look. "They asked him where they could find a Mudblood whore to play with to celebrate their victory over a blood traitor.", Kate said with a frown. "The Wynn brothers are not to be trifled with Paige, Clayton's dad worked for Generation for a couple decades before his son was bitten. The Wynn's were not too happy to hear about Clayton's situation to say the least. There is a hit ordered on all Deatheaters within 200 miles of the city. Remus is currently flooing Dumbledore to make sure Snape has his letter with him at all times. " Kate just stared at her hands when she had finished.

"So what are you up to tonight?", Paige asked, trying to change the subject.

"I thought I would take Remus to John and Abby's house to hang out for a bit. I need a reminder that only a handful of my clan actually work for Generation.", Kate said not meeting Paige's eyes.

Paige noticed something was amiss but didn't say anything. "Well, you have fun and we can meet up at the Peppermill for drinks later tonight."

**A/N: So, everyone, we've got a proposition to make for alla y'all. We've been beta-ing this ourselves for the last... yep, 29 chapters. We're tired of doing this ourselves and we were wondering, any takers on becoming the most esteemed beta reader two pennies can buy? **

**MissMoony: Isn't she, though? She's eeeeevil! EEEEEEEEEEEEVIL! Harry might find out about Sirius being alive, that still remains to be seen. Sirius's dream, on the other hand, will be explained in a few chapters. As for your teacher, hellifIknow.**

**Surfergurl: Is Remus Wooting in bed AGAIN! I thought I told him to use the bathroom for that. Honestly, he may seem so civilized and mature, but he loves Wooting. Strange fascination, but I guess everyone needs a hobby.**

**Jen: You just mentioned canon. Haha! Made you say it again! Vegas in your mind? You might want to be extra careful getting all the drunks and hookers out of there, they start emitting a sticky residue that never comes off and then you start collecting hair follicles. Not good for a healthy mind!**

_(Prof. Pendragon would just like to say at this point that Vegas is not full of hookers or drunks. First of all, Prostitution is illegal in Clark County. Second, you only have to worry about drunken tourists, who can't seem to remember which casino they currently are in. As illustrated by the fact that she has to answer the question 'is this the ?' at least four times a night. Bloody hell, you'd think they'd be able to figure it out between the name tag and the 7foot tall sign literally hanging above her head that reads Insert Casino Name Here . Sorry about that it's been a long couple of weeks. In general, Vegas is just like any other large metropolitan area)_

**Katarina: As long as everyone knows that it is NOT SLASH, then I'll admit that he's gone to Remus for comfort after those dreams. I don't think Sirius was hanging, so much as bobbing slightly in the breeze, but that could be a personal preference. Ah well, which ever way you'd like him. (Personally, I'd like him on a king size bed in the Bahamas)**

**Anyway... (fans self) Is it warm in here? What was I going to say? Oh yeah! Thanks for reading and you can either email me personally or review to tell us that you would like to beta. We really do miss quite a bit by doing it ourselves. That, and it gets bloody annoying. Bye for now! **

**Hornhead**


	30. But Mysterious Mysteries

**Disclaimer: Oh drat! We've run out of disclaimers, I knew this would happen. Hold on a sec, J.K. Rowling is English and therefore, smarter than us and has access to universal healthcare? Umm…we don't own it and pay no attention to the werewolves lurking in the hallway. **

**Warning: Sexual situations. **

Chapter 29: In the Swing of Things

Remus Lupin, accomplished wizard, duelist and scholar, was currently surrounded. Not that this was necessarily a bad thing, it was just very odd. Remus wasn't used to being the center of attention; he had always managed to blend into the background. Even in the classroom, he simply morphed into the structure of the class, acting the part of Professor R.J. Lupin. And here he was fielding a seemingly endless stream of questions from a pack of twelve teenage werewolves that were staring at him with eyes filled with wonder.

He took a deep breath before continuing, "Yes, I am fairly sure that Hogwarts does not employ a Chilean Batman."

A young boy with reddish brown hair, hazel eyes, and round wire rimmed glasses glared at him, waving a magazine about madly. "But Mysterious Mysteries says…"

"Oh shut up about Mysterious Mysteries, Uther.", the boy's twin sister snapped, rolling her eyes.

"Make me, Viviane. Just because you would rather dress in black and read poetry, doesn't mean the rest of can't have scientific pursuits.", he shot back before pushing her. She retaliated by placing him in a headlock.

Remus cleared his throat causing the two to break apart. "Now children…"

James interrupted, snapping at the thirteen year olds. "Uther, Viviane, behave yourselves." He then smiled at the visiting werewolf. "Some of us have very important questions for the good Professor.", the seventeen year old stated quite solemnly, using his hands to motion to the girls flanking him. "So are there tons of cute girls in England?", he asked with a wink, earning him several smacks from Maddy and Laura .

Remus chuckled at the scene before him. "I'm not sure I'm well suited to answer your question, the most beautiful woman I have ever encountered is from America. What do you mean by girls?"

James stuck his tongue out at Laura. "Human Wizarding girls of course, I mean werewolf girls are few and far between." He then kissed Laura's hand. "Rare and precious gems that they are." Laura blushed and ducked her head, rewarding James with a giggle.

Before Remus could answer, Abby called him into the kitchen. The children let out various pleas for him to stay. He smiled and raised his hands. "It seems as if Abby needs me, I will return." Rising up, he walked swiftly to the kitchen.

Abby chuckled as he unceremoniously plopped into a chair. "Thank you.", he whispered and set his head down on the table.

She bustled around the kitchen. "Well, don't worry too much. In fact you should be quite proud, I believe you have set a record by staying an entire half-hour. Most adults can't stand to be around the assembled swarm for longer than ten.", she said with a bright smile.

Remus glanced up at the werewolf matron. "I will try to take comfort in that. Are they always like that?"

Abby let out a hearty laugh. "No, they are occasionally worse. But as I said don't worry yourself, you are just popular." Remus gave her a puzzled look. "Well, the boys adore you because of the hunt the other night. Not to mention you are from the mysterious English Isles and you are mated to one of their favorite pack leaders."

Remus perked up at Abby's allusion to Kate. "Speaking of Kate, do you know where she's at?"

The witch snorted. "John is probably trying to talk her out of working at the club." Remus frowned in response. "It's not like that. He just thinks she can do a lot better than tending bar. The last thing he wants to see is her settling for less than her potential."

"The last thing who wants to see?", John asked as he stumbled into the kitchen.

"I don't know, why don't you tell me?", Abby replied coyly, earning a playful growl from her mate.

John wrapped her in a hug and kissed the top of her head. "Well, I talked her down to working part-time at the club and doing healing work on the side. In turn, she talked me out of turning Lockhart into a newt. And we both came up with a solution to handle Clayton."

Remus cleared his throat as John was distracted with whispering into Abby's neck. The older wolf snapped back to attention. "Sorry about that, she's in the last bedroom down the hall."

Remus nodded. "Thank you, John, Abby."

Once Remus was out of his line of vision, John let out a bark of laughter. "Don't mention it, my boy."

Abby playfully swatted his arm. "What was that all about?"

John feigned innocence. "I have no idea what you are talking about, Abigail.", he said gleefully and kissed his wife on the lips, before heading into the living room to request a favor.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paige rolled over and stared at the wall for a moment before speaking again. "I really hope John can do something for him."

Sirius set the book down and turned around. "Clayton has a good number of people watching over him, he'll be fine."

Paige sighed and nodded. "I know, but I still worry.", she said as she stretched. "I've got an errand to run. Do you want to come with me?"

Sirius nodded and followed her to the dining room, where she stopped in front of the fireplace. "Do you trust me?"

Sirius gave her a nervous smile and nodded.

She straightened up. "Good! Come with me, please."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kate was sitting cross-legged on the bed, quietly mediating when Remus burst into the room. She cautiously opened her eyes to find Remus looking at her wildly. "What did I do now?", she gently asked.

"Why does John want to turn Lockhart into a newt?", he demanded.

She let out sigh. "I don't know. He's probably hoping the three percent humidity will finish him off in a couple of hours."

"Kate", Remus growled.

"Lockhart saw the report that was filed when the police came to the apartment the other night. He issued the compliant that lost me my job and offered to retract it if I…"

Remus cut her off before she could finish. "I am going to kill that bastard! How dare he treat you like that!", he growled and moved towards the doorway.

Kate jumped up from the bed and wrapped him in a hug. Kissing him soundly before he could get out the door, she took his hands and moved them down her body. "Yours.", she whispered, breaking the kiss for moment. "Only yours."

"Mine", he growled and captured her lips in a possessive kiss. Breaking the kiss, he gave her a gentle smile. "Yours", he whispered, moving her hand over his heart. "I just love you so much, I don't want to see you hurt. He shouldn't have…"

She placed her fingertip on his lips to quiet him. "I love you, too. And I will not loose you to Azkaban or worse because someone simply couldn't keep his head out of his ass. I don't know what I'll do when…" It was Remus's turn to quiet her with a kiss.

They both were lost in the moment, when they heard the door slam and lock. Kate looked over at the door. "Oh drat!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The smoke cleared away and Sirius looked around. The room was spacious with white cloths over the hulking furniture. Dust covered everything only showing a few footprints that led to a door.

He gazed around for a moment before looking to Paige for guidance.

She shrugged and gestured to their surroundings. "Welcome to Montgomery Manor."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Laura, Viviane and Maddy stalked their quarry down the hall, looking quite comical trailing the young professor. They stood quietly in the shadows listening to the pair, Laura made gagging noises when the name Lockhart was mentioned. The trio crept towards the door when the room fell silent. They giggled as they saw Remus kiss Kate. Maddy gave a wicked grin and winked at the other girls before slamming the door shut. The trinity of trouble makers cackled as they set the wards on the door and merrily skipped down the hall to tell John about their job well done.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius gazed intently at the porcelain figure he'd found. It was chipped and the paint had all but flaked off, but it was still beautiful. The graceful arch of its hands reaching skyward reminded him of a bird taking flight. He turned at the sound of the door opening and nodded as Paige entered the room.

She grinned and walked over to him. "Having fun?"

Sirius looked back at the figurine and did a double-take, the girl was now curtseying. "What? How did it do that? Is this enchanted?", he asked the smirking woman in front of him. She laughed and responded, "This was the home of a prominent Pure-blood family, everything is enchanted."

He reddened slightly. "Right. So what's the rest of the house look like?"

Paige shook her head in amusement. "Come on, I'll give you the tour."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus looked up at the door from the bed. Kate was running her hands across the door frame; her frustration had caused her eyes to sparkle and her cheeks to flush. _She looks absolutely ravishing, _he thought.

"Stupid door.", Kate growled before throwing herself on the bed.

He cast her a roguish smile and gave a deep chuckle. "Whatever is the matter, dearest?"

Kate sighed. "We're trapped in her."

Remus made a noncommittal grunt and moved to start kissing her neck. "So what's wrong with being in here with me for a few hours? I can think of lots of things to keep us busy."

"Remus, we can't. We need to get out of here and we can't get out of here unless John or Abby deactivate the wards or we…Nevermind.", she said quickly, blushing crimson.

"Or what, dearest?", he asked in a husky voice, running his hands over her body.

"Remus stop.", she ordered pushing up from the bed. "It's a mating chamber. We would have to have sex to get out of the room. The room is set with a tracking spell, so if the door is warded with a mated pair in it…", she broke off, looking intently at her shoes.

Remus leapt off the bed and removed his jacket, tie and vest. "Is it hot in here?", he asked, casting longing looks at his mate.

"Remus, the room amplifies desire. John built it, so he and Abby could have alone time after their third child was born nearly twenty years ago.", she stammered moving against the door.

"So the emotion already needs to be there?", he whispered in her ear before attacking her neck with kisses and nips "I actually don't think the room is doing too much because I've wanted you since last night."

Kate swooned a little at his words and kisses. "This really isn't proper, what if someone walks in. I mean it's the middle of the day and it's not our home..."

"My goodness, are you getting shy on me Katie? You know, I find quite charming when you still managed to be a lovely lady even when being ravished." She blushed again and he ran his hands over her breasts. "You are so sweet, I could just eat you up." He sucked on her nipple through her blouse and bra for emphasis.

Kate gasped and tried to push him back a bit. "Remus, we really shouldn't …" He ignored her and began removing her clothes. "Please…we really need to…oh Gods that feels divine….", she pleaded.

Remus scooped her up and placed her on the bed. "Whatever you desire, my Kate", he sighed before divesting her of the rest of her clothes. He stood above her admiring her for a moment. "You have no idea what you do to me, do you?", he asked lovingly, trailing his fingers over her body. With a stiff wave of his wand, he removed his clothing and crawled over her.

Kate reached up and pulled him down on her, devouring his lips with her kisses.

He gently dropped his hand between them and moved it to her lower lips. He pulled away for a moment. "Do you want to just…", he broke off, his confidence waning. She kissed him again and centered his erection with her hand. That was all the permission he needed and swiftly thrust into her warmth. Their coupling was slow and gentle, Remus still wary about hurting her. He didn't fully let his guard down until she exploded around him, whispering her unending love and devotion for him in soft gasps.

She placed soft kisses along his neck and shoulder as he recovered on top of her. "Thank you, it was wonderful.", she whispered.

Remus chuckled and began kissing her again. "What makes you think I'm done with you, my Kate?", he growled working his way down.

She whimpered in response to his teasing kisses and rolled him on his back, straddling him just above his groin. "What makes you think that I wouldn't rather go for a ride?", she purred, causing him to moan. Kate sat up straight, her breasts swayed gently as she rolled her hips so her curls brushed against the head of his penis. He let out a soft whimper and she cast him a wide eyed and innocent look.

"Kate", he growled, reaching for her hips..

She deftly caught his hands and held them against the mattress. She then batted her eyes at him, while her hips undulated over his sex just out of reach of his thrusts. "Yes, beloved? Tell me what you want. ", she asked coyly.

"You are a horrendous tease, you know that?", he hissed and she circled her hips so her lower lips just skimmed the top of his penis.

"Please, dearest.", he whimpered. She gave him a shy smile and slowly lowered herself on him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A little over a hour after having the girls lock Kate and Remus in the back bedroom, John walked down the hall and deactivated the wards on the door. Cautiously he pushed open the door to discover, the pair naked as jaybirds and curled in each other's arms.

Remus looked up at the older werewolf. "She's still asleep.", he whispered.

John nodded and crossed to the closet and pulled out a dress for Kate and a suit for Remus. "Change into these and tell Kate to meet us at the club.", he softly stated and turned to leave. He stopped and looked at Remus. "And I expect you to take that suit with you when you go home.", he gently ordered and left the room, quietly closing the door behind him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus frowned at the mirror as he took in his reflection. He looked good, hell he hadn't looked this good in years. The Muggle suit from the 1930's with a long jacket and vest. It was a soft black suit with a red pinstripe, the shirt was a silvery gray color and felt like suede, and the silk tie matched the red pinstripe in the suit. The shoes were black dragon hide and the Wizarding watch, chain, and fob were solid gold. "This is all too much.", he groaned and ran his fingers through his hair, thinking of the expense of it all.

Kate placed her arms around his waist and hugged him from behind. "You look quite dashing.", she complimented, kissing his cheek.

"Thank you.", he said unsure of himself. "It's too much, though. I can't possibly borrow this."

"First, it was given to you. Second, it is not too much because you are worth it and it is a hand-me down anyway. No one has fit into that suit in over three years; it was just wasted hanging in the closet. And finally, when you no longer want it you will past it down to someone else, who needs it.", she said quite practically.

Remus shrugged. "I guess. Let me get a good look at you."

Kate stepped around her mate, showing off her crimson dress that matched his tie. It was a sweetheart dress with a full skirt that ended just below her knees, showing off her black stockings and shoes. "You don't think it's too short do you?", she asked self-consciously.

"You look lovely.", he reassured her and pulled her to his side in front of the mirror. "We make quite the handsome couple."

She laughed and gave him a slight playful shove. "Yes, but the question is a couple of what?", she called out as she raced down the hall to the fireplace.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A few hours had passed and Sirius had looked into every room, explored every closet and rummaged through the large pantry in kitchen. He was currently eating some Twinkies, he had found behind several large containers.

Paige walked in and blanched. "You're actually eating something that you found in here? Do you know how old that thing is?"

Sirius paused. "No.", he replied and went back to eating.

Paige grimaced and said, "Neither do I. The last time I brought junk food in her I was, like, eleven or twelve. No one else would have." Sirius shrugged and licked some cream off his hand.

Paige made a face. "Well, better you than me. What do you want to do now?"

Sirius stretched. "How about dinner? I haven't eaten hardly anything today."

Paige grinned. "So, only twice what a normal man eats, then? Well, you should be hungry!", Sirius rolled his eyes. "Ok, so let's eat at the Peppermill, while we wait for Remus and Kate."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Wolf and Fox was one of the more popular Wizarding establishments in Las Vegas despite being owned by an aging werewolf and eccentric red head. And when Remus and Kate entered through the front door, quite a few heads turned to watch their stroll to the bar.

Kate leaned over the bar. "Fox, I need to talk to you about a job."

A balding wizard with red hair stood up from behind the bar and looked her over. "So, John wasn't just too far into his cups when he talked to me this afternoon?", the man asked in an English accent that had been diluted through years of living in America.

"Yes, so what do you say?", she asked cheerfully.

"Well, I'm not one to turn down good labor.", he said with a wink, before adjusting his horn rimmed glasses. "Not to mention, you are a lot easier on the customers' eyes than I am." He turned and eyed Remus. "But, you aren't working tonight so enjoy yourself, John's reserved tables seven and six."

Kate nodded. "Thanks, Edgar.", she said softly and led Remus towards the tables filled a handful of adult pack members.

Oak stood up and looked Remus over. "So you are the werewolf that stole our Kate-der? You have my condolences.", he said with a smile.

"I wouldn't be talking if I were you.", Kate growled at the very large werewolf.

"It's because I'm a witch isn't it?", he sniffed.

"No, it's because you are a werewolf.", she whispered conspiratorially.

"Well, that's good. I was worried it was because I was married to a woman, who is a quarter giant and that wouldn't do at all.", he said before pulling a chair out for Kate.

"A quarter-giant?", Remus asked, glancing at Oak's wife, Raven, who couldn't be more than five feet tall.

"By marriage, I didn't know of course. I mean really how would I know that my wife would be married to me, a man named Oak with a mother, who was half-giantess, and a father, who was a werewolf.", he said gently. "But I won't hold it against her.", he finished nobly, causing the entire table to break out into gales of laughter.

Raven pushed her mate playfully. "Behave.", she growled.

"See that, just look at the violence inherit in the system. The little ankle biter is trying to repress me.", he teased.

"Oh, I love this song.", Kate stated a little too brightly and stood up. She led Remus to the dance floor. "Sorry, I don't want to hear them play fight for the next hour."

Remus spun Kate around the dance floor. "So he's a quarter-giant and a werewolf, how?"

Kate chuckled. "His mother was the product of a pairing between a giant and a wizard. And she fell in love with a werewolf, who lived near her in the wilds of New Mexico. They got married and had Oak."

"But werewolves and humans can't…", Remus started to say but thought better of it. "Let me guess, it was because his mother wasn't fully human."

"Correct.", she replied and spun away from him.

"Is he?", he asked as he caught her as she spun back to his arms.

"No, he's not an alpha. He can't have children and even if he could, Raven was bitten after puberty.", she replied sadly. Remus just nodded and they stopped to applaud the band before beginning the next dance.

Remus looked up to see Oak on one side of them and John on the other. The thought, _get her behind you, _suddenly came into his mind. Without giving it a second thought, he pushed Kate behind himself so she was surrounded by the three male werewolves. He spun around as he heard a cold voice come from Oak's side.

"Oh come now, gentlemen. I'm not foolish enough to try to take an already mated werebitch.", a male voice drawled. "I just wished to extend my congratulations and my hope that one day their offspring will help reshape our world." The platinum blonde male stepped forward and extended his hand to Remus. "Gaius Wald, and you are Professor Remus Lupin, correct?"

Remus gave the man a wary smile. "Yes, that is correct."

Gaius flashed a feral smile. "Wonderful. You should know that the horrors wizards have placed on our kind for centuries. It is my goal to stop this horrific system once and for all. While elevating our kind to their proper status."

Remus turned to see John escorting Kate back to the table and Oak balling his fists. "How do you plan to do that Mr. Wald?"

"By putting all of the human wizards, of course. I mean we are the superior species after all.", he said with a hollow laugh, treating the situation as if he were ridding his curtains of doxies.

"Well, if you will excuse me Mr. Wald, I think I need to see to my mate.", Remus said as politely as he could manage and returned to his table.

Oak followed close behind him. "Arrogant prick, someone needs to pound him into a wall a few times."

Remus just shrugged. "Not all werewolves are nice you know, most are right bastards actually.", he said taking, a sip of water.

John nodded. "Hence, why we have our little family to keep the bastards out." He shot a meaningful look at Remus. "And keep the good ones in."

Oak smiled in approval. "I almost forgot, can I see your tokens?" Kate pulled out her token and handed it to the craftsman. "If my work was half of this, I would be rolling in it.", he said admiring the piece before attaching a white gold chain to it. "Remus, can I see yours?", he asked and took the charm the English werewolf offered him. Oak studied the piece and laughed. "Hmm… I wonder what this symbolizes?", he said with a knowing smile before attaching it to a chain. He muttered a few protection and privacy charms on the pieces, and handed them back to their owners.

"Thanks, Oak.", Kate whispered kissing his cheek as he lifted the necklace over her head.

"No problem, I'm glad I could help. Now get out on that dance floor so I can snap some pictures of the two of you for the scrapbook.", he ordered.

Remus led Kate to the dance floor and the pair danced until well after midnight.

**A/N: So, we are getting closer to the end of the story just a few more chapters to go. And no Remus won't be hurting Lockhart anytime…soon, hehehe. Just FYI, Gaius is the name of the Roman Emperor Caligula. Wald means world and is in homage to the family name of the werewolves in Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. They are the Uberwalds of course and you can find them in the 5th Elephant. (Because Prof. Pendragon is an ubergeek). **

**A pretty laid back chapter for the most part, but stay tuned for next week's exciting installment Drunken Randy Englishmen featuring alcohol, edible lotion, and little red riding hood. **

**As always, we would like to thank you for reading this far and send out a special thank you to our reviewers….Here is the part where I answer the reviews isn't it. Drat, I'm tired and I never know what to say. **

**Miss Moony: Thank you for the lovely review. Yes, please have fun torturing Lockhart and just remember we will in the future as well. **

**Katarina: Thank you for your lovely review (and long as well…hehehe). Remus won't get a crack at Lockhart but he will get his comeuppance. Sirius is quite the funny fellow and is very sweet. The tape manifested weeks and weeks ago, and just found its way into the story, sort of like the next chapter that was written all the way back in October. Thank you for offering your beta services we will be taking you up on it, and you should be getting an email shortly outlining everything. It shouldn't take more than a half-hour a week. **

**Jen: By the Gods, woman. You are actually quite good with grammar! You're hired. We will be sending you an email as well. (Does a happy dance) Woohoo! We've got two betas. Anyway, we promise to stop harassing you with canons (cannons). And Hornhead did a very fab job with the Clay-Paige storyline didn't she. She is very awesome. **

**And that is all, as the handrails raise up please check for any personal belongs and please exit to the right of the theatre. As you exit to the right of the theatre, please leave a review in the comment receptacle provided. **

**Watch out for the first step, **

**Prof. Pendragon**


	31. Drunken Randy Englishmen

Disclaimer: We represent the Lollipop Guild. As such, we have no legal

rights to the Harry Potter series and do not mean to defy any copyright

laws, though we occasionally try to defy gravity.

Warnings: Sexual situations, language, and alcohol abuse…you've been

warned.

Chapter 30: Werewolves and Alcohol Don't Mix…

Remus led Kate around the dance floor, casting a boyish grin at his mate

as she giggled at his playful moves. After having one of the most

enjoyable nights of his life, he was literally beaming. Not only had he

had the opportunity to make love to the woman of his dreams, but he had

been warmly welcomed into a community. Not to forget, it had all

officially qualified as working for the Order because he had

successfully signed up over forty people.

Just as he spun her away from him, Kate collided with a waitress

carrying pitchers of butter beer. Both the waitress and Remus managed

to dodge the shower of caramel colored liquid.

Unfortunately, Kate was drenched in it. The dance floor fell silent,

waiting for her to react. She let out a mirthful laugh and helped the

waitress retrieve one of the pitchers. "I guess I needed another

bath," she said gently. The waitress cast the werewolf a weak smile

and scurried off to the bar.

Remus tried to hide his smile. "Sorry about that; are you all right?"

"Just a bit sticky, I think I could use a shower and a change of

clothes," she said, trying to make light of the situation.

"Right then, let's get you cleaned up. Shall we?" he replied.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paige twirled the dregs of her Jack and Coke so the dark liquid

illuminated into an amber color in the candle light of the restaurant.

"So what is the funniest prank you ever pulled on Remus?"

Sirius looked up at the young witch. "We never pranked Moony much. He

would sometimes get in the way; spoiling the fun and winding up on the

wrong end of something but James and I had an unspoken agreement

against being too rough on him after we found out about 'his

condition...'"

Paige arched her eyebrow. "What was the funniest thing then?"

"The last week of seventh year after we had finished our NEWTs, we got

him thoroughly pissed. He ran through Hogsmeade completely starkers,

singing 'God save the Queen' followed by a rousing round of 'Waltz Me

Around by My Willy.'" Sirius then fell over in a fit of laughter. "He

is completely mental when he is drunk. That same night he walked up to

Dumbledore's office and asked if he could use Fawkes to toast some

marshmallows."

Paige smirked at the animagus as a truly wicked idea came to mind.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus and Kate arrived at the Peppermill a little after one. Kate had

changed into clean clothes, but had convinced Remus to stay dressed in

his zoot suit. Sitting in a round booth, the pair waited for Paige and

Sirius to bring back some drinks.

Sirius stifled a laugh as Paige flirted with the bartender and convinced

him to add masking powder to cover the horrid taste of alcohol in her

order of chocolate mudslides.

When they returned to the table, Remus took a long swig from his drink.

"This is excellent, Paige. Thank you."

Kate eyed the drink warily. "Thank you, but you know I don't drink

alcohol, Paige."

The animagus gave a hurt look to the werewolf. "It's a virgin, Kate.

Don't get your panties in a bunch over it."

Kate sniffed the drink and didn't smell the alcohol. "Sorry, Paige,"

she said before taking a sip. "Thank you, it's very good."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Four mudslides later:

Kate was busy trying to unbutton Remus's shirt as he was loudly singing

the praises of the great and wondrous Harry Potter. After being ring

side for the past hour, Paige was hard pressed not to fall under the

table laughing. Sirius returned to the table with two more mudslides as

Remus was finishing his recount of Harry's third year.

Remus beamed at Paige over Kate's shoulder. "And then he flew Buckbeak

to Sirius and helped him escape the fate of the Dementor's Kiss.

Kate looked up from his buttons. "Why didn't Dumbledore save them?"

Remus turned to face her, but quickly became distracted by her neck,

which seemed all too kissable at the moment.

She giggled at his ministrations. "Why didn't Dumbledore save Sirius?"

Remus looked at his friends as an epiphany hit him. "Why didn't

Dumbledore save Sirius?" he asked to no one in particular.

Paige and Sirius laughed at the pair, it looked as if the floor show was

going to be kicked up a notch. Remus took a long pull from his drink and

continued. "Dumbledore is a master, the best wizard since bloody Merlin

and he sends thirteen year olds to save Sirius. What a lazy wanker! I

mean, who the fuck sends fucking third years to face dementors and

werewolves? That is just fucked up," he said as he shook his head in

dismay. "I would still be a professor if he weren't so lazy. I mean

fuck me, do people realize the hero of the Wizarding world is such a

blighter?"

Kate pulled him into a deep kiss. Breaking away for a moment, she

admired him with hooded eyes. "I would love to fuck you, handsome,"

she sad seductively.

Remus let out a rakish laugh that even impressed Sirius. "Oh, that

really isn't up for debate," he purred before snogging her soundly.

Sirius not so subtly cleared his throat causing the pair to come up for

air when the placement of Remus's hands caught the attention of a

waitress.

"Kate get off Remus, you are going to get us thrown out," Paige

chastised as the novelty of drunken werewolves began to fade.

Kate slid off Remus's lap and back into her seat. "But Paige, we were

only having fun. Come on it's not like you've never done anything like

that I mean. Remember that one time in Santa Cruz…" Kate stopped her

self, when she saw the way Paige was glaring at her.

Paige turned to Sirius. "Alright, werewolves are lightweights."

Remus used Paige's distraction to start snogging Kate again. Sirius

pulled him away from his mate. "Remus, do I have to get the chew toy?"

he admonished.

Remus pulled away from the animagus and pushed Kate so that she was

lounging against the booth. "No, Sirius, I already have one," he said

before he started licking and nibbling Kate's ear.

Paige sighed. "I think it's time we left before we are thrown out."

Kate pushed Remus off her and unceremoniously tumbled out of the booth.

Paige helped her to her feet and the group walked to Paige's car.

While Paige was unlocking the vehicle, Remus turned to Kate. "Your

blouse is the most intreguing shade of blue," he noted in a scholarly

tone.

This motivated Kate to pull her blouse over her head so she could

experience its blueness. This act in turn helped everyone in the area

to experience her bra.

Remus moved closer to Kate. "Kathleen," he admonished.

"Yes," she replied, gazing at him through the fabric of her shirt.

"You are going to catch a cold, let me help you," he stated as he

wrapped his hands over her breasts, causing the pair of werewolves to

burst into a fit of giggles.

Paige smirked. "Careful Moony, she could put out an eye with those

things."

"Quite right, Paige. Your brilliant sense of observation is truly

astounding. I will have to take care of them," he said with a boyish

grin.

Sirius grabbed Remus and pulled him away from Kate just as the werewolf

had bowed to give her nipples closer attention. "Remus John Lupin, you

will behave yourself," he snapped, scaring himself at how much he

sounded like McGonagall.

He pushed Remus into the car. Kate skipped over to the other side and

opened the door. Crawling halfway into the car, she placed her hand in

Remus's lap. "Why Professor Lupin is that a wand in your pocket or are

you just happy to see me?" she coyly asked, earning a chuckle from her

mate.

"Oh I'd be quite happy to show you my wand, my lovely Kate. I've been

told that my flick and swish is legendary," he said as he waggled his

eyebrows.

Paige pushed Kate the rest of the way into the car. "No playing with

wands while we are driving," she snapped and shut the door. She gently

rubbed her temples as she sat in the front seat next to Sirius. "Next

time, we get them drunk at home," she sighed and put on her seat belt.

Sirius glanced into the backseat and laughed at the sight of Remus

attempting to pin Kate. "You know, I think we could get them to do just

about anything right now," he stated conversationally to Paige. His

point punctuated by Remus flingingly Kate's bra into the back window.

Paige started the car and froze. A moment later, the wicked smile from

earlier in the evening returned to her face. "You know, Sirius. I think

you're right," she said before pulling out fo the parking lot and

heading towards Spring Mountain Road.

They pulled into the Adult Superstore ten minutes later. As the car came

to a halt, Remus and Kate, who were too busy snogging to bother with

safety belts, hit the back of the front seat.

Kate looked up and pulled her blouse down. "Are we home?" she giggled.

Paige piped up, "No, we're at a special store."

Remus looked at Paige from under Kate. "Brilliant!" he exclaimed,

before remembering himself. "Why is it special again?" he asked before

trying to pull Kate's blouse up again.

Paige smiled at him. "Because it has special toys you and Kate would

like."

Remus frowned as Kate batted at his hands. "But I don't need any toys,"

he said petulantly. "That's why I have my lucious Kathleen." He then

proceeded to flip her back up on the seat. "She's a fucking

fansh..fantshis... Brilliant playmate. She can do this thing with her

tongue..." At this point, Kate was growing impatient and cut him off

with a kiss.

Paige cleared her throat. "Come on you two out of the car."

The pair of werewolves broke apart for a moment as Sirius and Paige got

out of the car. As Paige's door closed, Kate and Remus quickly forgot

about their friends and went back to snogging like teenagers.

Paige and Sirius noticed they weren't being followed, when they got to

the enterance of the store. Sirius shrugged, "Oh well, we'll bring them

in later."

Paige led the way as they walked through the metal detectors and into

the store. "What do you want to look at first?" she asked as she

glanced over the clearance table.

Sirius pointed towards the far wall. "What are those?"

Paige started to nonchantly walk towards his query. "Porno mags. Jack's

favorite is Pirate."

Sirius gaped at the display. "Paige, what kind of store did you bring me

into?" he hissed into her ear.

She smiled at him and patted his hand. "Oh, I'm sorry. You're probably

not used to doing this kind of thing."

He glanced around. "There are naked people on the walls and I'm here

with a byrd."

Piage started laughing. "I've seen more naked people in my time then I'd

care too. The people on these walls are nothing I haven't seen before."

"Alright, luv. This is just something I've never down with company

before," he said, trying to sound casual.

"Come on let's go look at my favorite section," she chirped. Paige led

him to the backroom that contained costumes, lingerie, and bondage

gear.

"Am I supposed to were that?" he asked pointing to a leather collar.

"Only if you're good," she said with a strange gleam in her eyes.

He swallowed hard. "What do I wear if I'm bad?"

"You wear that," she announced, pointing to a frilly maid's uniform.

Sirius smiled. "As interesting as that would be, luv. I would rather see

you in that."

Paige walked towards the bustiers. "I already have that one, Sirius. If

you are really good, you'll see me in it, otherwise you know the

consequences."

"Well, luv, if you gave me a try you'd find that I'm always very good,"

he said with a wink.

Paige rolled her eyes and pulled out an emerald green and silver bustier

with light green lacing. "What do you think of this, Sirius?"

He glared at the offending garment. "Bloody hell, no." He moved away and

started inspecting the rows of costumes, finally pulling out a sexy cop

uniform.

"Nope," she simply stated. "I already have that one and my handcuffs

are real."

He quirked an eyebrow at her and continued to search. He selected an

angel costume and held it up for Paige to see. "What about this one?"

Paige smiled. "Oh, the things I have done in my angel costume...", she

started but paused. "Oops!" she exclaimed, suddenly remembering she

was talking to Sirius.

"Really? Like what?" he happily inquired.

Paige blushed. "Why don't we go check on Kate and Remus?" she quickly

asked and pulled Sirius with her out the door.

They walked outside to see a struggle going on in Paige's car. Jack had

opened the rear passenger door and was attempting to pull Remus out.

Kate was doing her best to show Jack back out the door.

"Get your dirty paws off her, you, you, perverted Marauder!" Jack

screamed.

"Fuck off, Jack. You overacting, repressive sailor!" Kate shouted back,

kicking him out of the car and slamming the door.

Paige ran over and grabbed him by the shoulder. "What are you doing now,

Jack?"

Jack straightened his waistcoat. "Saving Katie's virtue, you Scarlet

woman. She would have never placed herself in this situation if you

hadn't have given her alcohol," he proclaimed before attempting to

break free.

"You're one to talk, you kinky bastard. Leave them alone, Gerry," Paige

growled.

"First off, luv, it is Jack. Second, let me in that car!" Jack bellowed

as he grabbed Paige around the waist and attempted to pick her up.

Sirius clenched his fists and looked on as Jack shoved his hand down

Paige's blouse in an attempt to retrieve her car keys.

"Get the fuck away from her, Gerry!" Sirius spat, ripping Jack off of

Paige.

Jack fell to the ground. "I've got it!" he exclaimed just as Paige

kicked her spare set of keys out of his hand. Sirius then stepped over

to the pirate.

"Listen, mate. I've got no qualms with you...alright I've got a few

qualms but I support you and Paige. That pervy bastard on the other

hand..." Jack was stopped midsentence when Sirius punched him in the

stomach.

Paige pulled Sirius off Jack. "Orion, stop it. If you keep this up, the

police will be called," she hissed. Sirius just shrugged and punched

Jack in the face, breaking his nose.

By this point in the tossle, a hastily dressed Kate and Remus emerged

from the car.

Kate ran over to Jack and Sirius. "What happened?" Kate gasped.

"This perverted git was trying to feel up Paige," Sirius growled,

glaring down at the pirate.

Remus stumbled forward. "Padfoot, haven't you already felt up Paige?

Wouldn't that make you a perverted git as well?" he asked

philosophically.

Sirius let out a frustrated sigh. "Yes, but I had permission so I'm not

a git."

Remus turned to Kate. "Did I have permission, dearest?"

Kate smiled at him and kissed his cheek. "Yes, beloved." Paige laughed

at their exchange.

Remus smiled. "Good, I'm not a git either."

"Yes, you are a git and a pervert one at that," Jack snorted and

grabbed Kate's leg. "Kathleen, come on let's get you home."

"No, Jack I don't want to go home," Kate snapped and pulled her leg

away. "I want to stay with my mate."

Jack blanched. "Katie, come on. You shouldn't go into a place like

that."

Paige pushed Kate and Remus towards the shop. "You two go ahead, we will

meet up with you in a few minutes." Remus then pulled a reluctant Kate

towards the store.

"Kate, do not go in that store," Jack bellowed.

Paige turned and cast a silencing spell on him. "You two have fun,

we'll keep him busy."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kate and Remus ungracefully walked into the shop, drawing amused looks

from the sales clerks and suspicious looks from the few customers

wandering about. Remus blinked and took a step back as it finally as

the nature of the shop finally sunk into his alcohol addled brain.

"Kate, I really think this isn't a proper place for a lady," he

stammered, attempting to cover her eyes.

She broke away from him and openly studied the wall display of inimate

massage implements. "I thought you said you were average? You're much

bigger than anything in the average section," she questioned, looking

at the various sizes on display. Remus came behind her and successfully

covered her eyes as she broke into a fit of giggles.

The front clerk walked up behind them. "Can I help you find anything in

particular?" an elderly witch that was working as a sales assistant

asked. "We have a magical section upstairs, if you are interested."

Remus blushed. "No that will not be necessary. We are actually just

leaving."

The sales witch blocked their exit. "Sorry to hear that, we are having a

wonderful sale on lotions and body butters at the moment. Are you two

together?"

"Umm..well..." Remus stammered.

Kate pulled his hands away from her face. "Yes, we were wondering if you

have any books?" she asked gleefully.

The elderly witch beamed at them. "Why of course, dear. Why don't you

follow me and your boyfriend can pick you out something nice."

The saleswitch led Kate into the back of the shop, leaving Remus staring

at the marital aids in disbelief. When the she returned, Remus

was trying to feign interest in an artificial plant near the front

door.

"Any ideas on what to get your sweetheart?" she asked gently.

Remus blanched. "Madame, I don't believe it would be appropriate for me

to get her anything from a shop like this."

"Nonsense. You love her don't you?" she asked. He nodded, wobbling

slightly. "Well, this store is all about love..alright mostly about

love. Just think of what it took to get you in her, dear. You're

half-smashed, you must love her a lot. So what would you like to

pleasure the woman you love with?" He was silent and looked intently at

the floor. "Do you have any thoughts on the matter?"

Remus blushed. "Not really," he mumbled. "Just not one of those," he

said indicating the wall of personal massagers with a vague hand

movement.

The elderly witch patted his hand. "I'm sure you're more than enough for

her, dear. Now is there anything she really likes?"

"Well, we like the same things really. Books, comfortable bedding,

chocolate..." he said trailing off.

"Come with me then, I think we might have something that both of you

will like," she said with a wink.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paige wandered into the story, slightly concerned over the fact that

neither Kate or Remus had emerged after almost an hour. She saw Remus

off to the side reading the label of a jar of Honeyduke's chocolate

body spread.

She smirked and sauntered over to him. "Hey Remus, do you know what

that's good on?"

"I've never tried it but I've got some ideas," he said with a wink and

placed the jar in his handbasket next to some honey dust and several

small vials of flavored body oil. He pick up two of the vials. "They

were out of chocolate. Strawberries and cream or cherries jubilee?" he

asked the Animagus.

Paige stiffled a laugh. "I think Kate is more strawberry," she said

trying not cackle. "Do you know they have costumes in the back?"

"Hmmm...that's nice," he said studying the bottles in front of him.

"Wait a minute, what sort of costumes?"

Paige smirked. "Why don't you have a look?"

"Execellent idea, Kate's back there looking at the books," he said

before giving Paige a bearhug. "Thanks, Paige. You're a brillant

friend."

Paige smiled and watched the werewolf wandering into the backroom. "You

have no idea."

She followed him and noticed Sirius googling at the black leather

dresses in the far corner of the costume section. She was more

interested in watching the drunken werewolf, however. She slid behind

Remus and watched as he thumbed through a rack of costumes.

"No, no, no, maybe, no. Gods! Who do you have to bite in this place to

get a proper costume. Some of us have great plans that need to be put

into play.", he snorted before moving on to the next rack. "No, maybe,

maybe, no, definately not, no, no, bloody hell. You have got to be

kidding me, there in a fine establishment like this there isn't one

decent little red riding hood costume to be found. It's the Adult

Superstore for fuck's sake, some of us have women we want to eat," he

shouted causing a handful of patrons to take a step back. "Wait,

never mind, I found it. Sorry about that." Paige giggled as she got a

better view of the costume Remus picked out, it came complete with a

red hooded cape, a low cut peasant blouse, a short skirt, and a black

leather cincher.

Remsus stood up straight and walked determinedly to the counter. "Excuse

me, Miss," he said to the person behind the counter. A young man with

long brown curly hair turned to face him. "Oops, sorry about that, it

is a little hard to tell from the back."

The young man rolled his eyes. "Can I help you?"

Remus nodded. "Yes, do you have this in a larger size?" he asked as he

held up the size 2 costume.

"We carry that in up to a 5X," the sales clerk replied in a bored

fashion.

"Oh, not that big...just about," Remus tried to simulate Kate's figure

with an intricate pattern of hand gestures.

The clerk sighed. "Yes, sir. We have that in your size."

Remus laughed. "No, it's not for me. Hang on a tic," he said. Running

over to where Kate was standing, he slung her over his shoulder. "Her

size," he said patting his mate's bottom.

Kate looked up from her book for a second. "Hello."

The clerk did a double-take as he remembered Kate as one of Paige's

friends. "Do you know her?"

Paige walked up. "Jacob, stop giving him a hard time. After all, you're

the one who wore a bridesmaid dress to your best friend's wedding."

Jacob huffed. "I never did that, I had just promised to."

Remus shook his head. "Sir, I really don't care. I'm just interested in

getting this little lady into that costume so I can eat her properly."

Jacob turned his full attention to the werewolf. "What?"

"Well, she wouldn't let me before so all we got to do is shag and

although that was a truly fabulous experience, we are now tied. So I

really need to get that costume because I won't let her beat me," Remus

stated in a manner that seemed to be quite logical to him at least.

Jacob looked warily at his deranged costumer. "Umm...Just go up to the

front register and they will get you whatever you need."

Remus nodded at the young man. "Thank you, my good man," he said with a

gentel air, before walking to the front of the shop with Kate slung over

his shoulder.

Jacob shook his head and glared at Paige. "You really are surrounded by

the weirdest people, Paige."

Paige shot Jacob a meaningful look. "Well, I'm standing here talking to

a man, who is mistaken for a woman at least five times a night and has

had more men try to get into his pants than I ever have...You're

right, I am." she said before walking away. Sirius chuckled and

followed her.

Paige and Sirius found Kate and Remus by the front door. Kate was

showing Remus pictures from the book.

"Ok children, we are going now." Paige declared as she grabbed the

female werewolf by the hand and pulled her out the door. Leaving Sirius

and Remus to follow in their wake.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius watched the two inebriated and enamored werewolves stumble down

the hallway and into their room. He shook his head and sighed. They

made no attempt to hide the wards or silencing charms they placed on

the room, making him decide to try one last time to get Paige to

reconsider her decision not to have sex with him yet.

He turned to her, running his hand lightly down her cheek, and said,

"You know, that could be rather fun."

She pulled him closer and smiled. "There's pillows in the dining room,

why don't we use those?"

Sirius groaned and crushed his mouth to hers as his hands wandered her

body. The slender curve of her neck intriguing him. He ran his fingers

along it gently, causing her to flinch when he tickled her.

They inched towards the dining room, Paige barely remembering to lock

and ward the door on the way.

She undid the buttons on his shirt and yanked it off, throwing it to the

floor. Sirius, in turn, pulled the pins out of her hair and watched as

it cascaded in waves around her. He lit the candles with a word and

smiled as they gave the woman currently undoing his pants an almost

angelic look.

He pulled her down with him and lay next to her, pressing himself

against her curves. He unbuttoned the back of her dress, fumbling a bit

at first, and slid it off her shoulders. He watched intently as it

exposed her breasts to him covered in a pink balconet bra.

Tracing the edges of it, he kissed her deeply, probing the depths of her

mouth with his tongue. The taste of alcohol was still prominent in her

mouth.

Paige squirmed underneath him, releasing the undergarment still covering

her breasts. Sirius grinned at her before sliding his hands over the

peaks, amazed. He sucked and licked each one in turn, earning a little

gasp from her when he did one particular thing with his tongue. He

lavished them with attention, his tongue moving languidly over her.

Paige grew impatient and flipped them over, eager to get on with things.

She charmed their clothes away and gave Sirius an almost predatory smile

before pressing her body to his.

He grasped her waist as he kissed her again. Paige playfully bit his lip

before breaking away.

Sirius caught her arm and tried to pull her back but she resisted. "What

are you doing?" he asked, confused.

Paige knelt down, her face inches away from his arousal. "I'm giving you

your fourth blow job," she stated matter-of-factly.

Grabbing the base, she squeezed gently and felt Sirius tense beneath

her. His eyes were closed and his breathing erratic, anticipating her

actions. She took him into her mouth and heard a strangled sigh, making

her want to smile. He slid his hand up into her hair, fisting it when

she went deep. His hand stayed that way while she continued her

ministrations. Everything went fine for a minute, until Sirius suddenly

swore and simultaneously thrust and pulled her head down at the same

time.

Paige gagged and twisted away, calming her stomach before looking back

at him. "Don't do that!" she said as she put a hand on her stomach.

Sirius's eyes widened and he sat up to hold her. "I'm sorry, luv! I

didn't mean to, it's just that I couldn't think well and it felt so

good. Are you okay? Would you like to stop?" Relief ran through him

when she shook her head and he kissed her cheek. "Good, because I mean

to see this through," he said with an air of determination.

He gently pressed on her shoulder, making her lay down once more.

Stretching out beside her, he propped himself up on his elbow. His hand

traveled down her stomach and he dipped a finger into her cleft. She was

already wet, a fact that made him even more insistent. He stroked her

for a moment before she bucked her hips and made him lose his

patience.

He rolled onto her, positioning himself at her entrance, silently asking

permission with a look. Paige nodded hastily, squirming slightly.

Sirius thrust in and froze. This was much more intense stimulation than

he had anticipated and he knew he wouldn't last long.

Paige seemed to understand his dilemma, because she cast two spells.

Sirius gave her a questioning look and she grinned lopsidedly. "The

first one is a contraceptive spell and the second is a spell to help

you last longer. Do you mind?"

Sirius shook his head and began moving in and out, watching as Paige's

eyes slid closed. His rhythm quickened and he noticed Paige's mouth

slid open, her breath was coming in short breaths. She cried out,

pushing him over the edge. He saw stars appear before his eyes, and he

collapsed on top of her.

A minute passed before Sirius recovered. He lifted his head and started

placing kisses all over Paige's face. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!

That was absolutely amazing!"

Paige giggled and yawned. "Yes it was. It's been an incredibly long day

and I'm tired, do you mind if we just go to bed now?"

Sirius nodded, amazed at how exhausted he suddenly was. "You've had a

hard day, let's call it a night."

Paige smirked and eyed his naked form. "Alright then, I've had a hard

night as well. It's a good thing, too. I needed that after the last

week."

Five minutes later, they had curled up in Paige's bed. Sirius felt

extremely happy and kissed her forehead before settling down for the

night. He pulled her closer, stroking her hair as she fell asleep.

A/N: Awww. How sweet, eh folks? Well, there you have it. Sirius finally got some... costuming tips. Yeah, that's it. Costuming tips. Heh heh. Yes, well, on to reviews!

First of all, let me just say that all three of us are something of review whores, so only getting four reviews (two of which are from our new betas. YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!) was somewhat disappointing, to say the least. **tsk, tsk** So, please, please review.

Jen: Yes, that does have broad implications. Fortunately for you, I don't have a dirty mind. **Prof and Rosi start howling with laughter in the background** Oh, shut up, you two! Anyway... like I was saying, I don't have a dirty mind **evil glare at coauthors** so I took it to mean antique twinkies and that sort of thing. Thank you for becoming one of our beta people (sounds like some kind of cult, doesn't it? Beta people... hehe) you are absoultely fantabulous and beautiful. We love ya, babe.

Katarina: I think you'll find, even on the first lick, that Montgomery Manor is really quite dusty. Her great aunt considered a gingerbread house at one point, but quickly threw it out as she didn't like the taste of children. That, and it was hell being on Jenny Craig. Even so, if you ever decide to visit, STAY AWAY FROM THE OVEN!

Yes, you are one of our beta people, heh heh. More cult members. You, also, are fantabulous and beautiful. Not to mention, stunning in the swimsuit competition.

Letishia: Why, thank you. We aim to please.

LadyLynnie: Woohoo! Another one hooked on the rivetting tale we weave. Or, maybe we're weaving tails? I don't know any more, they all look the same. The end is all hairy and there's something icky and smelly at the beginning.

Happy Wednesday, everybody! Have fun waiting for our next installment. It will come soon!


	32. Let Bygones be Beegones

**Authors' Note: Hey, people! Yes, we're still alive, although Rosi is beginning to smell a bit like a corpse... no matter. Forget I even mentioned it. (Although, if someone has some fabreeze, I sure could sue it!) Anyway, rest assured that the next chapter won't take so long, we've already written most of it.**

**Disclaimer: That's right folks, you've been disclaimed. What'd that? What do you mean, "when'! Just now, you silly perverts. Sheesh, some people!**

**Warning: May cause diarreha, internal bleeding, insomnia, narcolespy, and in rare instances, death. Do not drive or operate heavy machinery while under the effects of this fan fiction.**

**Chapter 32:Little VixensShouldn't Taunt Fully Grown Perverts**

Paige woke and sauntered out into the hallway, hearing Sirius in the kitchen. She stopped, catching the sound of his voice.

He was making eggs, pancakes, and bacon with his back turned to her. His little song that he was singing didn't come out clearly, but Paige heard the words, none-the-less. "_I lost my virginity. Oh yes, I lost my virginity last night. I'm not a virgin anymore because I lost my virginity last night." _The words died when he turned around and saw Paige standing at the counter, her chin in her hand.

She cocked an eyebrow, enjoying his distress. "Really? With whom, may I ask?"

Sirius averted his gaze, his face turning red. "Ugh, how much of that did you hear?"

She unsuccessfully hid a smile. "Only the last bit, stating time, activity... that sort of thing."

Sirius grimaced and fidgeted nervously. "Oh."

Paige crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow. "Would you care to explain?"

Rubbing his temples, Sirius responded, "No, not really."

Paige's brow shot up and she came around into the kitchen. "Why did you lie to me? Did you think I would laugh at you for never having had sex before?"

Sirius sighed, realizing she was going to get the answer from him one way or another. "Well, maybe. I mean, you can hardly blame me when you've had so much experience with so many guys." Paige's mouth dropped open and Sirius blurted out, "No, that not what I meant! Merlin, Paige, I was a thirty-six year old virgin! What would you expect me to do? Tell you the truth? Well, I'm a virginal, escaped convict who's only even come close to having sex with one woman, you. All right, are you happy now!"

Paige gave away no impression of her emotions, preferring to wait a moment. "So, you lied yesterday, too. You'd never had oral sex either, had you?"

Sirius's shoulders fell, making him suddenly look very worn and tired. "No, that was the truth. Well, I'd really only done it twice, but I didn't lie about having had oral sex before."

Paige nodded. "I see."

Silence passed between them, Paige assessing him while he kept his eyes glued to the floor. Finally, she spoke up. "Well, I really wish you'd told me. I would have made things a hell of a lot more interesting for you. Pity, guess we'll have to wait until next time." She nonchalantly walked out of the kitchen, heading back to her room.

Sirius stood frozen in place, his mouth gaping open. "What!", he exclaimed as he followed her back. "You aren't angry with me?"

Paige picked a few items out of her closet and shrugged. "A little, but it's not like this is the first time a man has lied to me, Sirius. I know why you did it, and I really can't say I blame you. Just remember something for the next time you make an assumption like this. When you assume, you make an Ass out of U and Me."

Sirius shook his head. "What the bloody hell does that mean?"

Paige chuckled and patted his cheek. "Never mind, it'll come to you eventually. For now, I really need a shower. Have breakfast waiting for me in ten minutes?"

Sirius gasped and dashed out of the room. "I forgot about breakfast!"

Paige came down the hall, clad only in a sarong. Her wet hair clung to her back and soaked the thin cloth around her. Sirius was setting food on the table and paused, his eyes traveling over her body. She grinned at him and sat in one of the chairs. "Hello, breakfast looks lovely."

He jerked his eyes back to her face and slimed awkwardly. "Oh, er... yes. I had to throw out the eggs and start with new, but nothing else was burnt." He stopped talking, still uncomfortable about their earlier discussion.

Paige took a bite of the fruit compote he had made and glanced at him, her eyes sparkling in amusement. "Well, that's good. We didn't really talk for long, so I'd hoped everything would be all right."

Sirius shut his eyes, willing her to stop looking at him like he was a big joke. "Everything is fine, absolutely perfect. Why wouldn't it be?", he said, reading more into what she was saying than what she meant.

Paige shrugged and looked down at her plate. "Sirius, you're really making much more out of this than you should be. I told you that I was all right with you lying and I meant it. Just because you're a virgin doesn't mean that you're not worth my attention."

Sirius shifted in his chair and felt the heat rise to his face. "I know, it's just embarrassing that's all. I'm just uneasy being so inexperienced when you've got so much knowledge with it."

Paige grinned at him and placed her hand on his arm. "You were great last night, silly man! If you weren't, I would have used this as an excuse not to shag you again." He half-heartedly smiled and Paige went back to eating. "I also meant what I said about if I had known, it would have been a lot more interesting for you."

Sirius quickly glanced up at her, feeling the blood that was heating his face rush to other areas. "Really? I don't think there'd be any way you could possibly make it better. Next time, maybe I can keep from impaling you when you have your mouth on me, but that's nothing that you could have helped.", he joked.

Paige smiled and nodded. "Well, there's quite a bit to impale myself on. That's a good thing, though." Her eyes traveled down his chest and back up again. "A very good thing."

Sirius took her plate when she indicated that she was finished and washed them before joining her on the couch.

He grabbed her and playfully pulled her onto his lap. Toying with the top of the sarong, he glanced up at her. "You know, right now is a good time to try again. You can show me how much more interesting you can make things."

His eyes remained glued to her chest when she took a particularly deep breath and he groaned. Burying his face in her cleavage, he blew as hard as he could, eliciting a high-pitched shriek from her. "Sirius Black!", she commanded as she tried to wriggle free. "You let go of me!"

He shook his head and pulled her tightly against him. "I think not. Little vixens should learn that they never taunt a fully grown pervert unless they plan to go through with whatever they have promised. Now, let me see what you are hiding underneath such a brightly colored piece of cloth." he demanded as he started pulling it open.

Paige giggled hysterically as she tried to simultaneously catch her breath and keep herself decent.

Jack burst in holding his head in his hands. "By the Gods, that was a rough night. Do we have any hang-over potions left?"

Paige set her jaw and glared up at him. "Nope. Had two, but they're for Kate and Remus. You're s.o.l, Bitch."

Jack pouted at her, deciding that it was easier to placate her than get her riled up when he had such a splitting headache. "Come on, luv. Don't get your knickers in a twist, I am willing to admit that I was a bit prudish yesterday. But let's just let bygones be beegones and all that."

She pursed her lips and turned back to Sirius. "What would you like to dress up as for tonight?"

Sirius looked at her quizzically. "You plan on playing that game, then? All right, I'll be the doctor and you can be the nurse." Paige laughed and shoved his chest. "No? But you already have both costumes in your closet. All right, priest and the nun? Professor and school girl? Santa and the naughty elf?"

Paige patted his torso and shook her head. "I don't think we'll go to any more jack shacks that have such a wide selection of costumes any more. No silly man, I mean for Halloween. We always dress up to pass out candy to the children."

Sirius's face darkened at the mention of his least favorite holiday, and she suddenly realized what he was thinking. "Oh, well if you don't want to I understand."

Sirius plastered a smile onto his face and shook his head. "No, no, that's all right. I think dressing up will be a nice change for me. I've spent enough time mourning and I know for a fact that James wouldn't want that. What shall we wear?"

Paige smiled warmly at him, extremely pleased that he would join her. "Well, how about we go to the manor and look through the costumes?"

Chuckling, Sirius shrugged. "All right, let's do that. I just want you to answer one question for me first." Paige paused from getting out of his lap and raised both eyebrows. "Why do you have costumes there? The only things I've seen there are dust, twinkies, and cloth covered furniture."

Pulling him up with her, Paige's smile widened. "Well Ruthie used to have enormous masquerades every Halloween. Everyone wanted an invitation to them. Of course, she and I would have new costumes every year, not to mention the house elves and servants. All of the parties just added up and eventually a room had to be dedicated to it." Yanking on his arm, she added, "Now come on!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"This dress is beginning to tire my back. I should take it off." Paige remarked, eyeing her form in the mirror. She'd been trying on dress after dress and Sirius had started to fall asleep.

Suddenly alert and grinning like a cheshire cat, Sirius started undoing the buttons down the back. "I agree whole-heartedly, luv. Let's get you out of this thing and into something much more comfortable... maybe my arms, for instance?"

She burst into giggles and pulled off the gloves and heels. "Well, I do need to take it off, why don't you pick something out for me? It has to be suitable enough for an angel costume."

After suggesting numerous articles of clothing; including a fur-lined bikini, mini dress, and a stripper's costume, Sirius threw his hands into the air. "I give up, luv, you don't want to wear anything fun! How about nothing, that always looks good on you."

Paige rolled onto her stomach on the bed and giggled. "So you've been telling me. This makes the fifth time, I think. What I need is something with a bit more cloth to it, more elegant and refined. The other wardrobe has ball gowns in it, I think."

Sirius sighed and turned to the massive piece of oak and opened the doors. The first thing that caught his eye was a voluminous skirt and train that pooled on the floor. Pulling it out, he examined the dress further. Tiny flowers and pearls decorated the bodice and a ribbon tied in a simple bow flowed down the back. Holding it up, he grinned. "How about this one? Although, it looks more like a wedding dress than that of an angel."

Paige bolted upright, a gleam in her eye. "Sirius, you just gave me an idea." she exclaimed.

Panic flashed across his features as his eyes alternated between her and the 'wedding dress' he'd found. "Erm, I don't think that's such a good idea, Paige. After all, we've only known each other for a very short time. Not to mention, I'm not exactly good marriage material. I mean, most women wouldn't find a man wanted for multiple murders to be the right material for a family man." he babbled.

Paige shook her head and a shrill giggle escaped. "As funny as it is to have you thinking along those lines, that's not what I meant." Sirius let out an audible sigh of relief and Paige threw a shoe at him. "You don't have to sound so happy about it! Really though, how long has it been since you've pranked Remus?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus stumbled into the living room squinting in the early morning light. Glancing around the room, he saw Paige sitting on the sofa clad in a white chiffon ballgown. "Bollocks." he grunted as he took in the merange-like appearance of the animagus.

"You've some to the wrong place for those." she declared regally.

"Umm... right. Where are the hangover potions kept?" he groaned.

Paige stretched. "In the crisper." Remus cast her a blank look, making her sigh and walk over to the fridge. "I'll get it." She pulled out two vials and handed them to the werewolf.

Remus gratefully paused before downing one of the vials. "Did you get married last night?" he asked teasingly.

Paige's expression was unreadable as she asked. "Why would you ask that?"

He made a face at the taste of the potion. "I don't know, the dress perhaps?"

Paige suppressed an evil smile and shook her head. "No, I mean you don't remember? You were the best man."

Remus blinked. "What?"

Paige dangled her hand in front of him, Ruthie's ring gleamed on her finger. "See?"

"Fuck, I mean... congratulations. Whose the lucky bloke?" he stammered.

She glared at him for a moment before spitting out, "Who do you think?"

Realization washed over Remus's face. "Oh... yes... congratulations _are_ in order then. I hope you are both very happy... I think I will just bring this in to Kate." he managed to get out before dashing down the hall.

"Kate!" he bellowed as he pushed into their room.

She glared at him and hissed, "Shh!" before handing him a potion.

Remus exchanged potions with her and waited for her to finish the vial before gasping out,

"Paige and Sirius got married last night."

"What!" Kate exclaimed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Yes?" they heard Paige call from in the room.

Kate and Remus entered, emotions clearly on opposite ends of the spectrum. Eyeing the enraptured couple warily, they stayed near the door in case anyone suddenly decided to get naked. "Paige?" Kate hesitantly asked, "is there anything you would like to tell us?"

"As a matter of fact, there is!" Sirius jumped in. "There was an enormous amount of sex to be had last night... and not just in your room!"

Kate and Remus exchanged an uncomfortable glance before Remus barreled into the conversation with as much tact as a first year Gryffindor. "What on earth were you thinking? You've only known each other for a little over a week and you just decide to get _married_! Have you completely..." Kate placed her hand on his shoulder, quieting him.

"We hear congratulations are in order." she said diplomatically.

Paige nodded happily and gave Sirius a smoldering kiss before turning a frosty stare on Remus. "At least someone is happy for us. It was only a handfasting ceremony, Remus! Incidentally, we were thinking far better than some people were last night. Of course, the way you two were carrying on, I'd expect to hear that you were arrested for indecent exposure last night while our backs were turned. Not to mention hearing that I can expect to be a godmother in about nine months. Really though, I find this to be a fantastic decision. What do you think, darling?"

Gazing adoringly into Paige's eyes, Sirius responded, "I couldn't agree more, my heart. Although, a year and a day is only the beginning of a long and beautiful relationship if you ask me."

Remus sputtered to say something but Kate cut him off. "Well, congratulations certainly are in order. Last night was a smidge fuzzy, though. What chapel were you handfasted in... Sirius?"

"You know, I don't remember what it was called. I suppose I was to enamored to notice any name other than that of Mrs. Paige Black." he replied smoothly. "It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it Remus?"

Remus glowered at the animagus. "Yes, I find the title or Mrs. Black to be quite fitting for Paige at the moment," he purred with a gentile air.

Sirius's smile faltered for a moment before returning full force. "Yes, I am quite please that I am man enough to give my name to the woman I love."

Kate frowned at the exchange. "Well I'm glad that you do love Paige. And I hope this works out well. Now, if you'll excuse us." she said quietly before pulling Remus out of the door.

XXXXXXXXxXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kate quietly closed the door and turned to face a seething Remus. She sighed and pushed past her mate. Growling in protest, Remus moved to grab Kate.s arm. Shrugging at his display, she successfully dodged his grasp and moved into the room, closing the door behind her.

Remus snorted and rolled his eyes. .How can she be so bloody blind!., he cursed before following her into the smaller room.

"Kate, why aren.t you upset about this? We should be in there, trying to straighten this whole fiasco.." he snapped, before pacing the length of the room.

"Calm down, beloved." She replied as she turned to face him. "You are clearly overreacting, if you take moment to step back and ."

Remus crossed his arms and stomped his foot impatiently. "I am not overreacting, Kathleen. Something has to be done about this, we cannot just standby and let them bollocks their lives."

Kate sighed. "Remus, if you just calmed down for a few moments."

"Calm down, calm down? How can you possibly expect me to calm down at a time like this? My best friend gets married to a woman he has know for less than two weeks and then acts like a complete tosser to the woman I love. I refuse to calm down, I fail to see how you can stand to remain calm in this situation. The only possible explanation is that you are obviously in shock because you are clearly underreacting in my opinion." Remus's features softened and he turned to look at his mate before he continued in a gentler tone. "Surely, you realize what a horrid mess those two getting married is? I mean, Paige will break his heart. He hasn't been with anyone since..."

Kate closed the distance between them and silenced him with a peck on the lips. She pulled back and smoothed his hair. "First, the decision isn't ours to make."

Remus snorted and cut her off. "Isn't ours to make? It isn't a decision for him to make either, Kate. It is far too soon! For Gods' sake, the man hasn't been in his right mind since... since... He's never been in his right mind; ANDhe's gotten worse! Not to mention those horrible things he said, only go to prove that he has finally gone completely mental. He should be committed, Kate, not signing a marriage commitment. I mean I'm beginning to believe the man is completely barking and quite frankly deserves ..."

Kate silenced him with another kiss. "They weren't handfasted last night."

Remus blinked and calmed slightly. "What do you mean 'they weren.t handfasted last night'?" Pausing for a moment, he looked his mate over. 'Oh my poor sweet Kate, you are in shock. You've gone barmy over this." He said gently, pulling her close.

Kate giggled and pushed him away. "Please, Remus just listen to me."

The pair froze at the sound of Paige shrieking and slamming her door.

Remus turned to Kate. "I told you this was a bad idea. Their marriage is doomed, Kate. Mark my words."

He was interrupted by Sirius yelling something at Paige from the hall.

"See! See Kate, what did I tell you! Now if he wasn.t such a complete wanker, I would have to be out there cheering him as we speak." Remus snapped before resuming his pacing.

Kate shook her head and began shrinking the guest beds. Remus gave her a confused looked as she levitated the miniature beds into the closet. "Kate, are you even listening? This is a very urgent situation, why are you rearranging the furniture?"

"They are not married, Remus. Paige was lying, if you hadn't gotten into a pissing contest with Sirius you would have noticed that." She replied in clipped tones and began pulling boxes out of the closet.

"I was not.Wait a minute, she was lying?", heasked with a sheepish grin.

"Yes, she was lying. Her eyes were dilated, her heart rate was elevated, she was sending nervous energy out in waves, and the dress she was wearing couldn.t have been on her for more than two to three hours." Kate paused as she jumped back from the closet, narrowing dodging a falling box. "Drat!"

Remus stepped forward. "Are you alright?" He asked soothingly. "I'm sorry about before, I suppose I went off half-cocked." She smiled at him and continued pulling boxes from the closet. Sheepishly gazing at her, he cleared his throat. "Would you like some help?"

"Sure." She replied as she placed a table against the West wall of the room. "It would be very nice of you."

"What are we doing?"he asked, moving a box towards the table.

"It's an ancestor shrine for Samhain." she said sweetly.

Remus blanched at her words. "Oh. Kate, what day is it?"

"Nevada Day?" Kate replied in a silly tone before seeing the solemn expression on Remus's face. "It's Halloween, it will be officially Samhain at sundown."

Remus sat heavily on the floor and let out a ragged breath. "I forgot, how could I forget?"

She rushed to his side and kneeled beside him. "Are you alright?"

"They died, they died today. How could I have forgotten? I haven.t forgotten in over fourteen years." He whispered as tears pricked the corners of his eyes. Wrapping him in a hug, Kate held Remus as he cried for his lost friends.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius turned a triumphant smile on his fellow prankster. "Well, luv, that was a great way to wake me up. Please, think up more pranks to put the ol' git into his death throes. He's almost there right now, but it'll take a good shove to push him over the brink." he said and gave an indignant gasp when she slapped him. "What the bloody hell was that for?" he shouted.

Crossing her arms, Paige gave him a reproving look. "You didn't _have_ to talk to him like that, you know. This was supposed to be a joke, not a way for you to open up issues he can't fix."

Rolling his eyes at the angry witch, Sirius smiled in a way he thought was placating. "Come on, love, Remus is a tough old wanker. Besides, he knows better than to take me seriously, or at least he used to. No matter, he'll calm down in a bit and we'll be right as rain."

Paige stiffened when he put an arm around her and brushed him away. "Really? Can you be so sure of that when he was obviously hurt just a moment ago? Sirius, I don't think you realize..."

"No, you don't realize." Sirius interrupted. "I've known Remus for well over twenty years and he's acted the same way the entire time. He'll forget about it in an hour or two. Until then, I just need to avoid him. Please stop lecturing me about a man I've known since you were born!" Paige shook her head and Sirius continued. "Besides, you're not exactly the expert on how to speak nicely to people."

Raising an eyebrow, Paige sniffed. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you say he first thing that comes to mind and then expect people to accept it and not get offended. I see no difference between us at the moment."

Paige narrowed her eyes slightly and crossed her arms. "I do not."

Spotting an opening, Sirius leaned forward. "Yes, you do. You are always making people angry with you, everyday. Maybe you need to work on speaking a little more carefully."

Paige's mouth hung open for a minute before she stood up. "We aren't speaking about me, Sirius, we were discussing how you could have handled Remus better."

Sirius shrugged and smiled at her. "Oh really? Well then, let me just finish our 'discussion' with a piece of advise. Let your words reflect your own actions or don't bother preaching better manners to me."

She widened her eyes and pointed to the door. "Get the hell out of my room!"

Sirius stood and swaggered towards the door, stopping just inside of it to say one more thing. Paige, however, anticipated this and shoved him backwards into the hallway.

Falling backwards, Sirius managed to fall into a clothes hamper, twisting his wrist, as the door slammed. "Very mature, Paige!" he yelled to her inside. "That injured my hand!"

He heard Paige give a short laugh from inside, followed by, "Well then, I guess you'll have to use the other one to go and wank off, bastard!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sunlight flooded the room's West window as Remus put the finishing touches on the shrine. He had placed two Wizarding photos on the altar next to a picture of Kate's mother. The first was a copy of one of the few shots of first Order of the Phoenix. Next to it was a picture of James and Lily from their last year in school. The people in the photos smiled and waved at him, looking quite content at their current location as he lit the final candle. His thoughts were interrupted by a light rapping on the door.

"Katie, can I come in? Please Kate, I'm sorry. I've been a total arse." Croaked the hoarse voice of Jack Morgan.

The werewolf sighed and opened the door a crack. "She's in the kitchen making up a plate for the shrine." He said curtly, casting a wary look at the pirate.

"Remus, I;m sorry, mate. Can I please come in? I really need to place something on the shrine and it is almost sunset." The pirate pleaded meekly.

Remus noticed the battered condition of Jack.s face a felt pity for him. "Sure, come in." He said moving to let Jack into the room.

"Thanks, mate. I appreciate it. Oh, it looks lovely this year. Kate did a bang up job, but then she always does." Jack said conversationally, indicating the table. Remus just nodded. "It's my brother, you see." Jack said, showing him a picture of a thirteen year old boy in Hogwarts' robes. He gave a weak smile before stepping towards the shrine. "I see your mates are here as well, you must be family."

Remus shifted his weight and glared at the pirate. Jack shrugged and moved to light a candle in front of the new photograph. "No offense, Professor. Though it is in a place of honor, right next to Katie's mum." Jack pointed the photograph of a thirty-something woman with straight blonde hair and Kate's smile.

Remus nodded. "I suppose so."

"Listen, mate, about before... I was an arse, a scurvy dog, a cracked rat, a selfish tosser, a , you can stop me at anytime." Jack said with a smile.

Remus returned his smile. "No, you are doing quite fine on your own."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Groaning, Sirius turned over on the couch and yawned. The door to the guest bedroom has been locked and he wasn't about to bother Jack, so Sirius had decided to curl up here for a nap.

Hoping to find a roomier place, he got up and walked back to the guest room to try again.

Opening the door, he poked his head inside and sighed, the beds were gone. Looking a bit closer, he noticed a table against one wall. Intrigued, he moved into the room.

The pictures on top earned a moment of confusion before he noticed the one of Ruthie. It had to have been taken when she was in her twenties, but Sirius recongized her cold stare, even so. Imperious and hauty, she had the same mannerisms that he had noticed from the pictures in Paige's photo album. She was standing in the gardens of her estate and gazing out of the frame as if eyeing a piece of meat.

Moving quickly on from her, Sirius's breath caught at the sight of Lily and James laughing and smiling in the middle of Honeyduke's. Sitting down in front of it, Sirius sighed heavily.

It had to be in seventh year, and judging by their rosy cheeks, it was certainly cold outside. Staring at it thoughtfully, he racked his brain for the memory. '_Was it a trip actually allowed by the school, or one of our adventures on our own?_ _No, Lily never would have gone if we didn't have express permission to leave the school._ _It had to be allowed. So then when was it? Couldn't have been the one in January, although I don't know why. Hmm, why not? What happened then?'_

A noise in the doorway caught his attention and Sirius turned around. Paige was biting her lip and half-smiling at him. "It's Kate's ancestor's shrine."

Nodding somberly, Sirius turned back around. "Ahh. Remus must have helped her set it up."

Paige knelt next to him uncertainly. "Probably, they never seem to be very far apart. Of course, that's normal, but still." Sirius stared at James and nodded absently. Clearing her throat, Paige went on. "So, I'm sorry I got mad at you earlier. You're probably right about me, although I don't meant to upset people."

Sirius shrugged. "It doesn't matter." he replied hollowly.

Frowning, Paige put a hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright? You don't seem like yourself. Not to mention, you're crying."

Sirius wiped away a tear he hadn't known was there and let out a short laugh. "Erm, yeah, I guess so. I just can't remember when this picture was taken."

Furrowing her brow, Paige tried to hide a smile. "Sirius, that had to be, what, twenty years ago? It's hardly remarkable that you don't remember every photo taken of the Marauders. Besides, you told me yourself that you have problems remembering things about your childhood."

Sirius shot Paige a sharp look. "About my teenage years, not my childhood. The dementors only feed on happy memories. Besides, it's not just this one picture. There is so much that I don't remember specifics on that it scares me sometimes. I mean, am I going insane? I can't even remember what I gave Harry for his first birthday." he finished helplessly.

Paige wiped his cheeks with a kleenex and smiled reassuringly. "You're not insane. Or, if you are, you've already gone there and even got a souvenier bumper sticker before returning to normality. You have just had a rough twelve years in prison. You expect everything to just come right back to you? It won't work that way, babe. Why don't you try having Remus tell you stories about school? That certainly couldn't hurt."

Sirius sighed heavily again and looked at Lily's smile. "No matter what, she was always beautiful. It didn't matter what she was doing, she was radiant. Heh, one time I managed to get her to go outside to 'study astronomy'. Only, when we reached a certain spot, James threw a bucket of water on her white shirt. She was wearing a pink bra underneath, which I made some comment about. I think James was dumbstruck, which made sense when she kicked him extremely hard in a very sensitive place. She tried to do the same to me, but I dodged and we ended up wrestling in the mud."

Paige giggled and squeazed his shoulder. "See? You have some things still floating around in your head."

Sirius laughed out loud and nudged her. "That's because it wasn't exactly a happy memory. I ended up walking funny for a week, thanks to her, and Remus wouldn't heal me. He said we both deserved what we got for being such randy goats. I guess he was right." Paige burst into laughter, which encouraged Sirius to do the same. "You know, I think James was even more in love after she kicked him than before? Course, that git was always nutters."

Paige touseled Sirius's hair and stood. "Come on, let's get you ready for tonight."

Giving the picture one last glance, Sirius followed. "Right."

* * *

**Hornhead's Note: Woohoo! Sirius is getting ready for Halloween! Poor guy, he could use a good party, couldn't he? Soo sad. Sad, sad, sad, Sirius. Oh well, he's not as angsty as Harry. That would take some work! Anywho, stay tuned for the next exciting installment of Vegas!**


	33. A Heaping Serving of Guilt

**Disclaimer**: We don't own it, we're just trying to get it  
finished before book 6 comes out and makes everything AU.

**New and Improved: **Now with the voice of the beta gods removed, sorry about that

**Warnings**: Some language, light sexual situations, and very long. You  
heard it ladies and gentlemen, this chapter is bigger, longer, and  
uncut. Also you might want to look at our one-shot, "I Wanna Puppy",  
before reading this.

**Chapter 33: Happy Now! **

Sirius pouted as he slumped against the balcony wall. Sighing loudly, he  
glanced down to where Paige was talking to a police officer.

Picking at the stucco, Sirius watched them walk to the bushes below him.  
"See, officer?" he heard Paige say. "There's no one here. The  
children must be playing a joke on me."

"On you, Mrs. Pierce? Why would they give such serious accusations about  
you?" The officer questioned, looking quite skeptical.

Placing a hand on his arm, Paige smiled at him. "Oh, it's only Miss  
Pierce, Officer Patterson. I'm still single." This earned her a  
slightly surprised look from her new prey. "Anyway, they like to play  
little jokes on me, mostly because I'm good natured about it. I guess  
they just took it too far this time." She shrugged and Sirius almost  
laughed at the innocent look on her face. Shaking his head, he turned  
away and saw Remus opening the door.

Closing the door behind, Remus cleared his throat. "How is it going  
down there?" he asked as he glanced over the edge.

"Oh" Sirius said and shrugged. "Paige has been convincing the police that  
she's a single, randy woman who's just having a prank played on her."

Nodding, Remus replied, "Ah, that's quite... clever of her. It looks  
like Kate has come to help out."

Chuckling softly, the Animagus nodded. "I guess not everything can be  
fixed with her charms, eh mate?"

Remus gave a weak smile. "Quite."

They watched for a moment before Sirius spoke up. "So, I saw the picture  
of Lily and James. Where did you get it?" He grinned as Paige shot him  
an annoyed look.

"I've been carrying it around since 7th year. It was taken during our  
last Christmas at Hogwarts," he replied wistfully.

Sirius frowned. "Oh...uh... yes...that was a good winter hols wasn't  
it?"

Remus shook his head. "Actually, it wasn't. Right after this was taken,  
James found out about his mum. Though, when you fell off your  
broomstick while attempting to take a picture of the inside of the  
girls' dorm, I was highly amused."

Grimacing, Sirius sighed. "How could I have forgotten about Circe?"  
Remus patted him on the back and he went on. "You know, everyone was so  
worried that we didn't even get in trouble for hanging Snape from the  
Gryffindor statue by his pants."

Chuckling, Remus nodded. "That one was horrible of you. Lily didn't  
speak to James for a week." Sitting up straight Sirius pointed a  
finger at him. "Hey, as I recall, you were the one who thought of using  
the underwear like that. James and I were going to use glue."

"No, as I recall you just wanted to use the sword. The glue was Prongs'  
idea."

Sirius watched as the officer drove off and shrugged. "Eh, I was only  
half serious." A gleam came into his eye as he looked down at the women  
below them. "So, Moony? You get the bucket and I'll get the ice water?"

"No," Remus replied causing Sirius to frown. He then flashed an impish grin at the animagus. "We'd get a higher volume if we just conjured it from here."

"Right" Sirius said as they pulled out their wands.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A noticeable chill had settled over the valley in response to a Vegas  
cold snap, sending the Fahrenheit down to the mid-forties. Raindrops  
splattered against the window, beating out a soothing tatu and creating a seemingly perfect opportunity for snuggling.

Remus shivered and snuggled closer to Kate as a strong gust of wind blew through the open window. She responded with a soft growl and pulled away taking the covers with her.

"Cold," he murmured and pulled Kate towards him.

"Good" Kate replied as she pulled the comforter tighter around herself.

"Cold," he whined this time and stuck a chilled hand into  
Kate's nest to illustrate his point.

Kate snarled at the contact of his frozen digits to her warm neck.  
"You're English, where did your stiff upper lip go?"

"Well, it's a little cold for things to be stiff this morning, dearest.  
Although..." He let his words trail off as he attempted to nuzzle her  
neck.

"I thought you were used to the cold," she whined as she pulled away  
from his cold nose.

"I may be used to it but it doesn't mean that I necessarily like it.  
Also I usually sleep in more than my pants in cold weather," he whined  
as he attempted to worm his way under the covers, earning a snort from  
Kate. "Oh come on, precious. You still aren't mad about last night?  
It was just a little fun."

"It was cold!" She grumbled through the comforter before casting a spell  
to close the window.

"Kate...Kate, dearest...darling, precious, wonderful, warm  
Kate...Please. I'm freezing my bits off," Remus pouted as he wrapped  
himself around both Kate and the comforter. "And I heard from a very  
reliable source, you happen to fancy my bits...Please, dearest...I  
love you."

Kate sighed and lifted the covers. "Fine."

"Thank you, dearest," he said cheerfully, giving her a quick peck on  
the cheek. "Though you must admit it was rather amusing."

"Don't push your luck," she whispered, gracing him with a smile before  
falling back to sleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus returned to the bedroom, after having lived through twenty  
minutes of Jack trying to explain why the central heating wasn't  
working. He found Kate buttoning her sweater. "You look lovely,  
darling," he drawled.

Kate blushed at the compliment. "What did Jack say was wrong with the  
heater?"

"Something about an Augustus being stuck in one of the main heating  
pipes and that the waterfall makes it light and frothy. He said not to worry, though." She turned to him and looked him over, causing him to grin cheekily. "Like what you see?" he drawled.

She took a step closer and kissed him on the cheek. "Yes, but then you  
always look very dashing." Taking a cue from Sirius, Remus waggled his  
eyebrows at her. "I'm being serious. You look very nice today." She  
broke off for a moment and look down at his trousers. "I don't  
remember picking those up, are they new?"

Remus gave her a confused look. "No, these are the trousers I wore  
when I first arrived." He made a show of adjusting them a bit.  
"Though, they seem to be fitting better these days."

Kate giggled and put her hands in his pockets. "Is that so?"

"Oh yes, I've had these since before Harry was born and they only seem  
to fit well when I am happy and healthy." He said with a merry grin.  
His revelry was cut short though as his warming spell wore off.

She brushed his cheek as he began to shiver. "Are you all right?"

Remus gave a small shudder. "Just a bit cold."

Kate pulled a baggy sweater out of her closet and handed it her mate.  
"Here, this should keep you a bit warmer until we can get the heater  
up and running."

Remus pulled the jumper over his head and tugged at the areas where  
Kate's endowments had stretched the material. "Thank you, dearest, but  
I think I'm the wrong shape for this." He said teasingly.

Kate muttered a quick spell and sweater became fitted to Remus's body.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius woke up a little muzzier than usual. He stumbled into the  
kitchen to find Kate and Remus cooking a veritable feast. He cast his  
gaze longingly between the food and the jumper Remus was wearing. He  
looked down at his chest and adjusted the only one he could find in  
Paige's room, which after several enlarging spells was still two sizes  
too small.

Kate kissed Remus on the cheek and bustled out of the room, pointedly  
ignoring Sirius.

"What's up her bottom?" the Animagus asked as he pulled at his  
sweater. "Still upset about last night?"

Remus smirked at his friend. "A little, she didn't forgive me until  
this morning. Apparently, she doesn't like being cold."

Sirius nodded. "Neither do I. So why is it so bloody cold?" He then  
cast a covetous look at Remus's chest. "And where the blazes did you  
get a proper jumper?"

"I borrowed it from Kate this morning," Remus said with a wistful  
smile before going back to maintaining the spells on the stovetop.

"How on earth did you get it to fit? I took this from Paige's closet  
and it is still ridiculous." He snorted. "Are you listening, Moony?  
Look, you can see every inch of me in this. If I stretch, I would  
probably rip it in half." He waved his hand in front the werewolf's  
face. "Moony! I said I look ridiculous, aren't you going to say  
something?" Sirius glared at his friend. "Oy !If you think I'm sexy  
and want me to ravage you like a crafty butcher just keep staring out  
into space big boy." Throwing his hands up in defeat, the Animagus  
shook his friend.

Remus broke from his train of thought. "What's that? I'm sorry,  
Sirius. I was just a bit distracted."

"I see, I can only imagine what has you wool-gathering this morning,"  
the Animagus said with a knowing smile in Kate's direction.

"I was just pondering, I suppose. How long do you think this  
assignment could last?" the werewolf queried.

Sirius grabbed a handful of bacon. "I don't know, Moony. Though, if  
we are organizing reinforcements, we could be here until things get a  
bit dodgier back home. Maybe even until Voldemort makes a big move."  
He took a bite of bacon. "Though I must admit, I wouldn't mind  
staying..." He broke off to eat more bacon.

"I was thinking that perhaps that it would be better if we stayed  
here. I mean, we could be of more use." The werewolf said  
thoughtfully.

Sirius quirked an eyebrow and finished the strip of bacon that was in his mouth. "How so?" he managed before finishing the strips in his hand.

"Well, we could get training and train our recruits. And it would be  
better for us, we could do things." Remus finished placing more bacon  
on the plate. Sirius nodded and took another handful as the werewolf  
continued. "For example, you can go out in public and have a life."  
He fell quiet for a moment and looked his friend in the eye. "And you  
could get closer to Paige, and in the summer we could send for Harry.  
It's safe here and no one knows him, Padfoot. He could have a normal  
life."

"There is something else, isn't there?" Sirius said between mouthfuls.

Remus looked down at his hands. "I could be with Kate here. The laws  
are less severe; we could be married and start a family..."

Sirius swallowed the last of the bacon. "About that, Moony. I really  
didn't mean..."

The Animagus was interrupted by Jack bounding into the living room.  
"Bacon... Only one thing smells like bacon and that's bacon and Old  
Willie. All right, only two things smell like bacon and that is Old  
Willie, bacon, and that creepy guy down on 4th Street and Fremont. All right, only three things...three things smell like bacon and that's bacon, Old Willie, and...Ay! Which one of you buggers burgled my bacon."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus chuckled to himself as he left Sirius and Jack in the kitchen  
eating bacon. "For gods' sake, they are wizards. You would think they  
would remember that they could conjure a pound of bacon from just a  
few crumbs," he thought as he walked to the dining room to check on  
Kate.

She had fixed the room to seat ten comfortably and was currently on  
her hands and knees adjusting floor cushions. He smiled to himself and  
snuck up behind her. Gently pressing his legs into her thighs and  
bottom, he caused her to let out a small squeak of surprise. He let  
out a throaty laugh. "Hmmm...what do we have here? We have to stop  
meeting like this," he said in a husky voice before leaning over her.

"We don't have time," she replied coyly as she felt the bulge in his  
trousers grow.

"We have plenty of time, dearest. It will only be a few hours and I'm  
sure the children will understand," he retorted as he began to nuzzle  
her neck.

"No, we can't...we shouldn't ...Please, Moony," she managed to stammer  
out between sighs.

Moony stopped and licked her ear. "It's been a full day, I don't know  
if I can last much longer," he said in a mock growl.

Luna wriggled against her mate just as a knock sounded at the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paige burst through the front door with Clayton in tow. The teen  
grunted as the Animagus shoved a package into his arms.

"What!" he exclaimed.

"It is your birthday and you will be happy dammit!" Paige shouted.

"I am happy. In fact, I would only be happier if it was a full a moon.  
Oh wait!" Clayton bent down to pull his pants down just as Sirius  
walked in the room.

"Charming, I've seen less hair on Dumbledore's face though," Sirius  
quipped.

Clayton shook his ass at the Animagus. "It's a weave, now you know  
where he got the hair for it."

Remus chose this moment to investigate what was going in the living  
room. "Pull your pants up Clayton."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The morning had progressed well and had ended with everyone settling  
in dining room fully clothed.

Clayton turned to Paige and smiled. "These pancakes look great, don't  
they Paige?" He asked before taking a large bite. He quickly chewed  
the mouthful and showed Paige the macerated remains. "See!" he said  
causing the food to shift on his tongue.

"Oh Clayton... Ew !" She exclaimed, pushing him away from her.

"Oh come on, Paige," he said with his mouth still full of pancakes.  
"It's so good...Yum...Yum...Yum." His torture was interrupted by a knock  
at the door.

Kate and Remus exchanged a concerned glance and went to the door  
closely followed by Paige. Remus and Paige drew their wands as Kate  
slowly opened the door. "Can I help you, Mr. Snape?" she asked in a  
slightly exasperated tone.

Snape sneered at the female werewolf. "Dumbledore sent me with a  
letter," he growled, shoving it at Kate. "There you have your 'proof',  
now let me in," he ordered before attempting to push his way into the  
apartment.

Remus stepped forward and flashed a feral smile at the potions master.  
"Manners, Severus," he snapped.

Snape visibly paled and instinctively took a step away from the door.  
"My apologies, may I please come in?" he hissed, warily eyeing Remus.

Kate gently brushed Remus's shoulder. "Do come in, Mr. Snape," she  
said in a quiet tone.

Sirius and the children had slowly trickled into the front room, while  
Snape had tried to gain access to the apartment. The Animagus smiled  
proudly at his friend. "How did you do that, Moony? Is there a button  
somewhere? Can I poke it with a stick?"

James cocked his head, causing his tawny locks to fall forward. "A  
stick?" the young werewolf queried as he pushed his hair out of his  
eyes.

Sirius looked at him thoughtfully. "Would you voluntarily touch that?"  
he replied pointing at Snape.

"Why don't you have a nice heart to heart with your mother, Black?"  
the spy hissed before turning to Remus. "I haven't time for this, I've  
been sent to bring you back to Hogwarts."

Kate paled and gently clasped Remus's arm. "Back to Hogwarts? That's  
impossible, they haven't finished recruiting," she stated gently.

Snape smirked at the submissive behavior of the witch. "Surprised?" he  
asked moving closer to Kate than was necessary. "Don't be too  
concerned, my dear. I was surprised myself." He then pulled back and  
glared at Remus and Sirius. "It seems these miscreants are to be  
congratulated on a job well done." He pulled his attention back to  
Kate. "Of course, it seems to be the only job either one of them can  
get. But then you would get involved with lay-a-bouts would you,  
Miss?"

James jumped between the potions master and Kate. "The likes of you  
can call her Mistress Gardner, she has more accolades in potions and  
healing than you could ever dream of you two bit..."

Kate instinctively stilled the young wizard. "James, this is not the  
time or the place. Step down."

"Quite," Snape said with a satisfied smirk.

Remus moved in front of Kate and stood nose to nose with the potions  
master. "Do not overstep your welcome, Snivelus."

Snape took a step back. "What are you going to do, Lupin? Hit me  
again? You are quite pathetic, you know that don't you. Nothing more  
than a mangy animal, even Dumbledore thinks so. You should have been  
put down years ago!" Snape shouted, his voice trembling slightly.

Sirius smiled. "Aw, Snivelus, we all know you try to put him down all  
the time. You don't need to point out your efforts to us...Wait a  
minute? Hit you again? Moony! You hit him and you didn't let me  
watch! I've been waiting for years to see you hit him and I missed  
it."

"Sirius, this is not the time." He replied.

"What? Not willing to give in to your baser instincts during the light  
of day, Lupin? Who are you trying to impress? One of these pieces of  
skirt, perhaps? Maybe you should just give up now and go back to being  
Black's bitch," Snape taunted.

Kate pushed Remus to the side and stepped into Snape. "You have  
officially worn out your welcome, Mr. Snape. I suggest you have  
Professor Dumbledore place a firecall in the future."

Snape quirked an eyebrow at the werewolf. "My apologies, Miss Gardner.  
I thought that I had been welcomed as a RESPECTED member of the  
Order," Snape said turning to leave, before a malicious grin spread across his face. Turning back around, he took a good look at Kate. "You wouldn't happen to be Kate Gardner would you?" he asked in a genteel manner.

Kate cast him a cold look. "Yes, I would."

"Well, I suppose Dumbledore will have his puppy mill up and running in  
record time. You certainly have the hips for it," he said in a  
lecherous voice that caused Kate to shudder.

Remus let out a low growl and the younger werewolves moved to surround  
the greasy wizard. "What do you mean by that Snape?" he barked.

"Oh come now, Lupin, surely you can't be that dull. Just look at her,  
quite the healthy bitch to get a few litters out of. And by the looks  
of her, she might even be pedigreed." Kate stared at him dumbfounded.  
"Surely, Miss Gardner, you must have read the first letter? I mean  
even Dumbledore offered to act as a stud for you if Lupin wasn't up  
for the job." Snape hissed in her ear, before Remus threw him up against  
the wall.

Sirius came up behind Remus and pointed his wand at Snape's nose.  
"I've been waiting a long time for this."

Kate turned just in time to see Paige run down the hall. She managed  
to tackle the Animagus. Paige shrieked and pushed Kate off her.

Kate leapt forward and grabbed Paige's leg. "What letter is he talking  
about, Paige?" she growled.

"I don't know. Why don't you go ask him?" she replied before changing  
into her Animagus form and sprinting to her room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paige slammed the door in Kate's face and instantly warded the entire  
room. No one could get in and she felt reasonably sure that she would stay in one piece for a bit longer. Well, until hunger or other bodily needs drove her out. That was a worry for another time.

Acting on impulse, she pulled her gun out and set it on her desk and  
paused to listen to the voices in the hallway. Giggling, she brushed  
her hair and fixed her makeup before deciding that Kate had given up  
for the moment. Lifting the wards, she disapparated.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius grinned evilly as Remus pressed his wand into Snape's neck.

"What letter?" the werewolf growled.

Snape's eyes widened. "It was Dumbledore's idea. I was just the  
messenger," he gasped.

"I knew we should have used the sword," Sirius grumbled before the  
pair was distracted by a frustrated cry from the hallway.

Remus dropped Snape and ran to Kate's aid. Sirius snarled at his  
childhood nemesis. "Now the real fun begins, Snivelus."

"I think not, Black," Snape hissed before kneeing Sirius in the groin  
and activating an emergency Portkey .

Clayton and James stepped forward and helped Sirius to his feet. The  
trio turned just as they heard an explosion from the hall.

Sirius turned to the boys. "Stay here, at the first sign of trouble  
you and the girls get out of here."

Clayton stepped forward. "I will not stay here, get out of the way old  
man."

Sirius glared at the boy. "You will stay here."

James stepped forward and placed a hand on Clayton's shoulder. "Call  
if you need back up." Clayton grudgingly nodded and moved away from  
the hall.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius found the door to Paige's room blown off its hinges. Kate was  
currently pulling the drawers out of Paige's desk, while Remus tried  
to calm her.

"Kate, perhaps you should settle down before continuing," he suggested  
as Kate made her way to the bookshelf and began pulling out books.

"Yes, a good book is always calming," Sirius remarked as Kate threw  
volume after volume on to the floor. "Of course, it always helps if  
you find the right one," he added helpfully.

Remus sent a quelling glance at the Animagus just as Kate tossed  
Paige's copy of Courting Behaviors Among Werewolves  
on to the floor. It opened to a fairly complex position but  
the participants seemed to be having a good time.

Sirius pointed at the text. "Of course, you could always try that."

Remus walked over to the book and picked it up. "What the blazes?" he  
asked to no one in particular and flipped through it.

"Page 394 has a particularly interesting position," Sirius commented  
conversationally.

Remus rifled through the book as a note dropped out of it. Picking it  
up, he quickly read its contents in a hushed voice.

Dear Ms. Gardner,

Please accept my apologies for my previous letter. It was highly  
inappropriate and I hope I have not offended you. I hope you and Mr.  
Lupin are getting on well. And that there are no hard feelings.

All the best,

A Dumbledore

"What is this about?" Remus asked just as Kate stopped her  
search.

She became flushed as she read aloud the first line of a parchment. "  
I am pleased to announce that I have chosen you to have my  
Remus puppy"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kate secured the dining room door behind her, leaving four very  
confused teenage werewolves in her wake. Swiftly, she transfigured her  
Muggle outfit into formal Wizarding robes. Activating the emergency  
Floo network, she placed a firecall to Hogwarts. Making herself  
comfortable on the floor, she settled in to wait as long as necessary.

Ten minutes later, Dumbledore entered from a side panel with Snape in  
tow. "Really Severus, I'm sure things were not as dire as you are  
painting them. Also you do have a tendency to bait Sirius and Remus."

Snape puffed out his chest. "I can assure you, Headmaster, that I did  
nothing to provoke those creatures."

Kate gave a slight cough from the inside the fireplace, causing both  
men to gape at her. "I'm sure your charm and pleasant demeanor were  
enough, Professor Snape. Now if you don't mind, I would like a word  
alone with Professor Dumbledore."

Dumbledore cast a bemused smile at the potions master, before turning  
to Kate. "Of course, that will be fine, Miss Gardner. Severus, please  
wait outside."

Snape turned to the Headmaster, who was twinkling at him. "But sir,  
surely you don't intend..." he began as the older wizard escorted him  
out the door.

"Come my boy, I think I can handle one little witch by myself, even if  
she is a werewolf," he whispered as he closed the door to his office.

Dumbledore then turned his attention to Kate. He gave her an overly  
large grin and twinkled maniacally at her. "Well, my dear, it truly is  
a pleasure to finally see you. It has been such a long time between  
visits, I believe the last time I saw you, you weren't much bigger  
than a house elf. I was quite disappointed when you declined your  
Hogwarts' letter, we send so few of them to American students."

"Under the circumstances it was not a plausible option." She replied  
curtly.

"Of course, child. Though under the circumstances I must say that you  
have thrived far beyond what most would have expected," he said in a  
fatherly tone, causing Kate to grit her teeth. Dumbledore smiled at  
the perceived opening. "I must admit that I have heard great things  
about you and as a friend of your mother I can say that she would have  
been quite proud of you today. In fact, I find it quite remarkable the  
striking resemblance you share." The old man removed his glasses and  
cleaned them before continuing. "She was a very beautiful woman and  
the top of her class, I can see why your father married her."

"I did not come here to listen to a recitation of my pedigree,  
Professor," Kate said in severe tone.

Dumbledore sighed and held up his hands in a well-practiced placating  
gesture. "So you finally found the letter? You have every right to be  
angry with me. I suppose I am just a foolish old man, who gets too far  
into his cups from time to time. I can assure you no harm was meant by  
it," he said gently, trying his best to look sheepish. He smiled to  
himself as he noticed Kate's features were softening and decided to go  
in for the kill. "I guess, I must be going as senile as they say  
because sometimes I just forget how human Remus actually..."

Kate silenced the old wizard with a glare. "So what do you think of  
Remus as then? A monster? A sideshow act? A pet, perhaps? Maybe just a  
personal errand boy, who isn't quite human and therefore isn't quite  
worth the effort."

Dumbledore held up his hand to silence the young werewolf. "That is  
enough, Ms. Gardner. I know you have feelings for Remus and I did not  
mean to insinuate that he is anything less than a great man. As you  
well know, like your father I have worked for years trying to help  
protect magical creatures and Muggleborns from the prejudices of our  
world." The headmaster gave a disheartened sigh. "I expected more from  
you, Katie. It is an affront to my Gryffindor honor to even consider  
thinking of wizards or witches in such a way."

"Considering you were sorted into Slytherin and acted as my father's  
advisor, I believe your honor can deal with the damage."

Dumbledore paled and sat behind his desk. "How much do you know?" he  
asked quietly, steepling his fingers.

"Enough," Kate said curtly.

Dumbledore took a long hard look at Kate. "You are too much like your  
mother," He pouted.

"Never go up against a Gardner when lives are on the line," Kate said smoothly. "I only want one thing from you, Professor. I want your word that you will not force Remus to return to England. He has been through enough, and I believe..."

Dumbledore leapt up from his chair. "I will do no such thing. If you  
have failed to notice, Ms. Gardner, there is a war on and some things  
are more important than silly love affairs!" he shouted as he began to  
pace in front of the fire.

"A silly love affair? Is that what you think this is? You set in  
motion something far bigger than yourself in a drunken stupor and you  
want to write it off as a silly love affair!" Kate snapped back.

"Yes! Both of you are being quite unreasonable. You need to see the  
importance of what is going on and stop being so bloody selfish!"  
Dumbledore ranted just as Kate shut down the Floo connection.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius walked into the living room carrying the werewolf text and  
Dumbledore's original letter. He found the children waiting to spring  
into action, so much so that James almost knocked him over. "What is  
going on? Are they ok? Kate just stormed in here and barricaded  
herself in the dining room. What was in that letter that got them so  
upset?"

Clayton didn't give Sirius a chance to answer before he jumped on the  
Animagus as well. "Where is Paige and what has she done this time?" he  
demanded.

Sirius pulled his hand through his hair. "Paige left so she is safe. I  
don't know why Kate is in the dining room. And they are upset about  
the letter, which really irritates me so I don't want to think about  
how they feel about it." Clayton and James reached for the letter but  
Sirius held it out of their reach. "I think I should just read this  
and you can make up your own minds."

_Dear Mummy of my Remus-puppy,_ Sirius read causing the girls to giggle.

"Do you want me to read this or not?" Sirius snapped silencing the pair.

_I am pleased to announce that I have chosen you to have my  
Remus puppy!_

Clayton shook his head. "What was it, a fucking lottery?"  
Sirius shot a quelling glance at the teen and continued.

_So, I am sending you two of my best wizards-- _

James leaned over to Clayton and whispered, "So we got Remus,  
so where is the other one?"

_Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Remus is werewolf and quite a  
stud-- _

Clayton laughed. "Oh baby, break me off a piece of that." His  
comment caused the girls to giggle.

Sirius rolled his eyes and continued_. Or at least I hope so  
otherwise I won't get a puppy. _

Laura looked at Clayton. "Why did he have to come all the way  
to Las Vegas to conjure a puppy? Couldn't have he have done that in  
England?"

Clayton rolled his eyes. "Well, he couldn't go the pound like your  
parents did when they got you."

James wrapped his arm around Laura. "We really should let Sirius  
continue."

_You should find him suitable for puppy making. When you make  
my Remus puppy, would you please be so kind as to have Sirius record  
it for me? I am very fascinated as to how a puppy is made and I have  
never seen it done before. _

Maddy rolled her eyes. "There is nothing more pathetic than a  
150 year-old virgin."

_I promise that I won't sell your moment or let it become  
public in any way, shape, or form with the possible exceptions of  
staff meetings and 7th year care of  
magical creature classes. _

_I want a Remus puppy as soon as possible because he can replace the  
puppy that I had when I was ten. He was a good puppy and his name was  
Harry. I loved Harry a lot. Aberforth loved him even more, Mumsy  
always said that Abe loved him too much. She used to tell him, that  
one should love their animals but not really love their animals. _

Clayton raised his hand. "Do werewolves count?"

_Then she would sigh, she sighed a lot. _

Maddy growled. "If I was his mother, I would have been taking  
him to the woodshed a lot."

_Remus Lupin is a little over six feet tall and has brown hair with  
gold streaks in it that is going silver though I can assure you he is  
still quite limber. _

It was James's turn to raise his hand. "Why the fuck would  
Dumbledore know if Remus was limber or not?"

_He also has dreamy amber colored eyes. He likes hot tubbing,  
chocolate syrup and bocciball. I suggest getting him very drunk before  
you mate, as I think he might fancy boys. I have never seen any proof  
to convince me otherwise, so get him drunk. I highly recommend Ogden  
's firewhiskey for maximum effect, I can attest that such effects are  
quite lovely. _

_Sirius Black doesn't need to be drunk, he's randy all the time. _

The four teenagers put aside their confusion and anger to  
take a moment to fall over laughing.

Clayton winked at the Animagus. "So that's why Paige likes you?"

_He's 6'6 with shaggy black hair and very pretty eyes. I like Sirius'  
eyes. They remind me of my dead puppy, Harry. I think James and Lily  
named Harry after my dead puppy. He's so angsty about it, too. Angsty,  
angsty, angsty Harry, he makes me sad sometimes. _

Maddy threw up her hands in disgust. "So all this is about  
some goth kid that was named after a dead puppy?"

_If neither one of them is suitable, you can always find me at  
Hogwarts. I can assure you that if you look anything like your Mum, I  
would be more than willing. _

Laura and Maddy looked at each other. "EWWW!" They exclaimed  
simultaneously.

_Not to mention, I actually like sex, it makes my toenails turn a  
normal color. Normally they're green, but I digress. _

James smacked himself on the forehead. "Dumbledore digress? I  
couldn't imagine such a thing. By the way Sirius, where does he live?"

_Please make me a Remus-puppy as soon as possible. I want my  
Remus-puppy! Make me a thingy to watch it on, too. _

_Sincerely, and with much firewhiskey, _

_Albus Dumbledorfth (did I spell my name right?) _

Sirius folded the letter. "Happy now?"

The room fell silent for a moment before all four teenagers began  
yelling at Sirius at once.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paige hurried through the halls of Hogwarts, cursing under her breath.  
Dumbledore was going to pay for the letter, and she was sure she would  
pay for keeping it hidden. That it would be painful, she was sure of  
as well. Sighing, she put that thought away for later.

Turning the last corner, she spotted the statue of the gargoyle that  
led to his office and was stopped by Madam Pomfrey in the hallway.

The short witch bustled up to her and took her by the arm. "Oh dear,  
have you been in a fight? We must get that taken care of. Come with me  
and we'll get you fixed up."

Paige resisted and took another step towards the statue. "That's all  
right, I'm fine. Really, I need to speak with the headmaster."

Pomfrey frowned and inspected her face. "Oh no, we really must get  
that taken care of. After all, dear, we wouldn't want you to go around  
with a nasty bruise on your cheek. That would ruin your pretty face.  
Besides, I know of a professor or two who would be perfect for you and  
you wouldn't want them to see you like this, would you? Come on, let's  
get you down to my office and we'll fix you up."

Paige rolled her eyes and gently removed herself from the woman's  
grasp. "Um, how about I come and see you afterward? I really need to  
speak with Dumbledore and it can't wait."

Without waiting for an answer, she dashed to the gargoyle, said the  
password and started up the stairs.

Poppy, however, followed her. "He can be considered quite dashing, you  
know."

Paige stopped and turned around. "What?"

Prompted to go on, the mediwitch replied, "The professor I was telling  
you about. He's also well established and a good listener. He's not  
much for talking, but I'm sure a pretty girl like you could open him  
up."

Paige continued up the staircase again and shook her head. "No, I'm  
sorry Madam Pomfrey, I'm not interested in that right now. I really  
need to go now, okay?" Nodding at Paige, she shuffled down the stairs  
and out of sight.

Shaking her head, Paige opened the door to see Dumbledore berating the  
fireplace for being selfish. Once he noticed her standing in the  
doorway, she burst out, "That's it. You're all fucking nuts!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kate exited the dining room to find Maddy and Laura pouring over the  
book.

"How do they do that?" Laura asked turning the book sideways.

"Magic of course...It is probably a combination of levitation spells,"  
Maddy replied engrossed in the text.

"I don't know, Maddy. I think it would be better just to do what comes  
naturally. I mean what happens if you..." She stopped midsentence to  
see Kate staring at them.

"Well, if you two want to read more to satisfy your academic curiosity  
this will be in Abby's Library," she stated sternly before taking the  
text away from the girls. "Where are the others?"

Maddy and Laura exchanged a worried look and remained silent.  
Kate stepped forward so she towered over the teenage werewolves.  
"Madeline, where are the others?"

Maddy swallowed hard. "Um...Well, James is watching Remus from the hall.  
Remus is in the process of destroying Paige's room. And Sirius and  
Clayton sort of went to do things together." Under Kate's severe gaze  
she quickly added. "And we think Jack in the shower because the water  
has been running for the past hour."

The older werewolf backed down. "Where are Sirius and Clayton?"

The girls exchanged a nervous glance. " England ...we think," Laura  
replied timidly.

Kate sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "All right, one fire at  
a time. You two go to John and Abby's house and stay there."

"But Kate..." the girls whined in unison.

"I said go. Hop in the pool if you like, just stay there."

"The pool?" Maddy asked. "But it's forty degrees outside..."

She was cut off by Kate pushing the pair into the dining room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Mr. Lupin has every right to feel as he does, Miss Pierce, and I  
cannot force him to come back." Albus Dumbledore stated and Paige  
glared at him angrily. Smiling benignly at her, he formulated his next  
words carefully. "I'm afraid that he's not in a rational mindset at  
the moment and would not follow any orders I gave him anyway. I have  
no choice but to admit my defeat in the matter and grant his request  
to be dismissed from the Order." He stroked Fawkes and affected an air  
of mild disappointment.

Paige stared at him incredulously for a moment before slamming her  
fist down on his desk. Glaring down at the mage, she growled, "You  
lazy, dimwitted old man! You can't just sit behind your desk and  
twiddle your thumbs like nothing's happened after the mess you've  
made!"

He sighed and glanced up at her over his spectacles. "I'm afraid that  
you're wrong, Miss Pierce. I can do just that and I plan to. Once Mr  
Lupin comes to his senses, he may return and we will go on just as  
before. For now, we'll just have to make do without him."

Paige narrowed her eyes and balled her hands into fists. "Or maybe the  
rest of us will come to our senses and forget the Order and leave you  
to fight Voldemort alone!" Turning on her heel, she stalked out of the  
office and slammed the door so hard it bounced back open.

Taking a few deep breaths, she looked at her watch before heading down  
to the Quidditch pitch in search of a certain someone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kate wandered down the hall to Paige's room. She found James and Jack  
sitting just outside looking into the room.

James looked up at Kate. "I'm glad you came back. He's been at it  
since you left," he said pointing inside the room.

"How bad is it?" she asked as she cautiously approached the door.

"Mainly furniture so far, though he's recently taken to shredding the  
bedding." James paused for a moment before continuing. "Is he always  
like this? Because you're the closest thing I've got to a sister and I  
really don't think this is healthy."

Kate gave James a weak smile. "He just has a lot of built of  
aggression, I'm sure he will work through it."

Just then a chair flew out of the room and bounced off the force field  
around Jack. James shrugged. "I guess he missed some furniture."

Jack smiled and continued to munch on a bag of microwave popcorn. "I  
love this show," he proclaimed before returning to his observations.

Shaking her head, Kate walked to the threshold of the room. "James,  
why don't you go to John's? The girls are already there and I've got  
things under control here."

James moved to protest but saw the determination in Kate's eyes and  
nodded. "Call if you need us," he said before heading down the hall.

Kate carefully entered the room to find Remus ripping Paige's pillow  
to shreds. "Moony?" she queried. The werewolf turned to face her and  
his features softened. "Beloved, you need to stop."

Moony dropped the pillow and crossed the room. He wrapped Kate in a  
fierce hug and kissed the top of her head. "Mine," he growled  
protectively. Not knowing his own strength he picked Kate up off the  
ground. "He isn't going to take you. And he isn't going to send me  
away," he murmured.

Kate stroked his hair. "Hush love, it's going to be all right."

Moony dropped his head and kissed her possessively. "I will never let  
him have you. And he will never come near our young, I will kill the  
coward first," he growled before releasing her to the floor. He then  
backed her again the wall and closed the door with a wave of his hand.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Catching his eye as he left the pitch, Paige waved to Harry and  
started towards him. After talking briefly with Ron and Ginny, Harry  
stopped and waited for her. Bounding up to them Paige smiled at the  
Weasleys and said, "I'm sorry, guys. I wish I had the time to talk  
with you, but I don't. If I don't get back home soon, two homicidal  
werewolves are gonna tear me apart." Then went on in a more cheerful  
tone, "Harry, can I speak with you please?"

Nodding at the strange woman in front of him, he waved to his friends  
heading back inside the castle and turned back when she said, "See,  
it's like this..."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After twenty minutes, Kate finally convinced Remus to Apparate to  
Mount Charleston. Actually, she didn't so much have to convince him to  
go to Mount Charleston as to not have sex in Paige's room. She smiled  
as Remus inhaled the fresh air and seemed to calm a little.

She clasped his hand in hers and began to head up the mountain in the  
direction of her father's house. They paused at a small clearing where  
a very large wizard was chopping wood.

"Bastards! Who the fuck do they think they are! 'I'm sorry but we  
can't approve a shipping license for your kind,'" he grumbled to no  
one in particular. "Fucking Limies, who the fuck died and left them  
the fucking world ?"

Kate let go of Remus's hand and walked toward the quarter-giant. "Oak,  
what happened?"

Oak spun around and faced Kate and Remus. "The goddamn British  
Wizarding community happened. Since the EU went through they have  
final say over all international merchants importing into Europe.  
Needless to say they denied the renewal of our license to sell magical  
tools and crafts on the basis of our supposed dark background." Oak  
let the axe fall splitting a final piece of wood.

Remus stepped forward. "I'm sorry to hear that."

Oak shrugged. "Nothing you did, I'm sorry you have to live there."

Kate looked around. "Are you done with the woodpile?"

Oak shook his head. "No, but there is an extra axe."

"All right, Remus take the axe and chop some wood." Kate said  
brightly.

Remus looked at her as if she had gone mad. "Why would I want to chop  
wood?"

Kate led him over to the axe. "Because you have too much aggression  
bottled up inside you. You need an outlet."

"No, I don't. Kate, trust me, I'm over it," he said in a pleading  
voice.

"Humor me then," Kate said gently.

"Fine, a duck walks into a bar and asks the barkeep if he's got any  
bananas..." Kate rolled her eyes and he sighed, "Fine." Remus picked up  
the axe and split a piece of wood. "There, are you happy?"

"No, say something you're mad about." She urged. Remus looked  
doubtfully at his mate.

Oak cleared his throat. "It helps and it works a lot better than  
punching someone. Not as well as wrapping them in duct tape and  
leaving them to the elements, but it helps."

Remus conceded and lifted the axe. "Snape being a rude bastard," he  
said splitting a piece of wood. "Dumbledore wanting me to leave those  
I love," he said a little louder and split yet another piece of wood.  
"You're right I do feel a little better... Dumbledore thinking of me as  
only an animal," he said clearly and swung the axe a little more  
forcibly. "Not being able to marry you like a proper wizard," he  
called out, cleaving the wood cleanly. "Dumbledore treating you like a  
broodmare," he yelled, shattering the next piece of lumber.

Oak pulled Kate to the side. "Why don't you go up to the house? This  
is probably going to take a while. Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on  
him."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Harry frowned at her and scratched his head. "What could Dumbledore  
possibly write in a letter that would make Remus not want to come  
back?"

Smiling, Paige shrugged. "It's a werewolf thing, I don't know. Maybe  
they're just a bit more dodgy than the rest of us?" Harry's flat stare  
made her go on. "Or maybe not. The point is, Harry, that he said he  
was never coming back. The Order needs him and you most  
certainly need him, so I really need you to write this letter.  
Unless, of course, you don't want to see him again. In that case, I  
understand and I'll leave you alone now."

Eyes widening, Harry jerked. "No! I'll write the letter, just tell me  
what you want me to say."

Paige smiled inwardly and shook her head. "Uh-uh, it can't be my  
words, it has to be yours. If it doesn't sound like you, then he'll  
get even madder and refuse to come back no matter what." Pausing for a  
moment, she bit her lip. "Actually, he already did that, so you need  
to write the letter yourself or he'll just get even more stubborn,  
alright?"

Knitting his brow, Harry nodded and they started back for the castle.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hearing the string of curses coming from one of the bedrooms, Sirius  
put the black leather book down on the counter and went down the  
hallway.

Paige stood in the middle of her room, fists on her hips. "What the  
hell did they do, Sirius? Couldn't they have searched with a little  
more caution?"

Sirius leaned on what was left of the door jam and gave Paige a wry  
smile. "Maybe they were a little upset about you keeping the letter  
from them."

Growling, Paige set about cleaning up the mess. "Hey, I did what I  
thought was best. Kate should know that. Why is my bookcase ripped  
apart?"

Grinning, Sirius replied, "They found the book and thought they might  
see if there were more in with it."

Sighing, Paige smirked. "Let me guess, they destroyed it?"

"Nope, Kate took it. I think she's giving it to John," Sirius replied.

Brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, Paige finished repairing  
what she could. "Oh, then I guess it's a good thing that's not the  
original, huh?"

Sirius straightened, a smile crossing his features. "What? You mean,  
that's a copy?"

Giggling, Paige got rid of her bedding and nodded. "Yep, I always make  
backups just in case." Sighing, she turned to the doorway and eyed  
what was left of her door. "Speaking of books, have you seen a black  
leather one around here?"

Sirius stepped into the room as the door came back together. "Yes, I  
did. It's on the counter in the kitchen."

Nodding, she plopped down on the bed. "Alright, so where is Remus  
now?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus stood in the clearing chopping wood. The pile of lumber was  
currently twice his height.

From the edge of the clearing, Oak and Bob looked on with mild  
interest. "Well, I'm impressed with his stamina," Bob said with a  
light chuckle.

"I feel sorry for Kate, she must wake up awfully sore," Oak commented  
causing Bob to make a face.

"Please don't share thoughts like that, son," Bob replied.

"To change the subject then, I'm exhausted just watching him so I'm  
heading home to my wife," Oak said, standing to leave.

"Where do you think you're going?" Bob snapped.

"Oh come off it, he's been at it for over four hours. We don't need to  
be babysitting him. He will cool down. English boy has a lot to work  
through," the younger werewolf reassured him before walking down the  
path.

Bob shrugged and headed back to his house. "Wish I knew what got that  
boy so worked up," he grumbled as he walked up the hill.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paige and Sirius Apparated to the edge of Bob's property. Paige handed  
the marauder a broom. "All right Sirius, it is very important that you  
follow me exactly."

"Right, luv" Sirius replied giving a mock salute. Thirty feet into the  
forest, Sirius promptly flew into a very large tree.

Paige doubled back and flew down to where Sirius was sprawled out on  
the forest floor. She landed near him and doubled over laughing.

Sirius made a noise like a dying camel and stared up at the sky. "Ow!"

"Are you all right, hun ?" Paige asked and he repeated the noise. "How  
about you just ride on the back of my broom?"

Sitting up, he nodded and started pulling leaves out of his hair.  
"That sounds like a good idea, luv."

After getting situated again, they set off for Bob's house. Spotting  
Remus, Paige flew to the edge of the clearing.

"All right, let's go," Sirius said enthusiastically.

Paige grabbed Sirius's arm. "No, we need a plan."

Sirius shook Paige off. "No, we don't, luv. It's just Remus."

"Sirius, he's a werewolf wizard with an axe," Paige whispered  
empathically.

"Oh Paige, come on look at him. It's just Remus. Remus wouldn't hurt a  
fly." Just then a fly landed on the woodpile and Remus cleaved it  
cleanly in half. "See, I'm sure it didn't feel a thing." Sirius  
replied, taking a step towards the werewolf.

"What about Kate then? What about your arm? What about Snape? Remus  
can hurt people," Paige hissed at the Animagus, who was dragging her  
towards the werewolf.

Sirius shrugged. "Only if he's angry with them or really randy," he  
countered with a cheeky grin before running up to his friend. "Oy!  
Moony!"

Remus stopped his work and looked up at the Animagus running toward  
him. "Padfoot, Miss Pierce," he replied curtly before returning to  
chopping.

Paige grimaced and cautiously followed Sirius to the werewolf. "Remus,  
you've got to hear me out. You need to return to England."

Remus swung the axe down harder than was necessary splintering the  
piece of wood and driving the axe into the earth. "And why pray tell is that? Does Albus require stud services or just someone to babysit Fawkes?" He let out a deep sigh and straightened his posture. "I'm wanted here, Paige. I'm needed here. For the first time in years, I am truly happy."

"Remus, Harry needs you. You can't just stay here and hide behind  
Kate's skirts," Paige implored.

"I'm not hiding behind Kate's skirts," Remus growled. "I've got a job  
lined up as a tutor. Kate will work in the club and..."

Paige glared at the werewolf. "Kate has a job, she's not going to the  
side to support your lazy ass just because you're too much of a coward  
to face that twinkling old fool."

Remus let out a lot growl. "Kate will not be forced to do anything. If  
she chooses not to work, I will happily support her. She is choosing  
to work at the club because it is all she can find at the moment."

"What!" Paige exclaimed.

"Gods! Let me spell it out for you. Lockhart fired Kate. Maybe if you  
were a better friend you would have figured that out when she hadn't  
gone to work today," he said in a dangerously low voice.

"Where do you get off--"Paige hissed as she pulled her wand.

At that moment, both Kate and Sirius disarmed the pair. Remus turned  
to his mate with an apologetic expression on his face. Kate graced him  
with a small smile. "Dinner is ready up at the house. Why don't you  
show Sirius the way?" she asked. Remus gave her a curt nod and  
motioned for Sirius to follow him.

Paige turned on Kate. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"We never really had a chance to talk and I didn't want you to do  
something rash," Kate replied in a steely voice as she pocketed her  
wand.

"I'm your friend, you could have told me anything," Paige stated in  
exasperation. "What else are you keeping from me then?"

Kate gave the Animagus a cold smile. "Nothing that will affect your  
personal safety or classify you as a broodmare."

Paige sighed. "Considering what happened do you blame me? Besides I  
would have shared eventually," she added hopefully.

"You have your answer then." Kate said, walking towards the house. Leaving Paige alone in the forest.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius and Remus walked up the path in silence as it began to snow.

Sirius pointed at a few flakes. "Just like home," he said hopefully.  
"Harry wrote you a letter you know."

Remus nodded and continued down the path. "That's nice."

Sirius continued on, "They will be decorating Hogwarts in a few weeks  
that should be festive...Oh come on, Moony. Aren't you the least bit  
interested about Harry's letter?"

Remus's pace quickened. "No, not right now anyway."

"I was really impressed by how much wood you chopped. Maybe you could  
teach Harry to chop wood when we get back. Perhaps, you could teach  
the both of us since my parents never really allowed me around axes. I  
think Harry would really like that. He always loved you as a teacher,  
he used to go on and on about you," Sirius said trying a different  
angle.

Remus turned to face the Animagus. "I'm not going back."

"You have to go back, Moony. Just read the letter and you will see  
that," Sirius growled. "You have to go back for Harry. He needs you  
even if you are being a stupid wanker at the moment."

Remus turned and started walking again. "I don't have to do anything,  
Padfoot."

Sirius stopped dead in his tracks. "Yes, you bloody well do. You have  
to be there for Harry. You promised Remus, so stop being a selfish  
knob and live up to it."

Remus gave an unimpressed snort and continued on.

Sirius ran after the werewolf. "I will bloody well drag you back if I  
have to but you are going. I have never known you to go back on a  
promise in your entire life and I refuse to let you start now."

Remus ignored the Animagus and kept walking. Sirius was undeterred and  
kept pace with him. "So what? This is how it ends? Remus Lupin, the  
only wizard in the Order brave enough to threaten Vernon Dursley  
within an inch of his life before Harry went to Hogwarts is going to  
give up because of what? A stupid letter?"

Remus whipped around and glared at the Animagus. "How do you know  
about that?"

Sirius glared back at the werewolf. "Tonks told me, said the Ministry  
threatened to send you to Azkaban unless you agreed to leave the  
country until Harry received his letter. Up until last year they  
evidently had a file three inches thick on how you trailed Harry  
during the first three years he lived with the Dursleys and how it  
came to a head the day you threatened to rip that orca's heart  
out if he ever laid a hand on him again."

Remus's gaze locked with Sirius'. "That doesn't matter, he has lots of  
wizards and witches to protect him now."

"Fine!" Sirius snarled before tackling the werewolf and pinning him to  
the ground. He pushed his wand into Remus's throat and began. "You  
will listen to me, Remus. Even if I have to blast a bloody hole  
through you, you will listen to me. You promised, don't you  
understand. You promised Lily the day he was born and you promised her  
again the day James and I were complete prats and told you to fuck off  
because we didn't see the rat Peter truly was."

Sirius bent his head and spoke into Remus's ear. "And do you want to  
know why I remember this little piece of nostalgia, do you want to  
know why it is etched into my brain, you self-centered bastard?  
Because every week for twelve years, when the memories of James and  
Lily had made me numb, I remembered you. I remembered all the awful  
things we did to you those last months. I remember every time I  
betrayed you. And I remember Lily telling me the day before she went  
into hiding that you couldn't be the spy because you were the only one  
to make a Wizarding promise to give your life for Harry. You promised  
her! Now read the goddamn letter!" Sirius pushed Remus down and  
stood up, before throwing down the letter.

**AN: Woohoo! Guilt-Tripping Sirius! I wonder if he comes in my size. LOL! Actually, he comes in Paige. (OH! That was bad, onto a different subject!)**

**Crazy ktchan: Why, thank you. You're my new favorite person. preens**

**Stephanie: Hey! I have maroon hair, thank-you-very-much! Well, I DID, but it faded. sigh stupid hair coloring.**

**Cjblack: Umm, I can't remember what websites we put up, but send me an email (it's in my profile) and I can send you the links directly if that's the problem. Not to worry about being lazy, I haven't read the Pensieve in a while either. **

**Hope for the Future: hahaha! I always wonder why Harry wouldn't just get a gun, anyway. GASP! Maybe that's the secret weapon for defeating Voldie, but Harry just needs Hermione to get her head out of the books and make her watch an episode of NYPD Blues to figure it out! Uh oh, Rowling's gonna be pissed, I just unveiled her master plan. BTW, I want to shoot him, too.**

**And a BIG thank you to Katarina and Jen, our betas, for doing such a fine job, as usual. We love you both! Oh, and Jen, I hope the trip to Niagra Falls didn't make you go insane, as we will have need of you in the future. :p NO BARRELS FOR YOU!**

**Hornhead**


	34. I'll keep you in socks

Warning: Yeah, ok, so there are a hundred of you and only three of us... but you don't know where we live so we don't mind how mad this chapter will get you. :p

Chapter 34: See ya

Morning came too soon for Sirius's tastes. He opened his eyes to see a tangle of maroon hair in front of him. Pulling Paige closer, he snuggled into her back and almost fell asleep.

Groaning, he remembered he had to go home today. Paige stirred and he froze, he'd almost awakened her. Looking at the alarm clock, he got up. His things were already packed and next to the front door, so all he needed to do was change and eat breakfast before leaving.

Pulling the sweater off, he jumped when Paige mumbled, "Keep it, it's too big for me anyway and you need it."

Glancing over at her, he grinned. "Oy, you startled me. You want me to keep it? Are you sure?"

Paige gave him a sleepy smile and yawned. "Yep. If I want to remember you, I always have the other one you wore yesterday. That, and countless other things around here."

Putting it back on, Sirius changed into his jeans and shoes before standing and looking down at her. "Well, I'll go eat and then I'll be ready to go."

Paige shook her head and showed him the time on her cell phone. "You're almost late."

Sirius's eyes widened.

"What? No, your alarm clock says I still have half an hour!"

She chuckled at him. "My alarm clock was broken yesterday by one of our mutual friends. The cell phone is right, that clock over there isn't. You'd better get going."

Sirius stood and sighed. "Right. Can I write to you, at least?"

Paige nodded and sat up. "Of course, I'd love that."

Sirius gave her a quick kiss before watching her lay back on the bed and close her eyes. He sighed again as he gathered his things from the front door and apparated.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Remus held Kate through most of the night. He had cast a light slumber spell on to ensure she wouldn't stir when he finally left. It had taken him most of the night to convince her, but finally she agreed. He hadn't wanted her to remember the pain of his leaving or see the pain in his eyes. Sirius had been right, he had made a promise and he was going to keep it.

He distracted himself from this train of thought. The entire situation was heartbreaking but they had both agreed to make their last few hours together happy ones. Bob had volunteered to fetch Remus's things from the apartment so there was no need to see Sirius or Paige.

They had spent the rest of the night in the mating room at John and Abby's house. Kate and Remus had made love for hours and he made a point of telling her how much he loved her every chance he could. Lying there, all he could think of was how it wasn't enough. He thought back to all the time they had spent together and how much his life had changed for the better in the span of two weeks.

He was shaken from his revelry by a knock at the door. It creaked open and Abby popped her head in. "You've got fifteen minutes until the portkey activates. You need to meet Sirius in the park." Remus nodded and Abby closed the door behind her.

He reluctantly cast a quick cleansing charm on himself and dressed. He gave Kate a sweet kiss on the lips before heading out of the room. "I will see you again, dearest."

Abby met him in the kitchen and gave him a muffin. "You can apparate straight to the park." She said before taking in his appearance. She cast a few cleansing and grooming charms on him. "She will wait for you. She loves you very much and she will wait. So be safe and stay out of trouble."

Remus gave the older witch a hug. "Thank you, Abigail." He whispered before apparating to the park.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The pair of British wizards walked to the edge of the Fairy Grove and sat in the grass.

Sirius sighed. "Bollocks! Don't tell me you're still mad at me?"

Remus growled and pulled his worn cloak tighter around him. "Yes." He snapped.

"But that was yesterday. The only time you've been mad at me overnight was…yes, well that was yesterday." Sirius pouted.

"That bloody well doesn't change the fact that I have to leave today." Remus angrily stated.

"Look Moony, this isn't my fault." Sirius replied.

Remus sat quietly for a moment before casting a weak smile at Sirius. "True, but that doesn't change the fact that you are a complete wanker."

"I have to be now, Paige is staying here." Sirius said teasingly.

Remus chuckled. "Don't try and cheer me up."

Sirius looked seriously at his friend. "Don't worry Moony, you'll see her again. Until then I will keep you in socks, just remember to put them in the hamper afterwards. Remember the dormitory floor after James saw Lily in her nightdress…Of course, those weren't just his socks." Sirius said waggling his eyebrows.

"I know, didn't you ever notice I never asked for the dozen pair you borrowed over the course of our school career." Remus said quietly.

Sirius grinned evilly at him. "Not to worry, I'm sure you'll make up for it."

Remus looked around the park and sighed. "I'm really going to miss this place."

Sirius nodded. "I know…Ya' know Moony, Las Vegas isn't such a scary place after all."

**A/N: Ok, we know. We lied... Never trust a title.**

**The End **

_Or is it? _

**Yes, really. The End. **

_Or is it? _

**We are pretty sure, it is the end. **

_Or is it? _

**Whatever.**

_Okay. _

_…..Or is it whenever? _

**Bugger Off. **


End file.
